Madel Vanguardia L113 QUIZ: Marriage and Family

Christian Couple

1. What is your love story?

Couple met in college, while the man was a volunteer in Victory (ENC) and the woman was a new believer.
They became close friends. The guy decided to propose after a couple of years of friendship when they were
already graduates. The man proposed for a marriage and they weren’t even a couple yet. A day after, the
woman said “YES” via pager. Their relationship started with friendship, then engagement and they got married
in less than a year.
2. When did you decide that it was the right time to get married? Why did you decided to get married?
After praying and seeking Godly counsel to friends and accountable persons and asking permission from
parents, the man proposed for he felt like he didn’t want to enter a relationship for the sake of being in a
relationship, instead he wanted to pursue a relationship that honors God.
3. What challenges do you face as a married couple?
Several challenges arise from petty quarrels and disagreements on business strategies, as well as problems
with in-laws
4. How do you resolve conflicts? Do you have ground rules when you have conflicts?
Conflicts are resolved through collaboration. Communication is the key. At times when there are things that
the couple disagree, they just agree to disagree.
5. What challenges did you face in raising your children?
The (3) kids have different personalities, hence, there are different styles in handling them. But since all of
them are homeschooled they never encountered any major problem raising the kids.
6. What ground rules did you set for your children? Explain why.
Discipline is important and open communication. They don’t put passwords in their phones and they are very
open especially when they have problems.

Non-Christian Couple

1. What is your love story?

Couple met at work. They became friends and became a couple before they started living in together and had
their first baby. When the woman got pregnant, they decided to get married.
2. When did you decide that it was the right time to get married? Why did you decided to get married?
When the woman got pregnant and they realized they have been together for 3 years and they are already
adults and they really love each other, they decided to get married.
3. What challenges do you face as a married couple?
Problems with the in-laws is their major challenge since after giving birth they moved in with the guy’s parents.
They fought over work as well since the woman had to stop to take care of their child.
4. How do you resolve conflicts? Do you have ground rules when you have conflicts?
They talk and sometimes they allow time to heal them. The wife would usually go to her parent’s house during
fights and allow time to heal them. When they are no longer angry, they talk and settle.
5. What challenges did you face in raising your children?
Currently they have two kids and they are very strict in terms of studies. The wife tutors the kids and ensures
limited screen time. Current challenges are minor like lies, tantrums, etc.
6. What ground rules did you set for your children? Explain why.
They are not allowed to watch television during exam week and they are only allowed to use gadgets 3 hours
per day in order to ensure they don’t get addicted and they have enough time to study.
SUMMARY/ REACTION PAPER

There is a huge difference between a Christian or Disciple couple and the Non-Christian couple in terms of
handling and dealing conflicts. The Non-Christian couple usually resort to allowing time to heal and going to their
respective parents for consultation despite the fact that they have their own family already. Leave and cleave is
something that they do not value as of the moment. They believe that their own parents still have some say on their
own relationship. On the contrary, the Christian couple acknowledges that conflicts are inevitable, thus, must be
addressed properly. Praying is an important element since they acknowledge that the covenant they are part of is not
only within themselves but also with God. Instead of running away from their problem and letting time heal, they deal
with it and if at times when they still do not agree, they decide to agree to disagree. Based on the interview, the non-
Christian couple exemplifies child-centered idolatry and rule-centered idolatry. During the interview, the wife
mentioned that they have to stay together for the kids, they do things for the kids, they work for the kids and they have
to ensure at the end of the day they remain together for the kids. In addition, she said that they are very strict in terms
of rules and regulations, instead of focusing on the core values. Hence, it is more on reward policy, if they get good
grades, they get extra screen time, if they fail to meet the desired grades, they get suspended from the use of gadgets.

Some parenting methods do not work well with me. It might have been effective at some point when my
parents practiced it but I don’t find it beneficial for my own kids. For instance, instead of physical disciple my parents
use verbal ways in dealing with our sins and disobedience. Personally I find the use of rod more effective in terms of
discipline rather than bombarding kids with words that might hurt them forever.