VOLUME 1:

Five Parables on Life’s Performance Cycle

DONALD LEE
Copyright © 2019 Donald Lee
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-9992109-2-2 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-1-9992109-0-8 (ebook)
Published in Canada

Except for me, the characters in this book are fictional. However,
any resemblance to people you know is not entirely coincidental.
 ABOUT THE BOOK

W ho thought that cleaning your band instrument would

have deep spiritual significance? Donald Lee draws
on decades as both a Band Director and a Religion teacher
to create modern-day parables from the classroom. People
of any religious persuasion—or none—will be delighted and
inspired by how these band room vignettes shine a spiri-
tual light on everyday experiences. Short enough to read
in the bathroom yet deep enough to ponder for days, The
Band Director’s Lessons About Life fills a glaring void in the
spiritual publishing landscape.
Instead of looking for lost sheep and casting wheat seeds
on rocky ground, Donald draws spiritual lessons out of tun-
ing the flute section and dealing with the kid who skipped
the concert. Every little event has a spiritual dimension—a
terrible performance, a broken clarinet, hallway bullying,
cell phones, test anxiety, even the ugly band uniforms.
Everyone who’s attended school will recognize the charac-
ters, chuckle at their misadventures, and maybe even learn
something about themselves.
vi | D ON A L D L EE

In this abridged eBook, The Band Director’s mini Lessons

About Life, Donald has selected five parables to give readers a
glimpse of the larger book. If you enjoy these stories, be sure
to buy a copy of the full book: The Band Director’s Lessons
About Life—Volume 1: 50 Parables on Life’s Performance Cycle.
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

D onald Lee has led an eclectic

life: musician, teacher, band
director, economist, power engi-
neer, marketer, businessman, ath-
lete, public speaker, and author. He
holds degrees in economics and edu-
cation, has performed professionally
as a musician, was a finalist in the
1995 World Championship of Public
Speaking, was a member of the 2014 Canadian Triathlon
Team, has taught band in several Alberta communities as
well as in international schools in Kuwait and Pakistan, and
has always been an active member of his community. The
Band Director’s Lessons About Life—Volume 1: 50 Parables on
Life’s Performance Cycle is his first book. He currently makes
his home in Peace River, Alberta, Canada.
 DEDICATION

To Jesus,
My brother and yours, may all of us become
more aware of His presence among us,
until we meet again, face to face.
 CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION............................................................................xiii

PART 1: PREPARATION................................................................... 1
Parable 1: I Can Only Teach You What You Want to Learn............3

PART 2: PRACTICE........................................................................... 9
Parable 2: I Can’t Play That................................................................ 11

PART 3: PERFORMANCE.............................................................. 17
Parable 3: We Have to Perform...........................................................19

PART 4: REFLECTION AND REDIRECTION......................... 23

Parable 4: The Concert Debrief...........................................................25
Parable 5: Where Do You Go from Here?.......................................... 31

CONCLUSION................................................................................... 37
 INTRODUCTION
Music is the language of the spirit.
—KHALIL GIBRAN
(Early 20th-century Lebanese-American writer, poet, and artist)

“H e hit me first, Mr. Lee!”

“I’m sure he did, Bradley. I believe you. But what
did Jesus say about that?”
He didn’t know. No one in the class seemed to know—or
wouldn’t admit it if they did. I gave them a hint.
“Remember the part where Jesus says, ‘If someone hits
you on one cheek’? Then what do you do?”
Some awkward squirming in desks but no response.

a
Welcome to my world—the world of a school band director.
You might imagine that every moment of my life is just like
the yearend concert, with all the lights and make-up and
the students behaving their best and performing flawlessly.
That would be as realistic as imaging the Playboy centerfold
xiv | D ON A L D L EE

really looks like that when her husband arrives home from
a business trip and she’s been looking after the four kids by
herself for a week. Life’s not like that.
But the life of a schoolteacher is filled with teachable
moments. Moments when the antics and drama of kids
present a glimpse into eternity—when you realize the les-
son isn’t just learning the alternate F-sharp fingering on
clarinet, but something eternal, something transcendent,
something spiritual.
I started writing some of these moments down on paper.
That’s how it began. How did it end? Well, …you’re holding
that in your hands. It gradually became a project, then a
mission, then a book.
This is a spiritual book—a book of modern-day para-
bles. It’s filled with metaphors. In fact, the whole book is
one big metaphor, because music is a metaphor for life. As
Khalil Gibran says in the opening quote, music really is
the language of the spirit. And how can we possibly under-
stand spiritual things except through metaphor? The Master
Teacher is famous for his metaphors—his parables—but they
need a little updating. Hardly anyone tends sheep in the
hills or sows wheat by hand anymore. But everyone’s been
a kid. And everyone’s been to school. Everyone can relate
to these stories. You might even see yourself in them. They
are inspired by real events, as the Hollywood movies say,
but names, dialogue, and other details have been changed to
protect the guilty and to suit my own devious purposes. My
 In t rodu c t ion | xv

wish for you is that you’ll be drawn into these stories and,
through them, see your own spiritual journey in a new light.

a
“You turn your head this way and let him hit you on the other
cheek as well.” I turned my head and pointed to my cheek.
“I’m not gonna do that!” Bradley declared defiantly.
The boy seemed emphatic and, to be honest, I quite
agreed with him. But I had to play the teacher. He was doing
a perfectly capable job of playing the child.
“The point is, that beating somebody up, or having them
beat you up, is not a very desirable way to solve problems.
So, what is the problem? What started this fight?”
“I just borrowed Kenny’s pen and he had a hissy-fit and
hit me,” Bradley said flippantly and, no doubt, incompletely.
“He took my pencil case. He’s always taking my pencil
case. He takes all my pens and then I get in trouble for not
having a pen in class!” Kenny gave an uncharacteristically
concise description of the problem. It was almost a good
enough reason for hitting Bradley.

a
I have organized the book to reflect the typical performance
cycle in a band program. It’s a metaphor for our cycle of spir-
itual growth in life. At the start of the school year, there’s
lots of preparation to be done: getting class lists, checking
instruments, picking music, setting goals for the various
levels of bands. Then we get down to practicing: learning
xvi | D ON A L D L EE

the skills, new notes, and all the things the kids will need
to master for our first concert. All too soon, the performance
comes. It’s a mixture of success and failure. Some things go
well, some poorly. Afterward, we reflect on the performance
and redirect our efforts for the next concert. This is the per-
formance cycle in Band—preparation, practice, performance,
then reflection and redirection.
It’s a great metaphor for all forms of growth in our lives.
I look at spiritual growth, which is the biggest reason we
are here on this earth. Some people have no idea they are
spiritual beings, some have an inkling about it, and some
realize it completely.
Spiritual development is an iterative process, just like
the performance cycle in Band. The more we make this
process a conscious one, the more we can control and direct
our own spiritual growth and not just bounce reactively from
one of life’s crises to another. This book uses the perfor-
mance cycle in Band as an analogy for Life’s Performance
Cycle. Lessons from the classroom become lessons in the
School of Life.

a
“I see,” I replied slowly, trying to buy time while I thought
of an appropriate solution. Repeat and clarify. That’s always
a great tactic.
“So, Bradley, you needed a pen and you took Kenny’s
pencil case without asking him. Then you took Kenny’s
pen, that Kenny needs for himself. And this is a recurrent
 In t rodu c t ion | xvii

pattern of behavior, as if you are taking advantage of Kenny

or maybe even bullying him. And this behavior stems from
your own lack of responsibility, because it is your responsi-
bility to provide your own pens and pencils.
“Let me see, we have ‘coveting our neighbor’s pens’,
that’s the tenth commandment. We have ‘you shall not steal’,
that’s the seventh commandment. We have ‘you shall not
kill’ which, in its more general application, is an injunction
against excessive violence towards our neighbors. And I’m
sure there’s something in the Bible about behaving respon-
sibly. Have I understood the situation correctly, boys?”
Having thus flabbergasted them, neither was able to
mount a coherent defense.
“Just off the top of my head, I think there is ample
material in this little encounter for both of you to write
wonderful reflective essays on the moral weaknesses both
of you are demonstrating. Would that be a good resolution
to this problem?”
Since the introduction of essay writing was still several
years in these boys’ futures, they naturally agreed, in more
12-year-old language, that such a punishment was excessive
for their crime.
“I wonder if we can come up with a simpler solution to
your problem. Can you boys think of anything?”

a
In the pages that follow, we might not actually break up
fights. But I hope you gain some insights into your own
xviii | D ON A L D L EE

spiritual growth—how you can live your life more success-

fully, happily, and bring peace to those around you. At the
very least, I think you’ll enjoy the stories.
 PART 1: PREPARATION
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step.
—LAO TZU
(Ancient Chinese philosopher, writer, founder of Taoism)

B efore we set out on a journey we would, of course, decide

where we want to go. It’s amazing how many of us set
out in life with no idea whatsoever about where we want to
go. Our first step from wherever we are right now on life’s
journey is to decide where we’re headed.
In a school band program, I start the year by roughly
planning our performance schedule for the year. Typically,
we might do a Halloween concert, a Christmas concert, our
local music festival, a spring tour, and a year-end concert. All
my teaching is then built around the performance schedule.
That’s the Band Performance Cycle.
When students start Band in grade 7, they can’t see how
great they can become after six years. They can’t see the
whole 1000-mile journey. I set little goals for them. They can
2 | D ON A L D L EE

see the first step—the next concert. I help them to believe

they can do that. Then I give them the next step. One step
at a time in an iterative process of becoming a musician.
We can think of music as a metaphor for any growth in
our lives—personal growth, professional growth, business
growth—but I’m using it as a metaphor for spiritual growth.
Spiritual reality underlies and supports physical reality. It’s
like the steel frame of a skyscraper. You can’t see it, but you
know it supports all you can see. When we grow spiritually,
we experience growth in all facets of our lives.
Spiritual growth is a constant process of seeing, in our
mind’s eye, who we really are and who we really want to
become. Like band students, we can see the next step. We
can see ourselves being just a bit better than we are right
now. That’s our next spiritual goal—to be just a bit better. In
this first stage of Preparation, we set that goal and arrange
things in our lives (our thinking, mostly) to be ready to start
working towards that goal. One spiritual step at a time.
You’ll be amazed at the places you’ll see on this journey.
Take my hand and let’s get started.
 PARABLE 1

I Can Only Teach You What

You Want to Learn
You don’t need to see the whole
staircase, just take the first step.
—MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
(20th-century American minister and civil rights activist)

“M r. Lee, do you have a pencil I can borrow?”

“Sure, right here.” I stepped over to my desk,
opened the top left drawer where I keep a stash of spare
pencils, and pulled one out. As I walked it over to the trum-
pet section, it dawned on me why Ruby wanted a pencil.
She wanted to write the trumpet fingerings onto her music.
Ruby was making OK progress in the Grade 8 band. She
clearly loved music and spent any spare minute tinkling
on the piano. But she lacked focus and self-control. Half
the talking in the rehearsals came from her alone. She was
polite enough. I would ask her to be quiet. She would stop
talking. I would carry on, and ten seconds later she’d be
talking again.
“Don’t write down the fingerings, though,” I said, hand-
ing her the pencil. “That won’t help you.”
“Yes, it will. I can’t remember them,” she countered
nonchalantly.
4 | D ON A L D L EE

“You think so, but you end up looking at the numbers

you’ve written under the notes, and not looking at the notes
themselves. So your mind never makes the connection
between what you see on the page and what you do with
your fingers. I’ve seen students who have been in Band for
three years and still don’t know their fingerings.”
“But it helps me” she insisted. Other students chuckled.
They’d heard this lecture before.
Students often look for a short cut to learning—doing
what’s easy, not what’s effective.
“Trust me, Ruby. If writing the fingerings onto your
music actually helped your learning, I would make everyone
do it. But it doesn’t help. It hinders your learning. What does
help are the ways I’ve taught you in class.
“If you forget the fingering for a note, look it up on your
fingering chart. Once you’ve made the effort to look it up
several times, it will stick in your memory. We remember
things better when it takes effort to learn. We remember
best if there’s pain involved. Stick your hand on the hot
burner of the stove just once, and you’ll remember it your
whole life. But the teaching profession frowns on me using
pain as a teaching tool, so just look up the fingerings on the
chart. Writing the fingerings below the notes on the page
simply doesn’t work.”
“It works for me,” Ruby said dismissively as she wrote
the fingerings on her music.
 Pa rt 1: Pr epa r at ion | 5

“Ruby, instead of arguing with me, why not trust me.

This isn’t my first day as a band director. I’ve been through
this with lots of students.”
But she didn’t trust me. She continued writing her fin-
gerings on the music. Ruby wanted to learn music, but she
thought she knew better than her teacher. She insisted on
doing things her way instead of follow-
Ruby
ing the teacher’s instructions. It didn’t
thought she
work out very well for her.
knew better
than her
Reflection teacher. She
What do you want to learn? Where are insisted on
you going on your spiritual journey? doing things
Before you set out, take stock of where her way.
you are now and where you want to go.
That’s step one of our preparation.
First of all, we must understand who we are. “We are not
human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual
beings having a human experience,” as Pierre Teilhard de
Chardin said. Our fundamental nature is spiritual. We are
spirit, or soul. I use these terms to mean the same thing.
Not everyone does, but that’s my level of understanding.
Our spirits are eternal. Our bodies are temporary. I don’t
claim to know where our spirits came from or where they
go, except that we somehow came from God and will return
to God. The key thing is that we are spirit, mind, body—in
that order of importance.
6 | D ON A L D L EE

Our life journey is fundamentally a spiritual journey.

As the opening quote said, we don’t need to see the whole
staircase in order to take the next step. But we need to know
which staircase to get on. Our spiritual journey will take
us to places we don’t expect and cannot foresee. But we still
need to have a destination—a goal—in mind. What is yours?
I believe all of us have a general purpose and a specific
purpose in our lives. The general pur-
pose is one we share with all humanity: “We are
to learn to love. God’s greatest attribute not human
is Love. God is Love. Our purpose is to beings having
become Love, to learn to love all people
a spiritual
experience, we
at all times in all situations—to mani-
are spiritual
fest the Love of God in the world. That’s
beings having
a tall order.
a human
I also believe that each of us has experience.”
a specific purpose in life, one that is
unique to each of us. That’s tougher to figure out. We don’t
know what that purpose is. But God knows. Somehow our
soul knows. Deep inside each of us is the knowledge of our
specific purpose. We need to connect to the Divine within—
that still, small voice inside each of us through which God
speaks. It’s easy to talk to God, but it’s harder to listen to
Him. He speaks softly to our hearts. We need to find ways
to listen to our hearts, to connect with that “Divine Within”,
to find God’s guidance for our lives.
Usually, we make our own plans without God’s input.
Like Ruby, we do things our way. We think we know what
 Pa rt 1: Pr epa r at ion | 7

we’re doing. But we’re writing the note names on the music,
even though our teacher has shown us a better way. Who
is our teacher? I always turn to Jesus, the Master Teacher.
You may have someone or something else. You can choose
your teacher. Choose wisely.
Then, have the humility to follow the teacher’s instruc-
tions. We often resist the lessons, the teaching, the disci-
pline, the hardship. Don’t be like Ruby, because your teacher
can only teach you what you are willing to learn.

What do you want to learn? Where do you want to go

on your spiritual journey in life? Decide that, then
find a master-teacher and do exactly as he instructs.
 PART 2: PRACTICE
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,
then, is not an act, but a habit.
—ARISTOTLE
(4th-century BC Greek philosopher)

A lmost all our time in Band class is devoted to practice.

Most of the preparation is done by me and the per-
formances are pretty short. Students don’t reflect for very
long and they need lots of practice. That’s how the band
performance cycle goes.
Ideally, students should practice at home. They should
take some responsibility for their own progress. But they’re
just kids and few demonstrate that level of maturity and
commitment.
What about you? What level of maturity and commit-
ment do you bring to your own spiritual growth? How
much do you practice? These are always good questions to
ask ourselves.
10 | D ON A L D L EE

We will need to have some vision—some ideal—of who

we want to become as a triune being (spirit, mind, and body).
That was our goal in Part 1: Preparation. Now, we create
ourselves through our thoughts, words, and actions. Part 2
is about Practice—practicing being a better version of our-
selves. In order to achieve that higher vision of ourselves, we
have to practice some new ways of thinking, speaking, and
acting. This section has ideas on how to practice effectively,
but first, we have to believe we can do it.
 PARABLE 2

I Can’t Play That

Whatever the mind can conceive and
believe, the mind can achieve.
—NAPOLEON HILL
(Early 20th-century author, founder of the self-help genre)

“M r. Lee, I can’t play that!” Jessica plopped her flute

on her lap and pouted.
“Yes, you can. Don’t say, ‘can’t’—not in my classroom.”
Jessica was a pretty good Grade 8 flute player but was strug-
gling to learn new notes. I needed to help her stop whining
and start believing.
“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re
right. Don’t create a negative reality for yourself, and limit
your potential achievement, by the way, you think and talk.”
“But I caaaaaan’t,” Jessica whined, accompanied by a
chorus of stifled laughs from the clarinet section.
“It’s just an E♭. It looks high, but it’s not that bad. It pops
out pretty easily. Just put down all your fingers and blow
really hard.”
I picked up my flute and played the high E♭.
“Now you try it,” I invited.
In music, lots of things look scary on the page but aren’t
that hard to play. Once students get the idea of how it should
12 | D ON A L D L EE

sound, they can usually make their instruments do it. We

call this “audiation”—hearing the sound in your head. Of
course, it takes practice. But the first step is getting the
sound in your head. The second step is believing you can
do it. The third step is practicing until it happens: conceive,
believe, practice. (In the opening quote, Napoleon Hill left
out that last step.)
That’s why I keep a variety of instruments close at hand
when I’m teaching band—to give the students an audible
example of how it should sound.
A high-pitched squeal rang out in the band room.
“I got it!” Jessica exclaimed.
“You did. See, you can do it. Now, don’t say ‘can’t’. It
doesn’t exist here. The band room is a land of possibilities.
Have you ever heard this expression?”

Sow a thought, reap an action.

Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.

I looked around the class. “Anybody ever heard that

expression?” It was a sea of “deer-caught-in-the-headlights”
faces. Nobody had heard it before.
“Is it in the Bible?” Fred asked.
“No, it’s not from the Bible, although it sounds ‘Bibleish’.
Nobody seems to know who first stated the idea in those
words, but it succinctly expresses a great spiritual truth.
 Pa rt 2 : Pr ac t ice | 13

“So, how do you apply that idea in your own life? It

might work something like this. You sow a thought. ‘I think
I’ll take my French horn home tonight and practice it.’ So
you do. The next day you think, ‘That was neat. Maybe
I’ll do it again tonight.’ Soon, practicing your instrument
is a habit. Then, you seal your character and your fate.
Musicians have the habit of practicing their instruments.
Keep up that habit and you will become a musician.”
“Yeah, but some people are talented. Not me. Learning
the flute is hard for me.” Jessica said defiantly.
“That’s great. I wouldn’t want it to be any easier for you
than it was for me.”
“Mr. Lee, that’s rude.” Jessica feigned shock.
“It’s not rude. It’s just blunt. You see, talent doesn’t mat-
ter. Practice does. Thousands of untalented people have
become capable musicians. People sometimes tell me that
I’m talented, but I’m not. I practiced for thousands of hours.
It wasn’t easy for me either. What I have done, you can do
too. I’m not talented. I’m skillful. Talent is genetic. Skill comes
with practice.”
Jessica was not completely Talent is genetic.
convinced, but during the ensu- Skill comes with
ing years, it was a joy to see her practice.
gradually become less whiny, and
mature into an increasingly capable young woman.
14 | D ON A L D L EE

Reflection
Practice. You can do it too. You can learn to play your
instrument—whatever that metaphor means for you. You
can become the person you want to be. You can develop
whatever skill you choose to practice.
In your mind’s eye, see what you want to become—visu-
alize it. Or—in the case of music—hear it. Believe you can
achieve it. God does not put ideas into our heads that are
impossible for us. That’s why Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever
your mind can conceive and believe.” Then you have to
practice. It’s like the Nike slogan, you have to do it! Conceive,
believe, practice—then you will become what you want
to become.
This is a spiritual principle. What you
want for yourself is created in your spirit, God does
built in your mind, and manifests in the not put ideas
into our
material world. So think carefully about
heads that are
what you want for yourself. If, like Jessica,
impossible
you believe that you cannot achieve some-
for us.
thing, then your mind will make that a
reality for you. Don’t create a negative reality for yourself.
Imagine a positive reality of successful achievement instead.
Meditate on the person you want to become. Hold a
mental image of yourself the way you want to be. Then
practice acting and reacting the way that person would.
Practice responding with love, with peace, with happiness—
to whatever life throws at you. You will become the person
that you imagine yourself to be.
 Pa rt 2 : Pr ac t ice | 15

Then the cycle repeats. Once you’ve achieved that vision,

you’ll get a bigger picture of what you can become. All
growth is a repetitive, cyclical pro-
cess—Life’s Performance Cycle. We
What you want for
are always becoming more than we
yourself is created
are now. God’s creation didn’t stop in your spirit, built
after Chapter 11 of Genesis—it’s in your mind, and
eternal. We are co-creators with manifests in the
God and we get to constantly create material world.
ourselves anew.

We are constantly becoming something more

than we were before—re-creating ourselves.
Whatever you want to become, you can.

1. Picture it. 2. Believe it. 3. Practice it.

 PART 3: PERFORMANCE
The highest levels of performance come to people who
are centered, intuitive, creative, and reflective—people
who know to see a problem as an opportunity.
—DEEPAK CHOPRA
(American author, public speaker, alternative medicine advocate)

W e’ve set some goals—a new vision of who we really

are—and practiced hard to develop skill. Now comes
the test. In Band, the concerts are like the final exams in
other subjects. We spend months practicing for one big
moment—the concert. Hours and hours of planning, explain-
ing, demonstrating, cajoling, handwringing, sometimes cry-
ing—funnel into a one-hour onstage spectacle.
But spiritually, our “performance” is not a one-time
event. It’s an ongoing performance at a new level with our
new, improved self. Our goal of spiritual development means
that we are better every moment of every day. We are more
patient—all the time. We are more loving to everyone, not
just the people we think deserve it. We are more conscious
18 | D ON A L D L EE

of the presence of God in our lives at every moment. We

pray more, every day, not just when we’ve got ourselves into
a mess that we want God to get us out of.
Trying to be someone new, improved, and different is
likely to create some cognitive dissonance for us. We’re
nervous, uncomfortable, people think there’s something
wrong with us. We mess up and fall back into older habits
of thinking, speaking, and acting. It’s not easy. We’ll have
some successes and some failures. That’s life. But we have
to perform.
 PARABLE 3

We Have to Perform
The real test of a musician is live performance.
—NEIL PEART
(Drummer for Rush)

“C ome on, everybody, let’s get set up and ready to play.

We’ve got lots of work to do today. Our Christmas
concert is in two weeks.” The grade 8 band students were
gradually wandering in and preparing for the rehearsal—
with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
“Mr. Lee, do we have to have a concert? Why can’t we
just have Band class but no concerts?” Lindsay flopped into
her chair like a rag doll and flicked her head to toss her
auburn curls over her shoulder. She had that whiney moan
of a 13-year-old who doesn’t want to do the dishes.
I was shocked. The thought seemed like sacrilege. Music
is a performing art. How could Lindsay question the very
foundation of this massive educational edifice we call Band?
“Of course we have to perform, Lindsay. Your parents
want to hear your beautiful music.” I tried to sound calm
and nonchalant.
“Not mine. They don’t care,” was Lindsay’s flippant
comeback. She casually pulled parts of her clarinet from
its case and slid them together.
20 | D ON A L D L EE

“I don’t believe that. Your parents care about you. They

care about what you’re doing in school and they care about
your music. And even if none of that was true—I care. And
so should you.”
I could not let this mortal stab at the heart and soul of
music, at my heart and soul, go without a counterattack.
“Listen, everyone. This is important. Performance is
essential for many reasons. Our performances are goals,
rewards, tests, achievements all rolled into one. If we had no
performance to work toward, there would be no reason to
work at all. It really wouldn’t matter if we played the right
notes or the wrong notes, if we learned something new
or just played the same song a hundred times. We would
quickly find the whole exercise a waste of time and no fun
at all. The concert is our goal. It gives us a reason to learn
and a justification for our effort. Concerts in Band class
are like the final exams in other classes. We work towards
them and, when we play well, we have a profound sense of
achievement and satisfaction.”
“I’d be satisfied to just play in class.” Lindsay was stub-
bornly unrepentant. At least, by this time, she had assem-
bled her clarinet and was searching in the case for a reed.
“You wouldn’t be satisfied for long. Sometimes I’ve had
grand intentions of practicing my clarinet really hard. But if
I had no upcoming performance, my efforts quickly dribbled
away. Every little distraction became more important than
practicing. Only when I have something to practice for, do
I actually practice. And I like practicing.
 Pa rt 3 : Per f o r m ance | 21

“There’s an even bigger lesson here. Music is a micro-

cosm of life. We are built to do, built for action. Our human
bodies and minds atrophy if we don’t actually do things
with them. We have to move, work, learn, produce—to expe-
rience what it is to be in this physical body in this physical
world. That’s how we find meaning in life, how we express
what it is to be alive, and to become what we are meant to be.
“Of course, there’s the spiritual dimension as well. We
are here for a purpose. God put us here to do something. We
find our mission, experience our mission, fulfill our mission—
all by performing, that is, by doing.
So performance is not optional in
We find our
this life. It is life itself.”
mission,
Almost all the students were experience our
ready to play by this time. Even mission, fulfill
Lindsay’s resistance had been worn our mission—all
down by my long-windedness. by performing,
“Let’s play music.” that is, by doing.

Reflection
In the great Performance Cycle of Life, there would be no
cycle at all, in fact no life, if there was no performance.
We must do. It is the necessary third part of the creative
process: thought, word, action. We thought about the music
we wanted to create. We held the sound of it in our minds.
We spoke it—talked about the music as we were practic-
ing, what it should sound like, and how to get that sound.
Now we have to do it. Then we will create the music, and
22 | D ON A L D L EE

more importantly, we will create ourselves as the musicians

we imagined ourselves to be. Being is the ultimate step of
creation. We must think, speak, do—then we are. We must
experience what it is to be a musician. Then we are musicians.
Our purpose in life is to become musicians, metaphor-
ically. To constantly become that ever-changing vision of
our highest and best self. Life’s Performance Cycle can be
either a virtuous cycle or a vicious cycle, depending upon
what vision of ourselves—what state
of consciousness—we choose to cre- Life’s
ate th rough ou r thoughts, Performance
words, and deeds. Cycle can be
either a virtuous
Of course, our daily “perfor-
cycle or a vicious
mance” happens whether we want
cycle, depending
it to or not. We think, speak, and
upon what state
act at every moment, so we are con-
of consciousness
stantly creating our experience. The we choose to
real question is, are we consciously create through
creating ourselves from that vision our thoughts,
of our highest and best self, or is our words, and deeds.
daily experience simply an uncon-
scious reaction to everything in the world around us? It’s
far more satisfying to consciously create ourselves. Why
not give it a try, because either way, we have to perform.

Performance is the necessary third part of the creative

process. We constantly create ourselves—in our
thoughts, our words, our actions. Create your best self.
 PART 4: REFLECTION AND
REDIRECTION
An unexamined life is not worth living.
—SOCRATES
(5th-century B.C. Greek philosopher)

W e are at the last stage of Life’s Performance Cycle. We

prepared for a higher vision of our spiritual selves,
then practiced and performed being that grander vision.
Congratulations! You have made great strides. In this last
stage, we must think about what we have accomplished,
what we have gained, what we have become. Likely, we have
already made some changes to our plans in life. Perhaps
we have changed our spiritual outlook and our spiritual
goals. Some things have not worked out the way we planned.
Perhaps some plans ended in disaster. On the other hand,
perhaps some succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. Some of
the things we accomplished, we now realize, weren’t worth
the effort. They were unsatisfying. We have also stumbled
across other paths in life’s journey that look promising to
24 | D ON A L D L EE

us. We are excited to follow our new inspiration. All this

is perfectly normal.
Now it’s time for reflection and redirection—time to
think carefully about our experiences on this journey of
spiritual growth. Life is always a mixture of good and bad,
struggle and reward, anticipation and satisfaction, stress
and relief. The opposites are always necessary. Like life,
music is full of opposites: forte and piano, largo and presto,
crescendo and decrescendo, dissonance and consonance.
It’s almost impossible to understand the one without the
other. What does forte mean if it is the only dynamic?
Without piano, there really isn’t such a thing as forte. Reward
would be meaningless without the struggle. Satisfaction
wouldn’t exist if there was no anticipation. Love the struggle
because it makes the reward sweet. So as you reflect fully
on your experiences so far in life, remember—it’s all good,
even the bad.
The time to set a new goal is right after we achieve the
last goal. We had a peak performance. We’re on a moun-
taintop. We can’t wait until we have wandered back down
into the valley. Our view is not clear from down there. But
from the mountaintop, we can see greater peaks on the
horizon. We can get our bearings and see a clear path to
that next peak. We must set our sights afresh while we are
still at the summit.
Let’s debrief, then look at our new direction.
 PARABLE 4

The Concert Debrief

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
—JAMES JOYCE
(Irish novelist and poet)

“W hat did you think of our performance last night?

What went well? What went poorly?”
The classroom erupted into a cacophony of chaos
as everyone spoke at once. Each had a story to tell. This
missed note, that broken a reed, getting lost, losing music,
you-name-it.
“Whoa, whoa. How about we try it one at a time so we
can all learn from it? Maria, what were you saying?”
“My solo was going great until I let out that huge squeak”
Maria giggled. “Then Claudette started laughing and I just
couldn’t be serious.”
Everyone laughed. Cacophony again.
“Whoa. Control yourselves guys. I know it’s funny but
let’s try to have some order. So, in a group performance, each
one of us can have a big effect on the whole ensemble—for
good or for ill. We need to help each other stay focused on
the performance, not distract each other. We can’t fix a
mistake once it’s happened. We have to carry on and learn
to do better next time. Remember, we’re in this together.”
26 | D ON A L D L EE

I tried to draw a lesson out of the experience so we could

learn from the performance—not just laugh off our mistakes.
“James, it sounded like you had something interesting
to share. What was it?”
“Just as we were sitting down to play, I knocked my
clarinet into Alvira and broke my reed. It sounded terrible
and I could hardly make any sound at all.”
James’ voice had a mixture
of regret and pride. Sometimes We can’t fix a mistake
we are as proud of our screw- once it’s happened.
ups as we are of our successes.
We have to carry
on and learn to do
“What conclusion would
better next time.
you draw from this experience,
James?” I prodded.
“I guess I should have put my mouthpiece cap on like
you said to,” James replied sheepishly.
“Good idea, James,” I affirmed.
“Patrick, how did that tricky eighth-note passage work
out in Cantique de Noel?”
“I messed it up again,” Patrick complained.
“What do you think you could have done to make that
work better?”
“I don’t know. I practiced it lots of times but just couldn’t
get it right.” That was true. He never did play it correctly,
in spite of the advice I’d given him.
“Can anyone offer some help to Patrick about learning
tricky technical passages?” I was hoping someone would
remember. Waiting. Waiting. No one could think of it.
 Pa rt 4 : Ref lec t ion and Redir ec t ion | 27

“Does anyone remember me saying: ‘We perform the

way we practice.’?”
“Oh yeah,” a few voices murmured.
“To master difficult technical passages,” I said, “slow
down, take little bits at a time—even just a few notes, those
two or three notes where it goes over the break. Then gradu-
ally put longer parts together and increase the speed. If you
go too quickly and make mistakes, then you are program-
ming your mind to play it wrong. Perfect practice makes
perfect. So ‘slowly, slowly’ needs to be your mantra.”
I don’t know how much of the concert debrief sticks
to their slippery teenaged minds, but it’s a good habit
to develop.

Reflection
This last phase of Life’s Performance Cycle—reflection and
redirection—brings one iteration of the cycle to a close and
sets up the beginning of the next. That’s what the concert
debrief is for a band—a chance to reflect on the strengths and
weaknesses of a performance and figure out how to improve
for our next performance. In our spiritual growth, it’s more
of a constant process. Every moment is a performance—an
opportunity to experience life. And every moment presents
an opportunity to reflect. In a sense, all stages of Life’s
Performance Cycle happen instantaneously and constantly
in the ever-present “now”.
As James Joyce said, our mistakes are really portals of
discovery. Every experience is not only an opportunity to
28 | D ON A L D L EE

express who we strive to be, but also a portal through which

we see who we really are right now. Sometimes, the difference
between our ideal and our reality creates some cognitive
dissonance for us.
This is where we reflect and redirect. Why did we “slip”
away from our ideal performance of our highest and best
self? Did fear enter into our consciousness to displace love?
I cannot offer specific advice on the infinite possible “mis-
takes” we make, but here are some thoughts on the meta-
phors in this parable.
Our “mistakes” are ours. We must own them. Like Maria,
perhaps our friends or family pull us into old behavior hab-
its. Think of them as the stone that sharpens the knife. It’s
easy to be our best self around people who are loving and
supportive. But critical and aggressive people help us learn
to be strong in our love.
Maybe like James, we fell short because we didn’t do
what we already know to do. We have to actually do what
the Master has taught us.
Like Patrick, we need to practice Did fear
being our highest and best self in easy, enter into our
controlled situations before we throw consciousness
ourselves into a tough performance. It’s to displace
OK, though. We’ll get another chance. love?
There are no “throw-away” per-
formances in life. Every moment is a fresh and beautiful
opportunity to experience life—good and bad—and learn
from it. Only by learning from our experience can we avoid
 Pa rt 4 : Ref lec t ion and Redir ec t ion | 29

getting stuck on a spiritual merry-go-round, repeating

destructive patterns in our lives, and going nowhere on
our spiritual path.

Reflecting on our experiences allows us to learn, grow,

change, and move forward on our spiritual journey.
 PARABLE 5

Where Do You Go from Here?

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
—KHALIL GIBRAN
(Early 20th-century Lebanese-American writer, poet, and artist)

“T hat was beautiful,” I whispered.

The High School Band had just played through the
Pavane, Opus 50 by Gabriel Faure. It ends so delicately—a
series of quiet staccato notes finally landing on a sustained
pianissimo. I held out the last note, then gently released it,
paused for a moment while the whole universe was held in
suspended animation, then relaxed. The room was perfectly
silent. Exquisite.
Students now shuffled in their chairs, cleared their
throats, but didn’t speak. They felt it too.
“It is such a joy to conduct you guys. You’re beautiful.
I love all of you.”
The high school students were used to my “love
talk” by now.
“Our concert next week is going to be one of our best.
We have rehearsed and performed these pieces enough
that you can really bring out the music in them. And you
have such maturity in your playing. Musical maturity.
Emotional maturity.”
32 | D ON A L D L EE

There were nods and murmurs of agreement throughout

the band. Everyone was subdued after that heartfelt per-
formance of one of the most hauntingly beautiful pieces of
music in the world.
“But for some of you, this will be the last concert of
your high school life. Never again will you play in your
school band.”
Students looked at each other, and around the room.
There were seniors sprinkled in most sections of the band.
We had quite a few this year. In a couple of weeks, June
would be over, and with it, another school year. My High
School Band would be decimated. Next September would
be a very different group.
“This time of year always brings a mixture of nostalgia,
elation, regret, and a bit of fear. You seniors will be moving
on to a completely new phase of your lives. Maybe it’s col-
lege, maybe an apprenticeship, maybe traveling the world.
Exciting and challenging opportunities await you. Many of
you have been together since kindergarten. It’s almost hard
to imagine your life apart from all your classmates. But you
will never be together like this again. Everything changes.
Change is the only constant in life.
“All of you have some plans—some vision of who you
are going to now become, once June is over. I would love to
keep you seniors here another year. Don’t you want to come
back? You could have an easy grade 13 year. Take Phys Ed.
and cooking. Upgrade your marks. And play in Band. Who
wants to do that?” I said excitedly.
 Pa rt 4 : Ref lec t ion and Redir ec t ion | 33

There were no takers. The seniors just laughed. They

know it’s time to leave. Once the little birds can fly, it’s time
to leave the nest.
“I know. I can’t keep you here. Your time in high school
has come to an end and you must move on.
“You may think I have dwelt on this obvious progression
too long. But there is method in my madness. You see, all of
you understand this transition of
graduating from high school. But Everything changes.
life holds more transitions than Change is the only
you might expect. And I am about constant in life.
to make one myself. It is time
for me to move on in life also. I will be leaving Glenmary
School, and leaving the teaching profession, at the end of
this month.”
“Mr. Lee! Why are you quitting?” exclaimed Patty, aghast.
“It’s interesting that you put that way, Patty. The seniors
are graduating. That’s good. But I’m quitting? And that’s
bad? What a different perspective. You expect grade 12 stu-
dents to graduate and leave school. But you expect teachers
to remain teachers forever. You expect yourselves to change
and grow, but you expect adults to be unchanging. Just as
the seniors are ready to move on to new adventures, so am
I. I’m starting a new career. I’m going to be a writer.”
“What are you going to write?” asked Paul.
“I’m nearly done my first book. It’s a book of mod-
ern-day parables inspired by my teaching experience. Just
as the seniors have a new and greater vision of who they
34 | D ON A L D L EE

will become, so do I, and I must grow into that new vision

of who I am.”
I had pretty much lost them at that point—far too meta-
physical. But I certainly felt it was time for me to move on.
Perhaps, I had already “tarried with yesterday” too long.

Reflection
We can never remain as we are—frozen in time—at any age.
We will change whether we want to or not. Our bodies will
gradually wither and wear out. But we are not our bodies.
Our true nature is soul. Bodies are temporary, Souls are
eternal. Life—even the life of the soul—is change, develop-
ment, and growth. So, spiritual growth must be an eternal
process. We often think of heaven as a place where souls
sit around and do nothing for eternity. That would be hell!
Surely God has more in mind for us than that. Whatever
happens to our soul when our physical body dies, I’m sure
that our spiritual growth continues.
It’s almost time to begin the
next leg of your spiritual journey. Our souls are
You have prepared, practiced, and eternal, so spiritual
performed very well. Just like the growth must be an
High School Band, you master- eternal process.
fully bring out the music of who
you really are. In the great Performance Cycle of Life, you
must now envision an even greater version of who you
really are.
 Pa rt 4 : Ref lec t ion and Redir ec t ion | 35

What lies before us is an infinite number of potential-

ities, potential futures. Our choices decide our future—not
the stars, not our past, not our upbringing. It’s in our hands.
What will it be for you?

God is gently calling us to our next stage of

becoming. Listen to that still, small voice in
your heart and follow where it leads.
 CONCLUSION
God wants us to know that life is a series of
beginnings, not endings. Just as graduations
are not terminations, but commencements.
Creation is an ongoing process, and when we
create a perfect world where love and compassion
are shared by all, suffering will cease.
—BERNIE SIEGEL
(American surgeon and writer, author of “Love, Medicine, and Miracles)

O ne door closes and another door opens. We can only

go through one door at a time. My decision to leave
teaching and leave music filled me with dread, sadness, and
nostalgia. I felt I was leaving so much unfinished business.
But my heart was gently pulling me in a new direc-
tion—just like the seniors. But unlike them, it was not a
logical endpoint. My story as a band director had not come
to a conclusion—not even a climax. Partway through the
rising action, one story got dropped and a new one started.
So it seemed.
38 | D ON A L D L EE

Things are rarely as they seem. I had really simply slid

into my pinnacle career. All my experiences of six decades
were like handholds and footholds on the rock climb of
life. The route may appear indirect, but the path goes ever
upward. Music, teaching, public speaking, business, my life-
long spiritual quest—all merged onto the path of spiritual
authorpreneur. That’s me.
I hope you have enjoyed the stories in this book, and
drawn meaning from the metaphors. In Life’s Performance
Cycle—we plan, try, succeed and fail, then do it all again.
When we are conscious of the cycle, and use the cycle con-
sciously, we can always move forward on our life’s journey.
Be sure to consciously think about your spiritual journey.
That’s the one that matters most. We are indeed spirit, mind,
and body. This amazing human being that we are! What a
privilege it is to be human. Don’t neglect any part of your-
self. All parts of you are so beautiful. Let your beauty shine
forth in your world.

God Bless You!