Illicit Relationship, Cultural Deviation, Self-slaughter and Social Malady

**T. M. Aman Ulla

“The Bangalees do not share a common trait in terms of appearance; so in terms of mind.”
The Chinese or the Japanese and many other peoples across the world could hardly be
differentiated from one another in terms of outer look. In fact, most peoples especially in their
native lands across the world share a common characteristic either in terms of their skin
texture, nose structure, size, shape etc. or of several of these together. But what they still lack
in is a single common culture due to promoting a hybrid culture. It is only we the Bangalees
who hardly share a regular trait in physique. Whatever the reason behind this variety that
every one of us is unique from other is true. This gash of non-uniformity could, to some
extent, be compensated by the only factor that we speak a common language named Bangla
with an exception to some dialects used unofficially particularly by the mass people living
sporadically in rural and urban areas. But we have our long standing social values. We have
the festivals like ‘Pahela Baishakh’, ‘Bosonto Utsab’ that we attend to observe irrespective of
our religious beliefs, caste and creed, and of our social and economic statuses. But are we,
now-a-days, much aware of preserving and observing our traditional values which have long
been ensuring a sound and safe existence for us? Aren’t we fervently bent on importing and
embracing nasty western cultural elements many of which have already proved spiteful for
themselves in their own lands?

Marriage, for example, in our culture is both religiously and socially a holy institution. This
holy tie arranges not only for an adult man to embrace an adult woman for ever but also
paves the way for an extensive socialization-thus leading to a harmonious human existence in
society. The social interaction prompted through ceremonial functions aimed at this heavenly
bond has special significance in human life. It is only the nuptial tie that liberates us from the
gratuitous and unrestrained sexual behaviour. Moreover, the wedlock makes us responsible
for our family and society-thus helping us shun whimsical behaviuor. The consummation of a
marriage, as is often believed in most of the religions, incurs special grace of the Almighty.
Our culture, by no way, approves of either premarital or extramarital relationships.
Concubinage is not only utterly condemned in our society but also people involved in such a
detestable activity are ostracized. Matrimonial relationship between homogeneity is not
corroborated either in our culture.
But, now-a-days, we see an alarming rise in such obnoxious activities as involving in
extramarital relationship and living together without any socially and religiously or at least
customarily binding ties. As these relationships do not involve any ceremonial functions
(though done, sneakily in some cases) and having no social or religious recognition, the
people involved in such relationships are not properly committed to their relationships. If,
any way, misunderstanding develops, they tend to end up with their relationships without
presuming the consequences that may follow. Under this situation they can hardly select the
next course of action other than developing frustration, a sense of rejection that may
eventually lead them to take the ghastly decision of taking their lives on their own. And, of
course, the female counterparts are the worst victims in this case. This unsupportable activity
spoils peace in family and gives rise to social instability. A group of fanatical people become
encouraged to adopt violent means to put a stop to such acts as premarital or extramarital
relationships which they consider abominable and sinful, therefore, be condemned. Thus
militancy comes into being and rule of law collapses. In order to get rid of all these
prospective pitfalls, we must resist intrusion of fraudulent foreign cultural elements into ours.
Besides, we must foster those values and teachings in our life amid which we are grown up.

**The writer works as Probationary Officer at First Security Islami Bank Limited, Motijheel
Branch, Dhaka