Here we come a fighting , For RvP trophy dreams Joy and Wins come to you, unless your MJ then screw you And God bless you and send you to the play-ay-ay-ayoffs And God bless you and send you all the way! That’s right folks the clock as ticked over to December and it’s gonna be a December to Remember (brought to you by Lexus)! After working 31 of the last 41 hours I may be completely delirious, but dammit if I’m not gonna bring some pick-writing love to my loyal 4 readers. (No Chris, when you read this sometime in early January, I am not referring to you in that group). The picks went 5-2 last week, making me 49-35 on the season, good for one game ahead of Kyle for the lead. Rolando took the week 12 Pick’em with a solid 6-1, bravo! Last Week’s Heroic Moment of the Week goes to Ryan, who grabbed James Washington off the wire and inserted him into his starting lineup for 23.3 points in a dominating 201 point Week 12 performance! Last week’s Samwell Tarley Moment of the Week goes to Powell, who missed out on 28.5 from AJ Brown, nearly costing him his narrow victory over Kevin. Most playoff spots are decided, with just the final slot currently held by points leader Ryan being up for grabs if he were to falter. Without further adieu… on to the picks!
Crows Before Hoes vs. Game of Jones:
My playoff spot is locked in, while Jones needs a win and help to say the same. My red brother from another mother was so distracted by the holiday feast and his relentless efforts to slip one past Brienne’s goalie that he forgot to swap Julio Jones out of his Thanksgiving Day lineup. As a result I have a glimmer of hope in an otherwise brutal week matchup-wise for my fantasy squad. Look for the Crows Before Hoes squad to nab the W and an outside shot at a playoff bye! WinterIsHereBitches! vs. The Winning Hand: Rolando enters Week 13 on a 2 game winning streak as he desperately tries to claw his way into a playoff spot he’s more or less been robbed of up until this point. He faces off against the dreaded Knight King, who is coming off a morale killing loss in which he was the 2 nd highest scoring team in Week 12 and simultaneously suffered the biggest blowout of the week. Which of these teams’ luck will change this week? Deck the halls with Rolando’s banners Falalalalala, lala-la-la Tis the death of Knight-King Marti Falalalalala, lala-la-la The Winning Hand with the W!
(How Game of Thrones would have gone if not for the toilet shot heard round the world)
DaBears&MaidenFair vs. The Kingslayers:
Coming into week 12 I have picked Matt to lose on the season a grand total of 8 times, and he’s won 5 of those weeks. In this week’s first battle of brains (Matt Littlefinger) versus braun (Jamie Ryan Lannister), who will emerge victorious? Merry Christmas Matty – I’m picking you to looo-ooo-ooooseee The Kingslayers will be coming down the chimney – half past 3 Leaving me a good ol’ present – of Matt losing in fan-ta-sy! Boomroasted vs. VonHugen Balls : Despite being outscored handedly on the season by his opponents, Sir Kenny of irefusetoparticipateinthetheme is 6-6 and on the cusp of a playoff birth. Kenny is also my Makeup for Week 12 Character Announcement of the Week as none other than the notorious Ramsey Bolton. That’s right folks, nothing short of a total sadist would deny me the simple pleasures such as changing a team name to the theme or using capital letters, so Ramsey he shall be. And true to the show, Ramsey will fall in battle to a northern army! VonHugen Balls with the W!
The No Arm Raven vs. Not Today:
Despite the lowest total points against him for the 2019 season, Kevin has only managed to patch together 5 wins. With his playoffs hopes gone, he’s relegated to the role of spoiler, and spoil he can. A win over the Harcarian Hero could cost Chris that oh-so-important first round playoff bye. Kevin’s already off to a hot start, with season high performances from dudes like Anthony Miller, and Cole Beasley, but will it be enough? If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that when Arya comes to town – people die! Not Today with the W and a playoff bye! Mother of Dragon vs. Theons Missing Membr: With the lowest points total in the league and a grand total of 1-win on the season, Micah has his work cutout for him if he’s going to avoid his first last place finish ever. He faces off against a Jenna led team that has yet to string together two wins in a row all season, suffering from sporadic performances all across her squad. If there’s one thing Micah’s season long David Montgomery conundrum has taught me, it’s that no matter what choice he makes in fantasy this year, it will be the wrong choice. Mother of Dragon with her first winning streak of the season!
The Imp Pimp vs. Hodor:
In an odd twist of fate, my Week 13 Character Annoucnement of the Week is Scott as none other than the loveable sellsword Bronn! The twist of course, is that Bronn and Tyrion spent much of the Game of Thrones saga in a friendship/best buddies/weird employer-employee relationship. With neither team really having a realistic shot at the winner’s bracket, this is more about pride, and for Scott, avoiding the Sacko. Unfortunately in life, brains tend to beat bronn (get it?). The Imp Pimp with the W!