wp2 Track Changes PDF

Bianchi 1 Formatted: Font: Times New Roman, 12 pt
WP2 Cover Letter Final Revision

Nicholas Bianchi
nicholasbianchi@ucsb.edu
6525 El Colegio Rd
Goleta, CA
(999)999-9999
November 7December 9, 2019
Joshua Smith
Writing 2
525 Mesa Rd
Goleta, CA
HelloDear Mr. Smith,
I am writing this essay to you for the assignment Writing Project Two. I wrote Writing Project
Two on the discipline Chemistry because my chemistry because it was one of the classes I am
taking, that class has the most writing to analyze. of all my classes. I chose a random article that
soundedan article by searching the key words chemistry and various elements like it was a peer
reviewhelium and cesium to try and find a relatively interesting article that was actual research,
where the author was attempting to create new knowledge. The chemistry . I found a peer
reviewed article was very complex, and on the spectroscopy of an isotope of helium when it is
superfluid. I very remotelydidn’t understand its meaningthe article very well, but I can for the
assignment I just need to be able to identify the writing conventions of chemistry through the
article. The prompt for writing project two asks the writer to analyze an article from a discipline
and then reproduce the conventions found used in the article. So, inIn my essay I wrote two
paragraphs in the format of the chemistry article. I thought this part was , following the
paragraph format, diction and the use of visuals. This part of the essay was the most fun part of
the essay, and I really enjoyed, using the same diction, including the graphs, and equations and a
little descriptionto follow the format of the graphchemistry article. The most difficult part of the
essay for me was writing the thesis, because it’sit is the very beginning of the essay and, sets up
the rest of yourthe essay. I think writing a good thesis is very, and is crucial to the effectiveness
of in determining how effective the essay is. This time I wroteconstructed my thesis before
starting my papermy essay, in an attempt to make the essay more coherent and cohesive. I think
it helped but I should have gone ack and revised the thesis after writing the article, because I
thought it would help me structure my introductory paragraph around mythe thesis. could
become stronger after fine tuning it to what I wrote.
I revised my essay differently then I did my Writing Project. I I chose to do it the way we revised
ourrevise my Writing Project 2 different than my Writing Project 1. I followed the example of
proper revision from class. After revising my first paragraph in class.one sentence at a time I
found it very effective in class, so I did that for and decided to revise my whole essay that way. I
thinkbelieve this helped me revise each sentence to make it clearer andmy revision process
become more effective. I found revising thisthat I wanted to reword most of the sentences and
write them in a more cohesive and coherent way could be difficult when doing it . After revising
for a long periods of time, and I would start copying the sentences over without changing
anything. When I startedperiod of time I began copying sentences over, I would take word for
word and knew that it was time for a break and come back to revising my essay later. I found this
to be very effective because I felt like I was coming in fresh each time and could come up with
ideas each time. I found that my . My essay was also shorter by 20 or 30 words by the time I
rewrote the whole thing, I think this happenedessay. This was because I made things less
repetitivewas able to reduce repetition and make my sentences more concise. So that was a
difficult problem to solve. I had to figure outAt the end of the essay I had to find places to
include a few more sentences in order to reach the word count. This was an interesting problem
because I couldn’t just stick a way to make it a little bit longer, but I felt likesentence anywhere,
I had said everything I could.
I lookto maintain the coherence of my essay. I am looking forward to hearing your feedback on
my Writing Project 2. .
Sincerely,
Nick Bianchi Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
Pattern: Clear (White)
Nick Bianchi
Formatted: Line spacing: Double
Josh Smith
Writing 2
Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
7 November9 December 2019 Pattern: Clear (White)
Writing Project 2 RevisedFinal Revision
Abstract Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),

Chemistry is a complex, confusing, and challenging course. The discipline Chemistry as a Pattern: Clear (White)
discipline deals with the matter things are made of, how elements and their components, how Pattern: Clear (White)
they react with each other and ways to solve problems using theirthat knowledge. The discipline Pattern: Clear (White)
has a variety of writing forms, from including syllabi, to research papers, to peer reviewed
articles, and even word problems. Chemistry articles inform and explain using descriptive The Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
rhetorical situation of chemistry conventions, as well asarticles is to solve problems for humans Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
by researching and sharing their findings with each other in order to create new knowledge. Peer Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
reviewed articles in chemistry use descriptive words, graphs, charts, and equations as evidence. Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
The rhetorical situation is that chemists are trying to gain and share as much knowledge as
possible to solve problems. Articles Chemistry conventions include the use of this discipline Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
many descriptive words, graphs, charts, equations, endnotes, and headers. Chemistry articles can Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
be discerned form otherfrom articles thoughof different disciplines through the conventions, Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
structure, use of evidence, and references to previous research. In, and extremely detailed Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
descriptions of their experiments to allow their research to be repeated. I looked at two peer
reviewed articles into determine if they both contained the chemistry discipline utilized large
amountssame conventions, to make sure the article I was analyzing was not an outlier. I found
that both articles contained a great deal of evidence and, commentary to verify the results of their
research. Both articles were written by several authors on research that they conducted, both Pattern: Clear (White)
were complex in terms in chemistry, but it was easy to see the ways they were writing, what Pattern: Clear (White)
evidence they used and how they supported the evidence. Pattern: Clear (White)
The article I analyzed was written about the element of helium and how it solves a
problem or causes a problem, as suggested by the title, “Solvent States and Spectroscopy of
Doped Helium Clusters as a Quantum Chemistry like Problem”1. The purpose of the article was
to inform other people in this discourse community about the findings of their research. The
article seems to follow a chemistry specific format including endnotes, figures or graphs, and
equations. I compared the article I analyzed with another peer reviewed article within the
discipline of chemistry to determine if the conventions I was seeing were consistent in all
chemistry articles or if this one was an outlier. The other article used, graphs, charts, equations, Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
endnotes and similar conventions confirming that these were chemistry specific conventions. Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
Chemists also use descriptive words like further, rendered, implementations, and convergence to
help describe the process and results of their research to other chemists. The descriptive words
help describe exactly what is happening in the experiment, or to the element. Pair the descriptive
words with the extensive commentary to explain every step, in great detail, and the result is a
very long chemistry article. The article is very complex even without the chemistry specific
words, sentences like “in addition, the pairwise additive approximation was assumed for all the
interactions” are a perfect example1. Although the sentence used normal words that were not
specific to chemistry the sentence was still complex and hard to comprehend. In chemistry
graphs and charts are included in the articles and referred to as figures or Fig. 1. The figures
demonstrate what is happening in the experiment or illustrates the results of an experiment and
provide evidence for the article. The equations used in the research are put in the article as
evidence to show how specific numbers or results were obtained. The graphs, equations and
descriptive commentary allow for the experiment to be repeated by other members of the
discipline. A keystone in all writing for scientific experiments is to be extremely detailed in order
to allow your experiment to be repeated and tested by other members of the discipline, so they
can dispute or corroborate your workheaders, and a multitude of authors. Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),
1 Introduction
The purpose of writing in chemistry is to inform of findings, solve problems and propose
solutions. This is done using large explanatory descriptive words to exemplify the research and
its findings. Chemists utilize equations to express the process used to acquire the results
eingbeing illustrated in the article. Embedded within the article are figures used to give optical
representation of what is being described. These figures are graphs or charts with the intention of
aiding the understanding and visualization of what is being articulated in the article. Citations are
a number in the superscript of a sentence and then compiled at the end as an endnote.
2 Quantum Chemistry
The article I analyzed was written about the element helium and how it solves a problem or how
we can solve a problem it causes, as suggested by the title, “Solvent States and Spectroscopy of
Doped Helium Clusters as a Quantum Chemistry like Problem”.1 The purpose of this article was
in line with the purpose of Chemistry as a discipline, to inform other chemists of the findings of
their research in order to solve problems. The article follows the conventions of Chemistry
articles because it includes endnotes, figures or graphs, and equations. When compared with
other articles within the discipline it is apparent that this article is not an outlier but rather
following the usual conventions of chemistry articles. Large descriptive words like further,
rendered, implementations, and convergence were used in the article to help describe every detail
on how the experiment was done and what the results were. Pair the descriptive words with the
extensive commentary to explain every step in detail, and the result is a very long chemistry
article that allows the experiment to be repeated by other chemists.
3 Keystone
Sentences like “in addition, the pairwise additive approximation was assumed for all the
interactions” are complex and difficult to read even though they don’t contain any chemistry
specific words.1 Graphs and charts are referred to as figures or Fig. 1 in chemistry articles.
Fig. 1 Each figure demonstrates what is happening in the experiment. The figures are also used as
evidence for the article.
The equations used while the chemists conducted research are put in the article as evidence to
show how specific numbers or results were obtained, further adding to the repeatability of the
experiment. The graphs, equations and descriptive commentary allow for the experiment to be
repeated by other members of the discourse community. A keystone in all writing for scientific
experiments is to be extremely detailed in order to allow your experiment to be repeated and
tested. This repeating and testing by other members of the discipline is key because when other
scientists look at it they bring different knowledge, ideas, and opinions to the table, allowing for
the original ideas to be tested and improved until the ideas can become fact or are proven false.
4 The visual approach Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
The articles use of illustrative components enableslike graphs and charts allows the reader to Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
gatherget a better understanding of the contentresearch. One visual provided in the article I (White)
(White)
researched was a graph (see Fig. 1). Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
(White)
Fig. 1 The illustration above is just one of ten figures provided throughout the article. Each imagefigure Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
has a description underneath, describing exactly what. The descriptions serve the figure is, how to read Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
itpurpose of clarifying points about the figure, including the purpose of the figure, and what it does for the Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
article.how it relates to the experiment. The description is like the legend of the graph. The authors utilize Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
this graphutilizes the figures to either exemplify work done previously by other researchers or the data Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
these researchers found. help provide visual evidence for the research they are describing, and to help
make the research repeatable. Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
The article also includesuses thirteen equations as evidence to display howprove that the results Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
reachedthey acquired were valid. The additioninclusion of the equations also makes this (White)
(White)
experiment repeatable. allows other chemists to repeat and analyze the equations. The Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
repeatability of anthis experiment is crucial to its validity in the scientific community and the (White)
(White)
success of the ideas created in the article.
(White)
(White)

(White)
5 Predecessors work Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
(White)
Chemists must reference predecessors research inwork for their article to demonstrate (White)
(White)
appropriate literary practices for the discipline. The article I analyzed referencesbe successful. Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
Including preceding research several times to establishwork establishes ethos, background for (White)
(White)
their research and show they are a part of the discourse community. The references are subtle Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
and are only long enoughmeant to explaindescribe where they go the number or equation they Formatted: Default Paragraph Font, Font: +Body
(Calibri), 11 pt, Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by
use cameare using from, “Withinwithin this framework, Barletta et al. obtained the nuclear / Condensed by , Pattern: Clear (White)
Formatted: Font: Italic, Font color: Dark Gray, Not
orbitals by numerically…”…”.2. When the author references previous research,authors reference Expanded by / Condensed by
Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
preceding work they must explain very briefly what the experiment was, who conducted itthe Condensed by
experiment and what was found.hat the results were. This is a common themeanother convention Condensed by
of articles in the chemistry discipline. Chemists must also includeIt is like using figures to show Condensed by
the results of a reaction or what happens to the element or thing they are testing. Figures can be graphs Condensed by
or charts but must include a short explanation of what, explaining the figure is showing. Individuals Condensed by
in the chemistry community are able to discern between article that are part of their discipline and
Condensed by
other articles by looking for references to preceding research, figures, endnote citations, and Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
equations. Individuals of the chemistry community will also understand the content so they will not Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
have to look so deeply into the conventions usedits importance. Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
6 Conclusion Condensed by
Condensed by
Although chemistry is a very difficult, complicated, and complex, confusing, cruel subject, diving
Formatted ...
deeper into the way that chemists write allows us to better grasp what they are saying. We can see Formatted ...
Formatted ...
the discipline conventions, what evidence they use, and what their purpose is by analyzing the way
Formatted ...
they write. By ignoring the actual content and focusing on the words, evidence, and commentary, we
can understand the goals of the authors. The use of descriptive commentary, and evidence in the forms
of graphs and equations allows the author to explain the results of their experiments and what problem
it solves. Chemists share knowledge between members of the community to just bounce ideas off
each other and get feedback but also to create new knowledge.understand the article without the
appropriate knowledge. The goal of a chemistchemistry is to solve problems, this is even taught Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
even in the introductory texts of a general chemistry textbook. The textbook is talking about Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
solving word problems, but as an actual chemist you attempt to Chemists share knowledge and Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
bounce ideas off of each other to create new knowledge and solve problems, write. Individuals of Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
the chemistry community will be able to discern chemistry from other disciplines by analyzing
Condensed by
the way they write we can see the discipline conventions, evidence, and purpose. This is a very
useful skill that I have learned and as I am revising this essay for the second time, I am now
realizing the purpose of this assignment. It taught us to understand to the best of our ability some
form of writing even if we don’t understand the content. By analyzing this articles on your Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /
Condensed by
research and peers will read and critique your work. This sharing of information in the community
allows chemists to refine their research and share their knowledge with each other to benefit the
communityway of writing I gathered a better understanding of it and could tell you vaguely what
it is about. Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /

Condensed by
References Formatted: Left
1. Aguirre, Néstor F., Pablo Villarreal, Gerardo Delgado-Barrio, Alexander O.

Mitrushchenkov, and María Pilar De Lara-Castells. “Solvent States and Spectroscopy of
Doped Helium Clusters as a Quantum-Chemistry-like Problem.” Physical Chemistry
Chemical Physics 15, no. 25 (2013): 10126. https://pubs-rsc-
org.proxy.library.ucsb.edu:9443/en/content/articlelanding/2013/CP/c3cp50282a#!divAbst
ract
2. 41 P. Barletta , A. Fabrocini , A. Kievsky , J. Navarro and A. Polls , Phys. Rev. A, 2003, 68 ,
053205
2. Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear
(White)
Formatted: Normal, Line spacing: Double, No bullets
or numbering

wp2 Track Changes PDF

Enviado por

Dados do documento

Título original

Direitos autorais

Formatos disponíveis

Compartilhar este documento

Compartilhar ou incorporar documento

Opções de compartilhamento

Você considera este documento útil?

Este conteúdo é inapropriado?

Direitos autorais:

Formatos disponíveis

wp2 Track Changes PDF

Enviado por

Direitos autorais:

Formatos disponíveis

Bianchi 1 Formatted: Font: Times New Roman, 12 pt

WP2 Cover Letter Final Revision

November 7December 9, 2019

Abstract Formatted: Font color: Custom Color(RGB(73,73,73)),

article that allows the experiment to be repeated by other chemists.

evidence for the article.

experiments is to be extremely detailed in order to allow your experiment to be repeated and

Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Pattern: Clear

it is about. Formatted: Font color: Dark Gray, Not Expanded by /

References Formatted: Left

1. Aguirre, Néstor F., Pablo Villarreal, Gerardo Delgado-Barrio, Alexander O.

Você também pode gostar