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Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008
Page 1 of 15
An Overview of Sex Addiction
The media portray sex addiction as cool. The media are confessing their own ignorance. Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his sexual addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction. The movies and the media portray sex addicts as having fun. A sex addict compulsively tries to use sex to conceal his personal problems just as an alcoholic uses booze or a drug addict loses control over his life to drugs. Sexually addictive behavior, like any other addiction, delivers short-term thrills followed by long-term miseries. Getting a sex addiction stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life. How to overcome sexual addiction is explained in The Most Personal Addiction. Attn. Students, Researchers, Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com
You are not doomed to failure. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. Students. but they tried . The first obstacle is the decision not to try. . if you let it. Researchers. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. He doesn't believe he can. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort. Webmasters and everyone else. The real life stories and common sense. you can overcome sexual addiction. A good counselor can help you identify your past mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way. It applies to accomplishing anything. effective approach explained in The Most Personal Addiction will help you gain the knowledge and motivation you need to succeed. Don't let past failures defeat you. But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: "What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?" Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction: * Free will * Knowledge * Hard work.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 2 of 15 The First Obstacle to Overcoming Sexual Addiction The fear of failure is normal. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed. Learn from them. Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. good counseling can guide you to success. Attn. Don't give in to hopelessness. once your efforts are properly guided. This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success.and they failed. The answer to the fear of failure is to find a successful approach and persist. Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. Providing the effort is up to you. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes. It might have been only for a day. Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction. Use it to build motivation. If you're willing to make the effort. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Thank you. If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to. Now he's sick and tired of failing. Please obey fair use laws. especially if you've failed before at stopping. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it. your childhood or your environment.
The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 3 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com .
" * "You're uptight about sex. I'm not." * "It's not an addiction. The beginning interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will also expand your knowledge of what sexual addiction is. When the escape ends. It can't be an addiction if I like it." * "I have more sex drive than most people. Students. I do it to relieve stress. I'd never do what they do." * "All my friends do it.SexualControl. You're abnormal. Now the sex addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy." * "I'm normal.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 4 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Self Deception Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted. The Sexual Addiction Interview is designed to help you understand sex addiction and address some of the sexually addicted person's rationalizations. Overcoming sexual addiction correctly is discussed in The Most Personal Addiction. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Contact: http://www." Every one of these rationalizations can be overcome." * "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites. Please obey fair use laws. Attn. The pleasure is escapist oriented." * "I know guys who are sex addicts. Researchers. the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance. how it can be overcome and how sex addicts fool themselves. Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure. Webmasters and everyone else. All too often the sex addict decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction. Some of the rationalizations he uses are: * "I'm not addicted. Thank you." * "It gives me pleasure.com . It's a way of having fun.
compulsive use of porn. These interviews are designed to help the most defensive sex addict realize what sex addiction is and how it's affecting him and you. a fetish. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior.SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 5 of 15 Someone Close To You Is Addicted To Sex If you know it but he doesn't want to admit it. * Give him credit for his successes.com . don't give up. If you realize that your partner is addicted to sex either through addictive masturbation. Contact: http://www. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is. Others take time. Attn. There's a special section on how to save a relationship threatened by sexual addiction. Thank you. * Download the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem. here's what to do: Start by getting him to take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the first interview in The Most Personal Addiction. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted. is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop? Let's answer these questions one by one. The job of overcoming the addiction is his. but he doesn't want to accept it. phone sex or infidelity. You can get through to him You know that your husband or boyfriend has a sex addiction. Researchers. Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction: * Don't take on his burden. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly. not yours. Students. He caused it. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Webmasters and everyone else. * Be realistic. * Don't take the blame for his sex addiction. Please obey fair use laws.
The Most Personal Addiction goes into much greater detail about how a porn addiction is overcome.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 6 of 15 Pornography Addiction Insights For Men and Women Porn enhances a masturbation addiction." If the real addiction were porn. Ask you partner. if the addiction is approached correctly. It is usually associated with a masturbation addiction. such as promiscuity. Other sexual addictions. . he faces a different challenge because pornography addiction becomes his sex life. he'd still be using it even after he finished masturbating. phone sex. The sexual charge is generated through masturbation. There are articles on this site about masturbation addiction. Here's another question which will shed light on the real addiction. The sexual charge that seems to be in porn is not the porn. if the pornography addiction is approached correctly. Even in these situations. pornography might seem to be the addiction. From a partner's point of view. There are very. Other will masturbate continuously while looking at pornography. very few sexually addicted people who use porn without masturbating. though. the addiction can be overcome and the relationship can be saved. there are millions of sex addicts who have no interest in porn. A pornography addiction cannot be overcome in the long run without dealing with the underlying masturbation addiction. the interest in porn fades away. Contrary to what you are told by the media. Webmasters and everyone else. do you continue looking at porn?" Expect the answer to be "No. In the most extreme cases. Thank you. fetishes. the sexually addicted person prefers sex through pornography addiction instead of loving sex with a real person. "After you finish masturbating. You need to read them if you're partner seems to have a pornography addiction. function independently from porn. If the masturbation addiction is overcome CORRECTLY. Pornography is not like any other sexual addiction. Pornography used in conjunction with addictive masturbation gives the sexually addicted person the illusion that fantasy can be more satisfying than a real relationship. If you want to know what the real addiction is. anonymous sex. If the sexually addicted person is not in a relationship. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. the association will be briefly explained in this article. and voyeurism. Attn. Researchers. ask your partner if he masturbates when he use porn. Some men will spend a whole night looking for the "perfect" image to masturbate to. If you want to understand why a man gets addicted to porn learn about the connection between addictive masturbation and pornography. Please obey fair use laws. The situation is far from hopeless. Students.
com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 7 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.
To begin successfully overcoming sex addiction. Someone struggling with a shoe fetish will be given the same 12 steps as someone addicted to pornography.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 8 of 15 The Complexities of Sexual Addiction Sex addiction is the most personal addiction. hard liquor. A promiscuous person does not have the same addiction as the virgin sex addict. The husband cheating on his wife is not in the same boat as the voyeur. others prefer beer. The other sexual addictions can be categorized as either addictive sex alone or with someone else. His or her entire sexual experience has been only with themselves through masturbation and/or porn addiction. They use an "every addiction is the same" approach. Promiscuity and infidelity fall into the category of addictive sex with someone else. others will drink anything. Successfully overcoming any problem begins with knowing what you're dealing with. licensed therapy and the 12-step program don't distinguish between the different forms of sexual addiction. we can see that an "every addiction is the same" approach does not apply to sexual addiction. apply this easily observable fact: All sexually addictive behavior falls into two categories: * Addictive sex alone * Addictive sex with someone else The most common forms of addictive sex alone are masturbation addiction and/or pornography addiction. is diverse. Conventional. For instance. The husband cheating on his wife will be advised to use the same behavior modification techniques as the sexually addicted person who's never had a long-term relationship. or any other form of alcohol. Are you aware that there are virgin sex addicts? A virgin sex addict is an adult who never had sex with another person. Certain addictions don't need to be categorized. Besides identifying . From these simple examples. Many sexually addicted people have sexual addictions in both categories. some alcoholics prefer wine. It's ridiculous to give a virgin sex addict the same treatment as the person who's been promiscuous all their lives. An obsession with a fetish is not the same problem as a porn addiction. Sex addiction. unlike alcohol. It's also the most complex. These activities don't need to be categorized for the alcoholic because there is no addictive difference between beer. wine.
Webmasters and everyone else. For more in-depth discussions of * Pornography addiction * How and why men get addicted to porn * Masturbation addiction * Promiscuity and infidelity * Fetishes * Phone sex * Other sexual addictions Use: * The Most Personal Addiction. or both will help you control your sexual addiction because it will help you understand it better.SexualControl. or with someone else. Researchers. So here are some resources to help you further: * The general sexual addiction interview * A sex addiction interview for the man in a relationship * For the person who has never had a successful relationship * How to tell if your partner is sexually addicted. But identifying a problem does not end it.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 9 of 15 which category the addiction resides in. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.com . A couple trying to hold their relationship together while struggling with a sexual addiction requires a very different approach than the sexually addicted person who is not in a relationship. Understanding if you are engaging in addictive sex alone. Students. Please obey fair use laws. Contact: http://www. you also need to take into account if the addicted person is in a relationship. * Advice About Sex Addiction Attn. Thank you.
The majority of sexually addicted people seek a long-term committed relationship. she will usually suffer more than he will because she might feel that she has to compete against his sexual compulsion. * Those who have a sexual addiction that conflicts with their genuine. Please obey fair use laws. the sexually addicted person doesn't even realize that his sexual addiction is creating emotional barriers between him and his partner. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Students. Researchers. Characteristically. In some cases. loving relationship. The addiction can be overcome and the couple can build the marriage they had expected to have. Relationships don't have to end because of sex addiction. in most cases she will stay until the bitter end trying to save her relationship. The partner usually doesn't discover her man is sexualy addicted until after she's committed herself to him. Attn. When the partner discovers that her man is sexually addicted. he doesn't realize it until he loses the relationship. this type of sex addict doesn't get into long-term relationships. If you are not sure your sexual activity is addictive or if you want to learn how it affects your relationship. If you are the partner of a sexually addicted person or you are not sure if your partner is sexually addicted. But their sexual addiction creates an impersonal barrier between the relationship they want to develop and the addictive fantasy life they're obsessed with. Yet. S/he does not represent most sexually addicted people. Millions of sexually addicted people have lost good relationships and their loving families because they did not overcome their addiction. Webmasters and everyone else. there is a special interview in The Most Personal Addiction for partners of sexually addicted people. Usually. take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the interviews in The Most Personal Addiction. . She also might feel that her relationship is hopelessly lost to sexual addiction. The person whose relationships are defined by sexual addiction uses people for an addictive fix. The partner of a sexually addicted person experiences emotional and/or sexual neglect.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 10 of 15 Effects of Sex Addiction on The Partner When it comes to relationships. They are serious about commitment. sexually addicted people can be classified into two major groups: * Those who seek relationships to satisfy their addiction. Thank you.
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Researchers. or loss of savings are some of the other consequences of sexual addiction. Money can buy plenty. Losing your job. But you can't buy your way into love and you can't buy your way out of addiction. avoid intimacy and still make lots of money." Another way of expressing this sentiment is. Another high price is finding yourself trapped in a world of emotional isolation. There is an old saying. Those sexually addicted people who spend money on their addiction usually don't realize how much they're spending. "The smallest personal consequence is money.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 12 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues Sexual addiction is not free.SexualControl." The real riches in life are gained through intimacy and effectively dealing with reality. Thank you. The Sex Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction offer more advice about the personal and financial aspects of sexual addiction. Every addicted person deludes him or herself about the real costs of their addiction. They're the lesser ones compared to the loss of genuine loving intimacy. Everything has a price. Students. You can escape reality. Attn. Webmasters and everyone else. Even the person with a porn addiction who gets his porn for free on the Internet pays for his addiction by investing his valuable time and precious effort into fantasy. sinking into bankruptcy. But money can't buy you love. Sometimes the loss of money is the least painful price. "The best things in life are free. The worst price paid for sexual addiction is loss of an intimate relationship. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.com . They don't want to look at the financial costs because adding up how much they've spent can ruin the fantasy. Contact: http://www. The toll that sexual addiction takes on a relationship and the emotional isolation it causes cannot be healed by money. being sued. Please obey fair use laws. A sex addict can invest hours surfing the Internet and not even realize he's lost an entire evening to sex addiction until the sun comes up to remind him that there is a life outside of fantasy.
some people who engage in meaningless sex have only one partner." The unfaithful person needs to go beyond just sex addiction. people were just different flavors to be sampled and discarded. "I don't want to be stuck with just one flavor of ice cream. By comparison. (Note: if the infidelity involves an emotional affair based on a real connection. The promiscuous person doesn't even make the effort to create any kind of loyal relationship. Some people take a warm bath for relaxation and enjoyment. Infidelity. Genuine loving sex requires commitment and emotional vulnerability.) What makes infidelity worse than promiscuity or meaningless sex with one person is the lying and dishonesty that accompanies the unfaithful acts. The promiscuous person and the person who has meaningless sex with only one partner share a common trait. but they are not emotionally committed to the partner. take a walk. As one promiscuous person told me. The difference between meaningless sex and loving sex is the difference between addiction and intimacy Meaningless sex releases a person from emotional vulnerability. or spend time with friends. Infidelity occurs when someone in a committed relationship is unfaithful to his or her partner. The partner is a human sex toy. "The lying and betrayal hurt more than the unfaithful sex." He wasn't kidding. Helping the promiscuous person overcome his or her sexual addiction is more difficult than helping the person who engages in meaningless sex but is not promiscuous. it might not be addictive behavior. In the context of sexual addiction. listen to music. Ask any person who's been victimized by infidelity and they will tell you. people are interchangeable bodies. The person might be completely faithful to his or her partner. or any other non-intimate activity. They are both attempting to avoid intimacy. He or she needs to deal with honesty issues also. The path to overcoming sex addiction for both persons is traveled by opening oneself up to the need for intimacy. To him or her. and Meaningless Sex A promiscuous person has meaningless sexual encounters with numerous people. For the person with one meaningless sex partner.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 13 of 15 Promiscuity. Some people read a book. the unfaithful person might be promiscuous or might be unfaithful with only one person. . sex is just another form of taking a warm bath. To him. But the underlying emotions behind the unfaithful activity are the same: sex without intimacy or emotional involvement.
Download or print the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. Students. Contact: http://www. Webmasters and everyone else.SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 14 of 15 The Most Personal Addiction discusses honesty issues and other factors necessary for overcoming sexual addiction. Please obey fair use laws. Attn. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.com . Researchers. For a more in-depth discussion about these sex addictions. Thank you.
Attn. most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted. not a person. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other. If no other person is involved. there are many different forms of sexual addiction. A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object. the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Unfortunately. Through this form of sexual addiction. With help.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 15 of 15 Types of sex addiction Unlike alcoholism. any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. it is in the category of addictive sex alone. Please obey fair use laws. Students. Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies.com . Researchers. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation. Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. Contact: http://www. However. Thank you. Webmasters and everyone else. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity. Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else.SexualControl. Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will give you more insights regarding the underlying causes of these and other sexual addictions. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else. the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life.
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