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Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008
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An Overview of Sex Addiction
The media portray sex addiction as cool. The media are confessing their own ignorance. Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his sexual addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction. The movies and the media portray sex addicts as having fun. A sex addict compulsively tries to use sex to conceal his personal problems just as an alcoholic uses booze or a drug addict loses control over his life to drugs. Sexually addictive behavior, like any other addiction, delivers short-term thrills followed by long-term miseries. Getting a sex addiction stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life. How to overcome sexual addiction is explained in The Most Personal Addiction. Attn. Students, Researchers, Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com
This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success. Attn. Thank you. once your efforts are properly guided. But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: "What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?" Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction: * Free will * Knowledge * Hard work. . A good counselor can help you identify your past mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way.and they failed. Providing the effort is up to you. Now he's sick and tired of failing. Students. Please obey fair use laws. The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes. you can overcome sexual addiction. effective approach explained in The Most Personal Addiction will help you gain the knowledge and motivation you need to succeed. The answer to the fear of failure is to find a successful approach and persist. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. Use it to build motivation. You are not doomed to failure. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort. The real life stories and common sense. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. Don't let past failures defeat you. Researchers. especially if you've failed before at stopping. good counseling can guide you to success.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 2 of 15 The First Obstacle to Overcoming Sexual Addiction The fear of failure is normal. It might have been only for a day. Learn from them. Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. Webmasters and everyone else. the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed. your childhood or your environment. if you let it. but they tried . It applies to accomplishing anything. Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. He doesn't believe he can. If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. If you're willing to make the effort. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. Don't give in to hopelessness. Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop.
SexualControl.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 3 of 15 Contact: http://www.
" * "You're uptight about sex. the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance. The Sexual Addiction Interview is designed to help you understand sex addiction and address some of the sexually addicted person's rationalizations. how it can be overcome and how sex addicts fool themselves. All too often the sex addict decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction. Now the sex addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy. Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure. I do it to relieve stress. You're abnormal." * "I know guys who are sex addicts. Contact: http://www." Every one of these rationalizations can be overcome. Please obey fair use laws. It can't be an addiction if I like it. Overcoming sexual addiction correctly is discussed in The Most Personal Addiction. When the escape ends." * "It gives me pleasure. The pleasure is escapist oriented. It's a way of having fun. Researchers.com . Thank you. Webmasters and everyone else. Students. The beginning interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will also expand your knowledge of what sexual addiction is. Some of the rationalizations he uses are: * "I'm not addicted." * "All my friends do it. I'd never do what they do. I'm not." * "It's not an addiction." * "I have more sex drive than most people." * "I'm normal. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Attn." * "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites.SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 4 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Self Deception Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted.
Thank you. is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop? Let's answer these questions one by one. compulsive use of porn. but he doesn't want to accept it. * Download the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. a fetish. If you realize that your partner is addicted to sex either through addictive masturbation. The job of overcoming the addiction is his. * Don't take the blame for his sex addiction. Attn.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 5 of 15 Someone Close To You Is Addicted To Sex If you know it but he doesn't want to admit it. Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction: * Don't take on his burden. He caused it. Students. what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is. You can get through to him You know that your husband or boyfriend has a sex addiction. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Others take time. don't give up. Contact: http://www. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted. Researchers. There's a special section on how to save a relationship threatened by sexual addiction. Please obey fair use laws. Webmasters and everyone else. * Give him credit for his successes. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly.SexualControl.com . * Be realistic. phone sex or infidelity. not yours. These interviews are designed to help the most defensive sex addict realize what sex addiction is and how it's affecting him and you. here's what to do: Start by getting him to take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the first interview in The Most Personal Addiction.
such as promiscuity. You need to read them if you're partner seems to have a pornography addiction. fetishes." If the real addiction were porn. pornography might seem to be the addiction. In the most extreme cases. very few sexually addicted people who use porn without masturbating. "After you finish masturbating. Attn. Other sexual addictions. if the pornography addiction is approached correctly. . though.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 6 of 15 Pornography Addiction Insights For Men and Women Porn enhances a masturbation addiction. Even in these situations. the sexually addicted person prefers sex through pornography addiction instead of loving sex with a real person. The situation is far from hopeless. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Researchers. ask your partner if he masturbates when he use porn. There are very. the addiction can be overcome and the relationship can be saved. he'd still be using it even after he finished masturbating. function independently from porn. There are articles on this site about masturbation addiction. Other will masturbate continuously while looking at pornography. the interest in porn fades away. The Most Personal Addiction goes into much greater detail about how a porn addiction is overcome. If the masturbation addiction is overcome CORRECTLY. Ask you partner. Pornography is not like any other sexual addiction. do you continue looking at porn?" Expect the answer to be "No. It is usually associated with a masturbation addiction. From a partner's point of view. A pornography addiction cannot be overcome in the long run without dealing with the underlying masturbation addiction. anonymous sex. he faces a different challenge because pornography addiction becomes his sex life. The sexual charge that seems to be in porn is not the porn. Contrary to what you are told by the media. If you want to understand why a man gets addicted to porn learn about the connection between addictive masturbation and pornography. Some men will spend a whole night looking for the "perfect" image to masturbate to. if the addiction is approached correctly. If you want to know what the real addiction is. Pornography used in conjunction with addictive masturbation gives the sexually addicted person the illusion that fantasy can be more satisfying than a real relationship. phone sex. Webmasters and everyone else. Please obey fair use laws. Students. Thank you. If the sexually addicted person is not in a relationship. the association will be briefly explained in this article. The sexual charge is generated through masturbation. and voyeurism. there are millions of sex addicts who have no interest in porn. Here's another question which will shed light on the real addiction.
The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 7 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com .
Successfully overcoming any problem begins with knowing what you're dealing with. It's ridiculous to give a virgin sex addict the same treatment as the person who's been promiscuous all their lives. His or her entire sexual experience has been only with themselves through masturbation and/or porn addiction. Someone struggling with a shoe fetish will be given the same 12 steps as someone addicted to pornography. The husband cheating on his wife will be advised to use the same behavior modification techniques as the sexually addicted person who's never had a long-term relationship. A promiscuous person does not have the same addiction as the virgin sex addict. hard liquor. From these simple examples. unlike alcohol. These activities don't need to be categorized for the alcoholic because there is no addictive difference between beer. licensed therapy and the 12-step program don't distinguish between the different forms of sexual addiction. Promiscuity and infidelity fall into the category of addictive sex with someone else. Are you aware that there are virgin sex addicts? A virgin sex addict is an adult who never had sex with another person. we can see that an "every addiction is the same" approach does not apply to sexual addiction. wine. some alcoholics prefer wine. An obsession with a fetish is not the same problem as a porn addiction. The husband cheating on his wife is not in the same boat as the voyeur. others prefer beer. The other sexual addictions can be categorized as either addictive sex alone or with someone else. or any other form of alcohol. For instance. They use an "every addiction is the same" approach. Many sexually addicted people have sexual addictions in both categories. Sex addiction. Besides identifying . Certain addictions don't need to be categorized. Conventional. apply this easily observable fact: All sexually addictive behavior falls into two categories: * Addictive sex alone * Addictive sex with someone else The most common forms of addictive sex alone are masturbation addiction and/or pornography addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 8 of 15 The Complexities of Sexual Addiction Sex addiction is the most personal addiction. others will drink anything. It's also the most complex. is diverse. To begin successfully overcoming sex addiction.
This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. you also need to take into account if the addicted person is in a relationship. or with someone else. Researchers. * Advice About Sex Addiction Attn. Webmasters and everyone else. or both will help you control your sexual addiction because it will help you understand it better.com . Understanding if you are engaging in addictive sex alone. A couple trying to hold their relationship together while struggling with a sexual addiction requires a very different approach than the sexually addicted person who is not in a relationship. So here are some resources to help you further: * The general sexual addiction interview * A sex addiction interview for the man in a relationship * For the person who has never had a successful relationship * How to tell if your partner is sexually addicted. But identifying a problem does not end it. Students. For more in-depth discussions of * Pornography addiction * How and why men get addicted to porn * Masturbation addiction * Promiscuity and infidelity * Fetishes * Phone sex * Other sexual addictions Use: * The Most Personal Addiction. Thank you.SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 9 of 15 which category the addiction resides in. Please obey fair use laws. Contact: http://www.
the sexually addicted person doesn't even realize that his sexual addiction is creating emotional barriers between him and his partner. The partner of a sexually addicted person experiences emotional and/or sexual neglect. Webmasters and everyone else. Millions of sexually addicted people have lost good relationships and their loving families because they did not overcome their addiction. In some cases. he doesn't realize it until he loses the relationship. loving relationship. The partner usually doesn't discover her man is sexualy addicted until after she's committed herself to him. The person whose relationships are defined by sexual addiction uses people for an addictive fix. If you are the partner of a sexually addicted person or you are not sure if your partner is sexually addicted. sexually addicted people can be classified into two major groups: * Those who seek relationships to satisfy their addiction. .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 10 of 15 Effects of Sex Addiction on The Partner When it comes to relationships. They are serious about commitment. this type of sex addict doesn't get into long-term relationships. she will usually suffer more than he will because she might feel that she has to compete against his sexual compulsion. The addiction can be overcome and the couple can build the marriage they had expected to have. When the partner discovers that her man is sexually addicted. in most cases she will stay until the bitter end trying to save her relationship. Students. Please obey fair use laws. The majority of sexually addicted people seek a long-term committed relationship. Usually. Yet. If you are not sure your sexual activity is addictive or if you want to learn how it affects your relationship. Attn. Relationships don't have to end because of sex addiction. But their sexual addiction creates an impersonal barrier between the relationship they want to develop and the addictive fantasy life they're obsessed with. take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the interviews in The Most Personal Addiction. Thank you. there is a special interview in The Most Personal Addiction for partners of sexually addicted people. Characteristically. S/he does not represent most sexually addicted people. She also might feel that her relationship is hopelessly lost to sexual addiction. * Those who have a sexual addiction that conflicts with their genuine. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Researchers.
com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 11 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.
Another high price is finding yourself trapped in a world of emotional isolation. But you can't buy your way into love and you can't buy your way out of addiction. The toll that sexual addiction takes on a relationship and the emotional isolation it causes cannot be healed by money.com . Everything has a price. They don't want to look at the financial costs because adding up how much they've spent can ruin the fantasy. or loss of savings are some of the other consequences of sexual addiction. "The best things in life are free. Those sexually addicted people who spend money on their addiction usually don't realize how much they're spending. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Attn.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 12 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues Sexual addiction is not free. The worst price paid for sexual addiction is loss of an intimate relationship. Thank you. They're the lesser ones compared to the loss of genuine loving intimacy. Researchers. There is an old saying. "The smallest personal consequence is money. avoid intimacy and still make lots of money. Contact: http://www. being sued. Students.SexualControl. Money can buy plenty. Losing your job. The Sex Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction offer more advice about the personal and financial aspects of sexual addiction." The real riches in life are gained through intimacy and effectively dealing with reality." Another way of expressing this sentiment is. Even the person with a porn addiction who gets his porn for free on the Internet pays for his addiction by investing his valuable time and precious effort into fantasy. But money can't buy you love. Every addicted person deludes him or herself about the real costs of their addiction. sinking into bankruptcy. Sometimes the loss of money is the least painful price. Webmasters and everyone else. You can escape reality. Please obey fair use laws. A sex addict can invest hours surfing the Internet and not even realize he's lost an entire evening to sex addiction until the sun comes up to remind him that there is a life outside of fantasy.
Infidelity. people are interchangeable bodies. The difference between meaningless sex and loving sex is the difference between addiction and intimacy Meaningless sex releases a person from emotional vulnerability. Genuine loving sex requires commitment and emotional vulnerability." He wasn't kidding. Ask any person who's been victimized by infidelity and they will tell you. . it might not be addictive behavior. The partner is a human sex toy. To him or her. Some people take a warm bath for relaxation and enjoyment.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 13 of 15 Promiscuity. (Note: if the infidelity involves an emotional affair based on a real connection. The promiscuous person doesn't even make the effort to create any kind of loyal relationship. As one promiscuous person told me. or any other non-intimate activity." The unfaithful person needs to go beyond just sex addiction. They are both attempting to avoid intimacy. listen to music.) What makes infidelity worse than promiscuity or meaningless sex with one person is the lying and dishonesty that accompanies the unfaithful acts. some people who engage in meaningless sex have only one partner. Infidelity occurs when someone in a committed relationship is unfaithful to his or her partner. For the person with one meaningless sex partner. To him. "The lying and betrayal hurt more than the unfaithful sex. the unfaithful person might be promiscuous or might be unfaithful with only one person. Helping the promiscuous person overcome his or her sexual addiction is more difficult than helping the person who engages in meaningless sex but is not promiscuous. But the underlying emotions behind the unfaithful activity are the same: sex without intimacy or emotional involvement. The promiscuous person and the person who has meaningless sex with only one partner share a common trait. and Meaningless Sex A promiscuous person has meaningless sexual encounters with numerous people. Some people read a book. In the context of sexual addiction. but they are not emotionally committed to the partner. or spend time with friends. take a walk. people were just different flavors to be sampled and discarded. By comparison. The person might be completely faithful to his or her partner. He or she needs to deal with honesty issues also. "I don't want to be stuck with just one flavor of ice cream. sex is just another form of taking a warm bath. The path to overcoming sex addiction for both persons is traveled by opening oneself up to the need for intimacy.
Download or print the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. Contact: http://www. For a more in-depth discussion about these sex addictions. Researchers. Please obey fair use laws.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 14 of 15 The Most Personal Addiction discusses honesty issues and other factors necessary for overcoming sexual addiction. Students. Webmasters and everyone else. Attn.com . Thank you. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.SexualControl.
com . there are many different forms of sexual addiction. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else. Webmasters and everyone else. Students. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation. Researchers. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. Contact: http://www. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other. Thank you. Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies. And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. Attn. A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will give you more insights regarding the underlying causes of these and other sexual addictions. most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else. the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity. With help.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 15 of 15 Types of sex addiction Unlike alcoholism. Please obey fair use laws. However. not a person. his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. Unfortunately. Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. it is in the category of addictive sex alone. Through this form of sexual addiction. If no other person is involved.SexualControl. the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone.