Men and Women Responses 1

Relationship:

Men and Women Responses

Sheldon McKenzie ID # 0904479

Brandon Cowan ID # 0907991

Luther king Ferguson ID # 0600500

Mara Zocco ID # 1007527

Human and Sexual Behavior

Professor: Audrey-Ricketts

December 7, 2010
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Introduction:

Our project is primarily investigating relationships: how people end their relationships

and why, as well as what types of qualities one looks for in a partner. This topic came up as a

result of a discussion that we were having as a group, where King made the bold claim that girls

tend to break-up more easily than boys do. I (Mara) disagreed, so our project sought out to find

the answer to that question and further explore the considerations a man or a woman has before

breaking up with their partner and what sorts of qualities that men and women look for in a

particular individual.

The main goal was to see what sort of responses men and women gave, and compare the

responses that the men gave to the women. Are there any sort of common trends between the

men in their answers and any sort of common trends in the answers that the women gave? If so,

then, is there some kind of common experience or bases that would result in gendered responses?

We decided to mainly stick to a dialogue or conversation-based methodology because we

believed that we would receive fuller, more elaborate responses. Handing out a questionnaire

with multiple choice answers would have limited the kinds of responses we would get; it would

be much more revealing to have the respondents interpret the question themselves and give the

sort of answer that they believed based off that interpretation. We tried to include a variety of

people in our study. We asked students around Utech’s campus, Nannyville, and Trench Town to

participate in this study.

Research:

The evidence was overwhelming that women break-up more easily than men, as shown

by Table 1. Several reasons were brought forth by those we interviewed. One reason brought

forth by Karen in Nannyville is that she really can’t deal with infidelity. This goes along with
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what Duckman in Nannyville said that he never really breaks-up with a girl, but he just lets the

relationship fade away while maintaining the link. This implies that men maintain multiple

women at the same time and after a certain point the woman discovers this and ends her

relationship with that man. The men in Nannyville and UTech also mentioned that women were

more emotional, that they become jealous too easily, assuming that their men are cheating on

them. Kadian Gordon in Trench Town also mentioned the issue of money. She said that if she

goes out with a man and has to reach in her purse to pay or help pay the bill, it puts doubts in her

mind. She begins worrying about the future, wondering how this man is going to be able to take

care of her.

Our research supports that Kadian is not alone in this perspective. The second question

we asked was who should pay the bill when a man and a woman go out. A majority of those we

interviewed mentioned that it is expected that the man pay, see Table 2. For example, Karen in

Nannyville burst out “That’s easy!” when we asked the question, saying that is was “mandatory

for a man to pay the bill.” Naturally the men over in Nannyville were annoyed and complained

about this expectation of them. Sebastian expressed that he wished that for just once when he

took a girl that she would pay the bill, and he’d still be able to return home with the same amount

of money in his pocket that he left with.

The third question we asked was what they considered before breaking up with someone.

A girl from UTech said that she weighs the good with the bad, and if the bad outweighs the

good, she ends the relationship. A majority of those we interviewed said that if the relationship

has lasted for a long time, like five years or so, then it will take a lot to end the relationship, for

so much has been invested in it already. Across the board men and women mentioned that if

children are involved, then the child’s interests are put first, when considering breaking-up with
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that person. Many of the girls in Trench Town mentioned that money is an important factor in

their relationship. They were saying that they were not very interested in a long-term relationship

with men who don’t have any money. They are already coming from a state of poverty and so

they are looking for someone who has a little bit more than they have, so they can be taken care

of. Many of the men in Nannyville expressed this frustration, remarking that if you don’t have

money none of the girls in the area want to talk to you. In contrast, many of the women

interviewed in uptown at UTech did not mention money as a factor. Many men expressed

concern that if they do break-up with someone, they worry about when they are going to have

sex again, while girls were not so concerned because they said that they could find a partner to

have sex with easily again.

The fourth and final question we asked was what sort of qualities one looks for in the

other partner. Many of the men we interviewed expressed that the woman must look good, listing

of desirable physical features: long hair, nice smile, nice figure, etc. Vade from Nannyville

elaborated on this topic further, saying that initially appearance is very important but overtime as

genuine feelings develop, the girl’s personality becomes even more important and changes in her

health or appearance is not a problem. Karen mentioned that she likes men who act like

themselves, appreciating their “swagger” but not their “hype”. Girls from UTech mentioned that

they like men who have respect, trustworthiness, are reasonable, attractive, and have monetary

assets. One girl also mentioned that she wants a man who will accept her just as she is, so that

she is comfortable around him as he is comfortable around her.

Table 1: Showing that girls breakup easily than guys

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GenderPercentage (%) This was out of Twenty three Male87This was out of Twenty three

girlsFemale95.7

Table 2: Showing who should pay the bill (dance/movies/party).

GenderGirls GuysSplitRotateIn Percentage (%)Male4.572.713.79.1Female065.218.116.7

Conclusions:

Money seems to be a dynamic factor in relationships in Jamaica; many of the respondents

cited it as an important factor. Using the psychosocial orientation highlighted by Crooks and

Baur (2008) this makes sense in the Jamaican context. Many of the girls who cited money as an

important factor in their relationship, were from the downtown area, from a poor background.

Naturally there are going to have concerns about money, wanting to see if they can find someone

who can uplift them out of their situation. Unconditional love can be looked at as a privilege of

the financially stable, therefore. That is why Kadian from Trench Town is concerned whenever

she sees that a man is unable to pay for a night out together. She starts worrying about how she

would be able to have a stable future. Crooks and Baur cites another researcher’s theory as to

why this may occur as well. According to David Buss’ cross cultural research he notes that

women are more concerned with financial responsibility and dependability in their partner

(Crooks and Baur pgs. 174-175). He theorizes that this is due to the basic needs that were

produced through evolution. Women, as the nurturers of offspring, go towards older; establish

men who have wealth, as this would lead to a higher chance of security for the woman’s

offspring (Crooks and Baur pg. 176). In contrast, men look towards young, attractive women as

it is more likely that they will produce healthy offspring. This theory aligns with many of the

responses we received from out participants. The women tended to focus on financial concerns

and personality when discussing the ideal male partner or use it for considerations for why they
 Men and Women Responses 6

may break up with someone. The men were more concerned with the physical attractiveness of

their partner. They tended to list desirable physical attributes, while the women listed personality

attributes. This may also explain why men tend to not break-up with women, as they decide to

keep the links, seeking multiple women. This way they are also fulfilling their reproductive

duties. Women, on the other hand, seek stability for it is better for their offspring, that is why

they can’t deal with the infidelity and so they break it off.

Gender role is another dynamic force at play in the relationships of those we interviewed.

It seemed that everyone tended to agree that there were certain gender roles that men and women

must ascribe to, especially the male role in the relationship. Western cultures, of which Jamaica

is influenced due to British colonialism, hold that the man is the one who is supposed to take

care of the woman in terms of finances. He is the head of the household (Crooks and Baur 2008).

Therefore, it makes sense that many of the women evaluated men based on their ability to pay

for a night out, and that some of the men mentioned that they didn’t feel right if they couldn’t

pay the bill. Some of the men in Nannyville did react against this expectation, citing it as unfair

and unnecessary.

Researchers have developed different scales which determine whether or not a

relationship will terminate. One such scale is the Close Relationships Scale which analyzes four

different aspects of a relationship that are important (Knee 1998). These four are: intimacy,

passion, external factors, and individuality. Intimacy is the result of a relationship where both

partners are happy in the relationship. The factor of passion states that good sex is important in a

relationship. External factors note that money is as important as love in close relationships (Knee

1998). Finally individuality is the concept that each partner has the right to their own privacy.

Many of these qualities were noted by the participants in our study has elements they think about
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before breaking up with someone or cite as reasons why someone may have broken up with

them. Many of the men over in Nannyville noted that women tend to become jealous easily,

thinking that they are being cheated on and so they end the relationship or interfere with the

man’s privacy (Individuality). It seems that if any of these four factors were deficient in the

relationship then that was the end of the relationship for the woman, whereas the man may have

sought that missing quality elsewhere without ending the relationship entirely.

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