  
  
(Adapted from a talk by the author— self-sacrifice at the root of heroism can ties for the benefit of others.
ed.) be show n w ith the help of the follow ing
J
ohn cam e to m e yesterday and de-
clared, “I’ve severed all connections
w ith R ichard!”
“W hy? I thoughtyou and R ichard w ere
very close friends!”I asked w ith surprise.
John replied, “W e aren’t friends any-
m ore! I don’t like selfish people. U ntil
yesterday I didn’t know R ichard’s true
color. A ll these years I didn’t know that
he w as the m ost selfish person in the
w hole w orld!”
T hen John told m e that he badly
needed one hundred thousand dollars to
expand his sm all grocery business. B ut
as his credit w asn’t that good, he couldn’t
borrow the m oney from his bank. So he
w ent to borrow it from his m ultim illion-
aire friend, R ichard. B ut R ichard told him
that since all his m oney w as tied up in
investm ents, he w asn’t able to lend John
any m oney at that m om ent. Th is upset
John extrem ely. Th at’s w hy he cam e to m e
to com plain about R ichard.
B ut John w as oblivious of the fact that
he w as judging R ichard by his ow n self-
ishness. Since R ichard didn’t fulfillJohn’s
ow n selfish expectation, he w as calling
R ichard the m ost selfish person in the
w hole w orld.
H ad R ichard acted differently and told
John, “W hy should you have to borrow
m oney from m e? W e’ve been friends for
so m any years. I’m giving you a check for
tw o hundred thousand dollars right now .
It’s m y gift to you! It’s not a loan.” H ad
this happened, John w ould have consid-
ered R ichard the best friend in the w hole
w orld!
It is interesting that the criterion w ith
w hich w e judge goodness in a person is
how m uch self-sacrifice he or she is go-
ing to make for us. Th is kind of thinking is
undoubtedly flaw ed, nevertheless it points
out the fact that unselfishness is better
than selfishness.
A t the root of anything that’s good,
great and noble there m ust be unself-
ishness or an act of self-sacrifice. For
exam ple, heroism is considered a noble
quality in hum an beings. Th at there is
. , . 
A side from all this, selfishness m akes
analogy:
L et us suppose that a beautiful m an-
sion in a certain neighborhood has caught
fire. A large num ber of neighbors are
standing around the burning house. Th ey
are lam enting that such a beautifulhom e
is being gutted by fire.
Suddenly som eone yells, “E verybody
w ho w as in the burning house are out of
the house except the m aid w ho w as in the
basem ent.”
H earing that, one person in the crow d
rushes into the burning building and
w ithin a few m inutes com es out carrying
the m aid over his shoulder. In rescuing
her, he gets m inor burns allover his body.
B ut stillhe is able to save her life.
H e instantly becom es a hero. B efore
rushing into the burning house, he w as
just one of the m any concerned neigh-
bors standing around it. N ow he is a hero
because he did som ething that the other
neighbors couldn’t do. R isking his ow n
life he entered the burning house to save
the m aid’s life. It is this act ofself-sacrifice
that has m ade him a hero.
W ho are good parents? T hose w ho
w illingly and lovingly m ake self-sacrifice
for their children are good parents. Th e
sam e is true for good husbands, good
w ives, good children and good friends. In
order to be good, they all have to m ake
willing and loving self-sacrifice for oth-
ers. Self-sacrifice m ade under duress or
m ade reluctantly w on’t be the indication
of goodness.
N ow let us try to find out w hat selfish-
ness really is. In the sim plest term s, our
ego is at the root of our selfishness. Th e
first thought that arises in our conscious
m ind is the ego. Th is thought is a factor
of separation. It helps us to separate our-
selves from everything that w e think we
are not. O ur ego expresses itself through
the three w ords I, me and mine. Th ese
three form the very foundation of w hat
w e call selfishness. W hen these three
are involved in our activities— m ental or
physical— only to benefit ourselves and
not others, w e are acting selfishly. W e act
unselfishly w hen w e perform such activi-
 
us love only ourselves, not others. Th us
self-love and selfishness are synonym ous.
B ut w hy do w e have selfishness? W e
m ay im agine that a perfect w orld w ill be
a w orld free from selfishness. B ut in this
“as is”w orld, in w hich w e live, everyone is
born w ith selfishness.
N ew ly-born babies, w hom w e consider
little angels, are the m ost selfish, totally
incapable of m aking any self-sacrifice.
Th eir only language is crying. W henever
they need anything, they cry. Th eir cries
are dom inated by the thoughts of I, me
and mine. B y crying they say, “I am hun-
gry, feed me. I am uncom fortable;com fort
me,”and so on and so forth. Th eir parents
give them allkinds of loving care day and
night. Yet the babies don’t thank them
even once!
A s they grow up they gradually learn
to m ake m utual self-sacrifice in order to
adjust to hum an society. If they do not
learn to do this they are labeled antisocial,
sociopaths, etc.
If w e analyze hum an behavior, w e shall
find that selfishness is a device to protect
ourselves. W e are born w ith this instinct
to protect ourselves from everything
that threatens to harm us physically or
m entally. W ithout selfishness individual
survivalw ould not be possible.
Yet, as w e live in society, w e have to
learn to m ake self-sacrifice for other
m em bers of the society. W ithout such
self-sacrifice of the m em bers, the society
cannot be sustained.
A ccording to H induism , w hatever
sustains anything is called its dharma.1
T o explain, the capacity to burn is the
dharma of fire. Th is capacity sustains the
fire-ness of fire. W ithout this, fire w ould
have ceased to be fire.
Sim ilarly, m utualself-sacrifice sustains
us as hum an beings. In our infancy w e
are sustained by our parents’loving self-
sacrifice for us. H ad they not m ade this
self-sacrifice w e all w ould have died in
our infancy.
T o sustain a fam ily, allthe m em bers of
1. In Sanskrit, dhārayati D harma ityāhu.

the fam ily have to learn to m ake self-sacrifice for one another.
Th en again, to sustain society w e have to m ake self-sacrifice
for society. Th e sam e is true for the sustenance of nations and
for allhum ankind. Th eir existence can be sustained by the self-
sacrifice of the hum an beings belonging to the nations or the
entire hum ankind.
Selfishness is usually of tw o kinds: (1) individual selfish-
ness and (2) group selfishness. A s individuals it is easy for us
to understand w hat individual selfishness is. B ut w hat is group
selfishness? N ationalism is an exam ple of group selfishness. It
is the selfishness of a larger group of people called the nation.
Sim ilarly, there are m any other kinds of group selfishness based
on race, ethnicity, language, profession, cultural and econom ic
levels, religion, gender, etc.
N either individual selfishness nor group selfishness is good
for hum ankind. Individual selfishness creates interpersonal
conflict and breakdow n of fam ilies, w hile group selfishness in
the form of nationalism has caused countless battles and w ars
throughout history.
B ut is it easy to get rid of either individual selfishness or
group-selfishness? It m ay not be easy, but it can be done.
Th ere are tw o proven techniques that can help us to get rid
of the evileffects of selfishness.
In the first technique w e have to train ourselves to gradually
expand the horizon of our selfishness. If and w hen w e succeed
in doing this, selfishness ceases to be selfishness. W e all know
that potassium cyanide is an extrem ely potent poison. Ifa person
takes one sm allspoonfulof potassium cyanide he w illsurely die.
B ut if that spoonfulof potassium cyanide is dissolved in one of
the great fresh w ater lakes of C anada, it w illbecom e so diluted
that it w ill lose its capacity to harm anyone. It w ill cease to be
a poison.
Sim ilarly, selfishness can be converted into unselfishness
through expansion. People are born w ith self-love or selfishness.
Th rough practice this selfishness can be expanded to include
all of hum ankind. W hen that happens, selfishness ceases to be
selfishness.
In this connection I w ould like to tellyou an incident of m y
ow n life. A s a young novice I w ent to see a highly venerated
m onk of our O rder. H e w as then in his late seventies.
A fter I had saluted him , he w anted to know w here I w as born.
I told him the nam e of the city of m y birth. H e then asked m e,
“H ow large w ere you w hen you w ere born?”
“I don’t think I w as any larger than an average size baby,” I
replied.
Th e sw am isaid, “So it’s that space occupied by your little body
w here you w ere actually born. W hy do you then say that you
w ere born in that city? O bviously, you w ere not satisfied w ith
the lim itations of the tiny, little space w here you w ere born. You
w anted to go beyond those lim itations. You therefore expanded
and included that city. Th en you expanded further and included
India as the country of your birth. B ut should you stop there?”
Th en the sw am i paused a little and said, “N o, you m ustn’t
stop untilyou have expanded m ore to include the entire w orld!
R em em ber that w e are m onks of the R am akrishna O rder. O ur
country is the entire w orld and our fam ily is hum ankind.”
In this m anner the elderly sw am itaught m e the lesson ofhow
  
to go beyond m y little self through its expansion. Th at lesson left
an indelible im pact on m y m ind.
Th e first requirem ent of the second technique is that you
should have at least som e w orking faith in G od. In this tech-
nique you have to learn to transform allyour activities into your
loving service to G od. If you are m arried and have a fam ily of
your ow n, you should think that you and your fam ily are in-
cluded in G od’s fam ily. You should teach yourself to think that
your house is G od’s house. In short, w hatever you seem to ow n
actually belongs to G od. N o m atter w hat you do it should be
done for the pleasure of G od. A s you are doing everything for
the pleasure of G od all your activities w ill turn into unselfish
activities.
In this technique you don’t have to renounce the w orld. You
have only to change the attitude of your m ind. Your thoughts
of “I”and “m ine”have to be converted into “Th ou”and “Th ine.”
Saints like Sri R am akrishna have prescribed this technique for
those w ho w ant to go beyond individualselfishness.
In H indu m ythology w e find an extraordinary exam ple of
unselfishness. Th ere w as an eviland very pow erfulA sura nam ed
V ritra. H e defeated Indra, the king of the D evas. Indra then
w ent to L ord B rahm a and prayed for H is guidance and help.
B rahm a told Indra that V ritra could not be killed using conven-
tional w eapons;only a w eapon m ade out of the bones of Sage
D ahichicould killV ritra.
A ccordingly, Indra w ent to Sage D adhichi and explained to
the sage w hy he had com e. In other w ords, Indra requested D a-
dhichito die in order that his bones could be used to develop the
w eapon that could killV ritra. A ny ordinary person w ould have
been enraged by such a request. B ut D adhichi w as no ordinary
person;he w as a sage!
D adhichi said to Indra, “H ow fortunate am I to know that
m y bones w ould be used for such a noble cause! O therw ise,
these bones w ould have rotten aw ay after m y death serving no
great purpose.”
So saying, D adhichi entered into a deep Sam adhi and gave
up his body. Indra took his bones and created the w eapon called
V ajra. Th is w eapon killed V ritra.
Sw am i V ivekananda used to say, “U nselfishness is G od.”
D adhichi’s life is a w onderful exam ple of unselfishness and
self-sacrifice. Th rough his unparalleled unselfishness he has
m anifested his inherent divinity. A nd in so doing he has exem -
plified the V edic dictum :“A llindeed is B rahm an (G od).”
A ccording to the sages of India, the goal of hum an life is to
m anifest this divinity inherent in allof us. It is this divinity that
form s the very core of our being;it is this divinity that sustains
us. Th is is our D harm a. W ithout this w e cease to exist.
The mantra purifies the body. Man becomes pure
by repeating the mantra of God... It is said, the
human teacher utters the mantra into the ear; but
God breathes the spirit into the soul.
—SriSarada D evi
  -