Christian Counseling

Unit 1: Understanding Teens & Their World

Session 1

The Wired Generation: iPods, Internet, Games, Myspace and More | Chap Clark, Ph.D.

Introduction: It seems everywhere you look these days young people are wired! I don’t mean pumped up but
literally wired to something electronic! Whether it’s an iPod, game system, or whatever it may be, these kids are
gadget crazy – but what does it mean? Are they really that crazy?!

Four Perceptions about Technology

1. Life itself has changed dramatically
2. Technology is here to stay and is going to increase
3. Technology has made of all life instant
4. Technology is basically neutral; its use & our response to its use is what matters

Question: What is happening out there right now? (Spring 2007)

Myspace; Facebook...but it doesn't matter what the latest thing out there, but how we look at technology and we
respond. Our attitude toward people is what matters.

Adult (esp. post-college adults) often slide into technology as a tool for their own personal interest and gain.
Technology becomes a new window. But we are talking about children - adolescents. It is not tools of necessity;
technology is just what is in their life.

What is actually happening out there?

I. Technology that affects us as an individual
A. Game
The marketers of games realize that they will make money is to have a different version each year.
Games have become increasingly more violent. Competition was about play back then and now it has
become more violent and aggressive.
B. IPOD or personal devices
This generation has a lot of disposable money.
C. The Internet
When kids go on to the Internet, it is usually social. When individuals go on to the Internet, it usually
is a personal surfing. They have learned really well out to cheat. Teach them how to think about the
data.
II. Society
A. Gaming
To be a social experience, most of the manufacture companies try to put it on the computer. Game
parlors that have happened about 8 years ago. Wii - interactive social gathering.
B. Cell phones
14yrs+ most kids fall asleep with the cell phone on. It is the most intimate way of communication.
Text messaging has become the conversation of choice over the phone or in person. They believe
that there is just one message that might give them hope. What if a parent were the last person
(human) be that last person before they sleep?
C. MySpace & Facebook
Social networking sites. It is a mixture of a partyline and a party itself. It is a myth that kids go out and
look for strangers. 2 things to be aware of: kids will gravitate around virtual "friends" that they've
accepted. 2-3 degrees removed. In general, they spend their times with friends within their social
network.
D. Blogging
Get's a lot of attention...but more so with college and above. High schools are far more interested in
social networks. They people who are over 35...they're not interested in blogging. Primarily 22-35
years old.
 Christian Counseling
Unit 1: Understanding Teens & Their World
Session 1

How technology has affected us and changed us:

Background: People believe that "Technology changes us". The reality is that social changes relationship...the
cultural fabric ripped and more individualism. The industrial revolution. We need to recognize that how we live our
lives allows technology influence us.

Good: Quicker accessibility (control our lives if it is a tool); Wider network of friends (email; facebook; internet);
Greater access of information (more data to glean truth from)

Bad: Superficial knowledge and understanding. No longer the age of the printed page (linear thinking) now you
have the age of the image (mosaic thinking). Haven't mastered the material before they move on; Superficial
relationships (they don't know how to talk to each other. Very difficult to have relationships); Inauthentic or
dangerous relationships; Controlling or relationships & communication (not to text someone or caller id); Time
management has become nearly impossible (fragmented & busy)

How do we respond?
1. Primarily focus on the home setting: the one place where kids truly feel, when they are pushed or given
opportunity in a safe context...they let their guard down. Make sure the home is real, warm & safe.
Among the superficial relationships that one has...want kids really want is someone who is stable,
accepting, even in the midst of conflict, betrayal, etc. Ex. TV has to be off 30 min before/after dinner.
Everyone has to be a part of the meal. We have to eat dinner at least 20 minutes. Romans 12:9ff.
2. Never forget that every child and adolescent is desperate for an authentic human connection. John 4 -
Jesus honored her by connecting; honored her continued her story by asking questions; honored her by
focusing on her. Ex. eye-contact; someone to listen.
3. Recognize and remind ourselves that every single kid is desperate for an authentic connection with the
Lord. Col. 4:2ff. Do you pray for kids in the wired generation? Are we watchful for our youth? We do allow
ourselves to be their guide? Are we thankful that we work with youth? The majority of youth do NOT
believe that leaders and teachers and parents do NOT "like" them.

Six Tips:
1. Be proactive: Take steps to engage in the lives of youth
2. Be an adult: Don't overreact
3. Train rather than punish: Teach how to think deeper
4. Have an attitude of gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15)
5. Use counseling with prescription medication
6. Address familial issues when counseling a kid

Three additional tips:

1. Gaming & Network: Set Time Limits
2. Practice Negotiation - allow them to make good decision with you guiding them
3. Understand how to use technology as a tool - Don't ever put a computer connected to the internet in a
kid's room; show trust but stay alert; create an ethos of openness with balance of respect and
responsibility.

Afterword by Justin: Teens & adults alike cannot “just escape” technology. It’s something that has come and is
here to stay. In Jesus’ High Priestly prayer in John 17 he asks for wisdom on our behalf while we are still in the
world. In Genesis 1, God creates everything good and delights in it, however because of sin, it has tainted
everything that we see and touch. Therefore, with wisdom that comes from following Jesus, we walk faithfully on
this earth. Technology in and of itself is not evil…our job is to train and equip the youth that they might utilize it to
grow deeper in Christ and make his name famous.