Heart of a Lesbian Poet

By Val Littlewolf Heike

Val’s Poetry
by passionetpoet at 8/16/2009 11:38:08 AM

Laura’s Poem………
Arousal

Thoughts of her erupt between my loins,

A secret place within me springs to life rapping off,

Silently wetness fingers reach her breathing quickens my pace.

Invisible smells arouse my senses sweet, sensuous,

Vibrating, sultry her voice comes to me,

Heart thuds within my heart.

A phone call away, my ringer my voice announcing her,

I know that her voice will bring my Cumming.

Sensuous, beyond sexy, her breathiness warms me,

I think of her calling my name,

I remember thoughts of calling her name,

Holding her to me as I rise and fall fills my dreams,

Dampness damping the bed, my heart beats in time with my hand,

This is want,

This is desire!

This is Arousal,

This poem written alone for you is one of a kind as you are,

You are my arousal……..

10) A Kiss
A kiss is a moment in time,

Lingering with every sensation,

A letter not mere words,

A song rhythmic in proportion,

Somber, melodic, vibrant in sound,

Meaningful, promising of loves tomorrow,

Not lies or maybes,

Something like love

Take time and energy,

And most of all,

Heart.

Like unto a kiss.

Val R Heike

19) Window Sill

There upon a ledge the fly rests,

starring through the glass,

the world beyond beckons,

the silent clamor of living things

become the want of the life the fly and I seek.

When alone on a mountain being gay loneliness is beyond pain.

The fly and I dream of the pleasure of belonging,

and of love of a mate,

and the words, no longer shutout,

no longer alone,
and to feel the warmth of being whole.

Val K Heike

21) Twilight
Stars blinking,

The great spirit controls the heavens,

You like the brightest star burns deep, in my heart.

One with you, my hand in yours,

I say my prayers, wishing upon a star,

Twilight star bright, this I pray,

Great spirit guard her,

I give you my life, she has my heart,

She is all I ever want,

Barbara you honor me!

With this heart in your hands,

Ready to die, your tears mine,

My days, nights yours,

Twilight star bright,

White Wolf.

Val Heike

Copyright ©2008 Val Heike

24) Goose calls... Falls Here!

Wrote at Wagon Trail Resort in 1998,in Door County,Wisconsin

The air fills with smells leaves dropping to the ground,

tourist buying this and that, Sales here and there,

Aramark's employees in the Shenandoah National Park,

Counting days till the end of this 2004 season,

Those of us in the valley recalling the warmth gone,

Soon the we roll back the clocks,

Pounding to think, what happened this year,

I fell in and out of love,

Started school for Graphic Design,

Lost my car, job, heart,

Went to Wisconsin in February,

Lost a baby,

Nothing stops the calls of fall,

Leaning against a tree, looking up, flying in formation,

hearing ,waiting, "Honk, Honk," there it is.

over head can be heard, Goose Calling Cadence. Falls here!

Val Heike

Copyright ©2008 Val K Heike

25) My Love
My love rises when I’m sick, grabs her jeans,

Jumps in snow boots, brushes by me, keys in hand;

as I turn her whispers in the air around my head,

love you, I Love You!

The middle of the room caught, my stolen white pine,

Christmas poor in our home,

our love enriched our home,

my lover, my girl,

my heart.

Val K Heike

26) The Future

Laying upon the ground my eyes ride the clouds,

Memories of yesterdays truth burn within my mind,

yesterdays tear stains my sorrowful face,

Still jobless yet within a poets world I'm O.K.

I see more for my tomorrow

Words like I love you but not in that way,

I have had three women try to steal a warriors peace.

Only in paper I am Whitewolf Americas Heritage,

A living history farm,

No one steals the thunder my future holds.

No dark cloud sits upon my horizon.

Only I hold my destiny in my hands.

That is my future.

Val Heike

Copyright ©2008 Val K Heike

27) The Stain Glass

Written for the good folks in the bible study group at “Church of Christ in Luray,

Virginia

It rests in our hearts. The colors and tints are held in

their smiles, It's George, the Blind retired Doctor Holding

my hands, Glad that I came to Bible Study, It's Doc Martin

in his Pride of His Doctorate of Veterinarian Medicine, and

his wonderful tales, It's Carol and Bud Smith happiness to

take me to church. It's the warmth of a Banker from Page

Valley going home after church so that he can drive back in

his old truck to take me and a bike home. Our Stain Glass in

Christ's Church no more lovely then our Pastor, Father

Daniel Robio, It's the little choir sometimes only

numbering in single digits. It is all the parishioners at

the Epistcal church in Luray, VA. And not least but last it

is the children old enough to walk receive Holy Communion.

Val Heike

Copyright ©2008 Val K Heike

28) Broken heart IT, Gone

Remember William's Hook,

His it the joy of his life, his children's birth,

My It burns only when my cats are near,

They bring me Great Joy,

They fight a wiccans demons.

Lost in the Iowan countryside, 6 miles from Waukon,

Never have they killed to eat,

My heart an empty craters in my chest,

My passions and drive lost,

My Prayers, my voice echoing in my ears,

My calls unheard still inside I Shout "Come Home!"

Momma needs ad Loves You!

Val Littlewolf Heike

29) Craig
My youngest nephew in his junior year in high school 2006

By Val Littlewolf

My youngest nephew confirmed today,

A young man of the Lutheran Church,

Though we love him,

He is not perfect,

Tee shirt Jesus Homeboy,

Thursday last there he sat,

Detention called,

Next time he sees a dead mouse,

Maybe his homeboy will whisper in his ear,

Don't wrap it up and share it,

A girl in his Junior class unliked by my nephew,

That day got a mouse.

Seems humorous to me his aunt,

Who will always love him not his choices.

Val K Heike

Copyright ©2008 Val Littlewolf Heike

29) Crosses We Bare

Bearing ones spirit when seeking employment,

Experienced and Studying,

Desires to fulfill her passions,

Venture Capital sought,

Computer on fritz,

Stuck from one horse town to another.

No Car, spells no job,

No job means no car,

No money, no special friend,

People see me as homeless, I see me as void heart.

Like a forgotten Christian song,

Empty heart,

I’m not different than others,

Blue isn't a color of choice,

To soar like the eagle full of passion,

Instead my Cross stretched out before all,

Bare, empty, alone dead.

Val Littlewolf Heike

30) Difference

Are you poor; because you Lack,

Are you a failure because your afraid,

Is fear keeping you from a goal,

money stops success,

Ideas still flow,

Paper fills beneath my pen,

dreams of success,
 Money in pocket,

Not worry about lacking,

To care for my family,

To know in my heart, I have come!

Bringing it!

That's the difference,

Poor, Idle only money allows,

Grasping the brass ring and Success-seeding...

Val Littlewolf Heike

31) Missing
Like a lady she sways,

Thoughts of her Shenandoah Valley,

My heart seems empty, and alone,

tears flow burning down my Virginian cheeks,

miles away in Waukon, Iowa still upon the wind,

wings of gold glisten as angels rise leaving,

terrafera bodies fall empty,

Bang, Bang, bang the air filled with sulfur,

Red classroom floors, student’s heart STOP...

VT football hero's cry,

Mom's pride fallen lives vanished not a war away,

blood seeping into ground saturated by other mother's,

son, Not Johnny reb nor Yankee blue,

kiss your children,

wave goodbye, mother's all.

This from a Virginian heart near body in Iowa.

Val Littlewolf Heike

32) The long Night

Poverty stricken, homeless, unemployed,
Lost in self,

Seeking funds to end her endless night,

returning to school to start a new segment in her pain filled life,

Nearing 50, under employed unable to be,

Out and not out at same time, empty,

Wondering if death the answer,

Writer lover of words,

Val Littlewolf chosen name,

Given Val Heike, funny those that bestowed name can't live it,

No money means less than life,

suffering from a long pain filled night,

Are my words empty or is this the beginning of a new era.

Val Heike

Copyright ©2008 Val Littlewolf Heike

Written for homework in B-Mode

March 2010

I learned fear and pity from a family that hated anyone that was different. I taught myself as well as my

friends that I was more than the fear and hate taught to me by my family and friends. How was this hate

taught? Or how did it manifest, when I was in mom’s womb; while driving reckless tossing my mom

around in the backseat. My future father the one little girl is supposed to look up to, depend on and love

saw this as an apt opportunity to take my life. When I was two he placed both his hands around my neck

and told mom that with very little effort, I could stop breathing. When I was 14 at the family cabin in

Northern Wisconsin, after several drinks on a lovely sunny warm summer day with loaded 44 magnum,

in his right hand. With a black barrel pointed, toward me and wild threats of ending my as well as my

little nephew and niece and mother I had worked hard to keep alive since I was 9. Since I was 9 it had

been my goal the safety of my mom. I stepped up, John Wayne would have been proud of me even if

this man so not my father will never feel pride in me. Many women in my life taught me that pride

comes from within out and it is in our pride that we help others find their peace of mind and themselves

become prideful.

Phonics, when I was 8 they as if a UFO was flying over and snatched the system called Phonics, out from

under the noses of us children who needed it. I was 9 when we moved back to Iowa from Howard,

Wisconsin. I had no idea how to spell or read. It was the return of Phonics that gave me cause to learn
how to read. I had summer school with many my age group. It was as if people saw us as special children

our handicap was the lack of the ability to read. Then it was as if a sweet magic possessed my heart and

soul. Letters shouted at me there wasn’t any sounding out. I read fervently it gave me the sweet taste

for knowledge. It was magically and it was all because of Phonics.

Boomer
Hello this is boomer his real name was rover. He was owned as if he were an animal by an Amish lady.

He was always tied up, alone and when they did tie hi up he was there all alone tied in knots wrapped

around and around. I hated them having him, I promised myself with my entire heart that he would not

spend another year in such misery. So I took my second eldest nephew Daniel E Mathis, he is on Face

book listed his home town Des Moines, Iowa. We drove out there and he as I had hoped fell in love with

Rover.

There was some screaming of course my family and I don't see eye to eye on animals that need to be

saved so I do it anyway.

Ellen my younger sister has since fallen in love with as he is called now Boomer; he is loved and has his

very own boy now. He has had his shots and been changed sex wise, you know. Boomer is a great dog.

Bike Accident,12/8/2021 9:42:57 a12/p12

Bike Accidents in s   Waukon ,Iowa ,August 11th,2008, after taking a final in Cultural Diversity

at the Wellness Center in Waukon I was struck by a 92 year old retired attorney. I suffered a

smashed right wrist as it collided with the pavement on Fifth Street where I fell after the driver

finally stopped after driving over the top of my bike.  The previous year a young 18 year old man

still in high school while delivering The Prairie Shopper, he was struck while on his bike and his

young life was ended. It s strange to think that biking is hazardous to health; it use to be an

expression

What is the natural way we as victims look for assistance, Dahh?” I thought the legal profession.

Having watched this and that cop show I anticipated being questioned”, but not in Waukon,

Iowa. No one asked me the victim anything about the accident. I wrote a note telling what had

occurred. It didn’t matter to the powers to be. The man that hit me had practiced law in Waukon

for 70 years. I was git lady who was queer. First the retired attorney Lynn Morrow didn’t even

say he had struck me yet there was paint on his car from my white bike, his car was on the scene,

his window was smashed in all his air bags were blown out. See I had like a deer rushed through

the window then when his car had stop, and not abruptly I had toppled off to lay in a lump facing

into the street on the right side of the vehicle while my bike was crumpled behind me.
The Waukon police heard the retired attorney and not me, they believed he was just going

home(while he was going the wrong direction),they the Waukon police chose to believe that he

had struck me while turning my way as he was driving toward my location, Balderdash! He had

pulled on to 8th street traveling behind me the sun as he told the police wasn’t in his eyes that

Monday afternoon at 4 pm it was a clear wonderful day until my world nearly seized to exist.

If Lynn had as he presupposed struck me as he turned from the right into me I would have been

found smacked and bleeding and broken on the left side of the road. It is only logical; no one

even used their natural born logic.

I took him to court with an attorney I found in the Access line (My community in Iowa Gay

paper) Edward Krug, just before my deposition he had completed his medimorfisus and emerge

the butterfly now called Ellen. He was sure the town would side with the beloved son, Lynn

against me so we settled for $30,000.00 out of court. I would never select a lawyer from Iowa or

a Gay attorney if ever nearly lose my life in Iowa.

More than one thinker has suggested that modern science alone provides “true truth,”
and as civilizations realize this, religion will disappear to become the cultural
Equivalent of the dinosaurs. Do you agree with this?
No No I don’t think I concur Explain. Among those who have experienced the unity within whether a
 seeing in a church or a field it invisibly created need. It becomes like neither a thirst nor a hunger. I

experience it in a way being without my community feeling it online in Facebook. The fellowship of my

community makes me a better individual more willing to give and distinctly be a better human being for

it.

My Human Biology instructor the other day when he supper imposed a query for the all women’s 1

Biology class at Calmar’s NICC. He asked a question “Do you think Gays and Lesbians should wed?

There was a small commotion and I was unsure that this class was really a science class due to the fact

that “We”, my brothers and sisters in the Gay community are no longer seen in the scientific community

as ill due to our believe that “Yes: we are Gay.

He Dr. Scott Miller proceeded to say that as a scientist he didn’t care if we did or did not, but the other

side of him thought that it should never be made a law due to his Christian self opposing granting Gays he

might of as if screamed “Queers”, should never marry. Up to that point I had thought him to be a fine

teacher and highly intelligent. To my surprise there were several females of like mind. That wasn’t my

surprise my surprise came in a young wisp of a girl sitting adjacent to myself a voice boomed to life, My

uncle is Gay and I’m happy that now he can wed and that at least this right is granted lawfully to him.

“Wow!” Here in Iowa I mix the unity of belonging in and near a community of my peers who know me

and my beliefs a church group gets succinctness2’ from its believers Dr. Miller science that believes that a

1
We aren’t intended to be all female it is just that no men had signed up for our class.
 Million years ago we were as mice to Dinosaurs and stops my right for equality will never be able to stop

me from being a true believer with or without a church.

Saint Pat’s 1990-1992

Story of a Woman Custodian

12/8/2021 9:42:57 a12/p12

1990-1992 I worked at Saint Patrick’s Catholic Church/School it was one of my duties to clean

the Catholic Church by vacuuming it every Friday after children’s mass and I clean Monday-

Friday the larger of the two schools.

I worked for 2 years for $5.00/hour void of holiday pay or insurance. I shoveled and mowed

with the hand mover or old fashioned shovel. Jim Ward the Senior Custodian always seemed to

hide with the on skirts of real work such as unloading the truck and putting away items.

I had just started a camcorder business and purchased a camera for $4999.99 now I own the same

camcorder the one I own now cost $200.00 and fits in one hand. I had or was doing many jobs

with my Video Memories and had asked the Parish counsel to take a second job. In the school

year I got between 20-25 hours a week and 40 hours in the summer. After receiving the
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Unsure of spelling I mean to Suck from the Old Testament to gain nourishment.
permission of the counsel I started the factory job but after two days I had quit due to being

allergic to the oils used.

I had all along continued my work at school. One day I was about to mow when Sister Margret

Anne, says what are you doing there? I said I just finished across the street and I’m fixing to

mow next to the convent it was extremely hilly and I truth told really rather not but it was my

job. I was then told that I had quit and that, that was why she thought it odd that I was going to

mow for free. I assured her that I hadn’t quit. She told me Father had told her that I had quit two

weeks ago. I was dumb founded! Father had asked me two weeks ago to sign what he had said

was a petition for something and if asked by your parish priest to do something you if catholic

never argue. I had to go through the Labor Board of Iowa to get my Unemployment because

even Jim Ward the older custodian said he was sure I quit. We broke his story because during

that time the teachers in my building stated I was telling the truth.

When school started that fall there were three new people in my spot. Father had learned that he

could with money from the state of Iowa employee three retarded individuals at exactly what I

had made. They didn’t last the month, so Jim Ward’s son that happened to be a lay minister and

at the time out of work started in my stead.

Wild Women of the Blue-Ridge Coven by Val Littlewolf/Heike August 2010-11-21

The air full the sweet smell of violet. For luck violet is present at celebrations, house warming’s

and is planted near doorways directly outside near the porch. Wiccan – There is many types of religion

we experience throughout our lives and some of it is non-traditional. When the mere thought of religion is

thought of and someone suggests “wick”, thoughts of nobly noises, black cats and nudity arises as well as

evil and satanic.

While I was in Virginia for my five years from 2000-2005 I was thrilled with the concept of

being presence among some Blessed and Outstanding women from the “Wild Women of the Blue Ridge

Coven” they celebrated “White Magic!” Some of the Ceremonies dealt with money pouring in the spring

of the year so that businesses run by the women would be successful.

There was also “New Moon”, and the “Harvest Moon Feasible”. There usually was beer, wine

and of course what I learned wasn’t a bug even though it was called a cockroach that was shared to nearly

the fire end.

There are many covens in Virginia’s Common Wealth. The Shenandoah Cauldron is not is filled

with interested people and good people even though their Christmas Cards vary totally from the ones I

was raised with in that they await the horned profit.

 Both are distinct and worshiped in private. I prefer the White worshipers because they are totally

into things that are for the good of the community and less for the rule of the world.

Power isn’t might as much as love and naturally order is strove for. There wasn’t any nudity for

me it was like a gathering of family and friends male and female who had all showed up not to get out of

something to be able in their mind to go out and perpetuate whatever was seen as despicable the next day.

These folks came together to simply celebrate life and to be “Blessed!”

I will always be Wiccan praying to the Great Spirit with knowledge that mother earth and her

creator has power over us always and forever. I learned that unity and love made a church’s people

strong.

Thanksgiving Day

Today, do you ever wonder what if you were dead? What would have occurred,what or who would have
hurt more for it? Today I found myself wondering, I had to assist mom who is 83 and in need of a new
knee to stand up, then I had to help her as she leaned on her lesbian daughter for support to simply get out
of a chair. I found myself wondering if she ever thought maybe it is time that I support her for being the
terrific daughter she is whether Gay or straight. I bet she will never have such deep thoughts.

. The day I was reborn

I was baptized into the Methodist church and raised Lutheran felt haunted by loneliness a kind of
 emptiness that crawls into our hearts when we are at our bleakest. Joined the Catholic church at 26 was
surprise that it was while standing in the Dinnigroom where I worked at Mount Rushmore in the black
Hills of South Dakota that I first met a servant of God. She presented herself to me in a manner of
speaking while I was serving coffee the year was 1994 and I was 36. She wore a black dress and her
granddaughter was with her. We had a lovely vivacious conversation wherein she told me that she had
always dreamed of becoming a Baptist minister and so at the ripe age of 85 she had finally become
ordained.

She told me of her children and how they had struggled and had still all in all become fine upstanding
adults and that they indeed did a honor to their race.

It was there in that Dinnigroom that Val Heike seized to be and Val Littlewolf was born because it was
there that I was baptized by a minister full of God’s love. She asked me if I thought it would be ok if she
blessed me. She hadn’t thought that on her trip to Mount Rushmore the place she had wanted to come to
since she first saw North by Northwest the Alfred Hitchcock movie. 3

I had often heard of the premise to be born again and thought it an abnormal occurrence and yet here I
was only a week before I had, had a vision quest and now to be blessed in the light that she carried as
most people carry a walking stick, it just was a part of her and not an extra something to be used and
then stuck in a closet till needed once more. There I stood I had to bend my head some for she was a tad
shorter then I was but it was cool. I at first shut my eyes thinking that if I did that no one would see this
short woman blessing me, then nearly as fast as I shut them I open then due to the fact that no one else
was being so honored and I was swell with that.

It is as simple and as hard as that, a putting on or a taking off that is how it is to be born a Christian to be
reborn is more intense but possible.

When I told my boss or started to tell Allen Dumbroski he patted me on the shoulder and said you do
need a vacation don’t you Val? They never understood that she might have been a messenger sent to
show me that God is near and he does live. I never saw her again and so no one logically can tell me
she wasn’t a carrier of the Holy Spirit. 12/8/2021 9:42:57 a12/p12

3
I hadn’t the heart to tell her that the dining room she was standing in was to be tore down and another to take its place in two years hence.