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3rd Year, 5th Digest, No. 11 www.dhsflipside.com October 4, 2007, Free, Will

Concert Pianist Just


Wants to Live in Super Senior Doesn’t Know What
Harmony
By Edmund von Floueshten
to Wear For Class Color Day
By John Frolinian
All this
razzmatazz and hub- DEERFIELD, IL—Bob
bub has gotten over Vacation, a five year senior
the top. Things around at Deerfield High School,
my home concert hall was puzzled last Friday for
have just gotten too class color day and the pep
crazy. Who can stand rally following it. Bob, who
this anymore? many lovingly dub, the
That was rhetorical, “super-senior,” for his great
because I cannot. I might walk around looks and wit (and five
all day playing concertos and sonatas, years of attendance) was
but all I want around hear is a little unsure of what color he
peace and harmony. was to wear.
People might say then “Well let’s see. Left: The Deerfield High School pep rally, Right: The confused Bob Vacation AP PHOTO
when you play a harmony you get Freshman are white, sopho- want everyone to be the same and Flipside reporters who
harmony, but this is not so. The tuba mores are green, juniors are blue and unified,” said the deans. “Everyone attended class color day and the pep
is always too loud, and the cellist is seniors are black. I think teachers should wear the Deerfield jumpsuit to rally did spot Vacation and Helisten.
always too screechy. might have been red or gray, or express conformity and thoughtless- Vacation wore black and Helisten
I just want calm. Maybe I maybe khaki. But what does that ness. Any further expression of color wore his robe.
should move out of this concert hall make super-seniors?” asked Vacation. could become controversial.” They “I didn’t wear black,” said
and into a normal house or apartment “I think it makes them yel- would not answer directly about Bob Vacation. “I wore charcoal. It is simi-
where there aren’t banjos and violas low,” said an overconfident four year Vacation because they did not want to lar, but by no means the same. And
and flutes playing all day. senior. “Any other color is just too single out students. that is how I see myself among this
Maybe that would be my similar to everyone else. And we The other super senior, population of seniors.” In the future,
answer to harmony. But then again, want Bob to stand out as much as he was indifferent as to class color day. Vacation hopes to graduate from
how could I live without my piano can.” “I will probably wear what I always Deerfield High School and move for-
and my metronome. I probably could- That is not the goal wear,” reported Nathan Helisten. “My ward into a university.
n’t, so I must remain here and find a expressed by the administration. “We robe.”
way.

Man Arrested For Cruelty to Balloon Animals


By Owen Trentonite cally, “If we don’t help them, who didn’t seem to get through to some of with sharp objects, popping, and
will?” those terrible people. throwing away.”
NEW YORK, NEW YORK—In a sad This has been the question “A disproportionate “The way I look at it,”
scene yesterday, the local animal Balloon-Animal Rights Activists have amount of the balloon-animal abusers says concerned teenager Lin
rights group Rights For Animals been trying to answer for years. There were clowns and children in the Oligander, “If you wouldn’t do it to a
helped convict a felon on a repeat has been much activism in trying to under ten set,” reports Ballon-Animal human, why would you do it to a bal-
charge for cruelty to balloon animals. calm cruelty to balloon animals. Rights research Todd Venderven. loon-animal? We are all animals if
“We help animals of all There have been repeated ad cam- “The most common abuse has been you look at it biologically, and they
types,” said spokeswoman Joanne paigns and mime tours, but it really brutal twisting of body parts, poking probably have much of the same
Gerfunk. “I DNA as us.”
Left: The abused ballons including a snail and a lion; Center: Bozo; Right: Joey Jones, the seven year old AP PHOTO
don’t care if it’s The man arrested, Joey
a lion or a cat or Jones, was a five time repeat
a dog or a porcu- offender. Jones, a seven year old,
pine or a mos- has been convicted to half an
quito or a bum- hour of chores and a paper say-
blebee or a ter- ing why he should stop being
mite or a balloon violent.
animal, we here Bozo was also arrested for
at Rights For abetting the crime. He provided
Animals are ded- saftey pins and permanent mark-
icated to helping ers which were used by Jones to
them.” She draw obscene images and pop
paused dramati- the animals.
“These sudoku puzzles are way too easy for my liking.”
DHS Students and Faculty on the level of sudoku in past issues. Now try this week’s ( I dare you).

PICTURE THIS NUMBERS


The percent chance that if you are

96 reading this, you are getting more


skeptical by the second as to how
else you could be spending your
time. Think about it, there are so many other
things you could do, is it really worth it to keep
reading this? For those dedicated 4% of you,
respect.
FACT
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces
are called aglets.
LIE
Lye, the soap, is known to have been used in
creating ancient manuscripts in Egypt.

CRYPTOGRAM CHALLENGE DIRECTIONS: This is a simple substitution code, each letter is replaced by a different letter.
The first two people to solve the cryptogram correctly will win a Flipside
WIN A FLIPSIDE T-SHIRT! HINT: H=D t-shirt! (first means first to see Jeremy Keeshin to redeem shirt)

“ZP TK HWVDWE DWMH TY Z LFH WAMK BZJ TZAIDYB DW MZCY, Z UWIMHA'D

SEWWH. Z'H DKRY F MZDDMY PFBDYE.” - ZBFFV FBZTWC.

last week: “I do not know with what weapons World War Three will be fought, but World War Four will be fought with sticks and stones.” - Albert Einstein

SUDOKU DIRECTIONS: Unscramble these JUMBLE


Level: Really Simple four ordinary jumbles, and use the
letters in the circles to answer the
final question.

CANPE

STANY

LICEOP

how the ballpoint and


the gel became friends TARORC

A: THEY WERE
last week: FETCH AHOLD NATURE RIDDLE
what they said about the lying ballonist HE WAS FULL OF HOT AIR