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3rd Year, 6th Digest, No. 12 www.dhsflipside.com October 11, 2007, Free For All

Homeless Man Unaffected By Hurricane La


Catrina Strikes
Struggling Housing Market Desperate
By Yuri Carinque cramped, but this also did not
seem to affect Winthrop.
Sophomore Class
LITTLE ROCK, AR –Gordon “You know, Yuri,” said the
Winthrop, local homeless laid back Winthrop, “most of By Peter Cottel
man in the Little Rock region, these things don’t affect me. I DEERFIELD, IL—In a devastating
admitted in a press release have been living a carefree attack, “La Catrina: Episodio Uno”
last Wednesday that despite life recently, and even the
the struggling housing mar- tight quarters at the homeless
kets, he has been doing quite shelter aren’t that bad because
fine. I haven’t been spending too
“I’ve actually been much time there either.”
doing quite fine,” stated The Department of the
Winthrop, “Maybe even better Homeland Security failed to
than ever. Since the housing comment on this issue
markets have utterly col- because they felt that it was-
The carefree Gordon Winthrop AP PHOTO
lapsed, I think a lot more n’t really relevant to them.
people have been on my “The thing is,” replied However they did note that
side.” Winthrop in a knowingly oblivious the warning level is orange. struck the unprepared sophomore class
The credit markets and tone, “those things don’t really affect “High interest rates, fed last Tuesday in the listening lab in D-
housing markets had experienced a me. I stopped dealing with credit and fund rates changes, bull markets, these 111. Many came out so disheveled that
major downturn due to leveraging and debt and banking fifteen years ago.” terms are all a bunch of garbage,” said they needed to ask what period it was
risky loaning. Winthrop, however, was Understandably, the home- Winthrop. “There is just one thing I and what month they were in.
indifferent to the whole escapade. less shelter has gotten a little more really can’t stand: Body Odor.” “The thing that struck me
most was the acting,” said very percep-

Pen Runs Out of Ink Despite Repeated tive sophomore student Bill Owdion. “It
was so realistic, when they told me this
was actually a work of fiction, I insisted

Pressing of Easy Button that it was not. I’m telling you, that
story just seemed so real.”
Many students were not as
By Picov Andropov its shiny texture, but its size and depth lawyer questions the truthfulness of lucky. “I was not ready for La Catrina,”
at which it could be pushed down.” the Staples advertising campaign and said motivated student Vallerie
DEERFIELD, IL –In the middle of Forced to finish the test slogan, “that was easy.” Flomtching. “It was so difficult that
arguing that the era of Jacksonian even on my seventh watching, I could
nonetheless, Orson borrowed a 1st “It actually wasn’t easy,”
Democracy was improperly titled, exclaimed his lawyer, “the button not piece together some of those phras-
Class pencil from the annoy-
Deerfield Junior Orson Buggy’s newly simply did not serve its es from Felipe and Rogelio.”
ing girl behind him
purchased pen began to run out of ink. advertised func- Many students were not
who always con-
Being prepared for situa- tion.” Orson is even as lucky as Vallerie. Said a terri-
fused
tions like this, and without a spare ready to press fied Owen Forest, “I mean when
Hamilton
pen, Buggy had purchased a Staples charges Hurricane La Catrina hits, it hits hard.
with
Easy Button to quickly relieve himself against the After watching Episodio Uno, my
Jefferson.
of insufficient supplies. Removing the false adver- papers were strewn all over the place
Although he
red button with white letters spelling tising and and I couldn’t even find my backpack.”
argued his
the word “easy” from his backpack wants his Hurricane La Catrina left the
point well and
beside him, Orson pushed it to the $5.59 refunded. sophomore Spanish class in shambles,
even gave some
unpleasant surprise that nothing hap- Staples was but Spanish teachers are working on a
evidence as to refute
pened. recovery effort.
his claim, just Orson Buggy and his failed easy button AP PHOTO willing to release
“I kinda got the impression to show he the following
from the commercials,” Buggy could be com- statement, “Easy
explained, “that the button would easi- plex, his Button is a service mark of Staples the
ly replace any office supply I needed teacher refused Office Superstore, LLC. Made in
more of.” To Orson’s dismay, no pens, to read it, caus- China.” They seem to have the issue
or even ink for that matter, fell from ing him to end well in hand.
the sky. “I pushed it several times, yet up with a grade When asked for comment
my pen was still out of ink…. People of a zero on his again, Staples stated that they planned
looked at me as if I was crazy.” One exam. to use the easy button to produce more
onlooker stated that, “[Orson] Buggy’s easy buttons, which hopefully would
appeared to be fascinated by not only function correctly.
“Ugh. Someone else already got the cryptogram.”
This cryptogram challenge is dog-eat-dog. If you dont get it, someone else might. So why not try to solve it?

PICTURE THIS NUMBERS


The amount of people who will

2 win Flipside T-Shirts this week.


This is a rather coveted prize and
position. Who will be the winner?
Only time will tell. But time, it does not speak in
English, only in cryptograms. If you are lucky
enough to solve it, maybe it will be you who
wins this sought after reward.
FACT
More than ten people a year are killed by
vending machines.
LIE
In Ancient Greece, spelling was considered an
“Oh boy, I’m in trouble.” art only practiced by the wealthy.

CRYPTOGRAM CHALLENGE DIRECTIONS: This is a simple substitution code, each letter is replaced by a different letter.
The first two people to solve the cryptogram correctly will win a Flipside
WIN A FLIPSIDE T-SHIRT! HINT: T = O t-shirt! (first means first to see Jeremy Keeshin to redeem shirt)
that means, that if there is any of the first
letter, replace it with the second letter

"IYXN SLTSUL EDL GDFA FALDQ IJPDZ PFDUU DX FALI. GAN DP FADP PT? FTT TBFLX DF

DP MLZYJPL FALN YQL YUGYNP HLFFDXH QLYEN FT UDKL. MLBTQL FALN OXTG DF, FDIL

QJXP TJF." - TUDKLQ GLXELUU ATUILP


last week: “If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.” - Isaac Asimov

SUDOKU DIRECTIONS: Unscramble these JUMBLE


Level: Gleaming four ordinary jumbles, and use the
letters in the circles to answer the
final question.

THABI
How do
I look?

LINTE

TREDON

how the man


accessorized his LEWILD
Asian suit

A: WITH A
last week: PECAN NASTY POLICE CARROT
how the ballpoint and the gel became friends THEY WERE PEN PALS

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