GITA SHIBIR 2011 SUCCESS

Session
1 Success

Session Summary

I. Human Endowments
A human being has three capacities or endowments, namely, (i) self consciousness,
(ii) capacity to learn and grow, and (iii) capacity to make judgments about self and
others.
II. The ideal I – the real I and my expectations
Each one of us has an ideal about our own self as to how I should b e.
I have certain expectations of my own self. When I make judgments
about myself, I do so based on the frame of reference which is my
ideal I.
III. Success in individual lives
We typically associate success wit h one or many of t hese things -
wealth, name, fame, power - t hese are usually called success and
therefore I want to possess wealt h, name, fame, power.
IV. Means and ends and success
It is v ery import ant to und erst and what are means and what is the
end. Any kind of achiev ement (wealth, name, fame) are the means,
whereas t he end is t o be happy, pleased and satisfied wit h myself.
V. Expectations and their management
I hav e many expect ations of myself and when I liv e up to my own
expectations, then I am happy. Normally, we are seeking approval of
the world; our parents or eld ers; our b oss; our t eachers or somebody
else whom we consider import ant in our life. When an important
person approv es of you then we feel comfortable, sat isfied wit h
ourselv es.
VI. Two dimensions of success
The objectiv e dimension of success is what I h ave, what I achiev e
which means wealt h, name, fame, power, recognition. The subjectiv e

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aspect is what I am - that I should be pleased with myself. My

material achiev ements should be able to make me happy.
VII. Internal success and capacity to enjoy
I require something within my self, a capacity to enjoy (internal) to
enjoy what I have (external). To be a happy or a successful or a
pleased person I need the means such as wealth, power, fame etc.
and t he capacity to enjoy all those t hings which is a conducive
state of mind. It is throug h your mind through which y ou enjoy or
experience.

VIII. Need for efforts

You hav e to work hard to create t hat object ive dimension of success
which is wealt h, name, fame, recog nition. Also understand that to get
the subjectiv e dimension you need to creat e a capacity to enjoy and
for this also you hav e to work hard and make efforts.

IX. EQ – the yardstick for mind management

The subjectiv e aspect of success is an emotionally matured mind, a
mind that enjoys a high emotional quotient (EQ).

X. Sources for enjoyment

To be happy, you do not need anyt hing other than yourself and to be
unhappy also you d on’t need anyt hing else other than yourself. Joy
and sorrow is exp erienced throug h the mind. Happiness or suffering
depends not on fact ual happ enings but upon t he texture each one’s
mind.
XI. Instruments of enjoyment
Your mind is a med ium throug h which you experience any object of
enjoy ment which you encount er throug h the fiv e sense org ans (eyes,
ears, nose, tongue, skin). The same movie is enjoyed different ly by
the same person once wit h a happy, carefree mind and at another
time with a anxious, worried mind.
XII. Efforts required to develop a matured mind
You hav e to work hard to creat e an emot ionally mat ured mind which is
cap able of enjoy ing your possessions – g ood job, big house, car, larg e
bank balance et c.
XIII. Attitudes in living

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If you b ring the right attitu de and values in your life, work,
relationships, in all aspects of life, then you can consciously cultiv ate
the mind which enjoys emot ional maturit y.
XIV. Can mind be changed?
We can chang e our mind and we hav e t o change in order t o get t he
subjectiv e dimension of your success or disposition of mind which we
call an emotionally matured mind.

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Session Transcript
I Human Endowments
1. We commence our d iscussion, our st udy . The top ic of this morning ’s
discussion is ‘Success’ Success is the most important thing for human
being.

2. A human being is a self-conscious b eing . What do you mean by self-

conscious is that I am conscious of myself and I am conscious of t he
world as well. Self-conscious means I am conscious of my self as to
who I am. I am conscious of t his fact of who I am. I always know who
I am. M eaning that I always hav e an id ea of who I am whet her I know
or not. I as a human being always hav e an opinion about myself; a
judgment about myself. Human beings possess an intellect. It is a
nature of an int ellect to judge and since we are conscious of our own
self therefore we have a judgment ab out ourselv es.

3. See, this is very imp ortant. What we seek to communicat e with you is,
to be able to help y ou to perform your t ask more effect ively – task as
a manag er; t ask as a leader. Whatev er task you are app oint ed to do in
your life to b e able t o perform that task effectiv ely and secondly to b e
a happy or a successful p erson therefore, what we plan t o discuss
during these three days is most relevant to you. We will not talk of
hypothetical things, acad emic things, we will simply talk of what is
most practical for us. What we need to know in ord er to be effectiv e
and happy too.
4. So, we were saying that human b eing is a self-conscious b eing a
very important trait. Secondly, we possess an int ellect which is a
learning capacity to learn and when I say this, as an illustration
applies in ot her forms of life such as animals, such as t here are
insects or creat ures, such as plants or fields that they hav e some
cap acity t o learn but no capacity to g row. We have t he cap acity to
learn and grow. What do you mean by grow? To become g reat er
than what I am; big ger than what I am; there is capacity to learn;
cap acity to g row; capacity to make prog ress. These capacit ies we
have. Very import ant capacities, all of these show t hat human
being is a most ev olved creature. So, self-consciousness; the
intellect where the capacity is there to learn and thirdly, the
capacity to judge; make decisions. Intellect is a judging faculty
therefore we say that we all will hav e a judgment about whatev er
we come across.
5. Whatev er you come across, first thing is make a judg ment . You
come across a p erson, first t hing your mind does is make a
judgment, oh, t his fellow is friendly; oh, watch out, he is not
friendly , he look s like my adv ersary; looks like good p erson;
doesn’t look like good person, what ever. Some kind of jud gment
the mind should make about anybody or anyt hing that I come
across and then alone I can decid e how to deal with that person;

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how to interact wit h that person. If my judgment is - he is a friend

- my int eract ion is one k ind. If my judgment is - he is not friendly -
he is inimical to me - my reaction is of different kind wit h him.

6. So, how we react or how we respond the situation to a person, to

anything d epends upon not what t hat t hing is, dep end s on what I
think about that. Understand this. I react or respond not to
what is but to wh at I thin k i t is and that being the case how
my mind judges becomes very important because all our
reactions, respon ses in teractions are all based o n our
judgment. It is a nature of the intellect to judg e and whatever I
come across, I confront, I alway s have a judg ment and t he way I
react is b ased on my judgment. It is possible that what I p erceiv e
may be d ifferent from what is. What is, is he is a very kind and a
good person b ut his appearance is such t hat I feel that he is,
watch out, he look s like a goonda . So, while you are walking alone
for example in the evening, you see a person if he looks like, he
may b e a friend, he may not be a t hreat ening p erson at all b ut this
is how my mind t hinks and then I behave in a cert ain way .
Therefore, we are t hinking what t hey call t here is a box within
which we think and what is import ant is to understand is that we
do not react or int eract with t he world as it is we alway s interact
with t he world as we think it is.

7. It is a nat ure of mind to judg e and my reaction or response will b e

based on my judg ment. So, that is where the ind ividual fact or
comes in, you know? It is what is called the subjective factor.
There is an objective world there at the same time I hav e
subjectiv e judgment about what is that and my life is based on
what my judgment s are; what my op inions are. So, this is where
Vedanta pay s att ent ion. We have t aken for grant ed that we are
interacting with the world as it is. That is what we hav e tak en for
grant ed. Vedanta or Bhagawad Git a draws our attention t hat, no,
very oft en we do not interact with the world as it is we always
interact with t he world as we t hink it is. Therefore,
understanding wh at the world is be comes very important so
that our thin king or a judgment is i n alignment with what is
rather than what I thin k i t is, I me an something different
from what i s.

8. Thus, we hav e a jud gment about anything that we experience. So,

the first t hing t hat you experience is our own self. We are first of
all conscious about ourselv es. There is no escape. There is no
escap e in b eing conscious. T herefore the first t hing I am conscious
about is my self. If you pay attention t o early morning, when you
wake up in the morning, the mind goes through cert ain phases of
consciousness. When you wake up from d eep sleep, let us say , first
of all you are just conscious not any particular thing but you are
conscious. T hen you become conscious of yourself. Hey, wait a

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minute, here, supp ose you hav e gone out, for certain p roject,
normally when you wake up you wak e up in y our bed here in your
dormitory or in host el or wherev er you are stay ing but it ’s p ossible
that you will hav e d ifferent p hases. I am in Khand ala, very good.
The first conscious of myself t hen conscious of environment then
conscious of what my role is and then I start doing what is
required. Hey, wait a minute I am in a Shibir. Oh, time is 7 O’clock
or it is 6:30, I jump , get ready. So, first, what I am conscious of
first t hing s is conscious of myself. So, each one of us is conscious
of ourselv es and therefore we hav e a judgment about ourselves,
you follow?

9. Each one of us has judgment about ourselv es. What kind of

judgment? Judgment of whether, I think I am alrig ht or jud gment
may b e I t hink I am not alrig ht. We are judgmental ab out ourselv es
and what is the basis of judg ment? When you judge something
frame of reference is there based on which you judge. Is it not so?
These d ays on t he road, hig hways, expressways in Mumbai,
yesterday as we were d riving from a residence in Vile-Parle to go
to Chowp atty, that area, we were driving on the sea-link. You know
what k ind of sp eed s are there, you k now. So p eople just. That’s
why I guess there are what they call bumps not bumps speed -
break ers they call them not vibrator, some word t hey use it.
Arrester, right. Rumbler. T hat ’s called rumbler. T hey rumb le you.
They slow you down. That people slow down but we found that
when there were no rumblers, ev ery body slowed down. What
happ ened? Was t here an accident there? Then we found t wo police
people were st and ing there wit h what t hey call speed gun. These
words I am learning, you know new word s. So, speed guns because
they measure your speed . To measure the sp eed, some frame of
reference is there. You are over-speed. How ov er-sp eed because
you are supposed t o drive at 50 km/h that ’s what the sig n says,
you are d riving at 80 km/h. Thus judgment always has a frame of
reference. Similarly, we have frame of reference about ourselv es
and based on which we mak e judgment about ourselv es. What’s the
frame of reference?

II. The ideal I – the real I and my expectations

10. I hav e certain expectations of myself. These are all basic

realities about ourselves. Each one of us has certain
expectations about ourselv es as to who I should be. That is what
you call an ideal “I” which is always there in my mind who I
should be and wit h reference to that id eal I, I look at myself as to
who I am. The ide al I, the actual I. That ideal I b ecomes t he
frame of reference t o judge t he actual I. Each one of us has an
ideal about our own self as to ho w I should be. I have
certain expectatio ns of my own self. Think about it. So, think
about what I am saying when you get t ime. The thing is each one

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of us has expect ations about our own self. What kind of

expectations? I should b e a successful person. I should be an
effectiv e person. I should be an efficient person. I should be a
dominating person. What ever exp ect ations you have. I should be a
good person. I hav e an expectation t hat I should b e a good person.
Even a person whom others say is not a good p erson b ut that
person has of himself/herself expectat ion that I should be a good
person. This is an expectation we hav e. I should be an honest
person that’s my expectat ion of my self. I should b e a t ruthful
person t hat is an ex pect ation of myself. I should be a k ind p erson,
an exp ect ation of my self.

11. So, und erst and that we have exp ect ations of our own self.
That is what we call an ideal I. Who is an ideal I? A successful
I; an effectiv e I; a good I; a kind I; a caring, kind, loving person,
a good person, this is what I expect of myself and t hen what ever I
find myself I comp are with that and then come to a judgment
whet her I am g ood or I am not g ood . I am successful or not
successful. Thus, I have an ideal I, wit h reference to which I keep
on judging myself as I am and t hen come to a judg ment about my
own self. Thus, each one of us has opinions or judgment s about
ourselv es which we call comp lexes. E ach one of us has many
complexes about ourselv es. One complex can b e I think that I am
not alright. I t hink that I am wond erful. I think that I am
successful. I think t hat I am a failure. I think that I am not smart.
I think that I am intelligent. One or the other judg ment we are
bound to hav e. There is no choice.

12. This is all t he nature of int ellect is. E ach one of us has a
judgment about ourselv es. We hav e an expectat ion about
ourselv es. What’s the expectation? Let us say that I should be a
successful p erson. Each one of us loves success. We cannot
accept failure. We should not accept it also but our mind cannot
accept failure. We want to be successful people. Each one of us
want s success that is the g oal of life. Su ccess is the goal o f life.
Accept. You may ask me, what do you mean by success? Each
one of us wants to be a successful p erson. You ask a question,
what do you mean by success? May b e, it may b e hard to get a
clear id ea. Oh, Swamiji, I want to b e Bill Gat es. I want t o be a
billionaire. T hat ’s t he id ea of success. I want to be a Naray an
Murthy, want to b e an effective administrator, effectiv e manag er,
effectiv e CEO.

III Success in individual lives

13. I want to b e Swami Vivekanand a. I don’t know if somebody

has that kind of thing but I want to be, it’s spiritual. I want to be a
lead er. How do y ou have it? I want Nob el p rize. I want a
Padmashree. I want a Pad mav ibhushan. I want to b e Bharatratna.

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Somet hing or the ot her. You may not have thoug ht of this b ut I am
just putt ing the id ea before you. So, wh at is mean t by suc cess?
When you say I want to be a successful person, what you want t o
be? Do you want to be a wealt hy person? Is it called a successful
person? You want to be a famous person? You want name and fame
is it called a successful person? You want to have position of
power. So, possessing power satta is that a successful person?
These are usually the id eas of success. So, we associate success
with one or many of these t hings - weal th, name, fame, po wer -
these are usually called success and therefore I want to possess
wealth, name, fame, power. T his is a vague id ea I hav e of success.
Granted. This is success. So, for the time being we accept this is
the id ea of a successful person. So, we like it. So, we would like to
explore the id ea of success a little bit that can you say that a
billionaire, a very wealthy person is necessarily a successful
person? Can you say that a prime minister is necessarily a
successful person or ev en t he Presid ent of United Stat es which is
the hig hest position anybody can have on this earth is he
necessarily a successful person?

14. Would you say that achieving a cert ain goal or being in a
certain position, is it in by it self success? Or is the success meant
to accomplish – is it a means or to the end? Being a CEO is it a
means or end? Being a billionaire is it a means or an end? Being
prime minister is that a means or end? You see the diffe rence
between means and end? End is the goal you want to reach.
Means is that by which you reach. The thing is being well-
being, b eing well known, being powerful etc. are these means or
ends? Is it an end by itself? Is being wealthy is an end b y itself?
Or is the wealt h meant to be a means for somet hing else? Are you
seek ing wealt h for t he sak e of wealt h or for the sak e of something
else. You are seeking wealth for the sak e of wealth, it is called the
end. You are seeking wealth for something else it is called the
means. You understand?

15. So, after b ecoming wealthy, what will happen to me aft er I

become a wealt hy person? Supp ose my goal is to become
billionaire and I b ecome billionaire what will happen t o me? How
will I feel ab out myself? I will feel that I am successful. I will feel
that I am alright. I will feel t hat I am acceptab le, I am alright.
That is when I app rove of myself until that goal is reached I do
not app rove of myself. If b eing a b illionaire is my goal, I am not
satisfied and happy with myself unless I b ecome a billionaire. If
becoming a CEO is my goal I won’t be satisfied wit h myself until I
become CEO. As I say, I hav e an expectation of myself, I want to
be a CEO. I want to be a billionaire. I want to be a p rime minister.
I want to be, whatever else you want t o be and I k eep comparing
myself as to where I am and judg e myself and unt il I reach that
goal I am not sat isfied wit h myself. Is t hat rig ht?

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IV Means, ends and success

16. I am not happy with myself; not satisfied wit h myself until I
reach the goal which I have set for myself. Therefore, t hat g oal, of
what ever, let’s say b ecoming a billionaire, let that goal becoming a
CEO, is t hat goal a means or end. Is it not that you are seeking
somet hing throug h that goal; is it not that you are seek ing
satisfaction with yourself t hrough that goal is it not so? When I
become a CEO I will be sat isfied wit h my self. Happy wit h my self. Is
it not so? Do you just want a millio n dollars for the sake of
million dollars or because you expect to be a happy person
as a resul t of g ain ing that million do llar? Do you want t o be a
CEO for the sak e of being a CEO or is it that you will be a happy
person when you become a CEO. If somebody told you that
becoming a CEO means becoming a miserab le p erson, would you
want to be one? If somebody told you that becoming a millionaire
means all worries and anxiet ies, etc. suppose, would you want t o
be one? Would you want to b e an unid entified person as a result of
reaching a certain g oal or would you want to be a famous p erson
as a result of reaching cert ain goal? You not only want to reach the
goal, you also want to be a happy person, is it not t rue? Then can
you not say, would you not say t hat reaching that goal is a means
not an end. What ’s end? End is to be a happy person, to be
pleased with myself. Understand this very clearly. It is very
import ant you understand t his. T hat ’s t he reason why I want to be
such and such is I expect t hat by b ecoming t hat I will b e p leased
with myself. I will be happy wit h my self. I will b e satisfied wit h
myself.
17. I will be ab le to meet wit h my own expectations with myself.
I have an expectat ion of my self. I think that by b ecoming that I
will b e able to meet with my own expectation therefore I will be
pleased with myself. You und erst and this that any ki nd of
achievement is no t the end it is a m eans. What’s the end that
I am seeking thro ugh this means, I want to be please d with
myself. That is the end to reach and be pleased and that ’s t he
reason why d ifferent people value different things. It ’s not that
everybody cares to be a wealt hy person. Some would care t o be a
great scientist, somebody would care t o be a g reat researcher,
somebody wants to be a more innov ativ e person, somebody , you
know, wants to be a public servant; somebody want s a position of
power. Everyone will have different id eas on what they want to be.
Why is t his so? Because they think t hat by becoming that, I will b e
a pleased p erson. Even pub lic serv ant also wants to be hap py by
serving public, doesn’t want to be miserab le by doing t hat. The
reason why we drop many goals it’s b ecause I finds that in the
process of achiev ing that goal I become more miserable than what

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I, I drop it. So, underst and t hat the end that you are seeking
behind all the pu rsuits is to be a happy person, to be a
pleased person.

V Expectations and their management

18. When I am happy? When I am, I discovered that I have to

live up t o my own expectat ions. When I approve of myself that
is when I am h ap py. This is how t he human mind is that I must
approv e of myself. Normally, we are seek ing app roval of the world;
normally we are seeking app roval of our p arents or elders; our
boss; our t eachers or somebody else whom we consid er imp ortant
in our life. E ach one of us has what we call significant people in
our life. This sig nificant p erson can b e your spouse, can be a
child, can be your p arent, can b e your boss, can be your t eacher,
can be somebody else whom you respect and t heir ap proval
becomes v ery import ant to you because when they approv e of you,
you feel that you are app rovable. When an imp ortant person
approv es of you then you feel that you are alright. Ultimately
approval also you are seeking for what purpose, so that we feel
comfort able wit h ourselv es, we feel sat isfied with ourselv es. This is
very import ant that as a human b eing g enerally I am not satisfied
with myself and therefore I am doing what I am doing so that I g et
satisfaction wit h my own self. So, t hese are v ery imp ortant things,

VI Two dimensions of success

19. Swami, what relevance does t his hav e? I want to b e, you

want to be a good manager, you want to be a good businessman,
what ever you want to be for what purpose? A successful
businessman, for what p urpose? So t hat I will be pleased wit h
myself. Is it not so? Therefore, what the world calls a successful
person. Because t he world, eq uat e success, only with ex ternal
achiev ement s but is it enough by itself or that external
achiev ement should be accompanied with some internal
achiev ement also and what is t hat internal achievement? Self
satisfaction; being pleased with myself; is it also not imp ortant
along with the ext ernal achiev ement? That’s what we say here
success has two di mensions.
20. One is an objecti ve dimension other is a subjective
dimension. What ’s objectiv e dimension? What I have, what I
achiev e which means wealt h, name, fame, p ower, recog nition.
What ever that you value. Somebody values p ower; somebody
values wealth; somebody values recog nition; somebody v alues.
Everybody has different kind of values. So, that is the object ive
aspect and there’s also is a sub jectiv e aspect. What i s su bje ctive
aspect? That I sho uld be pleased with myself. That t hing that
I achiev ed should b e able to mak e me happy. That million dollars
should make me happy. That b ecoming CEO should make me

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happy. An objecti ve dimension, a subjecti ve dimension -

what I have and what I am. The ob ject ive dimension is what I
have, what I achiev ed. The subjectiv e d imension is what I am. So,
underst and that every human being is seeking to be pleased with
himself or herself. That is the goal or that is the end. Everything
else is a means, understand. You know why it is import ant to
underst and this? So, that a means is given the place of a means
not end. L et us say that y ou are travelling from one place to the
other. You are driving your car. The car is the means, end is the
destination. Is it not so?

21. You are traveling by a t rain from M umbai to Delhi, let us say
you are in first class air cond itioned compartment b ut then it is still
a means of reaching your dest ination. No, Swamiji I am so happy
with t he train, it is a very comfort able train I am happy here itself,
I don’t want to leav e that train. You won’t. When the dest ination
comes you leav e the train b ecause you k now the train has st opped.
But suppose the train itself becomes an end and therefore you just
want to cont inue to live in the train itself, it becomes miserable to
exist. So, understand the difference between means an d end.
The world does not underst and t his d ifference. What is a means is
looked upon as an end not realizing t hat means is something else
therefore it is not uncommon to find very successful p eople being
very miserable in their personal life. Have you ev er known t his?
Have you seen or heard of many successful people going t hroug h
divorces, going through separation wit h the families, going t hroug h
depression, commit ting suicid e, what ever. Otherwise a very
successful p erson b y the dimensional standards of the world but
otherwise not successful p erson by his own accept ance or by his
own d efinitions, he is a very unhappy p erson.

VII Internal success and capacity to enjoy

22. I am not sugg esting that successful p eople are unhappy

persons. I am not equating them. It ’s p ossible, it ’s p ossib le that a
person can be a billionaire and still be unhappy, may not g et along
with his wife, may not get along with his children, may not hav e
very healt hy relations with his friend s, may not be able to focus his
mind; may not be able to enjoy what he has. So, billion dollars is
nice to hav e but you should enjoy t hat, is it not so? Nice to have a
family but you should be able to enjoy it , nice to have a child, you
should be able t o enjoy with t he child.

23. A rich person may not have very healt hy relat ions wit h his
friends, may not b e able to focus his mind, may not be able to
enjoy what he has, you follow? So, billion dollars is nice to have,
we should b e able to enjoy t hat, is it not so? Nice to have a family
but you should be able to enjoy with t he family. Nice to have a
child but you should be able to enjoy with the child. Let me take

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for grant ed that you will enjoy somet hing that you have. Can it be
necessary that enjoy what I have. No. I req uire something within
myself to enjoy what I have, a cap acity to enjoy. To be a happy
person or a successful person or a pl eased person whatever
I do I need the means such as weal th, such as power, such
as posi tion, such as recognition that I require, let us say.
Also the capacity to enjoy all those things. Is it not so?
24. Is t hat uncommon t hat you hav e planned to go out for a
movie with your friend? These three fellows are going to watch a
movie, what ev er, 3 Idiots, some mov ie they are going to watch.
Behind a rickshaw I read you k now, capacity – 3 Idiots, that has
become I g uess so famous or lik e any movie. You had been
planning, you had p urchased t he t ick ets 15 day s in advance and
then you are looking forward to this t ime with your friends. While
on the way the friends are t alking to each other sometimes p eople
have hab it you k now of making jok es or cutting off somebody or
getting fun at t he cost somebody, not uncommon. Even among
friends also we p ull each others’ leg s and have fun at t he cost o f
other person, not uncommon. Somet imes we g et joy out of
humiliating somebod y in front of ot hers, you k now, some k ind of
cruelty we hav e, whatev er it is. Thus, we hav e that kind of fun
also. Suppose while these friend s are g oing to t he movie, on the
way, somebody made some remarks and ot her p erson’s feelings
were hurt. We don’t realize t hat when we humiliat e others at the
end their feeling s are hurt. Sometimes you go out of boundaries.
As long as you are within the bound ary, it is okay, sometimes.
Suppose, on the way to going for a mov ie, somebody mad e remarks
because of which somebody ’s feelings are hurt, he is hurt. Now, I
go to the movie with the hurt mind, y ou think I can enjoy that
movie? To enjoy the movie, I should wat ch the movie of course, at
the same time I should have such a mind, is it not so? I should
have that mind that I enjoy t he movie feel free from all other
concerns. You know sitting in the movie theat re and watching
movie, you are concerned about tomorrow’s report, I hav e to write
that, you know there is a dead -line there and this should be done
and that should be or a new assig nment is there all those concerns
are there; the worries and anxieties are there; you think you can
enjoy t hat t hing?

VIII Need for efforts

25. So, we should not take it for g rant ed that enjoyment will
happ en automatically when an enjoy able object is t here we cannot
take it for grant ed, can we? An enjoyab le thing is nice to have at
the same time you also need to have a frame of mind which we call
the capacity to enjoy and therefore success has t wo dimensions, an
objective dimension and a subjectiv e dimension. You have to
work hard to create that objective d imension to get wealth,
to get name, fame , recognition you have to work of c ourse

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to get that bu t understan d th at to get the subjective

dimension; To create a capacity an d also you have to work
hard. Thi s aspect i s overlooked. It i s not understood.

26. That not only i t i s important what I have, what I am,

mind is also important because it is your mind th rough
which you enjoy o r experience. It’s like filt ering water. A filt er
is supposed to filter all the dirt from water so, if t he filter it self is
dirty, it will make t he wat er dirtier t han what it is. Is not so? So,
you see, your mind is a medium t hrough which you interact,
throug h which you experience, t hrough which you hope to enjoy
and unless you pay attent ion to your mind, you don’t t hink t hat t he
mind always will be available to you, t hat always help you to enjoy.
The mind should help you and not hurt y ou. Mind should be come
your friend and no t your enemy.
27. When the mind is worried, anxious, jealous, hat eful, hurt,
guilty, t hat time t he mind is no more your friend. What was
supporting you itself becomes an ob stacle. Our mind can b ecome
our friend; our mind can become our obstacle also and if you go
throug h your own life, so far, you will know this that t here are
many occasions when mind b ecame an obstacle to what I want ed
to do, what I wanted to enjoy. Even the relat ionships also. A
spouse, it is a relat ionship. It is possib le t hat my mind is turned
off, my mind is become disp leased , hat eful of this person. I cannot
tolerate, cannot live with this person any more. Who decid es that?
It’s the mind that decides. Fiv e y ears ago, it is this mind that
decided t hat t his is t he most wonderful p erson and after five years
the same mind says no way, let us create space. We cannot live
together. Same mind, because, during these fiv e years I have not
paid attention to my mind and not cult iv ated t he capacity to enjoy
that person who is my spouse.

IX EQ – the yardstick of mind management

28. Therefore, it is imp ortant t hat we hav e to pay attent ion to

this ot her asp ect of our life, other asp ect of success and that is our
own mind. This is subjectiv e asp ect. Myself, I also hav e to pay
attent ion. Here and right to say that what ’s in mind, it is called
emotionally mature mind, a mind that enjoys an emotional
quotient, emotional maturity.

29. What do you call an emotional matured mind? The

emotional maturity is the mind that enjoys the tolerance, pat ience,
comp assion, charity, concern for other. These are the qualities.
Whet her t he mind enjoys these qualities that is when the mind is
your friend, mind is favorable to you, mind helps you, mind is wit h
you. When you possess t hat k ind of mind, That is when y ou can
enjoy your life. You can enjoy your work. It is not that you require
only movies to enjoy . You can enjoy your work. Can you not ? Is it

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possible that you can enjoy your work? Is it possible that y ou can
enjoy y our relationships? You don’t need thing s. You have enough
things to enjoy, whatever you hav e. Enjoy your studies right now,
let ’s say. Enjoy the work. Enjoy the people around you. Enjoy your
family. Enjoy t he p lace where you are living.

X Sources for enjoyment

30. Oh, Swamiji, it is a crummy place where I liv e. It is just one-

bedroom apartment , what ever it is. You think one-b edroom
apart ment cannot b e enjoy ed. It can b e enjoy ed. Oh, Swamiji I
don’t have gard en as yours. So what? What you need is not out
there b ut it is in here. You will b e ab le to enjoy. In fact, to tell
you the truth, to be happy, you do not need anything other
than yourself an d when not happy also you don’t need
anything else othe r than yourself. To be happy, what you need
is yourself. To be unhappy also what you need is yourself. To be
happy, what you need? You need a mind which enjoys
emotional maturity. If unhappy, your mind is enoug h to mak e
you unhappy. You don’t need anyb ody else. That ’s emotional
maturity. What is that? Selfishness, narrow-mind edness,
intolerance, inability to forgive. Some of the, you know, some of
the characterist ics we are st ating here, many are t here and you
cannot forgiv e somebody.

XI Instruments of enjoyment

31. When you are not open minded, you are not generous,
when you are selfish, narrow minded, intolerant, that’s the
mind which makes you miserable. Understand that ev en when
you think that you are experiencing a movie, you are act ually
experiencing your mind. When you are experiencing food, y ou are
experiencing your mind because that movie exp erience should also
come to my mind and then I exp erience it. For any experience to
take place, that object of exp erience must first of all b ecome the
object of my mind. You know, for example, here is a flower. I
experience a flower. When do I experience a flower? When this
flower becomes a t hought of my mind. Suppose a flower is t here, I
am not look ing at it meaning that I am not conscious of the flower
at that t ime, I cannot experience flower. I experience something
when I become conscious of t hat. So, also, y ou can experience a
movie when you become conscious of a movie. You experience
anything when you become conscious of that. So, actually, even
when I t hink t hat I am enjoying flower even I am enjoying, I am
enjoy ing a stat e of my mind which has tak en t he form of the
flower.

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32. When there is another object, my mind keeps t hink ing of this
object. If t he mind does not t ake the form I do not experience
even if the thing is in front of me. Sometimes you are walk ing in
your own park in the ev ening, your friend says, hey, what kind of
fellow you are, I just walked by you did n’t ev en look at me. I am
sorry, my mind was elsewhere, it was preoccupied, I d id not see
you. It is possib le t hat you may not see what is in front of you if
your mind is elsewhere. So, when can you experience something?
When the mind is with it. Und erst and that you are actually
experiencing your mind when you t hink t hat you are experiencing a
person or an object or anyt hing. So, t hat is why, that alone is not
enough. Your mi nd is a mediu m through which you
experience. Therefore it is import ant that mind should enjoy a
certain disposition so that you can enjoy somet hing.

XII Efforts required to develop a matured mind

33. That disp osition is called emotional mat urity and it does not
take p lace automatically, you have to w ork hard to create that
emotionally matured mind. To be a kind person, you work hard;
to be a charitab le p erson you have to work hard, to be a truthful,
honest p erson, you hav e to work. Why? Because unfort unately
mind has tendencies which are opposit e to that. Selfishness is
more common t han selflessness. Being narrow mind ed is more
common t han b eing generous or charit ab le or b eing large hearted.
Is it not so? You can perhap s count honest people on your fingers,
to count dishonest p eople our fingers are not enough. T hese t hings
are not common, to be honest, to b e charitable, to be k ind , to be
giving, to b e forgiving, to be accept ing, t o be resp ecting ot hers are
not common thing. You hav e to cult ivat e it.

XIII Attitudes in living

34. And for that you must liv e your life in a cert ain way. What
life you are liv ing is not import ant, whatev er you are doing but
there is a cert ain att itude t hat you should have, certain values that
you entertain and thus if you b ring t hose attitudes in you r life,
in your work, in your relat ionships. Life is what you do and what
you relat e to, in your work, in your relationship in all asp ects of
life to b ring those attitud es and values then you can consciously
cult ivat e the mind which enjoys emot ional maturity. So, t hus, we
come to living a life of right value or right attitude.
Somet imes a q uest ion is ask ed, Swamiji, can we change our mind?
Looks lik e you cannot. Looks lik e peop le don’t chang e.

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IV Can mind be changed?

35. Looks lik e it’s imp ossible to change. It i s possible to

change. We can change our mind and we have to chang e wherever
necessary you may b e already a kind person then you don’t need to
chang e; already you are a v ery charit ab le p erson, fine, but when
you find that I lack certain aspects, I lack the ability to tolerate, I
lack t he ability to forgive, I lack t he ability to be compassionat e.
Suppose you find t hat t hen it is possible for y ou to change and
from a non-compassionat e person, become compassionate p erson
that also is the project or a process you hav e to undertak e
simultaneously. No, Swamiji, we will d o it aft er retirement, right
now we are busy. What it means? It means, until retirement I can
afford to be miserab le and after ret irement I will b ecome hap py. Is
that you want? No. There is no choice. There is no choice in
becoming emotionally matured because there is no choice in
becoming happy. You cannot accept unhappiness. You cannot
accept. Decide it. You cannot accept it. Therefore, t here is no
choice in b ecoming happy and you have no choice in becoming
emotionally matured person.
36. Then it is subjective dimension of your success means if
disposition of min d which we call an emotionally matured
mind. You are a good person simp ly saying, not only you should
be a CEO but you should be a good person; not only you are a
billionaire, you are a good p erson, also. That goodness within you
gives the cap acity to enjoy what you hav e achiev ed. So, t hese are
the aspects which are subject ive aspects easily overlook ed and not
understood, t his is where you hav e to p ay attent ion.

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