GITA SHIBIR 2011 VALUE OF VALUES

Session
2 Value of Values

Session Transcript

1. Okay, I think we have to now postpone rest of the questions and

proceed with the next session which is value of values. The questions
were asked here, Swamiji, you talk of emotional maturity and you
have said that we have to initiate the process of emotional maturity, it
does not happen automatically.

I Emotional growth – need for self effort.

2. Certain things happen automatically. For example, the physiological

growth happens automatically. A child is born and the organic
physiological growth will automatically happen by nature. All that you
need to do is to protect the child from accident and stuff like that
from the scooters and motorbikes and things like that and give the
food to the child and in course of time it will grow up. He will need to
shave. He has to get married. All these will happen automatically.
Meaning that the physiological growth takes place by laws of nature,
you need not do any great thing to grow physically matured. Its built
in.

3. But emotional maturity does not automatically happen. It is possible

that a person who is 50 year old, physiologically the person can be 50
years old, emotionally the person can be 5 years old. To give an
example. As a 5 year old child I had an elder brother also who was 8
year old. Once my mother gave us candy. She gave me one candy
and gave some candy to my elder brother also. I saw my mother gave
2 candies to my brother, gave one candy to me. I said to my mother
– Maa give me another candy. My mother answered – beta its better
if you avoid eating second candy. One candy is enough for you. No I
want second candy. I want two. But my child you are suffering from
cold and cough. If you eat the second candy your cold and cough will
get aggravated. When you recover I will give you 2 candies. I want
2. Why do you give him 2? Give me 2 also. He is older than you, he
doesn’t have any cough and cold. I want 2. The mother does not
give 2. I don’t want this one also. I throw the candy and run away.
This is not an uncommon thing. All of us must have gone through
this. I don’t care.

4. So look at this. Having a candy is not enough to enjoy. You nee d

something else to enjoy that candy. What? A disposition of mind. So
Ok Mom, you are right. I will get my second candy when I grow up.
Suppose the child could say this, I am sure it will not say, but

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suppose it could. Then, it could have enjoyed that one candy that
was given to the child. What do you expect from a child? A child
does that. Now the person is 50 year old. He is an engineer, a very
senior person. Working with a group of people, with several
colleagues. All working as a team, he is a team member. At the end
of the year, there is the evaluation that takes place. Out of the team
of these 5 people, one person got promotion. This person did not get
promotion. Even though he was working very hard, very sincerely.
Other person got the promotion, he was upset. He went to his boss,
Asked him, Sir, how come so and so got promotion? I did not get
promotion. Boss says, his performance was better. His work ethics,
his way of working, was better than you. Even though you have
worked hard, you are not as effective as that person is. And that is
why you appreciate it, we have given him promotion. So he says – no
I also must have promotion. I am no less than him. I worked hard, I
deserve it. His boss is very patient. He explains to him – you make
these improvements, we will give you a promotion next year. No I
must have promotion now! If not, I walk out. He walks out. When
he was 5 years old, he threw away candy, as a 50 year old he threw
away the job.

5. I throw away things, when things do not go my way. So we can say

that in the fifty year old body there is five year old child. Is it not so?
So, physiologically he has grown, emotionally he has not grown. That
emotional maturity does not take place automatically we have
to initiate that process. As I say you have to work hard in order to
become emotionally matured. This is a human problem. This problem
is not there with reference to other life forms. There is no such thing
as emotionally matured cow. There is no such thing emotionally
immature dog or cat as they are always true to their age. A cow born
as a cow it becomes a cow. That cow is emotionally matured. When it
is emotionally matured, it is compatible with age because they are
programmed that way but human being is not programmed. Human
being has a free will therefore he has certain responsibility and
therefore he has the responsibility to initiate, undertake that other
kind of growth which is called the emotional growth or emotional
maturity. You have to do that.

6. This need is not recognized by people. They think that success lies in
achieving external ends. Success is equivalent to achievement of
external things but it is not recognized then you also require internal
dimension to enjoy what you have. To have a candy is one thing to
enjoy it is another thing. Job is one thing, you have to enjoy it is
another thing. You can have things and you cannot enjoy them if your
mind does not enjoy a certain disposition. So, that is where the
question of emotional quotient or emotional maturity comes.

II. Emotional maturity is acquired by following values

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7. How do we go about doing that? For that the program is following

certain values and we just pointed out when do you like yourself?
When you are a kind person that’s when you like yourself. If by
chance you dispel cruelty from yourself, you are angry, you are cruel,
you are insensitive, you do not like that cruel, angry or insensitive
person. Therefore, answer is very simple. For me to be happy with
myself I should also be a kind, loving person. So, you should
have both. With your training and skills you can be a wealthy person
or whatever it is that you want to achieve externally. At the same
time you should right away initiate process of inner growth so that as
you become rich outwardly you also become rich inwardly.

III Two kinds of wealth: inner and outer

8. So, thus, there are two kinds of wealth. One is the material wealth,
in terms of money; in terms of power; in terms of recognition that is
one desirable kind of wealth. There is second wealth also in terms of
your inner quality. In Bhagwad Gita there is an expression used for
this inner wealth daivi sampat - sampat means wealth, daivi mean
divine. One is the material wealth other is the divine wealth or the
internal wealth in terms of good qualities and so we have to undertake
a process of cultivating these qualities. This compassion is a value.
Kindness is a value. Charitableness is a value. Generosity is a value.
Why are these values? Is there a basis or a reason why I am happy
when I am kind? I am not happy when I am cruel is there a reason? Is
there a reason why I am happy with myself when I am a loving person
not hateful person? Is there a reason? There’s a reason. Can
somebody think of a reason? Why I am happy with myself when I am a
loving person? I am not happy when I am a hateful person. I am
happy when I am a kind person.

IV Natural values: by nature each one of us is good

9. This is what you are. You know something? This is what you are.
Basically, you are a kind loving person. That’s what each one of
us is. We are all saintly people. We are all saints within ourselves.
That’s by nature we are saints. By nature, we are kind, loving,
good persons. Whatever is that you like yourself to be that already
you are. That’s the reason why you love kindness. You respect other
person also, this is a kind person. What do you respect? You respect
an angry person or you respect a kind person? Whom will you respect?
In your mind, if he is your boss, you require to respect him as your
boss but internally you may not respect the person. He may be a cruel
person or an angry person. Internally who do you respect? A kind
person. Is it not so? You don’t always appreciate a wealthy person.
You don’t always respect a person because of his wealth, his power,
his name and fame. Swamiji, you know, I know who this fellow is?
That’s what people tell me. Swamiji, you know he enjoys his position

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of power but you don’t know how that person is. He is a dishonest
person. He is such and such. We don’t respect a dishonest person.
Is it not so? We respect an honest person. We don’t respect an
angry person. We respect a kind person. Is it not so? So just as we
respect somebody else who is kind, loving, we respect ourselves when
we are kind and loving. We disrespect ourselves when we are unkind
or hateful.

10. Because kindness is our nature. To be loving is our nature. To be

generous is our nature and there is love for one’s nature. It’s always
love of one’s own nature and that means there is comfort with one’s
own nature. There is discomfort when one is deviated from one’s
nature. This is the rule. Basic rule. There’s comfort with one’s own
nature. There is discomfort when for some reason one is deviated
from one’s nature. The fire is comfortable being hot. Ice is
comfortable being cold. Water is comfortable being cool. Water is not
comfortable when it is hot. You’ll find that when water is cool at room
temperature, it is at peace with itself – no struggle, no movement but
when you heat that water, water becomes restless it wants to give up
that heat so that it can come back to its nature of being cool which is
when it is comfortable.

11. A river water, river, source of river is ocean. You know ultimately
all the water comes from ocean, is it not so? The water in the ocean
gets evaporated because of the heat of the sun. It turns into clouds.
It’s carried away some place by wind and then it rains. So, this water,
it originally belongs to ocean for separated because of these different
factors and it falls as rains somewhere in mountains. You think water
is comfortable being there? No, it’s not comfortable. That is why
water keeps on flowing, small streams all gather then they become a
river, becomes a very powerful river and it flows in which direction, in
the direction of ocean and this river is anxious, is working hard for
what? In order to meet the ocean. When the river meets the ocean
then all its anxiety, its restlessness, its conflict, it’s all gone now it is
at peace with itself.

V Adherence to our basic nature gives peace and happiness

12. A thing is at peace with its own nature and not at peace when it is
deviated from its nature. We are at peace when as I said we are
kind and loving person because that is our nature. We are not at
peace with ourselves when we are angry, cruel, unkind because we
are deviated from nature. You follow? That is why these values are
being taught to us because when you practice these values we are
acting in harmony with ourselves when you violate the values we are
violating our own self.

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13. If kindness is my nature and if I act in a cruel way then I may hurt
somebody else also by being cruel or before I hurt anybody else I will
hurt myself by violating myself. Understand this. If love is my nature,
which is what it is. Suppose, I am a hateful person, suppose I exhibit
hatred at some point of time, because of my hatred I hurt the person
towards whom I was hateful understand that before I do that by being
a hateful person within myself I have already damaged myself. So, I
damage myself before I damage somebody else because whenever I
act in a manner which is opposite to my nature there is a conflict
within myself. That is I cannot be at peace with myself whenever I act
in a manner which is contradictory to my nature. I am at peace with
myself when I act in harmony with myself. Understand this.

14. The simple rule is being in harmony with yourself there are certain
realities about yourself we said that. Vedanta talks about the realities
of life, the basic reality about myself. So, what is the reality of
myself? This is a reality that I am a good person. Goodness is my
nature; evil is not my nature. Kindness is my nature; cruelty is not my
nature. Being loving, charitable, kind is my nature; not the opposite.
That being the cas e when I act in accordance with my nature I am at
peace with myself. I am accepting myself. I am pleased with myself. I
am happy.

15. On the other hand when I act contrary to my nature I am in

conflict with myself. I am unhappy with myself. So, what’s do
you need to be happy? As they say all you need to be is happy
is yourself. Which self? A kind, loving self. What do you need
to be unhappy? Again yourself, a cruel; hateful fellow is what makes
you unhappy. That’s a cake and then if you are well that’s icing so
basically, if you are a kind, loving person, you are happy person with
yourself and then when you have other things they all become luxury
for you. You follow? They will become ornaments of your life. It will
become icing on the cake.

VI Inner wealth (value for values) required to enjoy outer wealth

16. If you have all those things but not what basically you need in
terms of your inner wealth the external wealth becomes of no use to
you if you don’t have the inner wealth. The external wealth
becomes the means of happiness, enjoyment when you have
the inner wealth. Therefore, just as you make efforts to cultivate
the outer wealth you will also make efforts to cultivate the inner
wealth. This is the base of values. They are all universal values.

17. You know kindness is universal value, not confined to a few

people. Love is the universal value not belonging to somebody special
because by nature each one of us is kind. So, sometimes the question
is asked, Swamiji, is values are all subjective? What is a truth for me

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may not be a truth for you. That’s a common question. Are these
values universal values or are these values individual values,
subjective values? Meaning that what is truth to me may not be truth
to others. What is good for me may not be good for others so are they
universal values? Answer is, yes, they are universal values. These are
universal values. You know I will give you one test of how these are
universal values.

18. The test of what a value is not what I do more than depends on
what I expect from other people. All of us, are in agreement of one
thing - what we expect from other people. How we wanted to be
treated by other people. In that all of us are in agreement. I want
other people to be kind to me. You agree with me? I don’t want others
to be cruel to me. Are we in agreement? I want other people to be
truthful to me. I want others to be honest with me. Is that right? Are
you honest? Sometimes you ask you know? Are you honestly telling
me this? Are you telling me truth? Because we want other people to
be honest with us, truthful with us, kind with us. Is that not so?

19. Is there somebody in this audience who says, Swamiji, I don’t mind
if others are cruel to me, is there somebody? I don’t mind Swamiji if
they hurt me. I don’t mind if they cheat me. I hope that there is
nobody here who will say, if there is somebody here we have to send
them elsewhere. You know where? Something is there. Some problem
is here. If somebody tells me Swamiji I like when people hate me then
he needs some treatment. What kind of common people, normal
people, put it this way, as normal people all of us are in agreement in
what we expect from other people we don’t want them to hurt us. We
don’t want them to insult us. We do not want them to hurt our
feelings. We do not want them to make us uncomfortable. In as much
as nobody wants others to hurt them. That means that non-hurting or
nonviolence becomes a value, a universal value.

20. So, everybody wants others to be non-violent at least towards

themselves. Honesty becomes value because we want others to
be honest to us that means I value honesty otherwise I could not
expect that from you. The fact that I expect from you honesty that
means that honesty is valuable to me that’s why I want that. I want to
be non-hurting because non-hurting or nonviolence is valuable to me
that’s why I want it. So, this is a basis of value. You know that
nonviolence is a value. You know that truthfulness is a value. Honesty
is a value. Justice is a value. Fairness is a value because that is what
we expect from other people.

VII Universal values are intrinsic to everyone, at all times,

everywhere.

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21. All of us are born with these expectations. Nobody has told me.
Nobody need to teach me that, hey, let other people be honest with
you. Nobody needs to teach me otherwise people who did not go to
school they wanted something else. People who are illiterate, did not
have benefit of schooling may be these fellows had the right to hurt
others. Whether man is literate or illiterate, cultured or uncultured,
wealthy or poor, urban or rural, white or black, ancient or modern -
everybody at all times, under all conditions are in agreement with this
in what they expect from others. That’s called universal which is
applicable to everyone. At all time, at all places, in all
conditions what is applicable is called universal.

VIII Two way consciousness for universal values

22. Therefore, these values are universal not subjective. Not that I
want you to be kind and you want me to be cruel. No, it is not. So,
these are called universal values. We are born with these values.
Understand. Nobody needed to teach me, I know it by myself. We are
born with consciousness, you know. We are all born with
consciousness of what we expect from others. Unfortunately or
fortunately you are also conscious of another thing. You know what?
You are also conscious that other people also expect that from
me. You follow? I know what I expect from others but I also know
others expect that from me. That’s a very important dimension. I
want others to be honest to me and I know others also expect
me to be honest with them. I want others to be kind to me I know
others also expect me to be kind to them. Is it not so? Our
consciousness has two ways. Therefore, I know what you want
from me. If I deliberately tell you a lie then in my mind how do I
know myself? When I am deliberately telling a lie, let us say, am I
doing a right thing or wrong thing? How can I judge myself?

23. I don’t need a judge in a court to actually give a verdict as to what

I am first of all I myself judge when I am telling a lie to somebody am
I doing something right or wrong? In my opinion what do you think?
When I am cheating somebody for whatever reason I may have some
reasons to do that and I may have a reason to tell a lie, let us say, we
will come to that. I may have a reason to cheat somebody I may have
justification for stealing something. When I am cheating somebody
for whatever reason I may have some reasons to do that. I may have
a reason to tell a lie we will come to that. I may have a reason to
cheat somebody, I may have a justification for stealing something, I
may justify hurting somebody because I do that. In my mind do I
think that I am doing something right or doing something wrong, what
is it? Right? When I am cheating somebody am I doing something
right? When I am telling a lie, am I doing something right? I don’t
think any man will say that. At least a human mind will not say that.
An animal mind can say that because animals are not evolved enough

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therefore they don’t have this two way consciousness they have one
way consciousness. See, learn to distinguish. I have two way
consciousness, I know what I want from you and I know also
that you want that from me.

IX Guilt-outcome of violating universal values

24. That is why when I treat you in a manner other than the way I
wanted to be treated, I know I am doing something wrong. A sense of
guilt. Do you feel guilty ever? We do. If out of anger suppose I hurt
somebody; I insulted somebody later on I regret, do I not? I wish I
had not said it; I wish I had not done it. A sense of guilt. Human
being can suffer from the sense of guilt when I violate a value.
Whenever I violate a universal value, within myself I know that I have
done something wrong and I expect myself to be right as I said we
have an expectation of ourselves if we did not have it there is no
problem but fortunately or unfortunately we have an expectation of
ourselves. What is the expectation? I should be liked; I should be
good; I should be kind. Why that expectation, you know? Because
that’s what I am. The reason why I expect myself to be good and
kind is because that goodness is and kindness is my nature that’s why
there is some expectation and therefore whenever I act in a manner
which is opposite to my expectation, I know that I have done
something which is not right, this is the sense of guilt. Are you
familiar with the sense of guilt?

25. I am sure if you are a conscious person, number of times that guilt
comes because very often we lose our control; very often we get
angry, don’t we? I don’t know anybody who doesn’t get angry. Now
and then we do. Sometimes we are greedy also; sometimes we
become selfish also; sometimes we become a little cruel also;
happens. Out of cruelty, out of greediness, out of anger whenever we
do something it is going to be a violent action. You will hurt
somebody. Sometimes you will trample upon the rights of somebody.
You will feel, you have done something wrong. The sense of guilt.

26. Now, do you think a guilty person can be happy? Can you be happy
with yourself when you are guilty? What is guilt? Guilt is I am not
happy with myself. Therefore, remaining free from guilt it
becomes a very important thing you have to enjoy a healthy
mind. Is it not so? So, that is why the value of value. That non-
violence is valuable to me because non-violence is my nature.
Whenever I act in non-violent way I am in harmony with myself. At
that time I am comfortable with myself; I am happy with myself; I am
approving of myself; then you don’t need somebody else’s approval, I
tell you. You know that what you have done is right; you know that
you are telling truth. If you know you are telling truth, you don’t need
somebody’s approval. Oh, I am telling truth or you are telling truth. I

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know I am doing it. When you are a kind person, you know that you
are kind. These things are self-norms you see they are self-revealing.
What you are is self-revealing and therefore you know that you are
kind. You don’t need somebody else to approve you of you then. If
you are not sure whether you are kind or not that’s when you need
approval. If you are sure, you don’t need. So this need for seeking
approval from others comes when we do not quite approve of
ourselves. When we violate the value. We violate the universal values
then we know that we have done something wrong, we feel guilty, it
pains us, that time we are not happy with ourselves.

X Acquired values behind violation of universal values

27. Next question naturally will be Swamiji why would I violate the
values? If I want others to be kind to me how come I am not kind to
them? If according to you kindness is my nature and I like to be a
kind person, I like myself when I am kind how come I am not always
kind? How come I am not always truthful? How come I am not always
honest? Why? That is necessary questions isn’t it? So, we should
examine that also. We should examine why sometimes I am dishonest?
Usually we examine why others are dishonest. Normally, our attention
is on others. This fellow is a liar. This fellow is cruel. This fellow is
that and you are satisfied that others are like that we seem to be
alright. We seek comfort from other people violating values and that
is nice to criticize. Nice to condemn.

28. Swamiji our political leaders are like this. Our industrial leaders are
like that. Our financial leaders are as such. Our newspapers are like
that. Our reporting is, of this nature. Our television is like this. Fine,
but let’s look at our own self and let us look at how we are. I am not
suggesting that we are not good but let us identify that there is some
elements in us which need to be changed.

29. Why do I get angry? Why do I sometimes tell lies? Why am I

sometimes dishonest? Why do I sometimes hurt others? I deliberately
hurt others. Swami I am now going to make sure you know that he
doesn’t get it. I will make sure that he doesn’t get this contract. I will
make sure that he doesn’t get this girl. I want to take revenge, why?
Make sure, whatever, you know, something or the other. Why do these
things happen to us? Because we have another set of values for
ourselves. So, two kinds of values natural and acquired values.
Look at the session two which is value of value. It says two kinds of
values. Natural values and acquired values. We discussed what
natural values are in keeping with our own nature. We are born with
that consciousness. We are born with those values. We have no
choice. At the same time there are what you call acquired values.

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30. Natural values come with nature. Acquired values are acquired.
How are they acquired? These are acquired values from our
upbringing and prevailing social conditions. Our upbringing
because as we are growing up you also pickup some other values. To
give you an example, let us say here is a toddler, a little child which
is moving only on his knees not yet walking, a little toddler. In the
life of this children different phases come. Sometimes the child goes
around and picks up whatever and collects at home, have you seen
this? Sometimes from neighbour also idhar udhar se leke aata hain
sub. You know? From where do you get this? From this neighbor, that
neighbor. Sometimes children throw things away. Whatever they have
they throw away, you know? Different phases come. Sometimes they
tear off everything that comes in their way. Tear off. So, you have to
be very cautious you know. Sometimes those important things also he
takes and tears off because he doesn’t know what it is, he just enjoys.
So he is a toddler, who is in this phase who tears off whatever comes
in his way, must be enjoying it. My mother did not mind I used to tear
off some newspaper, this paper that paper, it’s okay.

31. One day some other kind of piece of paper came in my hand, a
brown looking paper. I almost was going to tear off. My Mom screams,
hey, don’t tear it off. It is money. It was a hundred rupee note. Child
doesn’t know, tears off and ran snatched away from my hand. I did
not understand why is Mom doing this. She did not snatch other piece
of paper why did she snatch away this piece of paper? Child doesn’t
understand. Okay, and it goes like that. So, on several occasions,
mother must have snatched away that kind of piece of paper so it has
registered in my mind that mother doesn’t want me to tear off that
piece of paper. I grew up somewhat. My mother was once going for
shopping to a big store. I said my mother, Mom please take me with
you. No, you stay home. Please take me with you. No. Whenever I
take you to store, you always make demands I want this and I want
that. I don’t want you to go with me. Oh, Mom, I will not ask for
anything. You please take me with you. So, Mom takes me with her.
So, she goes into the shop and you know there is a shop, big shop
and you collect things, put them in a cart and come a cash counter is
there and you pay money and this kind of things happen.

32. Now, the child while waiting at the cash counter, my attention was
arrested by some things that I saw on the cash counter there are big
jars, big jars transparent in that lots of candies were there. Some
chocolate candies and very tempting things were there. I saw those.
Fivestar was there. I like that. I ask that man standing at the counter
sir please give me that one. That fellow refused to give me. I want
that only. No. I want it. You won’t get it. He is not my mother that he
will give me what I want. He refused to give me. I was upset. My
mother finished the shopping, came, started you know, then, Maa, this
man is not giving me that candy. I told you at home you are not going

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to make any demands. Maa, please let me have that candy. Mom, took
out that orange piece of paper that is familiar to me that is called
note, it’s called money. She took it out, gave it to that man. Then,
that man gave the candies. Oh, I can get candy provided I paid
money, otherwise I don’t get it and this happened on many occasions.

33. I wanted a balloon, I wanted a little toy car, I wanted this, that,
every time money was given and that thing was obtained. Thus, I
realize that if I have money, I can get what I want. I have no money I
cannot get what I want. Therefore, because those things are valuable
to me, toys are valuable I can’t get toy without money. Therefore,
money becomes valuable. In upbringing, in course of time, money
became valuable and as I grow up I see people are respecting
those who have money. People don’t respect those people who
are poor. People respect wealthy people that’s how value of money
gets ingrained in my mind. Understand this?

34. My father was a bank manager. On the New Year day I saw several
people visiting our home, bringing all kind of gifts for my father I
don’t know why I was happy that gifts were coming. Then I discovered
that because my father was a manager, you know something,
sometimes when our servant was absent at home mother would just
call father, can you send such and such person I want some
vegetables. Then a man would come, a peon or some servant would
come from bank and he will do all different chores. Hey, because my
father is a manager. He enjoyed the position of power. So, if you have
power then you can command, you know other people and if you don’t
have power then nobody listens to you that’s how power became
important. Political people have power they can get what they want to
do. We cannot get, so power becomes important. In the newspaper
sometimes you look at the pictures whoever are the fellows who are in
front page of the newspaper, people who are famous, well known. I
also want my picture.

35. Of course, two kinds of fellows would get picture. We are not both
of them, you know. Dawood Ibrahim also gets his picture if they have
one and other fellow also so it’s both ways. I want my picture also not
the other way around. I want people to appreciate me, recognize me.
That is how as we are growing - money, power, fame all of these also
become important to us because we find that when you have those
they empower you. Money empowers you. Name and fame empower
you. You can get things done. You will become powerful. That is how
they also become important to me. They are acquired values. I did
not have these values by birth. Value of kindness I have from birth.
Nobody had to teach me. So, these are all I learnt from
experiences and I find also the society values these things. The
world values. You will always respect a person who is wealthy. They
respect people who are powerful. They respect people who are

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important. They don’t care if the fellow is poor. They don’t care for
the man walking on the street. They care for person who lives in a
palace. I also want to be like that. That is how we acquire these
other values. Now, the battle ground is prepared. We have prepared a
Kurukshetra. I am waiting for battle. There are two parties. One party
cannot fight itself. Anyway, Duryodhana challenged the Pandavas.
Fellows, you want even a needle point of land, equal to point of
needle, you have to fight with us. I think it requires two opposing
parties not just two, two opposing parties. So, now the battle ground
of mind is all set because of two opposing parties.

XI Conflict Of Values: Assimilated Vs. Unassimilated Values

(Right vs. Expediency)

36. There are two set of values natural universal values with which you
are born and acquired values which you have acquired in course of
your upbringing, in course of our contact with the society in course of
life experience. If there is a conflict between these two values,
honesty is one value but may be a business contract is another value.
If by remaining honest, I lose that business contract there is one
conflict comes now. Conflict between the natural or universal value
and acquired value and what do you think will generally win. What
value will win? Acquired value. That business contract is more
important to me than just being an honest person. What will I get
being honest? Nobody will print my photo in newspaper? On the other
hand, a big business contract, in the financial section of the Times of
India, my name will come.

37. You see this conflict arising again and again in our own mind. The
conflict between what is right and what is convenient. You
know? Between what is right and what is convenient. Therefore, this
dishonesty becomes convenient sometimes. Telling a lie becomes
convenient and that’s how we see dishonesty etc. being rampant
because a person usually wants to take a short cut wants to avoid
pain because parting with fifty thousand rupees is painful, is it not
so? Parting with money is painful and therefore I want to avoid that
pain and I violate my value of honesty, of truthfulness. This is how
values are violated. We ourselves find ourselves violating the value
when there is conflict between these two kind of values, natural
values and acquired values.

38. It is not really conflict between two kinds of values, it is conflict

between two other kind of values - assimilated values and
unassimilated values. Understand that. The value for money is
assimilated value. I know what money means and I know what
I stand to gain if I acquire money. I know what I stand to gain by
being powerful, by being famous, by name, fame, recognition I know
what I stand to gain. I don’t have any doubt because it is assimilated

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value but I do not know what I stand to gain by being honest. Can we
get anything by being honest? Nothing, Swami. By being honest or
truthful what you stand to gain? Nothing Swamiji. These fellows finish
last. It is dishonest people always go ahead honest fellows always
finish the last. Is it not so? People are truthful nobody bothers about
them Swamiji. If you know how to tell a lie at the right time that is
when you can get what you want. So, usually who do we call
successful? A fellow who is smart. Who is smart? Who can tell a lie,
who can be dishonest, who can cheat. This value for money is
assimilated value. I know what I will gain out of that. Value for
honesty is not an assimilated value. I don’t know what I stand
to gain by being honest Swamiji? If I am a truthful person, so
what? Honest, so what? By remaining honest and truthful if I don’t
get to be a CEO, what’s the use of this honesty? If I don’t get
valuable contacts what is the use of this honesty?

39. Honesty value is not assimilated. Value of truthfulness not

assimilated. Value of justice not assimilated. Value of nonviolence not
assimilated. Swamiji you have to do that. Violence in different forms
are there. I mean when there are so many small shopkeepers, so
many small shopkeepers are there in the village where I am living
since many years they are there. There was a big corporate house
puts up a huge store, offers all kinds of attractions and savings and
discounts etc. those poor shopkeepers cannot compete with them.
They are wiped out. In three years they all go out of business. This
fellow has conquered. He is successful. Is it not so? You put other
fellows out of business so that you can run your business, you can get
all your clientele that is success, is it not so? That is, yes, of course,
that is success at the cost of others. You have hurt other people. You
have tampered upon their right also to be happy.

40. You want other people to make you happy; others also may want
you to make them happy. You want other people to be kind to you.
Those fellows also expect you to be kind to them. So, you have to be
kind to them. You are cruel to them so that you get your business so
that you get your income so you can you know be a wealthy person.
This is violence and thus we become violent also. We become cruel
also. We become dishonest also. We steal also. No, we never steal.
Oh, we steal also. Do you know something called industrial spying?
Have you heard of this? You fellows are all coming from industry from
one way or the other so you must know this. Industrial spying. Some
people are expert, well-known for these things that’s how they have
come up so much, supposedly but then you know secret of this person
from some inner sources. Your own contacts in other organizations so
then you know what these fellows, what their formulas are? What
their equations are? How they do things? Then you quietly start doing
yourself. Now, those people had to spend a lot of money for
development and therefore their margin is higher you did not spend

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even for development and so you don’t need much margin. You can
throw him out of business.

41. This child labor. People have problem with child labor. Everybody
says child labor should not be there but what happens then? There are
some fellows who deliberately employ child labor because it is dirt
cheap. You pay very little, no benefits, nothing, they may not be even
on your pay roll. Thus, you save a lot of cost and your product is
relatively less expensive. Other person is honest. He doesn’t employ
child labor. He employs regular people. There the cost is more. His
product is more expensive. He cannot stand in competition with you.
So, what does he do? He also goes for child labor to remain
competitive. How violence breeds violence. You understand? How
dishonesty breeds dishonesty.

42. You need to spend a lot of m oney for effluent treatment you know
effluent treatment? You have chemical plants, process plants which
produce lot of effluent which may be you know, which pollutes water,
pollutes environment. All kinds of effluents are there. You know what
people used to do? They may still be doing it. There were people who
injected an effluent in the earth. They made more wells and with
pressure all the effluent went inside, you know, and there was nobody
knows what’s happening. Fifteen-twenty years people living in the
neighbourhood they had all kind of chemicals all sorts of metals and
colors in their water from their well because this water went these all
pollutants went in the earth. They polluted other streams of water and
many people fell sick. Some people died also. I was cruel. I don’t care
what happens to other people, cruelty, selfishness because I do not
know the value of nonviolence. I know the value of business. I know
the value of earning. I know the value of profit.

XII The Value Of Values: Freedom from inner conflict and guilt

43. I do not know what nonviolence will give me. What kindness will
give me? I cannot measure with money. Nobody actually gives any
prize for being nonviolent or kind. They will give me a prize for
getting a contract, for giving more dividends to my shareholders,
conflict between assimilated values and unassimilated values which
means that we have to assimilate the value of being kind or
nonviolent or honest. That is called value of value. We should know
how valuable these values are to us. We do not know how we are
sacrificing this subjective component for the sake of objective
component.

44. That is why we began by saying that success has two

dimensions. Two things together make success. One is the
objective dimension in terms of your earnings, in terms of your
profit, in terms of your name and fame, that’s one component.

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What’s the other component? Your own mind is the other

component - a mind enjoying freedom from conflict; a mind
which is free from hurt; a mind which is free from guilt; a mind
which is free from conflict. You need that mind also to enjoy what you
have. Is it not so?

45. So, you should remember. Everybody should know this, this is not
known. When you do to others something that you don’t want to be
done to you, you know that this is wrong it creates a sense of guilt. Is
it not? And that creates a small damage to your mind. You do wrong
things again and again and again. Every wrong action creates a
little trauma in the mind in terms of guilt, in terms of the
conflict. It is trauma. It’s not a big deal. It then goes away. You take
another thing you feel that has not done anything to you, you do it
again. Little trauma again little trauma. All these traumas build up.

46. You fellows drive, many of you may be driving motorbikes, I

assume. You enjoy speed. You don’t want any obstacles on your road.
So, there are these road bumps, these speed breakers are there. Little
bumps you have to stop at the speed breaker. I don’t think so.
Motorbike. You jump and proceed. You j ump and go. Is it not so? Who
has the patience to slow down and go through those bumps. Swami,
nobody bothers about the bumps they just go. They don’t stop. Every
time you jump at the bump there is little trauma in your back, in your
spinalcord, little trauma. You don’t feel the effect of it right away.
Second time, third time, day in and day out you keep on getting.
When you grow to the age 45 all of a sudden there is a catch in your
back. There is a slip disc. There is something. Don’t think that the
slip disc has happened overnight. It has developed over 20 years of
your being injured by small traumas every time.

47. Heart attack, it does not look like heart attack Swamiji he was a
very normal person. All of a sudden massive heart attack came no
massive heart attack comes like that it is build up of number of years
of abuse. This is a gross example, you are abusing yourself by eating
what you should not eat, you did not do what you should do, some
exercise so that’s how it all build up so someday heart attack comes. I
am unlucky. No, you are not unlucky you have violated all along. A
backache does not come like that. It comes as a result of an
accumulated effect of number of traumas, small traumas and similarly
also whenever we violate values, such as honesty, such as kindness,
such as truthfulness that is nonviolence.

48. Every time you do that the effect may not be great for you have to
feel that something damaging has happened. But each time it creates
a trauma a sense of guilt, a sense of discomfort with yourself. It goes
away. You are busy with something else. Usually, we keep ourselves
busy so that we don’t have to worry about those little things. You find

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that people are taking to more and more escape distraction because
slowly and slowly I find more and more difficult to live with myself.
There are stresses in my mind. Swamiji, life has become very
stressful. Lot of anxieties are there. You always blame life. Swamiji,
life in Bombay is very hectic life, very stressful life. Driving here is
very stressful Swamiji. Traveling in train is very stressful. I work in a
place of work in a very stressful environment. We think that stress is
created by environment. We think stress is created by train, by traffic,
by the world, by other people. Don’t think so. The stress is only
created by myself by small violations that I allowed to happen
that’s how conflicts build up slowly and slowly and slowly. A
time comes when I eat sleeping pills because I cannot sleep by
myself. I need tranquilizers because I am too anxious. I find that I
had been tolerant Swamiji, I can’t tolerate this fellow because he had
been intolerable. This all builds up.

XIII Compromising values results in unhappiness. Know the

value of values

49. Thus, understand that you have to pay price for the objective
component. If you pay the price for the subjective component then is
it a worthwhile bargain? If by the time you achieve what you want to
achieve, if the means are compromised then you have created
damage within yourself then you become incapable of enjoying
what you achieved. Swamiji, I did not have peanuts when I had
teeth. I did not have peanuts means ground nuts when I had teeth, I
have peanuts now but no teeth. You understand what I am saying?
The peanuts have come teeth have gone. How are you going to enjoy
peanuts? By enjoying peanuts, you should have peanuts as well as
teeth. Thus, we require teeth in terms of that matured disposition of
mind, which maturity comes by values.

50. When can you follow the values? When you have assimilated the
values. When there is a conflict between an assimilated value and a
non-assimilated value, the assimilated value will win. The non
assimilated value will lose the battle. Therefore, in order that you are
able to follow the values, it is necessary that we should assimilate
value meaning that we should know the value of value. We should
know that value of honesty is more valuable than the money that
comes by being dishonest. We should know that the value of non-
violence is greater than the material gain that comes by violence.
Nobody w ill be dishonest unless there is something to gain. You
understand? Nobody will be violent unless there is a reason. What’s
the reason? Because it comes into conflict with my assimilated value.
If it is not assimilated with universal value. There is no teaching
where we are told why we should speak the truth. We are never told
why I should speak truth. Don’t hurt others. Why should I not hurt
others? So, if I know speaking truth is a value. I also value, I want

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others also to speak truth but I don’t know what do I stand to gain by
speaking truth.

51. If I understand that I will gain everything by speaking the truth, by

being honest, by being non-violent I see, I gain a comfortable
disposition of mind. I gain a mind which is my friend. I gain a
mind which creates in me a sense of satisfaction. I gain a mind
wherein I approve of my own self. I gain a mind which I enjoy. I gain
a mind because of which I enjoy myself, because of which I become
free, independent, non-demanding. Ultimately, What’s the purpose of
that business? What’s the purpose of that profit? You have to enjoy it.
Understand that you gain that enjoyment and happiness by having
that mind which is emotionally matured, which has assimilated values,
which follow these values, is the means which makes us happy. So
value a value. These values to become valuable to us then alone we
should assimilate those values. Therefore, you spend time with
yourself. We need not look around for learning lessons. You have
enough experience of your own life. To review what all you went
through in the past, and what you have gained, what we have lost,
what I have gained by following value what we have lost by following
value.

52. So, the value unless it is valuable to me, let scriptures say that, let
parents say that, let teachers they can say what they say, it’s not
enough. I can follow a value as long as it’s convenient to me then I
violate it. How long can I oblige my parents? No, my father told me
how long will I oblige? As long as it is convenient to me. When it
becomes my value then I don’t oblige anybody, I oblige myself. That’s
how the value of value. We have said here, the value of values
freedom from inner conflict. Freedom from stress. All stresses are
created because of violating values. All anxieties and worries and
fears are there because of violating values. All unhappiness is there
and sadness and depression is there because of violating value. You
should know this. So, what do you stand to gain by following
value? You stand to gain freedom from inner conflict. Freedom
from stress. Freedom from anxieties. That is the value of value.
That’s how values become valuable to us. They will become part of us.

IV Spirituality is universal

53. One thing I would like to draw your attention to is that even
though I am a religious person because I am wearing this attire I also
represent, I also belong to certain tradition, Hinduism. Now and then I
talk of certain Hindu text from Bhagawad Gita but understand this
there is nothing in Hindu or non-Hindu in what we are talking about
what we are talking about is universal. The prayers also are universal
prayers. It may come from Vedas but there is nothing that is
restricted to Hinduism or particular religion or particular tradition. The

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prayers are also universal, the principles we are talking about are
also universal and what we are discussing is also universally
applicable to everybody and therefore we should not identify this
with Hinduism etc. This is universal. You find something, draw my
attention also. I may take an example it comes from scriptures etc,
because I am familiar with that but the lesson to be learnt from there
is a universal lesson and so what we are talking about is universal not
confined to a sect, a religion, a cast or creed or race or gender, man,
woman not confined to anybody. It is for human being and this is
why it is universal teaching. Sanatan means universal. It was
applicable five thousand years ago also, applicable today it always be
applicable to all the human beings wherever they are because this
teaching or discussion is based on universal or fundamental principle
which are applicable to everybody at all times and therefore we, said
nothing is religious about here, only spiritual. Spirituality is
universal.

54. A religion is a way of practicing spirituality therefore different

founders or prophets or teachers prescribe different ways of practicing
spirituality, therefore, religious tradition. Religious traditions are
many as many as human beings are, that many. It can be. Let the
religious tradition be many because people are many. People have
different needs but the spirituality is one applicable to every human.
Whatever we are talking is most spiritual rather religion is a form ,
spirituality is the spirit. More of the spirit and less of the form, forms
also we are talking about but they are all applicable to all people. Let
us keep this also in mind while you are listening to this. Thank you.

XV Interpretation of values requires genuine intention.

Practicing values requires control over temptations.

55. So, I think we can proceed w ith our discussion for the remaining
session. We said in the morning that let us now finish and come
back to the questions. While talking about the values and value of
value, we said that a value needs to be interpreted and we talked
about it. Like in Mahabharata, interpretation of value - what else
could Lord Krishna do? Suppose you criticize what Lord Krishna did
in terms of directing Pandavas for certain course of action, you will
think what else to do because it was protecting the whole body and
therefore sometimes if it may look like bending the rules but the
practical situation will demand. His intentions are genuine. With
genuine intentions you need to interpret value in the given
situation.

56. As I said, the interpretation may not be right but then you will
learn from the experience and you know why is it difficult to follow
these values because as I said following a value almost
invariably requires you to control your temptations. It is

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temptations whether for some profit, for some promotion, for

something that pressurizes you to drop a value or compromise a
value. So, you have to keep under control that internal pressure.
Well in course of time, you will come out winner because you will
gain the ability to control your temptations.

57. You will gain greater self control over yourself and thus the
inner strength that you develop you become a more confident
person. A person, who as I say enjoys a greater self worth, enjoys
a greater self comfort, enjoys a greater self confidence and more
worthy you are in your perceptions, more respectful you are of
yourself, more confident you are of yourself, not arrogant, not
hurting, not proud but self respect. Self confidence. Pride is a
negative thinking but self respect and self confidence and self
esteem are positive and desirable qualities. So, as I said suppose in
a situation, when you pass through customs or any situation and you
showed the boldness, courage to speak the truth and part with
whatever money that duty calls for. It is painful to part with the
money, no doubt. But as a result, you feel good about yourself
because you could show the strength of even parting with that
money and control your sense of greed. This is greed, temptation,
anger so these are the impulses that come in the way of following
value. You need to control those impulses to follow the value. By
controlling them, you come out stronger as a person and there may
not be an immediate gain but there is going to be a long term gain
because you will become more effective person and therefore
ultimately it pays off in terms of overall performance.

XVI Short term pain gives long term gain

58. So, I have said here short term pain, long term gain. Always
calculate short term pain, long term gain or short term gain, long
term pain these are the equations. Telling a lie and getting away the
benefit gives you short term gain but long term pain. On the other
hand, controlling your impulse and doing what is right is painful at
the moment but gives you a long term gain.

59. Just to give you an example, let us say that your value for exercise
in the morning so that you have value for good health and therefore,
you know that waking up early in the morning and doing some
exercise, doing yogasana whatever prayanama, walking, jogging
whatever you think is good. So, this is what you should do. In the
morning, when the alarm rings at 5 O’clock in the morning, a conflict
occurs. One part of mind says just forget it, you know. Oh, it is so
cozy in this bed here why not sleep for one more hour, I will do
exercise tomorrow. The temptation. Short term gain because there is
a pleasure involved in continuing to sleep and avoid that exertion of
doing exercise etc. Second day, third day and very often it happens

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that the exercise is gone. Meditation is gone. Walking is gone.

Whatever helped you is gone because of the temptation for seeking
immediate gratification so sleeping one hour gives you immediate
gratification but then there is you have to pay the price in terms of
not taking care of your health and so it can happen then that by the
time you are 45-50 your knee start paining, some cervical spondilitis
is there, the back pain is there; whatever because you did not take
care of your health when was to be taken care.

60. If you had chosen to accept the short term pain of forcing yourself
out of bed and doing what was right it would have given you a long
term gain. Short term pain, long term gain. Short term gain,
long term pain. So, violating a value short term gain which affects
your mental health long term pain. Person if does not know, now you
have to discover this in practical life whatever we are saying here as
I say you look out, you try to meet other people and learn about
them as to how they have performed in their life, objectively and
subjectively.

61. If you know some people successful but dishonest, may be good
idea to cultivate some friendship with them and learn about how
they feel. What their emotions are? What’s that they feel about
themselves? Are they satisfied with themselves? Is their life
satisfying? Are their relationships good? Is he able to enjoy his life?
Does he have vices? Does he drink? Does he smoke? Because when
you cannot deal with your mind, you have to resort to these kind of
things. Why does a person drink? Generally speaking, this habit
comes because you cannot confront your mind. You cannot be with
yourself. Moment you are with yourself your mind comes with all
kinds of conflicts. You cannot confront yourself, you will escape from
yourself. Lot of entertainments are there as self escape distraction.
Watch out. Are you running away from yourself? Are you running
away from confronting yourself? Are you engaging in activities for
the sake of activities so that you don’t have to confront yourself?
That’s not a desirable situation.

62. So, all these vices such as drinking or whatever else is there all of
these more often are only attempts to escape from yourself, not
confronting yourself and if this is the situation, that is a miserable
situation, the person is in a miserable situation. He is not a happy
person. Not a successful person. So, whether what we say here,
makes sense or not you are welcome to investigate in your own life;
in life of people whom you know and in life of other people whom
you have access and learn whether these things that we are talking
about are valid in practical life or not.

XVII Assimilate values with knowledge, reasoning/logic and

experience

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63. Understand Shruti, Yukti and Anubhava. The scriptures tell us,
you should be truthful, honest, non-violent, yukti – give reasoning
why that should be - value of value. Anubhava – Your own
experiences to verify this. If you don’t have any experiences you
learn about people who have more experiences and see whether
these things actually make sense or not or these things are valid in
practical life. Then you will have assurance then you will have value
of value, then you can confidently practice that, then you can
overcome your temptations not fall for those external obstacles. So,
remember this thing short term pain, long term gain and vice-versa.

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