How To Write Stories

How to Write Stories
NonVerbal:
Not spoken > Body Language.
Thesaurus:
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Latin thesaurus, treasury, from Greek thesauros.
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n. pl. the•sau•ri (-sôri) or the•sau•rus•es
1. A book of synonyms, often including related and contrasting words and antonyms.
2. A book of selected words or concepts, such as a specialized vocabulary of a particular field.
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The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009.
Dialogue is VISUAL
-- Not just a bunch of words.
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Watch the average conversation between two people. 90% of that conversation isn't in what's
Spoken, it's in what they are DOING while they are speaking. It's in their Body Language.
Body-language cues in your story alert the reader by SHOWING them what is going on in a
character's head without Telling them, and without resorting to using the most often repeated
word in fiction: said.
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"I love you too." She raised her balled fist and smiled with bared teeth. "Oh yes, I truly do love
you." She thrust up her middle finger.
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How to use this List.

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DON'T try to copy-paste any of this directly into your story! While the terms listed are accurate,
they're also Scientific. It's up to you to swap out the scientific terms for more fitting literary
phrases to suit your story.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was angry. "How dare you...?"
Body language cue:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anger:
a. Jaws tensed to a biting position; "I'm going to bite you!"
Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth. "How dare you...?"
Got it?
The NONVERBAL THESAURUS

A Writer's Cheat-Sheet to BODY LANGUAGE CUES
KEY: The gesture; the meaning behind the gesture.
ANGER
Annoyance, Resentment, Rage
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a. Jaws tensed to a biting position; "I'm going to bite you!"
b. Chest expansion, squaring of shoulders, and/or hands-on-hips; "I'm bigger than you."
c. Cut-off and head-jerk cues; "No. I don't want that."
d. Hand-behind-head / hand-above-head. "I may or may not strike you."
e. Fists, palm-down beating gestures. "I will strike you!"
f. Frowning and tense-mouth expressions; "Don't make me bite you."
g. Growling voice tones; "Consider me a threat."
h. Staring; "I consider you a threat."
I. Gaze avoidance; the head is turned fully away to one side; "Run while I am not looking and I
will not attack you."
DISGUST
Revulsion, Loathing, Nausea
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a. Curled upper lip, a retracted upper lip, and mouth movements. "I feel like vomiting."
b. Digestive sounds of revulsion. Guttural sounds ("ach" or "ugh"); "I AM going to vomit!"
c. Narrowed or partly closed eyes; "I don't want to see that!"
d. Lowered brows of the frown face. "I don't want to smell that!"
e. Backward head-jerks and side-to-side head-shakes. "I don't want to taste that!"
f. Visible protrusions of the tongue. "I can see that it tastes bad."
FEAR
Anxiety, Apprehension, Dread
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a. Angling body away; "Don't touch me."
b. Release of underarm scent; "Go away! I am unappealing! I stink!"
c. Increase in breathing rate. "I'm going to run away!"
d. Trembling and/or chattering teeth. "I want to run away!"
e. Crouching. "Don't hurt me!"
f. Crying. "I'm hurt enough!"
g. Displacement gestures; "How did THIS happen?"
h. Fast eye-blink rate. "I don't believe what I'm seeing!"
i. Fear grin. "I'm friendly! Honest!"
j. Widely opened flashbulb eyes. "I can't believe this!"
k. Unconscious escape motions designed to remove a body part, or parts, from danger (e.g.,
flexing the neck to lower and protect the head). "Don't hit me!"
l. Freeze reactions; "Am I in danger?"
m. Hair-bristling; "I feel danger!"
n. Accelerated heart rate. "I'm getting ready to run away!"
o. Tightened shoulder muscle tension; "It's going to hit me!"
p. Screaming; "Don't touch me!"
q. Squirm cues; "Let go of me."
r. Staring eyes with wide-dilated pupils; "How much danger am I in?"
s. Sweaty palms. "I don't wanna touch that!"
t. Tense-mouth. "Don't make me bite you."
u. Throat-clearing. "I want to vomit."
v. Audibly tense tone-of-voice, either low and close to a growl, "I'm warning you..." or high to
present a non-threatening sound. "I'm not a threat!"
w. Yawning. "I have no fangs, see? I'm not a predator!"
HAPPINESS
Contentment, Well-being, Joy
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a. Laugh or smile
b. Tears; "I am overwhelmed."
Unlike most other facial signs of emotion, the smile is subject to learning and conscious control.
In the U.S., Japan, and many other societies, children are taught to smile on purpose, e.g., in a
courteous greeting, whether or not they actually feel happy. A true (i.e., involuntary) smile,
crinkles the skin around the outside corners of our eyes, forming "crow's feet" or smiling eyes.
SADNESS
Sorrow, Unhappiness, Depression, Gloom
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a. Bowing postures; "I'm terribly sorry."
b. Cry face and lip-pout; "Please don't hurt me anymore."
c. Gazing-down; "I am not a challenge."
d. Slumped flexed-forward posture of the shoulders; "I give up."
e. Audible sigh; "I give up."
f. Compressed lips; "No, I don't want that."
The facial features constrict as if to seal-off contact with the outside world. In acute sadness,
muscles of the throat constrict and repeated swallowing occurs, the eyes close tightly, and then
tears.
UNCERTAINTY
Indecision, Misgiving, Doubt
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a. Involuntary sideward eye movements; "Where is the danger coming from?"
b. Self-touching gestures; "Am I still in one piece?"
c. Frown; "I don't want that…"
d. Hand-behind-head; "I don't like it."
e. Side-to-side head-shakes "No."
f. Sideward head-tilts; "I don't want that…"
g. Lip-pout, lip-purse, and tense-mouth expressions "That looks like it tastes bad."
h. Palm-up gestures; "I surrender."
i. Shoulder-shrug; "Don't touch me."
Men will rub their chins with their hand, tug at the lobes of their ears, or rub their forehead or
cheeks or back of the neck, in reaction to the increased tension. Male college students express
uneasiness by changing their sitting posture to a more direct body orientation. "I'm going to
defend myself."
Women will put a finger on their lower front teeth with the mouth slightly open or pose a finger
under the chin. "See? I have no fangs, I am not a predator." Female college students show
uneasiness by sitting still and arm-crossing. "Don't touch me."
SUBMISSION
Acknowledgment, Compliance, Surrender
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a. Turning away "No thank you."
b. body-bend, body-shift, and bowing "Please don't…"
c. displacement cues "How did THIS happen?"
d. facial flushing; Blood rushing to enhance the senses: hearing, sight, taste, smell. ; Blood
rushing to enhance the senses: hearing, sight, taste, smell.
e. freeze reactions "Am I in danger?"
f. gaze-down; "I am not a threat."
g. give-way; "I will not challenge you."
h. head-tilt-side; "Don't…"
i. Mimic of superior's body movements "I will not challenge you."
j. laughing; "I will not challenge you."
k. palms-up; "I surrender."
l. exaggerated personal distance; "Don't touch me."
m. pigeon toes; "I can't chase you, I am not a threat."
n. shoulder-shrugging; "Don't touch me."
o. shyness; "Don't notice me."
p. difficulty gazing directly at, or cross lines of sight with, a dominant individual. "I don't want to
challenge you."
q. higher vocal pitch "I'm weak, and helpless."
r. yawning; "No fangs, see? I am not a threat."
(Note the considerable overlap between expressions of submission and fear.)
DOMINANCE
Influence, Power, Control
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a. Eyebrow raise; "Are you challenging me?"
b. Hands-on-hips posture; "I'm ready for battle."
c. Head-tilt-back; "I dare you to bite me."
d. Palm-down gesture; "Do I need to strike you?"
e. Swagger walk; "I'm stronger than you."
f. Table-slap; "I will strike you!"
g. Lower tone of voice, close to a growl. "Don't make me bite you."
h. Wedge-shaped Chest expansion, squaring of shoulders; "I'm bigger than you."
i. Direct stare; "I consider you a threat."
j. Looming with chin down; "I will bite you."
Aggressive behaviors include the head brought forward toward another person, chin out and
pushed forward, wrinkled skin on the bridge of the nose, and a sharp movement of the head
towards the other person, as though in preparation to bite.
The Business Suit

Built-in Aggression
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The business suit allows a powerful, influential 'wedge-like' silhouette for business and public
affairs.
Exaggerated Chest expansion, squaring of shoulders Strength cues are tailored into every Brooks
Brothers® suit. The coat's squared shoulders exaggerate the size and strength of the upright
torso. Flaring upward and outward, lapels enhance the illusion of primate pectoral strength.
Dropped to fingertip level, the jacket's hemline visually enlarges the upper body to gorilla-like
proportions. Pads and epaulets cover inadvertent shrugs and slips of the shoulder blades, to mask
feelings of submission or uncertainty in the boardroom--or on the battlefield.
LOVE
Affection, Devotion, Attachment
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a. Physical contact, including hugs and kisses. "I like you."
b. Increased breathing rate; "I want to smell you."
c. Courtship behavior; "I want to make love to you."
d. Direct gaze with wide pupils; "I find you pleasing to look at."
e. Facial flushing; blood rushing to enhance the senses: hearing, sight, taste, smell.
f. Head-tilt-side; "Do I have your attention?"
g. Increased heart rate; to enhance the senses: hearing, sight, taste, smell.
h. Mimic of behavior and/or appearance; "We make a set, we belong together."
i. Softened tone of voice; "If you want to hear what I say, come closer."
j. Closing personal distance; "I want to touch you."
Summary of common Facial Cues.

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1. Nose:
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a) nostril flare; "Oh that scent!" (arousal, rivalry)
b) nose wrinkle; (disgust)
2. Lips:
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a) grin (happiness, friendship, contentment)
b) grimace (fear)
c) lip-compression (anger, emotion, frustration)
d) canine snarl (disgust)
e) lip-pout (sadness, submission, uncertainty)
f) lip-purse (disagree)
g) sneer (contempt)
3. Brows:
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a) frown (anger, sadness, concentration)
b) brow-raise (intensity)
4. Tongue:
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tongue-show (dislike, disagree)
5. Eyelids:
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a) flashbulb eyes (surprise)
b) widened (excitement, surprise)
c) narrowed (threat, disagreement)
d) fast-blink (arousal)
e) normal-blink (relaxed)
6. Eyes:
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a) big pupils (arousal, fight-or-flight)
b) small pupils (rest-and-digest)
c) direct-gaze (affiliate, threaten)
d) gaze cut-off (dislike, disagree)
e) gaze-down (submission, deception)
f) CLEMS* (thought processing) This is an acronym for "Conjugate Lateral Eye Movement."
When the eyes move sideward (to the right or left) in response to a question. Rightward
movement is associated with symbolic thinking, or Memory, (what we KNOW,) while Leftward
Movement is associated with visual thinking, or Creativity, (what we INVENT).
In conclusion...
-- Don't just SAY it. SHOW IT!
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Skip the dialogue "he said / she said" tags altogether by using Body-language cues and
ACTIONS to SHOW what the characters mean when they say: "I love you."
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"I love you too." She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."
"I love you too." She dropped her chin and pouted. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."
"I love you too." She glared straight at him. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."
"I love you too." She turned away and wiped the tear from her cheek. "Oh yes, I truly do love
you."
"I love you too." She raised her balled fist and smiled with bared teeth. "Oh yes, I truly do love
you." She thrust up her middle finger.
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Enjoy!
Reference:
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The Center for Nonverbal Studies (CNS):
http://center-for-nonverbal-studies.org/
Looking for more of my Writing Tips & Tricks?
Advanced Plotting:
The CHARACTER ARC
PLOT ARC: The events that happen while the characters make other plans.
CHARACTER ARC: The emotional roller-coaster that the character suffers while dealing with
the Plot.
Understanding Plot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To make a story a cohesive whole, every single thing in it must be there for a reason. Every
single character, object, location, and event must push toward the ending you have planned even
if it doesn't look that way to the casual observer. In short, every scene in the story should either
illustrate a characteristic attribute of a main Character or be an Event that makes your ending
happen.
What the Character Arc does is map out the Emotional path your characters need to take to grow
and change into the heroes and heroines your story needs to achieve your story's ending.
For the record, a Character Arc can be used all by itself as the plot-line for a story or in addition
to an actual Plot Arc such as The Heroic Journey, or any of hundreds of Plot Arcs found in books
and on the 'net.
My personal choice is to use a Character Arc in addition to a Plot Arc, but that's just me.
The 7 Stages of Grief:

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Shock &Denial – Pain &Guilt – Anger & Bargaining – Despair & Reflection –
Precipice & Choice – Reconstruction & Adjustment – Acceptance & Hope
Why Grief?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stories are about CHANGE; about adapting and overcoming circumstancing that should take the
characters down physically AND emotionally -- and that takes Angst.
In a solidly built story, both hero and villain change and develop emotionally as well as
physically. Changing takes suffering. Both the hero and the villain should suffer emotionally and
physically to make those personal changes happen.
Think about how hard it is for YOU to change your mind about liking or disliking anyone. What
would it take to change your mind? That's the level of suffering - of Angst - you need.
However, the ultimate difference between the Hero and the Villain is the Villain's failure to face
his fears and make the final sacrificial emotional change. This inability to change and Mature is
what allows the hero to take him down.
In short, in a battle between Maturity & Immaturity, Maturity always wins.
This isn't fiction. This is Fact. Without maturity, and the emotion of Compassion that comes with
it, the human race would have wiped itself out in petty selfish squabbles ages ago. In fact, it
almost did as recently as WWII.
What causes ANGST?

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"A change of circumstance of any kind (a change from one state to another) produces a loss of
some kind (the stage changed from) which will produce a grief reaction. The intensity of the
grief reaction is a function of how the change-produced loss is perceived. If the loss is not
perceived as significant, the grief reaction will be minimal or barely felt. Significant grief
responses which go unresolved can lead to mental, physical, and sociological problems. " -
Editorial - TLC Group, Dallas Texas
Everyone deals with one form of angst or another on a daily basis.
The Dead Battery

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're on your way to work. You go out to your car, put the key in the ignition and turn it on.
You hear nothing but a grind; the battery is dead. Think about how you typically react: What's
the first thing you do?
1. SHOCK & DENIAL:

"Oh no! No! No! No! Not the battery!" You try to start it again. And again. You check to make
sure that everything that could be draining the battery is off: radio, heater, lights, etc. and then try
it again. And again…
2. PAIN & GUILT:

"Damn it... Why does this crap always happen to me? Sure, I had problems starting it yesterday,
but I didn't think it was this bad."
3. ANGER & BARGAINING:

"Start damn it!" Perhaps you slam your hand on the steering wheel? Then you try it again.
"Damn you! Start! Start! Start! Please car, if you will just start one more time I promise I'll buy
you a brand new battery, get a tune up, new tires, belts and hoses, and keep you in perfect
working condition…"
4. DESPAIR & REFLECTION:

"It won't start. Crap. If only I'd taken it to the shop when I had the chance."
5. PRECIPICE & CHOICE:

"Crap, crap, crap... I need to get to work! Should I call in to work and tell them I'm not coming
in, or just say I'm going to be late?"
6. RECONSTRUCTION & ADJUSTMENT:

"I need the cash too badly to skip out of work; especially now with the car. I'll call a taxi or
maybe my friend and see if they can get me to work?" You pick up the cell phone and start
dialing numbers.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE:

"I'll call the mechanic from work and ask them to look at my car. Hopefully, it won't be too
expensive to fix it."
STORY Stages of the Character Arc
1. Shock & Denial – "This can't be happening to me!"

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An Inciting Event has happened to ruin the Protagonist's blissful ignorance. Rather than deal
with it the Protagonist keep going as though it never happened: "I'm busy! Go away!"
In The Thirteenth Warrior – Ibn Fadlan is an Arab noble who is literally pulled into a Viking
adventure he wants no part of.
2. Pain & Guilt – "If only I hadn't..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The situation is no longer avoidable. It's right there staring them in the face and the Protagonist
suspects that what happened is their own damned fault – even if it isn't.
In The Thirteenth Warrior – Ibn knows for a fact that he'd been sent out into the far reaches of
civilization because he'd fallen in love with a noble's wife. However, his own mouth is what gets
him into trouble with the Vikings -- and why they decided to take him with them on their
monster hunt.
3. Anger & Bargaining – "Screw You!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The main character does everything in his power to wiggle back out of the situation by way of
threats, bribes, and outright begging. This is also where the Antagonist has his best chance of
strong-arming the Protagonist into getting what they want by offering a quick solution – a
bargain – that the Protagonist simply cannot refuse.
In The Thirteenth Warrior – Ibn has finally arrived in the far distant land and learned the
language of the Vikings. It is then that he finds out exactly what sort of barbarous monsters he
and his 12 companions are expected to defeat – and that they are in the thousands. To make
matters worse, the king of that land is old and his son power hungry.
4. Despair & Reflection– "We're going to die."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is where your characters realize exactly what they're up against and just how overwhelming
the enemy truly is. Not only is their boat surrounded by alligators, a few more are in the boat
with them disguised as friends.
In The Thirteenth Warrior – Ibn and the Vikings learn that the monsters are undefeatable. The
Great Hall can not be defended. There are just too many. Another solution must be found.
5. Precipice & Choice – "Give up or go down fighting?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quite literally trapped in a "damned if you do, and damned if you don't" situation, desperation
forces the Protagonist to make a personal Sacrifice during an emotionally heavy Ordeal (often
provided by the Antagonist.) This often means facing the Protagonist's main debilitating fear --
and conquering it. This success gives them the inner strength to deal with their situation.
In The Thirteenth Warrior – In the hopes of taking out the two leaders of the monster tribe, Ibn
and the Vikings sneak into the Monsters' vast caves with the full knowledge that it's a suicide
mission. During this sneak attack, Ibn and the Vikings face a number of their fears and conquer
them.
6. Reconstruction & Adjustment – "Okay, so here's the plan..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Protagonist finally gives up and commits himself to what needs to be done. Home is so far
away it no longer matters. The problem at hand matters.
In The Thirteenth Warrior – Ibn and the Vikings have succeeded in taking out one of the leaders,
but the other still survives. An attack is coming and there is nothing they can do but try to defend
themselves.
7. Acceptance & Hope– "We'll make them regret messing with us!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With nothing left to lose, they throw themselves into the fray.
In The Thirteenth Warrior – Knowing that they are vastly outnumbered, Ibn and the Vikings
fully expect to die, leaving them nothing left to fear. However, there is still the chance that the
final leader will show his face. If one of them can succeed in killing him, hopefully that will stop
the invasion before the monsters kill every last man, woman, and child.
"Must I use Grief?"

Does my character's arc have to be so…depressing?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the Stages of Grief, the word "Grief" is actually misleading. The stages aren't strictly about
crushing depression. They merely map the cycle of someone under emotional pressure created by
conflicts; and story conflict should create emotional pressure for your characters. Never forget:
Stories need Emotional conflict to be fulfilling.
However, the emotional conflict doesn't have to be Horrific! The stages can be softened.
For example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shock & Denial can become Indifference
- "So what?"
Pain & Guilt – Self-reproach

- "Okay, so maybe I could have...?"
Anger & Bargaining - Annoyance

- "You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours. Okay?"
Despair & Reflection - Exasperation

- "How do I always get myself into these messes?"
Precipice & Choice - Aggravation

- "You know what? I don't need this crap!"
Reconstruction & Adjustment – Accommodation

-- "That's one less problem to deal with."
Acceptance & Hope - Relief

- "Oh, now I have time to do other things."
"Do these stages go in EXACTLY this order?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Denial ALWAYS comes First. Acceptance ALWAYS goes Last. The others can be juggled
around as you please. Feel free to Experiment!
"Where the heck did you find these Stages?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Human Psychology. You can look it up on Google by typing in: stages of grief.
"Are there Other maps for Character Arcs?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Absolutely! Any human behavior pattern can be used as a Character Arc map. "The Stages of
Grief" is merely the easiest to work with and most commonly used.
In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Using a Character Arc is one of the best ways to enrich an otherwise dry event driven story.
However, that's not the only function it serves.
Outlining a Character Arc for each of your three main characters (Hero, Ally, Villain,) is your
most powerful Secret Weapon toward keeping your characters from running all over you.
Knowing your Characters' emotional stage allows you to choose the events and situations that
will Force your characters to make the decisions needed to make your ending happen.
After all, it's YOUR story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-
published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is
not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative
style, by all means, IGNORE IT.
Looking for more of my Writing Tips & Tricks?
------Original Message------
I hear the term 'foreshadowing' a lot. That's when you hint at stuff to come, right? So yeah, but
how do I DO it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Foreshadowing is when the opening scene of a story is a kind of nutshell prophecy for the
whole story.
* In a Horror, this is when the originating Bad Thing happens.

* In a Mystery or Crime story, it's when the first victim is slain, and/or object (McGuffin) goes
missing.
* In a Romance this is where the main character meets their soon-to-be lover for a fleeting but
memorable moment.
* In a Sci-fi, this is where the ruling Theory is presented.
* In a Gothic, this is where the main character transforms into a monster for the first time.
This also reveals the Premise, or ruling argument that the story is trying to illustrate; what the
story is trying to Prove.
• The results of Revenge

• The path of Ambition
• The reality of Love
• The sacrifices one makes for Science
• The pain of being Different
The Story
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The meat of the story should fulfill that prophecy using twists, turns, and surprises that compel
the reader to Keep Reading to discover 'what's really going on?' Never forget: The readers
DON'T want to see what's coming. They want to figure it out THEMSELVES.
However, if you intend to use (what looks like) chance and coincidence to move your plot you're
going to need careful preparation. Using deus ex machina (situations, objects, and helpers that
were just suddenly THERE without explanation,) is unacceptable. The author should NEVER
pull a rabbit out of their hat simply to rescue their hero.
The trick is to put the plot element into your story EARLY without making the reader aware of
its importance. Never telegraph your punches. Every choice made MUST seem logical for that
character.
The Ending
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The last part is what that prophecy brought about--what happened BECAUSE of the events in
the story.
* Were the guilty punished?

* Was the lost object or person found? Plus who did it and why?
* Did the lover gain the attention of their beloved?
* Was the scientific theory convincing? (Or horrifying enough?)
* Did the monster reconcile with their nature?
Always complete each circle you began. Solve EVERY problem presented, no matter how small.
Any unsolved problems become Plot Holes your readers WILL notice and call you on. "Hey,
whatever happened with...?"
The easiest way to do this is by keeping your Main cast SMALL.
* Hero
* Ally (buddy or lover)
* Villain
Side characters are those who occupy places in the story: the waitress, parents, coworkers, the
beat cops..., but don't actually change anything. Main characters are the characters whose actions
actually affect the plot.
The more Main characters you have, the more problems you add--which means the more story
you have to write to solve those problems.
Enjoy!
Writing ANGST!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One way to add excitement to your story is by adding lots of bad-guys, also known as
EXTERNAL Conflict. Another way is by adding INTERNAL Conflict, more commonly known
as Angst.
I'm sure most of you have noticed by now that most movie characters, and far too many book
characters, are One-Dimensional. They do stuff, but they don't face any personality issues: a
hang-up, a fear, paranoia, a moral code, a love interest, a strong dislike… Or worse, they do have
all these things, but they never really affect the story.
There's a Plot Arc, things happen, but no Character Arc. The things that happen don't affect the
characters emotionally.
Where's the ANGST?
Answer these two questions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. What is your character's biggest character flaw?
(Think: 7 Deadly Sins.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Apathy/Passive-aggression (Sloth)
• Addiction (Lust)
• Obsession (Greed)
• Resentment (Envy)
• Hate/Revenge (Wrath)
• Avarice (Gluttony)
• Arrogance (Pride)
2. What is the worst possible thing that could happen to them in the story?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Add the answers to these two questions together and voila…! Instant Angst.
"When should one introduce the personality flaw that leads to the Angst?"
-- Chapter One is good, HOWEVER…!
~ CAUTION ONE! ~
Don't toss in a personality issue you don't intend to use!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rule of Mystery Fiction states:
-- "If the gun is shown in Chapter One, it better go off by Chapter Three -- and there had better
be a damned good reason for that gun to be there."
The Rule of Erotic Fiction:

-- "If the Kiss is shown in Chapter One, the Sex better happen by chapter three -- and there had
better be a damned good reason for that Kiss to be there."
These rules should apply in ANYTHING you put in a story. No matter what it is, if you have it
in the story, you better have a use for it fairly quickly, and that use had better turn the plot. If it
DOESN'T affect the plot in some way, shape or form, you've just made a PLOT HOLE, and I
guarantee that someone will not only see it, they'll call you on it. It could be a fan who writes
you a concerned letter, "Whatever happened with…?" or worse, a Reviewer read by thousands.
This includes Emotional Conflict.
The Rule of CHARACTER DRIVEN Fiction:

-- "If the Personality Flaw is shown in Chapter One, the first Emotional Crisis better happen by
Chapter Three -- and there had better be a damned good reason for that Emotional Crisis to be
there."
~ CAUTION TWO! ~
The fastest way to write a story that you won't be able to finish, is by writing about an
emotional issue you don't know how to FIX!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When your main character has a personal hang-up, it not only needs to be addressed, it needs to
be SOLVED. Only the Villain can get away with an unsolved personal hang-up. In fact, this
unsolved personal issue is WHY the Villain traditionally LOSES to the Hero. It's as simple as,
the Hero adapts, the Villain does not, giving the Hero an advantage the Villain literally cannot
deal with.
Making ANGST Happen:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Character Arc = The Stages of Grief
Denial – Anger – Negotiation - Despair – Acceptance
Why Grief?
-- The best stories are all about Personal CHANGE, about Adapting to and Overcoming physical
AND emotional circumstances that should take them down. This is where dramatic tension is
generated. Think about how hard it is for YOU to change your mind about liking or disliking
anyone. What would it take to change your mind? That's the level of suffering - of Angst - your
characters need.
What causes ANGST?

~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Breaks out the text-book…) Angst is caused by a change of circumstance that produces a feeling
of loss. This triggers the reaction of grief. The intensity of the grief depends on the importance of
loss. If the loss is perceived as minor, then the moment of grief will be minimal and barely felt.
However, unresolved and severe loss can lead to mental, physical, and sociological problems.
Cool huh?
And everyone deals with one form of angst or another on a daily basis.
Example: The Dead Battery

~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- You're on your way to work. You go out to your car, put the key in the ignition and turn it on.
You hear nothing but a grind; the battery is dead. Think about how you typically react: What's
the first thing you do?
DENIAL – "Oh no! No! No! No! Not the battery!" You try to start it again. And again. You
check to make sure that everything that could be draining the battery is off: radio, heater, lights,
etc., and then try it again. And again…
ANGER - "Screw you, you stupid car! I should have junked you years ago." Perhaps you slam
your hand on the steering wheel? "I should just leave you out in the rain and let you rust!"
NEGOTIATION - "Oh please car, if you will just start one more time I promise I'll buy you a
brand new battery, get a tune up, new tires, belts and hoses, and keep you in perfect working
condition…"
DESPAIR - "It won't start. I give up. What's the use?"
ACCEPTANCE - "Okay, it's dead. I had better go call a friend and see if they can get me to
work."
USING the Stages of Grief for the Character Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLOT ARC is what happens to the characters.
CHARACTER ARC is how the Characters react Emotionally to those events.
If you are writing a Short story, the Character Arc (the Stages of Grief) can be used as an outline
for your entire story.
Stage One: Denial

Stage Two: Anger
Stage Three: Negotiation (Sacrifice)
Stage Four: Despair
Stage Five: Acceptance
However, if you intend to write a full length novel, you may want to ADD a Plot Arc too.
Plot Arc
~~~~~~~~~~~~
0 - Introduction
1 - Inciting event
2 - Defiance
3 - Reversal <-- The worst possible thing that could happen.
4 - Crisis
5 - Ordeal
6 - Confrontation
0 - Consequences
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Character Arc + Plot Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~
0 - Introduction
1 - Denial - Inciting event
2 - Anger - Defiance
3 - Negotiation - Reversal
4 – Despair - Crisis
5 - Sacrifice - Ordeal
6 - Acceptance - Confrontation
0 - Consequences
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looks a little different, and a little more complicated, doesn't it? That's because a new stage has
been added the Stages of Grief: Sacrifice.
Sacrifice is the one thing your character does not want to do. It's the moment they face their
worst fear, or their biggest hang-up and make a choice they cannot take back: Go on, Give up, or
Give in? Fight, Flight, or Forfeit.
Consider the following diagram a Cheat Sheet!
The Plot Arc & the Character Arc

In ACTION!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The movie, 'SECRETARY'
The Hero & Heroine's (Semi/Uke) Mirrored Issue:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both characters feel that PAIN = LOVE, however, they both express this in opposite fashions.
• She uses Physical Pain on HERSELF to relieve her Emotional Pain by 'cutting.'
• He uses Physical Pain on OTHERS to relieve his Emotional Pain through disciplinary actions.
Plot arc
# - Character Arc
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Introduction
0 – Talented & Troubled
Boy meets Girl – Mirrored Issues trigger Emotional Conflict
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• A wonderful typist, but otherwise clueless, girl becomes a secretary for a dominating, but soft-
hearted, lawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inciting Event
1 - Denial – Instigation
Response to Emotional Conflict exposes Issues.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Her desire to please him drives her to cut her clothing.
• He sees this and recognizes her "self-punishment." He demands that she stop her self-
destructive behavior.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Defiance
2 - Anger – Provoked
Issues instigate a Dilemma prompting a Fight/Flight response
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• She goes on a date and is seen by her Lawyer.
• The lawyer's emotional conflict (his growing feelings for her,) drives him to begin disciplining
her at work. He spanks her for a typing mistake.
• The secretary discovers that his spanking brings her an emotional release and an emotional
connection to her lawyer. She begins to encourage his discipline by making more mistakes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reversal
3 - Negotiation – Intolerable Surrender or Unacceptable Rescue
Conditional compliance to resolve Dilemma
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Despite the fact that his secretary is blooming right before his eyes, the lawyer sees his
behavior as being destructive. He decides that he is wrong in his discipline and stops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crisis
4 – Despair - Reversal (Worst Case Scenario)
Disaster strikes bringing Emotional Consequences - Issues Surface
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Desperate to get her lawyer to discipline her, and give her the emotional connection she craves,
she mails him a worm. (He truly hates bugs.)
• The lawyer discovers that he cannot stop disciplining her, (she won't let him,) and fires her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ordeal
5 - Sacrifice – Forfeit & Surrender
Desperation forces confrontation of Issues & Emotional Conflict
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Her boyfriend proposes marriage.
• Out of guilt over HIS feelings for her, and pain at losing her lawyer, she agrees. In her wedding
dress, she realizes that she does not love her boyfriend, she loves her lawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confrontation
6 - Acceptance - Bitter-sweet Revelation & Talents Reborn
Acceptance of Issues presents solution to Crisis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• In her wedding dress, she confronts her lawyer. She demands that he love her.
• He insists that what he's doing is wrong.
• She insists that it's not – that it's just a different kind of love. They belong together.
• He demands that she sit at his desk – with her hands flat on the surface -- until he comes for
her. (It's a test.) He doesn't believe that she could possibly love him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Resolution
0 – A Promise Kept
Emotional Conflict resolved - Relationship secured
~~~~~~~~~~~~
• She sits at his desk for days, dealing with family and friends about her personal choices
concerning who she loves, and why.
• The lawyer has been monitoring her progress the entire time and realizes that she does love
him, just as he is and for what he is. He comes for her.
• Happily ever after – for them.
The END.
Enjoy!
I SUCK at commas big-time. I tend to pull a "Mark Twain"; I sprinkle them in…wherever to
break up the monotony of the sentence. This article is my attempt to hammer the rules into my
brain.
An Unkindness of COMMAS
What the heck are Commas for, anyway?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Besides abusing the sanity of the writer, the comma exists to help readers organize information
in a sentence. It makes all the stuff the author is trying to say easier to swallow. Without them,
sentence bits and pieces collide into one another causing confusion; rather like a train-wreck,
though not nearly as exciting.
Just in case you'd like to know who made up all these comma rules, I got most of them from
Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" the grammar handbook used by every publishing house in
America, and a few overseas. The rest came from my editors.
To get a good idea of how commas work, let's take a look at what they are supposed to do -- and
some major screw-ups.
Doing it RIGHT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Commas separate items in a series.
The werewolf had fleas, a couple of ticks, and a very slight case of mange.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. Commas separate two independent clauses connected by a coordinating conjunction

(and, or, nor, but, so...,) and the comma goes IN FRONT of the word -- not behind it!
Several vampires were writhing on the dance floor, and a dozen more were scattered about the
bar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. Commas set off introductory clauses and phrases.
When the gargoyle crashed through the plate glass window, the housewife handed him the
broom to clean up his mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. Commas set off non-restrictive (non-essential) clauses, phrases, and modifiers from the
rest of the sentence.
a) The restrictive (essential) clause:
Two fallen angels, who frequently dangled from the church tower, were throwing rotten
tomatoes at the gargoyles.
a) Non-restrictive (non-essential) clause:
Chateau Dracula, located in the green hills of Tuscany, hosted the vampire prince's inauguration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. Commas separate descriptive modifiers of equal rank. If you can use your adjectives
interchangeably and can put in an "and" between them, put the comma there.
The Court simply could not predict the next activity of the fickle, explosive vampire queen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. Commas set off parenthetical expressions. (Stuff that could be put in parentheses, but
isn't.)
The werewolf council members, you may recall, voted themselves a thirty-five percent pay
increase last year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. Commas are used when the absence of a pause can cause confusion.
For the ghosts that haunted the chateau, moving the chairs around in the dining room was
exhausting work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. Commas are used to set off participle phrases that modify some part of the independent
clause.
The Vampire Court adjourned, having successfully defeated the bill that would have taxed
imported medical blood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doing it WRONG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. DON'T use a comma to separate two independent clauses WITHOUT a coordinating
conjunction. Doing this makes a "comma splice."
WRONG: The number of vampires dropped by 3 percent, the werewolf population rate stayed
constant.
a. Instead of a Comma, try using a semicolon(;):
The number of vampires dropped by 3 percent; the werewolf population rate stayed constant.
b. Instead of a Comma, try using a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but, so...,) with a
comma BEFORE it:
The number of vampires dropped by 3 percent, but the werewolf population rate stayed constant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. DON'T use a comma to introduce a subordinate clause. (Putting a comma before the
word "because" is one of the biggest offenders.)
The vampire princess decided to visit the protest site because she needed a first hand report.
The vampire princess decided to visit the protest site (subordinate clause -- > because she
needed a first hand report.
But...! If the subordinate clause is being used to introduce the sentence, a comma does go at
the end of the introductory phrase.
Because she needed a firsthand report, the vampire princess decided to visit the protest site.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. DON'T use a comma to separate a noun or pronoun from its reflexive (myself, himself,
herself).
The werewolf king himself will discipline the pack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. DON'T use a comma between a word and a phrase to create a "false series."
Example of a confusing False Series:
The archeologists discovered seven bodies, six medieval knights, and one court jester.
(WOW! That's a lot of bodies!)
In proper perspective using an m-dash:
The archeologists discovered seven bodies -- six medieval knights, and one court jester.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. DON'T use a comma IN FRONT of a partial quotation.
The candidate for court wizard charged that the incumbent was "a charlatan of the lowest order."
BUT...! If the quotation is a full sentence, you DO use a comma –- in front of it:
The incumbent for court wizard asked, "How would you like to spend the rest of your existence
as a leaky pot?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exercises: Where do the following sentences need commas?
(This ISN'T an assignment, you are Not expected to turn in your answers!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Teratology the study of deformities derives its name from the Greek word for monster.
2. Hearing the wolf howl caused Zach to look up in anticipation and delight.
3. Gothic music has a distinctly European sound yet it has often received more attention in
Tokyo than in Paris.
4. All roads may lead to Rome but the vampire and his designated victim got hopelessly lost
trying to drive there from Naples.
5. Dracula Tower one of the finest examples of soaring art deco yet gothic architecture in
America is located in New York New York.
6. The most hard working of all the haunts in the chateau she despaired when others received
substantially higher praise.
7. You know I can't tolerate such behavior Vladimir.
8. Exhausted and penniless the vampire stared at the brightly lit interior imagining a warm fire a
bed with clean white linens and a willing Reubenesque victim wearing nothing but handcuffs and
a smile.
9. It was a charming older home whose medieval decor enhanced its gothic character.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more on Commas, see:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMAS - The (Not-So) Quick & Dirty Guide
by Erin Mullarkey, editor for Loose-Id books:
http://darkerotica.blogspot.com/2005/07/commas-not-so-quick-dirty-guide.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enjoy!
Advanced Writing:
INTERNAL CONFLICT
Note: this is how the professional authors do it. That doesn't mean YOU have to. As with all
advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest.
The scene…
~~~~~~~~~~~~
His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm
warming her flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted
upward, toward her breast.
Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. She wanted to let him tear the red silk from
her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her
breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her
body begged for his mouth on her flesh. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he
can satisfy... He fired her blood more than any other man.
She turned away from his kiss. "Please, I can't."
His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"
She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."
He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, I know, it's a bit over the top. Anyway… What we have here is a potentially hot scene
brewing with a nice little Internal Conflict, but everything seems a little muddied. What's wrong?
This scene's Internal Conflict is Out of Chronological Sequence!
"What the heck does that mean?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chronological sequence is the order in which things actually happen.
1. Something the size of a fist hits your head.

2. The impact knocks you flat on the ground.
3. You sit up from the ground and shake you head wondering what the heck just happened.
4. PAIN!
5. Wincing, you look around for the cause and find a baseball.
6. Guessing what happened, you go looking for the culprits.
When stories are NOT written in the correct order that events actually happen, the reader gets
confused. Make a story too difficult to read and they'll go read someone else.
The Chronological Order of INTERNAL CONFLICT!
1) SHOW the Conflict.

2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict.
3) Tell WHY it's in Conflict.
4) Resolve the Conflict.
1) Show them that there is a Conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Show them, through the ACTIONS & Dialogue of your characters, that there is a conflict
happening. This is pure showing – all action.
2) Tell them WHAT is in Conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a statement, TELLING the reader, through internal narration or dialogue, exactly what is
battling with what, within the character. Want verses want. Is it their heart verses their body?
Their good sense verses their desire? Their career verses their heart's desire? Love for one verses
lust for the other?
3) Tell them WHY it's in conflict – what is at stake?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is another statement, internally or through dialogue, telling the reader exactly what is at
stake. Pile on the reasons, both pro and con. "I can't do this, because…but I want to, because…"
To make the most tension, state the Con first and then the Pro.
4) Resolve the Conflict

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make an Internal decision, and then have the character ACT on that decision.
Scene OVERHAUL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When in doubt of ANY scene – pull it apart, sentence by sentence:
HIS initiating Actions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress.
• His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying
the deep blood silk gown.
• His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.
HER Reactions:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart.
• She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her
palm over his to stop him just below her breast.
• He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.
• The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh.
• I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...
• He fired her blood more than any other man.
• She turned away from his kiss. "Please, I can't."
His following Action:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• His gaze narrowed, then he smiled.
• "Why? Why deny your desire?"
Her following Reaction:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her.
• "Forgive me, but I want to live."
His Initiating Action:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• He moved closer, to stand but a breath away.
• "Are you quite sure?"
Actual order of events:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) He kissed her.
2) She reacted, and wanted more.
3) She had reasons to resist. (Internal CONFLICT!)
4) She resisted.
5) He sought to reestablish contact.
6) She resisted.
7) Closing
1) He kissed her.
(The sentences that belong to this event:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• He kissed her.
• His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress.
• His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying
the deep blood silk gown.
• His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.
In proper Sequence:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2) She reacted, and wanted more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart.
• I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...
• He fired her blood more than any other man.
In proper Sequence:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. He fired her blood more than any other
man. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...
3) She had reasons to resist ~ CONFLICT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her
• He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.
• The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh.

2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict.
3) Tell WHY it's in Conflict.
4) Resolve the Conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her
2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop.
3) Tell WHY it's in conflict. What is at stake?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.
4) Resolve the conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Oh, no! There's nothing to put here! So, add something, right here to state her decision.)
Yes, she wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay for his embrace.
In proper Sequence:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop. She
wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm
over his to stop him just below her breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. Yes, she
wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay.
4) She resisted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She turned away from his kiss. "Please, no."
5) He sought to reestablish contact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6) She resisted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7) Closing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't forget! -- No matter what, both Internalization and Dialogue happens AFTER Physical
Reactions. ACTION always precedes COMMENT. The body reacts faster than thoughts or
comments. Ask any martial artist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADJUSTED into Proper Sequence:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. He fired her blood more than any other
man. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy... Her body begged for his
mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop. She wanted to let him tear the
red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just
below her breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. Yes, she wanted him, but death was
simply to high a price to pay. She turned away from his kiss. "Please, no."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Conclusion:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea, even in something as simple as an argument.
If the actions are out of order, the reader's Mental Movie STOPS because you just confused your
reader. This means that the reader has to Re-Read that sequence until they can figure out what
the heck just happened in order to get their mental movie playing again.
Making the story hard for the reader to PICTURE -- is a VERY Bad Idea. Anytime the reader
has to STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you've made a break. Breaks are
BAD – very, very bad! A break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your
story, and start reading something else -- and possibly never look at you again.
Enjoy!
Writing ACTION Sequences
The Plug & Play Method
Lets begin with a Review...

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.
-- WRONG!
Why is this wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it
happen.
Actual Sequence of events:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Her hand lashed out at me in a slap. <Action>
2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek <Reaction>
ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order
REALITY = something happens to you and then…you react.

Action > Reaction > Action > Reaction = Chronological order
FICTION = the Plot happens to the characters and then…they react.

Action > Reaction > Action > Reaction = Chronological order
If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is
the ONLY way to write that scene. In other words, if you visualize the characters doing
something in a specific order – you write it in THAT order!
WRONG:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The flash of pain exploded in my cheek <Reaction> from the slap her hand lashed out at me.
<Action>
RIGHT:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her hand lashed out in a slap <action>.
My cheek exploded with a flash of pain. <reaction>. "Ow!" <dialogue/action> I balled my hand
into a fist and swung for her stomach. <reaction>
Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea. If you knock the actions out of order, the
reader's Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to rearrange the
sentences into the correct order to get the movie back.
The confusion comes in because written chronological action and dialogue tends to be rather curt
in phrasing rather than poetically stylish, plus it looks very choppy on the page.
Stylistic turns of phrase, be damned!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making the story hard for the Reader to PICTURE is a Bad Idea. Anytime the reader has to
STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you've made a break. Breaks are BAD,
very, very bad. A break creates a moment where the reader can Put your story Down, and forget
to pick it back up again.
Who cares what the words look like on the page? Once you have a Mental Movie rolling, the
reader won't even SEE the words. They'll be too busy making pictures in their head to notice
what words they're reading. What matters is that the Mental Movie -- the Story -- doesn't stop
and the reader keeps reading!
How to FIX this chronic problem:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VISUALIZE your scenes as you write them. Play them as a movie in your head and write
everything down EXACTLY as you see it.
What about Literary style?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What about it? If you simply MUST have stylish phrasing in your fiction, save it for the
descriptions, but keep it out of the actions.
Next, memorize these Two Rules:
#1 - ONE Point of View per scene.

-- Use the POV of only ONE character per sequence. Why? Because seeing the Same Scene
simultaneously from more than one person's point of view CONFUSES the Reader as to who is
thinking and feeling what at any given moment in that scene.
#2 - NEVER put two characters Acting in the same paragraph.

-- Make a new paragraph every time a new character ACTS, which includes dialogue. Talking is
an Action!
Okay, before we go on to How to Write an Action Sequence, one last reminder on an Action
Scene's WORST ENEMY...!
The Evil Nasty Vicious "AS"
In school, they teach you that 'as' is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together,
rather in the same way as you would use "and." Unfortunately, "as" doesn't quite work the same
way as an "and" in fiction.
-- "As" means, "things that happened simultaneously."

-- "And" means, "this happened too."
In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one thing at a time.
The only things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of
things.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the soldiers marched.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
IMPORTANT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm NOT saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written. I'm saying that using "as" is not the
way to do it. Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all
at the same time -- until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed in the order in
which they happened so as to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.
As far as I'm concerned, the only place an "as" belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
See?
Where "As" goes WRONG…

~~~~~~~~~~~~
I consider "as" a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in
your sentence structure.
What went wrong?

-- In fiction, the word "as" usually marks where a sentence has gone out of Chronological Order.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.
Think: Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The vampire crouched over his victim.
2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.
The chronological way to write this would be:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.
Why does this matter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset their
mental movie of your story. That's bad, very, very, BAD. Do this enough times and your reader
will stop reading your story to go find something easier to imagine. In fact, some readers will not
only drop your story, never to read it again, they'll avoid anything else you write.
How to Grammar Check for "as":

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do a Search/Replace substituting "as" for "and," then go back and read through your entire work.
If "and" doesn't fit right in your sentence, then it's most likely Out of Chronological Order.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Search/Replace:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"And" doesn't quite work there, does it? Why not? Because the werewolf didn't flatten his ears
before he faced the hunter.
Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The werewolf faced the hunter.
2. He was angry.
2. He flattened his ears.
Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now the "he" doesn't fit, so let's chop that out.
One more time:

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~
See what I mean? The word "As" is a devious sinister monster that should be destroyed on sight.
Now, on to the good stuff!
Writing Action Sequences

The "Plug & Play" Method
Life is full of random events. FICTION is NOT. Every element in a story – every character,
every situation, and every object, must be there for a REASON, and have a reason to Be There.
NOTHING happens "just because" – especially actions.
The Magic Formula!

Stimulus > Physical Reaction > Sensory Reaction > Emotional Reaction > Deliberate
Reaction
This order is VERY specific. You may SKIP steps, but you may not change the order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Stimulus
-- Something happens TO the character. (Action).
2) Physical Reaction
-- The character has a knee-jerk Physical Reaction to what has just happened. (Reaction)
3) Sensation Reaction
-- The character feels Physical Sensations and physically reacts to the sensations. (Reaction)
4) Emotional Reaction
-- AND THEN they have an Emotional Reaction reflected in their thoughts and/or a comment
about what had just happened. (Reaction)
5) Deliberate Reaction
-- AND THEN they Respond. They DO something about that action. (Reaction)
1) NEW Stimulus
-- External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event. (Action)
The Chain of REACTIONS in DETAIL
1) Stimulus – Something Happens!
It all begins with: Stimulus > Response, also known as Action > Reaction.
Something happens, and the character reacts. It's that simple.
Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam ducked, and the dagger flew harmlessly past him.
Or Sam was stabbed through the heart.

Or Sam caught it in his hand.
Or something of a similar, immediate response-nature.
How can something this simple be confusing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Consider this:

Reaction: Sam grinned. "My, what lovely weather we're having!"
Too many writers think the reader will assume that the dagger missed Sam. Nope. I'm afraid that
many, many readers will NOT make that assumption at all. This is a PLOT Hole, a missing piece
to an event, triggered by the obvious question: What happened to the dagger?
I'm not saying you can't have that lovely piece of dialogue, I'm saying that you have to show the
REST of the stimulus > response FIRST.

Reaction: Sam caught the dagger in his palm, raised his brow at Joe and smiled thinly. "My,
what lovely weather we're having."
2) Physical Reaction – The Flinch
Something happens. Your character reacts instinctively. They duck, they flinch , they dodge,
they gasp, they choke, they pass out.
~~~~~~~~~
Reaction: Sam reached out to grab the dagger.
~~~~~~~~~
In real life, physical actions usually happen BEFORE dialogue. The finger pulls the trigger and
THEN the shooter wonders: "Oh no, what have I done?"
Most people ACT, and then comment, because physical reactions happen faster than thought.
Thought happens after the fist has already shot out. Ask any martial artist.
Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action -- not in the literary sense, for real. Most
people stop whatever action they are doing, they pause to process that thought because few
people can do both at once. Martial artists are TAUGHT to Not Think when they fight -- No
Mind -- specifically to make their reaction time faster.
Fiction should not be any different.

3) Sensation Reaction – Cold Chills
Something just happened. What did it feel like, physically? How did they react physically to
those sensations?
Sensory = of the 5 physical senses
Sense of Sight - the appearance

Sense of Sound - the melody
Sense of Taste - the flavor
Sense of Texture - the sensation
Sense of Scent - the aroma
Sensation Reaction is BOTH "what they perceived through their senses," (it smelled like, it
looked like, it sounded like, it felt like, it tasted like…) And their PHYSICAL reaction to those
sensations. "It tasted like moldy socks, and I nearly retched."
~~~~~~~~~
Reaction: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Sensation> The pommel slapped sharply
into his palm, stinging his hand. (Physical Reaction to Sensation> He winced.
~~~~~~~~~
Notice that Sam gets his own paragraph?
4) Emotional Reaction –"Oh, woe is me!" Internal Conflict!
Something just happened. How did that make your character FEEL: scared, happy, angry,
lustful…? These emotional feelings are reflected internally immediately after the physical
sensations that wracked their bodies with unwarranted stimuli. Ahem, after they feel the physical
effects of what just happened.
Additionally, internal observations, internal dialogue and narration happens before they make a
vocal remark.
~~~~~~~~~
into his palm, stinging his hand. (Physical Reaction to Sensation> He winced. (Internalization>
He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn't thought he was that pissed.
~~~~~~~~~
5) Deliberate Reaction – Retaliation!
Something happened, your character has felt the effects, had a thought and perhaps made a
comment. So, what is your character going to do next? A deliberate action designed for
Retaliation! More commonly known as: Revenge.
Just to make things confusing, Dialogue can be a Response Reaction, an Internalization, an

Emotional Reaction or a Deliberate Reaction! When in doubt, always put Dialogue AFTER a
physical action.
~~~~~~~~~
into his palm, stinging his hand. (Physical Reaction to Sensation> He winced. (Internalization>
He had known Joe was pissed at him, but he hadn't thought he was that pissed. (Deliberate
Reaction / Stimulus intended to get a reaction out of Joe.> He raised his brow at Joe and smiled
thinly. "My, what lovely weather we're having!"
~~~~~~~~~
Ready? Steady... ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fill in the blank!
Stimulus > Physical Reaction > Sensation Reaction > Emotional Reaction > Deliberate
Reaction
Stimulus - Something happened

Physical Reaction - Their body's immediate physical reaction
Sensation Reaction - The physical sensations and their effects
Emotional Reaction - What they thought about what was happening
Deliberate Reaction - How they responded
NEW Stimulus - What happened next.
- In that order.
External / something HAPPENED
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Stimulus - Physical Action / Action, dialogue or both >
- Will Turner stabbed his sword toward Jack Sparrow.
Viewpoint Character's Reaction:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2) Reaction: Physical Reaction / Did they jump? Flinch? Catch the flying object? >
- Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body.
3) Reaction: Sensation Reaction / The physical sensations and their effects >
- The swords impacted with a jarring ring.
4) Reaction: Emotional Reaction / Internal or Vocal Comment reflecting what they thought
about what was happening >
- "Will this isn't the brightest idea in the world. I don't know if you noticed, but there are a
bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?"
5) Reaction: Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation >

- He slid his sword up Will's blade, waggled his brows, and smiled engagingly.
External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) NEW Action: Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue. >
- Will flinched back and scowled. "I don't care. I want to rescue her now!"
On the Page...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will Turner lunged, stabbing his sword toward Jack Sparrow.
Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body. The swords
impacted with a jarring ring. "Will this isn't the brightest idea in the world. I don't know if you
noticed, but there are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?" He slid his sword up Will's
blade, waggled his brows, and smiled engagingly.
Will flinched back and scowled. "I don't care. I want to rescue her now!"
Get it? Got it? GOOD!

Enjoy!
"When will you make an end?"

- The Pope on the painting of the Sistine Chapel
"When I'm finished."

- Michelangelo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so you got this GREAT Idea for a story!
- This Great Idea...that births chapter after chaper...

- This Great Idea... that you can't seem to finish. (WTF?)
Crap.
So what do you do now?
HOW do you make an End?
Fairytales and Myths were my foundational reading, so they became my base model for how a
story should finish -- by ending where you began with a solution.
This doesn't mean ending a story in the location it started, or that full irrevocable transformations
don't happen, but that the story ties the knot to the Emotional or Karmic place they began. -- The
lost find their way, the wicked are punished, the weak become strong, monsters are faced,
emotional hang-ups are dealt with, and problems are solved. What is begun - finishes.
However...
-- Stories aren't just about characters Doing stuff, it's about character's Dealing with stuff and
Figuring out stuff about themselves. The really good stories, the ones that grab us and stay in our
memories the longest, all illustrate normal people problems and issues, and the SOLUTIONS
they come across.
No matter how fantastic the setting or characters are, stories are still about people being people
dealing with people stuff. It isn't what they Do, it's How they did it, and what they discovered
about themselves on the way.
It sounds perfectly simple, and it can be, however I despise stories I can guess the ending to, so
naturally, I refuse to write them that way. (Insert evil snicker.) I prefer to make my stories a bit
more unpredictable.
How? Subterfuge.
The Wrong direction is the Right direction!
I prefer to write stories that throw the reader completely off the obvious path, straight through
the center of the village, and force them into the deep dark woods. I deliberately make every
straightforward solution unbelievably problematic!
• The obvious answer is the wrong answer.

• The simple solution is impossible to accomplish.
• What seems to be a easy task has impossible if not fatal complications.
Once the reader has been sent careening off into territory they never expected to go, and gotten
utterly wrapped up in a plot they never expected - that's when I start tying up ends by way of
pulling rugs out from under the reader's feet.
Characters reveal motives that change how their base characters are perceived.
• The obvious bad-guy isn't the bad guy, he's AFTER the bad-guy. However, he's completely
ruthless in his hunt, which is what made him seem like the bad-guy in the first place.
• The bumbling fool that merely wants to help improve his fellow man, is in fact completely
deranged sociopath that likes to do his improvements with a scalpel.
• The person the main character is trying to rescue, not only doesn't want to be rescued, but in
fact resents the intrusion.
Random events and objects are revealed to have unexpected connections.

• The gun on the mantelpiece wasn't merely a decoration.
• The strange recluse neighbor turns out to be the one person who actually knows what's really
going on.
What was accepted as fact is revealed to be something else entirely.

• "We're all living in a computer generated dream-world."
And in the process of dealing with all that...
• Monsters are faced.

• Emotional hang-ups are dealt with.
• Problems end up solved.
• What was begun - finishes.
The END
Writing DIALOGUE
The SECRET to Proper Paragraphing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(NOT a punctuation article.)
Once you know what your characters and doing and saying, how do you get all that down on
Paper without ending up with a huge confusing mess?
Putting the Story on Paper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everybody knows that when a new speaker speaks they get a new paragraph, right? In other
words, you DON'T put two different people talking in the same paragraph. Okay, yeah, so
anyone who has written any kind of fiction learns this pretty darned quick, (usually from their
readers.)
What nobody seems to get is that the same goes for a new character's ACTIONS. Seriously,
when a new character ACTS they're supposed to get their own paragraph -- even if they don't
speak!
In short, you paragraph by change in CHARACTER -- not because they speak, but because they
ACT. Ahem... Dialogue is an ACTION. In other words, the reason you don't put two different
characters' Dialogue in the same paragraph is BECAUSE you don't mix two characters' Actions.
Okay?
"Wait a minute, doesn't that cut everything into tiny bits, you know, when you cut all the dialogue
away then divide up all those paragraphs?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No because Character A's dialogue is supposed to be IN Character A's paragraph of actions.
Character B gets his own paragraph of dialogue AND actions. You divide up a story's paragraphs
by individual Character -- not by individual lines of Dialogue OR Actions.
What you definitely don't do, is cut all the dialogue away from everything and mash all the
different characters' actions together in one messy paragraph where no one can tell who did what.
"Where the heck did THAT rule come from?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Strunk & White's Element's of Style, the grammar handbook.
To wit…
-- "In dialogue, each speech, even if only a single word, is a paragraph by itself; that is, a new
paragraph begins with each change of speaker."
This is often misinterpreted as "Make a new paragraph at every new line of dialogue."
Um... No. The key phrase here is "a new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."
As long as the Speaker is Acting, the Speaker HAS NOT CHANGED. However, every time a
new character Acts, you ARE Changing Speakers -- even if they don't talk! Therefore, each new
character ACTING gets a New Paragraph, whether or not they have dialogue.
How this works...
WRONG:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew
brighter, creeping down her neck. < -- Two Characters acting in the same paragraph.>
Becky mumbled, "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave it an identifying word to distinguish it
from all the other stuffed cute kitty plushies." < -- this whole line is Abandoned Dialogue.>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RIGHT:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?"
Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave it
an identifying word to distinguish it from all the other stuffed cute kitty plushies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's Missing?
-- 'Becky mumbled'. <-- This is an unnecessary Dialogue tag. Once you link a character's
Dialogue to their corresponding Actions, you no longer need the Dialogue tags.
If you really, really want to add that Becky mumbled her words, describe it as an action. Don't
TELL us that she mumbled, SHOW us.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. Her voice dropped to barely a mumble. "I
wouldn't so much say named, as gave an identifying word to distinguish it from all the other
stuffed cute kitty plushies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-----Original Message-----
"What if the next internals and action/dialogue are his, like:"
brighter, creeping down her neck. Her reaction was adorable and he couldn't resist needling her
some more. "I thought you hated stuffies."
"Then can you lump those actions together?"

-- Thanks in advance -- Jas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Um... NO.
-- Remember this?
"…A new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."

-- When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and <-- Toby's Actions /
Becky's Actions --> Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.
Becky didn't say anything, but she IS acting -- a blush is an action -- therefore Becky gets her
OWN paragraph.
Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. You named a stuffed animal?"
Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.
This is incorrect too:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised.
Actions go BEFORE Reactions Toby was surprised so he commented: "You named a stuffed
animal?" He didn't comment and THEN become surprised.
Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?"
All together now!
Original:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
brighter, creeping down her neck. Her reaction was adorable and he couldn't resist needling her
some more. "I thought you hated stuffies."
Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. You named a stuffed animal?"
Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.
Her reaction was so adorable, Toby couldn't resist needling her some more. "I thought you hated
stuffies?"
"But when you do that, it looks so...choppy on the page. There's ton's of empty white space!"
-- Hates Empty Space
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, it looks choppy on the page, but its Far More Important that there is absolutely no doubt in
anyone's mind as to who is acting and who is speaking.
Another Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't help me. I'm fine by myself," she told him, not bothering to be polite. He looked surprised
and perhaps a little hurt. She heard another voice.
"Geez, you're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?" She got to her feet and brushed herself off,
glancing in the direction of the newcomer. She nearly recoiled in shock. Another handsome guy.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "He was just trying to help you." He told her. She readjusted
her bag and said.
"I don't recall asking for help."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the way, once you separate each of your character's actions into new paragraphs and
reconnect each character's dialogue to their actions, you won't need dialogue tags such as "said"
because your character's actions are the identifiers for your dialogue.
With actions separated & dialogue attached.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't help me. I'm fine by myself." She didn't bother to be polite.
He looked surprised and perhaps a little hurt.
A new voice called out. "Geez, you're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?"
She got to her feet and brushed herself off, glancing in the direction of the newcomer. Another
handsome guy. She nearly recoiled in shock.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "He was just trying to help you."
She readjusted her bag. "I don't recall asking for help."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you truly loathe all that white space, then fill it in with more actions, description, and internal
narration observations.
But what about when someone is watching someone else, or feeling someone do something to
them? -- Concerned about Observation
This seems perfectly fine, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He watched her shake her butt.
He felt her skin move against his.
However, once you take this into account:
"…A new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."

-- When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.
Not so fine after all. You have two people acting in the same line -- in Both Cases.
The way around this little gem of a problem, is to SHOW the event by character rather than
TELL it in one lump.
You begin by dividing the actions by Character:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He watched her.
She shook her butt and her skin moved against his.
He felt it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seems kind'a…short eh? That's because those lines TOLD you what happened, instead of
Showing you what happened, so there are all kinds of details missing. Once you add enough
details to paint a whole picture…
Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From his seat at the edge of the stage, he watched her.
Tall, svelte, and in the skimpiest bathing suit he'd ever seen, she moved in close and shook her
butt. The round, firm flesh jiggled enticingly against his face.
His cheeks were subjected to the most incredible, though slightly sweaty, facial massage ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KILL the Dialogue Tags. (Seriously.)

-- When you have an action with a line of dialogue, you don't need Dialogue tags, such as "he
said" -- at all. You already know through their actions WHO is speaking.
Dialogue tags are only ever needed when you don't have any other way of identifying the
speaker.
HOWEVER, if you have no other way of knowing who is speaking than dialogue tags, then you
have committed the heinous crime of:
Dialogue in a Vacuum
- Also known as "talking heads syndrome."
A book with nothing but reams of dialogue marked only by dialogue tags means that while
people may be talking, there is no PICTURE. The mental movie has stopped and only the sound-
track is playing. Compare it to a Radio Show with no sound effects.
I don't know about you, but when I go to read a story, I want to SEE what I'm reading like a
movie, not listen to a radio show.
Memorize this:
Readers always interpret what they read the way they want to see it -- unless you SHOW
them what you envisioned.
In other words…
What CAN be misunderstood -- WILL be misunderstood.
Leave Nothing to Misinterpretation.

-- Readers will ALWAYS make whatever assumptions come to mind about what they are
reading. When a reader realizes that what they thought was going on -- wasn't, they'll get
confused, and occasionally pissed off.
Unmarked blocks of dialogue are painfully EASY to get lost in.
I remember reading one whole page of un-tagged action-less dialogue only to find out that I had
two of the characters reversed. Did I reread that whole page to figure out what was going on?
Hell no! I tossed the book across the room. (In fact, it's still on the floor gathering dust bunnies.)
"But, isn't that's what 'said' and other dialogue tags are for?"
Just for the record...

-- Using dialogue tags is Not against the rules. Dialogue tags are a perfectly viable way to
identify who is speaking -- it just makes that part of the story BORING. (I don't know about you,
but I won't read something that bores me.)
I choose to write my dialogue without using "said" unless I am actually describing a change in
voice, tone, or volume in the same paragraph. And even then, I try to avoid them. I use the
speaker's actions to define who is speaking to whom.
I use ACTION TAGS.

"What the heck is an Action Tag?"
BODY LANGUAGE
Language is Visual not just a bunch of words. Watch the average conversation between two
people. 90% of that conversation isn't in what's spoken, it's in what they are DOING as they are
speaking. It's in their Body Language. Body-language cues the reader as to what is going on in a
character's head – in ADDITION to dialogue and internal narrative.
Action and body-language tags on dialogue are Not just for decoration.
-- Stories are Mental Movies you play in your imagination. I don't know about you, but I HATE
to be interrupted when I'm involved in a good movie. If I have to stop and reread a section just to
figure out what the heck is going on, I've been interrupted. One too many interruptions and I'm
switching to another story -- with no intention of continuing with something that's just too much
work to get through.
Action tags keep the mental Movie rolling and the MEANING of what is being said crystal clear.
A small simple action can tell you right away, what's going through the speaker's head.
Don't just SAY it! ~ SHOW IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I love you too." She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."
"I love you too." She dropped her chin and pouted. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."
"I love you too." She glared straight at him. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."
"I love you too." She turned away and wiped the tear from her cheek. "Oh yes, I truly do love
you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHY I loathe the word "said".

- To be perfectly clear, it's not JUST the word 'said', I hate ALL Dialogue Tags inclusively. I
utterly refuse to use them.
Why?
- Because they're wasteful. They clutter up dialogue while slowing down actions, and they use up
word-count that could be far better used elsewhere.
I don't believe in putting anything in my fiction that isn't useful. If it doesn't add to the character
or the plot, it gets eradicated. Dialogue tags are too easily replaced by something that actually
adds to the story, such as an action, a facial expression, a spot of description, or a character's
opinions.
Just for the record, I write extremely dialogue-heavy fiction. When I find that a dialogue tag is
indeed needed in my story to identify who is talking, I see it as a red flag that indicates that all
action has come to a screeching halt. Nothing is Happening other than talking; also known as:
Talking Heads Syndrome.
When that happens, I find some way to fill that space with something useful to the story such as
an action, a facial expression, a spot of description, or a character's opinions -- ANYTHING
other than a dialogue tag.
But those are MY feelings on the subject.

-- Your mileage may vary.
Dialogue tags ARE a legitimate form of sentence structure. When there is no other way to
identify a speaker, dialogue tags are indeed a viable option.
What about Punctuation for Dialogue?

- Go here:
http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/dialogue.shtml
Read that.
Paragraph Aesthetics
"I suppose the issue I have is with the aesthetics of paragraphing. Though text is not
comparable to a visual medium such as film, it is still something that we have to view with our
eyes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually, text aesthetics -- the way the words appear on the page -- seems to be a HUGE bone of
contention.
"...The way I see it, your example suggests that I break my text up into a lot of little paragraphs.
Given this understanding, in a scene rich with alternating action, it looks like I'll be left with a
lot of one-line paragraphs. ...I'd greatly appreciate it if you clarified this situation. I suppose that
is the trouble with having to jot down the basics, you can't expand on the little details of the rule.
^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paragraph Aesthetics - Illustrated
-- The way a story appears on a standard 9.5 x 11 inch piece of paper is NOT the way to judge
whether or not one's paragraphs are too long or too short. A story viewed on a browser page
carries even less weight.
Why not?
-- Because Fiction is generally printed on pages HALF the size of a full sheet of paper. What
appears to be a lot of short little paragraphs on the "internet page," are NOT so short or so little
once you put them on the Printed page.
The standard sizes for printed Fiction are: paperback (4.25 x 6.75 inches), and trade paperback
(5.5 x 8.25 inches.) Hard-cover books use the same size page as a Trade. Only coffee-table books
possess printed pages anywhere near the size of a standard sheet of paper.
Visual Aids:
ALL examples are 12 pt. Times New Roman font with somewhat 1 inch margins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Standard Paperback 6.75 x 4.25:
http://www.yaoi.ca/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=1269
Trade paperback 5.5 x 8.25:

Standard paper 9.5" x 11":

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personally, I could care less what my text looks like on the page. As far as I'm concerned,
making the story as clear and easy to read as possible is far more important to me than what the
text looks like. If I have done my job well, no one will even notice the words - only the story
unfolding in their imaginations.
As for internet reading, I'm completely baffled why anyone would care how it looks on the
browser page. All you have to do is narrow the window and the text adjusts.
"Also, I hope you don't mind, but did you come up with the rules yourself, through experience
and trial and error, publisher's advice, or is there a handy guide I can employ? Obviously, I
quite loyally follow Strunk and White, but I don't think it talks about this subject much. Is there a
book that YOU use?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's start here:
"...did you come up with the rules yourself, through experience and trial and error, publisher's
advice...?"
YES - to all of the above, plus editor hounding and long chats with a number of extremely well-
established fiction authors. In addition, I've read a crap-load of how-to books. I'm pretty sure I
own, and have practically memorized, just about every book "Writer's Digest" has put out.
My writing advice posts are the results of taking all the info I'd crammed into my head and
condensing it into small bite-sized, chewable, pieces that are easy to remember and much easier
to apply. Rather than waste people's time on theory, I focus on application.
As for recommended reads...

-- Unfortunately, there is no one guide that shows it all. Not One. However, there are two books I
can't praise highly enough. As far as I'm concerned, they are VITAL reading for fiction writing.
SCENE & STRUCTURE by Jack. M. Bickham

THE WRITER'S JOURNEY by Christopher Vogler
-- (Google is your friend.)
There are lots of other books I could recommend, but these are the two "Must Haves" if an
author really, REALLY wants to write fiction well.
Enjoy!
-------- Original Message -----------

"I can't write an action/fight scene worth a crap. Mind you, I can usually imagine them, I just
can't write them." -- Wanna Do a Fight Scene.
If you can imagine it - you can write it. The easiest way is by doing it in LAYERS.
The Quick and Dirty Method for writing Action Scenes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Start with a list of ACTIONS & Reactions < in that order.

-- Actions ALWAYS go before Reactions.
(IMPORTANT! Each CHARACTER gets a SEPERATE LINE. ~ NEVER clump the separate
actions of two different characters in the same paragraph or the reader will get confused as to
who is doing what very quickly.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.
Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin,
Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab.
Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point.
Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add DIALOGUE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're dead meat!" Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.
Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of
range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. "I don't think so!"
Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"
Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. "You're
gonna have to do a lot better than that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Add EMOTION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.
Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing
the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He
smiled. "I don't think so!"
Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"
Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He
chuckled. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick ONE POV character in that scene and Add the POV character's INTERNAL
Observations. (More than one POV in a scene is known as HEAD-HOPPING.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.
Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" The kid
certainly had guts. Too bad he didn't have the skill to go with it. Pushing the blade just out of
range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"
Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"
Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He
chuckled, knowing it would piss the kid off. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that." He
was hoping the kid would figure out that he was out-matched and just bolt. He didn't like killing
those that didn't actually deserve to die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seriously, if you can imagine it - you can write it.
Having problems imagining it?

- WATCH MOVIES.
Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: Before anyone starts screaming about this article not emphasizing the Creative
aspect of writing, please understand that this information was hammered into my head by my
editors. This is what I had to learn to see my work published.
That doesn't mean you have to follow it! As with all advice, feel free to take what you can use
and throw out the rest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pesky Point of View

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is Point of View (POV)?

-- It's the view of the person telling the story.
First Person: I am telling the story.
Second Person. I am telling the story to YOU. (Diaries and letters are commonly written this
way.)
Third Person: He is telling the story.
Close Third Person: He had no clue how he got roped into telling this story, but he was telling
it, and by god, they better listen up!
Omniscient Distant POV: The camera's eye view. (No internal narration what so ever. You
only know what the camera sees. This is the POV used in plays and movie/TV scripts.)
Omniscient Close POV, AKA: Storyteller's POV, AKA: Author Intrusion: When the author
expresses their opinions on what is happening in the story. (The Lemony Snicket books are
written this way, as are Fairy Tales and many Japanese novels.)
Note: The stories currently being published in America most often use Close Third POV and
First Person POV.
POV = ATTITUDE + ACTION

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Close Third POV = the POV Character's Voice.
When you are in Close Third POV, everything the main character sees and experiences should be
flavored with that character's Attitude -- that character's voice.
If Oscar the Grouch is looking at a bed of roses, what is going through his head is not going to
resemble what would be going through Big Bird's head. If you are in Oscar's POV, the way you
would write the description of those roses would reflect how he saw them.
Attitude Alone (AKA - Internal Narration):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Oscar could not believe that someone had the gall to drop his comfy garbage can in the middle
of a disgustingly bright mound of flowers. At least they were roses. He could almost stand
something that closely resembled a heaped snarl of barbed wire, if it weren't for those eye-
searing explosions of hideous pink. To make matters worse their stench was overwhelmingly
sweet. He just knew that it was going to take a whole week to get the smell out of his can. He
seriously considered heaving, just to have something more comforting to smell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's wrong with this snippet?

-- Technically, nothing other than it's BORING. NOTHING is happening -- and that's totally
wrong for this character. Oscar would not sit there and contemplate the roses; he would make
faces and say something snotty.
Attitude + ACTION:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Oscar the Grouch popped out of his trash can. Serrated green leaves waved among slender and
barbed branches around the mouth of his home. He gasped in horror. "What is this disgusting
mess?" He leaned out and looked around in disbelief. "Oh ugh, I'm surrounded. Somebody put
my trash can in a revolting pile of... What are these? Roses?" He could almost stand something
that closely resembled a heaped snarl of barbed wire, if it weren't for those eye-searing
explosions of hideous color. He curled his lip. "Pink, I hate pink."
To make matters worse the stench was overwhelmingly sweet. "Oh, eww! The smell!" He
slapped a fuzzy green hand over his fuzzy green nose. "It's gonna take me a week to get that
stink out'ta my can!" He felt his gorge rising. "I think I'm going to be sick. At least it'll smell
better."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not quite so boring this time.
Pet Peeve of mine: TOO MANY POVs!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your mileage may vary, but…
-- As far as I'm concerned, there is only ONE legitimate reason to have more than one POV
-- SUBPLOTS.
When you have a large cast of characters, making more than one story thread going on, only then
do you need POV switching to show the full scope of the story. Since another story is being told
within the first, the main POV character may or may not ever be involved. This makes another
POV character a necessity.
Jane Austin, Steven King, Robert Jordan and Terry Pratchet are authors that use multiple
subplots – multiple stories within one bigger story, and even they stick to ONE POV per subplot.
When they bring all the characters together in a story's final confrontation, they use the first POV
Character that appears in the book (that is not killed by the villain.*)
* In most mysteries, horror stories and suspense, nine times out of ten, the very first POV
character is usually someone dealing with the Antagonist – the villain of the piece, and they
usually end up dead. The next POV character is (normally,) the story's leading Protagonist.
But…! But…! But…!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- "But how will the reader know what's really going on in the other characters' heads?"
The exact same way YOU know what's going on in your friends' heads. You GUESS by reading
into what they say and what they do. You read their Body Language. This means that if you want
your reader to guess right -- or wrong -- you put in the speaker's body language too -- what
they're doing AS they speak.
Who's POV?
When you have more than One POV character in a scene...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you have multiple characters to choose from for a particular scene which one do you pick?
Who has the most to LOSE? Who is going to be the most tied up in knots? Who is going to get
the most frustrated? THAT'S your POV character for that scene.
POV Problems & Cures

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Horrors of Head-hopping
-- Head-hopping is when the Point of View changes, and changes, and changes, and
changes...sometimes every few paragraphs, sometimes every few sentences.
Obsessive Head-hopping normally happens for these reasons…
The Author is still at the learning stage.

-- The most common reason for obsessive head-hopping is that they don't even KNOW that they
are head-hopping.
Dead Give-Aways:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Every character's opinionated view is presented without any form of scene breaks, (often in
the same paragraph.)
2) Poor grammar skills.
My advice to Beginners: Write in FIRST PERSON, until you know how to STAY in that one
person's head, then attempt Close Third person. Once you know how to STAY in one person's
head, POV switching will be much easier to master.
Don't rush into Third Person after one try. Handling First Person POV is tough enough.
Seriously, I know a lot of published authors who have a rough time with that POV. Taking one
step at a time will save you a LOT of grief in the long run.
They're a multi-million dollar author.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Their editor isn't about to risk pissing off an author that makes the publishing house THAT
much money.
Dead Give-Aways:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Their name is Nora Roberts. (She even ADMITS to head hopping, and has point blank stated
that she sees no need to fix it since they're going to publish her anyway.)
Emotional DETACHMENT from the Official Lead Character

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- A lot of obsessive head-hopping is caused by the author's emotional connection to a character
that is NOT the protagonist – the official lead in the story. When the author becomes fascinated
by a character that is not the official lead, they will often pop in and out of their 'favorite'. They
simply cannot bear not being in that person's head.
Dead Give-Aways:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) ALL the characters are involved in only ONE plotline.
2) No real subplots, no secondary stories about different, but related, sets of characters.
3) The POV characters are narrowed to only two or three people.
4) The official lead character does not affect the plot in any major way.
5) The second (and preferred,) POV character defeats the Villain – not the official lead character.
This makes the second (and preferred,) POV character the Protagonist, the Official Lead.
The Author thinks they are enriching the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The author is convinced that both leading characters are interesting. They are attempting to
provide the reader with a ringside seat to BOTH sides of the story. This shows up chronically in
Erotic Fiction of every stripe.
This problem normally takes a very firm publication editor to fix because the author will often
refuse to fix it for any other reason. They did it on purpose and don't see anything wrong with it.
(My editor b*tches about this ALL THE TIME.)
Dead Give-Aways:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Only the two main characters have a POV.
2) The POV switch happens without breaks, one successive paragraph after the next – from one
end of the story to the other. (Seme > Uke > Seme > Uke…)
3) Events are often repeated; displayed in one POV and then the other.
4) Its deliberate. The author did it on purpose.
The Author thinks they're making SUSPENSE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The author is convinced that the entire cast is soooo interesting, they MUST be revealed to the
reader. They completely miss that by allowing the readers a peek into each of the character's
heads, it does not take much effort for the reader to guess how the story will end by the third
chapter.
Dead Give-Aways:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) No real subplots.
2) The entire plot and every characters' motivation, including the villain's, is revealed by the third
chapter.
3) Its deliberate. The author did it on purpose.
Why is this a Problem?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The reader has NO REASON to finish the story. Why should the reader bother continuing to
read a story they already know the ending to? And by the way, once one already knows how a
story will end, where's the suspense?
I have heard loud cries of – "But they don't know HOW it all falls apart!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The point is, that once the reader knows it's going to fall apart, they are Distanced from the
characters' joy and pain. They are no longer participants in the drama, but merely observers
because they already know what's coming.
Look at it this way...
Scene One --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Someone leans close to you and says: "Watch this, I'm gonna yell Boo in that kid's ear!" They
yell.
-- The kid jumps.
-- And you do - what? You smile, maybe you laugh.
Scene Two --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Someone else leans over and grabs a different kid, yelling: "TICKLE!"
-- You -- jump out of your skin, maybe even shout, because it was totally unexpected.
See the difference?
Quick & Dirty Head-hop Proofing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try writing it in First Person POV then do a Search / Replace.
• "I" = Character's Name at the beginning of a paragraph. You only need to use a character's
name once per paragraph -- unless they are directly interacting with another character of the
same gender. If so, then you'll need to use both names to keep the reader from getting confused
as to who is doing what to whom.
• He/She = Her/Him, everywhere else in the paragraph. (Need a gender-neutral word? I use
THEM or ONE. "He didn't know what to tell them." "One needs to be sure before one acts.")
• "My" = her/his.
• "Mine" = Their
Read your story line by line correcting and adjusting as you go until the story reads properly in
the third person.
Enjoy!
The Art of VILLAINY ~ Making Realistic Villains for your Fiction ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"People will do far more to Avoid Pain than they will to Seek Pleasure."
-- CIA Profiler Gavin DeBecker on Human Nature
True Predators
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I craft a villain, I go out of my way to make darned sure that my fictional villains are as
realistic as the villains we face in real life. I begin by giving them ordinary human Issues.
Within every villain (fictional and non-fictional) there's a human issue at core that drives them to
BE villains in the first place. Even mass murderers have reasons (however twisted) for doing
what they do.
NO villainous action is RANDOM.
The victim may be randomly chosen, but the action -- no matter how twisted -- always has a
reason behind it. That reason is ALWAYS driven by a very human issue triggered by an
unfulfilled and essential human need.
Key Human Issues:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Desire for Connection
* Fear of Loss
* Fear of Rejection
* Desire for Recognition & Attention
* Fear of Ridicule & Embarrassment
* Desire for Approval
* Desire for Control
"Is there a specific pattern to how a Villain, a human predator operates?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YES, there is!
-- Let's begin with a list of the most common pattern of personality traits found in your average
psychopath:
* Glib and superficial

* Egocentric and grandiose
* ! Lacking in remorse or guilt
* Deceitful & manipulative
* Impulsive
* Thrill-seeking
* Lacking responsibility
* Emotionally shallow
List acquired from Predicting Violent Behavior by Psychiatrist John Monahan

Most people have a few of the above traits in lesser or greater degree, however the key trait
necessary for a true human predator is "Lacking in remorse or guilt." True predators have no
compunction about what they do, or to whom they do it.
Choosing a Victim
-- When a predator chooses his prospective victim, four questions go through his mind:
1. "Do I feel Justified in committing this act?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- It can be as simple as feeling that they have been provoked, as an act of revenge, to as
complicated as looking for an excuse to start an argument to validate an angry response.
The truly dangerous predators do what they do because they WANT to. In fact, justification for
their actions usually comes after they've already chosen their victim.
2. "Are there Alternative ways to get what I'm really after?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Seduction and manipulation into being given what they're actually after is usually the first
technique they try. Violence is normally a technique of last resort, unless committing an act of
violence is their actual goal.
3. "Can I deal with or discount the Consequences of my actions?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Can they successfully hide the evidence of their deeds? Do they have support from others,
such as in a mob scene or a gang situation where everyone around them is committing violence
too? Do they have some form of protection that will shield them from repercussions from their
actions, such as extremely clever lawyers? Have they been hired specifically to commit acts of
violence, such as being part of a military unit or the police? Are they so far above reproach that
no one will believe they are even capable of committing such an act?
4. "Do I have the Ability and/or Opportunity to commit this act?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Do they believe they can successfully carry out the deed?
Once a predator feels that he has satisfactory answers to these four questions the next steps are
these, and commonly in this order…
Forced Teaming
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- This is the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists. It is a sophisticated
manipulation technique for establishing false trust, using a "we're all in the same boat together"
attitude.
Key phrases include the word: "We"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* "Both of us…"
* "We're some team…"
* "How are we going to handle this one?"
* "Now we've done it…"
The most effective style of this technique plays on the victim's sympathy and makes the victim
WANT to participate. "You'd do the same for me."
This style of manipulation is very difficult to rebuff without being rude -- which is precisely why
they do it.
Charm & Niceness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Charm (verb) and Niceness (verb) are manipulation techniques used to compel, and/or control
through allure or attraction. A smile is the Number One most typical disguise used to mask
emotions, and intent.
These two techniques are used specifically to gain much of the information they will need to
evaluate and then control their prospective victim.
Too Many Details -- that mean nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- This is a manipulation technique a predator uses to convince their victim that they are harmless
and familiar. What they are doing, is overwhelming their victim with nonsense chatter in order to
get physically closer.
Typecasting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- This is a manipulation technique where the predator labels their victim in a slightly negative
manner, to induce the victim into acting the opposite just to prove them wrong. "You're probably
too rich, too pretty, too important, too proud, too much of a snob to talk to me."
The instant the victim snaps back, "No I'm not!" they've placed themselves squarely in the
predators hands.
Loan Sharking
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- A manipulation technique where the predator deliberately does the victim a favor specifically
to place the victim in their debt. "Let me help you."
The proctor buys a pupil ices

And hopes the boy will not resist,
When he attempts to practice vices
Few people even know exist.
-- Edward Gorey
The Unsolicited Promise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- A manipulation technique designed to convince the victim that they are trustworthy.
"I'll just walk you to your doorstep and leave, I promise."

"I won't hurt you, I promise."
"I'm completely harmless, I promise."
Discounting the word "No."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- When this word is spoken by the victim, the predator's immediate response is to use every
manipulation technique in their arsenal to convince the victim in that they don't really mean "no",
up to and including, ignoring the word outright. This is to gain back their momentary loss of
control over the victim's actions.
A predator may use only a few of these techniques or all of them, but the target result is to
manipulate their victim into a corner which the victim feels they cannot escape -- such as inside
the victim's home.
My textbook for crafting realistic villains:

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker
http://www.cnn.com/books/beginnings/9808/gift.of.fear.cnn
Sympathy for the Fictional Devil

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As far as I'm concerned the author SHOULD sympathize with the villain, that's how you GET
true depth of character - truth in their characterization, actions and speech - but the Viewpoint
Character and the Reader, should NOT sympathize with the villain too much, unless you intend
to redeem the villain, or cause massive angst to your main character – and your readers.
Fair Warning: Too much sympathy for the villain drives the reader to think that you intend to
save him -- and they get royally pissed when you knock him off.
It has happened to me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- My test readers totally misread a story I was in the process of crafting and assumed that the
Villain was the Hero! Because of this, they vehemently protested his upcoming demise! To
satisfy my readers I had to cut the whole second half of the book off and write that villain a
whole new story where he WAS the hero. When I rewrote my original story, I had learned my
lesson. NO ONE complained when I killed the villain that time.
"Murder your Darlings!" ~ Hemmingway

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Under normal circumstances, if I accidentally craft a Redeemable villain, but redemption does
not serve the plot -- I DON'T save him, I rework him to be less sympathetic, and then I kill his
butt to serve the plot and the premise. To me STORY comes first.
But, if I really, REALLY like this character and want to save him regardless of the story in
progress, I do save him – in a Whole Different Story. I leave his character intact but change his
name, tweak his history and then craft a whole New story around him to do just that - redeem the
villain.
The Villain's Point of View...?

HELL NO! Don't Kill the Thrill ~ Damn it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never, ever, EVER put my villain's Point of View into a story -- unless the Villain is the main
viewpoint character.
Why Not?
The villain's POV KILLS the surprise. It gives away the punch-line before the joke is done. The
villain's POV has a tendency to reveal too much, such as their MOTIVES, and answers too many
questions that ruin the Mystery for the reader, such as "Why is this happening?" Once the
reader knows what's really going on, where's the surprise?
I don't know about you, but I want my readers to be as surprised as the viewpoint character when
they get to the end of the story and finally discover why the Villain did all those dastardly deeds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ew, I remember doing this a few times in my older stories. .__.;; I did it once in my most recent
stories, though only hinting ideas at first to what was possibly going on in the villains' heads,
hell, even sometimes giving an idea to the reader that something might happen and then have the
villain go an entirely different way due to the circumstances.
In my older stories, I pretty much spilled the whole plot of what the bad guys planned to do. God,
am I glad my newer villains aren't quick to give away a plot, even if I DO pull a small POV of
their point of view. A word of advice for villain POVs, if you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to do a
villain POV, do it from the (possible) lackey's side of the story. Worst comes to worse, they know
MUCH less than the actual villain's ideas, opening up a possible window of either clues or ideas
to what's going on. It can keep the reader guessing, if done right or give away the entire plot, if
used too often or explained too much.
If there is no lackeys to exploit the above, you're better off just avoiding villain POV completely,
unless it's to get into character. And even that is a gamble because the past can also expose
plots. X_x
-- Arctic-Master
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But other published authors do it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Yes, there are a number of NYT bestselling Suspense and Romantic Suspense authors that
hide the Villain's more revealing information by cutting the reader off as soon as the Villain has
an interesting thought or view. *caughTomClancycaugh*
They're CHEATING the reader using a rather nasty technique known as "Illegitimate Third
Person POV", something actual Mystery writers wouldn't be caught dead doing.
However, I suppose such poor suspense techniques are to be expected from Suspense novels as
they are technically mystery-flavored novels, not true Mysteries, the way Futuristics usually have
very poor world-building as they are science-fiction-flavored, not true Science-Fiction.
When the "Point of View" is done correctly, whatever that viewpoint character knows - the
Reader knows. EVERYTHING that is in the POV character's head is revealed as it is seen and
felt. If that POV character looks at it, then the Reader should see it too. If that POV character
thinks it, then the Reader should be aware of it - that includes SECRETS!
On a personal note, I refuse to read books or stories written with "Illegitimate Third Person
POV", because if "I" can write suspense scenes without cheating, and I'm merely an erotic
romance author, THEY CAN TOO! (Freaking lazy-butt writers... Grumble, grumble, grumble…)
"But I thought the Villain's POV Increases the Suspense?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Um…No. The Villain's POV KILLS the Suspense.
Why?
-- Because while one might think suspense is being generated by the reader knowing that the
main viewpoint character is in extreme danger (when the POV character doesn't,) what it actually
does is Totally KILLS the Impact when the main viewpoint character finds out how much danger
they are actually in.
It's like someone whispering, "I'm gonna yell 'boo' in that kid's ear."
When you see the kid jump, you might grin, but did YOU jump?
No.
Why not?
Because you weren't surprised. Why should you be? You KNEW it was coming.
Someone yells "BOO!" in the ear of the guy sitting next to you – without any warning.
Do you jump then?
Yes.
See?
The REAL way to keep suspense going is by presenting CLUES about the villain and his
nefarious plans to the main POV character - and the reader - by behavior, dialogue, and
discoveries.
"But I need it for the Plot!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If the author can't write the story WITHOUT including the Villain's POV, then it's very possible
that there's a deeper more serious flaw in the story.
The Author has focused on the WRONG main character.
Instead of the Hero and Heroine (semi/uke) in the lead, the Villain is leading the book. If the
villain is leading the book, then it's time to rethink the plot. Seriously, redo the whole thing
giving the villain the lead, writing it from the Villain's POV from beginning to end. I know
LOTS of readers who love a good book entirely from the villain's POV!
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When one is writing Villains, once should know how Real villains think and act -- but that
doesn't mean your Reader should know what's going on in their heads. More than half the fun of
a really good Villain, is guessing what they'll do next!
Enjoy!
Basic Plotting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A plot is the pattern a story follows, the most common being:
-- Beginning
-- Middle
-- End
All successful (read: popular) stories have patterns. Sometimes it's simple, sometimes it's
complex, but all of the stories read or told often enough to remain in the popular mind of any
culture have a pattern, a plot.
Here are some examples of simple plot patterns…
Traditional:
• He came.
• He saw.
• He conquered.
American Dream Version:

• He came.
• He conquered.
• He became very rich.
The Heroic version:

• He conquered.
• He became the leader of his people.
• He died in the middle of a glorious battle to defend his land, and became a legendary figure that
would never be forgotten.
Erotic Version:
• He saw.
• He conquered.
• He came.
Aristotle's Elements of a Greek Tragedy - simplified:

• Act One: He rose to glory.
• Act Two: His pride drove him to make a foolish but costly mistake.
• Act Three: He crashed and burned.
Aristotle's Elements - American version:

• Act One: He rose to glory.
• Act Two: His pride drove him to make a foolish but costly mistake.
• Act Three: He crashed and burned.
• Act Four: He fixed his mistake and rose again.
Your basic Romance plot:

• The lovers are thrown together.
• The lovers are forced apart.
• The lovers go against the odds to get back together.
Your basic Yaoi Romance plot:

• One lover seduces the other.
• A misunderstanding drives one lover away.
• The lover that misunderstood chases the other lover down to beg for forgiveness.
Your basic Adventure plot:

• Hero meets Villain.
• They fight and the Villain wins.
• The hero rises from his defeat to battle the Villain again, and wins the war.
Your basic Manga Adventure plot:

• A group of friends meet a Villain.
• The villain corners them individually and defeats each one.
• The friends rise from their individual defeats to team up on the Villain and win the war.
I can already hear the whining…
"But that's so…formulaic! Where's the creativity?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Creativity is Overrated.
Ever hear the phrase: "It's not what you have, it's what you do with it,"? This is especially true
when writing stories. It's not the plot, but what you do with the plot that makes it creative.
No matter what those Creative Writing classes teach, for a story to be enjoyed by the widest
possible audience, it needs to have some sort of structure, a pattern -- a plot.
Why?
Because a story without some sort of plot pattern reads…wrong. Everyone, in every culture, has
been trained from childhood to EXPECT a story to follow some sort of pattern to take it from
Here to There, and make some sort of point too. In fact, some of the hottest blockbuster movies
including 'Star Wars' follow one of the oldest plot patterns in human history -- the Heroic Cycle,
as codified by William Campbell.
The Heroic Mythic Cycle:

(Paraphrased to avoid copyright issues.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Act One - Chosen
Humble Beginnings
Destiny Comes Knocking
Shoved into Adventure
Sagely Advice ~ Paramours & Sidekicks
Act Two - Challenge
Leaving the Known World behind

Challenges, Friends & Foes
Battle at the Crossroads
Act Three – Crisis
Into the Labyrinth

Temptation & Betrayal
Anger ~ Despair ~ Sacrifice
Inheritance / Blessing / Curse
Treasure & Celebration
Act Four – Climax
Escape / Expelled from the Labyrinth

The Hunter becomes the Hunted
Rescue & Loss of Paramour / Side-kick
Battle at the Crossroads to Home
Death / Rebirth
Delivery of Treasure & Just Rewards
A great many people who write quite successfully 'by the seat of their pants,' may tell you that
they don't need to plot, they just…write it from beginning to end. That doesn't mean their stories
don't follow a pattern. It's merely that the plotting pattern they use is so ingrained into their
subconscious they follow it instinctively -- without even knowing they're doing it.
Unfortunately, that's not a talent I possess. I have to work everything out on paper or I get lost in
a hurry.
How to Use a Plot

"What is plotting good for anyway?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, the best use of a plotting pattern is so you don't get lost in the story. Think of the plot
outline as a road map marking out the most direct route from Here to There. This doesn't mean
you can't take side trips to sight-see or visit friends along the way. It's merely a way of keeping
track of where you are, and where you should go next, by knowing where you intend to end up.
Knowing your basic route ahead of time also makes it much more difficult to get lost on a back
road or trapped in a cul-de-sac.
In short, if you know where you're going when you start out, sooner or later, you'll actually get
there.
A note on Japanese stories…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: 'Eight Ways to say You ~ The Challenges of Translation'
By Cathy Hirano
The most obvious differences between Japanese and English writing styles are organization and
tone.
My English composition classes in high school taught me that English is supposed to flow in a
linear fashion, from introduction to body to conclusion, and that a statement should be supported
by a logical explanation. Even in literature, a book works toward a climax and then a conclusion.
In contrast, Japanese composition appears almost circular, and although it has its own logic and
organization, it is very different from how I learned to write in school.
In English, we stress clarity.
In Japanese subtlety is preferred. The Japanese writer dances around his theme, implying rather
than directly stating what he wants to say, leaving it up to readers to discern that for themselves.
He or she appeals to the reader's emotions rather than to the intellect, and tries to create a
rapport rather than to convince. The Japanese reader, in turn, is quite capable of taking great
leaps of imagination to follow the story line.
Cathy Hirano is the translator of The Friends, winner, for Farrar, Straus & Giroux, of the 1997
Batchelder Award.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Go HERE to read the whole article:
http://www.hbook.com/magazine/articles/1999/jan99_hirano.asp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- By using even the most basic of plot patterns, the writer can keep track of not only where they
are in their story, but where they intend to end up. This makes it very easy to avoid the most
common pitfall of fiction writing: "The story's halfway done and I have no idea how to end it!"
Enjoy!
------Original Message------
"If you have Action and Dialogue, do you really NEED Description too?
What is the difference?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Layers of Fiction
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dialogue Only
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!"
"Ah, Watanuki-kun!"
"Here you go Himawari-chan!"
"Thank you, Watanuki-kun!"
"You are very welcome, Himawari-chan."
"I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san. Do I need to tell you what she said?"
"No! No, you don't, and I don't want to hear it! I don't need a freaking baby-sitter!"
"Yuuko thinks you do."
"That's her! Not me!"

"Are you a fortune-teller?"
"No! Of course not!"
"I'll come get you after class. I'll get the instructor to let you wait while I practice."
"What? No! I said I don't want to wait…!"
"You gonna eat that?"
"Yes I am!"
"Tea."
"I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is "Talking Head Syndrome." There are no dialogue tags, because I don't use them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ACTION with Dialogue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lunch time found Kimihiro walking around to the back of the school carrying the three
lacquered wood bento boxes.
Himawari was already at their chosen spot.
Kimihiro couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He waved. "Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!"
Himawari looked over at Kimihiro smiled. "Ah, Watanuki-kun!"
Doumeki came from around the opposite corner of the building. He was talking on his cell
phone, or rather, grunting into it.
Kimihiro sighed.
Doumeki's gaze found Kimihiro's and his eyes narrowed.
Kimihiro felt the small hairs on his arms lift. He turned away to unwrap the bento boxes and
offered Himawari a box. "Here you go Himawari-chan!"
Smiling, Himawari took the box from Kimihiro without making any physical contact. "Thank
you, Watanuki-kun!"
"You are very welcome, Himawari-chan." Watanuki sighed and pulled out cups.
Doumeki strode up to stand before Kimihiro. "I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san."
Kimihiro looked up and his mouth fell open. The iced tea he was pouring spilled slightly over his
hand. He grabbed for a paper napkin to wipe at the small mess.
Doumeki snapped the small phone closed, and tucked it into the front fold of his gi. He held out
his hand.
Kimihiro shoved the bento box at him.
Doumeki took the box from Kimihiro's hands and his gaze narrowed on Kimihiro's face. "Do I
need to tell you what she said?"
"No! No, you don't, and I don't want to hear it!" Kimihiro turned away and flopped cross-legged
onto the spread blanket at Himawari's side. "I don't need a freaking baby-sitter!" He pried open
his bento box.
Doumeki moved to Kimihiro's immediate right and stepped into the space between Kimihiro and
Himawari. He settled cross-legged on the blanket with a grunt, seating himself between them.
Watanuki rolled his eyes.
Doumeki turned and his gaze locked on Kimihiro's. "Yuuko thinks you do."
Kimihiro felt his hackles lift. He scooted back. "That's her! Not me!"
Doumeki's gaze narrowed to slits. "Are you a fortune-teller?"
Kimihiro stared at him. "No! Of course not!"
"I'll come get you after class." He turned away to pry open his lunch box. "I'll get the instructor
to let you wait while I practice."
Kimihiro stared at him open mouthed. "What? No! I said I don't want to wait…!"
Doumeki picked up the chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth with one hand. He
plugged the ear on Kimihiro's side with the pinky finger of the other.
Kimihiro ranted and raved until he was red in the face.
Doumeki continued to eat with one ear plugged.
Kimihiro added kicks and gestures to his gripes and complaints, and even tried writhing on the
ground.
Doumeki turned to face Kimihiro. "You gonna eat that?" He pointed at Kimihiro's full bento box.
Kimihiro grabbed for his food. "Yes I am!" He snatched up his chopsticks and stabbed it into his
box. Glaring at the larger boy, he shoved the piece of food into his mouth and chewed.
Himawari burst into giggles.
Doumeki held out his hand. "Tea."
Kimihiro reached for the thermos and a tea cup then froze. He turned to glare Doumeki.
Doumeki continued to hold out his hand, his gaze unwavering.
Kimihiro handed him the cup of tea.
Doumeki took the cup of tea, and the slightest of smiles curved his mouth.
A hard shiver skittered up Kimihiro's spine. He jerked his gaze away.
Doumeki's gaze drifted down to his teacup, and announced what he'd like for tomorrow's lunch.
"I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!"
Doumeki's reply was yet another smile.
Himawari giggled.
Tanpopo chirped.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the first one, you could HEAR what was happening, like a Radio Show. In the second one you
could HEAR and SEE what was happening, like a black and white TV. Shall we put it on the Big
Screen?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DESCRIPTION with Action, & Dialogue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lunch time found Kimihiro walking around to the back of the school carrying the three
lacquered wood bento boxes wrapped in a large cloth in one hand, and the thermos of chilled
jasmine tea in the other.
Himawari was already at their chosen spot under the tree. She knelt on the small picnic blanket,
neat and prim in her stark black skirt and white summer top, while talking cheerfully to her tiny
bright yellow bird, Tanpopo, Dandilion. The ultra-feminine black coils of her sumptuous mane
spilled down her back and tumbled down around her lap. Two small coiling tails bound with
yellow bows framed either side of her impishly sweet face.
Kimihiro couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. So cuuute! Himawari was everything a pretty girl
should be, and she was just as sweet as she appeared. He waved. "Himawari-chan, I have your
lunch!"
If only she didn't have that…condition.
Himawari looked over at Kimihiro and her smile was as bright as the sun. "Ah, Watanuki-kun!"
The tall, broad-shouldered, and pointedly masculine form of Doumeki came from around the
opposite corner of the building. His short-cropped black hair gleamed blue in the sunlight. He
was dressed in the white keiko-gi top and ground-sweeping black hakima trousers of his Kyudo,
archery club uniform. Apparently, he'd spent the last period at the archery range. He was talking
on his cell phone, or rather, grunting into it. His gaze was somewhere off in the distance and lips
were turned slightly downward.
Kimihiro sighed. That was Doumeki for you. He appeared to only ever show one of two
expressions, if he had an expression, an almost-scowl, or an almost-smirk. Of the two, the smirk
was worse; it was downright disturbing.
Doumeki's gaze found Kimihiro's and his golden eyes narrowed.
Kimihiro felt the small hairs on his arms lift. He's staring at me in that creepy way again. It was
enough to very nearly sour Kimihiro's appetite.
Yuuko had once asked him, "What don't you like about Doumeki?"
Kimihiro couldn't very well tell her… "Because he stares at me like, he wants to hit me or do
something…else, something embarrassing and vulgar. When he smirks, it's worse. It's like, he's
laughing at me, and about to do something vulgar. On top of that, when he actually talks what he
says never goes with the look on his face. And he does it all the damned time!"
It sounded stupid even in his thoughts.
He turned away to unwrap the bento boxes, slapped on a sunny smile strictly for Himawari, and
offered her a box. "Here you go Himawari-chan!"
Smiling, Himawari took the box from Kimihiro without making any physical contact. "Thank
you, Watanuki-kun!"
"You are very welcome, Himawari-chan." Watanuki sighed in contentment and pulled out the
small plastic cups for the tea. Lunch with sweet, adorable, completely predictable Himawari was
the highlight of his entire day.
Doumeki strode up to stand before Kimihiro and his voice deepened to a base growl. "I see. Of
course. Thank you, Yuuko-san."
Kimihiro looked up at his nemesis and his mouth fell open in shock. Doumeki was talking to
Yuuko? The iced tea he was pouring spilled slightly over his hand. Startled, he grabbed for a
paper napkin to wipe at the small mess. He knew, he just knew, Yuuko had told Doumeki to
walk him back. That conniving, controlling, over-protective…
Doumeki snapped the small phone closed, and tucked it into the front fold of his gi. He held out
his hand, clearly asking for the bento at Kimihiro's side.
Selfish bastard… Furious, Kimihiro shoved the bento box at him.
Doumeki took the box from Kimihiro's hands and his gaze narrowed on Kimihiro's face. "Do I
need to tell you what she said?"
"No! No, you don't, and I don't want to hear it!" Kimihiro turned away and flopped cross-legged
onto the spread blanket at Himawari's side. He would not, would not, look at him. "I don't need a
freaking baby-sitter!" He pried open his bento box, determined to eat and enjoy some cheerful
conversation with Himawari.
Doumeki moved to Kimihiro's immediate right and stepped into the space between Kimihiro and
Himawari. He settled cross-legged on the blanket with a grunt, seating himself between them.
Watanuki rolled his eyes. One might suppose that Doumeki was merely keeping the two from
coming into accidental physical contact, which would trigger Himawari's rather volatile and
highly dangerous condition. However, Watanuki knew for a fact that Doumeki had done it
simply to annoy him.
Doumeki turned and his golden gaze locked on Kimihiro's. He was so close Kimihiro could
actually feel his body heat. The scent of soap and temple incense drifted from him. "Yuuko
thinks you do."
Kimihiro felt his hackles lift. He scooted back, away from Doumeki's unnervingly warm
presence. "That's her! Not me!"
Doumeki's gaze narrowed to hard gold slits. "Are you a fortune-teller?"
Fortune-teller? Kimihiro stared at him. What the hell…? "No! Of course not!"
"I'll come get you after class." He turned away to pry open his flat black lunch box. "I'll get the
instructor to let you wait while I practice."
Kimihiro stared at him open mouthed. "What? No! I said I don't want to wait…!"
Doumeki picked up the chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth with one hand. He
plugged the ear on Kimihiro's side with the pinky finger of the other. Clearly, Doumeki was not
listening.
Kimihiro ranted and raved until he was red in the face.
Doumeki continued to eat with one ear plugged.
Kimihiro added kicks and gestures to his gripes and complaints, and even tried writhing on the
ground.
Doumeki turned to face Kimihiro with absolutely no expression on his face what so ever. "You
gonna eat that?" He pointed at Kimihiro's full bento box with his chopsticks.
Kimihiro grabbed for his food. "Yes I am!" He snatched up his chopsticks and stabbed it into his
box blindly. Glaring at the larger boy, he shoved the piece of food into his mouth and chewed
with extra emphasis.
Himawari burst into giggles.
Still completely expressionless, Doumeki held out his hand. "Tea."
Kimihiro reached for the thermos and a tea cup then froze. Son of a...! Who does he think I am,
his damned wife? He turned to glare at the overgrown pain in his butt.
Doumeki continued to hold out his hand, his gaze unwavering and clearly expectant.
Kimihiro handed him the cup of tea.
Doumeki took the cup of tea, and the slightest of satisfied smiles curved the very edge of his
mouth.
A hard shiver skittered up Kimihiro's spine. He jerked his gaze away. He hated it when Doumeki
looked at him like that; like he'd done something both pleasing and perverted at the same time.
Doumeki's gaze drifted down to his teacup, and in a completely emotionless voice, he announced
what he'd like for tomorrow's lunch.
Kimihiro very nearly threw his bento box at him. "I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!"
Doumeki's reply was yet another of those smug half-smirks.
Himawari's giggling and Tanpopo's amused chirping did not make Kimihiro feel any better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did I not include Internal Narration until I got to the Description layer?
Because Internal Narration is the POV character's opinion of the events happening around them.
Most authors include Internal Narration; but many, MANY of the same authors forget that the
POV character's physical observations -- what they see, and experience -- belongs in there too,
not just what they thought about it.
Once you add Description to your Dialogue and Action, you add depth perception. Instead of the
reader merely being an observer, someone who can hear and see what's going on like a movie,
Description allows the reader to step into your characters' skin and become a participant in the
story.
Get it? Got it? GOOD!
Enjoy!
On Basic Sentence Structure for Fiction

(Grammar Nazis BEWARE!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything I ever learned about writing Fiction DIDN'T come from school; not even college. In
fact, the way one writes fiction is almost the complete opposite of everything I learned in school
about writing.
In order to make my stories crystal clear in my readers' imaginations, I write in precise

Chronological Order, in the order events actually happen, PLUS in the order that the eye sees
it.
Case in point, when describing a character, I describe them from top to bottom, in the order that
the eye notices them. Face, hair, upper body, arms, hands, then lower body, legs, feet, then over
all impression. <-- In that order, UNLESS a body part is doing an action, such as a hand
(grasping, slapping, twiddling a pencil, etc…) or the feet, (walking, jumping, kicking, running,
etc…) When someone is doing an action, that action ALWAYS comes first.
Try it yourself. Go to the mall, or any other place where people gather, and LOOK at the people
around you. Pay close attention to what you notice first then next. Next, watch a movie and look
at how the camera pans across someone.
-- Top to bottom = friendly

-- Bottom to top = sexual
-- Hands (weapons) to top to bottom = fearful/threatened
THAT'S how it should appear on the page because THAT'S how it will appear in your readers'
imaginations.
-- Example:
He flipped up his middle finger, narrowed his green eyes, and tightened his full mouth. His red
hair spilled in messy finger-combed spikes across his brow and down his back. His shoulders
were stiff with tension under his dirty white t-shirt. He stood with his booted feet apart and his
jean-clan knees slightly bent as though braced for a punch.
And yet…
-- Writing in chronological order means that your sentence structure can't always conform to the
'proper grammar' rules. This is because the basic composition of an Essay <-- what they teach
you to write in class, isn't anything like the composition of a Story.
Essay composition:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Tell them what you're going to tell them.
2. Tell them in detail.
3. Tell them why you told them.
Story composition:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. What happened first.
2. What happened next.
3. What happened after.
Essays are NOT written in Chronological order, they're written in order of Impact.
Essay:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. This is Important!
2. These are all the reasons why it's important.
3. This is why it's important to You.
See the difference?
One of the greatest enemies of fiction that one is actually taught in school is the use of the word:
"as."
The Evil "As."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In school, they teach you that "as" is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together,
rather in the same way as you would use "and." Unfortunately, "as" doesn't quite work the same
way as an "and" in fiction.
-- "As" means, "things that happened simultaneously."

-- "And" means, "this happened next."
In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one thing at a time.
The only things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of
things.
-- Example:
All the soldiers marched.
(And I didn't even need an "as.")
Edit: I'm not saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written, it's that using "as" is not the way
to do it. Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all at
the same time -- until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed in the order in
which they happened so as to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.
As far as I'm concerned, the only place an "as" belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence.
-- Example:
As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See?
Where "As" goes WRONG…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I consider "as" a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in my
sentence structure.
What went wrong?

-- In fiction, the word "as" usually marks where a sentence has gone Out of Chronological
Order.
-- Example:
The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.
Think: Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The vampire crouched over his victim.
2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.
The chronological way to write this would be:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.
Why does this matter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset
their mental movie of your story. Every time this happens, the reader has to stop, reread, then
reset their imagination. In short, it makes your story more Work than Fun to read. That's bad,
very, very, BAD. Do this enough times and your reader will stop reading your story to go find
something easier to imagine. In fact, some readers will not only drop your story, never to read it
again, they'll avoid anything else you write.
How to Grammar Check for "as":
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do a Search/Replace substituting "as" for "and," then go back and read through your entire work.
If "and" doesn't read right in your sentence, then the sentence is most likely Out of
Chronological Order.
-- Example:
The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.
~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Search/Replace:
The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"And" doesn't quite work there, does it?
What's wrong?
-- As written, that sentence implies that the werewolf flattened his ears THEN faced the hunter --
which is Not what happened.
Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The werewolf faced the hunter.
2. He was angry.
2. He flattened his ears.
-- Adjusted:
The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Now the "he" doesn't fit, so let's chop that out.
-- One more time:

The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~
See what I mean?
Rule of Thumb on the use of "AND":

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One "and" per sentence. If you need a second "and," pull out the first one and use a comma, or
use "then."
-- Example with comma:

The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, and growled.
~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Example with "then":
The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, then growled.
~~~~~~~~~~~
If you need three "ands," replace all but the last with commas.
-- Example:
The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, growled, and lunged.
~~~~~~~~~~~
If you need more than three "ands," then it's time to cut it into two separate sentences.
-- Example:
The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, and growled. He lunged and snapped.
~~~~~~~~~~~
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Fiction should ALWAYS be written in Chronological Order, even when the grammar rules say
that you don't have to for your readers' Visual CLARITY. Believe me, they'll appreciate it!
Enjoy!
Essentials of a Short Story

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quotes raped from a critique of Nathanial Hawthorn's Twice Told Tales by
Edgar Allen Poe - 1837
Edgar Allen Poe, celebrated as one of the finest short fiction writers of all time, was also a
literary critic. These are bits of his wisdom on writing short stories, gleaned from one of his
critiques.
"The true critic will but demand that that the (story's) design intended be accomplished, to the
fullest extent, by the means most advantageously applicable…" -- Poe
Poe's Prerequisites -- in a Nutshell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To deliver fullest satisfaction, a short story should be structured:
1) To be read in one sitting.

2) Using a deliberate number of characters and incidents.
3) With words restrained in style and tone.
4) All done that should be done, with nothing done which should not be.
Poe's Prerequisites -- in DETAIL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A short story should be structured:

1) To be read in one sitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Were we bidden to say how the highest genius (of the short story) could be most advantageously
employed for the best display of (the short story's) own powers, we should answer, without
hesitation- in the composition of a rhymed poem, not to exceed in length what might be perused
in an hour." – Poe
Translation:
-- How much can YOU read in an hour or two? THAT'S how long a short story should be.
According to most publishers, this means no more than 15k, (15,000 words) or 60 NY publishing
formatted pages. (60 pages at 12 point courier font, on an 8.5" by 11" page with 1" margins, are
counted as 250 words per page, regardless of actual word count.)
20k, or 80 NY publishing formatted pages, is considered a Novella. Magazine publishers tend to

look for 5k stories, (5,000 words) or 20 NY publishing formatted pages.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2) Using a deliberate number of characters and incidents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A skillful literary artist has constructed a tale. If wise, he has not fashioned his thoughts to
accommodate his incidents; but having conceived, with deliberate care, a certain unique or
single effect to be wrought out, he then invents such incidents- he then combines such events as
may best aid him in establishing this preconceived effect. If his very initial sentence tends not to
the out-bringing of this effect, then he has failed in his first step." – Poe
Translation:
-- Plot with a Purpose in mind, a Premise, and write your story to carry out that purpose, and
only that purpose.
If you're writing a novel you can add other 'purposes', but when you're writing a short story you
don't have the room for more than one.
"What do you mean by…purpose?"

-- Very simply…
What are you SAYING with your story? What are you trying to Show or Prove?
• The reality of Love? – Romeo & Juliet
• The pain of Jealousy? – Othello
• The results of Revenge? – Hamlet
• The path of Ambition? - Julius Caesar
Plotting is essential in all forms of fiction for cohesion. Plotting ensures that your story has all
the important bits that make a story, a STORY, such as: a beginning, a middle, and an end. It
keeps you from missing something vital – or putting something in that does not belong.
Side-tracked by a really cool subplot?

-- Does it fit with the theme of what you are trying to accomplish?
•If it does – GREAT! Is there enough room for it? (What kind of word-count limit are you
dealing with?)
•If it doesn't – GREAT! You have the makings of a whole new story! (Chop it out and make a
whole new document file just for it.)
However, Plotting does NOT have to be a chapter by chapter outline; it can be a short list of just
the important bits:
A Plot Arc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Introduction
Early trouble, revealing the character's talents and setting.
-- Boy meets Girl, (Adversary meets Proponent…)
Rising Action
Increasing tension - crisis after crisis
-- One succeeds in seducing/defeating the other.
Climax / Reversal
Point of highest tension & the story's turning point.
-- Something happens that REALLY pisses one of them off such as misunderstandings, rivals,
bad-guys in general…
Falling Action
All plot threads unravel leaving only one solution.
-- Motives & all other angsty secrets are uncovered, revealing the REAL problem.
Confrontation
Final choice, ending in hope or ruin
-- Confessions, fights, forced seductions, and begging for forgiveness…
Denouement
Resolution
-- Happily ever after…?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3) Using words restrained in style and tone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The author who aims at the purely beautiful in a prose tale is laboring at great disadvantage.
For Beauty can be better treated in the poem. Not so with terror, or passion, or horror, or a
multitude of such other points." – Poe
Translation:
-- Hunks of sweeping, emotionally blissed-out, text is generally SKIPPED in favor of: "What
happens next?" The only place for fancy words is in Description.
Why? Because in this day and age, the average book-store browsing Reader (or the fan-fiction
reader,) does not have the patience to read fancy prose.
Think I'm kidding? In this very article, how many of you have been skipping over Poe's literary-
heavy quotes to get to the Translations? (Rhetorical Question! You are not expected to answer!)
Seriously, no matter what genre you write, the average Buying Reader reads with a TV-
Watcher's attention span (about the same as a 12-year old). Unlike Poe's readers, ALL of your
readers grew up watching TV. Because of this, they're used to their stories being action packed,
directly to the point, and SHORT.
How short?
-- How long is a TV program? Sit-coms are half an hour. Actual programs are an hour - two at
the most. How much can YOU read in that amount of time? That's how short. Your story has to
fit into a TV-program slot -- and compete with the next program they plan to watch.
As a rule, only the college-heavy teacher-types read literary prose for pleasure. Everybody else
(the BUYING public) reads pulp fiction.
DESCRIPTION is a MUST in Modern Fiction!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Our modern-day, TV-addict readers are trained (by their TV-watching,) to be VISUALLY
stimulated. These readers PICTURE their stories as they read them, and expect enough
description to be able to make those mind-pictures crystal clear – AND emotionally visceral.
They not only want to SEE it, they want to FEEL it too -- but they don't have much of an
attention span, so every word must count!
Description should be trimmed down to:

• Distinct nouns rather than vague nouns - Toyota instead of car.
• 1 Adjective per Distinct Noun – The red Toyota
• 2 Adjectives per Sensation – smell, taste, texture, sound, view – "I stared with horror at the
dilapidated, red Toyota."
• 2 Adjectives per Emotion – anger, lust, love, joy, misery – "The bitter ache in my weary
heart…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4) All done that should be done --With nothing done which should not be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"In the whole composition there should be no word written, of which the tendency, direct or
indirect, is not to the one pre-established design. And by such means, with such care and skill, a
picture is at length painted which leaves in the mind of him who contemplates it with a kindred
art, a sense of the fullest satisfaction." –Poe
Translation:
-- Make every character, object, event…, do double duty. Don't just throw something in the story
for decoration like a sex scene, or a piano in the living room. Make that piano, or that sex scene
IMPORTANT to the story. Make something happen because they had sex. Make something
happen because they played the piano.
This is more commonly known as:
The "Gun on the Mantelpiece" rule of Fiction:

-- "If a gun is shown on the mantelpiece in Chapter One, it better go off by Chapter Three – and
there had better be a damned good reason for that gun to go off."
Applied to Romance:
-- "If a Kiss is shown in the living room in Chapter One, Sex better happen by Chapter Three –
and there had better be a damned good reason for that Sex to happen."
Applied to Sci-Fi:
-- "If a mysterious artifact is shown in the living room in Chapter One, the mysterious artifact
had better cause chaos by Chapter Three – and there had better be a damned good reason for that
chaos to happen."
The trick to knowing what to include in any story, is whether or not you intend to actively USE
it. If the character trait or object does not matter to the plot – skip it. If it doesn't Actively MOVE
the Plot, (even a teeny bit,) you don't need to include it.
The shorter the story the LESS room you have to work with, so the only details that you need are
what actually changes the plot -- even character details. If that detail has no bearing on the plot,
you don't need it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poe's Prerequisites – Translated

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- A short story should be Plotted:
1) Between 5,000 words, and 15,000.
2) With a Beginning, Middle, End, and a Point in mind.
3) For a TV-watcher's visually oriented (12-year old) attention span.
4) Using only what is needed to make your point, and complete the story.
Go Here to read the entire critique, by Edgar Allen Poe.

http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/poe/works/criticis/twice_to.html
Enjoy!
"I was just wondering what you think about interior monologues, long passages of reflection?" -
- Curious Kitty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A note on:
-- Interior Monologues
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether you are considering adding a lengthy monologue to a story, or intend the monologue to
be the story itself where the focus of the entire story is on one character's thoughts and feelings
with very little action -- from my observations and experimentation, the readers either love them
or hate them. There's no in-between.
However, it is notable that the internal monologue stories that are sought out most frequently
tend to focus on a profound emotion of some kind: grief, loneliness, heartache... Usually by
either those seeking to deal with such an emotion, as a kind of therapy, or by those that have
never felt such emotions. (Strong emotional stories are extremely popular among young adults.)
In both cases, not only does the reader seek to submerge themselves in these profound emotions,
they are also looking for a solution, a way back out from under these feelings.
In other words, one shouldn't try to tackle something like this unless one already has a solution to
the story problem in mind. (You really don't want the hate mail that will come when the readers
are left hanging.)
I'm an escapist by nature, so I fall into the other category -- those that can only handle interior
monologues in extremely tiny doses. I prefer my emotional deep thoughts mixed in with the
character doing something; an action scene flavored by internal narration, rather than a whole
story told in monologue form.
Being older (in my 40's,) I've actually had to deal with these sorts of emotions; death, grief,
heartache, loss... on a far too personal basis, so dwelling on them (reading long emotional
passages,) isn't something I'm comfortable with.
Interestingly enough, the scanlated Japanese novellas that I've been reading seem to be almost
solid immersions into emotion with action sprinkled in to give it a sense of motion -- even if the
motion is merely circular.
However, one should take into account that scanlations are extremely subjective. They're chosen
for their appeal to the English-reading folks scanlating the story, so there's no way to tell of this
is a common Japanese style, or merely a sign of the scanlators' preferences.
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When deciding whether or not your monologue is appropriate for what you are writing, consider
your target Reading Audience.
If you're writing a story steeped in emotional upswings such as a Romance, lengthy monologues
steeped in strong emotions will probably fit right in. However, if you're writing something with
lots of action such as an Adventure, you just might want to consider sprinkling bits of light
action among your passages of deep thought to keep it from dragging down the pace you've
already set for your story.
Enjoy!
Tricks for Writing DESCRIPTION
------------- Original Message -----------

"I think the biggest problem I have is lack of detail. I can see things in my head, but other than
the general surroundings, I'm always too intent on what my characters are thinking, or doing, or
about to do to remember to add the details necessary to paint a really clear picture of where they
are and their environment." -- Wanna Rite Reel Gud
The way to deal with that is by writing what you can. When you're done, go back and put in all
the rest. Also, in situations like this, a beta-reader is your best bet at seeing where you skipped
something.
As for What to describe and How Much to describe…
Getting the IMAGE on Paper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avoid Simple Nouns:
- Use a Specific Noun rather than a simple and vague noun to automatically pop in description.
Instead of: the door, the car, the tree, the house, the sword, the robe, the hat...
Write: the French doors, the Subaru, the oak, the Victorian cottage, the claymore, the yukata, the
fedora...
Adjectives are your Friend!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Adjectives give your objects and locations emotional flavor and impact. The trick is not to
over-do it! Moderation - moderation - moderation.
One adjective per Noun:

- ADD an Adjective to a specific Noun. The ornate French tapestry, the rusty Subaru, the quaint
Victorian cottage, the gleaming claymore, the blood-stained yukata, the gray fedora.
Two adjectives per Sensation:

- Sight, Sound, Taste, Texture, Scent - are all perceived through the senses. The glaringly red
French doors, the seductively throbbing jazz, the creamy bite of yogurt, the nubby white
dishcloth, the pungent musk of wet dog.

"...I think that particularly striking or important items deserve a few sentences to sketch them in
and give the appropriate details. Still, for many scenes, most readers have enough 'stock
imagery' in their memories to supply a working interpretation. They will garb members of a
corporate meeting in dark suits, give soldiers rifles or spears depending on the era and place,
and so on." -- Literature Aficionado
Absolutely! Using a direct noun with only one or two adjectives can create an entire image.
Members of a corporate meeting:

- His shimmering black Armani suit
- Her expensively tailored scarlet Kaspar suit
Soldiers
- The red-coated British soldier
- The Roman centurion
- The woad-painted Celtic warrior
- The Viking
Buildings
- The gleaming steel and glass skyscraper
- The run-down Victorian mansion
- The towering Chinese pagoda
- The rustic Japanese sukiya cottage
The Not-So Dreaded -ly and –ing Words:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Every once in a while you will hear someone whine that you shouldn't use words that end in –ly
or -ing. The "No -ly or –ing words!" whiners are usually the same people that say: "Don't use
Adjectives!"
Think people, how the heck are you supposed to describe something without adjectives? You
CAN'T.
The "No -ly or –ing Words" rule DOES NOT APPLY to Fiction!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- This rule comes from Basic School Grammar - grammar that was intended for NON-Fiction,
such as reports, essays, and other boring, description-less, education-related, or business-related
writing that doesn't require description. Fiction THRIVES on description.
Still Feeling Guilty?

- If you can find another word that says the same thing without ending in -ly, use it. If you can't,
then use what you have.
Making the Reader FEEL the Passion -- Make the prose PURPLE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Sensually-Descriptive words are the key to Passionate and Romantic fiction. If it implies a
Sense: sound, taste, sight, texture, scent…, you're halfway there!
So, where do you get those passionate words? From Trained Professionals: Other Writers. I
pulled out my favorite trashy novels and hunted down phrases that really caught my attention
and then I made a list of all the PRETTY words.
salacious humor
carnal gratification
languorous bliss
shrieking culmination
disconcerting stimulation
brutal carnal rapture
exquisite torment
lustful cravings
irresolute yearning
skittish laughter
(It's Not plagiarism unless you are copying whole paragraphs word for word.)
I also dug through my thesaurus and made another list of all the adjectives I use over and over
and over...
Assault
- attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive,
onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation,
Beautiful
- admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful,
divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent,
marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime,
Dangerous
- alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous,
precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked,
Painful
- aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful,
excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible,
throbbing, tormenting,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking for an Online thesaurus?
http://thesaurus.reference.com/
Thesaurus.Com
Just put the word you use too often in the search bar and pick a new one from the list that pops
up!

"I'm surprised the purple prose avocation didn't have people up in arms. That's normally
frowned upon here, but I think there's a difference between bad/overly done purple prose and
vivid description." -- Fan-fiction Writer
I think the main problem with purple prose is when it goes on to the point of being ridiculous.
Purple prose is a lot like candy. Too much and it will make you sick to your stomach. Used in
tiny amounts, a word here or there, can add emotional punch to an otherwise clinically dry scene.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How & When to Describe It:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rule of Thumb #1:
-- The moment the Viewpoint Character notices it -- DESCRIBE IT!
Picture the scene in your head like a movie. If it shows up in your scene - it belongs on the page.
Rule of Thumb #2:

-- Description should always reflect the OPINION of the Viewpoint Character.
Oscar the Grouch is not going to see - or describe - a field of roses the same way as Big Bird.
Darth Vader's opinion (and description,) of Yoda is not going to resemble Luke Skywalker's.
Rule of Thumb #3:

- Limit your detailed descriptions to stuff that is Relevant.
How do you tell what's relevant & what's not? How IMPORTANT is it to the story? Will this
object/setting/character matter later?
* If it's Important, then describe it in loving detail.

* If it's only incidental, than only the tiniest sketch is needed.
Note: Fantasy Characters should get the opportunity to show off the full extent of their powers at
least once because those powers are Relevant to who that character is.
Rule of Thumb #4:

- Moderation! Moderation! Moderation!
Once you have described a setting or a person thoroughly, you don't need to keep describing
them -- unless they change. A small clue here and there, such as keeping to specific nouns, will
do.
WHAT to Describe:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scenery
- Every new scene should open with a snapshot of description that details the stage the action is
about to happen in.
No more than 60 words max. If you need more than that to describe your setting - splice it into
your Action.
Location Changes
- Every time the scenery changes: every new room, every new view, every new place they arrive
at - gets described; so the reader can see it, and experience it too.
Locations get 30 words max, because that's about how much the average person can catch in a
single look. The rest of the details should be mixed in between the actions and dialogue as the
character gets a better look around.
Note: Fantasy and Sci-Fi Require MORE description.

- In most sci-fi's and fantasies, the otherworldly SETTING is just as important as the characters
because the differences between Fantasy & Reality actually affect the plot -- such as things that
are possible in a Fantasy setting, but aren't in the normal world, and vice versa.
If your story is based in the normal world, and only the characters are fantastic, then the setting
only matters in their immediate location and how it affects them directly. For example, rain has
more of an immediate effect on characters than would sunshine - unless they're a vampire.
The snapshot at the beginning of every scene is still the same length (60 words) - but you have to
continue to add more description as the characters move through the world.
"It's also a good idea to visit a place that is similar to the scene of the happenings; if you can of
course. You can't well describe something you don't have an idea of." -- Word Scholar
Nothing can replace first-hand experience for describing something, but one should never
underestimate the power of the Internet.
Just about any place in the world is available for your viewing pleasure from photographs and
interactive panoramas to maps and floor plans. Journal blogs written by travelers can also be a
really good resource for those writing about places they have never experienced.
No one resource will ever cover it all, but then that's what browsers such as Google.com are for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
People
- Think of how you see characters in a movie -- the way that the camera pans across the
characters. THAT'S how you describe the people your character sees. Start at the top and
describe down. Bottom to Top description implies that the Body is more important than the
Mind. It implies that the person being viewed is an OBJECT, their feelings are of no
consequence to the viewer.
People get three whole sentences max. If you need more than three sentences, thread the rest in
with the dialogue and action.

"While it may be convenient and easy to describe someone from head to toe every time, it gets
dull after the second or third such 'shot'..." -- Literature Aficionado
No argument there. However, it's a good idea to describe the characters and their settings at least
ONCE, preferably when the POV character first lays eyes on them. After that, only tiny
reminders are needed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Describing the Viewpoint Character - Yes or No?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- YES! YES! YES! I don't know about you, but when I'm reading a story, I wanna know whose
head I'm in as soon as I'm in that head! And I want to know what that person LOOKS LIKE!
(Damn it...)
NEVER assume that the person reading your story is familiar with the fandom! For example, I
would have never bought and read the 'Yu Yu Hakusho' manga series or the 'Full Metal
Alchemist' series if I hadn't first read some rather compelling fan-fiction.

"...I'd like to emphasize that you wrote "viewpoint character" since that's different than when the
thing or person is first introduced." -- Fan-fiction Writer
Actually it SHOULDN'T be. The ONLY one who should be noticing anything and have an
opinion on what is being viewed should be the viewpoint character. This includes their own
appearance.
Only if you are using an omniscient POV, the Camera's Eye viewpoint should those descriptions
be cut and dried, basically written with no emotional impact at all, strictly, "this is this, and they
were there".
The "story-teller/ fairy-tale" style of writing is completely different. In this style the story-teller
is a character too, such as in the Lemony Snicket books.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Describing the Viewpoint Character.
Try to avoid using mirrors, or other reflective surfaces. This technique has seen far too much use
and abuse even by professional authors. However, if that's all you have then use it, but sparingly!
Rather than describe the character in one lump paragraph, the technique I prefer to describe my
POV character is to have the character DOING something. As the character goes through the
motions of whatever he happens to be doing, they 'notice' this part of them selves, or that, and
express an opinion. Each new Action brings other parts of the character into focus until you've
described the whole character -- without bogging down the story.
EXAMPLE: from DIABOLIC

-- Vincent picked up his leather glove. He slid his left hand into the fine leather and smoothed
the sleeve up his forearm. He flexed his fingers. It was nice having full use of his hand again. He
dragged on the black y-back muscle shirt. It was one of the few shirts that would allow for his
wings. He pulled on some black jockeys, then stepped into his butter soft black leather pants. He
zipped the fly but left it unbuttoned at the waist. Blood and hell, it felt good to be back in clothes.
He smeared the steam from the mirror on the back of the facility door. Carefully, he wound the
scarlet cloth around his head to cover his brow, not bothering to move his long black hair out of
the way. The cloth was to keep from accidentally frightening anyone when he invoked his beast
and his third eye became visible. Oddly, because of the way his third eye perceived the world, as
energy rather than matter, the eye had no problems seeing right through the cloth.
He stared at his reflection; black hair, scarlet bandanna, scarlet eyes, black clothes -- his usual
appearance. No visible changes. It was as though nothing had happened.
Quiet wafted through him, easing the tension in his limbs, soothing his mind, calming his heart -
except for one small corner that ached. He turned his back on the mirror. It would go away,
eventually.
He set the towel around his neck, his hair wasn't completely dry, and opened the facility door.
Cloud was sitting on the edge of Vincent's bed facing the facility door. Early morning sunlight
poured through the window on the right, turning his spiked blond hair to soft gold. He was
dressed in loose black sweatpants and a sleeveless gray sweatshirt. He'd clearly just gotten out of
bed. However, his brows were low over his neon blue eyes, his lips were drawn in a tight thin
line, and his arms were crossed. "Welcome back."
Vincent stiffened only slightly. He picked up the towel around his neck and set to scrubbing at
his damp hair. "Thank you." He'd hoped that Cloud had gone back to Midgar, back to his new
courier business, back to Tifa and the children he'd chosen to watch over.
The farmhouse was Cid's technically, but it was an open house to the whole team. Sitting just
outside of Midgar, it was pretty much their personal way-station, a place to stop over on their
way to other destinations. Any of them could be there at any given time. However, he hadn't
expected Cloud to still be there.
Vincent very nearly smiled. Wishful thinking on his part. Cid made a lot of noise, but he wasn't
one to actually pry. Cloud, on the other hand, seemed to assume that his friends' problems were
his problems too. The kid worried. It was kind of sweet, but Cloud was the last person he wanted
involved in this...sordid affair.
Cloud's lip curled. It wasn't a smile. "Care to tell me what happened?"
Vincent strode to the foot of his bed and picked up the single-sleeved leather gambeson jacket,
refusing to meet Cloud's angry blue gaze. He slid his left arm into the sleeve. The jacket was
strictly a layer of padding for his armor and stopped right at the bottom of his ribcage. "No."
Cloud dropped his chin and his eyes narrowed. "No?"
Vincent shrugged to settle the loose back panel between his folded wings. He didn't want to
spread his wings wide in front of Cloud. Although invisible to the average human eye, each wing
spread fully his height and a half in length, and half his height in width. He didn't want to take
the chance that Cloud's physical enhancements would make out that something was there. The
kid knew too much about him as it was. He buckled the back panel to each side panels at the
very bottom. His gaze flicked to Cloud's then dropped. He drew the front of the padded jacket
across and buckled it closed on his right side. "It was a personal matter."
"Personal...?" Cloud choked. "Vincent, it was really obvious that you were kidnapped." His
words were soft, but vehement. "You were gone for three whole days!"
Vincent lifted his articulated arm with its chest harness, leaving the clawed hand gauntlet on the
bed. He slid his padded arm into the armored sleeve and set the spaulder on his shoulder joint.
He offered Cloud a quick smile. "I escaped. The end." He looked away giving his complete
attention to fastening the chest harness that supported the entire articulated arm. Hopefully,
Cloud would take the hint that he didn't want to talk about it.
"Damn it, Vincent...!" Cloud lunged off the bed and paced along the side of the bed on bare feet.
His movements were smooth and economic, almost feline in nature. If he'd actually been a cat
his tail would have lashed angrily. He stopped and glared. "Is he dead?" His voice deepened.
"Tell me you killed him."
Vincent sighed. Cloud was clearly in the mood to be stubborn and wasn't about to take hints. He
adjusted the straps to his upper arm rerebrace, and then lower arm vambrace. "He is most
definitely dead." Vincent snorted. It was the absolute truth, and the crux of the whole problem;
Sephiroth had been dead to begin with. He gave his arm a shake to make sure the elbow couter
settled in the right spot.
"What did he want from you?"
Vincent lifted his clawed gauntlet. A new body. His cheeks heated. And my body too. He slid his
leather-gloved hand into the armored hand and worked the buckles that held it to the underside of
his vambrace. "He wanted something I wasn't willing to give."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, I DID use a mirror in this snippet. However, that was only to describe Vincent's eye color
and hair color. The rest of his physical description was handled by the act of getting dressed
WHILE he spoke with Cloud.
You will hear many people say that describing a character in First-person POV is difficult.
Actually, It's no more difficult than describing them in Third-person Close POV. All the same
techniques apply.
DESCRIPTION ~ NOT just for pretty Pictures.

WARNING! ~ Missing descriptive cues can cause: Author Angst!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time, when I was a beginning writer of Smut, I wrote a kick ass, "World of Grim
Darkness" werewolf erotica story. I had a right to think the story kicked ass. I got a lot of letters
telling me so.
Then one day I got a lovely letter gushing on how much they liked my story. It was so funny!
They went into detail explaining exactly how pleased they were and how witty my story was in
so many places - but I hadn't ended it right. Where was the punch line?
The PUNCH LINE?!
Yes, fellow writers, my serious "World of Grim Darkness" werewolf erotica had been
completely misinterpreted - as an erotic Comedy!
Talk about your total author disillusionment.

This misinterpretation happened because I had written strong sarcastic dialogue, (a trademark in
all my stories,) but I had left too many other cues out. It was not apparent at all, to this reader
that my characters were speaking sarcastically - counter to their true feelings.
In short, I didn't have enough of the POV character's feelings displayed through inner dialogue or
body-language cues for the reader to pick up what I was really trying to show. (Sigh...)
And that's how I learned the most important rule of fiction:
What CAN be Misinterpreted WILL be Misinterpreted.
According to my current fan letters, I DON'T make that mistake any more.
In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you want your readers to see exactly what you saw when you envisioned your story,
DESCRIPTION is the Only way to get your imagination across to the Reader.
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: These instructions are intended for Beginners, and for those looking for a few
short-cuts to jump-start their writing. If this advice does not agree with your style of writing, by
all means, take what you can use and ignore the rest.
For the record...

-- The description word counts limits I include in here are meant to be GUIDELINES not exact
amounts, 'kay?
Advanced CHARACTER Creation ~ for Fiction

Hero ~ Villain ~ Ally
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are three essential characters in every story. There may be any number of side characters,
but in traditional Adventures, and Romances of every stripe (erotic or not,) the main conflict is
usually, if not always, a TRIANGLE of complimentary opposites.
Translation: You could tell the whole story with ONLY these Three Characters; perhaps not
with any real detail, but you could still do the entire basic plotline.
THREE Characters?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sure you're familiar with the names Hero & Villain or Antagonist & Protagonist already.
Those are pretty darn standard. However, always there, though seldom named is a Third
character, the Ally -- the Companion to the Hero or Villain
The Invisible Character: the Ally
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Ally's function is to be the Middle-Man, the nay-sayer that presents an opposing view to
both the Hero and the Villain. The Ally is the Obstacle Character who adds complications to the
plot, making matters worse for both the Hero and the Villain, generally by getting in the way.
In Romances, this character is the Love Interest. In modern mainstream fiction, and tons of
movies, this is the trouble-inducing Best Friend or Interfering Relative, (often a younger sibling).
In comic books, they're the Side-kick. In traditional fiction, they were known as the Victim.
In ALL cases, the Ally's fate turns the plot at the Climax, usually by needing to be rescued, and
more often than not, the Ally is also the story's narrator, or the Viewpoint Character.
Okay… So, if you already have a Main Character and a Villain, all you need is an Ally, a
trouble-maker to stir the pot…err, PLOT.
Here's the tricky part. When dealing with a story with a large cast, the three characters swap out,
they change places at Every Scene Change ~ BUT ~ each scene still only contains, three main
characters.
Main Characters: Hellsing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Protagonist: Alucard
Antagonist: Sir Integra Hellsing
Ally: Seras, Victoria
When these three Hellsing characters occupy a scene TOGETHER, though it's rare, those are the
parts they play. However, when Alucard & Seras Victoria are in a scene together, Alucard plays
the Protagonist and Seras the Ally (and narrator of the scene,) with whatever third character
being the Antagonist. On the flip-side, when Sir Integra Hellsing and Alucard share a scene, Sir
Integra plays the Protagonist and Alucard the Ally. Whatever third character shows up usually
plays the Antagonist.
Confusing isn't it? It gets even more so when the cast is as large as that of Naruto, or Lord of the
Rings.
Memorize this: The Larger the Cast, the Longer the Story.
Why is this so important? The more people you involve in your story, the more plot-threads
you'll need to tie up at the end. In other words, every time you switch your triad of characters,
you are in effect creating a whole new story that MUST be concluded IN ADDITION to your
lead characters' story.
This means that if you only plan to write a short story, you need to keep the story focused on
your main three characters. That doesn't mean you can't have other characters, it just means that
those extra characters shouldn't contribute to the story as anything more than window-dressing or
props.
Once you decide on your Three Main Characters, how do you make them work together? By
figuring out what makes each character tick…
The Quick and Dirty Method:

THREE QUESTIONS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Borrowed from Paperback Writer: http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/
Have each of your three characters answer these three questions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Who am I and what do I do?
2. What do I want?
3. What is the worst thing that could happen to me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first question, "Who am I?" should clue you in as to what each characters' greatest weakness
is. The second question, "What do I want?" gives you their motives. As for the third question, by
combining the answers to "…the worst thing," this should give you the big reversal, the story's
darkest moment at the center of the story.
Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 - I am an heiress and a Knight to my Queen.
2 - I am on a holy crusade to destroy the unholy monsters that prey on humans.
3 - Give me control of a creature more monstrous than any monster out there -- and make me like
him as a person.
1 - I'm a Vampire that preys on other vampires.

2 - I want sanity.
3 - Make me so monstrously insane I have to voluntarily choose to be enslaved by one who can
control me.
1 - I am a Cop that became a vampire.

2 - I want to save lives.
3 - Have me discover that the vampire that made me is dangerously insane.
This method works especially well when you have three excellent characters but you're not quite
sure what kind of story you want to write for them.
Advanced Character Development

Traits & Flaws
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To thoroughly understand what makes your characters tick, use this character sheet for Each of
your three main characters. This method is particularly useful when you intend to write
something the size of a novel.
Character Sheet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Name:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Designation: "I am a…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Positive Trait: "I'm liked because…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Negative Trait: "I'm disliked because…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Ego flaw: "Makes me great yet could destroy me…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Ambition: "I want…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Motive: "I'm doing this because…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Internal Conflict: "I am troubled by…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• External Conflict: "I am thwarted by…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Secret: "I don't know or I am hiding…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Ordeal/Reversal: "Last thing I ever want to happen…?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Epiphany: "I will discover…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Bio:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'll notice that I left out some of the more obvious things found in most character sheets: jobs,
skills, physical descriptions, and other technical data. This was done deliberately. By using a
character sheet that maps out only the Heart and Mind of your character, you're free to use the
SAME character in other stories under other names.
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The fastest way to make characters is by starting with a familiar character, such as a movie
character or actor, and warping them to suit your needs. Both of these methods should prove
handy to do just that whether you are working with known characters for a fan-fiction or creating
new ones for something entirely original.
Enjoy!
The Trackless Wasteland known as: The MIDDLE
The middle (of a story) KILLS me. I freeze when I have to decide which way things are going to
go, and how, and that happens during the middle for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Middle, middle, middle... It's the Slough of Despond!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Middle is where I usually fizzle out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The middle is DANGEROUS territory.
Why? Because the Middle of a story is where you have a million-and-one options, a million-and-
one directions to choose from, and a million-and-one ways to really show off your writing skills.
The Middle is also, where you have a million-and-one opportunities to really screw up your story
for good. Opportunities that will send you spiraling into ever tightening circles that eventually
jam you into a corner you can't get out of. In short: get you Lost in your own story.
You KNOW you're Lost when you hit that point where you're not sure what to do next. Details
and points of logic start tripping you up. Characters, situations, and points of view start evolving
all by themselves. They can be fun and often fascinating, but for some reason, they never bring
you anywhere close to where you plan to End.
You did plan an End right?
The #1 Reason why writers lose themselves in the Middle is because they started writing without
a solid idea of exactly where they wanted to END. Basically, they plunked themselves down in
front of their word processor and started writing -- and that's it. No plot, no plan, no outline, and
no clue about what direction they wanted their story to go in. AKA: Writing by the Seat of their
Pants.
The Fastest way out of any wasteland, especially a bogged down Middle, is Choose a
Destination -- an END. Once you've figured out where you want to go, break out your trusty
roadmap to figure out where you are and what major highways are closest to you that will take
you there.
Simple, no?
Actually no, it's Not Simple. In fact, it's very often PAINFUL. Choosing a destination when
you're already halfway through often means hacking out huge reams of text you've spent days,
weeks, or months on simply because that stuff is no longer relevant to the End you have in mind.
So what do you do with all that text you no longer need? You SAVE it as its own document and
use it later for its own story -- a story you WILL have an end for before you begin this time,
right?
"But what if it's already posted, like on a story site?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's a reason I only post when I know the end is in sight -- but that's me. In cases like this, I
advise Finishing the story COMPLETELY -- without posting! Then repost the whole thing in
one shot. Basically, tear the whole thing down and repost the whole thing back up in one night.
And for God's sake, don't post a public apology! No one wants to read that crap! They're there to
read a Story. They could care less about how the author pissed themselves. If someone asks,
answer privately and discreetly.
Okay, here are some ways to get through the MIDDLE -- before it gets You.
The Confrontation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the huge dramatic Confrontation with plenty of special effects and narrow escapes that
happens right at the very end of the Middle. The fallout from the glorious Middle event uncovers
special powers, and secrets such as the Master Bad Guy, which kicks the story straight toward
the climactic end.
This type of Middle is most often seen in high adventure stories and comic books.
Just about every comic-book movie that's come out has a huge Middle Confrontation that forces
the main character to use their Special Powers. This invariably brings them to be noticed by the
Master Bad Guy, which in turn heads them straight toward the movie's climactic battle.
The Mini Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Mini Arc is a whole little storyline of its own plopped smack in the Middle. It's connected to
the main story, but the focus shifts onto a different set of circumstances and characters. It's a
little story wholly contained in the Middle designed to expose characters and situations that are
vaguely relevant to the main plot.
The Mini Arc is actually something of an antique style. It was very common in the turn of the
century stories, but not used much in modern tales as it takes an awful lot of attention away from
the main characters.
Jane Austin's romances all have a central Mini Arc where another whole set of characters goes
through their own romantic adventure with the main characters only slightly involved. JRR
Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series was pretty much a whole pile of Mini Arcs threaded together.
Suddenly Sub-Plot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sudden Subplot is a watered-down version of the Mini-Arc. It's a situation that suddenly
develops and has to be dealt with without actually being a major part of the story. Contained
completely in the Middle, the Sudden Subplot generally introduces you to some new characters
and/or a new threat. Once that's solved, the main character leaves those characters and that
situation behind to go on with the rest of the story.
The Star Wars movies ALL had a Sudden Subplot jammed in the middle, the most infamous of
the lot being the Pod Race in The Phantom Menace.
Comic Relief
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Right there in the Middle, a flamboyant new supporting character tromps out onto the stage.
They only have cameo shots elsewhere in the story, but in the Middle they take over to add
important information and/or tools that kick the main characters straight for the Climax in the
most entertaining fashion possible.
Traditionally they're known as the Comic Relief character and most often seen in old-time
theater and older movies.
Edna Mode of The Incredibles is one of the more obvious of these characters. Another example
would be the mechanical genius that supplies James Bond with cool new gadgets right there in
the center of the movie.
In the old Abbot and Costello movies, the Middle is where Costello has a whole scene to himself
where in his fumbling he discovers who the real bad guys are, ends up knowing a vital piece of
information, or accidentally gains the missing object that everyone is looking for -- though no
one believes him.
The Reversal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Reversal is where the Worst Possible Scenario happens and everything goes to hell in a
hand-basket. Basically, the main characters make it to their goal -- only to have their hard won
victory snatched right out of their hands.
The Reversal is damned near trademark for the Indiana Jones movies. Every single success that
Indy has is not only taken from him it triggers a situation that he barely escapes with his life. Not
that any of that stops him from trying again and again...
This type of Middle is most commonly seen in Horror stories where the monster is successfully
killed only he's not dead, or captured only to have him escape. Only now, the monster is pissed
off and goes directly after the main characters leading straight to the Climax.
In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Middle can be the most horrifying part of your story to deal with, but if you PLAN for it, the
Middle can become the central Masterpiece that makes the whole thing worth reading.
The methods I've listed are best chosen during the planning stages of your story, but they can be
applied after the fact with just as much success -- as long as you don't mind taking a hack saw to
your story.
Enjoy!
RESEARCH is your Best Friend.
"...for bigger fictions (maybe 10-20 chapters, or more) for a big fan fiction or OC fiction, how
much do you plan out?" -- Wanna Rite Reel Gud
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How much do I plan out for one of my novels...?

-- I detail everything. Seriously. I believe in a Total Immersion style of writing. In other words, I
want to know the world so well, I can simply step into the mind and skin of my main character
and LIVE the story.
How do I do that...?
I start with a basic plot formula and extrapolate on certain points as needed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Romance needs extra doses of lover's angst, Gothics need psychological breakdowns, Horrors
need room for monster attacks, Sci-Fi's and Fantasies need moments of wonder... This gives me
a rough plot outline to work from.
Next, I break down each of the Three Main Characters: Hero/Ally/Villain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is to make sure that they are 'psychologically' in sync with the Plot and Each Other, so their
actions/reactions will mesh in the way I intend. (Ahem... That their personalities will clash
nicely.) For more details on this, read: Advanced CHARACTER Creation
If I'm doing a Historical, I also look up the four years they were in High School (if it existed,)
and check out what books, songs, plays, movies, and/or TV shows were popular during that time.
Believe it or not, those are the most common foundational points in most people's personality.
Think I'm kidding? Look up your own high school years and check out what books, TV shows,
songs and Movies were out during that time. Now consider how much those thing STILL
influence you today? (If you're still in school, check out your Mom's or your Dad's high school
years. The results will be shocking!)
Once I get my main characters down, I sketch out the major support characters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't go into detail on them. Just names, jobs, physical descriptions, and what I've based their
personality on, (Scorpio and an INTJ?) or who. (Riddick under a new name?)
Why not detail the Support characters too? Because I don't want to find myself attached to a
character that ISN'T who the story is about.
Then, I map out the LOCATIONS I intend to use.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Location Research is especially important if I'm writing a Historical piece. I begin by researching
the NEWS local to that area.
Did riots break out the summer my story happens? Was there a killing snowstorm that winter?
Droughts? Floods? Fires, Quakes...? Weather and social conditions are vitally important because
these conditions will make or break all the plot points caused by Setting. If one location won't
work-- "Oops, on that day, there's a riot on that street..." --I'll have to thrash out either a way
around it or find a whole new location--or a new Time Period.
Case in point, I seriously thought about writing a story that took place in Early-Industrial Japan.
Then I discovered that Japan was in and out of war with Russia and China that whole period
because of WWI, plus a few other less than savory--and still hotly debated--skirmishes in Korea.
Then there was the Kanto Earthquake and hundreds of massive city-wide fires. Also, their Justice
system was NOT Just. (If you had money, you were innocent. If you didn't--you weren't.) In
short, it was waaaaaaaaay, too much work to thread my little story in the middle of that mess.
Then there's the WORLD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I'm using this world, it's simply a matter of taking notes on the mundane details of whatever
location I plan to use, but if I'm writing a fantasy, or sci-fi...?
How many hours in a day, days in a week, or a month...? (Is there a moon on this planet--or
two?) How long is a year? Then comes, an Education system, a medical system, a money system,
inventions, and/or magic system, what occupations are available...etc. Also needed is a political
system and history for that country or set of countries for that last 200 years--or more.
For ALL the gory details on making your own world from scratch, I suggest: Patricia C.
Wrede's Worldbuilder Questions. It's frikken HUGE but it quite literally covers Everything.
Next is GENRE SPECIFIC Research.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I'm doing a Sci-Fi or SteamPunk, I do Invention and Science research.
-- It always pays to know what actually existed during a certain time period. Did you know that
the earliest computer was designed in 1837? It was called The Difference Engine and it ran
without electricity. It was gear-driven. Sadly, because of the expense to make it--each gear had
to be precision made--only a small model was built of it back then. A full-sized working Engine
was finally built in 1991; more than a little after it's time. Could you imagine how different the
world would have been if it had come into use back in the 1800's?
It also pays to know what current science says is possible in the future. Did you know that a form
of anti-gravity already exists? I normally find major inspiration during these research sessions.
If I'm doing a Paranormal or Fantasy story, I do Mythology, Magic and Paranormal research.
-- Since I've got quite a home library on these subjects, this is just a matter of pulling a book
from a shelf.
For those of you who don't have a ready personal library, there are a million and one sites all
over the 'net on ghosts, demons, angels, and just about every mythological creature out there.
There are almost as many sites on magic too: Wicca, Satanism, Shamanism, Shintoism,
Buddhism... You name it, it's out there only a Google search away.
And then...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After all that is done, I take one last look at my plot outline then set it aside and begin to write. In
the course of writing, some plot points will work and some won't. Some locations won't offer
quite the right atmosphere I intended for a scene. Sometimes a whole new character will step
onstage and become the Ally to the main character or the Villain INSTEAD of the one I mapped
out.
When that happens, I take a few moments to extrapolate how such changes will affect the story.
If the ending doesn't change--or a better one suddenly crops up, I go with it. I DON'T stick that
hard to the plot outline. I change as needed to make the STORY better--not my ego, or worse,
my Character's ego.
And...that's pretty much it.
Enjoy!
High-Speed STORIES
When you absolutely, positively, HAVE to get the story done.
The trick to speed-writing is to Plan the story out first, more commonly known as PLOTTING.
"Diabolic" was written in 30 days -- all 15 chapters at 2500 to 3000 words per chapter, adding
up to around 80k (thousand) words. A novel is 90k to 100k. I was able to do this because I
already knew my main characters really well, (Vincent and Sephiroth of Final Fantasy VII,) and
I knew where my story ENDED. Basically, once I knew where I wanted to go, all I had to do
was figure out how to get there.
Note: If you're interested, DIABOLIC can be found at Media Miner. The 'Search' feature is your
friend!
The plot outline I used only had 5 points:
1. Beginning - The Main Character gets involved with the Villain or Lover.
2. Complications - The situation worsens.
3. Emotional Turning Point - Panic Attack! Fear and/or Guilt vs. Desperation
4. Reversal - The worst possible thing that could happen -- happens.
5. Outcome - The absolute last thing the Main Character wants to do.
If you can fill in these five slots, you can write any story. Seriously.
Where did these five points come from? Basic Plotting. For those of you that have taken some
writing or literature classes, does this look more recognizable?
• Introduction
• Conflict
• Ordeal (Dark Moment)
• Climax
• Resolution
"Plot the story out…? But that's so … Uncreative!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EVERY story follows the same basic pattern, from Aristotle and Shakespeare to Underworld and
Constantine. It's up to the individual author to do something Creative within that pattern, up to
and including, going back and forth between points before progressing onto the next step.
Also, just because you've plotted your story out doesn't mean you have to do exactly as planned.
View it as a guide, a roadmap that tells you where you are verses where you want to be. There's
absolutely no reason why you can't take alternate routes. "I could take this left-hand turn in
Albuquerque…?"
However, if you don't know where you want end up, right from the beginning, you'll NEVER get
there.
High-Speed Plotting - The Magic Formula!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer these three questions FIRST!
• Who, What, and Where I am I? (Your Main Character)

• What I want?
• The worst thing that could happen to me?
(Borrowed from PaperbackWriter: http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/)
Okay, now that you know have some idea of where you're going, answer these questions to get
there.
1. Beginning
The Main Character gets involved with their Villain or Lover.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Hero meets Villain or Lover.
2. Complications
The situation worsens.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- How does this Villain or Lover cause difficulties in the Main Character's life?
-- What secrets are in danger of being revealed?
3. Emotional Turning Point
Panic Attack! Fear and/or Guilt vs. Desperation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- What Situation, Fear, or Emotional Burden/Guilt is keeping the Main Character from making a
decision about what they should do?
4. Reversal
The worst possible thing that could happen -- happens.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- What terrible thing suddenly happens or secret is revealed to make the situation even worse?
5. Outcome
The absolute last thing the Main Character wants to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- What conflicts must they overcome to make their goal happen?
-- What happens after?
Not a whole lot of details, are there? That's where you get to be Creative!
REMEMBER!
-- A Plot is just a MAP. You don't have to follow it exactly. Feel free to skip or change things as
you please. The idea behind Plotting is simply to give yourself a place to end up and an idea of
the direction you need to go in to get there.
Adventure Plot in a nutshell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He came.
He saw.
He conquered.
Erotic Plot in a Nutshell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He saw.
He conquered.
He came.
Simple, ne?
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you're on a time limit, plotting out the major turning points in your story is a far, far faster
method than simply waiting on the muse for inspiration.
Enjoy!
Is your Special Character

TOO SPECIAL?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you indulging in a few too many "special traits"? Is your story really an excuse to show off
your Super Special Character? Are you committing a MARY-SUE/GARY STUE?
--> Dead give-away: Your favorite character is YOU only BETTER!
Who is Mary Sue/Gary Stue?
According to SubReality.com:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mary Sue / Gary Stue is any original or deeply altered character who represents a slice of their
creator's own ego; they are treasured by their creator but only rarely by anyone else. A Mary
Sue/Gary Stue is a primadonna (usually, but not always badly-written,) who saps life and realism
out of every other character around, taking over the plot and bending canon to serve their selfish
purposes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- For more details:
http://www.subreality.com/marysue.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Mary Sue/Gary Stue "Self-Insertion" in Manga Fan-fiction:
According to Aestheticism.com:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Mary Sue <Gary Stue>, as someone said, is the highest form of fannish devotion to a
series. You like it so much you want to come play in it yourself. Most fan writers are content to
do this by sneaking in under cover of one of the canon characters.
Slipping on my Hakkai mask, I jump in the jeep and set out for the west with Sanzou and the
guyz, pretending all along that it's Hakkai telling the story I'm writing and not me at all.
Havers. *Of course* it's me and not Hakkai…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.aestheticism.com/visitors/editor/jeanne/shameless/index.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too many Special traits spoil the Character.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While not every "super-special!!!" character is actually a Mary-Sue/Gary Stue, they fall under
the same rules because when one makes a "larger than life" character, they tend to be unbalanced
and quite frankly, no fun to read. Think Superman without Kryptonite. When you have a
character that never loses, you might as well write:
• Hero meets bad-guy.

• They fight.
• Hero wins. The end.
Where's the fun in that? Where's the challenge? Where's the surprise? Where's the suffering?
This is also known as Godmoding.
According to Burning Dumpster:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Godmoding: "Take the Mary Poppins slogan "Practically Perfect in Every Way" and remove
the 'practically'. They're perfect little characters with no real flaws that can do whatever the hell
they like. No one can contradict them or oppose them because they're always right. In fan-fiction,
they're boring. In PBEM, they are a royal pain in the ass. Also known as an 'avatar'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.kalime.com/burn/index.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Think: How many 'special' traits does your pet character have? Let's find out!
• Take this test:

http://www.katfeete.net/writing/marysue.html
Despite all this, God-mode Mary Sue/Gary Stue characters AREN'T necessarily a bad thing. In
fact, Mary Sue/Gary Stue is an excellent way for a beginning writer to experiment with story-
telling. In fact, it's the most common way a writer begins writing anything at all.
Key word: Begin -- not End.
God-mode, Mary Sue/Gary Stue (especially under the thin veneer of a favorite Manga character)
only becomes a problem when one posts them on the Fan-Fiction sites where Readers can see
them and Flame them for being too unbelievably perfect to identify with and/or too Out of
Character (OOC).
So what do you do to keep your characters from falling into the black hole of Mary Sue/Gary
Stue-ism?
Exercise your experience - but don't fall in!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Story is nothing without good strong characters, but if you can't use yourself, how do you
write about the feelings of someone else? You Empathize -- you recall how you felt under
similar circumstances -- but you don't BECOME that character.
Examples…
The Lost Boys:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael is watching the girl of his dreams climb onto another guy's motorcycle. She doesn't look
happy about it, but she does it anyway.
The other guy, David turns to Michael and invites him to come along.
Michel's motorcycle is only a dirt bike. There's no way in hell his bike can surpass David's.
David smiles. "You don't have to beat me. You just have to keep up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is Michael feeling through all this?
The Matrix:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neo has just received a Fed Ex package with a cell phone in it. He's looking at it when it starts to
ring in his hand. He answers it.
"Neo, this is Morpheus. You have to get out of there. Now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is Neo feeling through all this?
Underworld:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael has had one hell of a day. There was a shooting at the train station, and crap at his
hospital job, and then when he goes home, he finds a really beautiful and incredibly strong girl
who immediately tries to strangle him in his apartment.
Moments later, he's running for his life from things galloping after him on the walls and ceiling.
He escapes into an elevator and the door closes. Then it opens.
A guy he's never seen before in his life smiles and says: "Hello Michael." Suddenly, bullets rip
into the guy right in front of him. The guy falls forward onto Michel and bites him.
Out of nowhere, the strong girl comes back and drags the weird guy off of him.
The weird guy bursts into laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is Michael feeling through all this?
Making the Characters work WITH the Plot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are roughly three essential characters in every story:
• A Protagonist with character traits designed to work AGAINST the plot.

• A sidekick to add complications and make matters worse.
• A Villain that the hero absolutely Cannot beat when the hero first enters the fray.
The hero and the villain should change and develop as the story progresses to allow the hero a
toe-hold chance, and no more, to win. The rest of the cast may or may not have personal growth,
but the hero and the villain must. This is where dramatic tension is generated.
Changing takes suffering. Both the hero and the villain should suffer emotionally and physically
to allow for their personal changes. Think about how hard it is for YOU to change your mind
about something important to you. That's the level of suffering you need.
If this seems a little formulaic, remember, it's not what you HAVE it's what you DO with it.
Let's look at two different movies:
The Matrix -- Urban Fantasy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neo is a quiet computer hacker. He deals in facts, not fantasy. He's not an action kind of guy, but
everyone thinks he's supposed to save the world. He thinks they're wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both Morpheus and Trinity believe in him, to the point that they keep risking their lives so he
has to keep saving them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Matrix is a sentient mega-verse. Mr. Smith is a replicating Virus. Both are bound and
determined to keep all of humanity deaf, dumb, and blind to what's being done to them.
The Lost Boys – Vampire

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael desperately wants to fit in with a motorcycle gang that rules the entire town because he
likes the girl that hangs with them. Michael does not believe in Vampires.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael has a nosy younger brother who is terrified of vampires.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael absolutely positively cannot defeat an entire gang of Vampires.
In Conclusion…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make your Characters part of your story, not the Excuse for your story. Give them pain, give
them heartache, and make them face their fears. Anything less cheats the reader out of some
good healthy angst!
Enjoy!
Writing Emotions VISUALLY
"What is ...VISUAL writing?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Visual writing is when the reader can SEE your story unfolding in their imaginations just like
a movie.
* Non-visual: It was a dreary day.

* Visual: Icy rain slithered down the window glass from an iron gray sky.
This is more commonly known as SHOWING vs. TELLING.
* Telling: It was a dreary day.

* Showing: Icy rain slithered down the window glass from an iron gray sky.
"What's wrong with just...Telling them?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The problem lays with Reader interpretation. Abstract (poetic) words and ideas rely on the
readers' interpretation of what those words mean to them personally.
For example:
She was woefully depressed.
Consider:
* How does Big Bird act when he's woefully depressed?
* How do YOU act when you're woefully depressed?
Is there a difference?
-- Well yeah, birds molt. They lose all their feathers when they're depressed. When you were
woefully depressed, did you lose all your feathers? (Do you have feathers?)
If your definitions of those feelings don't match with the reader's definitions -- you're screwed. In
other words, the moment you and the reader come to a strong enough 'difference of opinion',
they'll stop reading and put the book down, never to pick it up again. Do it too much and the
reader will stop reading ANYTHING by you.
Think I'm exaggerating?

-- Get on one of the book/author fan-lists and ASK. (I did.)
So, how do you SHOW emotions in writing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
According to Dianna Dorisi-Winget in "Let's Get Physical!": "... fiction writers must employ
description that accurately expresses a character's feelings."
She's not talking about flowery, sentimental, poetic words, AKA: purple prose, she means
describe the physical characteristics of the emotion you're trying to convey.
How does one DESCRIBE feelings and emotions?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emotions appear as Body Language. It's as simple as describing the character's body language in
addition to describing what they feel physically. Don't say: "she was sad," describe the way her
tears feel as they run down her cheeks, and the way her heart feels in her chest.
According to James Scott Bell in his article "Leave Them With Hope": "...the author must
experience the emotion and describe (the emotion felt) with the five senses, write it as he "feels"
it".
"The trick," Dorisi-Winget says, "is tapping into your 'emotion memory.' Get beyond the
pounding heart and clenched fist."
Emotion Memory is simply remembering how you felt when you were experiencing the emotion
your character is going through.
Let's go back to Depression...

-- Do you remember what you felt like physically when you were depressed? That's what you
write. Now consider what depression looks like... What did you do when you were depressed?
Hold that thought because THIS is where characterization gets tricky!
While depression pretty much feels the same for everyone, how people react to it is another
whole bowl of kimchee.
Depression affects different people very differently. Some get very quiet, some get violent and
hurt others, (picking fights,) some only hurt themselves, (cutting). Some eat a lot of food, some
stop eating altogether. Some throw loud temper tantrums, yelling at anything that gets too close,
and others refuse to say even one word.
How would YOUR character react? Describe the feelings AND the actions. Show them being
depressed in all their torrid glory.
Don't TELL it:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was woefully depressed.
SHOW it:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She leaned to one side against the wall with her shoulders slumped, staring at nothing at all. Her
eyes burned with tears that wouldn't fall. Every beat of her heart seemed to take more effort than
it was worth, but somehow, it just kept beating. She was long past pain and well into numb. If
only she could stay there, and never feel anything at all, ever again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Believe it or not, TELLING the reader what the character is feeling is not nearly as effective or
powerful as SHOWING them.
Exercise:
* Write a scene where you tell what the character is feeling and doing using as many flowery
words as you can.
* Write the same scene describing what the character is doing and feeling.
By the way, it's perfectly okay to use one or two flowery decorative words in addition to your
physical descriptions, and in Dialogue -- internally, or out loud. When used to flavor
descriptions, it gives what you are describing emotional impact. When used in Dialogue, it gives
your characters flavor.
* Hand both versions to your beta readers and see what they think.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following is for those looking to get published. If you're just writing for fun and not profit,
feel free to skip this part.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is this advice Cramping your LITERARY STYLE...?
"What about all those flowery literary phrases that everybody else uses?"
AKA: "But Anne Rice does it, why can't I?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who is everybody else? Are they alive and still publishing books, or dead?
Once upon a time, literary writing was how one got published, so naturally that's what they teach
in college. I got news for all you literary students going to class to become fiction authors:
Euphemistic and/or literary writing is all well and fine in Creative Writing and Fan-Fiction, but
that won't get you published any more.
Keep in mind, I'm talking BOOK publishers, not magazines or anthology publications that will
only pay you $100.00 flat fee and No Royalties. Hell, even the EBook publishers won't take
literary stuff. (They're all looking for Erotic Romance.)
Of course, there's always the 'self-publishing route...? (www.lulu.com) They could care less what
you write. They are making money off of YOU.
Outside of poetry, and high-brow literary journals, the only stuff in the Literary style being
bought by the general public -- and publishers today, are Classics. We're talking stuff that were
originally called Torrid Romances, (Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre...) Pulp Fiction, (Sherlock
Holmes, HG Wells' novels, Dickens' novels...) and Penny Dreadfuls (Dracula, Frankenstein,
Edgar Allen Poe's works...) Stuff that was published a hundred years ago or longer; stuff that
was NOT considered Literary in their day; stuff by authors that are currently DEAD.
"But! But! But what about the great literary authors still alive today...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
London Times
Publishers toss Booker winners into the Reject Pile
by Jonathan Calvert and Will Iredale
"...Typed manuscripts of the opening chapters of Naipaul's In a Free State and a second novel,
Holiday, by Stanley Middleton, were sent to 20 publishers and agents.
No one appears to have recognized them as Booker prizewinners from the 1970s that were
lauded as British novel writing at its best.
Of the 21 replies, all but one were rejections.
Only Barbara Levy, a London literary agent, expressed an interest, and that was for
Middleton's novel. She was unimpressed by Naipaul's book. She wrote: "We . . . thought it was
quite original. In the end though I'm afraid we just weren't quite enthusiastic enough to be able to
offer to take things further."
Read the rest of the story? --

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1965623,00.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I said before...
-- Outside of poetry, and high-brow literary journals, the only stuff in the Literary style being
bought by the general public and publishers TODAY (not 20 years ago), are Classics.
So, how come Anne Rice can get away with her florid and rather literary style of writing?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because she's ANNE RICE. Consider this, no matter what she writes, or how she writes it, she's
going to sell a million copies. NO ONE is going to argue with an author that can sell a million
copies with their name alone.
Is your name Anne Rice?
No? Then, you're just going to have to follow the publishing house rules just like the rest of us
not-quite-famous authors.
When you can sell a million copies on just your name alone, you'll be able to write any gosh
darned thing in any gosh darn way you care to because absolutely no one will argue with you.
Don't want an editor? No one will argue that either; just ask Steven King.
In short, if you want to be published in this day and age, forget the expensive literary writing
courses. Take a nice cheap class on commercial copywriting because that is the style of writing
publishers are looking for today.
"Copywriting...? Isn't that for Advertising...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- Yes it is. Think, what does Advertising do? It delivers its message with as much emotional
impact and persuasive power as it can jam into One Sentence or less:
"Got milk?"
"The incredible, edible, egg."
"The Quicker Picker-Upper."
Copywriting teaches you to deliver the Most amount of information in the Least amount of
words. Just think what that style of writing could do for your fiction! (It's done wonders for
mine.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parts unashamedly raped from:
Create Emotion, Not Sentimentality, in Fiction By Vivian Gilbert Zabel
http://ezinearticles.com/?Create-Emotion,-Not-Sentimentality,-in-Fiction&id=160141
Enjoy!
Story Writing for BEGINNERS
I want to write a story. I have a couple of ideas, but no idea what to do with them, or even how to
begin! Help?!
-- Newbie Writer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So when you wanna write a story, where do you begin? With your PASSION!
Write what you KNOW & LOVE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you KNOW, really? What do you love to Do, to Study, to Think About, to Talk
About...? Whether it's cave-diving, model trains, skate-boarding, sewing, horses, mythology,
ghost legends, or particle physics your passion is where you will find your most unique and
powerful work.
Make a list of all the things you know well and all the things you've done -- seriously!
Mythology, history, any retail jobs you might have had -- anything you might have seen, done, or
studied.
Sticking with your passions and your personal experiences also helps you make fewer
MISTAKES.
Case in point, someone who has never kissed isn't going to be able to write a kissing scene as
well as someone who Has. Worst of all, someone with experience will know IMMEDIATELY
when the writer doesn't know what they're talking about. Once that happens, they're closing your
story -- never to look at it again.
If you insist on writing about something outside of your personal experience, do your
RESEARCH thoroughly. Google.com & Wikipedia.com are your friends!
Next?
KNOW your Characters and the World they live in THOROUGHLY

~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you're writing fan-fiction, RESEARCH is your friend!
www.Google.com can be extremely helpful, but www.Wikipedia.com can be your best bet. Wiki
has a listing for just about every manga, game, and anime you can think of complete with
character lists and bios. If you need a map, that's where Google comes in. More often than not,
you can find one of your particular world on somebody's website somewhere.
If you're writing an Original story, you have a LOT more work to do.
Character Creation 101

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The easiest way to make an original character is by modeling your character on one you already
know.
Out of all the movies you have seen, what fictional character is most like what you need for your
story? You want a movie or animated character because you need to PICTURE your character as
they move through your stories. This is ESSENTIAL for Active Writing.
Favorite characters I like to use:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Trinity from the Matrix
- Keiffer Sutherland from the Lost Boys & 24
- Robert Carlyle from Ravenous and Plunkett & McLean
- Wolverine from the X-Men
- Sandra Bullock from Miss Congeniality and Speed
- Johnnie Depp from Sleepy Hollow and Sweeny Todd
- Selene from Underworld
- Riddick from Pitch Black
The trick is to change their names and appearance enough to disguise them while leaving their
base character traits -- and dialogue style -- intact!
"Wait! Isn't using someone else's characters' Plagiarism?"

-- Only if the character still has the Same Name and the Same Physical Description. Change
those and it's not. Think! If no one ever borrowed characters, there'd only be ONE vampire novel
in existence--and it wouldn't be "Dracula".
You should have THREE Main Characters to tell a whole story:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proponent: The one trying to Keep things the way they are.
Antagonist: The one trying to Change things from the way they are.
Ally (buddy or lover): The one caught in the Middle, and usually telling the story.
"But what if I only want to use two characters?"
Then use only Two:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proponent: The one trying to Keep things the way they are.
Antagonist: The one trying to Change things from the way they are.
However, using only Two main characters will make it harder to tell the whole thing. Don't be
surprised if a Third character sneaks their way in to help you!
WORLD BUILDING 101

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay now that you have your Characters, you need to make a world to put them in.
The easiest place to put your characters is a place you already know. For all other places, there's
RESEARCH. Google.com is invaluable for finding pictures of places you've never been and
journals posted by people living there. Find them and READ them.
If you're building a fantasy world, a historical world, or a sci-fi world for your first story,
CHEATING is your best option.
There are a million and one Gaming Books and Gaming Sites featuring all kinds of historical,
fantastical, and scientific data it would take you YEARS to uncover. Just make sure you separate
Fact from Fiction! And for God's sake, CHANGE what you Can! You don't need people
screaming at you for copyright violation.
If you're determined to build your world from scratch, then here is the absolute best guide on
world building there is:
Patricia C. Wrede's Worldbuilder Questions

http://www.larseighner.com/world_builder/index.html
Making your story HAPPEN!

PLOTTING 101
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rather than make this complicated, let's go the simple route. Once you have all three (or two)
characters, ask each one these Three Questions:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Who am I and what do I do?
• What do I want?
• What is the worst thing that could happen to me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Borrowed from PaperbackWriter: http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/)
Once you know the answers to all of these questions, you pretty much have your whole story.
• "Who am I and what do I do?" is your introduction.

• "What do I want?" is what puts your characters in opposition. Your hero has a Goal. Your
Villain doesn't want them to have it because it gets in the way of their Goal.
• Your main character's 'Worst Thing' is the REVERSAL to your story dead center in the Middle.
• The Villain's 'Worst Thing' is the main CLIMAX close to the end. It's the turning point that
allows your Main Character to win. The End.
Simple, ne?
So where do you begin Writing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOT at the beginning!
Open the story within one page of Hero meets Villain, (or Lover meets Beloved) with the story
already in progress. Action scenes and snappy dialogue are the best hooks for snaring your
reader, but hints of Mysterious things yet to happen works well too. I also set the stage for the
story about to begin with a few lines of Description so that the reader can SEE everything as it
happens.
The trick to not boring them is: Don't Tell them ANYTHING!
Give broad hints, but don't Info-dump. Use Dialogue to hint at clues to the secondary character's
back-story. This way you make the reader an eavesdropper who MUST read on to find out,
"What the heck is going on?"
The easiest way to keep your reader from figuring out what's going on -- and how your story will
end -- is by telling the whole story from One POV (point of view.) MAKE the reader discover
from INSIDE your main character why this vampire hunted this particular guy down, and why he
isn't running in screaming terror. MAKE your readers put two and two together and try to come
up with the right answer.
Tricks to keeping your story SHORT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep the number of characters to a Minimum!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The larger the cast -- the longer the story.
This is because each and every character you use must have their story problem FIXED by the
end of the story. If you don't, you create a PLOT HOLE that your readers WILL notice, and call
you on.
Keep the Point of your story firmly in mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What are you trying to Show with your story?
Love Conquers All

Greed makes one Greedier
Love = Insanity
Love doesn't always mean Happiness
Love isn't always Nice
You Reap what you Sow
Destiny is a B!tch
You can't escape Yourself
A Snake will always be a Snake
Sometimes, Love means Letting Go
Sometimes, Love means Giving In
Appetites will find a way to be Filled
Revenge only brings Misery
In short, know what you want to say and how you intend to END the story before you begin!
Only put in what you intend to USE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it doesn't affect the Plot, the Characters or the Point of your story, you don't need it.
This includes Description.
In a short story, everything is pared down to the minimum, so you only need to describe the
characters your character directly interacts with, and their immediate surroundings, no more, but
no less either. You want to make sure that your Reader can SEE what's happening, but you don't
need to go into detail about every babbling brook and tree.
Once you've finished your story, Read it OUT LOUD to yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This will allow you to catch most of your mistakes before anyone else sees them.
• If you have to stop to take a breath before you finish a sentence -- the sentence is Too Long.
• If you have to read a line twice to figure out what you just said, so will your Readers. Any time
you have to reread anything, something is WRONG.
• If you find your attention drifting from the story you are reading out loud -- so will your
Readers.
• If you find yourself skipping parts to get to better parts -- so will your readers.
• If YOU don't find what you're reading interesting enough to keep reading, neither will your
Readers.
In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Writing a story isn't all that hard or even complicated. It's what you put into your story that
makes it complicated -- and uniquely yours.
Enjoy!
Defining FEMALE Behavior ~ for your Fiction

What makes Women do the things they do?
By OokamiKasumi & SumiHatake (Kiterie) & Lithium-Delusions (Kita the Spaz)
Warning! Naruto series SPOILERS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...I never feel comfortable writing for female characters and they tend to always come out
cutesy or bitchy if I try giving them personality. ... Somehow, the moment I think 'female' I screw
up. ... my stereotypes end up negative and females in general alien. Just reading the differences
doesn't seem to form the right image in my head. There's sort of a hole when I try thinking. ... Is
there anything you can recommend that could help me out of my box?"
-- Frustrated Guy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Defining female behavior...
Oh boy, that's actually a VERY tall order.

-- Just so you know, it took reading a LOT of human behavior books to break through the
mystery of my own gender. (And I still had to go to two of my friends to help me with this!)
Disclaimer: Just for the record, this is meant to be a Broad Generalization! This is NOT meant
to be taken as the be-all-end-all on female behavior. This is merely what "I, SumiHatake, and
Kita (Aleene)" have observed and come up with. In short, this is just OUR OPINION. Okay?
What makes Women do the things they do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First thing you need to know is that 90% of most human behavior Male & Female is LEARNED
by copying those around us - AKA: Social Conditioning. What is approved of, we do more.
What is not approved of, we do less. Normally anyway.
When NOTHING gains approval, (as in my case,) people tend to either go Passive-Aggressive
(determined to be Good or the Best at something to gain that approval,) or Wholly Aggressive.
("Screw you guys! If I can't make you happy, I'll just make myself happy.")
The Passive-Aggressive behavior pattern in females tends to result in either the dolled-up Bitch-
Queen who will PROVE that she's better than anyone else at something (even if it's only their
grades or their fashion-sense), or the Ultimate Door-Mat who will do ANYTHING to make those
around her like her.
Wholly aggressive behavior results in people like me who could care less if anyone approves or
not -- and are completely flabbergasted when we get approval for anything at all, such as our
stories. *wink*
Of course, there are varying degrees in between. This means that one can have Passive-
Aggressive traits under some circumstances and Wholly Aggressive traits under others. NO ONE
is completely consistent -- male or female. People are funny that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my experience, there's a third kind: the woman who will emphasize her victimhood and use it
as an emotional cudgel on any and everyone around her. She'll race to the bottom of the social
food chain and portray herself as the most needy, the most worthy of help and most protected
from criticism. Like a little sister who picks fights and runs crying to daddy, by pretending to be
the perpetual victim she asserts her dominance over the environment.
I dated one of these once and found that while she portrayed herself as the latter (doormat), in
reality she was the former, playing the 'helpless female' card from the bottom of the deck to
achieve her goals. She would set up situations asserting her strength and then complain about
not being sheltered.
The typical pattern was:
Friday night, to me - "You don't have to open the door for me."
Monday morning, to her girlfriends - "He wouldn't open the door for me!"
But, as you suggest (or I at least infer), different traits mix and match according to the situation
at hand.
-- Another Frustrated Guy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXAMPLES:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Passive Aggressive Feminist (PAF)
"You will acknowledge me."
~ Sakura of Naruto
~ Rukia of Bleach
~ Tifa of Final Fantasy VII
Submissive Social Butterfly (SSB)

"Acknowledge me, please?"
~ Hinata of Naruto
~ Orihime Inoue of Bleach
~ Aerith of Final Fantasy VII/Kingdom Hearts
Wholly Aggressive Tomboy (WAT)

"I don't care if you acknowledge me."
~ Tamari of Naruto
~ Soi Fon of Bleach
~ Yuffie of Final Fantasy VII
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Examples of common Reactions:
Man opening a door for her...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PAF = A scowl and a snarky remark about his masculinity apparently being threatened by her
(even if she likes him.)
SSB = A blush and a thank you -- while internally thinking "YEA! He noticed me!
WAT = A rush to open the door first, then hold it for him to let himself in -- while internally
congratulating herself on successfully avoiding being treated like a common female.
Woman of equal rank in social standing remarking on her clothes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PAF = A slightly snide or haughty smile, plus a backhanded remark about how she looks nice
too -- while internally calculating the amount of social status she has gained or lost by what she
wore and what appropriate action is required (generally better clothes either way.)
SSB = A blush and a thank you, plus a compliment telling the woman how wonderful she looks
(even if she doesn't) -- while internally congratulating herself on meeting the social
requirements.
WAT = A look of blank astonishment then a hesitant smile, and a stammered out thank you --
while internally wondering why the other female even noticed her existence.
Keep in mind that there are many, many, more permutations of female behavior. These are
merely 3 of the most recognizable.
The Social Factor

~ By Lithium-Delusions (Kita the Spaz)~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women, I've observed, are social creatures (most of us, that is). They desire the feel of people
around them, paying attention (homage) to them. Women want to be noticed and
appreciated. Because of this, Social Status ... power and the like, is a strong motivating desire.
The younger a woman is, the more she desires <social connections>. Consider the cliques in high
school ... a female's social standing was determined by which clique they belonged to. That
behavior tends to carry on in her latter years -- the woman who absolutely must have her little
social lunches with her friends, or host little parties for her friends = "Look how successful and
pretty I am." They can pretend otherwise, but in the darkest corners of their hearts, that's what it
really comes down to.
Sort of like the pack struggles between the alpha female and the lesser females. The "bitch" has
to be the center of attention, the center of power. Without it, she feels inadequate and second-
best. Like a banished pack female, she will lurk around the edges and do her best to worm her
way back into a position of power.
The desire for acceptance and acknowledgment drives a lot of people. However, women are far
more prey to it than men, because (due to our gender) we tend to be the ignored ones. Men are
used to being the ones in the limelight and come to expect it as their due, while the female
gender has to struggle for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the outside, this need for gathering into social groups and the accompanying drive for social
status may seem silly. However, the instinct behind it is far more grim.
The female need to gather in social groups goes all the way back to the Ice Age when women
lived in close-knit communities. They gathered together often under the same roof for mutual
help and protection while the men were gone for months at a time either out hunting, or to make
war on another tribe. Social status decided how much food a female would be allotted for herself
and her children.
In short, the key to defining the core of female behavior is purely BIOLOGICAL.
Females are hard-wired to think SURVIVAL & Babies.
Sorry to go all cave-man (cave-woman?) on you, but honest to God, this is the root of all female
behavior.
Why Survival & Babies...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex = Pregnancy and Pregnancy KILLS -- unless certain conditions are met: Food, Shelter, and
Protection.
Let's begin here...
Sex = Pregnancy = Potential DEATH

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman that is pregnant isn't physically capable of defending herself against an attacker. That's
as true now as it was 50 years ago. However, less than 50 years ago it just wasn't possible for a
pregnant woman alone to do all the hard labor it took to provide a roof over her head AND food.
Add a newborn to the mix, and you have a woman even less capable of defending herself or
doing the hard labor it took to provide food. Starvation for both mother and child was a very real
threat. A pregnant woman and/or new mother NEEDED a partner to help her or she DIED -- that
is IF she survived the birth. Many didn't.
(Yes, yes, currently there are hospitals to help with the birth survival rate and Social Services
that pick up the food and shelter slack, but Social Services has only been in existence since the
1960's!)
"But Sex doesn't = Pregnancy now a days!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes it does -- for anyone Not using Birth Control, such as the average teen who's mom won't let
them have it thinking that it will only encourage them to have sex. I got news for those moms;
NOT having birth control NEVER stopped anyone from screwing!
On top of that, socially acceptable Birth Control is NEW -- less than 50 years old. However, the
female instinct for survival goes back to before the Ice Age.
-- Guess which one the female subconscious reacts to?
You have to remember that while birth control (the condom) existed in the 1700's, it was only
used by MEN. The use of birth control (the condom) by WOMEN only gained social approval in
the 1940's -- and that was limited to UNMARRIED women. Married women who didn't want to
get pregnant and have babies were considered ABNORMAL and treated as social outcasts.
In fact only ten years earlier in the 1930's, ANY woman who dared to use Birth Control was
considered immoral because they were clearly after the pleasure of sex. Back then, only MEN
were allowed to enjoy sex. Women were allowed to like Babies -- not Sex. Women who enjoyed
sex all by itself were SLUTS.
The pill was only available to the VERY rich until the 50's -- when the laws changed allowing
prescription birth control. In the 1960's we had the sexual revolution where many women
decided that liking sex didn't make them sluts. Unfortunately, this wasn't as widespread as one
could hope. Plenty of people (especially from the older generation) still think that enjoying Sex
makes one a SLUT.
In short, it wasn't until the 1940's that women could choose Not to get pregnant (via the
condom,) but it wasn't until the 1960's that it was OKAY to choose Not to get pregnant -- and
some churches STILL don't approve of birth control today! *cough*CATHOLICS*cough*
In addition...!
-- Women STILL die from birth complications today.
What does any of this have to do with Survival and Babies?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The idea that one Didn't have to get pregnant when one had sex is NEW so the idea of Sex =
Babies is still very much on the average modern-day female mind. Add to that, that pregnancy
can bring DEATH, never mind all the deadly diseases that sex alone can bring, and you get: Sex
triggering the SURVIVAL INSTINCT.
The female survival instinct is hardwired to think:

• Sex = Food, Shelter, and Protection.
Less than 50 years ago, this translated to: SPOUSE
In this day and age, this translates to:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Food & Shelter = MONEY > Good paying job
• Protection = HEALTH > Martial Arts or Athletics / Sports
• Sex = Live-in Partner with a Good paying job to pick up the slack
Many females still prefer to take the shortcut:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Food, Shelter, and Protection = Rich Spouse.
What does any of this have to do with MODERN Female Behavior?
Consider this...
To gain a Job (food & shelter) one must look and act like someone that others want to hire. This
includes the correct level of education, a wardrobe equal to or better than the people they intend
to blend in with, and the correct level of socially acceptable behavior: friendly, kind, generous,
and Perky.
To gain a Sex one must look and act Sexually Attractive to the type of Sexual Partner they wish
to have. This includes the correct level of education, the correct Social Contacts, a wardrobe
equal to or better than the spouse they wish to attract, and the correct level of Gender Acceptable
behavior: warm, friendly, kind, generous, SEXY and Forgiving.
Are you getting the picture here?

-- Let me give you a better clue: The average YUPPIE.
Yes, this behavior pattern is extremely limited and very, very unrealistic, yet far too many
women try to do this anyway and go into deep depression when they realize that it's just Not
Possible to be that way 24/7.
Most females snap out of this when they hit 40 because their estrogen level begins to drop. Just
so you know, estrogen is the chemical that forces us females put up with an amazing amount of
crap because it's an Aggression Inhibitor. Once that chemical drops low enough, (menopause)
the patience we had for crap goes with it.
This onset of aggression and loss of patience, is actually part of the female biological hard-
wiring = Menopause > No longer able to make babies > No more need for a partner to protect
said babies > No need to waste money & resources to feed & shelter said partner > Chase ex-
partner out of the house.
So, how do you USE all this in Writing?
Now that you know that basic drive of EVERY Female is: Sex = Food, Shelter, and Protection,
all you have to do is find a way for your female character to Interpret how she intends to handle
those things.
Examples...
A thief (or ninja):

~~~~~~~~~~~
• Food & Shelter = Money & concealed home/base
• Protection = Karate & Weapons
• Sex = Birth Control and a lover that can't threaten my income or my body.
A Princess:
~~~~~~~~~~~
• Food & Shelter = A castle and the surrounding farms.
• Protection = An army.
• Sex = A prince that can provide all of the above and/or help me protect my assets.
A modern socialite
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Food & Shelter = A high-paying job & a nice condo
• Protection = A gun and/or karate and/or athletic skills. (LOTS of yuppies jog daily.)
• Sex = The best looking someone I can find that will make me look good (in case I find
someone better,) make me feel good about myself, and has a good job to pick up the monetary
slack.
Can you see the pattern now?
THEN there are people like me determined to do the whole thing myself and NOT have kids
eating into my finances.
My pattern looks like this:
~~~~~~~~~~~
• Food & Shelter = A job I don't have to leave home to accomplish.
• Protection = Martial arts & weapons
• Sex = Birth Control and a lover that leaves after I'm done with him. (Yes, I really am that cold.)
The Character Emotional Scale

Where is YOUR Character?
~ By SumiHatake (Kiterie) ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Character + Event = Reaction
Reaction Scale:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
01: Submissive Social Butterfly (SSB): Compliant and Sweet (Doormat)
05: Archetypical Female (AF): Independent but Compassionate
10: Passive Aggressive Feminist (PAF): Egotistical and Manipulative (Cold Bitch)
VERY few women are a solid 1 or a solid 10. The key is deciding where your female character is
on the scale. Take what you KNOW for a fact about the character, and decide the point on the
scale that they belong. Once you know where they are on the scale you'll have a much better idea
of what their reaction would be.
Character + Event = Reaction

Tsunade + death of Jiraiya (the frog returns and tells her of his death.)
The Character Emotional Scale:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) SSB Reaction: Devastated (inside and out).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breaks down in tears and starts bawling about how she should have told him how she felt.
Possibly considers her life to be over now that he is gone.
An SSB character would be reliant on others to help her through the pain of losing somebody.
Her reliance on others and often a feeling of unworthiness at their assistance is usually what
drives them. They feel unworthy and so as a way of being less of a drain on the people helping
them, they would eventually move on or commit suicide.
5) AF Reaction: Emotional wreck (inside and out), but functional.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is unsure of what she should do, can function with support, does not contemplate suicide.
10) PAF reaction: Doesn't care (inside and out).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frowns and berates Jiraiya for being an idiot for getting himself killed. Doesn't see things as
having changed much for herself. He was just some guy.
An important thing to remember in this step is the character's relationship to the other
character(s) and the event.
I would rate Tsunade about a 7.

-- The reason being that she loved her fiancé and does cry over his death. She isn't cold. Plus she
gets along really well with Jiraiya. A 10 on the scale would mean that she hated him -- for
writing degrading porn about women'. At the same time she's known for her violence, she does
make snide remarks about Jiraiya's books, and she's quite vain about her looks.
I can see her falling apart privately but refusing to let it show in front of anyone except her
closest friends. We know she fell apart when Dan died but it was in front of her team and she
wasn't Hokage. She is now, so even fewer people would get to see that. In her case I would say
she probably broke down in front of the frogs, possibly Shizune, (debatable here since she is
Shizune's teacher and showing weakness in front of a subordinate would be weak and she may
just hold it in,) possibly Kakashi or Iruka who appear to be close to Jiraiya. More than likely I
see her going off by herself to either some place that reminds her of him, or simply where
nobody will find her and crying while getting drunker than a skunk.
In front of others, only the smallest amount of emotion would show and only if they're looking.
She is very strong emotionally. She would push aside personal pain to function and get things
done because she HAS to. It's a matter of pride for her. That's key to how she thinks. She feels as
though she can't fall apart because if she does, everyone will believe that she is incapable and
things will get worse. She can't allow that, she can't be weak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Conclusion...
-- EVERYTHING a female does is instinctively for Food, Shelter, and Protection -- even if their
socialization (the way the society around them TELLS them to behave,) makes them act in ways
that DOESN'T add up to any of the above.
It all depends on what the female in question Decides she needs to do to Survive.
Yaoi Writers: MASCULINE?

by *OokamiKasumi
Yaoi Writers:
Are Your Male Characters MASCULINE?
Is your favorite Yaoi character YOU as a guy -- only BETTER?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you committing a MARY-SUE/Gary Stu?
According to Aestheticism.com:
"The Mary Sue ... is the highest form of fannish devotion to a series. You like it so much you want
to come play in it yourself. Most fan writers are content to do this by sneaking in under cover of
one of the canon characters.
Slipping on my Hakkai mask, I jump in the jeep and set out for the west with Sanzou and the
guyz, pretending all along that it's Hakkai telling the story I'm writing and not me at all..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Except for one BIG problem...

-- Hakkai shows Female Behavior -- not Male.
A common error that every beginning Female writer makes is that they assume that their male
character will feel and react in the same way they would. They show them talking, thinking and
behaving not as guys, but as they would react if facing the same situation -- as females.
Unfortunately, while the female writer may miss this, their Readers WON'T -- especially if those
readers are Guys.
When a female writer's male characters think, act, and talk in a feminine way, her audience will
get annoyed - even if they don't understand why. The same is true if a male writer's female
characters don't think or act or talk like real women. (And I know you've all seen examples of
that!)
So how do you keep this from happening to Your characters?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Check-List:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A convincing masculine character WILL:

Be direct
Be issue-oriented
Be analytical
Act casual even in serious discussions
Interrupt
Make statements
Use short sentences
State his preferences clearly
Talk about concrete issues
Verbalize only things that he sees as important
Give advice
Ask specific questions
Choose to sit at angles from the person he's talking to
A convincing masculine character will NOT:
Ask lots of questions

Ask leading questions
Turn statements into questions
Invite a "just talk" situation
Speak in euphemisms
Use understatement
Downplay his ideas
Let his sentences trail off
Make agreeing noises
Volunteer his reasons
Hold eye contact for significant periods
Say "I'm sorry" unless he really means it
Tell stories about his failings
Use personal anecdote to make a point, especially in a professional setting
Get bogged down in introspection or self-doubt
Ask for help, especially with emotional issues
Volunteer information about his feelings
Ask about others' feelings
Ask for validation
Now that you have your answers, here are the reasons behind them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The REAL differences between Males & Females:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men see life in competitive terms.

Women see it in cooperative terms.
-- Men see compliance (going along with what someone else wants) as submission; women see
compliance (going along with what someone else wants) as cooperation.
Men focus on action.
Women focus on emotion.
-- Men don't like to 'just talk.' They see conversation as a way to relay information, to show
independence, and to illustrate status. Their conversations tend to be brief, episodic, and focused
on concrete issues and events.
Men make decisions.

Women form a consensus.
-- Men state what they want; women make their preferences known and often add reasons for
their requests in an attempt to convince the other party. Men don't volunteer reasons, and when
asked for reasons, they often feel they're being challenged or checked up on. They feel as if the
other party doesn't trust them.
Men try to solve problems.

Women talk about problems.
-- Women listen to other people in order to give support. Men listen to other people in order to
give advice.
Men are direct.

Women are indirect.
-- Men tend to make statements; women make suggestions. Women use understatement and
speak in euphemisms; men are blunt.
Men's actions and body language often do NOT reflect their feelings.
Women's usually do.
-- Men are direct when talking about concrete things, but indirect in talking about emotional
issues. This is because being affected by one's emotions is not considered masculine. When
forced to discuss emotions, men may attempt to distance themselves by avoiding eye contact,
slouching, or turning away.
Men see themselves as protectors of women, and Women as protectors of children.

-- When a man is protective toward a woman, it is to show that he feels responsible for her
safety; he's taking care of her. When a woman is protective toward a man, it is to show that she
cares about him. Unfortunately, he's likely to interpret a protective act as condescending, as
though he's a child.
Women see eye contact as concern.

Men see eye contact as challenge.
-- Women sit closer and look at people directly while talking to them, especially about serious
subjects. Men sit at angles to each other and look at other things, almost never directly into each
other's faces.
Men interrupt.
Women wait their turn.
-- Men interrupt in order to change the subject or to express their opinion; women interrupt with
supporting noises or to avert conflict.
Men ask questions to get information.

Women ask questions to further the conversation.
-- Men see talk as information; women see talk as interaction. Women are more likely to make a
telephone call just to talk; men make a telephone call to accomplish a specific purpose.
Women make agreeing noises when they're listening.

Men listen in silence.
-- "I know", "I understand", "Really?", "Yes,", "Uh-huh" are all feminine mannerisms. Women
nod and smile and make agreeing noises to show that they're listening and to invite further
conversation, not necessarily to indicate agreement. Men don't nod or smile or make agreeing
noises unless they actually agree.
Men avoid discussion of emotional information.

Women invite it.
-- Women express emotion relatively easily, even in public - - except for anger, which they tend
to repress at all times. Men generally do not express any emotion other than anger in public.
----- Original Message -----

"Men have no less need to deal with emotions just because they're not allowed to admit they
exist, and so men have interactions that are ostensibly about something else but really about
that. A casual observer won't notice, and even an insightful observer would not notice because
that singular interaction/conversation ... will appear as one of the other allowed competitive
(safe) interactions. But viewed in the wider context of how those two men interact previously and
after ... the interaction will seem off-topic, unusual, almost as if one (or both) men isn't the same
person as in the other encounters."
-- Literary Guy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women figure out how they feel - by talking about it.

Men figure out how they feel - by thinking about it.
-- Women are more likely to sit down and think through the whole history of a problem. Men are
more action oriented, thinking what he's going to do about the problem.
Women say "I'm sorry."

Men say "I apologize."
-- "I'm sorry" implies taking responsibility, while "I apologize" indicates regret that there's a
problem without necessarily accepting responsibility for causing it.
Men are more approving of their self image.

Women are more critical.
-- Men tend to boast publicly; women to boast privately, if at all. Women tell stories about their
failures; men tell stories that make them look good.
Women are more specific with information.

Men generalize.
-- She'll tell you a dress is robin's egg or teal or aqua or periwinkle. He'll say it's blue.
Women are most comfortable talking when they feel safe and close.
Men are most comfortable talking when they need to establish and maintain status.
-- She tells him everything. He tells her what is important to him.
Men are more able to compartmentalize and separate issues.

Women are more likely to let feelings in one area spill over into another area.
-- A man can go from angry to amorous much faster and more believably than a woman. An
argument or a bad day will be more difficult for a woman to set aside when getting into bed.
Women share secrets to build rapport.

Men hide secrets to maintain status.
-- Women see talking to outsiders about their relationships as part of friendship. Men see talking
to outsiders about their relationships as disloyalty.
Men see challenge as constructive.

Women see challenge as destructive.
-- Women see disagreement as threatening; men do not. Women find raised voices and
arguments upsetting; men see the ability to fight as a sign of intimacy, because only those who
are intimately involved with each other argue.
Men react to the message.

Women interpret the meaning.
-- Both men and women have a tendency not to answer the question that was actually asked, but
they have different justifications for doing so. Men see it as a protective measure to get to the
real point of the question. Women intend it as a helpful and caring measure to get to the real
point of his question.
In Conclusion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before anyone starts screaming, this is merely a list of Traits for the Adult Male ARCHETYPE.
NO man acts 100% this way. Teen-aged boys in particular are considerably more emotional --
until they learn to control it. (I've actually seen my 17 year old brothers cry or throw full
screaming-kicking tantrums just to get their way!)
Consider this a basic model to build upon. What you add to that base -- motives, dreams, fears,
likes and dislikes -- is what will make your characters unique.
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REFERENCES:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" - by John Gray, Ph.D
"Straight Talk to Men and Their Wives" - James Dobson
"Men, Women and Sex" - Margaret Paul, Ph.D
"Yes, Biologically Speaking, Sex Does Matter" - Karen Young Kreeger
"Gender Differences Are Real" - Frank York

How To Write Stories

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How to Write Stories

How to use this List.

Body language cue:

The NONVERBAL THESAURUS

KEY: The gesture; the meaning behind the gesture.

(Note the considerable overlap between expressions of submission and fear.)

The Business Suit

Summary of common Facial Cues.

Looking for more of my Writing Tips & Tricks?

The 7 Stages of Grief:

In short, in a battle between Maturity & Immaturity, Maturity always wins.

What causes ANGST?

Everyone deals with one form of angst or another on a daily basis.

The Dead Battery

1. SHOCK & DENIAL:

2. PAIN & GUILT:

3. ANGER & BARGAINING:

4. DESPAIR & REFLECTION:

5. PRECIPICE & CHOICE:

6. RECONSTRUCTION & ADJUSTMENT:

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE:

STORY Stages of the Character Arc

1. Shock & Denial – "This can't be happening to me!"

2. Pain & Guilt – "If only I hadn't..."

3. Anger & Bargaining – "Screw You!"

5. Precipice & Choice – "Give up or go down fighting?"

6. Reconstruction & Adjustment – "Okay, so here's the plan..."

"Must I use Grief?"

Pain & Guilt – Self-reproach

Anger & Bargaining - Annoyance

Despair & Reflection - Exasperation

Precipice & Choice - Aggravation

Reconstruction & Adjustment – Accommodation

Acceptance & Hope - Relief

"Do these stages go in EXACTLY this order?"

"Where the heck did you find these Stages?"

"Are there Other maps for Character Arcs?"

After all, it's YOUR story.

Looking for more of my Writing Tips & Tricks?

* In a Horror, this is when the originating Bad Thing happens.

• The results of Revenge

* Were the guilty punished?

The easiest way to do this is by keeping your Main cast SMALL.

Where's the ANGST?

Answer these two questions:

The Rule of Erotic Fiction:

This includes Emotional Conflict.

The Rule of CHARACTER DRIVEN Fiction:

Making ANGST Happen:

What causes ANGST?

Example: The Dead Battery

DESPAIR - "It won't start. I give up. What's the use?"

USING the Stages of Grief for the Character Arc

Stage One: Denial

Character Arc + Plot Arc

Consider the following diagram a Cheat Sheet!

The Plot Arc & the Character Arc

The Hero & Heroine's (Semi/Uke) Mirrored Issue:

What the heck are Commas for, anyway?

2. Commas separate two independent clauses connected by a coordinating conjunction

3. Commas set off introductory clauses and phrases.

a) The restrictive (essential) clause: