The Third Parent

A close friend of mine went overseas to study Islam, and before he left he visited a family he
knew. He said that as he left, he noticed the son – who was seven years old at the time–
slacked out on his stomach, chin locked in his two hands, staring deathly at the TV.When he
returned after four full years, he visited the same family and found the same boy slacked
out on his stomach, chin locked in his two hands, staring deathly at the TV - only now he was
four years older.

This article looks at the dark side of television. It is not intended to make you throw your
television set off the balcony – although that would be nice. It is hoped that this khutbah will give
you a better understanding of the destructive nature TV has on a person’s life, in this world and
in the hereafter, not only on his own life, but also the lives of his family members.

In Qawaa’id Fiqhiyyaah there is a principle which states, "Al Waasaa’il ta’khudhu Hukm
al-Ghaayaat," meaning, "The means
takes the same ruling as the intention of what is trying to be attained."
A television set, with its wires, screen, box, and plug is nothing more than a means. It is what is
trying to be attained by that box that makes it haram or halaal. Another example is that of a gun;
it can be used for noble purposes, such as defending one’s land from aggression, or it can
serve as a means of considerable harm, especially when given to a child.

In an Arab ESL class, the teacher, in his opening lesson asked the students what English
 words were taken from the Arabic language. A few hands went up and students said things
like, "Chemistry from keemiyaa," "Algebra from al-gebr," "Physics from feesiyaa," etc. Then he
asked them what Arabic words were taken from the English language and answers came
quickly. "Raad
iyo from radio, "
"Dosh from satellite dish, "
and of course
"Tilfaaz from television."

What did the West take from us, and what did we take from them?

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With regards to television, Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Al-Fataawa
[3/227]:

"…it is a dangerous device and its harmful effects are very great, like those of the cinema, or
even worse. We know from the research that has been written about it and from the words of
experts in Arab countries and elsewhere that it is dangerous and very harmful to Islamic beliefs
(aqeedah), morals and the state of society. This is because it includes the presentation of bad
morals, tempting scenes, immoral pictures, semi-nakedness, destructive speech and kufr. It
encourages imitation of their conduct and ways of dressing, respect for their leaders, neglect of
Islamic conduct and ways of dressing, and looking down on the scholars and heroes of Islam by
portraying them in an off-putting manner that makes people despise them and ignore them. It
shows people how to cheat, steal, hatch plots and commit acts of violence against others."

He continued, "Without doubt, anything that produces so many bad results should be stopped
and shunned, and we have to close all the doors that could lead to it. If some of our brothers
denounce it and speak out against it, we cannot blame them, because this is a part of sincerity
towards Allah and towards other people."

In Sahih Al-Bukhari, when Guraayj was praying and his mother called him, he said to himself, "
O Allah, my salah or my mother?"
"May you see a prostitute!"
She did not say,
"May there be a relationship between you and a prostitute."

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She just said,

"May you see (one)."
And her curse is one that we may inadvertently be inflicting on our children the day we
sanctioned the introduction of the third parent called TV. How many times has the main theme
of prime time TV revolved around prostitutes? How many times have our children witnessed it?
How many times have they been cursed to be in such a situation
?
He did not know whether to continue his prayer or discontinue it and reply to his mother.
Because he did not reply to this mother’s call, she cursed him. She said,

Abdullah ibn 'Umar radi Allahu anhu once passed by some people killing time by playing chess.
He was shocked at this and angrily said to them, quoting the verse of the Qur’an: What are
these IDOLS that you are standing in vigilance over?

What would he think if he saw the television set and the welcoming hug it receives in most
Muslim homes? When a Muslim nation plays in the World Cup, over three million Muslims from
that one country tune in to television to watch the game. Multiply that by the duration of the
match, and you have almost five million hours of the ummah’s time wasted on a football game,
in one sweeping night. If Karl Marx said in 1844 that "Religion is the opium of people," then
what about TV?

RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

"The person shall be (on the day of Judgment) with those that he loves."

Tell a Muslim child that if he loves Michael Jackson so much, then on the Day of Judgment he
will get to be with him. It’s sad, but most Muslim children would get happy and excited about the
prospect. Isn’t that enough to strike fear into our hearts? Who are the Muslim children really
going to be with on the Day of Repayment? Most of them cannot tell you the names, even just
the names, of those people that we hope them to be with!

Let’s ask ourselves, if we allowed our sons or daughters to put up a poster of their hero, the one
whom they think is the 'coolest,' would their hero be their father or mother? Would it be the
Prophet or his companions? Or would it be a basketball player that he saw on TV? Or an actor

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(even a cartoon character) that he saw on TV? Or a model that she saw on TV? Or a musician
that he/she saw on TV? Who would it be?

Some argue that TV time is monitored in the house by the parent. However, 95% of parents
with children aged 8 and over don’t monitor the viewing material. Besides, what happens if the
parent dies on the way to work one day and the children inherit the TV? RasulAllah sal Allaahu
alayhi wa sallam said:

"There is not a single shepherd (Ameer) that Allah entrusted with a flock – who if he dies in a
state where he cheated them – Allah shall forbid him from entering paradise!" The 'ulama would
quote this hadith in regard to the father in a Muslim country that would allow a satellite dish to
enter into the home of his family which Allah entrusted him with.

Dear brothers and sisters, we are not here on earth to entertain ourselves to death. We are an
ummah with a risaalah (message)! When Rib’ee ibn 'Aamir radi Allahu anhu stood at the hands
of the king of Persia, he announced the message as proudly and as clearly as every Muslim
should. "Allah sent us to rescue humanity from slavery to slaves - to the slavery of the Lord of
all slaves; and to rescue them from the choke of the material life to the expanse of this life and
the next, and from the corruption of the cults to the justice of Islam!"

Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala states in the Qur’an:

"Verily! Hearing, sight, and the heart, all will be questioned (by Allah)." [Al-Israa 17/36]

And RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam informed us that on the Day of Repayment, no one
will move until they are asked about three things, one of which will be their youth and how they
spent it.

How are we spending our time? Why do we waste it watching TV? What do our eyes see, what
do our ears hear on TV and how is our heart affected by this?

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If we don’t know how to recite Qur’an, why aren’t we registering for a tajweed course at a
Qur’an institute? If we don’t know the language of the Qur’an and Sunnah, why aren’t we
registering for an Arabic program? If we don’t know about the life of RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi
wa sallam and his companions radi Allahu anhum why aren’t we attending the seerah and fiqh
classes in our localities?

Also, with regards to TV, we should remember that Allah tells us in the Qur’an:

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their
private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what
they do ." [An-Noor 24/30]

How do reconcile these verses with the television that assaults our eyes with haram almost
every second that it is on?

Who hasn’t heard of Cupid? They portray him in cartoons and comedies as a chubby child with
wings who is supposed to be the Angel of Love, shooting arrows of 'love' when the male looks
at the female. Rather dear brothers and sisters, it is Iblees! For RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa
sallam told us, "Verily the ‘look’ is a poisoned arrow from the arrows of Iblees!"

Shaykh At-Tahhaan once narrated an incident to his students:

It was late at night when Shaykh At-Tahhaan’s phone rang. This Muslimah whispered into the
phone, 'Is this Shaykh At-Tahhaan?'

He said, 'Yes it is me.'

She kept saying, 'Is it really you?'

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And he said, 'Yes, what is wrong?'

At that she just started sobbing and sobbing into the phone. After some time, she explained,
'The children’s father bought a TV and video machine two days ago. Tonight I found my young
son practicing the haram that he saw on his younger sister! ' Then she collapsed sobbing again.

Everything starts with a look. Big fires start with a little spark.

PART II: Turn Off TV, Turn On Life

After a grueling first year in the Faculty of Shari’ah at the Islamic University in Madinah, I came
home to Canada where I spoke to a friend whom I hadn’t spoken to for over a year. In the
conversation he said, "Last night on TV Seinfeld said... " I was puzzled and realized that for an
entire year I had not heard anything other than
"Imam Shaafi’ee said…"
and
"Imam Abu Hanifah said…"
It was this ignorance that Shaykh Abdul Muhsin 'Al-Abbaad referred to when he would say
"We ask Allah ta’aala to increase us in it’s ignorance."

Some people argue that TV is just a harmless avenue of entertainment and that no one should
make a big deal about it. It is interesting however that we see in Shari’ah that what is more
deadly than haram is bid’ah. Why you ask? Because when someone does something haram

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like eating pork, he knows it is haram and that one day it is hoped that knowledge will lead him
to fear Allah and refrain. Bid’ah, on the other hand, is something a person does with the hope of
reward from Allah, something that the person considers to be 'harmless.' It is deadlier because
the chances of this person correcting the situation are less due to the ignorance which causes a
lack of motivation.

Other people say that they have a TV for the news and Islamic or educational programs. But we
have to honestly ask ourselves – is there no other avenue to get the news? Is there no other
means by which a child can be educated and stimulated to learn?

Didn’t anyone ask why we get all this 'free' TV? What does the TV sell? No it doesn’t sell Coke
or Nike or McDonalds burgers; it sells the audience, it sells you to advertising companies! Why
do you think they charge $1 million for 30 seconds of advertising in a Superbowl game?

Consider these facts:

Brand loyalty starts at age 2. They can snatch a child into a lifetime of allegiance to their product
from that tender age. How old were you when you started loving Coke or Pepsi?

On average, a viewer watches 20,000 commercials each year. If we repeated a page of Qur’an
to you that many times, do you think you would memorize it?

This is just regarding the products. But what about the aqeedah that we are being exposed to
on TV. A whole stack of beliefs gets fed to us every time our children sit to watch and listen to
their third parent. Where are the horrific stats for that?

Go to a lecture where the imam is talking about women’s rights in Islam. Listen to the Muslim
males and females debate with the imam. Where do they get their points? Why do they become
so hostile towards anything that contradicts the western view of women’s rights? Why is there
no hostility towards the western view? Most of it was learned on TV, the rest was learned in the
public school curriculum.

If this is the programming, the brain washing of our youth, then how can they be reprogrammed

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when they prefer the TV over anyone else. It is a fact that more than half of American children
would rather watch TV than spend time with their mother or father.

In a survey which asked children what the one thing is which they would sacrifice their favorite
TV shows for, many replied that if there was some sort of outside activity they would give
preference to that. Meaning, if someone took them by the hand and organized some after
school activities, they would embrace the idea.

Here is a list of other things that you can do instead of being shackled to the TV:

- Play outdoor games and exercise outdoors or at home.

- Build extra curricular skills, such as martial arts or calligraphy or sewing.
- Visit the library.
- Take on a job, which will ensure that you become serious about life and work.
- Do acts of worship like dhikr, salah, reciting Qur’an, fasting, and reflecting on the
signs of Allah and His creation.
- Adopt an Islamic cause in the place where you live, and take part in it, such as
teaching Muslim girls.
- Support an Islamic magazine by writing and sending articles, statistics and useful
information of interest concerning Muslims in the west.
- Take part in charitable projects to help Muslim orphans, widows, divorcees and the
elderly, or join a committee to help organize social programs and celebrations for Muslims on
Eid.
- Find righteous friends to meet with and good neighbors to visit.
- Read Islamic books in particular and useful stories in general.
- Take part in da’wah activities and preschool programs in Islamic centers.
- Listen to tapes and lectures, write summaries of them, and distribute the summaries
to anyone who could benefit from them.
- Cook items to be sold to raise funds for the Islamic center.
- Take an interest in computers and computer programs. This is a vast field that can
fill a lot of time, and the computer can be used to do a lot of good things as well as providing
entertainment in the form of permissible games.

Today is the beginning of a new day. Allah gave us this day to use as we will. We can waste it
or use it for something good and beneficial.

But let us know that what we do today is important because we are exchanging a day of our life

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for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever and in its place shall be something
that we left behind; let that be something good and beneficial.

By Muhammad Alshareef

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