ASSERTIVENESS

WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?

“standing up for your rights in such a way that you do not

violate another person’s rights”
“Expressing your needs, wants opinions, feelings and beliefs
in direct, honest and appropriate ways.”

EXPRESSION OF ASSERTIVENESS- requires

Courage
Confidence
Absence of timidity
Openness

Continuous optimism
General enthusiasm
High self esteem.

ASSERTIVENESS IS NOT:
Aggressive behaviour
Pride or show-off
Interference
Rudeness and stubbornness
Exceeding authority
Breaking rules
NEGATIVE ASSERTIVENESS
Unfounded over-confidence
Initiative in the wrong direction
Willingness to dominate others
Selfishness
Too much unproductive talk
Undermining group effort
Boasting.

INFLUENCE ON DEGREE OF ASSERTIVENESS

Natural intelligence
Personal background
Health and physical strength
National ideology/level of indoctrination
Religious influence
Leadership
Sex of the individual
Education and training.

TYPES OF ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

Basic assertive behaviour
Expresses his wants and needs
Is not shy/stands up for his/her rights
Expresses his/her stand point
Confesses his/her beliefs

Empathetic assertive behaviour

Sympathetic with colleagues in pursuance of his/her needs.
Appreciates concerns of others
Demands rights/requirements with consideration and
respect.

Discrepancy assertiveness
Expresses dissatisfaction with failures to achieve plans or
deviation from plans
Negative feelings assertiveness
The person is able to tell a colleague of the undesirable
effect his/her (the colleague’s) behaviour is having on
him/her.
E.g.. Drinking, smoking, late return home etc.

Consequence assertiveness
Is expressed in the ability to openly tell a person of the
negative outcome of his deeds.
E.g. overspeeding
Taking drugs
Disregarding rules.

Responsive assertiveness
Exercisable when negotiating the best action for two parties.
One party finding out what the other party needs through
opinions, feelings or position on a subject.

WHAT BEING ASSERTIVE MEANS

Being open and straight forward
Being helpful and responsible
Being responsive and action oriented
Being sympathetic and understanding
Being informative and dependable
Being courageous and forward looking
Being direct

Not being over-apologetic

Being brief
Not feeling the need to justify anything
Being truthful
Not resorting to unnecessary flattery
Asking for clarification when you need it.
Asking for more time when you need it.

Stating disagreements clearly

Being constructive where you express a doubt.
Using ‘I’ rather than ‘YOU’ in communication.
Not being afraid to change your views in the light of new
information.
Not underestimating yourself or your abilities.

BEING ASSERTIVE IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS

Making requests
Be direct
Give reasons
Keep it short
Don’t take refusal personally
Respect other person’s right to say no.

Refusing requests
Keep the reply short
Tell the truth
Acknowledge the requester
Emphasise with body language.

Giving praise
Maintain eye contact
Keep praise brief and clear
 Make it specific
Use ‘I’ statements

Receiving praise
Keep your response short
Thank the giver
If praise is wrong, say THANK YOU then disagree.

Giving criticism
Be specific
Seek response to your contribution
Ask for suggestions for change.

Receiving criticism
Ask if you don’t understand
Don’t take criticism as personal
Keep voice at normal level
Maintain eye contact
Disagree politely.