Day 4
Discipline (paideia = instruct in turn from país
= child) means to provide instruction, with the intent
of coming to proper habits. Paideia is a broad term,
signifying whatever parents and teachers do to train,
correct, cultivate and educate children, in order to
help them develop and mature as they ought.
Paideia has particular reference to child-training,
carried out with both firmness and gentleness as
needed in each particular case. Parenting is tough.
Most parents fall into one of these categories: too
tough or too gentle. The Gospel teaches us the
balance. A father should guide and correct his child.
As a ship's captain keeps his vessel on course, so a
father is charged to keep his children on course. So
often we spend inordinate amounts of time training
our children for worldly ventures; are we preparing
them for what really matters? What have you
spoken into your children this week that will prepare
them for His Kingdom?
Not only are we to “bring up” our children, but
we are also to do it in a certain way. Notice that we are
to bring them up in the “training and admonition” of the
Lord. Our relationship to them, then, is to have a
certain quality of substance and a specific direction.
Training is to give them skills, and admonition is to
correct and fine-tune the way these skills are to be
used. We are to relate in a way that builds character
and teaches them to relate to others, and to God, with
this quality of character. It involves provision but also
correction. Today, focus on providing that quality of
character as a guide, but also display it in all your
relationships. The best teacher is one who lives what
he teaches!
In this verse there are many words used by
different translations. - To exasperate or provoke; do
not nag or arbitrarily assert authority.
The danger in the home is when there are parents
who are authoritarian, but they do not exercise
loving, spiritual authority.
Parents, the question we need to ask ourselves
is ‘do we exercise loving, spiritual authority?’
Day 5 Volume 2 Number 17
Instruction (Nouthesia from noutheteo =
literally "put in mind". It means literally putting in the
ENGAGED
mind and implies the teaching of the Lord's ways April 24 - 30
through His Word. It is any word of encouragement or
reproof, which leads to correct behavior. It conveys
the idea of giving one counsel about avoiding or
ceasing an improper course of conduct.
The Houston police department years ago put out a
leaflet called “How to Ruin Your Children.” And it was
guaranteed to be 99 percent effective. In part, this is
what is said:
a) Principle #1—“Begin with infancy to give the child
everything he wants.”
b) Principle #2—“When he picks up bad words, laugh
at him.”
c) Principle #3—“Never give him any spiritual
training. Let him wait until he’s twenty-one years old,
and then let him decide for himself.”
d) Principle #4—“Avoid using the word ‘wrong.’ It may
develop a serious guilt complex.” Ephesians 6:4
e) Principle #5—“Pick up everything he leaves lying
“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to
around, so he will be experienced in throwing
wrath, but bring them up in the training and
responsibility on everybody else.”
admonition of the Lord.”
Make a list of top 5 parenting principles you have
learned or have been taught?
Regret is a cruel companion, who we cannot shake
or leave behind. It may be that you feel your children have
already moved beyond your influence. But remember, you
will never move out of relationship with your children, even
in the most strained of situations. It is impossible to do so. through
So find hope in whatever stage you may be at with your
children. Even if they are not yet born, if you will someday
be a parent, you are already developing the character that
will influence them, as you relate to them in the parent/child
relationship. But, if you are a parent of adult children, the
purifying effect of a closer walk with God will have a far
more powerful effect on your family than you can imagine.
Purpose in your heart today to pursue this closer walk. It
cannot help but impact those to whom you are connected!
Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming
down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them
in the way of the Master. The Message
Day 1
In Colossians 3:21, Paul adds a phrase (may
not lose heart) to this negative command. This ‘losing
heart’ was a serious symptom of children during the First
century.
Fathers, do not exasperate (erethizo - cause to feel
resentment, make bitter, excite to anger) your children,
that they may not lose heart (athumeo from a= without +
thumos = passion -- means to become disheartened, and
so lack motivation. The word implies losing heart, being
listless, spiritless, disinterested, moody and sullen, with a
kind of blank resignation toward life). (See note -
Colossians 3:21).
It is interesting to note that the first reference in the Bible
to teaching has to do with Abraham's responsibility to
bring up his own son in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord... (Genesis 18:19).
The negative side of the command is necessary because
in the ancient culture of both Gentile and Jewish
households, the father often ruled the family in a rigid and
domineering manner, with little concern for the desires
and welfare of the wife and children. The gospel changed
parenting and Paul reminds them of their new way of
living now, possibly because of the filling and
empowerment by the Holy Spirit. This concept would
have been revolutionary in the Roman Culture.
Note that the Greek word for “fathers” is pateres (plural)
and although usually the word for the male head of the
family, it is sometimes used to speak of the parents,
encompassing both the mother and father. It cannot be
overlooked that the responsibility for nurturing children in
the faith is dad’s responsibility. Obviously, mothers will
have much to do with the nurture and training but fathers
who relinquish this duty entirely to their wives, do so in
clear violation of New Testament teaching.
We often stumble around in our relating to one
another. We offend unwittingly, we frustrate by our
narrowness or vague expectations. We expect people,
and maybe especially our children, to understand what we
mean even if we don’t make ourselves clear. There is a
hint of that in the first statement in Ephesians 6:4. The
warning about frustrating our children implies that the
possibility is there. It may also mean that it WILL happen
if we don’t guard against it. Begin to look at yourself
objectively and remember, those to whom we relate only
see what we say and we do, not what we think or intend.
Can we discipline Children without embittering
them? Parents, I encourage you to talk about this
together and go back and read Deut. 6:6-9. Paul
warns fathers not to create resentment in their
children.
Day 2
Provoke - parorgízo from pará = at point of,
unto, implying movement toward a certain point +
orgizo = to irritate or make angry. It means to
exasperate, which means to excite the anger of or to
cause irritation or annoyance to. Frequently, abusing
our God-given authority over children causes
exasperation. Paul uses the present imperative with
a negative which can be translated ‘stop provoking
your children to anger’, implying that it was going on
among the saved Gentile fathers. Not provoking them
to anger involves avoiding attitudes, words and
actions, which would drive a child to anger,
exasperation or resentment. Children can be
provoked to anger when the father makes
unreasonable demands, when he is constantly fault
finding, when he neglects his children (as did King
David - see 2Samuel 14-15), or when he is
inconsistent. Is your parenting style speaking
neglect, abuse or inconsistency to your children? By
the way, this is not a ‘what do you think’ question. It
is a ‘what would your children say?’ question.
The frustration in family relationships often
occurs because each individual in the family doesn’t
see the goals in the same way. Notice today that
these verses give a way to avoid the frustrations that
provoke conflict. The model of Christ in His
relationships helps us steer clear of selfish interests,
circular thinking and unachievable expectations.
Take time every week to look at the way Jesus
related to various individuals and groups, and take
His relating as your model.
Resentment usually occurs when parents
impose unreasonable demands without concern for
the feelings of the children. Today parents, think
about your relationship with your mother and father
and when you were hurt over unreasonable
demands.
Day 3
Bring them up ‘ektrepho from ek = out or
as an intensifier + trépho = nourish, rear, feed’
means to nourish up to maturity, to nourish in
general, to nurture, to bring up from childhood, to
raise a child to maturity by providing, not just for
their physical but also for emotional and spiritual
needs. Ektrepho means to provide food for, with
the implication of a considerable period of time,
and the food being adequate nourishment.
The present imperative indicates this is a
command to be carried out as the father's
lifestyle or habitual practice. It is to be
intentional. In a sense, he should always (even
when he is old and gray) be teaching them the
wisdom God has taught him. Do you have a
parenting plan to bring your children out of
immaturity and into the discipline of the Lord or
do you wing-it?
Raising children is a full-time
responsibility. Relating to them is seen almost as
an add-on in this respect. Feeding, clothing,
educating and looking out for their future,
sometimes makes us think we’ve done all we can
do. But notice, this verse says to “bring them
up.” These words imply a “tender” growing or
rearing. The essence of this is to relate to them
in a way that gives them a gentle but firm push in
the way of the Lord, interacting with them in
every part of the process. The real joy of
parenthood is sharing life as a well rounded
adult, given the joy and responsibility of shaping
a young life to know God, and to grow up to be
like Him. Are you relating in this way or simply
“providing” for them?
Parents are to train their children to
distinguish right from wrong in everyday life. But
this training should take place within the context
of a loving, caring and forgiving relationship.