Prescriptions for Success ©

By Dr. Jeri Dyson

http://www.drjerispeaks.com/

Introduction

I decided to write this book to help the large numbers of teens and parents who would

ask me for tips on becoming successful. I am constantly invited to speak to youth and

give them tips on successful living. What better way to address the needs and

questions of teens than by writing a book they can refer to whenever they need it.

The purpose of this book is to inform adolescents and young adults of the many paths

towards success. For many years, people have written manuscripts that help adults

maneuver the paths to happiness and joy in life. Why wait until adulthood to discover

the tools you need to lead a peaceful and intentional life? Many of us get to adulthood

and have no idea how we ended up doing what we’re doing. We can’t tell you why we

chose the career path that some of us have chosen. Many of us have been “taken”

along this course by the strength of the current.

As a young person starting out or maybe you have been in the “real world” for a

minute, it is time for you to live your life intentionally. By living an intentional life, you

choose which path you walk. Your life should not happen by chance. Leave nothing to

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chance. This book will help you hear that still soft voice in selecting the right paths to

take. You may have made some mistakes throughout your course of life. I hope this

book will encourage you and give you options as well as the courage to make new

choices for a brighter outlook.

When I was challenged to write this book, I initially thought: “What do I say?” and,

“How do I say it in a way to let young people know they have choices in life?” There is

not just “one ending” to the stories of our lives. Your story can be as wonderful as you

choose to make it, even if it starts out completely dismal. Your destination is not

determined by where you start.

Then after I determined how to say it, the next thought was, “where do I start?” I

decided to start at the beginning.

As you read this manuscript, some of you may feel that it’s too late in life for you to

make the necessary changes to reach that positive outcome. Remember it’s never too

late to make a change. Throughout this book I will include tools and tips that I used

along with the stories of some other successful people. I believe that the information

in this book will help and encourage you to become the best you you can possibly be.

One aim of this book is to address the character issues that must accompany success.

Numerous books have been written about success but very few address the mental

changes that must take place to maintain that success. Many people view success as

money but money without a mind-change equals misery. In the next few pages, we

will discuss ways to filter through life to attain happiness along with successful living.

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Success can mean a number of things to various people. Some want to become

entrepreneurs. For some, success is being married with wonderful children and a

pleasant home life. Many interchange success for “lots of money.” Each of us needs to

create our own definition of what success is to us.

Although we may have different definitions, the principles are the same: in order to

achieve your goals, you must be willing to pursue them full-force. Be unrelenting with

your dreams until your dream becomes your reality.

This book is not a guarantee to overnight fame but one thing I can assure you is that

you can become successful if you apply yourself, believe in your dream and never quit!

Have a Happy Journey.

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Setting Goals

One of the most common questions that people your age will receive is, “What are you
going to do when you grow up?” You need to use this time to dream and dream big!!
What do you see yourself doing? Where do you want to be 10 years from now? Even 5
years from now? You need to see yourself making great contributions to the world.
Have a vision for yourself. Set goals and shoot for the stars. Aim high!!! The only
limitations you have in life are the ones you place on yourself so don’t be afraid to
dream and dream big!!! That is this month’s Prescription for Success©.

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 Chapter 1

Setting Goals: “What is Your Vision?”

“When your memories are bigger than your dreams, you’re in trouble.” Jessie Duplantis

Have you ever heard people say, “without a vision people perish?” How true a

statement this is. I have seen many people with potential fall short in life because they

had no vision. To succeed in life, you must have a dream, a goal or something to

aspire towards. In sports, the players have a goal they are aiming for. Be it basketball,

football or soccer, there is a goal the players are aiming for. Can you imagine

attending a game where the players were running around aimlessly, throwing the ball

from one person to another, moving in all different directions only for the game to end

and no one score? Pretty bizarre, huh? Well that is how many people live their lives.

They move from one position to another with no goals, no dreams, and no vision. It

reminds me of a person on a treadmill: exerting much effort yet moving no further

from the point at which they began.

To move forward, you must have a vision. A vision is that ultimate dream you are

pressing towards to make it a reality. In order to move toward your vision, you have to

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get a plan together and write it down. Some people have no problems dreaming. The

issue arises when it comes time to move forward towards making it a reality. Anything

not written down is just a thought or even more a wish. Most things that exist started

with a mere thought. But the thinker had to go beyond the thought and make it real.

To do this, they needed to write down the thought and the path toward making it a

reality.

Can you imagine a fashion designer coming to a seamstress or tailor with no sketches?

While the tailor is attempting to imagine the designer’s words and create that

wonderful dress, he may not fashion the piece just as the designer imagined. The

designer needs something on paper to communicate their vision clearly? Can you

imagine that meeting? Shear confusion.

Many people have plans, big plans for a brighter future yet fail to write them down.

Sure, your vision may change but you need to start somewhere.

What I recommend is to start with writing down your dreams. It may be to become a

writer or play a professional sport. Only you can determine what your dream is. If you

are struggling to discover your dream, exercise your imagination and ask yourself

some questions.

1. What is it that I really enjoy doing? Is it cooking, decorating, helping

people, entertaining? Once you find that particular thing, write it down. You

may have more than one dream. The dreams do not need to be related.

With some teens, the hardest thing for them to do is dream about their

future. It may take you a few days of just thinking and asking yourself this

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 question. Once you have determined what it is you love to do, ask yourself

the following question:

2. What can I do to make this a reality? This is the part where many people

get stuck, even some adults. They’ll say, “If I’ve never done this before, how

can I be expected to know what to do to get there?” That is an excellent

point. When you get to this point in your planning, you need to reach

beyond what you know and do what I call “homework.” Yes, homework!

Just hear me out… This is the point where you should begin to reach out to

people who have accomplished what you’re attempting to do. If you don’t

know anyone who has done specifically what you plan on doing, just reach

out to the next successful person. Many times, they may be able to connect

you with another person who can assist you. In making your dreams a

reality, you cannot afford to be shy. Even if you feel your dream is a first,

there are always people who can help you navigate the waters and make your

journey a little easier. Look around you and see who’s doing what you desire

to do. It may be as simple as meeting with someone you know and asking

them for advice. In most cases, it’s not that easy! You may come from an

environment where you will be the first to graduate from high school. Or the

first to attend college. Whatever your challenge, don’t make it an obstacle.

We have the power to create stepping stones from those barriers. We can

use them as a means to be creative and find a different way to make our

dreams a reality.

The challenge for you at this point may be coming out of your comfort zone

and meeting new people.

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How many times has an adult asked you, “What do you want to be when you

grow up?” I knew I wanted to become a medical doctor since I was 8 years old.

If I heard that question once, I heard it a million times. I knew that I would need

to finish high school get accepted into college and graduate. Apply to medical

school, be accepted and graduate. Do you see the pattern? Finish… It’s all

about finishing what you start.

With my strong personality and the influence from my family, I knew I needed

some outside coaching/mentoring. Neither my mother nor father was a

physician but they were highly motivated intelligent people who had

accomplished a lot in their own lives. I have other family members who are

physicians, yet I felt like I needed another contact person to aid me in my quest

to become a doctor.

By the time I reached the 6th grade, I had already chosen my specialty. I chose

Pediatric Cardiovascular Surgery. I think I was more impressed with the long

title than what Pediatric cardiac surgeons actually do. These are surgeons who

perform heart operations on babies and children. To this day I cannot tell you

where I got that idea from. By the 7th grade, my parents even purchased a

model heart for me to place on my desk. You could not tell me I wasn’t already

a doctor. I would pick up that model heart and memorize the parts I could read

on the model guidebook.

3. Connect with people who can help you. I was not born into wealth but my

parents understood the importance of helping me make my dreams a reality,

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 regardless of how unusual. Part of making that dream real was connecting

me with someone who had accomplished what I wanted to do. I will tell you

my first experience of “reaching out to others” and some of the lessons I

learned.

Let us fast forward to high school. I had family and friends of the family who

were physicians but in my mind, I needed to talk with a “cardiovascular

surgeon.” I found a surgeon who was willing to talk with me. I think my

father’s friend gave me his name. I made plans to meet with him. I want to

show you how much effort it took to meet this man. He worked in another city

and state not far from my hometown. I wrote him a letter and made an

appointment to meet with him. My father and I got into the car and were on our

way. I was so excited about the encounter. I was beaming with joy, rehearsing

what questions I would ask him and pondering the questions he may ask me.

The ride was about an hour and I talked the entire trip. “What if he finds me a

position at this school? That would be great!” Once I arrived at this prominent

physician’s office things were much different than I had imagined. For starters,

he was rude and he spoke condescendingly towards me. I will not ever forget

his comment to me, “You’re talking to me about medical school… You first

need to get into college! That’s where you need to be. Not in my office trying

to talk about being a surgeon!” I think the world froze for a moment after he

spoke to me in that tone. I wasn’t expecting tea and scones but I did expect

some human courtesy, especially since he was an African American recruiter for

the school. He was introduced to me as one who took a strong interest in the

lives of young people.

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Immediately, my mind began turning. “Was he not aware that I was in high

school before he agreed to meet with me? What is all the hostility for? Maybe

he had gas and his stomach was cramping.” Whatever the cause for his

aggression, I knew I wasn’t supposed to take it personal but I did. After I

regained consciousness from his verbal barrage of insults and my world

returned to its previous rotational spin, he extended his hand and said, “It was

nice to meet you. I hope you accomplish your goals.” We stood up, and that

was the end of the meeting. It took no more than 5 minutes (seven if you

include the introductions.)

When I walked out of the building my dad was standing outside and his face

showed the same amazement that I felt on the inside but refused to show on the

outside. Dad started firing questions, “Did you meet him? Was he there? That

was awfully quick, what did he say?” The entire time he’s asking questions, I’m

retorting with one word responses while replaying the event to see if there was

something I did to make this man upset. Through his onslaught of questions I

concluded there was nothing I had done to invite this attack. So I took the time

on the ride home to draw some learning points from that experience. I made a

decision that his attitude would not dissuade me from becoming a physician.

As a matter of fact, I was more determined to become a physician without his

support. This was an internal conversation between God and me. I’m certain my

father wanted to be included in the dialogue especially since I transitioned from

a talking bobble-head on the way there to a stone statue on the trip back home.

He let it alone and just figured I was working through the experience. To this

day, he and I never discussed what happened in that office.

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The amazing part of this story is not that I became a physician without the

surgeon’s help but that I ended up working at that very hospital some years

later. Up to that point, I had not given the surgeon much thought until I

received my appointment letter from the hospital. Every year, physicians would

receive a letter stating our acceptance to work at that particular hospital. It is

called an appointment letter. Well, guess whose name was at the bottom of the

appointment letter? You guessed it, my favorite surgeon. It had been over 12

years since our initial encounter. I’m certain he forgot all about the meeting, I

used it to motivate me towards my goal. I wrote all this to say, you can’t control

how those you reach out to will respond, so don’t let bad encounters hinder you

from making your dreams a reality. If the first person is not much help, keep

trying until you find someone who can assist you. In your pursuit to find the

right person, keep pressing toward your goal until you make that match. Even if

you can’t find the right person to help you blaze that trail, don’t give up. Keep

moving toward your dream.

Remember, we have the power to create barriers or use them as a means to

drive us towards our dreams. The choice is yours.

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 Chapter 2

Create a Roadmap: Developing & Writing Your

Goals Guide

Back to our question, What can I do to make this a reality?

Write, write, write... After you have identified your goal, write down the steps you need

to take to reach your goal. First baby steps and then big steps. If you’re still stuck

and find it difficult to write down a plan, try the following. I find it easier to categorize

my life and put it into sections. Then I answer key questions in each section.

Remember, there are certain things that will qualify as a goal. David Bach, author of

“Smart Women Finish Rich” gave 5 rules to guide us in writing goals:

1. A goal is not a goal until it is written down, before then it is just a wish.

2. Secondly, goals must be specific, measurable and provable.

3. After you write your goals, you should take immediate action toward your goals.

4. Put your goals in place where you can see them every day.

5. Finally, share your goals with someone you love and trust.

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Let me give you an example. When I developed my life goals guide, I divided my plan

into 6 divisions:

1. spiritual

2. social

3. emotional

4. intellectual

5. physical

6. financial

You may have more categories but this is just a tip to help you get started. Under each

category, I write down specific things I desire to accomplish and how I plan on doing it.

The first time you write your goals, it may be a page. As you become more specific,

your goals will turn into more pages. The aim here is simply to think about it and write

it down. Many people attempt to make their goal guide so elaborate and lengthy that

it actually becomes intimidating and seems unattainable. You want to make your

goals guide as realistic and simple as possible.

I will give you examples of specific goal guides for each area.

Emotional

1. This is from a 14 year-old female who is having difficulty expressing her anger

towards her parents after their divorce. She has to spend more time with her

younger siblings but is having difficulty appreciating their time together.

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 Emotional Goal: This year I will aim and focus on becoming more expressive

with my feelings instead of letting problems and issues get me down. I will not

explode on my friends and family when they ask me what is bothering me but

instead I will share my thoughts openly with them. I will express my affection

for my family members by telling them that I love them, especially my little

sister. I will spend more of time with my younger brother doing things that he

likes to do. When my parents do things that disappoint me, I will tell them how I

feel. If I have a hard time expressing my feelings, I’ll call my Aunt Jean over to

help me talk to them.

Intellectual

2. A 16 year-old boy with aspirations to become a lawyer.

Intellectual Goal: I will attend the college of my dreams and become a lawyer.

Specifically, I will spend more time on calculus since pre-calculus gave me the most

trouble last year. If necessary, I will also find a tutor or ask the instructor to take more

time with me after class. I will maintain a 3.7 GPA and try out for advanced placement

history. I will study for and take the PSAT this year. Next summer I will enroll in an SAT

preparation course. I will also contact some of the colleges I am interested in before

the summer ends to see what their admission requirements are. During my junior

year, I will go and visit my top 5 picks and apply to those schools I like most.

Physical

3. This is a 17 year-old female who has been dealing with obesity since childhood.

She was recently diagnosed with type II Diabetes and started on medications:

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Physical Goal: I am not happy with the diagnosis of Diabetes and I don’t like taking

this medicine everyday. My doctor said if I work on loosing a few pounds, I may be

able to stop the medicine. I will walk 5 blocks twice a day, 3 times a week: once in the

morning before my job, and 1 hour before we sit down to eat dinner. Maybe mom will

walk with me since she’s trying to loose weight too. The doctor would like me to meet

with the dietician. I agree to meet with her to find out some healthier foods for me to

eat. I will eat healthier snacks after class, stop drinking soda and start drinking more

water.

Financial

4. A 13 year-old female with plans to save money for some new clothes.

Financial Goal: I saw a pair of jeans and a shirt that I want to wear for my friends’

birthday party. My dad said the only way I’ll get them is if I buy them. I work

babysitting my neighbor’s twins every Friday. I make $40 for 3 hours of babysitting.

Each week I will put $25 in my savings and put the $15 to the side until I’m able to buy

that outfit. I will check to see if Mr. and Mrs. Johnson will need me to babysit during

the week, that way I can make the money I need faster.

Those were just a few examples of teen goal guides. Your goals can be longer or

shorter. The best results will come as you make your goals guide as specific as

possible. To do this, ask yourself some questions as you begin to write the goals.

How long will I give myself to complete this goal?

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 What is the date that I wish to have this goal accomplished?

What can I do on a daily basis to make this goal a reality?

Who should I involve to keep me focused?

Are there specific classes I can take or programs I can join to make this task

easier to accomplish?

Once you answer these questions, make them a part of your goals guide; you can use

your guide as a reference for the information you need.

I will give you another example of my own goal guide under the physical

category. I am not a very athletic person. To be brutally honest, I don’t have an

athletic bone in my body. I do participate in physical activities that I consider fun, like

paintball or even walking, but you won’t find me traveling all over the world to run in a

marathon. That’s not my thing. Although I dislike running, I did have a strong desire

to participate in Jacksonville’s Gate River Run when I first moved to Florida. I knew I

couldn’t just wake up and run the entire event without preparation. One of my

physical goals that year was to run the 5K, so I wrote it down. You may be thinking,

“5K? A baby can run that!” You’re right because a few passed me on the way to the

finish line; but for me that was a big stretch. In my goals guide for 2006, I wrote that I

would start out spending just 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week preparing for the event.

I started about 5 months before the event and had ample time to increase my workout

routine. I missed a few days but got back on track, literally. The day of the event, my

cousins came from Georgia to cheer me on. I must admit, I had to walk the last few

steps but I finished the Gate River Run and developed a new found respect for distance

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runners. Whatever it is you desire to do, you can do it, if you plan it, write it down,

work the plan and stick with it.

So before you start writing your goals guide, ask yourself the following

question: “Where do I want to be in life next year this same time?” Once you get those

brain juices flowing, you can look out longer and do a 5 year plan, 10 year plan and so

on. Remember, you want to be as specific as you can in each section. To stay focused,

I typically will start writing my plans and goals guide in October before the upcoming

year. I usually include a place on the bottom of the page and sign it on New Year’s Day.

I consider this a contract between me and myself to accomplish these goals. This is

your personalized “Roadmap to Success.” Success is however you define it. Your goals

guide should encompass your purpose and your plans. It should be a revelation of

what God has placed you on this earth to do.

My mentors have a yearly meeting where they encourage people to do visual

forecasting. That’s is where you see yourself already in the place you desire to be.

Each participant is encouraged to come on the platform and speak what they will

accomplish this time next year. Be it a business, a spouse, a foundation, whatever the

dream, present it and focus your vision on making it a reality. After the person has

stated their dream, the on-lookers encourage them with heartfelt applause and cheers.

Many of the people who come to the meeting the following year have accomplished

just what they stated the previous year.

Visual forecasting is not a new concept. In sports, many athletes do this before a big

game. I heard an Olympic runner say how they envisioned themselves walking into the

stadium, they picture the crowd cheering, they see the lane they have been assigned

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to, they hear the gunshot, and they see themselves running flawlessly around the

track.

While I was attending Meharry Medical College in Nashville, Tennessee I would use

visualization especially during board preparation. When I was in med school, the

board exam was a two-day test that was administered in three parts they called

“Steps”. These are nationally administered tests, similar to the SAT exam only harder

and more expensive. At the time I took the examination, they were given once a year

at specific locations and administered the same day and time for everyone who took

them.

“Step 1” was given after your second year of medical school. It was a test of all of the

basic sciences you learned while in medical school. Looking back, I believe this may

have been the hardest of the three. “Step 2” assessed your clinical training and was a

culmination of every specialty under medicine: general surgery, pediatrics, obstetrics

and gynecology, psychiatry and internal medicine. Step 2 was administered sometime

between your third and fourth years. At my medical school, you needed to pass Steps

1 and 2 before you were awarded your medical degree. You can only imagine the

pressure that many of us felt with these tests standing between us and our futures. To

make matters worse, our medical school at the time had a horrible pass rate. Both

board exams started each morning around 7:30AM and ended around 4:30PM. The

examiners allotted about 2 minutes per question so we were reading fast and thinking

faster.

Before taking the actual exam, I would sit in the room that the test was being given,

close my eyes and imagine myself reading the questions and answering them

correctly. I would do this exercise weeks before the actual exam. By doing this I

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became accustomed to the environmental noises and it was easier for me to

concentrate while I was actually taking the test. I can happily say that I passed both

exams on my first attempt. What happened after medical school is another story. I’ll

discuss that in the chapter on perseverance.

Do not misunderstand me, visualization exercises are just a part of the puzzle.

Athletes still need to practice and students must study to succeed in their chosen

fields. You can envision yourself doing well all day long, but if you don’t take the time

to put the work in you will come up short of your dreams. Goal guides are meant to

help you stay on track but they only work if you have quick access to them. After you

have finished brainstorming and writing don’t place your roadmap in a drawer or file

never to be seen again. Now it’s time to work your plan! Depending on what you have

written, you may need to revisit your guide every three months. Some people read it

every month, so put it in a place you can get to easily. In some cases, you may need to

re-read your guide every week. In our technologically savvy world, many people

choose to have electronic records of documents. I would caution you to keep the goals

guide in computer form but also print out a copy on paper.

Another aspect of successful planning is accountability. Once you have completed

your goals guide, allow someone that you trust to look over them. I call this person

the “checker.” You have to be open for suggestions at this point. Some things in your

roadmap may change but the core goals on your guide should remain unchanged. The

checker you select to review your goals should be someone who can help you stay

focused. Their purpose is not to criticize your goals or place limitations on your

vision. Their aim is to give additional suggestions or help you articulate your plans

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more clearly. They may even help you re-order your plans to make achieving them

less stressful. Now that you have your roadmap, it’s time to hit the road!!

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 Chapter 3

Diligence: Seeing Your Vision Through

As an adult, I have always found it amazing how people have custom homes designed

and built from the ground. The future homeowner will visit the home from the time

the foundation is laid until the completion of the house. When the homeowners first

go out, it’s just a slab of concrete. If they’re at a later stage in the building process,

the frame of the house may be in place. The homeowners walk through the open

frames visualizing each room: the bonus room, guest bedrooms, the master suite, the

living room, bathrooms and the kitchen. As an outsider looking in, you have no idea

what the new homeowner is beaming about. You just see concrete floors with wooden

beams where walls would be and open skies all around you, especially if there is no

roof in place at this point. As an outsider, this house is not your vision so it is very

difficult to look through the air and see a fireplace or a cooking island in a kitchen. All

you see are trees blowing in the wind... But to the one having the house built (the

visionary), they can stand in what will soon be the kitchen and almost taste the food.

This is how real your dream or vision has to be in your mind.

While the homeowner is waiting for the finished product, they may go out to the home

site every 2-3 weeks. The purpose is to monitor the progress to make certain the

vision is progressing as written. Some people would rather wait until the dry wall is in

place to see what they have. By that time, it’s too late to make changes to any

mistakes you may find. One thing I know for sure, if the blueprints of the home are

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not clear, the construction company is likely to present you with a finished product

that is very different from your dream home.

This homebuilding analogy was just a type to help you see the tenacity and

involvement you need to complete your goals. The way in which the prospective

homeowner revisits the site is how you need to reevaluate the Goals Guide you

developed. I usually schedule the beginning of each quarter (every three months) to

revisit my goals. If my vision has many parts and check lists, I may revisit my goals

monthly. By doing this, I keep the vision and goals fresh in my mind and am ever

pressing in the direction to complete them. The decisions I make are based upon

completing the goals for that season.

I am often asked to be a part of novel endeavors or join different groups. The first

question I ask myself before rendering my answer is, “Will this help me complete the

goals I have set or will this become a detraction?” Not every good thing is meant for

you to be a part of so choose wisely.

Remember to mark off your goals as you complete them. Again, when making a list of

goals, you also want to place an expected completion date by each item. The dates

may vary based on how complex each task is. For instance, if you are in high school

and planning on enrolling in a university. You should map out different tasks and

goals as follows:

1. Apply for and take the PSAT by the completion of sophomore year.

2. Apply for the SAT/ACT examination by the winter of junior year.

3. Sit for the SAT/ACT examination.

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 4. Write the colleges I am interested in attending to request applications

during the summer of sophomore year (or obtain the applications

online).

5. Contact the financial aid office to determine my eligibility for assistance

and scholarships.

6. Participate in college fairs in my city my junior year.

7. Complete and submit college applications to administrative offices of

my top choice universities the fall of my junior year.

8. Complete and submit financial assistance forms to corresponding

universities.

Of course, there are more things that need to be done before enrolling into a university

but this is just a small example of making a formal list of your goals and putting a date

to it.

I like deadlines because they force us to become more committed to completing a task

at a specific time as opposed to just having a wish list of lofty goals.

Once you have completed a goal, mark it as “done” and place a date by the item.

Reading your self-designed roadmap frequently keeps the vision fresh in your mind

and helps you see when you are “off-road.”

I want to give you a word of caution: After you have gathered your thoughts and placed

your goals on paper with your timeline, don’t be too rigid. Planning for your future is

wonderful but you don’t want to be so rigid that you overlook opportunities that come

your way. We don’t always get to dictate how our lives will function from beginning to

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end so don’t get caught in the trap of planning it down to the letter. Ultimately it is

God who brings all of our goals to fruition. I had a friend once tell, “If you wanna make

God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

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 Chapter 4

Preparation for Success: Have a Plan and Work Your Plan

“It’s better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity

and not be prepared.” Whitney M. Young, Jr.

Noted author and motivational teacher John C. Maxwell said, “You can only be shocked

once. After that, you’re not prepared.” In other words, the first time can be

considered a mistake. If you place yourself in that same bad predicament again, it’s

because you weren’t prepared or you failed to learn the lesson the first time.

Before I launched into my dream career, people were constantly asking me to prepare

some type of educational talk for their youth. Since lecturing is a part of what

adolescent medicine doctors do to educate their patients, the parents, younger

physicians who work with them and their colleagues many adolescent physicians are

often preparing teachings of some sort. The lectures that many of these institutions

requested were outside the scope of what I usually present; so I had to prepare myself.

I often tell younger physicians who work with me to take time to prepare a quality

presentation; because your audience can always tell if you are truly prepared or if you

just threw something together. Many highly functioning people rely on their intellect

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and skill to pull things together at the last minute. Some people feel their work is of

higher quality when they rush in a last minute frenzy. In fact, I can remember fellow

students in college who would intentionally wait until the last minute to write essays

and compositions. They would say being under that pressure gave their work an

added “edge”. Some students would even wait until the night before to write 10 page

term papers due at the end of the school semester even though the instructor would

tell us about the term paper on the first day of class.

Many people call it an “edge” but it’s really procrastination; and it is one of the biggest

enemies to success. Procrastination is when you put off the completion of a task until

a later time. When you put things off today, more than likely you will put it off again

tomorrow. At the root of most procrastination is fear. Motivation is the key to press

past that fear and begin to move towards making your dreams a reality.

In medical school, studying was not a problem for me because I have always looked at

school like a full-time job. Besides, I was a lot younger then and highly eager to make

my dream of becoming a physician a reality. However, once I received my medical

degree and realized that all of the testing had really just begun; subconsciously, I grew

weary and became tired of all the studying and testing. When I became a senior

resident it was my responsibility to teach the more junior residents and medical

students. Teaching would come in the form of bedside lectures or even formal

presentations to your team.

The life of a resident can be very taxing. We were seeing patients from the crack of

dawn until late in the evening. If you had the misfortune of being “on call” the night

before, the next day was all a blur to you. The following morning after “call” we would

have endless rounds on the patients who were under the care of our team. Rounding

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is a term medical doctors use to describe the daily surveillance of patients to ensure

they are receiving the best in-hospital care. The daily discussions for each patient

range from nutrition and medications to mental health.

When I was in residency, our weekday “call” would begin around 4PM and end around

4PM the next day, (that is if you didn’t pass out in the middle of the floor around 2AM).

Don’t be fooled by the 24 hour call, you weren’t just sitting around with your legs

kicked up on a coffee table like you see on these doctor-focused television shows.

When you were on call you were working, and quite hard I might add. During call you

were at the beck and call of anyone who needed you, hence the terminology. As a

resident, you carry out your call duties from within the hospital which means you won’t

be seeing your house until the next day. As a pediatric resident I often worked 36

hours straight. In between the overhead pages, your personal pager ringing non-stop,

code blue emergencies that you had to respond to, angry patients who would threaten

to harm your interns, aggravated nurses who would call you on the ward floor at 10 o’

clock at night to explain an order that someone else wrote earlier that morning and the

6 new admissions that just hit the floor, you had to squeeze in a snack to keep your

energy levels up. Preparing to give a noon lecture or special presentation was the last

thing on your mind. You barely could remember your name let alone Winter’s Formula

for acid-base calculations. Oh, did I mention that we had call every 3rd night as

interns? Some specialties would be “on call” every 2nd night, hence the term resident

(you reside in the hospital.) Since my years of training, the laws have changed to

protect residents from ridiculous 24 – 36 hour schedules but they still work tirelessly

to provide quality patient care. (So if you are every taken care of by a resident, be nice

to them.)

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As a senior resident, it was my responsibility to teach the residents and medical

students, no matter how tired I was. Exhaustion for us was not an excuse to slack on

your teaching. You had to teach and you needed to be prepared to do a good job. I

have interacted with some great people and one thing that many of them had in

common was the preparation they took teaching or providing information. Successful

people realize that time is a precious commodity, not to be taken for granted. The

more prepared you are for a task, the more people trust you to be responsible with

larger projects.

Regardless of your area of work, preparation is a big part of being successful. Serious

athletes like professional basketball players prepare for simple things like free throws.

The slam-dunks and three pointers look good in a game but it the little things like free

throws can win or lose games. Some players practice shooting free throws for hours.

Once you have shot 200 free throws in practice it becomes second nature to you and

those fans behind the basket with those squiggly things become irrelevant.

Personally, I remember preparing for years before I began public speaking. At one

time I became frustrated in my process of preparation. A friend told me of a special

hair product she uses that’s difficult to find. The developers of the product created a

massive demand for their product but during their promotional period, they weren’t

busy creating the product. In short, they created a buzz but weren’t ready to

produce causing people to choose a different product that would meet their needs.

She told me to take advantage of what seemed to be a block.

In the preparation phase, you need that extra time to get everything ready. Just like a

singer, when your name is called and it’s time to appear on stage, you can’t go

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onstage as you’re getting dressed. You need to BE ready. Prepare yourself so when

your name is called, all you need to do is walk out on the stage.

In your downtime, prepare for the demand. Opportunity without preparation equals

instant failure and that is not an option. There is usually a small window of

opportunity. If you aren’t able to act on the chance when it is presented, you may

need to wait a complete cycle for that opportunity to present itself again. For some,

that cycle is a few months, for others it may be years. Even worse, it may be an

opportunity that does not present itself again so ready yourself.

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 Chapter 5

Associations: Choosing Your Circle of Friends

To make preparation for anything takes planning like I mentioned earlier. Another

step towards preparing for success is to surround yourself with people who are going

in the direction that you are aiming towards. As a young girl growing up in Northeast

DC, I was a latch-key kid. Latch-key is the term used to describe children who would

come home after school and have about 2 to 3 hours in the house by themselves

before their parents returned from work. That was a safer time back then. After

school I would come directly home and either start dinner, look at television or take a

nap. If I had a lot of schoolwork, I would usually do my homework or study after a nice

snack of course. My elementary school, LaSalle Elementary, was only a block away

from our apartment building. I could remember my schoolmates always playing

outside and hanging on the corner or the school playground. It seemed as though

they were having a great time. My mother very rarely let me go outside to hang out

with friends. I recall her saying, “You’re not missing anything. The people you see just

hanging on corners will be those same people hanging on those same corners 10 years

from now.” At the time I thought she was being unfair, but as an adult I can look back

and see she was right. If you want to do big things and live big dreams you must

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prepare yourself and keep company with people who have big goals and dreams. Even

as an adult I find it very important to surround myself with positive personalities.

People who aim for greatness and have the motivation to make their desires reality. I

heard a former pastor of mine teach a valuable lesson. He asked each of us to go home

and make a list of the 5 closest people around us. “Write down traits they possess that

you admire and traits you wish they could change and why. The last thing I want you

to do is ask yourself, ‘Why do I choose to hang around this person?’ Do that for each

name on your list of five. Once you have completed your list, look at your answers and

that will give you some insight as to who you are as a person and where you are

headed in the future. If you are the smartest person in your circle, you’re in the

wrong circle. Friends that we keep the closest should always challenge us to do more

and be better. The type of challenge I speak of should not be competitive but

encouraging.

A few years ago, I was sharing my dreams with my friend, Craig Minor. He and his

wife, Diane, are good friends who fed me in my med school days. They were only a

few years older than me but somehow Craig became my self-appointed father. About

2 years ago, I told him how I planned on opening a training center for youth. I always

liked sharing plans with Craig because he was the “master of great ideas”. I went on to

tell him how I wanted to involve other professionals to positively influence our young

people. I was so excited about this new idea that I was hardly breathing between

statements. I had finally found my passion. I’m going on and on about what I was

going to do, who this center was going to help… His reply to my numerous plans and

dreams has resonated in my mind for years. In the middle of my plans, he cuts me off.

“How rude!” I began to think.

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He kindly but sternly said to me, “Jeri, don’t talk about it. Be about it!” That statement

was the fuel that got me moving. I wish I could share some of my accomplishments

with Craig but he died unexpectedly 3 months after that conversation. I’m certain he

would be proud of the things I was able to accomplish but knowing Craig the way I did,

he would probably say, “Is that all you planned on doing? ‘Cause you were talking a

hole in my head the other day… All that talking and this is all you’ve got? You can only

reach so many folks doing that. You need a bigger plan, honey.”

When choosing friends, I often surround myself with 1 or 2 people who think outside

of the box. These are the people who can play by the rules yet think around the rules

that no one else thought to create. Who you surround yourself with is so important

that I would like to take more time in this area. In the 80’s there was a hip hop group

named Whodini. In 1984 they came out with a song that had everybody singing the

lyrics. The name of that song was “Friends.” The lyrics went like this:

“Friends

How many of us have them?

Friends

Ones we can depend on

Friends

How many of us have them?

Friends

Before we go any further, lets be

Friends is a word we use everyday

Most the time we use it in the wrong way

Now you can look the word up, again and again

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But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldn’t be much help

Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself

Some are OK, and they treat you real cool

But some mistake kindness for being a fool

We like to be with some, because they're funny

Others come around when they need some money

Some you grew up with, around the way

And you're still real close too this very day

Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall

And then there's some we wish we never knew at all

And this list goes on, again and again

But these are the people that we call friends.”

copyright 1984

Friend is such a loosely used term. It’s similar to people who say “Oh that’s my BFF.”

When you check back with them, they have a new “best friend forever.” I have taken a

few moments to categorize the different characteristics of people we may encounter in

our everyday lives. Some of these personality types you want to keep close, others you

may want to keep at a distance. Inevitably you learn life lessons from them both.

You can usually tell what type of person someone is by their conversation. I’m not

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referring to the girl you just met who is saying all of the right things to impress you, or

the guy who is trying to charm you. I’m speaking of the casual conversations we have

with each other: when a person becomes relaxed in your company and is no longer

trying to impress you but just letting the conversation flow. They may start out talking

about their day but if you pay close attention, you can tell what type of person they

are. Have you ever heard anyone say, “The abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

No truer words have ever been spoken. Whatever a person is on the inside will

eventually seep through his conversation. Just listen to your conversations, they will

tell you a lot about yourself and others.

I want to caution you not to put everyone you meet into a “pre-formed box.” There is

one thing you should always remember, people like most things, do not

characteristically fit into these little boxes we make for them. We cannot categorize

people even though some of the people you meet will fit these descriptions perfectly.

You have to take people at face value and be willing to give them a chance to show you

who they really are.

I have often heard leaders say “association brings on assimilation.“ The essence of this

statement is: the more time you spend with people you begin to pick up their habits.

There is a Japanese proverb that says, “When the character of a man is not clear to you,

look at his friends.”

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 Jeri A. Dyson, MD
Founder of GET IN THE KNOW
"Helping Teens Become Successful in Every Area of Life"
http://www.drjerispeaks.com
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