This is one of the most convincing things about Islam – the treatment of women in general

and especially the high position mothers hold in Islam.

Amongst the clearest examples of Islam’s honoring women is the great status of the
mother in Islam. Islam commands kindness, respect and obedience to parents and
specifically emphasizes and gives preference to the mother as shall be shown in this
article. Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or
ideology.
The command to be good to one’s parents begins right from the Qur’an. Allah says:
“Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your
parents…” [Noble Quran 4:36]
The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is
repeated throughout the Qur’an.
“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents.
Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of
contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower
to them the wing of humility and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they
cherished me in childhood.” [Noble Quran 17:23-24]
The great scholar, Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî (d. 1201CE) explained:
To be kind to one’s parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless
it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary
acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to
serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in
front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be
patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)
The Qur’an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to
highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them:
“And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon
travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful
to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”[Noble Quran 31:14]
The renowned exegete, Shaykh Abdur-Rahman As-Sa’di (d. 1956), says about this verse:
{And to your parents} meaning, be kind to your parents, shower on them love, affection
and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them with tender humility, provide for them and
never harm them verbally nor physically. [...] Then, Allah mentions the reason why we
should be kind to our parents, when He says {His mother bore him in travail upon travail},
that is, the mother bore constant suffering; in pain and hardship from the first moment
she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And
{his weaning is for two years}, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds
her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and
care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and
pay them back their rights? (Taysîr al-Karîm ar-Rahmân fî Tafsîr al-Kalâm al-Manân)
The Qur’an repeats its mention of the struggles of the mother in yet another passage:
“And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother
carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation
and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches
maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, “My Lord, enable me to be
grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents
and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me
my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.”
[Noble Quran 46:15]
In connection to this passage, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy
(d. 1976) wrote:
Mother has more rights than father
Although the first part of this verse is a command to do good to both the parents, the
second sentence refers only to the hardships suffered by the mother, because they are
unavoidable, and no child can be born without them. Every mother has to go through the
problems of pregnancy and severe pains of delivery. As against this, it is not necessary for
a father that he suffers any hardship in bringing up and educating the child, if he can
afford to pay somebody else for these services. This is why the Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) has given more rights to the mother than anybody else. According
to a hadîth he has said,
“Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your
father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them.”[Mazhari]
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his
followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one’s parents. The
following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the mother:
A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst
mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: “Your
mother.” The man asked: Then who? So he replied: “Your mother.” The man
then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: “Your mother.” The man
then asked: Then who? So he replied: “Then your father.” (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971
and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)
Commenting on this hadith, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi notes:
This hadith confirms that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence
to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father (Al-Hashimi, The
Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 165)
Likewise, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Abdul-Azîz Ibn Bâz (d. 1999)
comments on this hadith saying:
So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good
treatment than the father. (Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah)
He also writes:
The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is
placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder – responsibilities and
difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important
obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good
companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above
the father.[...] And I have no doubt that my mother – may Allah shower His mercy upon
her – had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me
in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for
what she did for me. (Majmoo’ Fatawa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah)
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said in a famous
narration:
‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ’i,
Sunan Ibn Mâjah]
What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed
the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers.
Shaykh Ibrahîm Ibn Sâlih Al-Mahmud writes:
Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father; because paradise is
under the mother’s feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you
will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you
likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it
to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give
you something. (Al-Mahmoud, How to be kind to your Parents, p.40)
It is related from Talhah ibn Mu’âwiyah as-Salamî who said:
I came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way
of Allah. He asked, “Is your mother alive?” I replied, “Yes.” The Prophet then said: “Cling
to her feet, because paradise is there.” (at-Tabarânî).
Shaykh Nidhaam Sakkijihaa comments:
Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her
because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of
Allah. (Sakkijihaa, Honoring the Parents, p. 52)
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) showed us the importance of
serving one’s parents in the following narration reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud:
I asked the Prophet, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is the best deed?’ He replied
‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘To be
dutiful and kind to one’s parents.’ I further asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He
replied, ‘Jihad in the Allah’s cause. [Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim]
Just as the Prophet said that kindness to one’s parents was of the best deeds, he also said
that disobedience to them was amongst the major sins:
“The greatest sins are to associate partners in worship with Allah, to be
undutiful or unkind to one’s parents, to kill a soul forbidden by Allah and to bear
false witness.” [Sahîh Bukhârî]
Even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Muslim
scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one’s mother. By examining
the conduct and teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct
recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one’s parents.
Their behavior towards their parents shows Muslims how one is to implement the
teachings of the Prophet on honoring parents.
Abdullah Ibn Abbâs (d. 687CE), a companions of the Prophet and a great scholar of Islam,
considered kind treatment of one’s mother to be the best deed for strengthening or
rectifying one’s relation with God. He said:
I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect
towards one’s mother. [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/45]
An even more powerful example is found in the statement of another one of the Prophet’s
companions, Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (d. 692CE), who was also a great scholar of Islam. It has
been related that:
Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka’bah)
while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar, “I am like a
tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid
her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even one contraction!!” [Al-
Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]
SubhânAllah (Glory be to God)! The efforts of a man who carries his mother on his back
while performing tawâf cannot even repay his mother for a single contraction that she
went through for him. Wise indeed was Ibn ‘Umar’s reply to this man to show him how
massively indebted he was to his mother. This is the tremendous value and prestigious
position of mothers in Islam!
Yet another example is found in the following prophecy of Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him):
There will come to you with reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn
‘Âmir of the clan of Murâd from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been
cured of it except for a spot the size of a coin. He has a mother and he has always
treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah, Allah will fulfill his
wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so. [Sahîh
Muslim 16/95]
Indeed, later on ‘Umar ibn al-Khattâb met Uways who was exactly as the Prophet
described, and upon ‘Umar’s request Uways prayed for him. Commenting on this narration,
Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimî writes:
What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his
mother, so that the Prophet recommended his Sahabah [companions] to seek him out and
ask him to pray for them!
All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood,
and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given
importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both. (Al-Hashimi,
The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 167)
So great was the Islamic emphasis on parents, that the Muslims considered a great
opportunity to attain paradise in service to one’s mother. Iyâs Ibn Mu’âwiyah was a
famous Islamic scholar from the second generation of Muslims. When his mother died,
Iyâs Ibn Mu’âwiyah cried. He was asked, “Why do you cry?” He said, “I used to have two
gates open to Paradise, now one of them is closed.”
Zayn al-’Abidîn (d. 713CE) was the great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) and also a renowned scholar. He used to treat his mother with so
much kindness and love as seen in the following narration:
Once he was asked, ‘You are the most kind person to his mother, yet we have
never seen you eating with her from a single dish.’ He replied, ‘I fear that my
hand would take the what her eyes have already seen in the dish, and then I
would be disobeying her’. [At-Tartushi, Birr al-Wâlidayn]
In other words, he was so careful not to disobey his mother that he would even avoid
eating out of the same plate as her; He thought that she would see a morsel and intend to
take it, but before she did he might unknowingly take that same morsel and eat it. This is
how careful he was to obey his mother in the most minute details.
Another early Islamic scholar, Sa’îd Ibn Al-Musayyib (d. 709CE), was asked about the
meaning of the verse “but address them in terms of honor” (17:23). Sa’îd Ibn Al-Musayyib
replied:
It means that you should address them as a servant addresses his master.
Muhammad Ibn Sirîn (d. 729CE) used to speak to his mother in a very soft voice, out of
respect for her. He was also often seen in the company of his mother and looking after
her. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)
All that has preceded shows how the status of mothers – and consequently that of women
– is elevated to the highest position in Islam. The honor Islam has given to mothers is
beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is clear proof of the lofty
status of Muslim Women.