A child’s life inside a Cult

Brought to you by Christina Rice / http://myfreecashmachine.com/Chris2

The Cult known as “The Family" aka “Children of God” and more aliases

Hi, my name is Christina and I would like to tell you about my life and
experience living within "The Family" aka “Children of God” and numerous other
names, and the effect that it had on my life.

In this cult it is a communal living setting and all the children are taught at
home. No one actually has jobs they go out passing out their literature and ask for
donations stating that they are missionaries. They use their children to go out and
ask for donations since people are more willing to donate when they see a child
there. This is a cult that promotes incest, child molestation and prostitution.

This is me in the early years.

This was about the time all the sexual abuse started.
 Growing up in this cult had its good points and bad, more bad than good.
Well actually, the only good thing that I can think of is that we were able to see a
lot of different countries and you always had kids to play with. The bad side to this
was that we were constantly moving and it was hard to maintain any long term
friendships with any of our friends in “The Family.” We had very little access to
anyone outside the cult. Outside friendships were not encouraged and were
frowned upon. Not getting a proper education due to having to raise money for the
group. Having to live by the writings of the group leaders and their interpretation
of the Bible. The doctrines that were shoved down our throats. The screwed up
books and letters that the cult printed about sex, using corny names to describe
sexual activities. Such as “Flirty Fishy” which was a nice way of telling you, it was
OK to be a prostitute, just as long as it was in the name of God and the cult gained
something from it. Sleeping with everyone, even the children was considered to be
ok, they encouraged everyone to experiment with sex. The Family obviously knew
what they were preaching was wrong, because at one time they ordered all their
members to take out certain pages in the books they printed and burned them so
that there wouldn’t be any evidence of what they said was OK to do. However, the
attempted cover-up was a little too late, the damage was already done.

I am the third oldest child from a family of 13 but the oldest of the girls. As
long as I can remember, a man named Gerald Curran lived with our family. He was
like a second father to me and my siblings, and was treated as such.

This is us kids fundraising.

This was taken in Malaysia, one of the many countries we lived in.

At the very young age of 5 or 6, Gerald Curran started to molest me. His
molestation gradually turned to rape as I grew older. Being a young child the only
natural defense I had was to fall into a deep sleep. So my early experiences are
cloudy. Thank God for natural defenses.

I personally was molested by a few other grown men in the cult, the incident
that has left its mark the most, besides the times with (Gerald Curran), took place
in Portugal. One of the grown men that was supposed to be watching the children
in the communal house had all the girls that were around my age at the time (about
7 or 8 yrs. of age) go into a room. He told us to do a sexy dance and instructed us
on how to striptease for him. He said whoever was the sexiest would get a surprise.
Needless to say he picked me as the winner of the dance contest. He took me into a
bedroom to give me my prize. It was no surprise that I wanted he started to molest
me; at the same time he made me do things to him as well. He stopped when
someone opened the door to come look for him (I was so relieved that this whole
ordeal was over). But before he let me out of the room, he told me not to tell
anyone what had happened.

I remember seeing the grownups swapping their sexual partners. The

children would witness this since all the children slept in the same rooms as their
parents. As a child growing up and seeing these things taking place I just knew that
this must be wrong and we shouldn’t be subjected to this type of behavior. But this
was all acceptable and considered normal by “The Family”. The children were told
it was OK and that sex shouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of and this type of
sexual activity was actually encouraged by this cult. I know for a fact to this day
“The Family” still practices partner swapping. My oldest brother (who is married
and has 4 kids of his own) is still in this cult and he was bragging to me and my
husband about all the other women he gets to sleep with and how he has his wife
do the same. How disgusting! I know from experience that one day these poor
children that are witnessing these bizarre sexual extravaganza, will wonder, "If
their father is really their father," not to mention the damage it is doing to them.

My parents and Gerald Curran left the cult as full timers but were still
supporting and reporting to “The Family”. The reason my parents had to leave
“The Family” is that they were told that they couldn’t have Gerald moving around
with them because it didn’t look good to the outsiders. So they chose to leave
instead of breaking up their cozy little threesome (William & Ana Doehler &
Gerald Curran). The threesome worked great for them; they all got something they
wanted from the arrangement. My Dad was getting someone that would pay
attention to his kids and play with them, so that he wouldn’t have to. My Mom was
getting more attention and love from Curran than she was getting from my Dad
(Since he treats my Mom more like a prize then a partner) and Gerald paid more
attention to her and her kids. Let’s not forget Gerald; He got to sleep with my Mom
whenever he wanted to. So my parents left and Gerald went with them.
 Ana Doehler, Gerald Curran, William Doehler, some of my siblings and myself.

At the age of 13 or 14 I started to entering puberty, and I just couldn’t take it

anymore. I wanted Gerald Curran to stop raping me. I kept thinking what if I got
pregnant by this pervert. I had to let someone know what was happening I was
afraid to turn to my parents because of their relationship with Mr. Curran. So I told
Kristy who I knew through “The family” in hope that somehow this information
would get back to my parents so they could stop these attacks. I actually told
Kristy and her sisters (Kristy was on the Dr. Phil show talking about the same cult)
and they told my parents. When my Parents were told my Dad was upset about
what Curran had been doing (even though he admitted that he had a suspicion that
something was going on). My Mom was just crying and didn’t really want to talk
to me. To this day I am not sure if she was crying because of what happened to me
or because now Gerald Curran would have to leave (I am leaning towards him
having to leave). I never felt like my parents gave me their support on this. In fact,
my Dad told me at one time, that it takes two. I couldn’t even believe he said that,
how can it take two when it involves a 5 year old and a man older than your own
father. For reasons like this I feel like my parents forgave Gerald but never forgave
me, for breaking up their little arraignment.

My parents didn’t report him to the authorities; instead they told him that he
had to go, but some time later he asked my parents if he could bring his daughter to
stay with us. My parents asked if it was OK with me and I said it was OK as long
as he didn’t stay. By the time that he got to the house it was late and my parents let
him stay the night, one night turned into weeks and so on, and he started to get into
his old routine, telling my Mom how to raise us. After a while I realized he wasn’t
leaving and my parents weren’t making him.

I wasn’t permitted to talk to his daughter and mention anything about what
had happened. Then again I didn’t have to. She guessed it and somehow knew what
happened. For that reason I always suspected that maybe she experienced the same
thing as I and maybe from the same source. Her Dad! But, this is purely my
opinion. However I truly believe that I was not his only VICTIM.......

Gerald’s daughter and I ran away together (to some friends house) when my
parents found out where we were, we knew that my Dad and Gerald were on their
way to get us. So we had our friends call the police .When the police found out
what had happened the State decided to press charges against Gerald Curran. When
I went home I felt like I was the outcast and some of my siblings told me that they
hated me. They couldn’t believe that I had Gerald go to jail, even though they knew
what he had done (but you have to remember this is the man that was more like a
father to all of us then our own father).

While the State was getting their case together against Gerald Curran, my
parents tried to help him out as much as they could. My Dad even re-laid a
message to me from Gerald’s lawyer. He said that if I would take the stand he
would tear me apart. So of course I was terrified to take the stand and never
showed up for the trial. When Gerald Curran was getting tried he admitted to what
he had done. He said he would admit to what he had done just so I wouldn’t have
to go through any more then what I had already gone through. By doing this he
knew he would get a lesser sentence because in their eyes he was showing remorse
for what he had done. My Dad went to the trial to stand up for him and tried to get
him a lesser conviction. During this time I received a letter from Maria (The
Leader of the cult) telling me that I needed to forgive Gerald and that what he did
wasn’t bad. That Jesus wanted me to forgive him. My parents let me read the letter
and then asked for it back. I believe the letter was destroyed after that by my
parents, who sided with the wishes of the Family. That letter confirmed what I was
already feeling about “The Family” and I didn’t want anything to do with them
anymore.

The whole time Gerald was in prison my parents would go to visit him. They
would take my younger siblings with them. My younger siblings didn’t know why
he was in there because; I wasn’t allowed to tell them what had happened. How
messed up is that? Members of The Family would come over and spend the night
at my parents’ house the day before they would go to see Gerald in prison. My
parents and the members from the cult would stay up all night talking about
Gerald, saying what a great guy he is and I would hear them, since my room was
right above them.

Since all this happened my Dad always brings up his name, never letting me
forget. My Dad recently wrote me a letter telling me a lot of nasty things about
how he felt about me and my husband, but the thing that broke the camel’s back
was when he wrote in the letter:

"Eli (my husband) shouldn’t have any claim in being upset with Josiah
(Gerald’s Family name) because your situation with Josiah is only between you
and Josiah and not Eli, he had nothing to do with it”(William Doehler).

I think my husband has the entire claim in the world to be upset with Gerald,
because my husband cares for me and he knows that it affects me. Therefore it also
affects him and our relationship too. After this letter from my Dad I pretty much
broke all ties with my parents and let some people know why I wasn’t going over
there anymore. When my parents found out that their secret was out they were very
mad and some of my siblings called me up and said that I am going to ruin the
kids’ lives. I tried to explain that by letting the secret out I am helping my siblings
because maybe it will force my parents to choose between “The Family” or their
family. My oldest brother Sam Doehler that is still in the cult wrote a letter on
myconclusion.com stating that there isn’t any abuse in “The Family”, totally
ignoring the fact that his own sister was actually abused while in the cult. My
explanation for this is that if he admits that this happened then he would have to
come to the conclusion that “The Family” isn’t the best place to raise a child. He
would have to forgo his free ride and would have to work for a living. Also he
would have to raise his children on his own.

I know that this cult has hurt our family far beyond repair, even the younger
ones that were never in “The Family “are being affected to this day. The views
from this cult are still being passed down to the children through the literature that
my parents read to them. My siblings are really withdrawn and shy when they are
around anyone that is not part of our family. I truly believe that this is an affect that
takes place when children aren’t permitted to interact and associate with normal
society and are sheltered from the outside world.

My siblings and I are being affected to this day, all because of my parents
being brainwashed by this cult. There are still three of my siblings under the age of
eighteen at home (even though they prefer not to be there). They are constantly
having members from this cult at their home. They don’t see anything wrong with
associating with the members of the cult. They even send at least 10% of all their
income to them even though they are being partially supported by the state. All of
the kids have given my parents the ultimatum of “The Family” or their Family and
they just reply that it is insane that their kids try to tell them what to do in their
lives. So in other words they are choosing the cult over their own kids.

So for the sake of all of us hurt by “The Family” I am getting the word out
there. “The Family” needs to own up to what they have done to all of us, and
someone needs to be held accountable for it, so that these things never ever happen
to another innocent child again. I am trying to move on with my life know but it
always seems to come back. The main thing that helps is not being afraid to talk
openly about what happened. Since my whole life I was told not to talk about
anything that went on in the cult, and was expected to keep it bottled up. I am now
shouting it from the hilltops. Beware of this cult “The Family” aka “Children of
God” and more aliases. If you would like to read more on this cult there is a site
called xfamily.org. They have more info on this cult and the destruction that they
caused in their members’ lives.
 This is my family.

I am now a stay at home Mom to 4 great kids and married to a great

husband, that has been by my side and helps me threw the ongoing effect from this
cult. I work from home and love doing it, I get to stay with my kids and help my
husband financially support our family. Life is so much better and wouldn’t change
a thing.

This is what I do working from home. Take a minute and check it out.
http://myfreecashmachine.com/Chris2
By Christina Rice

Here are some comments posted about this subject when I posted it on
movingon.com. That site has closed since then but exfamily.net has links to the site
still. Most of the comments are from former members of this cult. Movingon.com
was a site that helped all the former members of the cult to move on. We were able
to tell our stories and experiences. It also gave us an opportunity to help each other,
since we are all going through the same thing. Some more than others, but it was
all a result of this cult. There were thousands of members on the site all with
similar stories and experiences.

I am posting exactly what was posted:

1. I'm a cousin of Christina, I remember from when I was a kid: My father

and grandparents would send William & Ana Doehler (Christina's parents)
thousands of dollars to send them around the world with The Family. When she ran
way her parents lied to me and the rest of our family and told us that she was just
being a stupid teen and wanted to get away. Then when the shit was totally hitting
the fan with the DCFS investigating them they tried to get my father to adopt their
kids if anything happened to them. During the trial (I believe) Christina was living
with me, my father and grandmother and she told me what really happened to her. I
know that her parents brought the other kids to see Gerald in jail. Later in years
when I was 16 or 17. I was at my uncles house and they had a "Family party".
There were several different families there spending the night. All the kids were
sleeping on the floors and the parents were in the other room having sex with each
other. At this party the kids were telling me about some of the "Famliy rules", they
said that 16 is the age when (any aged guy) could have sex with girls. As a kid, I
never thought anything strange of what they were doing. I was just happy to get to
see my cousins once in a while. My father always said that they were not doing
God’s work and they were just using people. I didn't believe him till I got older and
started to see it. There is alot more stuff that I know of but this is not my story to
tell!

2. Christina,

Thank you for posting this. The Family continues to maintain that no one
has ever been convicted of any crime involving the sexual abuse of children in its
organization. Experiences such as yours prove they are lying. While the number of
convictions is very low and nowhere near what it should be, there have been a few
cases which need to brought to light.

While it is unfortunate that this creep got such a short sentence and was
released way too early at least he did spend what one can only hope was some very
hard time in prison. From what, I've child molesters are at the bottom of the
shitpile in prison and universally despised...

I found some interesting quotes about this from a Boston Globe story about
a child molester who died in prison:

"There is a pecking order, and child molesters are at the very bottom," said
John Daignault, a forensic psychologist at Harvard Medical School and a former
state prison official. "They are often subjected to violent acts, and to sexual acts, as
a recompense for what they were perceived to have done to others."

"Child molesters are in the lowest category of human being, as far as

prisoners are concerned," said Edith Flynn, professor emeritus of criminal justice
at Northeastern University.
http://www.boston.com/globe/spotlight/abuse/stories5/082503_target.htm

One can only hope that this creep got a small taste of what he deserved
during his all too brief stay in prison.

I've started an article about Gerald Curran at

http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Gerald_P._Curran

Any corrections or additional information would be very welcome.

3. I don't know you and you don't know me, but I do know about your
case, or at least, I'm pretty sure that I'm thinking of the same "Jerald".

I knew several members of the Curran family, and let me tell you, they are a
strange lot! God help them all!!!!! (Not really).

I’m sorry for what happened to you, but at least you can sleep a little bit
better knowing that you were able to put this man behind bars!
 4. I am happy to hear that your abuser was actually convicted. Very
very rare case I am sure.

Interesting to see how the family sent you a letter asking that you forgive
this monster in order to get him off the hook and even had your own parents speak
for him at trial.

Just another example of the abuse that they try to downplay!

5. I'm glad you succeeded in putting that guy in jail, sorry he's not still
there. Do you know if he is still in TF.

I hope you keep that letter from TF. It may come in handy someday.

I applaud your bravery and strength.

6. You are very brave and I wish you all the best.

I am glad one of your abusers served his time-(though not long enough) I bet
he'll be let right back into TF if there is any one left by the time he gets out.
 Every time this happens TF look more and more like the liars they really
are-when they say 'no one has got a conviction'

He was guilty as many more are.

Well done

7. Your article Christina is absolutely disturbing and utterly appalling!

What would make one's parents choose to side with a creep over the good fortune
of their daughter? I could never forgive my parents if they did anything like that. It
looks like you have recovered somewhat and have a beautiful family...I hope you
get the justice you deserve.

8. Of all the stories I've read here, this one rings so true. I wish you so
much courage. Please, just be true to yourself and don't be dissuaded by all their
manipulation and tactics. I know they're your family, but they don't deserve to be. I
wish I could support you in some way. You've been surrounded by crazymakers so
long, trying to cover their own butts at your expense. It's your time now.
Congratulations for getting the creep into prison! Think about the other little girls
you may have spared the loss of their childhoods. I'm so sad for your childhood,
but so glad you are reclaiming your life.

9. In reading your story, I'm infuriated by the total lack of concern your
parents have demonstrated toward their own child.
 How can they value their friends, lovers, and religion above their own child?
How can they place their own lusts and desires above the emotional and physical
pain of their own child?

When I think about someone doing to my daughters what was done to you, I
cannot begin to describe the rage I would feel towards the perpetrator, even if that
person was my only friend in the world. I would die to protect my daughters from
being molested or harmed in any way.

What does it take for a parent to lose that protective instinct for their child?
What demented state must an adult be in to side with someone who causes harm to
their own child?

No excuses your parents could give would justify their callousness toward
your pain. No masses of needy they clothe and feed could ever compensate for the
damage they have allowed to be inflicted on their daughter.

The saddest part in all of this, is that they will likely never have the mental
capacity to comprehend how the actions of their friend were criminal and why they
failed you in supporting him over you.

You have my deepest admiration.

10. Thank you for sharing your story with us. The more of us who speak
out, the less they can deny. I admire your courage even when your parents turned
against you. It's the perfect example of how the Family has turned flesh and blood
parents against their own children. So sad - and sickening.
11. by Pamela Prentiss-Harrison

The night falls gentle upon the earth

but hard within the heart of a terror-filled child.

There is no peace this night

but a sentry-like awareness of

every noise, every movement

within the house.

A silent prayer is taken upon the wings

of the mourning dove

who waters the ground below with its tears

watching puddles form where each drop lands

forming a new ocean of sorrow.

There is no peace this night.

The tender child draws itself

into a tiny ball as if to disappear

... footsteps are heard in the hall

"please no" is whispered, "please go" is prayed

as the doorknob quietly turns.

There is no peace this night.

The dove soars higher, shaking sobs within its breast

penetrating clouds, gliding on wind

seeking its source

looking for the Light

knowing there will be no peace this night.

The shadow falls across

clenched fists, tousled curls,

drawn up limbs, eyes squeezed shut

against the scene about to unfold

scarcely breathing, knowing

there is no peace this night.

Feverishly winging toward

the rainbow of light and celestial destination,

the dove contracts and gasps with the pain

of its little charges' spirit

and delivers the message

To the being of Light & Beauty

who swoops down to grasp the hand of the child

and deliver its pain to another dimension

to be stored until the child is stronger

and able to face the reality of evil on the earth.

The angel cradles her charge,

gently rocking, while tears stream down her face...

 mixing with the silent tears of the child.

The dove quietly sings its grievous song of mourning

for the lost innocence of this precious tot.

I am going to in the future make a more detailed book on this cult. But until
then you can find a lot of info on them at xfamily.org

Please spread the word about this cult, and together we will put a stop to
their destruction of innocent lives. Thank you.

Please take a minute and check out my business opportunity for you.

http://myfreecashmachine.com/Chris2

I dedicate this to my loving husband.

Eli Rice

Thank you for being my biggest support system in my life.

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