FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

Importance of Family Communication for Former Foster Youth in Relation to Life after Aging Out of the Child Welfare System: A Literate Review

Christopher J. Bowen Kent State University

Advanced Interpersonal Communication 45001-001 Prof. Child (Originally wrote) May 9th, 2010 (Re-edited) April 20th, 2011

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

Abstract The significance of this paper is to explain how communication can be a key used to help former and current foster youth have a better chance at a successful adulthood. Parent-child relations should not be limited to biological families and parents alone. Foster parents and child welfare agencies can learn a lot from parent-child concepts to apply in foster youths lives. Also, social service agencies can use communication skills. Therefore, allowing foster children to have a better chance at a successful adulthood. For instance, many college students have safety nets in parents to rely upon after becoming an adult; however, many foster youth do not have this luxury Therefore, this paper addresses how foster parents can fill this role and the child welfare system can assist in this issue as well. This paper also stresses that foster parents that are not committed to the foster youth living in their home, in order to create a parent-child communicative role with their foster youth that is similar to communicative roles between biological families, then they should not take the job. The theories used to explain this process were the attraction theory and affection theory. This is because even though these theories are mostly related to romantic relationships. There are similarities between how romantic relationship attraction and affection are related to parent-child relations and therefore foster parent-foster child relations, too.

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

Importance of Family Communication for Former Foster Youth in Relation to Life after Aging Out of the Child Welfare System: A Literate Review Communication has long been considered an integral part in a childs development throughout their life. However, one must consider the effects that a lack of communication can have on children and their development, especially when children start to reach adulthood. Children who have been raised in a situation with proper parenting tend to have better communication skills when they reach adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). These communication skills affect all kinds of relationships that can range from professional, personal, friendly, romantic and even communication in relation towards their own children in the future. In modern times children can often be found living in an array of many different types of parental situations. These types of situations include: biological families of single parents, dual parents, and kinship to the biological family. Also there are adopted families and foster families. There are many more types of families; however, these styles are the main focus of this paper. To better understand why communication aspects are so important to a childs development, and the effects that communication has on a child once they near adulthood and into their adulthood this paper will be broken down into two main categories that will stress the importance of communication in relation to family and parents. In examining communication we will look at the effects of communication in relation to family and parents and how children fair later in life. Children growing up in a situation with biological family or kin, and adopted families versus children that grow-up in foster style families that have little or no biological family or parent relations, proper parent-child communication settings are lacking.

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

The effects of communication children have can also be related to their education in life as education is considered a key component in communication. However, in the Arizona Republic an article was published to explain the percentage of foster children that have (or will) age out of the child welfare system. The article also explained how youth fair after graduating high school and college. According to the Arizona Republic 87 percent of children that grow-up in a biological family, kin style home or adopted home tend to graduate from high school and 28 of the 87 percent will graduarte from college. However, only 58 percent of foster youth that age out of the child welfare system graduate from high school and only three percent of the 28 percent will graduate from college. Only three percent graduate from college, which is extremely important in relation to foster youth and development into adulthood. Second to family education is the most important aspect for a childs development to have quality communication skills. Although, with only a rate of three percent of foster youth that age out of the child welfare system graduating from college having qualitative communication skills is almost impossible. I can attest too many of the situations in which a foster youth may have communication difficulties. This is due to the fact that, as a former foster child myself who lived in 11 different homes between age eight and 12, and a total of 12 homes before aging out of the child welfare system. I am a current college senior; therefore, I will represent part of the three of percent foster youth that graduate college after ageing out of the child welfare system. Even though my personal experiences are not the main focus of this paper, they have shaped how and why I am so interested in communication studies and interpersonal communication in particular. My personal experiences are also important in my development and interest in doing research on this topic to

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

stress the academic and life importances of communication for younger children in order to have successful adulthoods. The reason these two points are so unique and important to a childs communication in life is how they relate to the children after life. In most biological families or kin families and adopted families children have a presence of their family or kin later in life to rely upon in difficult situations. However, many, if not most, foster youth do not have this family or kin presence after time in their respected situation. Therefore, children that grow-up in this type of situations tend to have to face a world without any support system other than their own (Anderson, 2010). Life for former foster youth tends to push them into the life style of an adult at way too early of an age. This then leads to many troubles from criminal to psychological in the childs life later on (Anderson, 2010). Anderson is currently in the process of creating a documentary film that shows the hardship and life of the American foster child. The documentary is entitled From Place to Place in which the film signifies the constant moving for children in the child welfare system. Having an adult or parent later in life after leaving the child welfare system can give a former foster youth the support they need (Rushlo, 2010). Supportive interactions can have a positive impact on a childs development especially in relation to their own communication. The techniques used to evaluate this information were found through a series of journal articles in the communication fields and social services fields by previous researchers. This is because this paper addresses a combination of how parent-child communication and foster youth transition into adulthood have strong relational similarities. Therefore, this paper addresses a possible new subfield within communication studies or social service studies that has up to this point no primary research that was found. However, because this combination of the two fields

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

has little or no research done to promote research findings secondary sources were the most acceptable means of finding quality material to address these issues. Also, due to the style and approach of this particular paper primary research would be hard to study, if not unobtainable. Also, due to my personal experiences in relation to the situations of this paper it can be seen that using secondary sources is best in order to remove possible biases from the findings. Review of Literature/Findings This paper has been broken down in to two main categories. First this paper will address communication between parents and children in their biological families. Therefore, this information will come from communication research to explain parent-child communication techniques. Within this section the paper will examine how masculine and feminine communication styles will affect how children and parents communicate with their own sex and the opposite sex. Also, this section will explain how children going through puberty will have an abrupt change in their communication styles and need both masculine and feminine communication around them to effectively grow into adulthood. The second main section of this paper will examine how the research on parent-child communication within biological families can be applied to foster youth. Also, this section will explain the different styles of foster youth living arrangements, the importance of addressing foster parent-foster child communication issues, and explaining how parent-child (foster parentfoster child) communication have profound effects on how foster youth develop in adulthood. A small third section will address how the combination of these two fields (communication studies and social service studies) into a new subfield within either or both existing fields is needed in order to address the communication issues that plague foster youth before they transition into adulthood. Also, this section explains that this new subfield would be

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

a valued asset to social service agencies and future or current foster parents to address bettering their programs and to help foster youth that are aging out of the child welfare system. Importance of communication in biological families Many college students that attend college after high school often have troubles that they face within their first years of school. Parents and family are usually a support system that these college students have to rely upon in tough times (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Communication between parents and children after leaving the home is extremely important in the development of a childs life as they approach adulthood. In a study according to Williams and Hughes (2005), it was found that two main types of communication exist in families, socio-oriented communication and content-oriented communication. Socio-oriented communication is communication that is interpersonally related, encourages communication within the family, and helps to create a positive and stable family atmosphere. Concept-oriented communication is communication that is negative to the family atmosphere, creates family separations, and cause independence within the family to an unhealthy degree (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Children often go to their parents for assistance with a problem and either look for help or validation in how they are approaching the problem (Dandekar, 1990). Having validated communication can be helpful to children as it allows the child to distinguish between positive and negative events in their life (Williams & Hughes, 2005; Dandekar, 1990). Socio-oriented communication brings these aspects of positive family communication and validation that most children seek from their parents. Therefore, children who grow-up in a socio-oriented communication setting tend to communicate in that same manner later in adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). A child that grows up in a conceot-oriented communication style will reflect that style of communication as they reach adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). The significance of

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

these two styles of communication on children in relation to their families and adult life show how children expect communication to be later in their life. Communication within the family also develops around gender and sex communication styles. This is due to the fact that masculine and feminine communication has different approaches in how topics are addressed. This holds true in communication with children and parents in the family setting. Communication between children and parents of the opposite sex play major roles in the development of communication in a childs life. If one style is absent it will have profound effects on how children develop their communication skills. Gender of both parents and children plays a major role in communication within the family. In a survey conducted on children and parents in relation to the behavior and punishments. Both male and female children are more comfortable to communicating with their mother if they feel that they have not done something wrong or are in trouble (Luk, Farhat, Innate, & Simmons-Morton, 2009). Furthermore, both male and female children are more comfortable communicating with their father about future aspirations and goals; although, this was much higher for daughters. Daughters tended to communicate more with their mothers for contemporary issues (Luk et al., 2009). Communication and gender have a major impact on what specific issues children want to communicate with their parents. What children communicate with parents based on their own gender as well as their parents gender. Puberty is the first stage in which children begin to adjust to the changes in a lifelong adjustment to their body; however, puberty is not just physical changes it is psychological and effect how individuals communicate with each other. As a child goes through puberty; however, communication with the parent of the opposite sex is important as well. Communication with the parent of the same sex as the child is of high value. A childs need for communication or

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

perceived lack of need for communication (children going through puberty may push away from communication with parents; although, they still actually want it) can often be caused by puberty. In a study done on children going through puberty it was found that male children tend to distance themselves from their parents as opposed to female children becoming closer to their parents but appearing to distance themselves at the same time. (Steinberg, 1988). It was concluded in the survey that mothers were extremely important to a childs and adolecents development. However; communication according to the children seems to have importance after childhood with their father, but was not studied. (Steinberg, 1988). In relation to gender, puberty and communication are effected by life changes as well as gender norms in society and effect how children communicate with their parents and family. Parent-Child Communication and Health Children have a stronger desire to communicate with their parents when there are major health issues in the family (such as cancer). (Huzing, Visser, Van Der Graaf, Hockstra, & Hockstra-Weebers, 2005). This particular study focused on parents with cancer and how their children communicate with them. Female children have the strongest desire to communicate with their parents if a parent had cancer. However, parents would redirect the communication on to a new topic or cease communication with their children completely (Huzing et al., 2005). Adolescent children had a stronger desire to communicate with their parents, if the parent has cancer, compared to younger children. Therefore, suggesting that parents who have health issues withdrawal from communication with their children at one of the most critical times of communication development in their life. Adolescent children explained how this lack of communication affected their life in school, work, friends and in romantic relationships (Huzing et al., 2005).

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

10

Importance of Communication for Foster Youth in Non-biological families The core focus of this paper is to explain the importance of communication differences between those children who have grown up in foster homes as opposed to those children that have grown up in biological families. After discussing above the importance of communication in biological families and the profound effect that it has on the development of children throughout their childhood, it can be said that foster youth exert the same need for this style of communication. However, with very little or no biological family to rely upon, foster youth are forced to learn their communication tactics from foster families (Harden, 2004). Foster parents have extreme pressure put on them to live up to this communicative role that is desired by the foster youth in their home. Sometimes the safety and stability of the children and parents involved in the child welfare system is put to the test and communication can help correct this issue (Harden, 2004). Safety and stability in the home derives from conflict management by the family in relation to parent-child communication (Brown, Fitzgerald, Shipman, & Schneider, 2007; Harden, 2004). In a study conducted to better understand conflict management between those families that have positive conflict managing skills versus those families that do not have efficient conflict managing skills, it was found that children learn their conflict management skills from those in the household with them, in particular the parents (Brown et al., 2007). Mothers were hypothesized to be more likely to initiate communication if conflict arises in the home, and this hypothesis was confirmed by the study. The study focused on how mothers and children manage conflict in their home and that nearly 40 percent of mothers initiated a conversation centered on conflict management where less than 30 percent of children would initiate a conversation about conflict management (Brown et al., 2007). Families in which

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

11

parents initiated communication in relation to conflict, as opposed to children initiating the conversation produced better family functioning (Brown et al., 2007). This in turn, promotes more safety and stability in the family (Harden, 2004). Suggesting from evidence found in the study those families that have parental communication in relation to conflict in the home have positive parent-child communication skills. Types of Foster Living Arrangements Treatment Foster Care, or TFC, is considered the most extreme situation that children are placed in within the child welfare system. Also, TFC is the largest subdivision of the child welfare system in the world (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). Because this is a particularly new situation of concern within the child welfare system, much research has not been done on TFC in relation to why many children end up in this situation and what needs to be done in order to help the children lead a normal life style. What has been found is that those children placed in these situations with extreme wishes against their own will tend to develop many psychological problems that have a profound effect on their adulthood life after leaving the child welfare system (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). Although, TFC has benefited many children in returning to their parents or being adopted and, in extreme cases, staying in long-term foster care. Returning to their parent is the most important goal of the child welfare system. However, having the children leave TFC and be adopted or put in a traditional foster home for long-term is a step in the correct direction (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). In relation to TFC, the child welfare system needs to find better opportunities to address the issue of children in the child welfare system and how to better satisfy their communicative needs, whether these needs be fulfilled by a biological parent or family member (which is highly proffered), an adoptive parent, or a long-term foster home in which the child feels comfortable

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

12

in. In 2001 it was found that nearly 47 percent of children in the child welfare system were of age 11, but under age 16 (Massinga & Pecora, 2004), suggesting that this (11 to 16 age group) is the highest growing age range in the child welfare system and, as according to Weinberg, L., Weinberg, C., & Shea, (1997), the largest for concern due to fact that those children in the child welfare system at this stage in their life are in the mist of their adolescent years. Thus, being one of the most crucial times in their childhood. The goals that the child welfare system has strived to create are programs that are designed to interconnect children from the child welfare system in their own situation as well as create programs designed to help youth after they have aged out of the system and began their adult life (Massinga & Pecora, 2004). However, the fact that older children need permanency, stability, and a forever family (Massinga & Pecora, 2004, p. 1 papa. 2) shows the importance of having a connection to someone or something (rather than a group or organization) after a youth leaves the child welfare system. Whether this be with the system itself, a former foster parent staying in close contact, or biological family re-intervening in the youths life after a set time. Depending of the style of foster home a child grows-up in they may have more complex issues with communication that can later affect their adult life (Orme & Butler, 2001). In a study (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004) three main types of foster care styles were used; traditional foster homes, kinship foster homes (adopted homes), and TFC homes (group homes). The largest numbers of foster youth live in traditional foster homes totaling of 60 percent of those living with non-biological parents. The second largest number was those foster youth living in TFC homes at 30 percent, thus leaving only ten percent of foster youth living with kin or becoming adopted. Of the 90 percent of foster youth living in TFC or traditional foster care, only 40 percent are

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

13

reunited with their biological family (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). Of the 60 percent living in traditional foster care, 30 percent are European-American and 33 percent are AfricanAmerican. In TFC, 18 percent are African-American and 12 percent are European-American. Therefore, it can be concluded that those foster children of the African-American community represent a total of 51 percent of all children not living with biological parent or kinship/adopted style foster care. 42 percent of European-American foster children live in traditional and TFC (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). This is important as the African-American population in the United States is much less than the European-American population in the United States. Due to the unnatural living situation in which foster children grow-up in, they tend to not have the advantage of a consistent parental figure helping them with conflict (Doelling and Johnson, 1990). This forces foster youth to manage conflict on their own which seriously hinders their communication skills (Brown et al., 2007). However, many foster parents misconceive what their duties as a foster parent are. This can be from lack of training (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004) or lack of commitment on the role of being a foster parent (Doelling and Johnson, 1990). It is important to understand this because both foster mothers and foster fathers play an important role in a foster youths communicative development, emotional development, and temperamental behaviors (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). It can be said that foster parents that do not understand the burden of being a parent to foster youth and working with foster youth to better manage conflict and communication are causing harm to both themselves and the foster youth they care for. Multiple placement foster youth and communication. As important as communication is to foster youth and their development, it can be said that this holds true to those foster youth that lived in multiple placement situations, if not more important. In a survey done by

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

14

researchers, it was found that those former foster youth that lived in five or more traditional placement style homes were found to have the most economic, parental, and schooling problems later in their adult life. Whereas youth that aged out of the child welfare system that were in five or less placements seemed to have a much higher success rate in economic, parental, and schooling after leaving the child welfare system (Keller, Crusick & Courtney, 2007). Foster youth have an extreme desire and demand for parental style communication in their foster homes, even if they seem not to show this desire for parental communication(Gardner, 1996). Furthermore, certain countries prefer reunification as opposed to long-term foster care or adoption for foster children. This is due to the psychological damage that is a result that foster youth develop from being in the child welfare system for so long. Also when asked, foster youth in the child welfare system stated that they did not like being in the system and felt uncomfortable being away from their families. However, it was found in this survey that the number of foster youth in the child welfare system is increasing and bring arise to the issue of how to better handle the situation of keeping children with their biological families (Gardner, 1996). The first step often taken in the reunification process is having visitation with both the biological parents and children. These visitations often have different venues and degrees of security depending upon certain situations addressed by specific cases in the child welfare system (Haight, Kagle & Black, 2003). Also, children tend to feed upon the positive relationships with their parents or biological families for stress releases and life troubling situations (Haight, Kagle & Black, 2003). Therefore, it can be understood that children and parents rely upon communication from one another to survive in life in a non-stressful manner. This is not to say that in certain instances children and parents would benefit more from being

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

15

separated, but rather to note that the majority of children and parents do benefit more from communication with biological family. According to Haight, Kagle and Black (2003), in all social and cultural groups, children and primary caregivers develop affective bonds and organized behaviors for relating in times of stress. These relationships emerge over time and in conjunction with childrens and caregivers experiences (p. 3 para 2). This quote does not however suggest in any way that a primary care giver must be a biological parent or family member. This is possible because the child will select those to whom they feel closest to as a primary care giver. If this is the case, when a child places a foster parent they are living with in the role as their primary caregiver, but the foster parent ceases to accept this role or is unaware of this role being place upon them, they will most likely not react to the situation and act as primary care giver. In turn, the child may feel rejected and therefore possibly experience solitude of oneself in a situation that may later affect the rest of their life. This is a serious issue and, as the growing number of foster youth in the child welfare system increases, this issue must become more important and addressed or prevented at earlier stages in a childs life. Effects Communication has on Foster Youth after Aging Out of the System It has often been said that a childs development in communication at a younger age sets the foundation of their communication as adults. After examining the importance of communication in biological families and the need for communication in foster families it was found that communication is of extreme importance in a childs development to becoming a successful adult (Weinberg, L., Weinberg, C., & Shea, 1997). As noted above in this paper, most children from biological families have the parents and kin to use for assistance in life

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

16

when becoming a young adult. However, most foster children that age out of the system do not have this support system. In a study conducted in the Wisconsin area on youth that aged out of the system after 18 months and adults that aged out of the system after five years, the effects of not having a parental or family safety net were extremely prevalent (Courtney, Piliavin, Grogan-Kaylor, Nesmith, 2001). Of those former foster youth that aged out of the system after 18 months nearly all reported some amount of need for communicative help. Most of the children after 18 months desired some sort of group or individual to fill the role of a traditional parent to communicate with (Courtney et al., 2001). Those children that had been aged out of the system for roughly five years experienced the same kind of troubles as those from the 18 month study. However, some also suffered from psychological disorders and attachment disorders that were much higher than when they were in the child welfare system (Courtney et al., 2001). The study also looked at the difference in how race and gender played a role in the development of adult life after leaving the child welfare system. African-Americans and European-Americans were compared as well as males and females (Courtney et al., 2001). Most of the children that were in a poverty state after leaving the child welfare system were AfricanAmericans and females. This was due to the still possible racial problems in American society and that most women would have children to fulfill their attachment loss after leaving the child welfare system (Courtney et al., 2001; Orme & Butler, 2001). The number of foster home placements and length of time were also examined to better understand how to help foster children transition to adulthood and aging out of the systems (Keller, Crusick & Courtney, 2007). In a study conducted on former foster youth, it was found that the majority of foster youth having trouble adjusting to life after aging out of the system

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

17

lived in five or more foster home placements. This is significant because it suggests that children that move from foster home placement to foster home placement have little time to adapt and understand the family structure of a home (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Therefore, hindering the childs ability to learn effective communication skills form their foster parents (Brown et al., 2007). Attachment styles in former foster youth take on a unique perspective. That is to say because of former foster youth having a lack of continuous parental support throughout the younger years of their life, they will tend to seek to fulfill these needs later in their adulthood (Iwaniee & Sneddon, 2001). In a follow-up study conducted 20 years after foster youth left the child welfare system, individuals were asked to complete a survey similar to the one before leaving the child welfare system. The survey examined whether the former foster youth had developed any physical or mental illnesses that were associated with living in the child welfare system that they had not developed before leaving the child welfare system (Iwaniee & Sneddon, 2001). Developing and Sustaining a new style of the Child Welfare System One thing that the child welfare system does not do is help a former foster youth reconnect with biological family after leaving the child welfare system. In essence, making an attempt to ask the former foster youth if they wish to have any reconnected ties with their biological family after leaving the child welfare system is appropriate. This is important because legally the youth is no longer under the custody of the state in most cases, but now have custody of themselves as an adult. However, if the child welfare system believes that the youth has no desire to reconnect with their biological family, or believe it is in the best interest of the youth to

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

18

remain away from the biological family, it would be understandable to not make an attempt to reconnect youth with their biological family. If it is not possible for the former foster youth and their biological family to have contact after the foster youth leaves the child welfare system, something or someone must replace this role. It is possible after having a strong connection with their former foster family that the former foster youth may want to use this as a family mechanism after aging out of the child welfare system. Foster parents must realize this when they decide to take upon the burden of allowing a foster youth into their home (when taking a child they must plan to possibly have that child in their home until they reach 18) (Sanchirico & Jablonka, 2000). As a foster parent, there is the possibility that a foster youth may become more attached to the foster family over time rather than their own biological family. Adopted parents also fall into the situation that suggest them to remain close to their child. When trained adopted parents are explained to that once they take on the burden of becoming a foster parent their role as foster parents are to be committed to their new child forever as if the child were their own biological child (Stams, Juffer & Van Ijzendoorn, 2002). However, many adopted parents latter realize that maybe the child is not a correct fit for their home, but this does not mean they should give up on the child. Biological children cannot be traded in because they do not fit in the home and neither should foster youth. Discussion The importance of communication for all children, as well as foster youth, when growing up in the home has been made significant in this paper. To prove this, many theories can be applied for explanation. However, three in particular have the most significance for the direction of this work; attraction theory, affection exchange theory, and relational framing theory.

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

19

Attachment theory is the most noticeable and many of the researchers have pointed out in their studies the significance of this theory towards their own work. Attraction theory is a communication theory that suggests individuals communicate because they have or desire a sense of attraction to other individuals (Guerrero, 2008). Even though this theory is usually directed to relationships or significant others, it can also apply to attraction for other purposes. One of those purposes is parent-child attraction and, in relation to foster parents and foster youth; this theory could suggest that foster youth seek communication with parents whether they are biological, adopted, or foster to fulfill a need of attraction. If youth do not fulfill this need, they may possibly suffer from communication problems and, in turn, could develop psychological or communicative deficiencies as adults. Attachment theory is described as a theory that suggest all humans have needs that must be fulfilled and that all humans seek someone or a group to communicate with to fulfill these needs. Children need more fulfillment in this area as they are learning how to develop their mind and body to be prepared for a successful life. Therefore, children tend to desire more attachment than adults do. However, if children do not fulfill this need when they are younger they are more likely to continue to seek fulfillment later in life as adults. In essence, attachment theory exists in relation to communication and parent-child relations due to affection theory. For instance, if a potential foster parent has affection towards helping youth without a family and want to be a family for them that foster parent would need to create an exchange with the youth in relation to the setting. The foster parent will then, when around the foster youth for an extended time, become attached to them in a parental manner. Thus, creating the role as their parent, the same applies with biological parents and adoptive parents. Foster youth suffer from this in many ways. If parents do not do this, then foster youth

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

20

tend to feel as if they are not wanted and will seek to find their affection elsewhere. Foster parent also must understand that having a child in their home that needs an increased amount of affection, they will have to produce affection at a much higher rate. Examples of this could be telling the child how well they have done on something versus negative feedback. This may come in the form of doing a chore and saying this looks really clean. The child will remember this and try to recreate it in the future. When an individual feels that they are not attached enough in the world, they feel if they are separate from the world, almost like being in a bubble. However, an individual can have too much attachment towards another person. Each individual has different needs and attachment wants, some more than others. Parents must pay attention to this and look to understand the amount of attachment their child may need. As a former foster youth, I suffer from this all the time. Since, as a child my family was not there for me, I tend to want others to be there for me now. Examples of this can be friends and romantic partners. In fact, this caused problems in my past relationship as I desired more attachment and closeness then my partner did. However, they felt guilty leaving me due to their understanding of my needs, but felt it was best for the both of us. Affection exchange theory, suggests that individuals communicate in order to fulfill a need of affection to an individual. This is similar to attachment theory but not necessarily as strong (Floyd, Judd & Hesse, 2001). Affection is seen in an array of different ways. Verbally it is in the form of saying I love you to a partner. Non-verbally, it is holding hands or kissing a partner. Indirectly it is doing something for a partner that you would not normally do; for instance washing dishes even though you hate to wash them.

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

21

As a former foster youth, this was probably the most significant part of my life I felt missing. Ironically, I and my former foster mother are very close now, which came to me at first in an odd light. However, I tried to look at the situation from her perspective and found that it may be possible that most foster parents try not to get attached to their foster youth because if the child leaves due to replacement with parents or adoption they feel as if they lost one of their own children. However, in my situation after aging out of the system, I continue to go back to my former foster home on my own accord. I believe that my foster mother noticed this as me wanting to remain a part of her life; therefore she felt more at ease to have attachment to me and more affection towards me. Sometime she seems to be more of a mother to me then to her own biological children (at least from my vantage point). Also, having my foster mother lose her husband to cancer and her own biological children being older and living own their own, she has the opportunity to be closer to me. While living in her home I was the youngest child. So, it seems as if I have taken the baby role in my family. A third theory that can help explain foster youth and communication is known as the relational framing theory. This theory states that individuals interpret messages as dominantsubmissive or afflictive-disafflictive (Soloman, & McLaren, 2008). Therefore, foster youth will happen to communicate for dominate or submissive relational reasons, but also afflictive or disafflictive reason. Essentially children communicate to create relational meaning with their surroundings and if parent or foster parent does not effectively communicate with children in their home the child may develop communication problems. The most interesting item that I found in this paper and from the research was learning the pressure put on the child welfare system, as the need for more developed plans and foster homes become an increasing frequency due to the increase of youth in the child welfare system.

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

22

However, I believe that this field has not gotten as much attention as it deserves, but it has begun to become more significant within the last decade due to the increase of youth in the child welfare system.

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

23

References Anderson, M. (2010, January 28). Documentary examines problems that confront foster children who age out. Retrieved from http://www.gtrnews.com/greater-tulsa-reporter/4915/documentary-examinesproblems-that-confront-foster-children-who-age-outBrown, A. M., Fitzgerald, M. M., Shipman, K., & Schneider, R. (2007). Childrens expectat ions of parent-child communicat ion following interparental conflict: Do parents talk to children about conflict? J Fam Viol, 22, 407-412. doi: 10.1007/108960079095 Chipungu, S. S., & Bent-Goodley, T. B. (2004). Meeting the challenges of contemporary foster care. The Future of Children, 14(1), 75-93. Courtney, M. E., Piliavin, L., Grogan-Kaylor, A., & Nesmit h, A. (2001). Foster youth transit ions to adulthood: A longitudinal view of youth leaving care. Child Welfare League of America, 80, 685-717. Dandekar, N. (1990). Fostering honest y in communicat ion between parent and child in the setting of family mediat ion. Florida Communication Journal, 18(2), 915. Doelling, J. L., & Johnson, J. H., (1990). Predict ing success in foster placement: The contribut ion of parent-child temperament characterist ics. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 60(4), 585-593. Fahert y, J. (2010, January 31). Mentors prove a savior for foster children. The Arizona Republic. Retrieved from http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2010/01/ 31/20100131 foster0131.html?source=nletter-news

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

24

Flo yd, K., Judd, J., & Hessr, C. (2001). Affect ion exchange theory. In L.A. Baxter & D.O. Brait hwait e (Ed.), Engaging theories in interpersonal communication: Multiple perspectives (pp. 295-307) Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Gardner, H. (1996). The concept of family: Percept ions of children in family foster care. Children Welfare, 75(2), 161-182. Haight, W. L., Kagle, J. D., & Black, J. E. (2003). Understanding and supporting parent-child relat ionships during foster care visits: Attachment theory and research. Social Work, 48(2), 195-207. Harrigan, S., & Nikolopoulos, T. P. (2002). Parent interact ion course in order to enhance communicat ion skills between parents and children following pediatric cochlear implantation. Interpersonal Journal of Pediatric Otorhinolarynology, 66, 161-166. Huzinga, G. A., Visser, A., Van Der Graaf, W. T. A., Hockstra, H. J., & HoekstraWeebers, J. E. H. M. (2005). The qualit y of communicat ion between parents and adolescent children in the case of parental cancer. Annuals of Oncology, 16, 1956-1961. Iwaniec, D., & Sneddon, H. (2001). Attachment st yle in adult s who failed to thrive as children: Outcomes of a 20 year follow-up study of factors influencing maint enance of change in attachment st yle. British Journal of Social Work, 31, 179-195. doi: 10.1093/bjsw/31.2.17 Keller, T. E., Cusick, G. R., & Courtney, M. E. (2007). Approaching the transit io n

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

25

to adulthood: Dist inct ive profiles of adolescents aging out of the child welfare system. Social Service Review, 453-484. doi: 10.1086/519536 Lazarz, A. (2010, January 20). What Happens when foster care children "age out?". Retrieved from http://centralny. ynn.com/content/top_stories/493743/whathappens-when-foster-care-children--age-out--/ Luk, J. W., Farhat, T., Iannotti, R. J., Simmons-Morton, B. G. (2009). Parent-child communicat ion and substance use amoung adolescents: Do father and mother communicat ion play a different role for sons and daughters? Addictive Behaviors, 1-6. Marmorstein, N. R., & Iacono, W. G. (2004). Major depression and conduct disorder in youth: Associat ions wit h parental psychology and parent-child conflict. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 45(2), 377-386. doi: 10.1111/j.1469-7610.2004.00228 Massinga, R., & Pecora, P. T. (2004). Providing better opportunit ies for older children in the child welfare system. The Future of Children, 14(1), 151-173. Orme, J. G., & Buehler, C. (2001). Foster family characterist ics and behavioral and emotional problems of foster children: A narrative review. Family Relations, 50(1), 3-15. Petronio, S., & Durham, W. T. (2008). Attachment theory. In L.A. Baxter & D.O. Brait hwait e (Ed.), Engaging theories in interpersonal communication: Multiple perspectives (pp. 295-307) Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Redding, R. E., Fried, C., & Brit ner, P. A. (2000). Predictors of placement

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

26

outcomes in treatment foster care: Implicat ions for foster parent select ion and service delivery. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 9(4), 425-447. doi: 10.1023/A:10094188809133 Sanchirico, A., & Jablonka, K. (2000). Keeping foster children connected to their bio logical parents: The impact of foster parent training and support. Child and Adolescent social work Journal, 17, 185-203. doi: 10.1023/A:1007583813448 Solo mon, D. H., & McLaren, R. M. (2008) Relat ional framing theory. In L.A. Baxter & D.O. Braithwaite (Ed.), Engaging theories in interpersonal communication: Multiple perspectives (pp. 103-115). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Stams, G-J. J. M., Juffer, F., & Van Ijzendoorn, M. H. (2002). Maternal sensit ivit y, infant attachment, and temperament in early childhood predict adjust ment in middle childhood: The case of adopted children and their biologically unrelated parents. Developmental Psychology, 38(5), 806-821. doi: 10.1037/0012-1649.38.5.806 Steinberg, L. (1988). Reciprocal relat ion between parent-child distance and puberal maturat ion. Developmental Psychology, 24(1), 122-128. doi: 10.37/00121649.24.1.122 Weinberg, L. A., Weinberg, C., & Shea, N. A. (1997). Advocacys role in ident ifying dysfunct ions in agencies serving abused and neglected children. Child Malreatment, 2, 212-225. doi: 10.1177/1077559597002003004 Williams, D. E., Hughes, P. C. (2005). Family communicat ion patterns and

FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION

27

compet itor satisfact ion: A nat ional survey of collegiate forensics participants. Argumentation and Advocacy, 42(1), 19-25.