“The Blessed Virgin who has the mastery of hearts drew him with her chaste eyes,

and the perfume of her garments, and her sweet hymns.” 1

“Now therefore, ye children, hear me: Blessed are they that keep my ways. Hear instruction and
be wise, and refuse it not. Blessed is the man that heareth me, and that watcheth daily at my
gates, and waiteth at the posts of my doors. He that shall find me, shall find life, and shall have
salvation from the Lord: But he that shall sin against me, shall hurt his own soul. All that hate me
love death.” 2

1. Retreat Companion For Priests By: Fr. Francis P. Havey, S.S. Chap. III Two Types of Priests, Section II: The Priest
Who Lives to Christ
2. Proverbs 8:32-36

1
 My Conversion To Catholicism:
The Fruits of Mary, The Mother of God, Mistress and Queen of My Heart

By: Phil Friedl (Time Frame: 2005 – Present)

Only A Very Small Summary Of My Wretchedness, My Ignorance, And My Nothingness

A Dedication, in honor, and for the Glory and Love of The Blessed Trinity, The Holy Mother of God,
The Holy Mother Church,The nine choirs of Angels, The Saints, The Poor Souls in Purgatory, and
for the salvation of souls.

Outside the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church headed by Pope Michael there is no
salvation!

"Men are like children born in slavery, who laugh, and play, and enjoy themselves, as if they were
free. It is only the saints, who know the emptiness of the joys of earth, who lament over the
misery of sin." - Self Abandonment To Divine Providence

“All these monsters only come into the world to exercise the courage of the children of God, and
when they have learned enough, God rewards them with the pleasure of killing the monster and
calls new athletes to the battlefield. And so this life is a continual spectacle which makes the joy
of heaven, and is the training of the saints on earth and the confusion of hell. Thus, all that is
opposed to God's Order does but result in making it more adorable. All who freely serve iniquity
become the slaves of justice, and the divine action builds the Heavenly Jerusalem with the ruins
of Babylon.” - Self Abandonment To Divine Providence

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I submit to the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church's teachings and doctrines. If I should stray
in this writing I pray that my error will be corrected. By the grace of God I hope that I did not stray
off the path. I submit myself to the current Bishop of Rome, Pope Michael.

“And as Canon 1827 states: He who has a presumption of law in his favor is freed from the
burden of proof, which is thus shifted to his opponent; if the latter cannot prove that the
presumption failed...the judge must render sentence in favor of the one on whose side the
presumption stands." 3

Table of Contents
Calmness And Peacefulness Date around 2005-2006
The Dream Of The Blessed Mother Fall 2006
Vocation To The Priesthood Fall 2006
The Love of the Holy Eucharist Spring of 2007
The Brown Scapular Spring of 2007
Our Lady Of Fatima Spring of 2007
Rain Spring of 2007
Tempted By The Devil And Evil Spirits Spring 2007
The Beginning Of A New Life Spring of 2007
The Transition After College Spring – Summer of 2007
What I Believe To Be A Battle With Devils 7 May 2007
Tears and Comfort 10 May 2007
Awakening and of Despair...Again Summer 2007
Finding Pope Michael Summer - Fall 2007
My Guardian Angel Fall 2007
Thy Will Be Done Fall 2007
Thy Will Be Done Second Time Fall 2007
A Dream Ave Maria Fall 2007
My Mother's Dream and Her Cell Phone December 2007
Being Sick 17 December 2007
Satan In Control Fall of 2007 - Spring of 2008
Testing of My Vocation 30 January 2008
Longing for the Holy Eucharist Summer of 2008
Fork in the Road May 2008
Agony 20 June 2008
Vision of Lucifer Night of 12 July – 13 July 2008
Take up the Standard of the Cross 14 July 2008
Dream of My Grandmother 2004-2005 Possibly
Conclusion Now

3. Will the Catholic Church Survive The Twentieth Century?

3
Prologue:
This paper was written in parts. This had taken me over three years to write, and it still
continues. One has to realize that I have been raised in the Norvus Ordo sect (headed by Anti
Pope Benedict XVI) since birth. Which I now know to be heretical and a dangerous sect. As I look
back on my life I believe that am following the guidance of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I have been
wearing the Brown Scapular in her honor. I have faith that She is leading me to Her Son and to
the Holy Mother Church. I put quotes around “Catholic” because I am not a true practicing
Catholic yet and it quotations pertains to the heretical Norvus Ordo ideals, I put an emphasis on
“church” because it is there that they have Novus Ordo (New Order) masses (sacrifice to Satan),
and not the sacrifice of the Mass. I am trying to keep the highest level of accuracy and detail to
these stories so the reader can understand with a three dimensional comprehension of what I
have gone through, but I am liable to mistakes. But being human we are definitely not perfect,
that is why Our Lord and Our Blessed Mother are there for us, to assist us at our darkest hours. I
talk about things of the supernatural and for those whom have not experienced being around
such disturbances, from my opinion they do exist. Just because you cannot recognize with the
five senses that God has given you, does not mean that they are not there. Not being able to
explain it with our insignificant brains and sciences, still does not justify nor strengthen your
position. If one is this closed minded, please I beg you to open your mind. For there is so much
pure evil that God has not shown us because He is very merciful to us. God be praised in that
alone. These are a summation of the supernatural events that have happened in my life (not all
are included). Events that make words almost render to be useless. I will do my best to put a
break in the paper by putting connection points. It might show the reader that the events that are
happening to me are falling to place together. I also use the connection points to bring proof
from good Catholic sources that some events in my life are similar to other people in the past.
Lastly, my grammar skills are not the greatest, and may contain mistakes, despite the number of
times reviewing this paper.

Introduction:
Since senior year high school in 2005 is when I truly became more involved in the
“Catholic” religion. Well in the beginning, when I started to become devoted to the “Catholic”
faith is when both my uncle and grandmother died within about a year from one another. My
uncle died in my junior year of high school and my grandmother died the following year. And I
can recall one night specifically I began to think about the circle of life and knowing that my
parents are next and then I. I became utterly afraid knowing that my parents have been my
source of security blanket. Moreover, knowing in time that they will leave this world as well as I
will. And this unknowingness and being afraid overwhelmed me. I also was trying to discover/re-
light the flame to my “Catholic” faith. I never was this afraid or concerned before. I was raised
“Catholic,” but it was to an extent of mother saying it is time to go to “church” and my brother
and I were always stating, “do we have to?” I began wearing the brown scapular after my
grandmother gave it to me (a year or two before she died). It took me weeks before I actually put
it on. I don’t know why. This introduction is the actual content of what I was thinking about for my
next story.

Calmness And Peacefulness: Date around 2005-2006

I was laying on the couch at home trying to falling asleep one late night somewhere
between 12-1am around the year 2005-2006 . I asked God, Blessed Mother, Jesus or anyone up
there to help me or send a sign and comfort me. I asked God to keep me at peace and to follow

4
His way. I told Him that I am willing to put my life into His hands. (In other words, “be it done to
me according to thy word”4). And then while I was talking in my head about something, all of a
sudden, to explain what I felt is similar to Goosebumps except it wasn't spooky or weird, it was a
very intense feeling of calmness and peace. It was also similar to having your body completely
under water except your mouth, and your mouth was barely on the surface just gasping for air. It
was so great that I began to cry with tears constantly running down my face. And I just couldn't
believe what happened. After that day from then on I have had that same calmness and feelings,
but however in different intensities. But I had to say the following words in my head, God, Lord,
Heavenly Father, Jesus, Merciful Jesus, Heavenly Mother, and Blessed Mother, or any other
Honorary title. And as time grew on my faith did too. And now the sensation of peace and
calmness has come to a point now were I do not have to think any of the words God, Jesus, and
Blessed Mother (etc) in my head, I can simply close my eyes, and feel this calmness, again in
different intensities. It also happens randomly as well. I think there has only been two times were
it was so intense that I could almost not breathe. Words can never describe what I had and have
felt since that day.

The Dream Of The Blessed Mother: Fall 2006

Setting: Two people sitting in a room talking (including me I was observing in a corner)
Woman: What I believe to be a representation of the Blessed Mother
Guy: What I believe to be a representation of the devil
Blessed Mother stated of how much She loves us all and She cares for her children. The
devil said that “your children do not believe, do not know you, and do not even care about you.” It
seemed to me as though that the devil was egging Blessed Mother on. Blessed Mother became
very mad, and kept getting madder as time grew on. Until Blessed Mother eventually
screamed/yelled "NO I WILL NOT DO IT." (With an emphasis, She will never abandon Her
children.) And as She said that, there was the brightest light, I ever saw, it must have been
brighter than a thousand suns combined. It was a very pretty light it seemed golden and was very
radiant. For a few seconds you could not see Her face, then I began to gradually see Her face
again, she was very relaxed. I saw was Her face again smiling with love and I did not see the devil
in the room. All that was left of my dream was Her face smiling with immense love and a bright
glowing light shining around Her head.5 I do have to say that her face was very pure and
beautiful. (A note for the reader, at the end of the dream all I was able to see the Blessed
Mother’s face. Similarly to watching something on television, the head was the only part of the
body that was focused on.) And that’s when I woke up.

Connection:
As I have tried to meditate about this dream it seemed also they, Blessed Virgin
Mary and the devil, were in a fight for my soul. My soul was up for grabs. Thinking
about it now, how helpless I felt during the dream. But it had seemed to me now
that the Blessed Virgin Mary won that battle for me.“I will put enmities between thee
and the woman, and thy seed and her seed: she shall crush thy head, and thou shalt
lie in wait for her heel.” 6

4. Luke 1:38
5. “And a great sign appeared in heaven: A woman clothed with the sun.” Apocalypse 12:1
6. Genesis Chapter 3:15

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Vocation To The Priesthood: Fall 2006 [Viewer Discretion]

The Three Ways of the Spiritual Life, Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, Pages 82-83:
“The first conversion is the transition from the state of sin to the state of grace,
whether by baptism or, in the case of those who have lost their baptismal
innocence, by contrition and sacramental absolution. Theologians explain at length
in the treatise on grace what precisely justification is in an adult, and how and why it
requires, under the influence of grace, acts of faith, hope, charity and contrition, or
detestation of sin committed.7 This purgation by the infusion of habitual grace and
the remission of sins is in a sense the type or pattern of all the subsequent
purgations of the soul, all of which involve acts of faith, hope, charity and contrition.
Often this first conversion comes about after a more or less painful crisis in which
the soul progressively detaches itself from the spirit of the world, like the prodigal
son, to come back to God. It is God always who makes the first step towards us, as
the Church has taught against the Semi-pelagians; it is He who inspires the good
movement in us, that initial goodwill which is the beginning of salvation. For this
purpose, by His grace and by the trials to which He subjects the soul, He as it were
'tills' the ground of the soul before sowing the divine seed within it; He drives a first
furrow therein, a furrow upon which He will later return, to dig more deeply still and
eradicate the weeds which remain; much as the vine-tender does with the vine
when it has already grown, to free from all that may retard its development. After
this first conversion, if the soul does not fall again into mortal sin, or at all events if
it rises from sin without delay and seeks to make progress, it is then the purgative
way of beginners.”

I, Phil Friedl, almost lost my virginity. How horrible I feel in the eyes of my heavenly Father.
How worthless I feel for betraying Him. I through my own fault, had allowed a woman to seduce
me. I never had any alcoholic drink in my life, except two sips of champaign with orange juice.
That was after a new years eve party with family, when I was around tweleve years old. And they
did not inform me that it had champaign in it until after I had tasted it. And that is the only time
in my life. So to presume that I was a drunkard when this sinful and wicked act was performed is
false and erroneous. Despite the wickedness and sins that was created between the other
woman and I, by sticking to the truest form of the definition of sexual intercourse, I could have
never lost my virginity by what did happen. Did the actions between the woman and I degrade
our souls? Yes very much so, it stained my soul dearly. After that event I could not forgive myself.
When my mother first said to me, “never have sex before your married” that impressed upon my
soul so deeply, about the importance of virginity. So having offended God so dearly by this wicked
act, I offended my mother by not obeying her. I should have fled from that occasion. I believe I
will only be able to forgive myself is when I am forgiven by a priest (since the priest is the
mediator between man and God. The priest acts on behalf of Jesus Christ, but it is God who truly
forgives the sins of men, not men.) Or when I am able to make a perfect act of contrition, for that
is a great grace to obtain from God. My whole life I had cherished the value of my virginity. I put it
on a pedal stool for all to see. (All: God, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Angels and Saints) My
happiness laid where my purity and virginity was. But I was a fool to almost had it thrown away. I
was reading about guardian angels in a book I had purchased. I had wept profusely after I had
read this quote. I will probably always will. “If God has called you to the religious life or to the holy
7. Cf. Council of Trent (Denzinger, 798) and St. Thomas, I-IIae, Qcxiii art. 1-8 inclusive

6
priesthood, your Guardian Angel will protect you from the temptations of the world and help you
to preserve your virginal purity, to offer it to God at the altar by your holy vows or to offer the
sacred Body of Christ with unstained hands and holy lips as a priest of the Most High.” 8

Definition of Virginal:
1. of pertaining to, characteristic of, or befitting a virgin: virginal purity.
2. Continuing in a state of virginity 9

Connection:
“It is certain that a child preserved in its innocence by a good education is more
precious treasure in the eyes of God than all the kingdoms of the world.” 10

“I beg of you to beware of thinking of the Rosary as something of little importance-as do

ignorant people and even several great but proud scholars. Far from being insignificant, the
Rosary is priceless treasure which is inspired by God. Almighty God has given it to you because
He wants you to use it as a means to convert the most hardened sinners and the most obstinate
heretics. He has attached to it grace in this life and glory in the next. The saints have said it
faithfully and the Popes have endorsed it. When the Holy Ghost has revealed its secret to a priest
and director of souls, how blessed is that priest! For the vast majority of people fail to know this
secret or else only know it superficially. If such a priest really understands this secret he will say
the Rosary every day and will encourage others to say it. God and His Blessed Mother will pour
abundant grace into his soul, so that he may become God's instrument for His glory; and his
word, through simple, will do more good in one month than that of other preachers in several
years.” 11
“Therefore whenever you happen to hear of a priest who is devoted to Mary, you need not
inquire further, you may be sure then he cannot be otherwise than good, and perhaps of rare
goodness too; but if, on the contrary, you come to know that a priest is cold and insensible in
affection towards this Mother, and to the sound of her name, you need not hope for much from
him, for if he has not much affection for the Mother, he will not have much love for the Son, or
much zeal for His glory, or for the salvation of souls.” 12
This is not to say that I am a perfect person, but in this day in age it is harder to find the
innocence and purity of a child past 12-15 years of age. I know I am not perfect because I have
sinned numerous of times against God which can fill up pages, and the number of sins being
more then all the grains of sand on the seashores. But I do have to say, I would rather meet a
firing squad than to lose my virginity. I pray that the Lord will comfort me in such tribulation.
Later reading Mass and The Sacraments, only confirmed my previous assumption on my
vocation. Although I have not yet been called by a bishop, I do not have a 100% confirmation of
my vocation. “The priest has to be called by God; he has to have a vocation to the priesthood. This
vocation is manifested in various ways:

a) By the pious desires of the heart;

b) By innocence of life;
c) By sincere love of Christ;
8. The Guardian Angels Our Heavenly Companions
9. Refer to MLA for Virginal
10. The Autobiography of St. Anthony Mary Claret, Page: 79
11. The Secret of the Rosary, Page: 1
12. The Priest The Man of God His Dignity And Duties

7
d) By zeal for the glory of God and the salvation of souls;
e) By talent and linking for higher studies” 13

Connection:
“For if a man live chastely all his life, it is God who preserves him; if he be converted
from immorality to a pure life, it is God who reforms him; and if he continue in his
disorder till the end, it is also God who justly forsakes him.” 14 It is obvious proof,
from my perspective, that God had protected my virginity, not by my merits. Giving
myself with an examination of conscience, it only reaffirms with past memories that
it could have only been God who protected me, since I can recall much impureness
spewing forth from my head (eight years being a slave to lust from the age of twelve
to the age of twenty). Well why in the world would the Mother of God want to protect
the most worthless creature? My whole life life I longed for a girlfriend, and then get
married, as I will later get into more details. There is no woman like the Blessed
Virgin Mary. No woman could ever come near the standard of the Mother of God. So
thinking to myself, well if I am truly being called to the priesthood, I must live a
chaste life, and cannot be married. But however there have been priests and other
men who for the honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary, have given their chaste love to
her. “When Saint Thomas of Canterbury was a young man, he was once in company
with other youths, each of whom was perhaps boasting of some foolish love affair.
The holy young man declared that he also loved and was beloved by a great Lady,
meaning the most Blessed Virgin. He afterwards felt some remorse at having
boasted of this. Being anxious on the subject, behold Mary appeared to him, and
with gracious sweetness said, 'Thomas, why fearest thou? Thou hadst reason to say
that thou lovest me, and that thou wast loved by me. Assure thy companions of this;
and as a pledge of the love I bear thee show them this gift which I now bestow upon
thee.' The gift was a small box, containing a chasuble of a blood-red colour, as a
token that Mary, for the love she bore him, had obtained the grace for him from
God, that he should become a priest and a martyr. This was verified; for he became
a priest, then Archbishop of Canterbury in England, where he was first of all
persecuted by the King, and had to fly to the Cistercian monastery of Pontigny in
France. When there, he was one day mending the hair-shirt which he usually wore;
but not being able to do it well, his beloved Queen appeared to him, and with
extraordinary kindness took it from his hands and repaired it as it should be done.
After this he returned to Canterbury, and died a martyr, having been put to death on
account of the zeal he had sown for his Church.” 15 So if such a Saint such as
Thomas of Canterbury has done it, why cannot I? I thus have given my virginity and
chaste love to the Blessed Virgin Mary, to protect and behold for all of eternity.
So to sum this story up why I believe I am called by God to be a priest. My logic, reasoning,
and supportive facts are below. The numbers does not mean that number one is the highest
priority or most loved, or sought after. The numbering is simply just a list.
1. I was protected by my guardian angel from losing my virginity.
2. The conversion from a life of sin
3. Love of the Blessed Virgin Mary

13. Mass and Sacraments, Pages: 126-127

14. The Sinner's Guide, Page: 45
15. The Glories of Mary, Pages: 563-564 Example #83.

8
 4. If the Lord wills it, martyrdom in defending the Catholic Faith.
5. I want release the poor souls in purgatory.
6. Spread devotion of the Holy Rosary and the Brown Scapular

The Love of the Holy Eucharist: Spring of 2007

I began longing for the Holy Eucharist while I was in the Norvus Ordo Masses. I wanted to
be filled with the love of God. I wanted to be a simple cup (my soul), while the Blessed Virgin
Mary, pours fourth the grace and love of the living water of God, into this cup until it overflows.
But at that time I could not explain it or prove the errors of Novus Ordo Masse. I had seen a video
on youtube showing a Tridentine mass it seemed very honorable compared to what we had at
Novus Ordo. But I however, thought the Novus Ordo was still acceptable sadly. The dots did not
connect that the latter was evil and not true.

The Brown Scapular: Spring of 2007

As my faith has grown throughout these years, I guess I wasn’t personally trying to test
God, Our Blessed Mother, or Jesus for that matter. I wanted to reaffirm what I was believing was
true. A couple of weeks into the spring 2007 semester, I felt sorrowful and asked the Blessed
Mother, whenever I pass away from this Earth, I want to see the picture on the brown scapular
clearly as the first day I had received it. Well it so far is coming true. The picture was pretty much
unrecognizable. All I was able to see before hand was the picture of Saint Simon Stock. After my
request, a few days later I saw the Blessed Virgin Mary handing Saint Simon Stock the scapular.

Our Lady Of Fatima: Spring of 2007

When I saw a documentary on DVD about Our Lady of Fatima, for the second time, the
message truly hit me, like running straight into a brick wall. I began feeling such sorrow for the
Blessed Mother and Jesus Christ. I began crying at random times. I then prayed to God feeling, so
sorrowful, that if you (God) needed to cry through me, you can cry through me. And I specifically
said that for depression as well. (As God granted that prayer to me a some time later) I continued
crying more and more each day. Then a depression that I have never felt in my life suddenly
overcomes me. I would literally lie on my bed and could not get up. It lasted for a couple of
months, but the intensity would vary. All I could do was stare at the ceiling. It was to a point of
paralyzing. I was so depressed I didn’t/couldn’t even think. I failed both mechanical engineering
exams (two separate classes one in each) which are about 30-35% of my total grade. I got a 26%
on the first one and a 33% on the other one. From then on I decided not to try and recover the
grade but put my trust in the Lord and began to read the bible and such. And allow this time for
me to spiritually grow like a flower. “Jesus saith to him: If thou wilt be perfect, go sell what thou
hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come follow me.” 16 I
began to pray the rosary more and more. I felt better after a few days having gone by, meanwhile
praying the rosary, I was still depressed, but I could actually function.

Rain: Spring of 2007

I was sitting at my desk one night, it was raining hard. The lighting shook the place
severely. It came down like cats and dogs. I was getting to a point of worried or afraid. I prayed a
couple of Hail Mary’s to the Blessed Mother to make it stop raining since I wanted to walk to
“church” or some place since I didn’t want to get really wet. The rain did not stop immediately

16. Saint Matthew 19:21

9
after I had prayed, but I had faith. So I went back to whatever I was doing and some time
elapsed. I do not remember how much time had passed, but I got ready to leave and without
even realizing the rain had stopped, I looked outside. I saw some light in the distance and the
clouds were moving away from where I was living. As if the Blessed Mother reminded me of what
I prayed for.

Tempted By The Devil And Evil Spirits: Spring 2007

There was one night in particular that I will never forget. This is what I believed when I was
tremendously tempted by the devil. As I was going to bed one night, a little later on while I could
not sleep, I had this sudden huge surge of sexual temptation to do impure acts. I said no. It only
kept getting worse. I persisted in saying no, and it of course got worse. It was heading to a point
were I wanted to scream and cry. It felt as if inside my body was burning on fire for lust. From
head to toe, there was no body part that was spared. I grabbed my pillow and sunk my face
deeply in it. However, I had to be absolutely silent because I had a roommate next door to me. I
began to pray to the Blessed Mother by saying the Hail Mary’s, the temptation only got worse. I
made a decision right then to become a better person and not have this evil, this filth, and these
sins on me anymore. It has stained my soul, it has damaged enough of my life between God and
I. These sins made a slave out of me and I wanted to be freed from it forever. I wanted to be
wiped clean of this horror that I was doing to God and to myself. I wanted to heal the relationship
between God and I. So I kept saying the Hail Mary’s, while all of this was happening, I began to
have tears roll down my face, and quietly weeping until I had fell asleep that night. Only the Lord
knows what I had gone through that night. I cannot thank enough my guardian angel for
assisting me in my time of need. “See that you despise not one of these little ones: for I say to
you, that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” 17 When I
woke up the next day and I did not have an urge for quite some time. And I praise the Blessed
Mother for interceding for me. There have been of course times of temptations since then. But
the overall intercession is so powerful that it has practically made that sense of lust numb to
nearly everything. Another way of explaining it, is that the virtue of chastity is so reigning
supreme, that any lustful thought, suggestion, or temptation is absolutely annihilated under
chastity's scepter. Realize too that I was a slave to that abominable vice for eight years, since the
age of twelve and finally by the grace of God, and the prayers of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the
age of twenty, I was able to stop. Lord you have waited for eight long years for my soul, what have
I done do deserve thy Mercy and thy grace?

The Glories of Mary, St. Alphonsus Liguori, Page 47: “And this is precisely what the
Blessed Virgin herself Said to St. Bridget: However much a man sins, I am ready
immediately to receive him when he repents; nor do I pay attention to the number
of his sins, but only to the intention with which he comes; I do not disdain to anoint
and heal his wounds; for I am called, and truly am, the Mother of Mercy.”

The Autobiography of St. Anthony Mary Claret, Pages 24-26: “One day, as I was lying
in bed at about 10:30 in the morning, a terrible temptation assailed me. I turned to
the Holy Mother of God for help, invoked the aid of my holy guardian angel, and
prayed to the saints whose names I bore, as well as to those of my special devotion.
Moreover, I endeavored with all possible effort to distract myself by directing my
attention to indifferent things, for I thought that I would in this way get rid of the
17. Saint Matthew 18:10

10
 temptation and forget it. I made the Sign of the Cross on my forehead, asking Our
Lord to free me from these impure thoughts. But all was in vain. Finally, I changed
to the other side of the bed to see if by this means the temptation would disappear.
Behold, there appeared in all her beauty and sweetness, Mary, the Holy Mother of
God. Her dress was of bright red, her mantle blue, and in her arms I saw a garland
of exquisitely beauty roses. I had seen in Barcelona the most beautiful roses, both
natural and artificial, but they could not be compared to those held by our Blessed
Mother that morning. As I lay in bed, I saw myself as a beautiful child on bended
knees with hands joined in prayer. I never forgot for one moment the presence of
the Blessed Mother, upon whom my gaze was lovingly fixed. I remember distinctly
that I had this thought: 'It is a woman, and this does not cause evil thoughts; rather
they have all disappeared.' Then the Blessed Mother addressed me with these
words: 'Anthony, this crown is for you if you conquer.' There was, moreover, a group
of saints at my right side, all in an attitude of prayer. I did not recognize any of them
except one, who looked like St. Stephen. It was my opinion then, and indeed it still
is, that these were my patron saints praying and interceding for me, so that I might
not succumb to the temptation. To my left I saw a great multitude of demons drawn
up in order like soldiers who fall back to form lines after a battle has been fought.
Seeing them, I murmured, “What a multitude there is! And how strong they look!”
While all this was going on, I was as one taken by surprise, for I did not know what
was happening to me. As soon as it was all over, I found myself free from the
temptation and with a joy so deep that I scarcely knew whence it came. I am
positive that I was not sleeping, nor was I suffering from dizziness of the head, nor
from any other infirmity that could cause a similar illusion. What made me believe
that this was a reality and a special grace from the Blessed Virgin was that for many
years afterwards I was not assailed by any temptations against chastity. If later on
an impure temptation came to me, it was so insignificant that it did not even merit
the name of temptation. All praise to Mary! Another victory to Mary!”

The Beginning Of A New Life: Spring of 2007

So since then I have been digging up my true faith and I see how the heretical “Vatican II”
completely made salvation harder to obtain for others and for myself. I prayed that the Blessed
Virgin will guide me to Her Son so I can give proper glory to Her Son. I made a vow with God and
the Blessed Mother to help me find Him and praise Him. (Another prayer that was heard and
granted) I want eternal life; I would rather lose all the riches of this world for the chance to be
with Him. I also made a vow to help others to save their souls from the being damned or be
misguided by the devil and his angels. So now I have to keep my side of the bargain. I cannot fail
the Lord that I love so much. He sent His loving mother to my aid. And there is nothing I can ever
do to truly repay for all the sins I have committed and the troubled times my Lord and the
Blessed Virgin Mary have interceded for me. I asked the Blessed Virgin Mary to guide me so I can
praise Her Son.

The Transition After College: Spring – Summer of 2007

During this transition of my life, I have noticed many things. My whole life I have always
longed for a girlfriend and eventually a good wife. (I thought about marriage either from the
beginning of third or fourth grade, so I was about 7 to 8 years old, to put that in perspective.) I
would put a false pretense of hope into this situation because when I look back on it now, it was

11
the will of my life, not God's. And it would have ended up with my eternal damnation indefinitely
if I had pursued it one hundred percent. And I will give some context on why this is not the will of
God, which is the most important will ever. So when I was still in college in my last semester
there, I liked this girl a lot. And I thought my friend and I were the only people who liked her.
When I got to know her more and more, there seemed to be more and more people admitting to
her that they liked her more then in just in a friendship way. That seemed to me a subtle note
from God to walk away from her. He was putting resistance between her and myself. (But I was
head of heels for this girl, and was completely ignorant of my salvation sadly). After I had dinner
with her and about 12 other people, I had felt that she might like me (from my perspective)
[Later confirmed it by a conversation with her after I moved back home and she moved to New
York]. But with about six other people telling her that they like her she was not ready for a
relationship, I could only assume, but I did not want to think that. There was one night in
particular that I will not forget, unless God wills me to forget it. She was really upset one night
and she called me and eventually I ended up being with her in a computer lab talking to her. It
calmed her down. And after I had left there, it felt as if something was different in the air.18 I
knew something was not right. As I got back to my room, I sat next to the computer and by the
grace of God that this was not what God has willed for me to do. (As in keep chasing after this
woman. Since it is not the will of God and will not lead me my eternal home, heaven). I wept
about losing her. She had many of the ideal features, personality etc. I had always looked for in a
woman. I eventually said, “God if you want me to walk away from her, let thy will be done.” So I
was indeed searching for the will of God for me, but first I had to find the One Holy Catholic and
Apostolic Church. While I was still in college I had been searching for the Catholic Church, due to
the lack of sleep and the depression that I believe God had justly gave to me, I thought the One
Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church was in Australia, and I believed then that Antipopes John Paul
II & Benedict XVI were true popes. And it is obvious now that a heretic cannot be a pope, but due
to my own ignorance I did not know. I actually convinced myself that I would go to Australia for
this heretical sect thinking it was the Catholic Church. But it indeed was the devil deceiving me.
(As I look back at it now all my confusion was a result in a lack of a Catholic Education because I
did not know the dogmas of the faith.) But during this time I got in an argument with my father.
That I did not want to do engineering anymore thinking that the priesthood is my vocation. He
due to his anger, threw a fit. (The reasons why he got upset, I do not recall). And I walked away
from the restaurant. I knew that I could not contribute anything positive to that conversation. My
father in his anger said awful things as he drove by in the car, because I did not want to talk. He
did that a couple times. As I walked back to my room where I had been living in DeKalb, I was
passing a Catholic cemetery. I saw a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I took out my rosary, knelt
down, and wept to her while trying to say the rosary, because I did not know what to do. I felt so
terribly lost. I prayed that She would lead me to Her Son, that I might be saved as well as others
(family, friends, and enemies). This is the first time I had thought for myself. Because for the last
18. As time grew on it seemed that she did not like me, why I thought that specifically I do not know, but as I found
out later I was terribly wrong. Instead of asking her, if she had liked me, I asked one of her friends. Her friend said
that she was not looking for anyone. Guys around the place where this particular lady and I were hanging out, were
admitting they had feelings for her. So I despaired thinking she did not like me because it seemed as if there was a
never ending gauntlet and obstacles. I thought to myself there is no way that this beautiful lady whom I had fallen
madly in love with could ever like me. Which later on that night made me say: “God if you want me to walk away
from her, let thy will be done.” I stumbled across this note the other day it made me almost wept: “You should never
frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.” There are many times in our life we think
about the what ifs. But that is all but self love brewing up the past. That is vanity and worldliness sticking a sword of
sorrow into the heart. “If the Word is to be defended, we are ready. This is the whole spirit of chivalry.” Chivalry,
Chapter I: The Origin of Chivalry, Leon Gautier.

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twenty years, I had been obedient as best as I could, in honor of my father and mother, I went to
college to do mechanical engineering for them. Ever since I was a child I just did what my father
and mother expected me to do, engineering, as long as it was engineering. (One has to realize is
that I was obedient because I love them. As any child should do. For what a loving parent goes
through for their child. Should not a child do the same? The only exception if one should be
obedient to a parent is if they ask you that would make you sin, contrary to God's
commandments, and God's will for your vocation.) After that weekend, my father wept about
what he had done. And cried to my mother. And due to what he had done, he is now going to a
family counselor, us included. I pray that my father will get rid of his anger. (Please keep my
father in your prayers.) It was also during this time I would have to say that God had scared the
heck out of me, by showing me the pains of hell and the reasons why people go there. I was on
the verge of despairing or I was in despair for months now. Because the good Lord has shown to
me all my wrongdoings by an examination of conscience. It was indeed such a tribulation the
good Lord had put me through. At the times of my tribulation, I, just like Saint Paul,had asked
God to take away the pain.
“And lest the greatness of the revelations should exalt me, there was given me a sting of
my flesh, an angel of Satan, to buffet me. For which thing thrice I besought the Lord, that it might
depart from me. And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in
infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”
19
However, I was unable to profit from Holy Scriptures because I had not read the Holy Bible
during that time of temptation. As I slowly began to read such wisdom now, I can understand
how God helps a poor sinner to prevent from coming to a point of despair. And through such
tribulation that I personally had, it is very refreshing to hear such things.
I wanted to keep the reader aware of this horrible persecution that I had on my soul. And
that this had lasted for over months. The only hope I had was through the Blessed Virgin Mary,
and by the means of the Holy Rosary, will I ever be forgiven for the wickedness that I have done
so far with my life. I was in such a sorrowful time that I had wept for every poor soul that did not
know God, and whom did not hold the Christian Faith, 20 including myself. I am still very sadden
by the fact that the world has virtually came back to its pagan roots. What grief fills my soul. I am
still very concerned with not only my salvation but every single person who is still alive. There was
a quote from a book, that gave me great hope. Well actually a couple, and I am going to reprint
them here.

“If you say the Rosary faithfully until death, I do assure you that, in spite of the
gravity of your sins 'you shall receive a never fading crown of glory.”' (1 Peter 5:4)
Even if you are on the brink of damnation, even if you have one foot in hell, even if
you have sold your soul to the devil as sorcerers do who practice black magic, and
even if you are a heretic as obstinate as a devil, sooner or later you will be converted
and will amend your life and save your soul, if-and mark well what I say-if you say
the Holy Rosary devoutly everyday until death for the purpose of knowing the truth
and obtaining contrition and pardon for you sins.” 21

19. Second Epistle Of Saint Paul To The Corinthians 12: 7-9

20. St. Augustine, Sermon to the People of Caesaria, No. 6, Catholic Apologetics Page 128: “No man can find
salvation save in the Catholic Church. Outside the Catholic Church he can find everything save salvation. He can have
dignities, he can have the Sacraments, he can sing 'Alleluia,' answer 'Amen,' accept the Gospels, have faith in the
Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and preach it too, but never save in the Catholic Church can he find
salvation.”
21. The Secret Of The Rosary, Page: 12

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 “No one can live continually in sin and continue to say the Rosary-either he will give
up sin or he will give up the Rosary.”- Bishop Hugh Boyle 22

I recited the first quote night after night, “If you say the Rosary faithfully until death...”.
Before I said the rosary. And never gave up hope. For hope keeps you striving toward your
salvation. Even if it was the tiniest shred of hope. I held on to it as if a 200 mph Tornado of
despair was about to suck me up. My only hope was in the Blessed Virgin Mary. “Amen, amen I
say to you, that you shall lament and weep, but the world shall rejoice; and you shall be made
sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.” 23 And gradually after that by the end of that
semester I had completely stopped talking to any of my friends from college, because God in His
infinite wisdom knew that they were endangering my eternal salvation. The Lord had provided for
me time to think and breathe. With all this commotion going on, I had barely had the time to
breathe. The worse part about this whole situation is that my friends do not seek for the truth,
well not many people do for that matter. They are similar to people whom are bed ridden from a
sickness. They concern themselves about things of worldliness. This hurts me more than
anything. It is like seeing a bunch of people torturing a person you love dearly, and you are
staring into their eyes seeing their pain, a nightmare unfold before your very eyes, and all you can
do is weep. Just like the Mother of Sorrows witnessing the crucifixion of Her Son. My heart is torn
for all my friends who are very lost inside and do not simply wish to look outside at the beautiful
dew of God's goodness. I understand a very small portion of how the Mother of Sorrows feels. To
me this is more agonizing then being burnt to a stake, because of the love for them. For love has
no true measurement. God's will is for me to be a priest (to the best of my knowledge, I will
explain further). And I wanted to chase after a woman I had really liked. As I look at the will of
God now, it is indeed a cross for me to carry, especially after what happened at the heretical
“Vatican II”, but did Jesus Christ half way up to Calvary threw the cross down and said He had
enough? My pain is my comfort, my pain is the love I receive from my Lord, “For whom the Lord
loveth, he chastiseth.” 24 Boy it is truly the beautiful dew fallen from the clouds of Heaven. There
is nothing this irresistible in this world that could ever separate my love for my Savior and the
Blessed Virgin anymore. So from then I, I have given up my will for the Will of God. What joys that
fills my heart to finally to have found the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. My search has
finally ended. I cannot explain the relief I have felt from that alone. “...Thy will be done on earth
as it is in heaven...Amen.” 25
Jesus Christ did not do His will, but the Will of His Father. “And going a little further, he fell
upon his face, praying, and saying: My Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me.
Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” 26

What I Believe To Be A Battle With Devils: 7 May 2007

For a few days I was getting into the habit of getting up at five am because I was training
my body to get used to getting up at that time. Well this morning I happened to get up around
four thirty. About five or ten minutes later I heard this noise. Words cannot describe its origin but
it was pure evil and terrifying. It was not an animal, pet, bird, or anything I could not even

22. The Secret Of The Rosary, Page: 127

23. Saint John 16:20
24. Hebrews 12:6
25. The Catechism Explained, Page: 59
26. Saint Matthew 26:39

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recognize. I originally thought nothing of it, but it would come back over and over again in about
the same time interval. As I keeping stating that this sound was so petrifying that words cannot
began to paint a picture in the reader's mind. Every time I had heard this sound chills went down
my spine and it was hard for me to breath. Just by the sound of this thing my muscles began to
stiffen. I am going to attempt though through my ignorance to categorize the sound. It sounded
like somebody was choking. But it was not any normal choking noise that would come from a
human being. So for about five to ten minutes I tried to ignore it and tried wishing it away, but it
would not stop. So I thought that it was my turn to fight back and terrify this thing back into the
depths of Hell from once it came. I always have my weapon on me whether wrapped around my
hand, my arm, or in my pocket. So I took it out made the sign of the cross and began praying the
rosary. I got about half way into the first decade and the noise stopped. I think I might have
finished off that decade. I am not quite sure. But in any case the noise had gone away and had
not come back. So I have to give another thanks to my ever loving Blessed Mother who is
watching over me.

Begone Satan, Fr. Carl Vogl, Page 36: “During the process of exorcism, the evil
spirits repeatedly made statements to the effect that they would tire and exhaust
the pastor. One time in the middle of the night he was suddenly awakened by a
disturbance in the room. Were rats gnawing somewhere? It seemed to between the
walls near his bed. Was there so much room there that the rats could run about so
freely? During his fourteen years in this same house he had never experienced
anything of the kind. Was he to be bothered with such miserable pests at last? He
pounded the wall with his fist to scare away the rodents. But to no avail He first used
his cane, then his shoe, to pound on the wall. Instead of letting up, the noise
became worse. Perhaps the night prowlers would disappear of their own accord. He
waited and would disappear of their accord. He waited and waited. They continued
up and down between the walls, and even threatened to ruin them. Father Steiger
was in need of a good night's rest after all the disturbances during the day. An idea
came that seemed altogether to foolish. Could there be some relation between
these night prowlers and the evil spirits of the exorcism? Had not the devils
threatened to tire him out? Perhaps this is what they meant after all. If so, then
there is only one thing to do, and that is to use spiritual weapons against these
intruders. Fortifying himself with his stole, the pastor again tried to sleep. At last the
noise let up, but not altogether. “Wait, you cursed hellrats, I'll get rid of you yet!”
Getting up again, he lit two candles before a crucifix and recited the small formula
of exorcism against evils spirits. Aha! That was the language these hellrats
understand. They took to flight and all as quiet. They seemed to have spirited, blown
off now, although all previous thumping and pounding on the walls had brought no
results.”

Tears and Comfort: 10 May 2007

As I was praying the rosary before I went to bed and I was crying because the devil has
seeped far into the minds of men. How many souls are lost and do not even realize it. I wept for
my family who do not seek or see the truth of God. How much sorrow I have for them. I can only
pray, pray, and pray for their souls to wake up before its too late. Who will propagate the Holy
Rosary? Who will give devotion to Our loving merciful Savior and His sorrowful mother? Who will
stand up against this evil? How few are we who will stand up to evil and willing to lay our life

15
down for the truth. Very few people know the benefits of the rosary and use it for that purpose.
Many people give the rosary lip service and no love. A wretch like me continues to do it, may God
help me pray better. To begin this beautiful story, I was weeping for about six decades in a row
starting with the Joyful mysteries. I continued on weeping at the mystery of the agony at the
garden. I began to have an infinitesimal idea of what our Lord suffered through at the garden of
Gethsemane. Since I have not done a true confession in twenty years, one has to realize the
horror of how many sins that I have racked up. What sorrow and tears alone that fills up my eyes.
I have wept about that too time and time again just because of the evil that I have done to our
Lord. How unworthy I am to the eyes of our Lord and our Savior. From my perspective since that I
am not in a state of grace God has turned his eye away from me. When I was praying the holy
rosary I never felt that alone in my life. I then said, “I do not even have my Blessed Mother to
comfort me just like Jesus. How much sorrow and discomfort I feel. What sadness comes to my
soul. I do not know how Jesus our Savior did it. God be praised that He did the will of His Father.”
But in any case around the fourth decade in the sorrowful mysteries I stopped crying. Let me
explain to you how it came about. The suddenness was amazing in itself. Lets say that a burning
candle was representing my sorrowfulness and my tears. It was as if our Blessed Mother took a
breathe and blew out the light, the light of my tears and my sorrowfulness. It was as if the
Blessed Mother had wiped away my tears with Her own hand. I then began to cry in tears, but of
Joy. And this is all while praying the Holy Rosary. I kept continued on praying while I was crying,
this time not from sorrowfulness, but from joyfulness. I continued on through the glorious
mysteries. When I got to the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven and the
Coronation of Our Lady as Queen of Heaven and Earth. I began to laugh...I started praying the
rosary crying and I ended up praying the rosary laughing.

The Secret Of The Rosary, St. Louis De Montfort, Page 86: I am reading a wonderful
book by St. Louis De Montfort about the Holy Rosary. I wanted to give a little excerpt
from it. “One day Our Lady said to Blessed Alan: I want people who have a devotion
to my rosary to have my Son's grace and blessed during their lifetime and at their
death, and after their death I want them to be freed from all slavery so that they will
be like kings wearing crowns and with scepters in their hands and enjoying eternal
glory.” God be praised on those blessings alone! Continuation of the excerpt... Be
that as it may I shall say no more than to assure you, in the words of Blessed Alan
de la Roche, that the Holy Rosary is the root and the storehouse of countless
blessings. For through the Holy Rosary:
Sinners are forgiven
Souls that thirst are refreshed
Those who are fettered have their bonds broken
Those who weep find happiness
Those who are tempted find peacefulness
The poor find help
Religious are reformed
Those who are ignorant are instructed
Living learn to overcome pride
The dead (the Holy Souls) have their pains eased by suffrages.”
I started the Holy Rosary weeping and by the grace of God I was given happiness and
comfort. God be praised for all of His mercifulness. Do not doubt for one second that the Blessed
Virgin Mary does not keep Her promises. Thank you Jesus and Mary!

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Awakening and of Despair...Again: Summer 2007
As I have been learning more and more of my faith I have began to realize how God can
begin to open a soul's mind to reality and that is a grace of fear of the Lord. God scared the heck
out of me. And I still fear my Lord. His divine Justice is very infinite and very painful. That is what
Hell is. For all the unrepentant sinners or the ungrateful ones at the time of their deaths reap
what they sow. “For what things a man shall sow, those also shall he reap. For he that soweth in
his flesh, of the flesh also shall reap corruption. But he that soweth in the spirit, of the spirit shall
reap life everlasting.” 27 And by the mercy and grace of God. I have been thankful for Him for
awakening me up and sent me a chilling message. If I do not live for God and do not glorify God
in what I do every day I deserve the fires of Hell. Simply because people whom are ungrateful to
God deserve the fires of Hell including myself. I was in my own ignorance and horrible sins for
twenty years. By the grace of God, He has awoke me up to reality that every breathe I take may
be my last and that is how one should live. For the glory of God and nothing else. If you cannot
glorify God in the act you would be doing then there is not point in doing it. So for whatever time I
have on this earth I am striving to be perfect in what I do for the glory of God. “Be you therefore
perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect.” 28 “The fear of the Lord is a crown of wisdom,
filling up peace and the fruit of salvation:” 29 God Almighty decided in His infinite wisdom to let
the devil tempt me to despair. And during this horrendous time, I relied on the Blessed Virgin
Mary. She was my closest and best intercessor, that I will ever have with God. But in any case, I
had sunk so deeply because this time I had murmured against God's divine and holy providence.
For which I truly regret and am sorrowful for. And I had continually been through this despair until
I had found Pope Michael the 1st. But for those months that I was in despair or on the verge of
despairing, I had held firm to the holy rosary. I, a wretched sinner, could not see the mercy of our
Lord when I was in that horrible time of temptation of despair.

Finding Pope Michael: Summer-Fall 2007

I was in a theological debate with one of my friends online. I was discussing about what
happened at “Vatican II” and how destructive the Antichrist took millions people out of the
Catholic Church. And he did not believe me. And I remember stating to him that, “If there is a
true pope I would praise God that we have one.” (Or to that extent, I forgot the exact words.)
Therefore, my ignorant self kept debating about theology, after I had said that statement. And
later that night I found the website to Pope Michael 1st. I had the expression, “your kidding me.” I
do not remember what I was searching for when I had found the Pope. But having faith in my
Lord, my God, and My Savior. I put faith into the Pope Michael. After reading Pope Michael’s book
along with his co-authors book, their factual and Catholic theological basis is irrefutable. They
make an incredible strong case against anyone who would oppose them. It is such a strong case
that I believe that no one can refute the facts after reading the entire book. This book is styled
like a theological/academic paper. There are many sources from the fathers and doctors of the
Church. “If you say the Holy Rosary devoutly everyday until death for the purpose of knowing the
truth and obtaining contrition and pardon for you sins.” 30 That is exactly what I did. And I found
Pope Michael the 1st. Not that I did anything special, for all I am is nothing, ignorant, and
wretched. Holy Scripture states well that we are “bodies of sin.” 31 But it is truly by the grace of

27. Epistle Of Saint Paul To The Galatians 6:8

28. Gospel According to Saint Matthew 5:48
29. Ecclesasticus 1:22
30. The Secret Of The Rosary, Page: 12
31. Epistle Of Saint Paul To The Romans 6:6

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God that I found Pope Michael 1st. There has been a significant problem for me personally that I
was having, every time I found a traditionalist monastery or a traditionalist priesthood, I found
something better, or the will of God lead me somewhere else, in a completely different direction.
As if the devil deceived me, and God knew how ignorant I am, lead me to a safer pasture. For
example, I was going to go to Australia for a monastery, but looking back on it now it is a
heretical cult, and I would have been in big trouble for my salvation. My next one was between a
heretical traditionalist monastery and a traditionalist priesthood. I am indeed more stubborn
than a mule, because when I was interested in the monastery, I was thinking well I can just do
reparation for the rest of my life. And I felt a strong gravitation toward the priesthood despite it
was a traditionalist one. It cost money that I do not have. So I thought to myself well, “I do not
want to be a priest.” So I wanted to recall to our readers, Jesus Christ did the will of His Father.
Jesus Christ did not do his will. Moreover, after I found the Pope Michael’s website, I saw that was
traditionalism was indeed a heretical error, condemned as Gallicanism most notably at 1870's
Vatican Council and only Vatican Council. I was too ignorant to know that until I saw the pope’s
website. I was happy that God show my ignorant self to my salvation. And the apostasy was so
great that it dwindled down to about six laity (not including Russia and China). The Church went
from hundreds of millions in 1958 to just a handful, as of 1990, six elected Pope Michael. “And
they that remain of the trees of his forest shall be so few, that they shall easily be numbered, and
a child shall write them down.” 32

My Guardian Angel: Fall 2007

I was on the way back from seeing one of my friends. I was on the train and really tired for
I had been up for a good portion of the night. So the train ride had just began and all my reading
material was finished. So I told my guardian angel to wake me up before my stop comes. So I
took a nap. I had awoken gently and I finally looked outside. And we had just passed one of the
stops. It was two stops before mine. I was overjoyed that my guardian angel did that for me. “For
he hath given his angels charge over thee; to keep thee in all thy ways.” 33

Thy Will Be Done: Fall 2007

As I was going to the cemetery to pray for the poor souls in purgatory, one night it was
raining there. I was sort of dreading that I would be saying the rosary in the rain. I hoped God
would make it stop raining because I did not want to get sick. And then submitting to the will of
God, I stated, “Thy will be done.” And before my eta (estimated time arrival) of two minutes the
rain had stop. In utter disbelief I thanked God, for stopping the rain. I then went to the cemetery
to pray the rosary for the poor souls and to give thanks.

Thy Will Be Done Second Time: Fall 2007

This time I was in the cemetery praying the rosary for the poor souls in purgatory, but it
was indeed raining and it was not stopping. I said, “well if it pleases God that it rains on me while
I am saying the rosary, then it pleases me.” I then proceeded in conforming myself to the will of
God. As I am recalling this past experience, I would have to say no later then ten to fifteen
minutes later, the rain completely stopped, I continued finishing the rest of the 15 decades of the
Holy Rosary. I again thanked God, and all of those who cooperated in obtaining the grace. “Jesus
said to them:...For, amen I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say
to this mountain, Remove from hence hither, and it shall remove; and nothing shall be
32. Prophecy Of Isaias 10:19
33. Book of Psalms 90:11

18
impossible to you.” 34

A Dream Ave Maria: Fall 2007

I had dreamt that I was talking to the soldiers in the Iraq war. I then saw a tornado come
out of no where. I tried to find a place to embrace for impact. I had this rug or cloth and wrapped
it around a tree, meanwhile holding on to dear life. This woman came out of nowhere having a
cloth/rag as well, she held onto my cloth, and vice versa. I intertwined with her hoping that with
the combined strength of both of us would increase our safety. In the end, I was sucked up into
the air higher and higher by the tornado. Being absolutely scared of my life, I started
singing/saying the ave maria. In my dream, as soon as I said that prayer in my dream everything
became tranquil and relaxing, as if floating on the cloud, despite I was in the tornado. As I woke
up the very words ave maria were on my lips being spoken. Ave Maria is the Latin prayer for the
Hail Mary.

My Mother's Dream and Her Cell Phone: December 2007

She could not find her cell phone anywhere. She throughly looked everywhere and could
not find it. I tried for about 5-10 minutes that night after I had worked. I asked her, “Did you pray
to Saint Anthony and the Blessed Virgin Mary?” She replied in the negative. I said, “You always
have to pray to them first.” I simply had confidence in them that they would pull us through, there
has not been a time when they have failed. If they seem to have failed, it is when I did not
persevere in prayer. I did not say any prayers to them specifically that night, my mother might
have, but in any case that night she had a dream that had shown her the exact spot of where the
cell phone was. She described it perfectly where it was. It was upstairs in my father's and
mothers bedroom, on the left had side of the bed, on that nightstand. While on the nightstand,
the cellphone fell (I presume) between the plastic openings within the tissue box. And that is
where my mother told me to find it. And it even was fully charged as well. Thank you Saint
Anthony and Blessed Mother.

Being Sick: 17 December 2007

The intention is not to gain sympathy or have pity, but to show you God's blessings in the
mist of tribulation. After having woke up at 0300 I was sick, but mildly. I had a simply sore
throat, I had some difficulty and pain with swallowing. So I went downstairs and I over ate too
much for breakfast. I felt bad that I possibly sinned, by gluttony. When my mother came
downstairs and asked, “you ate all the lasagna?” I felt horrible because I knew that I should not
have eaten that much at one time. But I somehow rationalized while made an excuse to myself
that I was having “brunch.” But in any case, I said to God, “Well Father (referring to God) chastise
me for my sins/wrongdoings, I ask you to give me more pain that I justly deserve.” [These are
not the exact words but similar to the intended words used] And as I was getting sicker, I offered
up my sufferings for the poor souls in purgatory. I had an interior consolation, not that the pain
went away, but I came to almost a calmness of being able to overcome and handling of suffering.
Not that I had joy by it, but I was content. I was not distressed that it was happening to me. I
continued to ask for more pain and so it was added onto me. I wanted to note as a reference for
others as well as for myself, as soon I began to stop offering up my sufferings, is when I began to
feel discomfort, distressed, and a sense of queasiness that wanted to get rid of the crown of
jewels off my head (which is what I refer to sufferings). I went from a simply sore throat, to

34. Saint Matthew Chapter 17:19

19
serious vomiting, a migraine headache, and a 102 degree fever within about two hours. The
whole sickness lasted from 0300 to 1630, as time went on the pain began to dwindled. I was
crowned a King, but alas my foolishness threw it away, I departed my heart plus my thoughts
from God which made my crown crumble away to mere dust.

Satan In Control: Fall of 2007 - Spring of 2008

This story is quite interesting. Given the fact of a couple things that I have not sorted out or
figured out. Firstly is that I did not know if I was in a dream sleeping or in real life experiencing it.
But I believe that it was the latter not the former, only because it seemed as if my will was fully
operational, and my functionality of thinking was at 100%. Well let me describe this story. I was
in bed, even though I had the will to say to my body to move, as we all do, our body obeys. The
body is just a mere instrument of the soul. It was made for that purpose, that the lower dignity,
the body, would be in a slave or a subject to the soul the more nobler facility. But however, my
whole body felt like it was paralyzed. My body could not move, if I recall, the only thing that could
move were my eyes. I tried with all my will power and energy. To lift my body up off the bed. It felt
as if my body were chained to the bed, and I could not move anything, even a few millimeters.
How I got to this state, is stated in the following sentences. I was meditating about the topic of
angels, the difference between the fallen ones and the faithful ones. I meditated on the beauty,
elegance, the purity of the faithful ones (my guardian angel). When I got to the fallen ones. My
mind was put to terror, by the way they had looked, all disfigured, hideous, and abominable. I was
so terrified, I could not turn away from the wall that my body was facing, as if the devil was right
behind me ready to terrify me, ready to drag me across the room (as he has been known to do to
Saints). I could not find the location in a certain pious book were I have read it, but there had
been a holy monk, hung upside and beaten by devils during the night being left there to die, but
in the morning his fellow holy monks found him (I think it was in a book written about St.
Dominic). Back to the story, I finally I turned over on my back, that is when it happened, my body
just froze, per see. And an indescribable force, something mightier than I was holding me down.
And all I could say in my mind, because I could not speak, is “Mary please help me,” over and
over again. This happened before I went to bed one night.

The Way of Divine Love, Sister Josefa Menédez, Pages 539-541: “Josefa would say
later that during this night the devil was given so absolute a power of mastering her
free will that she felt as though she were possessed by a strange and irresistible
force which made her think, will and even experience physically what she would
never wish to think, or will, or experience. A realization whose origin was not from
within herself, suddenly and abruptly imposed itself upon her mind so clearly, that
she could not reject it: ...At other times, she quite unlike herself, and those who
approached her were keenly aware that “another” had possession of her. The joy of
believing herself cured, of being free from the path so long dreaded, free to live her
own life, to enjoy life...all this was expressed in the very tone of her voice, which an
assertiveness, irony, and an expression of face so unlike herself that it made one
shudder...For the time being she was completely transformed into another
person...for never had her mortified soul felt such impressions or spoken in that
way. One could feel the interior struggle that must be going on, and that made her
silence more painful still. What prayers and supplications arose to heaven for her
enlightenment and deliverance! Nothing counted in that terrible trial, but suffering.”

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Testing of My Vocation: 30 January 2008
The place were I am working there is a certain lady. This woman caught a glance of me
and ever since, I nicked named her “Star Gazer.” Defining that to be, one constantly watching me.
As one would gaze at stars thus the name Star Gazer. The first three days of work were wicked,
being thus. My will was revolting against God's will. The feelings of wanting a vocation in
marriage were sprouting again. But reason and grace rose to my aide in this perpetual battle.
After the third day as I was coming home, could not handle it emotionally, not knowing whether
my vocation was in the priesthood or that of marriage. I went to the Catholic cemetery to offer up
my prayers to the faithful souls that are suffering. I said three Hail Marys in honor of them, that
they might be released or at least relieved. And asked on whether my vocation was that of
marriage, or the priesthood. The next day, the first time I woke up I was half asleep, and fell
immediately back to sleep. The second time, when I fully woke up, I zealously wanted to preach
the Roman Catechism, published by St. Pope Pius V. The whole day that was all I could think
about was preaching. Stargazer has many meanings. Sailors looked to the stars for guidance
when they are lost. The stars are themselves almost like a map. If a experienced sailor looks at
the stars he can bring the ship home. But an inexperience sailor does not understand how to use
the stars. So does Stargazer. She does not know that her home is Heaven because living a life as
a pagan. She is blinded by the vanity and the puff of smoke it gives off. Will she be lost at sea?
Only God knows.

Longing for the Holy Eucharist: Summer of 2008

There was another time I was longing for the Holy Eucharist. I was in bed at night already
meditating what it would be like to have the Holy Eucharist. I was licking my lips wondering what
sweetness it would be like to have the Body and Blood of Our Lord. As I was licking my lips, my
soul felt very drawn, as if it was going to leave the body. I wanted to say my soul stayed in this
semi separated state for about a minute or so. To give you a good example. Take two magnets,
both the positive and negative ends. When they are completely attached to one another, that
symbolizes the complete union of a soul with God in Heaven. What I felt was that intermediate
stage, when you hold the two magnets close to each other, although they are not attached to one
another, the person holding the magnets can feel their attraction toward one another. It felt as if
God was drawing my soul towards the ceiling, which at the time my body was laying on my bed.
The last sentence of the following quote describes what I felt during this event, “Alas! I found
myself again on earth and spiritual dryness once more took possession of my heart.”

The Story of a Soul, Saint Therese of Lisieux, Page 188: “When the Mother Prioress
asked her if his were the first rapture she had experienced, she answered quite
simply; I have had several transports of love, and the one in particular during my
novitiate, when I remained for a whole week far removed from the world. It is
impossible for me to explain it, but it seemed as though I went about my work with
a body other than my own, and that a veil had been cast over all earthly things. But I
was not then consumed by a real flame; I was able to bear it all, without hope of
seeing the ties that bound me to life give way under the weight of joy; whilst on the
occasion of which I speak, one minute – one second – more and and my soul must
have left the body...Alas! I found myself again on earth and spiritual dryness once
more took possession of my heart.”

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Fork in the Road: May 2008

The Three Ways of the Spiritual Life, Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, Page 85-86:
“But what happens, usually, at this stage? Practically all beginners, when they
receive these sensible consolations, take too much complacency in them; they
regard them as though they were an end in themselves, and not merely a means to
higher things. They then become an obstacle to their progress; they are a occasion
of spiritual greed, of curiosity in the things of God, of an unconscious pride which
leads the recipient to talk about his favours and under a pretext of doing good to
others, to pose as a master in the spiritual life. Then as St. John of the Cross says,
“the seven capital sins make their appearance, no longer in the gross form, but in
order of spiritual things, as so many obstacles to a true and solid piety. Accordingly,
by a logical and vital transition, a second conversion becomes necessary, described
by St. John of the Cross under the name of the passive purgation of the senses. Of
this he says that it is ' common and comes to many; these are beginners,' and that
its purpose is to lead them into 'the road and way of the spirit, which is that of
progressives and proficients...they way of infused contemplation wherewith God
Himself feeds and refreshes the soul.' This purgation is characterized by a prolonged
aridity of the senses, in which the beginner is deprived of all those sensible
consolations in which he had taken too great complacency. If in the midst of this
aridity there is an intense desire for God, a desire that He should reign in us,
together with a fear of offending Him, then this is a second sign that it is a divine
purgation. Still more so, if to this intense desire for God there is added a difficultly in
praying according to the discursive method, and an inclination towards the prayer of
simple regard, with love. This is the third sign that the second conversion is in
progress, and that the soul is being raised up to a higher form of life, that of the
illuminative way. If the soul endures this purgation satisfactorily its sensibility
becomes more and more subject to the spirit; the soul is cured of its spiritual greed
and the pride that had led it to pose as a master; it learns better to recognize its
own neediness. Not infrequently there arise other difficulties pertaining to the
process of purgation, for example, in study, in our relations with persons to whom
we are too greatly attached, and from whom God now swiftly and painfully detaches
our affections. At this time, too, there arise often enough grave temptation against
chastity and patience, temptations which God allows so that by reaction against
them these virtues, which reside in the sensible part of our nature, may become
more firmly and truly rooted in us. Illness, too, may be sent to try us during this
period. In this crisis God again tills the ground of the soul, digging deeper in the
furrow which He has already driven at the moment of our first conversion: He is
uprooting the evil weeds, or the relics of sin, 'reliquias peccati.'”

Throughout the history of men, there have been at times when they had a fork in the road.
All men have this decision to be Just or Wicked. So it has come down to my turn to live a just life
or a wicked one. Which one will I choose? I pray that I will live a just life. There are two women
that my heart loves. Thus grief and anxiety is filled to the brim. My conscience rebukes me that I
must only choose one. This is a story that shows the joy of serving the Blessed Virgin Mary. The
other lady that my heart was torn over is Stargazer. The weeds in my soul have grown farther
down so it is a tougher root to pull out. My conscience again is scolding me for being an

22
adulterer. 35 I did give my chaste love to the Blessed Virgin Mary, but somehow I had fallen deeply
for Stargazer. After battling for quite some weeks my heart could not handle it. Looking at both
hands while sitting on a chair, I said, “On the one hand I have Heaven, and on the other I have
Hell. Heaven consists of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Hell consists of my lustful desires which might
be fulfilled in Stargazer.” I turned to the hand that represented Heaven, and with my eyes full of
tears, “Why are you so hard to pick? This should be such an easy choice!” Then I went to bed in
tears. When I woke up, words cannot describe what happened, but I will try through my abundant
ignorance.

Art of Prayer, Martial Lekeux O.F.M., Page 263-264: "That is all well and good," you
say, "but how do you put sentiments in the heart when they are not there: Love—
affective love— cannot be requisitioned. It depends on a thousand imponderable
factors independent of the will." Are you so sure that love is not requisitioned? Not
directly, to be sure, but we can to a certain extent incite it, open the way for it, and
help to awaken it. See how matters come to pass in certain "arranged marriages." A
meeting is arranged in which the parties concerned get acquainted. They have never
seen other, and at the outset they are perfectly indifferent toward each other. But
notice the exchange of looks. Despite their concern to conceal their pleasant
surprise, the exchange of glances is very enlightening and we easily surmise the
following reflections. "What pretty eyes she has," he notices. And she is thinking:
"He is good looking." Then, he says: "I like her serious and modest manner." Then,
after he has retorted with a happy repartee, she says: "How intelligent and witty he
is." And so on. They find out more about each other; they study each other; they
discover one another. They accumulate the wherewith for the work of idealization
which will be in the making during the hours to follow. Since everything seems to
point to their eventual marriage, the parents will arrange for later meetings which in
turn will lead to new discoveries. So much so that at the end of six months both
partners are convinced that they have found the pearl of great price and that God
created them especially for each other. The announcement of the engagement has
all but to be made. The curious thing about it all is that the same thing would have
happened had a different candidate been involved. We might note this also:
sometimes it suffices that this evolution of love takes place on the part of one only.
The other becomes aware of how much he is loved, and is touched by it. This
prepares the way for the rest, and soon love is returned. Love attracts love.”

We all know the spark of pure love. There is a difference between a love of another
because of lust and the love another because of chastity. This spark of love (that of chastity),
which only lasted for no longer than 2 minutes was indescribable. During this transport of love I
said two Hail Mary's in thanksgiving of the charity shown by the Blessed Virgin Mary. (It roughly
takes me about a minute to say a Hail Mary). If you were to combine all the sinful wicked
pleasures I had for over the past eight years, it is like a drop of water in comparison to the
ocean. The ocean represents the intensity of this holy chaste love that lasted for only about two
minutes. The love was so intense I could not lay still on my back my body was tossing and
turning. What did this event do? The night before I was fettered, but after that event I had that
bond broken. I suspect in these upcoming days there will be many more battles to come!
“Be that as it may I shall say no more than to assure you, in the words of Blessed Alan de

35. I am an adulterer in the sense that I love chastely another woman besides the Blessed Virgin Mary.

23
 la Roche, that the Holy Rosary is the root and the storehouse of countless blessings. For
through the Holy Rosary:
Sinners are forgiven
Souls that thirst are refreshed
Those who are fettered have their bonds broken
Those who weep find happiness
Those who are tempted find peacefulness
The poor find help
Religious are reformed
Those who are ignorant are instructed
Living learn to overcome pride
The dead (the Holy Souls) have their pains eased by suffrages.” 36

The Story of a Soul, Saint Therese of Lisieux, Page 188: “On another occasion she
related the following incident: A few days after the oblation of myself to God's
Merciful Love I was in the choir, beginning the Way of the Cross, when suddenly I felt
myself wounded by a dart of fire so ardent that I thought I should die. I cannot
describe the transport, and no comparison would convey an idea of the intensity of
the flame. It seemed as though an invisible force plunged me wholly into fire... But
what fire! What sweetness! Footnote: The great St. Teresa of Avila (Spain), reformer
of the Carmelites, who completed her autobiography in 1562 at the command of
her confessor, gives there an account of the following vision, I saw – she says – an
angel very near me in bodily form, an unusual thing, for though angels are often
represented to me it is only by intellectual vision. He was rather small and very
beautiful, and his face shone so brilliantly that he appeared to be one of the
seraphim who look all on fire with divine love. He had in his hand a long golden dart
tipped, I thought, with fire- which he seemed to me to thrust several times though
my heart, leaving me wholly inflamed with a great love of God. The Saint died in
1582, and while her body lies incorrupt at Alba de Tormes, her heart, bearing
distinctly the mark of the fiery dart, is preserved at Avila.”

Agony: 20 June 2008

“And thy own soul a sword shall pierce.” 37 I thought to myself, if there is another way I can
suffer more for Mary's and Jesus's sake. What, I thought, could I offer? I must show my
faithfulness to God by doing His will. One has to remember ever since I was eight years old I
wanted to get married. However, that is my will not God's will. God's will is for me to be a
religious. So this is how I am to suffer. The greater love I have for Stargazer the greater my
suffering will be for when I leave her for the priesthood. And knowing that one day I will have to
depart Stargazer, that alone is bringing much agony. In addition, it is indeed a great test to prove
my faithfulness to my vocation, especially a wretch like myself, that I need God in all
circumstances and cannot do without Him. For example, the love that Mary had for Jesus was
much more, compared to the love I have for Stargazer. But Mary gave up Jesus to satisfy Divine
Justice for men's sins. I offered up Stargazer for the sake of satisfying Divine Justice for my sins. I
am offering the sorrow I will have, for the reparation of satisfying Divine Justice, for the grace of
her conversion, and for the release of the poor souls in purgatory. “For what is your life? It is a

36. The Secret Of The Rosary, Page: 86

37. Luke 2:35

24
vapour which appeareth for a little while, and afterwards shall vanish away.” 38
“Sometimes, indeed, it happens that what we ask of God we do not obtain. But it is then
especially that God looks to our welfare, either because He bestows on us other gifts of higher
value and in greater abundance, or because what we ask, far from being necessary or useful,
would prove superfluous and injurious. God, says St. Augustine, denies some things in His mercy,
which He grants in His wrath.” 39 So as of right now I am terrified, because my prayer was heard. I
obtained an intense chaste love for Stargazer, although it was not close as the one I had received
for Mary. I do not know if God granted this prayer as a punishment for my foolishness or for truly
trying to convert Stargazer. “With fear and trembling work out your salvation.” 40
“The brother of a king of Hungary used daily to recite the office of Mary. He once fell
dangerously ill, and then made a vow of chastity to the Blessed Virgin if she would restore him to
health, and he immediately recovered. His brother, however, afterwards died, and he was going
to be married; but just before the celebration of the nuptials he retired to his room to say his
accustomed office. When he came to these words in it, 'How beautiful art thou, and how comely!'
he saw Mary, who said, 'If I am beautiful as thou sayest, why dost thou now leave me for another
spouse? Know if thou leavest her, thou shalt have me for a spouse, and the kingdom of heaven
instead of that of Hungary.' The prince then fled to a desert near Aquileia, where he lived a holy
life.” 41

Dream of Lucifer Night of 12 July – 13 July 2008

“For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood; but against principalities and power,
against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high
places.” 42 On his head was that of horns as though you would see on a ram or goat. His eyes,
were a hideous yellow color like as if it was made out of sulfur. His eyes I remember most
distinctly. His whole face looked like it was burnt. His face had an intense red glow. Just like one
would heat iron up at a blacksmith, the iron when it is in the furnace for a long time retains a
incredibly bright a red glow, which allows the blacksmith to mold or form into its desirable object
whether a tool or weapon. I had one glimpse of his face. What he said to me were hideous words,
not that I remember to be blasphemous by any means. But what he would do to me, as in
torture. I remember being dragged endlessly as if I was being dragged into the depths of Hell.
The tone of voice, the sound which came out of that being's mouth. If I could only put into words!
That made me cry out first to St. Michael then Blessed Virgin Mary. My heart raced faster and
faster. I woke up almost panting like a dog. I had this absolute fright/terror throughout my whole
body, so bad I found it difficult to breathe at first. Which could confirm many other accounts of
Lucifer. That anyone who would look upon this devil, would die of fright, unless supported by the
grace of God. And I cannot, but agree.

The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Hell, Heaven, Father Martin Von Cochem:
“Besides what has been already mentioned, the terrible appearance of the evil
spirits makes death yet more alarming to us. It is the opinion of many of the
Fathers, that every one, when expiring, sees the evil enemy, at any rate at the
moment of drawing his last breath, if not before. How appalling this sight is, and

38. James 4:15

39. Council of Trent, Page: 480
40. Philippians 2:12
41. The Glories of Mary, Example: 53
42. Ephesians 6:12

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 with what terror it must inspire the dying, exceeds the power of words to declare. It
is related of Brother Giles that one day, when he was praying in his cell, the devil
appeared to him in so frightful a shape, that the Brother lost the power of speech,
and thought his last hour had come. As his lips could not utter a sound, he raised
his heart in humble supplication to God, and the apparition vanished. Afterwards,
when relating what had befallen him to his brother-monks, he trembled from head
to foot as he described the hideous aspect of -the adversary of mankind.
“Then going to St. Francis, he asked him this question: Father, have you ever
seen anything in this world the sight of which was so horrible that it was enough to
kill one to behold it ?
“And the Saint replied: I have indeed seen such a thing; it is none other than
the devil, whose aspect is so loathsome that no one could gaze upon it even for a
short time and live, unless God specially enabled him to do so.
“St. Cyril also, writing to St. Augustine, says that one of the three men who
were raised from the dead told him: As the hour of my departure drew nigh, a
multitude of devils, countless in number, came and stood about me. Their forms
were more horrible than anything imagination can conceive. One would rather be
burnt in the fire than be compelled to look upon them. These demons ranged
themselves around me, and reproached me with all the misdeeds I had ever done,
thinking to drive me to despair. And in fact I should have given way before them,
had not God in His mercy come to my succour. Here we have the testimony of one
who actually had learnt by his own experience how frightful the appearance of the
evil enemy is, and who declares that nothing can be more horrible than the form the
devil assumes.”

Take up the Standard of the Cross 14 July 2008

An email from His Holiness to encourage our zeal: “Will God conceal from the wicked that
which serves for their salvation? No; but while they are running after the pleasures of this life, as
St. Gregory says, they see not the misfortunes trading in their footsteps, and as consideration of
the future makes them uncomfortable in the midst of their worldly pleasures, they remove the
terrible thought far from them, and thus run with eyes blindfolded in the midst of their pleasures
into eternal flames. Not God, but they themselves hide the knowledge of all that is for their
peace, and thus they perish. Thus speaks Fr. Leonard Goffine for last Sunday. Let us then set
aside the pleasures of the world and take up the standard of the Cross and live with an ardent
desire for our true home, Heaven.”
This was the day the Stargazer told me that she had a boyfriend. Which did not really
matter to me whether or not she had one. My real purpose of loving her chastely was to suffer.
That my zeal would inflame me with the ardent desire of saving souls, her's especially. In
addition to all of that, by suffering dearly from sorrow I would detach from the world and all its
foolish vanities. “A third motive which out to inspire the second conversion is the love of souls
which need to be saved, a love which is inseparable from the love of God, because it is at once
the sign and the effect of that love. This love of souls ought in every Christian worthy of the name
to become a zeal that inspires in all virtues.” 43 However, I was dreading how it would end. If she
did not have a boyfriend, and we might have actually dated I would have run the risk of possibly
losing my virginity. But if she did have a boyfriend, then my heart would miss her. Which in the
end, would have happened anyways.
43. The Three Ways of the Spiritual Life, Page:44-45

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 “Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave,
and the Lord hath taken away: as it hath pleased the Lord so is it done: blessed be the name of
the Lord.” 44 So now I carry my cross with sorrow and joy. I am happy God has protected my
virginity once again. I am in sorrow for all the souls who know not God and the Catholic Faith.

Dream of My Grandmother: 2004-2005 Possibly

This story I do not know where to place it chronologically speaking, for I cannot recall so I
have saved it at the end. I do not recall if I had prayed to God wondering what happened to my
Grandmother when she died or if this came out of the blue. I thought this dream was before she
had died when she was in the hospital. The dream starts off me sitting at the dinner table in my
house. My grandmother having her hand on my shoulder saying, “As soon as I get to heaven
everything will be alright.” What I have written is a close approximation to what I remember. By
the statement in those words, she might be in purgatory. Only the Lord knows. "It is therefore a
holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead, that they may be loosed from sins." 45

Conclusion:
I, Phil Friedl, have done my utmost to give you the most exact details in regards to the
spiritual and supernatural part of my life. The blessings I have received by God I pray will open
your heart to the true holy Catholic faith, and the road to salvation. I pray that the Lord will
preserve me from moral, theological, and fallible error in this autobiography. I hope that this
paper will bring glory to God and His Majesty. Outside the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church
headed by Pope Michael the first, no one can be saved. “And if he will not hear them: tell the
church. And if he will not hear the church, let him be to thee as the heathen and publican.” 46

"The Catholic Faith alone produces miracles, which are never seen among heretics. Plants of this
sort cannot grow in a soil cursed by God; they can take root only in that Church where the True
Faith is professed . . . God cannot sanction the performance of a miracle except in favor of the
true religion; were He to permit it in support of error, He would deceive us." 47

I sent my paper to the Holy Office on 4 December 2007 1801 and I had received corrections for
it on 6 December 2007 0728. It did not however have many stories after that time. But the
important correction is the following...

Error: “What grief fills my soul. I am still very concerned with not only my salvation but every
single person on this planet who is still alive.”

“We do not live on a planet! The word planet means wanderer and was given to the planets
because they wander throughout the sky. I know the word has been applied to the earth, because
many accept the heliocentric hypothesis as factual. However, this position was condemned by
the Church, when proposed by Copernicus and Galileo, because they had no proof and it
contradicts the traditional interpretation of Sacred Scripture.” - His Holiness Pope Michael 1st
On February 24, 1616, the Holy Office declared that the proposition That the sun is in the center
of the world and altogether immovable by local movement, was foolish, philosophically absurd,

44. Job 1:21

45. Second Book Of Machabees 12:46
46. Saint Matthew 18:17
47. St. Alphonsus Marie de Liguori, Bishop & Doctor of the Church

27
and formally heretical, inasmuch as it expressly contradicts the declarations of Holy Scripture in
many passages, according to the proper meaning of the language used, and understood by the
holy Fathers and theologians. They also declared that the proposition That the earth is not the
center of the world, and moves as a whole and also with a diurnal movement, was to deserve the
same censure philosophically, and theologically considered, to be at least erroneous to faith.

Analog (Science Fiction/ Science Fact) In an article entitled Science and Creation, Poul Anderson
puts forward the argument: such principles (as evolution and heliocentricity) have become so
fundamental that the complete overthrow of any of them would be a complete overthrow of the
sciences with which they are concerned. We would be practically back to Square One. I submit
that evolution is no longer a mere theory. It has become just such a basic principle.

“With this declaration he ends his arguments. I have done a great deal of research and to this
day there is no proof of heliocentricity presented by the scientific community. They merely take
this proposition as true on faith. And they complain when we have faith in God, and they have
faith in the teachings of several men, which have not bee proven or even subjected to the normal
scientific method.” - His Holiness Pope Michael 1st

(To Be Noted)
Defined by Google search, “heliocentric”
theory that the sun is in the center of the solar system.
-school.discovery.com/curriculumcenter/solarsystem/glossary.html

Work Cited Page

Begone Satan!
(A True Account of a 23-Day Exorcism in Earling, Iowa in 1928)

28
Woman Cursed by Her Own Father, Possessed from 16th Year till 40th Year
By: Fr. Carl Vogl
Translated by: Rev. Celestine Kapsner, O.S.B.
NIHIL OBSTAT: Rev. Alexius Hoffman, O.S.B.
IMPRIMATUR: Joseph F. Busch Bishop of St. Cloud, Minnesota July 23, 1935
Tan Books and Publishers, Inc. P.O. Box 424 Rockford, Illinois 61105 1973

Catholic Apologetics
(God, Christianity and the Church)
A Course In Religion For Catholic High Schools and Academics
By: Fr. John Laux, M.A.
NIHIL OBSTAT: Arthur J. Scanlan, S.T.D. Censor Librorum
IMPRIMATUR: +Patrick Cardinal Hayes Archbishop of New York August 27, 1928

Dogmatic Canons And Decrees

(Of The Council of Trent and Vatican Council I Plus The Decree on The Immaculate Conception
and Syllabus of Errors of Pope Pius IX)
NIHIL OBSTAT: Remiguis Lafort, D.D. Censor
IMPRIMATUR: +John Cardinal Farley Archbishop of New York June 22, 1912
Copyright 1912 by the Devin-Adair Company.

Mass and The Sacraments

(The Mass, Seven Sacraments, Indulgences, Sacramentals)
A Course In Religion For Catholic High Schools and Academics Book II
Written by Fr. John Laux, M.A.
NIHIL OBSTAT: J.M. Lehlen Censor Librorum
IMPRIMATUR: + Francis W. Howard Bishop of Covington, Kentucky March 25, 1932
Copyright 1934 by Benziger Brothers
Copyright 1990 by TAN Books and Publishers, Inc.

The Catechism Explained

(An Exhaustive Explanation of The Catholic Religion: A Practical Manual For Use of The Preacher,
The Catechist, The Teacher And The Family)
By: Rev. Francis Spirago Professor of Theology
Edited By: Rev. Richard F. Clarke, S.J.
NIHIL OBSTAT: Arthur J. Scanlan, S.T.D. Censor Librorum
IMPRIMATUR: +Patrick Cardinal Hayes Archbishop of New York October 18, 1921

The Autobiography of St. Anthony Mary Claret

Nihil Obstat: Emanuel Milagro, C.M.F. (Censor Librorum)
Imprimi Potest: Stephen Emaldia, C. M. F. (Provincial Superior 28 February 1945
Imprimatur: +John Joseph Cantwell, D.D. Archbishop of Los Angeles 2 March 1945

The Sinner's Guide

By: Venerable Louis of Granada
Translated by a Dominican Father

29
Vidimus et Approbabimus:
F. C. H. Mc. Kenna, O.P.
Fr. J. L. O'Neil, O.P. Revisores Deputati New York November 15, 1883
IMPRIMI POTEST: Fr. M. D. Lilly, O.P. Prior Provincial Province of St. Joseph November 15, 1883
IMPRIMATUR:
John J. Williams, D. D. Archbishop of Boston By his Vicar General November 22, 1883
Copyright © 1883 C. H. McKenna.

The Glories Of Mary

By: St. Alphonsus Liguori
We hereby approve of this translation of the Glories of Mary, and cordially recommend it to the
faithful. Nicholas Card. Wiseman, Archbishop of Westminster
Given at Westminster of the Feast of Saint Alphonsus de Liguori, A.D. 1852
Second Edition
We heartily recommend this translation of the Glories of Mary to all the disciples of her Divine
Son. Henry E., Archbishop of Westminster. Aug. 11. 1868

The Holy Bible

(Douay Rheims Version)
Imprimatur: James Cardinal Gibbons Archbishop of Baltimore September 1, 1899

The Priest The Man of God His Dignity and Duties

By: St. Joseph Casfasso
Originally published by Radio Replies Press, Inc. St. Paul, Minnesota.
NIHIL OBSTAT: Jacobus Mitchell Censor Deputatus
IMPRIMATUR: +Michael Browne Episcopus Galviensis

The Secret Of The Rosary

By: St. Louis De Montfort
NIHIL OBSTAT: Gulielmus F. Hughes, S.T.L. Censor Librorum
IMPRIMATUR: +Thomas Edmundus Molloy, S.T.D. Archiepiscopus-Episcopus Brooklyniensis.
Brooklyni die XVI Julii 1954

The Guardian Angels Our Heavenly Companions

NIHIL OBSTAT: William J. Blacet. J.C.L. Censor Librorum
IMPRIMATUR: +John P. Cody, S.T.D. Apostolic Administrator and Ordinary
Diocese of St. Joseph August 29, 1956

The Art of Prayer

By: Martial Lekeux O.F.M.
IMPRIMATUR: H.H. Pope Michael I, Bishop of Rome, July 8 2008

"sex." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton
Mifflin Company, 2004. 28 Aug. 2007. <Dictionary.com
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sex>.

30
"sexual intercourse." WordNet® 3.0. Princeton University. 28 Aug. 2007. <Dictionary.com
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexual intercourse>.

"virginal." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 28 Aug. 2007.

<Dictionary.comhttp://dictionary.reference.com/browse/virginal>.

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