Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
Timothy Bowen
ISBN-13:978-1461175513 ISBN-10:1461175518
Published by Timothy Bowen and Thomas Bryan McSweeny Edited by W. Ryan Bufford
First Printing 2007 Second Updated Edition 2011
OTHER TITLES BY TIMOTHY BOWEN Hallucinating Arkansas Voices of Chaos Jonesboria Discordia
PLEASE REQUEST THESE BOOKS IN YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY Official Blog: http://popetimothybowen.blogspot.com/ Fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Timothy-Bowen/172138416174586
Timothy Bowen
CONTENTS
OPEN WIDE
. . . . . From the Mouths of Babes to the Pit of Despair Like The Widows Solemn Dance Dream One Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts Upon Forgetting Dreams The Act of Waiting Explanation Mark I Wanna Go Down Today Dream Two This Ham Spread Sandwich Really Rocks! Things I Do Without Dream Three Running Dream Four Dumb Dumb Diddly Dumb Do the Europeans Really Do All That? Everybodys Got One Xander and D Kicking Ass in Heaven DIVE RIGHT IN . . . . . Cannot Find Server My Cat Steevie Some People Adjustment When I Cant Sleep Was I Tripping? Pieces of Comfort Part ONE Focus Makes Good Features Dream Five Many Silly Names Jonesboro Howling at the Howler Yep To Be Discarded Knowing Myself Obscure Metaphors are Stupid Dream Six Pieces of Comfort Part TWO 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 35 36 37 38 39 40
Timothy Bowen
ABNORMALITY
. . . I Am Dream Seven Pieces of Comfort Part THREE Stars Under My Toenail Thank You Alan Moore Is the Page Number of This Poem Significant? Oh Mercy! Dream Eight Make Pretty Things Tontons Macoute Open the Gates Kerry Wendell Thornley PRESTIDIGITATION . . . Afterward to first printing Afterward to updated second edition
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Timothy Bowen
Timothy Bowen
Timothy Bowen
OPEN WIDE
The mouths look empty Open wide enough to look So now it begins
Dream One
I'm all action movie with the black and red team trying to find orange team who advertise on milk cartons when I read one I realize they are me and it just makes me thirsty I attack the soda machine until it gives me correct change then I wake up thirsty and get some water
Explanation Mark
To steal- rip off be a scandalous hoe yeah I rob oooohhh...BETRAYAL! That was "mine" you "took" it from me Deceit - Lies - Manipulation C- O- N- T- R- O- L such an urge to SMASH such an urge to BECOME FOOL!!! There is no "Control" machine! (note the power in them 4 letter words)
Dream Two
Im with a pal of mine, hes kind of a hick But hes really cool Anyway, so there is this old Indian tribal medicine man In the closet. People are feeding him nails and rope and such And he vomits out belt buckles for them. When its my turn I feed him some pizza But do not get a belt buckle. Which is really sad. Since I sure did want one. The one my pal got was neat.
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Things I Do Without.
I dont need no bee-bop An I aint got no shoes I have more masks Than I can keep track. An smokin makes me cool. I dont need no red fox Alone or in a box Im a traveling salesman. You wanted to let me in Hey, my name is Tim. I dont need no beat box An I aint got no clue Im just flushing porches I dont need no TV To wash away my blues.
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Dream Three
Mike Roach is this kid I used to know, for real. Im house sitting for him with my girl, see? This Puerto-Rican lady comes to the door And asks if the Roachs are home. They are not. So we get taken outside to her van. Where 4 men are festively dressed And play their fancy guitars for us. Mike comes home, asks if I went to the house at the end of the street. No, why? Theres a witch who lives there, evil old thing. Ive been in love with her youngest daughter since I was a child. The Puerto-Rican lady? No, shes awesome. Did you enjoy the show?
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Running
Oh fuck! This really hurts!!
Uphill uphilluphill Pant pant groan Dont think Im going to be able To go any farther If I just wasnt so fat
Wait
DOWNHILL!!!
RUNNING!!
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Dream Four
Jacobs Dead! Long live Jacob!! The Freemasons are digging a ditch They throw the body in Lines form and everything is nice and formal Jacobs Dead! Long live Jacob!! His grandfather holds the highest degree Thirty mother fucking three He starts the dance: First he spits in the ditch Yells, Fuck Martin Luther King, Jr. !! Jacobs Dead! Long live Jacob!! Down the line they do the same They even make the one black guy join in Im really sad and this is all Very fucked up.
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DIVE RIGHT IN
Down here it seems calm Still waters breathe on me now This pit is so deep
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My Cat Stevie
Me and Stevie are two of a kind, we are Lazy, ornamental, suckers for affection A little dirty, a little tubby Quite a bit oblivious to whats going on around us We both prefer the good chair on the carport And get a kick out of harassing the feral cats It seems the main difference between us Is that my parents let me sleep inside
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Some People
Would take driving into a train As a sign to take a different path But youre not one of them, are you? You rebel.
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Adjustment
Mad twitching towards clouds Trying hard to remember what The clear light showed me Chemical dream Crazed primal bearing fangs Seizing my body Bonding me oh my brother Pull me from the flames Sedate me
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Was I Tripping?
That felt good I forgive you You simply had More courage Than me I would have Done the same thing I could have Done the same thing You were there for m me When I couldnt be There for you And I forgive you
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Dream Five
I keep putting the coin in And more and more come out I keep collecting the coins And need another cup The waitress tells me the drinks arent free Lying bitch
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JONESBORO
You town You strange little town Growing but still stifled Vacant yet buzzing Will the coming changes To the world we live in Break you Will the coming people Moving into your growing Subdivisions Make you Why must you boo your state flag When a rival team comes to town Why must you sentence to death Anyone whos not your own Bizarre theocracy Ive heard the tales Of the parks silent Ignorant fear Ive seen your flat fields Year after year But I still love you Sick little town Because we are the same sick
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I've seen the most gorgeous women hide their faces behind social constructs of self loathing building monuments to dark pasts they can't leave behind not forgetting to never forgive entire genders for one's disgrace I've felt currents pulse through my being from unmet lovers sending psychic shock waves across this vacant earth on holy days of new new aeon shaman building this tradition of sharing energy I've been the superconductor of waves flowing along trailer parks filled with my kin. Manifesting trinkets of meaning only in my personal mythologies sacred texts I scratch on dead trees during isolated binges of spectrums of emotions most feared. I've had pure angel faced seraph turn from me in disgust saying how I have no heart. Proclaiming me dark lord, shaking at my touch. Unwilling to look into my eyes out of fear of confirmation. I've had ethnic coworkers assert my angelic nature. Praising my soft heart and unyielding generosity my father calls a fault. Seeing just that mask. I wear them all. All the time I know skilled wielders of mythic reigns hiding out of town in secluded wooden castles, complaining how they won't accept them, flaunting footage of previous demonstrations of separation. I see things others don't. Some can't some won't try. I see energy in patterns of fractals flowing in perfect order of chaos. sometimes these energies take physical shape as visions 33
or I hear their story of all existence we all already know. I see great truths of my generation as truths of the old saying no thing is true. I exist in realities shared by tribes of many and tribes of few, both parallel, both false. I've seen soft timid creatures bare fangs at the site of blood. I've seen death in my arms puking in my mouth from underage junkies in country sides of majestic majesty. I've seen virginal truants feeling alone amongst hordes of this drug cultures jargon spewing minions sharing histories of disgrace. I've seen what was right in front of my face disappear with out reason, without meaning. I've seen myself assign definition where there was none alone in rooms full of comradely. I see fields of brown, Sky's of red. Grey ash covered faces horrified, running from flames. I accept this as being perfect. I see it's place. I've seen an image of myself touching infinity in ecstatic orgasm of all in its right place. I've seen you as wrong. I've seen you as love. I see you as a sex object. I see you as the only real enemy in my life I'm meant to destroy. I see you as part of the divine holy everything I will ever love or call a part of myself I'm willing to die for. I see myself mostly. Doesn't matter what I'm looking at or who I'm viewing it's introspection. You have this trait I'm proud of having. show it. Now we're one. You have a trait I'm ashamed of. Show it. Now we're two. I'm deceived. 34
Yep
so it seems there's a cat outside my door constantly scratching at it and meowing... but when I open it there's nothing out there... so I go smoke on the carport with the light on and a hammer..... sometimes my brain doesn't function right.
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To Be Discarded
constant repetition unspoken conduct rules recognized only touching our eyes straining hands plead for more WALKING OUT THE DOOR audience member cathode ray absorption a view so cruel sitting-----------o-----may I treat waiting---------o-----you like observation----o-----a princess WALKING OUT THE DOOR object of celibacy use just once and destroy boredom breeds repetition (idle hand-devil) motivation to change re-structure I'm aware of your foundation falling now usage, deceit. stagnation, wanting to be held remembrance. twitching, bruised. agreeable falling again. no more. ritual abuse WALKING OUT THE DOOR spooning. holding hands I watch you sleep your lips move you're dreaming of me again so much pain in such little contact WALKING OUT THE DOOR all meaning in symbols is defined by the artist yet for some reason I can't help thinking all magic is dead
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Knowing Myself
May I spin you my dear? Spin you until you truly feel all the purity of all the bliss holding onto all the oneness in awe of everything worshiping everything? everything... everything... that you are I am Dissolve ALL the separation and all the years and all tears of spending time and spending money and spending all those useless spent emotions you spent all you could spend on the ones you thought that you never even fucking wanted to feel in the first place! But it WAS your choice! So just let me spin you or at least watch me spin and maybe we can synchronize it and spin together 37
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Dream Six
I am a soldier Not sure if its the Army or Navy or whatever I keep hearing about my fellow soldiers Killing themselves By picking up the stoves And dropping them on their heads So I try it out I figure its better than fighting a war
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Comfort
down for anything which made her the best at the time power of language as the written word foreign exchange students the world turned shades of grey except her who was vibrantly glowing with color further imprinting desire for single mothers oh mother drug took me in her womb in their minds I am a liar un-focus on the flickering lights I'm not that desperate (I am) Alone (I am) oh god (I am) I am maybe I don't wanna finish anything anymore I wanna go down today perfect situation pictured I don't care if Mondays blue
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ABNORMALITY
Normally Id quit Abnormally Id give up Watch the penguin dance
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I Am
I am trying to get back on my feet You see, I slipped. I am working on making a life For myself I am fucking with you and wasting your time I am showing you my soul And my spirit My true self And my cock What do you think? I am a lazy no good drifter I am living I am a fool I am still trying to convince myself that I can do MAGIC! I am a domesticated primate I am Ol' Boy Floats I am 396 I am a Fenderson I am Pogo Pope 1111 Dope Pope I am Tyny Tymn I am Righteous among the nations I am a human individual I am a Damned Thing I am Cursed I am be spited, I am spit upon, pissed on, drove into a shell, and smiling I am all these things and I am not. I am suspicious 42
I am very paranoid Because I am very vain I am named after the man named Leary whose symbol was an eye in a pyramid Like that means anything REALLY I am a powerful enchanter (oh wait, didnt I already deny that?) Im laughing at my own farts I am not going to fit in your box Unless I want to I am a recovering drug addict I am a coward because I am writing this down instead of saying it to your face I am the one you want Until you get me I am a poet and I am a quitter and I am a winner and I am a you I am not Charles Bukowski; however He would know how to end this poem.
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Dream Seven
I woke up drunk You say you have the strangest dreams when you sleep with me and you're sure something bad is on its way cuz feeling this good shouldn't be well baby it's always calm before the storm Just watch
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Legba thrusts between Eris soft, velvety thighs. The e continues to fall. There is a rising tide of weirdness. All prayers are answered, sometimes with a no. Lee wrote all the best Sonic Youth songs. By the time you read this these will all be old ideas. Dont let that stop you from thinking theyre pretty. Have you ever seen a number? It is truly an uncanny ability to bring oneself to tears for no reason Faces do seem ugly when youre alone. The red hand started appearing again in front of my face. Everyone I see is a mocking, laughing enemy. This would come in waves
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Oh Mercy!
Oh please just a little mercy Because I dont know what to do Its not just another fancy fit My heart staged a fucking coup Oh please a little dignity At least just a steady pace I fucked it up, oh my dumb luck You think youre tired of loosing face? Green arms to hold me To alter raining age Blue face all smiling Eyes aflame and soothing
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Dream Eight
Shopping at Wall-Mart for costumes A child smiling at my heel He stops us to say Everyday is Halloween! The ceilings are so high Plants are kept in plastic pumpkins Now Im in a huge library I find the deck of the Moon I get the urge to steal And I successfully resist I shoot the golf balls with a machine gun I hold her so tight she calls me Glen Danzig I just want her close to me She smiles You finally said the word Feel Its like youre in a movie Shes recording all the audio on her computer
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Tontons Macoute
To make life as normal as possible Drinking blood from a wonderful horse Theres a turtle Sending signals from my bed thick wavy lines escape my head to only wonder what you said to make these lines become so red Youve done wrong brother And sit there with that smile
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PRESTIDIGITATION
To the left it goes Where it came from no one knows Playing with my toes
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one. First, around the time I started work on Memoirs, I found a great website and met a great man. The website is the headquarters for POEE/UK, and the man calls himself Rev. St. Synaptyx KSC. Syn had also found Lulu Press, and had been using it to publish Discordian Holy Books. Being a long time Discordian, with love for the Goddess Eris that rivals none, I took it upon myself to follow in this great mans large footprints. (Perhaps I should say Butprints in the Sand?) I spent the next month or so obsessively getting my own Discordian Tome written and published. Again, its not the best out there, but it was the best I could do at the time. Upon completion and publication of this work, The Jonesboria Discordia, I started compiling every single Discordian Holy work I could find. Being that most all of it is Kopyleft All Rights Reversed, there was nothing stopping me. If nothing else, this forced me to teach myself everything I could about formatting, editing, and designing books. Each book I finished looked a little nicer than the last, and taught me something new. These are all still available for free download (Kopyleft, remember?) at , and hardcopies, (Squid Juice on Dead Trees as we call them), available for purchase at http://www.lulu.com/JHESFC. (UPDATE: SOME OF THIS IS NO LONGER TRUE) The second blessing that led to this work came as a tragedy at first. One of the best friends Ive ever had, Xander Smith, died in a horrible accident. It crushed me. Xander was the most positive and life affirming human being Id ever met. He was also one of the first people I ever hung out with after moving to Arkansas. And though I thought I knew it during his life, I never fully realized until recently, he was also one of the best poets who ever lived. About a year after his death, and a few months after I published Memoirs, Xanders grandmother contacted me asking for help getting his poetry published. I gladly accepted, and Never Forget Me was published soon after. This was just
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the poems he had on his website. Turns out, he had written quite a lot in his short life. For the past year, Ive spent a lot of time typing, editing, formatting and designing books of his poems. At the time of this writing there are three published, many sold, and at least four more in the works. Doing this has taught me a lot about what makes a good poem, what makes a good poet, and basically what makes a good human. Xanders poetry is a wonderful reflection of how he lived. It is full of wonder, love and joy. Having to put my own work up against his has forced me to strive to write better, and Im grateful for the opportunity. All of Xanders work can be purchased online at http://stores.lulu.com/wilmabrecheen1 or some of the books can be found through just about any retail booksellers website, (Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, ect.), thanks to Lulu Press wonderful distribution service, and to his grandmother Wilma for purchasing the service. Lastly, I am blessed to live in such a bizarre world filled with such odd people. Every poem in this book is drawn from my life and the people in it. The Chinese have an ancient curse that goes May you live in interesting times. I find that with the right amount of imagination, this curse can easily be flipped around into a blessing. I Love You All Timothy Bowen July 29, 2007
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Thanks to the following ETERNAL VOICES: Dane Dormio - Ale Harris! Richard and Holly Bowen- Proud Parents
Amanda Makepeace - Artist, writer, free spirit.