6PFP - 6-pack and a fishing pole, as in "this patient doesn't need chemo, he needs 6PFP." - Usually referring to an end-stage patient who should go die somewhere else.

404 moment - The point in a doctor's ward round when medical records cannot be located. Comes
[3] from HTTP 404 error "Not Found".

Acopic/Acopia - Descriptive of a (usually elderly) patient with no acute medical but significant social problems who it is impossible to 'turf' out of the ED and who ends up being admitted

 

AGMI - Ain't Gonna Make It Agnostication - A substitute for prognostication. Term used to describe the usually vain attempt to answer the question: "How long have I got, doc?" [3]
[4]

     

Appy - a person's appendix or a patient with appendicitis ART - Assuming Room Temperature (dying)

Ash cash - UK peculiarity of house officers obtaining payment for signing cremation forms[5] ATS - Acute Thespian Syndrome (the patient is faking illness) Baby Catcher - an obstetrician [4] Bagging - manually helping a patient breathe using an Ambu bag attached to a mask that covers the face [4]

Bash cash - UK peculiarity of Registrars obtaining payment for medical reports on patients who have allegedly been assaulted[5]

 

Beached Whale - A patient who is unable to get out of bed. Blamestorming - Apportionment of blame after the wrong leg or kidney is removed or some other particularly egregious foul-up.[3]

Blood Suckers/Leeches/Vampires - those who take blood samples, such as laboratory technicians and Phlebotomists [4]

Bounce - The art of skillfully avoiding admitting a patient by finding a symptom which allows referral to another Speciality - alternative to 'Turf' (see below)

Bounceback - a patient who returns to the emergency department with the same complaints shortly after being released [4]
[4]

  

Bury the Hatchet - accidentally leaving a surgical instrument inside a patient CNS-QNS - Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient.
[1]

Code Brown - a faecal incontinence emergency. Often used by nurses and medical technicians requesting help cleaning up an unexpected bowel movement.[3][4]
[4]

 

Code Yellow - a patient who has lost control of his or her bladder

Coffin dodger - Descriptive of a (usually elderly) patient who persists in staying alive despite all natures attempts to the contrary

 

CTD - "Circling The Drain"

[1][3][6]

May also mean "Certain To Die"

Crump - When a patient tries to die on the medical practitioner. Usage: "My patient tried to crump on me repeatedly throughout the night".

DBI - Dirt Bag Index - multiply the number of tattoos by the number of missing teeth to give an estimate of the number of days since the patient last bathed.[1]
[1]

  

Departure lounge - geriatric ward

Dermaholiday - dermatology, considered to be a less-busy department. See rheumaholiday DFKDFC - Don't fucking know, don't fucking care - a diagnosis often applied to a surgery's most regular visitors. Most often treated with a low-dosage course of Amoxycillin.

DFO - Done Fell Out. Died. DFO is used when the death is not witnessed. "Carol Kirby DFOd before we got here." Also refers to syncope (fainting) in the Southern US.

  

DIC - Death Is Coming, Death In Cage - also an acronym for Disseminated intravascular coagulation Digging for Worms - varicose vein surgery [1] Disco biscuits - refers to the nightclub drug ecstasy. Usage: "The man in cubicle three looks like he's taken one too many disco biscuit".[3] Also means the drug quaaludes.
[4]

 

Doc in a Box - a small health-care center, usually with high staff turnover

Donorcycle - American nursing slang for a motorcycle, so named due to the amount of head trauma associated with motorcycle accidents, but less so with the body, making the perfect candidate for organ donation (noting the lack of helmet laws in some American states)[7]

    

DRT - Dead Right There EFT - Eleventh Floor Transfer (in a 10 floor hospital; refers to patient who is very close to death) Ex Arbor - Someone who is out of their mind; literally, Latin for "out of (their) tree". FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition F.BUNDY - Refers to slowly dying patient who is Fucked, But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet. Also TF.BUNDY: Totally fucked but unfortunately not dead yet.

FICOW - a fecalith in the circle of Willis - having feces in the central communicating circulation of the brain.

FLK - Funny Looking Kid - used of a child, usually newborn, whose appearance, while superficially normal, suggests investigation for congenital and genetic anomalies.[1][3] "Funny" in this sense means "weird", not "comical".

FOS - Full Of Shit, a diagnosis given to a patient that is likely not telling the truth or, alternatively, has a bowel obstruction.

Frequent Flyer - Patient who calls ambulance multiple times usually when they could seek help in better ways.[1]

    

Freud Squad - the psychiatry department FTD - Fixin' to Die

[8]

[1][4]

Gas Passer - an anesthesiologist (also Gasser, Gas Man or Gaswallah) GI Rounds - medical staff taking a break to eat lunch/dinner

[1][4]

GOMER - "get out of my emergency room" - a patient, usually poor or elderly, in the emergency room with a chronic, non-emergency condition. The name was popularized by Samuel Shem in his novel The House of God.
[9] [1][6]

  

GLM - good looking mum (MILF in the US) GPO - "Good for Parts Only
[1][3][6]

Granny dumping - Descriptive of the action of relatives or Nursing Home staff who allege a medically undetectable deterioration in the condition of an elderly person and thus resulting in prolonged admission to Hospital. Usually occurs immediately prior to a major festival e.g. Christmas, or a family holiday GROLIES - Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt.[1] Handbag positive - confused patient (usually elderly lady) lying on hospital bed clutching handbag [1] Hasselhoff - a term for any patient who shows up in the emergency room with an injury for which there is a bizarre explanation. Original Source: Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff, who hit his head on a chandelier while shaving. The broken glass severed four tendons and an artery in his right arm.
[3]

  

HP - Hispanic Panic, used to describe a Hispanic patient who believes their condition is worse than it actually is. This is generally a result of the perceived over-dramatic and theatrical nature of many Hispanic cultures.
[citation needed]

 

Jack Bauer - Doctor still up and working after 24 hours. (After the main character in 24)

JFDI - Just Fucking Do It - an order from stressed registrar/resident to argumentative know-it-all junior medical staff who are complaining and seriously underperforming during busiest on-call night from hell.

JFO - Just fell out. Used in the present tense when a person dies. "Carol Kirby JFOd. We saw the whole thing!"
[1][3]

 

LOBNH - Lights On But Nobody Home

LLS - Looks Like Shit - A first impression formed by emergency medical responders to a trauma patient showing signs of shock, such as pallor.

  

LOL - Little old lady Low voltage - a patient demonstrably lacking in intelligence M & Ms - mortality and morbidity conferences where doctors and other health-care professionals discuss mistakes and patient deaths (sometimes also called Death & Donuts) [4]

Milk Of Amnesia - Propofol, an anesthetic drug with a milky white color (and a reference to the term milk of magnesia).
[5]

 

NAD - No Abnormality Detected or Not Actually Done

NAI - Non Accidental Injury - when patient is suspected of having been assaulted but hasn't said so. Often used as code for suspected child abuse.

   

NBI - No Bony Injury or No Bloody Idea NFN - Normal For Norfolk (a rural English county stereotypically associated with inbreeding.) NOF - Fractured neck of femur O-sign - A patient is "giving the O-sign" when very sick and lying with mouth open. This is followed by the Q-sign - when the tongue hangs out of the mouth - when the patient becomes terminal.
[3][4] [3] [1][3]

 

Oligoneuronal meaning someone who is thick (not smart).

Off legs - UK standard diagnosis in LOL (see above) for whom the art of defying gravity involving the lower limbs has failed. Usually not associated with any remedial problem. PAFO or PFO - Pissed And Fell Over [1][3] Panmetabolopathy -a state wherein many (or all) metabolic parameters are out of bounds (usually associated with "Rule of Five" (see below))

 

     

PBBB - 'pine box by bedside' - refers to a patient expected to die shortly Pathology Outpatients - Common UK term referring to the Mortuary PGT - Pissed and Got Thumped [1][3] PITA - Pain in the Ass (a patient who constantly complains.) Polybabydadic - The state of having illegitimate children by several fathers, known or unknown.[10] Portcullis sign - The presence of the "O-sign" and "Q-sign" with the addition of the top set of false teeth having fallen to trap the tongue in place

  

PPP - Piss Poor Protoplasm - a patient endowed with inferior/defective genetic material Psychoceramic - Used in psychology to indicate that the patient in question is a crackpot. Pumpkin positive refers to the idea that a person's brain is so tiny that a penlight shone into their mouth will make their empty head gleam like a Jack-o'-lantern.[1][3]
[3][4]

   

Q-sign - see O-Sign

Ridiot someone who acts like an ass on Ritalin [4] Rear Admiral - a proctologist [4] Rheumaholiday - rheumatology, considered by hard-pressed juniors to be a less busy department. See dermaholiday
[1]

Rule of Five - means that if more than five of the patient's orifices are obscured by tubing, he has no chance of survival.[3]

 

Slasher - surgeon

[1]

Shotgunning - ordering a wide variety of tests in the hope that one will show what's wrong with a patient [4]

SOCMOB - Standing On Corner, Minding Own Business, referencing an assault victim who is lying about their injuries to avoid discussing their own illicit acts at the time of the attack.

 

Special K - Slang for the anesthetic and amnestic drug Ketamine. Status Hispanicus - An overly agitated Hispanic patient (often Caribbean, seldom Mexican) who cannot stop screaming about their condition without providing useful information.[11]

Testiculation - Description of a gesture typically used by hospital consultant "when holding forth on subject on which he or she has little knowledge". Gesture is of an upturned hand with outstretched fingers pointed upwards, clutching an invisible pair of testicles.[3]
[1][6]

 

TEETH - tried everything else, try homeopathy.

Tox Screen - toxicology screen, testing the blood for the level and type of drugs in a patient's system[4]

Triple E - Ethnic Emotional Episode, when the family of a minority patient becomes overly distressed and begins to interfere with their family member's treatment.
[1]

  

TTFO - Told To Fuck Off.

TTR - Tea Time Review [1] or Tattoo to Tooth ratio - see Dirt Bag Index, above. Turf - The art of skillfully avoiding admitting a patient by finding a symptom which allows referral to another Speciality - alternative to 'Bounce' (see above) UBI - "Unexplained Beer Injury" [1][3][4][6] UDI - "Unexplainable Drinking Injury" Vitamin H - A Haldol injection, used in the ER setting to rapidly sedate patients who display dangerous or destructive behavior that threatens the safety of hospital staff and other patients.
[12]

  

Whopper with cheese - Description of a woman with large pendulous breasts with moist intertrigo beneath them

 

WNL - Used for recording vital signs. It can mean "within normal limits" or "we never looked". Woolworth's Test - Anaesthetic term (if you could have imagined patient shopping in Woolies, it's safe to give a general anaesthetic) [1]

WTDB (Pronounced "whiskey tango DB") - White Trash Douchebag

 

AMF-YOYO* - "adios motherfucker, you're on your own" ART - "Assuming room temperature", used in reference to corpses.

  

ATFO - "asked to fuck off", instructed to go away. DBI - "dirt bag index" - a number calculated by multiplying number of tattoos and missing teeth. DIC - "death is coming" - colloquial interpretation of the initials for disseminated intravascular coagulation

    

FOOBA - "found on ortho barely alive" FLK - "Funny looking kid" FOS - "Full of shit", describing severe constipation that can be seen on an xray of the abdomen GLM - "good looking mom" GOMER - "get out of my emergency room"; patient, usually poor or elderly, in the emergency room with a chronic, non-emergency condition. Popularized by Samuel Shem in his novel The House of God.

  

GSW - "gun shot wound" (JCAHO approved abbreviation) HLF - Histrionic latin female LGFD - "looks good from door"; used to describe a difficult patient that you do not want to enter the room and interact with.

       

LOL - "little old lady" LOL FDGB - "little old lady fall down go boom" MVA - "motor vehicle accident" NKDA - No known drug Allergies or Not Known Didn't Ask. P4P - Penicillin for a penile discharge (back when it was indicated for such) SPAK - "status post ass-kicking" TBD - "total body dolor" -refers to complaint of pain everywhere TTR - "tooth to tattoo ratio" or "tattoo to tooth ratio" - man analogue of DBI. Because of institutional variation in which ratio the acronym represents, TTR is often only used in conversation where wider context can make the usage clear.

WNL - we never looked (alternatively within normal limits)

[edit]Relating  

to death

C/C- "Cancel Christmas" (dead) FUBAR - "Fucked up beyond all repair;" a patient who is so sick or trauma-injured that they are beyond help, terminal, e.g., the guy who tried to commit suicide with a shotgun, but only blew off half his head and was still breathing when the paramedics arrived.

 

DOA - dead on arrival (JCAHO approved abbreviation) GPO - "good for parts only"

     

JIC - "Jesus is calling" MFB - Measure for box NLPR - "no longer playing records" PBOO - "pine box on order"; see below NGMI - "not gonna make it" PBTB - "pine box to bedside"; indicates an imminent demise

[edit]Slang

terms

   

Overpriced Carpenter - orthopedist Orthopod - orthopedist Pecker checker / Cock Doc- urologist Unclear medicine - nuclear medicine, performed with nuclear I-suppose-atopes

[edit]Physical

exam signs

Chandelier sign - used to describe a patient who experiences extreme pain during a physical exam and thus "jumps up to the chandelier." Classically used to describe cervical motion tenderness from a pelvic inflammation.

  

O-sign - used to describe a comatose patient with his mouth agape. Q-sign - similar to an O-sign but with the patient's tongue protruding. Q-dot sign - n. similar to a Q-sign, but with a fly on the tongue. A poor prognostic sign.

[edit]Other

terms

    

Code Brown - fecal incontinence emergency Code Yellow - urination emergency Crump - v. to have a sudden change for the worse. Donorcycle - n. a motorcycle. Dump - v. arranging for a patient who should probably be admitted to your service to be admitted to another service or another facility. Also used as a noun, for example "This guy was a total dump from the private hospital."

   

Fascinoma - any interesting or amusing tumor or malignancy Gorked - adj. unresponsive and nonverbal, either due to sedation or medical condition. GI Rounds - n. a meal. (GI is an abbreviation for "gastrointestinal") I fell on it - invariably, the explanation given when a patient with a foreign object in his or her rectum is asked how it got there.

Incidentaloma - something found on a scan that requires action, even though it was not what the discoverer was looking for in the first place. "I found an incidentaloma in the adrenal gland". Likely to be benign in nature, but full of liability risks.

Knife and Gun Club - local street gangs and other criminal organizations, for example "We have a very active knife and gun club, so the trauma experience is outstanding."

Peek and shriek - to open a patient surgically, discover an incurable condition, and close the incision immediately

Snow - v. Accidentally giving a patient too much meds at one time and making the patient loopy and obviously in an altered state of consciousness, e.g. "Don't snow that patient with the Ativan and Fentanyl injections at the same time!"

 

Tough stick - n. a patient that it is difficult to draw blood from. Trainwreck (also "shipwreck") - adj. patient with multiple medical problems and complications that will keep one up all night

  

Treat and street - v. to treat a patient in the ER or clinic without admitting them to the hospital. Trauma handshake - n. a digital rectal exam. Every major trauma patient gets one. Turf - v. to transfer a patient to another service. For example "The GOMER was healed from his surgery but his diabetes was still uncontrolled, so we turfed him to medicine." Similar to a dump.

Two beers - the number of beers every patient involved in an alcohol-related automobile accident claims to have drunk before the accident

Two dudes - The usual answer when doctors ask a patient who beat them up, as in "I was walking down the street minding my own business when these two dudes jumped me for no reason." The implication is that if it were only one dude the patient would have won the fight.

Virgin abdomen - n. a patient that has never had abdominal surgery before, implying that there will be little intra-abdominal scarring.

   

Vitamin H - n. Haldol. Alternatively, Heroin, in the case of an addict. Vitamin K - n. Ketamine. Also called "Special K" (street name). Wall - n. A physician (usually a resident) adept at preventing admissions ("dumps") to his service. White cloud - used to describe a doctor on call who tends to have uneventful call nights. Ex., "Dr. Smith tends to have a white cloud-- she had only 1 admit last night." Contrast with "black cloud".