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Police Call 911, or look for the emergency police number in your community inside the front cover of your B.C. Tel phone book. Victim Information Line Call 1-800-563-0808. If you have a disability Call the 24-hour B.C. Tel Message Relay Centre at 711 (for TTY users with a hearing or speech disability); or Call 1-800-855-0511 (voice activated).
Contents
Introduction I Who this booklet is for I What this booklet is about I What is an advocate, or victim service worker? I. Violence against women in relationships What does it mean? I Some examples of abuse I What is against the law? I Are you the only one? I Women who are newcomers to Canada 2. Planning for your safety, and your childrens safety 3. Going to the police I Calling the police I What happens when the police come? I Getting to a safe place I Arrest I The bail hearing I Getting information about the case I The police prepare a report I Will the man be charged? I What if you dont call the police right away?
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5 5 7 8 9
11 13 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 19
4. If you leave a violent relationship I What about the children? I Your home I What to do about money I How to get legal help 5. The court process I Introduction I The Crown counsel I Being a witness I Victim impact statements I The first appearance I The trial I If hes found not guilty I If hes found guilty I Sentencing I After sentencing 6. What else you can do I Peace bonds (recognizance) I Restraining orders I B.C. Protection Order Registry I Criminal injury compensation I Suing your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner 7. What if you want to end the relationship? I Maintenance and support I Custody I Access I Separation agreements I Property 8. Who can help
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21 21 22 22 23 25 25 25 26 27 27 29 30 30 30 32 33 33 34 35 36 36
37 37 38 39 39 39 41
Introduction
what violence in a relationship is, I what you can do if your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner has assaulted you or
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threatened to assault you, or is criminally harassing you, what the police do when they are called, what the court process is, how to get a peace bond or a restraining order, what to do if you choose to end your relationship, and who can help with emotional support and legal advice.
Introduction advocate, or a victim service worker, can provide emotional support and can
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help you find out what your rights are, help you learn what you will have to do in court, help you by being with you in court, help you find out information about your case, and help you find information about the services that are available, and that you need, in your community.
An advocate or a victim service worker may also be able to help the police and other people in the justice system with your case. For example, they can talk to the police about
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interviewing you, I giving you information, and I helping you participate at interviews or in court. If you cant find an advocate or a victim service worker in your community, call the Victim Information Line at 1-800-563-0808.
When people talk about violence against women in relationships, they are usually talking about abuse. Abuse includes a range of behaviour from intimidation and threats to physical or sexual assault. An abuser uses threats and violence to gain power and control over his partner and take away her self-worth.
humiliating or degrading you in front of others I isolating you or stopping you from leaving the home (including removing the phone, taking the only vehicle when you live far from town, not letting you see friends or family) I yelling at you, insulting you, or calling you names
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constantly criticizing you, and blaming you for everything controlling and limiting what you do, where you go, who you see threatening to hurt you, your children, someone you know, or anything that is special to you (like a pet or something you treasure) frightening you by driving recklessly, or threatening you with a weapon breaking your things, damaging property taking your money or controlling all the money in the household and not letting you have any threatening to have you deported opening and reading your mail or other private papers following you or watching you wherever you are repeatedly phoning you (for example, at work, or in the middle of the night) forcing you into sexual activity that you dont want shoving, slapping, choking, punching, or kicking you hurting you with an object of any kind
Abuse may start out as verbal or emotional, and gradually increase to physical or sexual violence. After incidents of abuse, your partner or ex-partner may be very sorry or very loving. If you are involved with a man who is abusive, you may be feeling frightened, confused, and alone.
hits you or physically hurts you I threatens to hit you or physically hurt you, and you believe that he can do it I forces you to do things you do not want to do for his sexual pleasure Criminal harassment (stalking) Criminal harassment is unwanted attention: a pattern of threats and actions that makes you afraid for your safety or your childrens safety. It may make you feel you cant do what you want or go where you want. If anyone, especially an ex-partner, does any of the things listed below and makes you afraid for your safety, it is criminal harassment (stalking) and it is a crime:
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contacts you over and over again (for example, at work or at home in the middle of the night) I makes indecent phone calls to you, or calls you over and over and hangs up without speaking
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follows you or watches you or other family members (for example, parks outside your house) I threatens you or other family members or friends I sends you gifts you do not want
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threatens to destroy property or harm your pet does anything else that is threatening and that makes you afraid he will harm you
If any of the things described above are happening to you, call the police right away. Also, to help the police with your case, keep a written record of every incident, including what happened, the date, the time, and where it happened. Assault and criminal harassment are against the law. You have a right to protection.
Violence against women will call the police. In Canada, an average of two women are killed by their partners every week. It is hard for any woman to take action to stop abuse in a relationship. If you are a senior or a woman with disabilities you may be particularly dependent on your husband or boyfriend to take care of your daily needs. This could make it especially difficult for you to protect yourself from abuse. You may also feel particularly isolated because of language, pressures from family, racism, or because you are a newcomer to Canada. You may have more difficulty convincing people that the abuse is really happening. If you are a newcomer you may be afraid of being deported if you contact the police or a service that can help. (See the next section for what the law says about women who are newcomers to Canada.) If you are being abused, it is important to remember: Violence against women in relationships is not a private, family matter. Assault and harassment are crimes. If you are being assaulted or harassed, call the police.
If you have permanent residence status, you will not be deported if you leave the relationship, even if your husband is sponsoring you. I If you are sponsored by your husband and you leave him, you may be able to get welfare. (It is important to have your advocate or victim service worker with you when you apply for welfare.) I If you are a refugee claimant or you do not have permanent residence status, get legal help right away. Canadian immigration guidelines offer some protection to women who are being assaulted by their partners. I If you are sponsoring your husband and he assaults you, get legal help. You may be able to withdraw your sponsorship of your husband. If English is not your first language, you may be able to find a lawyer who speaks your language. Ask your advocate or victim service worker for the names of lawyers and interpreters.
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It can be very difficult to leave a relationship when you are being abused. But whether you choose to stay or to leave, your safety must come first. The police and court orders may be able to offer some protection, but there are limits to what they can do. To help keep you and your children safe, you need to have a safety plan whether you have decided to leave or stay in your relationship. A safety plan means thinking about what you need to stay safe, getting information, and talking over your plan with people who can help. Making a safety plan means doing things like:
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telling neighbours or friends to call the police if they hear frightening or loud noises, or if they see anything suspicious I memorizing the telephone number of a transition house or safe home for women I thinking about where you can go if you decide to leave (a place that is safe, like a transition house, where he will not know to look for you)
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putting some money in a safe place, a little at a time, and cancelling joint credit cards packing a suitcase for you and the children and leaving it with a friend putting an extra set of keys for the house and car in a safe place getting legal advice about your situation putting ID, passports, and other important papers for you and your children in a safe place (if keeping original documents is a problem, call the legal aid office closest to you for help with getting certified photocopies)
Read If you leave a violent relationship (page 21) and What if you want to end the relationship? (page 37) for more suggestions about your children and other safety issues. Remember, planning for your safety is something you need to think about on a regular basis, especially if your circumstances change (for example, if you move, have more children, become ill, or if your situation gets more abusive). Ask someone you trust to help you with your safety plan. It could be your advocate, your victim service worker, or a friend.
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that you are in danger, I what the man is doing or has done,
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if he has a weapon and what it is, if he has been violent before, if you have children with you, if either you or the children have been hurt, and if you already have a peace bond or restraining order.
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Going to the police The police should give you a card with their name and phone number on it, and your police case number (ask for this card if you dont get it). If your partner or ex-partner returns you can ask the police to come back.
Arrest
If the police arrest your partner or ex-partner, one of these two things can happen: He will be released, but the police or courts will make an order that tells him there are certain things he cannot do (for example, contact you, or go to your house); or
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He will be kept in jail overnight, and will have to appear in front of a justice of the peace or judge in a courtroom for a bail hearing, to see if he will be released and what the conditions are.
Going to the police counsel. The Crown counsel is the lawyer for the government who will tell the judge why your partner or ex-partner should stay away from you. Conditions of bail Ask your advocate or your victim service worker to help you find out from the Crown counsels office what the conditions of bail are. Keep a copy of the no-contact order with you at all times. If your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner does not do what the conditions of bail or the no-contact order say, he can be arrested again and charged with breach of bail or an order. This is in addition to the first charge of assault or criminal harassment. The investigating police officer will give you a card with his or her name and phone number and your police case file number on it. If your partner or ex-partner breaks any of the conditions of bail or a no-contact order, phone 911, or the police emergency number in your community.
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the organizations and services that can help you compensation for injuries how the criminal justice system works the status of the police investigation and the court case how the mans sentence will be carried out your right to privacy
For information about any orders against your partner or ex-partner, and to ensure that orders are registered, call the Victim Information Line at 1-800-563-0808.
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no charges are laid by the Crown counsel, and you are not satisfied with the Crowns decision,
you have the right to an explanation. You can also complain. Talk to your advocate or victim service worker to find out what you can do.
police or go in person to the police station to report the assault or harassment. If you can, take your advocate or victim service worker with you.
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Your home
Even if you leave the home at first, you may be able to get an order later from a judge saying that you have the legal right to stay in the home with your children. This is called an exclusive occupancy order. You need a lawyer to go to court with you to get this order. (See Who can help on page 41.) If you stay in the home and your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner is arrested, you may be able to get a no-contact court order saying he must stay away from your home. (See The bail hearing on page 16.)
If you leave
Also, if you already receive money, like a pension or disability cheque, contact the office that sends you the cheques to tell them you have separated from your partner. Give them your new address. Remember, it is important to tell the office(s) sending you money (income assistance, child support, pension, or disability) that you have just left an abusive relationship. If you have money in a joint bank account, take your money out right away. If you have credit cards in both your names, contact the credit card company to cancel them or get your name removed. If your pension or disability cheque is automatically deposited into your joint bank account, make other arrangements. If you own a house, car, or other property together, get legal advice.
to hire this lawyer for more help, ask how much she or he will charge you.
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Introduction
When a man is charged with assault or criminal harassment, he then has to go to court. This court process is difficult for anyone, but especially for a woman who has been assaulted or harassed. The case may move slowly through the system. At times you may feel as if you are the one who is being charged with an offence. It is important to remember, though, that many women who have gone through this process have found it helpful in the end, and that there are people who can help you. For example, it is a good idea to have your advocate or victim service worker with you as you go through the court process. This includes any interviews that you have with the police or Crown counsel, as well as court hearings and the trial itself.
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It is important to remember that the Crown counsel makes this decision and does not need your agreement to do so. The Crown counsel is not acting as your lawyer. He or she will consider if it is in the interests of the public to lay charges, and if it is likely that the judge will find your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner guilty.
Being a witness
If the Crown counsel decides that the case will go ahead, you are an important witness. You will be asked to testify (say what happened to you) at the trial. The Crown counsel is required to make every possible effort to interview you before the trial and explain what will happen in court. (In some areas of the province, the Crown counsel at the trial might not be the same person who first interviews you.) If you do not hear from the Crown counsel, call to find out about the progress of the case, or contact your advocate or victim service worker. If you need an interpreter, be sure to tell the Crown counsel before your interview, so that they can arrange an interpreter for your interview and for the trial. If you have a disability, let the Crown know what assistance you will need, such as special transportation. You will be given a paper called a subpoena. It tells you that you have to come to court and when the trial is going to happen. The subpoena will probably be delivered to you in person, but it may come in the mail, or you may have to pick it up from the police station.
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The court process If you decide that you do not want to be a witness, the case may still go ahead, especially if there are other witnesses or there is other evidence that the assault or harassment took place. However, the judge may tell you that you have to testify. If this happens, explain to the judge why you do not want to be a witness.
ordered to appear in front of the judge. At this first appearance, he will usually be asked if he intends to get a lawyer, and if he pleads guilty or not guilty. If your partner or ex-partner says he is guilty, there will not be a trial. The court will set a sentencing date when the judge will say what will happen to your husband, boyfriend, or expartner (see Sentencing on page 31). The judge may order him to go to a treatment program for abusive men, or to get treatment for drug or alcohol addiction. (You can talk to the Crown counsel about asking the judge to order treatment.) If your partner or ex-partner says he is not guilty, a trial will be held at a later date. If your partner or ex-partner has been in jail until the first appearance, the judge may now release him on bail until the trial starts. Usually, being released on bail will include the condition that he stay away from the family home and that he not contact you. This means that he cannot even telephone you, or give someone else a message for you. Another condition may be that he cannot have a gun or other weapons. You need to know about the conditions of bail. Ask your advocate, or victim service worker, who you should call to find out what bail conditions have been set, or call the B.C. Victim Information Line at 1-800-563-0808.
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The trial
Before your partner or ex-partners trial, you may want to visit the courthouse to watch some other trials, to see what happens. You can have your advocate, victim service worker, or anyone else you want go with you to see another trial. This person can also go to court with you for the assault trial. The Crown counsel will present their case first:
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The Crown counsel will present evidence to show that the offence happened. You will be called as an important witness. If you do not want to give your address out loud in court, be sure to tell the Crown counsel before the trial begins. I The Crown counsel may call other witnesses, such as the police, friends or neighbours, and perhaps your doctor. Your children will not be asked to be witnesses unless it is absolutely necessary. I If there are pieces of evidence, such as torn clothing, photographs of your injuries, a weapon, or medical records, the Crown counsel may present them as part of the case. I The Crowns witnesses, including you, will be questioned (cross-examined) by your partner or ex-partners lawyer. The lawyer defending your partner or expartner (the accused) will then present their case. The process is the same as it was for the Crown counsel. Often, your partner or expartner will be called as a witness, but not always. The defence lawyers questions may be
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more difficult for you to answer than the Crowns. That is because the defence lawyers job is to make your story seem less believable. In some cases, your partner or ex-partner may decide to defend himself without a lawyer. If that happens, you may have to deal with your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner questioning you when you testify. After hearing the facts presented by both sides, the judge will make a decision.
Sentencing
Before deciding on a sentence, the judge may ask for a pre-sentence report. A probation
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The court process officer prepares this report and may interview you. (Probation officers supervise people who are released on bail, and people who are found guilty but not sent to jail.) Be clear with the probation officer about any concerns you have about the safety of you and your children. The probation officer should have seen your victim impact statement if you completed one. If you wrote a victim impact statement right after the assault happened, you may want to update it. The information in it will help the Crown recommend a sentence, and will help the judge decide. If your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner is found guilty, these are some of the sentences he could receive: Conditional discharge If he follows certain conditions (like staying away from you and the children, getting counselling, attending a treatment program for abusive men or for drug or alcohol addiction) for a certain period of time, he will not have a criminal record. Suspended sentence and/or probation For a set period of time, he must follow all the conditions set by the judge in a probation order. Usually, one of these conditions is that he report to a probation officer. The judge may also order him to go to a treatment program for abusive men, or for drug or alcohol addiction. (The probation officer must tell you what conditions are in the order.)
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If he does not follow the conditions of the probation order, he can be arrested and sentenced for not following the probation order, as well as for the original offence. Jail If the assault was severe or he has committed criminal offences before, he might be sent to jail. He may be allowed to serve his jail sentence on weekends so he wont lose his job.
After sentencing
It is important to tell corrections staff, and the Parole Board, if your address or telephone number change. This is so they can send you up-to-date information about parole hearings and release dates for your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner. It is also important to stay in touch with your advocate and/or your victim service worker, for ongoing support and information.
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there are other legal steps you can take to protect your safety, and to get some money back for what the abuse has cost you.
works best if you apply for it yourself. The police can tell you how to apply. When you apply for a peace bond there will be a hearing in front of a judge. If you are granted a peace bond at this hearing, it is important that you get a copy and that you keep it with you at all times. If your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner breaks the peace bond, call the police right away. Tell them that you have a peace bond. If you dont have a copy of your peace bond with you when you call the police, they can find out about it by calling the Victim Information Line at 1-800-563-0808.
Restraining orders
A restraining order is an order a judge makes in civil court using the Family Relations Act. A restraining order tells the man who assaulted you that he cannot harass or threaten you. Civil courts deal with legal disputes that do not involve criminal charges, such as who will have custody of the children. Each person in the dispute has their own lawyer. There are several kinds of restraining orders. Usually you get a restraining order at the same time that you are dealing with something else in civil court (for example, if you are applying for custody or maintenance). If you want to get a restraining order, it is usually easier to do if you have a lawyer. If you cannot afford a lawyer, go to the nearest legal aid office to apply for legal aid. Tell the person
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What else you can do you talk to that it is an emergency. Make sure that the lawyer includes in the restraining order a statement saying that it can be enforced by a police or RCMP officer. Keep a copy of the restraining order with you at all times. If you call the police, tell them that you have a restraining order. If you do not have a copy with you when you call the police, they can find out about it by calling the Victim Information Line at 1-800-563-0808.
registered and the information on it accurate, so that you will be advised if your husband, boyfriend, or ex-partner is being released from prison. Call the Registry as soon as an order is made to make sure it is registered.
If you want to end the relationship, whether you are married or living common-law, talk to a lawyer or a family justice counsellor in family court. It is important to remember that if there has been violence in the relationship, mediation is rarely helpful. Tell the lawyer or counsellor if you do not want mediation services. If you cannot afford a lawyer, apply for legal aid. The following sections are about some of the things to discuss with a lawyer.
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line, for free from anywhere in B.C., at 1-888-216-2211. If the court has ordered the childrens father to pay maintenance or support, the B.C. Family Maintenance Enforcement Program may be able to help you collect the money from him. Call them for free at 1-800-663-7616 or in Victoria at (250) 356-8889.
Custody
Custody is a parents legal right to take care of the children. If you leave the relationship, apply right away to family court for a temporary custody order of your children even if you didnt take the children with you. You need a lawyer for this. Later, when you go to court to settle things, the judge will decide who gets custody based on what is in the best interest of the children. Read What about the children? (page 21) and Planning for your safety, and your childrens safety (page 11) for more information about the children. Guardianship Guardianship gives parents the right to make decisions about how their child is raised (including education, religious training, etc.). It is important to talk to your lawyer about this issue when making custody arrangements.
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Access
Access is the legal term for the childrens right to see the parent who does not have custody. A judge may decide that the father can see the children, even if he has assaulted you. You can ask for restrictions or conditions on the fathers access. Sometimes the judge may order specified access. The father will be allowed to see the children only if he follows certain conditions, like not drinking or not using drugs for 48 hours before the visit, not taking them out of the province, or seeing them only at specific times. The judge may also order supervised access, which means that the father can only see the children when someone else is there.
Separation agreements
A separation agreement is a legal document that says what you and your ex-partner have agreed to about such things as maintenance, custody and access, and dividing up your property. Before signing a separation agreement, get legal advice separately from your ex-partner.
Property
Whether you are married or living commonlaw, you have a right to a fair share of the family assets, such as the car, house, furniture, and other things that the family used together.
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For more information, see the booklets If Your Marriage Breaks Up and Living CommonLaw available from the Legal Services Society, in English only (turn to the back of this booklet for the Societys address).
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In your community
In the front pages of your phone book you will find a section called Community Services, which lists some of the organizations shown below; others are listed in the blue or white pages. If you have trouble finding phone numbers for the organizations listed below, talk to your advocate, your victim service worker, or call or visit your local library for help. Aboriginal I Band social development offices I Native child and family workers I Native courtworkers I Native justice workers I Native friendship centres I Tribal council offices Children I Helpline for Children: Call 0 and ask for Zenith 1234 I Transition houses Gay & Lesbian I Gay and lesbian information line: Call 1-800-566-1170 Legal I Dial-A-Law
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Family justice counsellors I Family Maintenance Enforcement Program I Lawyer Referral Service I Legal Services Society (legal aid) Newcomers to Canada I Immigrant service agencies I Multicultural agencies Safety I B.C. Tel Project Safety: For emergency phone hook-ups, call (604) 528-8769 I Crisis centres I Transition houses I Womens centres
1-800-563-0808 The operators will talk to you about your problem and refer you to a service or contact in your community. This is a free, confidential service. They can also give you information about the B.C. Protection Order Registry and any orders you have registered.
If its an emergency
Check inside the front cover of your B.C. Tel phone book for emergency numbers in your community. If you have a disability, call the 24-hour B.C. Tel Message Relay Centre at 711 (for TTY users with hearing or speech disabilities) or call 1-800-855-0511 (voice activated).
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Notes
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Canadian Cataloguing in Publication Data Main entry under title: Speaking of abuse: violence against women in relationships Co-published by Justice Institute of British Columbia. ISBN 0-7726-3735-0 1. Wife abuse - British Columbia. 2. Abused women - Services for - British Columbia. 3. Abused wives - Legal status, laws, etc. - British Columbia - Popular works. 4. Legal assistance to abused wives - British Columbia. I. Justice Institute of British Columbia. Public Legal Education Program. HV6626.23.C3S64 1998 362.829209711 C99-960005-2