Scene: the forest of ent, many trees, merry and pippin) N: Let me tell you a story.

a story about the one Wreath. Long, long ago, nine wreaths were forged and given to men. The dark lord sauron, however, forged a wreath of his own in the land of Mordor, in the gardens of Mount Bloom. He lost the wreath and 2 and a half thousand years later, the wreath came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the misty mountains.For 500 years, it poisoned his mind G: (holding wreath, writhing on the floor) The precious, my beautiful precious N: One day, it abandoned gollum (wreath shoots out of hand, pulled by fishing wire) and was picked up by an unlikely creature: a Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire B: Oh what a pretty wreath! (picks up wreath, leaves stage) N: You may think this is what the story is about. About the one wreath and about Frodo and how he destroyed the ring. But our story takes place elsewhere, in the Forest of Ent, where we find Merry and Pippin conversing with Treebeard and his followers. T1: Ohmygosh. Like who are you? T2: They must be orcs! Here to cut us down! M: Were not orcs! P: Were here to help you! Trust us! T3: Dont listen to them treebeard TB: Hmm, I dont know who to trust nowadays. I only trust the White Wizard. T1: Ohmygosh, like, hes right you know. M: What are orcs? T4: Orcs are nasty, ugly creatures. They come in here with their axes, grunting and grumbling and they chop down our friends. T5: Why would we need help from you mere hobbits anyway? M: You tell em Pip P: Well, the truth is, we need your help. The orcs are comming after us, they think we have the one wreath! T4: The wreath!?@!?$# What is that?! TB: One wreath to rule them all, one wreath to bring them. One wreath to find them all and in the darkness, bind them. T1: Ohmygosh! Like, Like, this is so scary girlfranz! T4: Why should we help you, you are luring the orcs into our forest anyway M: But you see, were the good guys! P: You dont want Sauron to get the ring, do you?! Trust me, with his outfit, he cannot pull the wreath off nicely, know what Im saying, girl? T1: I hear you! TB: We do not take sides in the affairs of men and orcs and the other creatures. M: But if you dont help us, the orcs will just make toothpicks out of you anyway! N: Just as the hobbits were arguing with the Ents, they heard grunting nearby. T2: Shhhh, I hear grunting nearby. T3: What grunting? I dont hear grunting. T5: I hear that! T4: I dont hear it! TB: Hush. I hear grunting. It must be the orcs. They sound disgusting, and theyre getting closer T1: Oh snappp, they gonna cut us downnn M: Be quiet! P: Quick, lets hide! (Orcs enter, arguing over bread) O1: I love bread. O2: I love maggoty bread. O3: I love maggots. O4: Ew, no way. Id like some meat. UH: FOCUS. were here on a job, we have to get some more trees for Saruman and find him the nasty little hobbits with the wreath. N: While the Orcs were bickering about bread, the trees stood as still as they could and allowed Merry and Pippin to hide behind them. O1: But,were hungry! O2: When we find the hobbits, we can eat them! UH: NO. No ones eating the hobbits. O4: Why not!? O3: MMM, maggoty hobbits...

UH: No one is eating the hobbits, because i said so (T1s phone rings) UH: What was that? Whos there? where's the music comming from? T1: Ohmygosh, like, Im getting a text! (everyone gasps) O1: Its them! O2: The hobbits! O4: They look tasty! O3: MM, Maggoty hobbits.... UH: Give us the halflings! O1: Or well take them by force TB: They are not yours to take. T5: YEAH...what he said. UH: If you dont hand them over, Ill chop you down! (Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn burst in) L: STOP THE CHOPPING! A: RELEASE THE HALFLINGS! G: I have a question-oh wait, I have two L: Not the time Gimli, not the time. G: It was important Legolas,youre always cutting me off! L: Well i wouldnt have to cut you off if you said something intelligent every once in a while L&G: ARAGORN! A: Both of you, Be quiet! TB: Who are you? L: Were here to save you. UH: You have no place here. T1: Ohmygosh, like, can you guys keep it down, like I cant read my text T2: Just ignore him. UH: I want the wreath. O1: I want some bread! O2: I want some maggoty bread! O3: I want some maggoty hobbits! O4: MMM, maggots... UH: FOCUS! L: Dont touch the halflings! A: They are under our care! G: (says somehing dumb) M: If youre looking for the wreath, we dont have it UH: We dont care! Attack! S: (gollum slides in, writhing on the floor) AGHHH. BBJSAGPOWK. MY WREATH, MY PRECIOUS WREATH. GIVE IT TO US! L: Grab the Hobbits! P: This ones for the shire! T4: Step on him Treebeard! T3: Kick them! O3: I LOVE MAGGOTS! S: MASTER IS TRICKSY. THEY TOOK IT FROM US! O4: I want to eat hobbits! O2: What about their legs? O1: They dont need those! G: (something dumb) S: THE PRECIOUS! A: Oh for the love of Rohan! N: What in the name ofM: For the shire! T1: Ohmygosh. Like, Like, Im out of minutes guys! N: Oh be quiet! All of you! (silence) TB: Who do you think you are? UH: Yeah? N: I - AM THE WHITE WIZARD (pulls off cloak dramatically, to reveal normal clothes) G: (gasps very loudly, unnecessarily shocked)

L: Uhhhhh, you dont look like the white wizard to me... A: Yeah, whats with the black clothes? N: I didnt have time to change, okay?