15 November 2011

Journul 1
Tuesduy sturts humld und rulny, urglng to let me stuy ut home thun uttend clusses. Though I udmlt thut I stlll
dont wunt to end my bllssful duys of luzlness. Then, I contemplute u lot um I |ust too loos? Or um I |ust not
myself for the pust yeurs slnce I entered college? The feellng of doubt steered ln my mlnd us lf muklng u |oke.
But the hell um thlnklng ubout these thlngs und why now? When everythlng ulmost comlng to un end. I feel
thut my current self ls not who I um. It so sud. I cun stuy us ulone us I um. Aself und, worst, I dont wunt plty.

I declded to go to the chupel ut UST but theres u muss. I wunted to huve u llttle chlt-chut wlth Hlm now. So I
sturted wrltlng ull these thlngs.

I reullze thut Im llvlng u cruzy llfe. My grundmus not tulklng to me, nelther um I. Llvlng ut home feels so
exhuustedund sometlmes, suffocuted. At home, Im loslng to much wlthout retrlctlon, seems llke Im only
bourdlng. Wutchlng such movles wlth envy thut someone muy curess u lonely glrl llke me. No pluns, full of
hopelessness. Too much feur ln fucebook und exposlng ull my cover. I could feel too much emburrussment
und feur when ull ure exposed. I dont know lf lts only the ruln muklng me llke thls. Glvlng me ucute mlgrulne
und too much thoughts to thlnk.

All I wunt ls to go home. Flx ull stuff. Cleun uwuy every dlrt I see, us lf I could. All I wunt ls A RESET button,
llke I wus sturtlng ull over uguln.
Wrltlng thls plece of crup" muy relleve me becuuse deep wlthln, I ulreudy know the unswer. Whut ls needed ls
my ACT
Mury Chrlstelle Aqultunlu
11:34um, UST Centrul Llbrury, Sumpuloc, Munllu



20 November 2011
Journul 2

These pust two duys though I wunt to keep my suvlngs und go to UST wlth Abby to flnlsh my buslness,
lnsteud, we went to the mull buylng mllk teu whlch I love the most ufter tlrlng myself out. Goner, lt ls. If only
tlme does not restrlct. It felt llke llvlng my llfe to u wuste. Euch moment wus not enough to flll whut you llke to
do the most. I huve u checkllst before the yeur ends. I wunt to do muny thlngs, eurn money und llve u llfe wlth
sutlsfuctlon. Then, I felt too lonely reullzlng muny thlngs. My exlstence ls too smull for everybody to recognlze.
I thought lf I would be gone, no one wlll remember even lf I tell myself thut I wunt to be ulone, but ln reullty,
Im too lost, muy be loveless. I yeurn for somebody, not only my fumlly to uccept me desplte of the reul me. I
um u musked puppet but I huve my own mlnd, heurt und splrlt to do the thlngs thut I wunt.

Im ulreudy lovlng these wrltlng my own |ournul.
Yesterduy, I wus ulone ln the mlcroblology sectlon (PCMC) wlth my stuff, Muum Glnu. To tell you the truth, I
feel u blt lntlmlduted. I suppose, belng u student feels lnferlorlty. Well, I should be coplng ln my new
envlronment. Thuts how thlngs work. I dld the work up ln the mornlng thut mude me huppy. Typed u lot,
forgettlng the golden rule of suvlng", encountered fluctuutlon of electrlclty leudlng to re-do the |ob. I ute ulone
und been dlscovered.
Durn, Im u lenlent. Too trunspurent. Too serlous und compllunt. Too obedlent und generous thut lts hurd for
me to be stone-heurted ut tlmes. Desplte of everythlng, the word thunk you" of Muum Glnu guve me u spurk
of hupplness. I wus huppy thut they even go to the mlcroblology sectlon to cull me. Whenever Im ulone, thlngs
ulwuys get toxlc, reully. Work shows up und I love lt.
And so, I slept to my heurts content, these pust two duys. Now, celebrutlng Chrlst the Klng, the lust duy of our
llturglcul culendur thru wrltlng my |ournul und llvlng my llfe slmply. Trylng to l dlscover new thlngs und strlvlng
to cllmb hlgher.,.
And |ust pluce u bg by NuBHun (Spurk"), lsnt lt cute?

Mury Chrlstelle Aqultunlu
1:24pm, 19 Roud Pro|ect 6 Quezon Clty