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Forgiving Your Brother or Sister

A Khutbah by Abu Idrees Hafidahullaah Transcribed by: The One In Need Of Allaahs Mercy

All praise is due to Allaah and we praise Him as He deserves to be praised. We seek His aid and His assistance and we ask His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic from the evil of our own souls and the evil of our wicked actions. Whomsoever Allaah guides then none can misguide him. Whomsoever Allaah chooses to lead astray then none can guide. I testify that none has the right to be worshipped (in truth) except Allaah alone and I testify that Muhammad is the slave and Messenger of Allaah . - The most truthful speech is the Speech of Allaah , - and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad . - and the most wicked of all affairs are newly invented matters and every newly invented matter is a bidah (an innovation) and every innovation is misguidance and all misguidance is in the Hellfire. Last week our noble brother mentioned some valid points that will aid the brotherhood. And from what he mentioned (hafidahullaahu taala) was Muhabbah -- is to have love in your hearts for you brother for the sake of Allaah . And if that love is established for the sake of Allaah , then those of their affairs to carry out regarding to build and to strengthen the brotherhood, would be easy.

Likewise I would like to add upon one or two principles that if established, it would help and aid the brotherhood. From that the first one, is that we have the ability to pardon and to forgive your brother. If your brother falls short or your sister falls short, you have in you to pardon them and likewise to forgive them. For verily this will bring about brotherhood and this is an order from Allaah . Allaah the Most High, He says, Forgive and pardon up until the command of Allaah comes, and Allaah is capable of all things.

And Allaah the Most High He says, Fear Allaah, fear Allaah and rectify your affairs between yourselves. This is an order from Allaah. The Deen of Islaam is to bring about brotherhood and to stop the splitting. This is what our religions encourages us to do. As we have the statements of Allaah the Most High. And Allaah the Most High He says, Pardon them! Look over their shortcomings. Verily, Allaah He loves the Good-doers.

Allaah refers to those individuals that forgive and pardon as the Good Doers. And this is what is encouraged. ---- If we see two individuals amongst our brothers & sisters who are at war with each other, (having a conflict), then it is upon us to try and follow that which Allaah commands us with. --- Try to bring about reconciliation between them. Do not fuel their problem!! Do not add your two pence piece to make the situation worse but rather, think as to what you can do to lessen their fitnah.

Allaah the Most High He says, If you find two parties of Muslims or two groups falling into fighting, then bring about peace between them. We are brothers ikhwaan-in-Islaam. Allaah the Most High, He says, The believers are nothing but brothers, so bring about reconciliation and rectification between yourselves. This is the amr (order) from Allaah . And likewise if we analyse the Sunnah we find that, what the Messenger has ordered us to do will bring about brotherhood. And those things that he has told us to stay away from, --- if we stay away from it, it will strengthen the bridges of brotherhood. The Messenger has mentioned, Do not hate each other, do not envy each other, do not turn away from each other. Be slaves of Allaah in brotherhood. It is not permissible for you to make a boycott or to leave your leave your brother for more than three days as the end of the Hadeeth mentions. All of these are Qawaaid, (principles) that if we follow, will strengthen the bridges of brotherhood. And if you meet someone who falls short, then try to overlook his short comings. Allaah mentions that indeed He has created mankind weak, mankind will err, mankind will fall short from time to time. But look at what Allaah He mentions,

The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly).... (Surah Fussialat 41:34)

This is what Allaah ordered us to do in the time of our anger, when someone runs us down then we should stay patient for the sake of Allaah . And by doing that what is the result? At the end of Surah Fussilat 41:34 Allaah mentions, .......then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.. These are the guidelines that have been set out in the Quraan and the Sunnah. The Messenger has mentioned, that: Giving of wealth will not decrease, (will not decrease your wealth). Giving charity and sadaqa, it will not decrease your wealth. The Messenger said, A slave will not seize to pardon his brother except that Allaah will honour him. And there is not a person that humbles himself for the sake of Allaah

except that Allaah will raise that individual.

This is the strength of the one who can pardon the one (can forgive this individual) when he runs him down. On the authority of Abu Darda , the Messenger said, Shall I not inform you of something more excellent than fasting, salaah, and giving charity? So the companions replied, Indeed. So the Prophet Muhammad then went on to mention, Bring about rectification, reconciliation between the people when you see that there is fasad between the people, then bring about what you can do to aid, to bring about reconciliation, something that will bring the brotherhood back together.

The Messenger said it is better than sadaqah, salah, and prayer. And in another narration we have the same that the Messenger has mentioned that, The best form of charity is that you bring rectification amongst the people. These are the things if you put it on the mizaan of Allaah , if you put it on the scales of Allaah ; this will carry weight. These are from the things that if you show humbleness, you show that you can forgive your brother and you could pardon your brother, then you will be raised with honour, you will be raised in levels. in the second part of the Khutabh we will mention a hadeeth about those individuals that have the strength at the time of anger and who hold back for the sake of Allaah . Alahmudulillahi Rabbil Alameen Holding yourself and humbling yourself for the sake of Allaah is indeed a tremendous virtue to have. We ask Allaah that He makes us of those individuals because its not easy. We ask Allaah that he makes us from those individuals like the story of Aadam (alaihissalaam) regarding his two sons. Narrated among Muhammad, as Allaah says in the story of the two sons of Aadam: When they put forward their sacrifice, only one of the sacrifice was accepted. So the one whose sacrifice was rejected, out of rage, anger and jealousy told his brother, Im going to kill you, Im going to kill you. --- (The Mufassiroon say that his brother was stronger in strength, but his reply was that If you stretch out your hands to kill me, I will not stretch my hand out to kill you. Verily, I fear Allaah Lord of all the dominions. I fear Allah ) . That is strength --- that is Eeman and that is not weakness. Analyse what took place with those two brothers. Messenger mentioned, that the one that killed (the murderer), every single death that occurs in this earth, it will fall back on him (the sin will fall back on him). And the one that was patient for the sake of Allaah, then his

reward is with Allaah . To be able to forgive, to be able to hold yourself at the time of anger is a tremendous virtue to have. This tremendous hadeeth of the Messenger as narrated by Abdullah ibn Masood he said as if he could see the Messenger narrating, from the stories of one of the Prophets, that his people beat the Prophet up until he had blood upon his face. And then he was wiping the blood off his face and he turned back to his Lord he said, Oh my Lord forgive them, oh my Lord forgive them because they do not know. Here we have an example: beaten, blood upon the face and not even one wrong word uttered. Instead you have the Prophet making dua for his people saying: O Allaah forgive them for their wrong doings because they do not know. As we find likewise in the story of the Messenger Muhammad when he went to Taif (for no worldly gain) but to call the people to Tawheed and how it turned out to be a very very hard time for him. If you read the Seerah during this time --- he lost his wife and then not long after that he lost his uncle and his uncle died as a disbeliever and this brought great sadness to the Messenger . During this period of sadness what did he receive when he went to Taif to call the people to Tawheed? They mocked at him, they beat him up until blood dripped from the Messenger . Reflect on this difficult period -- just losing his wife, losing his uncle and now this). So the angel of the mountains came to him and said, Give me the word, give me the word and I will bring about the two mountains over them and destroy them. Here we have an individual, the Messenger Muhammad , now, having the ability just to say a kalima (a word) and this will be carried out and though beaten, what were his words?

He said, Leave them, for verily from their lineage and their offspring, perhaps there will be people who will worship Allaah and single Allaah alone in

worship. Do not meet an evil with an evil, ---- be the better person and show mercy. As the Messenger has mentioned, whomsoever who does not show mercy then he will not receive mercy and the one that does not show forgiveness likewise will not receive forgiveness. Do not think that if you humble yourself for the sake of Allaah and for trying to build the bridges of brotherhood you are weak and that it will go to waste. Anas Ibn Malik said, on an occasion: Our Prophet Muhammad went past the people and they were lifting stones, so the Messenger said, what are these people doing? They replied, O Messenger of Allaah, they are lifting these stones in order to build up their strength, to have strength. So the Messenger replied by saying, Shall I not inform you of that which is more stronger in strength than this? He is the one who can hold (control) himself at the time of anger. Work with the scales of Ar-Rahman. On the road and on the streets, the powerful men and the one who thinks he has honour is the one that is the most mean, the one who is the most ruthless, the one that shows no mercy, the one that can easily kill, the one that can easily show up his strength and destroy. These are the ones who gain stripes on the road. In Islaam the affair is not so. The powerful one, the strong one, is the one that humbles himself in front of Allaah . Let it go. If you are defending turf, a post code, a nation or a certain tribe, there is no honour with that. There is honour with Allaah and the Messenger. How many years are going to go when we are still entering into Islaam but we still hold on to these grudges because a certain person is from a certain part of the city or a certain colour or because somebody has done someone something wrong and in order to show your manhood you must now seek revenge. By Allaah, the strength and

the izza is with Allaah and His Messenger. Allaah he says, O you who believe enter into Islaam perfectly, whole (full) heartedly. --- meaning to the commands of Allaah and His Messenger without having anything in your chest such as pride. Enter Islaam whole heartedly (by submitting yourself) and do not follow the footsteps of the Shaitan. Verily he is an open enemy to you. I leave you with this tremendous hadeeth to encourage myself and likewise my brothers and my sisters that humbling yourself for the sake of Allaah is no shame. Muad Ibn Anas said that the Messenger has mentioned that: Whosoever can withhold his anger at the time of anger whilst he has the ability to enforce his strength, the reward from Allaah is that, He will be brought forth in front of the whole of the creation on Yawmul Qiyamaah. And Allaah will say to him, Choose from the Hoorain, whatever you please. --- (Just because he held himself back at the time of anger.) So our message, if you have love for your brother in your heart, have it for the sake of Allaah. If its for the sake of the dunya or for the sake of anything else it will be hard for you to follow these Qawaaida and these Principles. But if you establish that love as the brother mentioned in your hearts for the sake of Allaah humble yourself. Then by Allaah, and then likewise you you are not weak but you are Allaah is true and you will Day and Allaah strong and the promise of not be a loser on that Great knows best.