Recently, I began a relationship with a wonderful woman, who unfortunately lives a few hundred miles away from me right

now. Presently, I stay at a Salvation A rmy with other military homeless veterans. this girl and I are able to speak on the phone, and chat on facebook. But my feelings for her go beyond these methods of communication. So, I began h and writing her letters, and I send these with a card in what is now referred to as snail mail. I view this method of intimate communication at times a very un der utilized form of sharing thoughts and feelings with another. I have not wro te letters in this way since high school, which was well before the advent of th e internet. In these letters I write to this amazing girl, I find myself sharing emotions mo re completely than sharing them in another way. I share my life with her, and I 'm very thankful I'm able to do this with her. Here is some of the letters I se nt to her, and I will continue to write her in this way as often as I can and wi sh: Hi baby,

It's Friday afternoon, and I'm speaking with Patrick, and waiting for my boss to call. Patrick is about 10 years older than me, and still uses drugs. He makes it quite clear that he lives here because he is homeless and not to get treatme nt for drug use. At least he is honest, and he is fairly entertaining. Like me , he is white, and generous with what he has to give.

It's now Saturday afternoon, and I think you may be sleeping. And I really wish I was sleeping with you. I experienced a lot of needed comfort and peace, when we were together. It was very easy for me to trust you, and enjoy you complete ly. And you seemed to really trust me, during our time together. Thank you for knowing that I would not harm you.

I write you in pencil now so I don't smear ink as I write to you. It's a proble m us left handers have, making a mess occasionally. But we are often very smart and creative, so it all balances out in the end.

You are opening presents now, and I hope you get a lot of cool stuff. I really never was that much into Christmas, so I am cool just hanging out with the boys. Right now, the movie "Vulture City" is playing, and I'm watching this with Ma rvin, Kenny, and Scott. Kenny is notorious for getting these B movie DVDs. Alt hough we did watch "King Kong" a few nights ago.

It's Christmas day now, and I'm glad I've been chatting with you all morning. I'm now waiting for you to call. Spending my days and nights with you this way gives me a lot of happiness, I was often lonely, before you came into my life. It's very nice sharing my life with you now.

St Patrick's has a work program where I can work at MacMurphy's grill for a few months, at minimum wage. I'm gonna try and do that, so I can save some money to see you again. I'm disappointed about my job, but there is nothing I can do ab out this. I'll continue to look for a real job when I am doing this.

It's Sunday afternoon, and you are with your family now. I hope your time with them today is somewhat enjoyable. And I am going to go mail this letter and car d to you now.

You are in my thoughts, and in my heart, Carol. Thank you for being in my life now. We will speak soon, and I love you very much. "D" Hi Honey,

I think you are shopping with Julia right now, so I feel like writing you.

Scott and Kevin, two older white dudes, are on the computers now and I'm watchin g the movie" The Thing"once again. There is a cute girl in the movie, so.....

Earlier, I got some cards to mail you, as well as some soda, candy, and ramen no odles. It's nice having a little bit of cash on me now. Also, I got some smoke s and crackers.

I enjoyed my walk to Walgreens. I got to do some people watching, and I got som e exercise. And, I looked good out in public-I had the sport coat you and I bou ght on over a burgundy sweatshirt , and jeans. Because of the way I normally dr ess, no one really knows I am homeless.

My daughter continues to avoid contacting me, parental alienation at its finest. I wrote her at least once a week, for two years, after her mother decided to s how her true colors. I no longer write her and will have to wait until she is o lder for her to discover and realize the truth about her mother. I think I'm ab le to better tolerate the pain of her absence now.

Your cocaine stories are both very sad, and very interesting. I can't imagine t he pain you experienced then, on a few different levels. After hearing your sto ry, I fully understand why your ex treats you the way he does now. I'm very gla d he cares about you.

We were at Outback Steakhouse five weeks ago. I think we made love after that.

I can actually feel you, when we speak on the phone. So please keep calling as often as you want. I love your voice and your laugh.

I want us to remain engaged, Carol. We definitely belong together. In time, I promise I'll be up there with you in some way. I think my employer has an opera tion in Milwaukee so I'll work on that. But you are the defintely the only one for me.

Thanks for talking to me so much every day. If I ever discover something I don' t like about you, I'll let you know. But so far, you are perfect. I love you v ery much, D Wednesday afternoon Hi Honey, Thank you for spending your days with me. I really enjoy your company, and the words you share with me. At this point it is unlikely I will go to jail. But it I do, I'll again need y ou to contact these people, so please hold on to this list of people I have give n you. As soon as I have the money, I will come up there to see you. I need to see you again. In time, I will move up there to be with you. I love you very much. D When we chat now, I think of the time spent together, now a month ago. The firs t thing I remember about you, is your smile, when I first saw you. Your very be autiful smile. What I remember next is how your hand felt. It is very soft and warm, and I fel t how you gripped my hand. Next, I remember your laugh--especially at Steak n Shake. Your laugh is infecti ous-you make those around you happy, when you laugh. And I remember entering our hotel room-and suddenly being with you naked on our bed. I remember first my hand feeling that gorgeous skin of yours. With the gr eatest of ease, I'm suddenly on top of you, and inside of you. Also, I remember you eating pizza and watching you drink orange crush. I rememb er how fantastic your hair looked, after you took a shower. And I remember holdi ng your hand, when we were not in our hotel room. You and I both have really bad memories for different reasons. We now both have

great memories, and I choose to focus on these. We will form more great memori es soon. I love you, D Sunday Night

Hi Honey,

Others are using the computer right now so I thought I'd write you another lette r.

It sucks I'm not working yet. I'm very glad I got this job, but this delay mean s it will be that much longer to see you again. Hopefully, I'll hear from my bo ss this week.

I'm sorry about the phones here. At times, I ask you to call me not knowing ano ther is using the phone. I need to buy some minutes to activate it again someti me.

I'm glad I have a place to stay, but community living sucks. The biggest compla int I have is the noise early in the morning. Some of the guys here sleep during the day, due in part to the fucked up drugs prescribed to them that sedate them . As a result, they get up in the middle of the night, and make alot of noise. They are not very considerate at all. I have ear plugs that help block out thi s noise a little bit.

I miss a lot about you, but I particularly miss holding you nest to me. I miss feeling your breath, and your warmth.

I will have to face legal issues in the future. Anything could happen, as I fac e these issues. Just contact those people, it I ever end up in jail. And I wil l write you, if that ever happens. Nothing really scares me these days. Anyway , I'll continue to chat with you online as long as I can. And I hope to continu e to talk with you on the phone at least once a day. Thank you for keeping me c ompany in these extremely long days.

I'm very happy we are together, and I love you very much.

D Sunday Night

Hi There,

Thank you for spending your days and nights with me. You make my days a lot bet ter here. And you are very popular where I live. The guys here know how I feel about you and the treats you are sending me will increase your popularity that much more.

So I'm thinking possibly by next month, I'll have money to come see you. I'm th inking about 400.00 dollars should cover my flight and a hotel room for us. We' ll get separate rooms, since we are not married and all.

I've had a headache all day today. I always get headaches, when the weather cha nges. Don't ask me why.

Most of the guys here are black and are older than me. I've been here for about 4 months now. And I've made some friends-a few are guys who think I'm a genius because I can read and write. Scott is an older white friend of mine here. He was a special Forces medic during the Vietnam War.

And right now, he is in school for his PhD as a physician assistant. I do not k now the stories of how these guys here ended up homeless, and they do not know m ine. But some guys here are quite amazing, and very intelligent.

Having you in my life now makes me want to move forward that much more. In time , I'll be able to move up there. So we need to be patient, and we'll makes this happen. I enjoyed writing you again and we'll speak soon. I love you very muc h, D