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Jeffrey B. Viernes Professor Jeffrey Mexia English 100 (2) September 14, 2009 A Fight for Life I wear my spotlessly clean white clinical uniform and my name badge on the left side of my uniform; I am ready to care for patients once more. My responsibility as a student nurse is to provide strength for the weak, love for those destined to a life of wretchedness and care for the dying. I consider the hospital as my second home, and the patients I handle on my everyday routine my friends and family. My task is to facilitate patients condition every hour and provide them comfort when there is pain and suffering. The duty and responsibility of a nurse is more than dispensing medical advice; it is about caring, loving, and giving hope to your patient. Before I ended up on the island of Kauai, I was on my journey to become a registered nurse in the Philippines. During my second year of nursing, we were exposed to the hospital in order to learn how to deal with the real world. In my three to eleven night shift duty at Mariano Marcos Memorial Hospital in Batac, Ilocos Norte, I remember Mrs. Padron, one of my patients in the Intensive Care Unit. Upon entering room ICU 124, a very sweet smile and soft angelic voice always greet me, Hi Jeffrey, how is my nurse doing today? She was very comfortable to deal with especially when I took her vital signs and changed the linen of her bed. She was a 65 year

Viernes 2 old woman diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She always wore a piece of red striped bandanna wrapped tightly around her head to cover her balding. She was connected with a long clear tube directed from her nose down to her stomach for nourishment. An IV tube was also connected at the right dorsal part of her hand to avoid dehydration. A stage three cancer was diagnosed by her physician a few months prior. What I remember most about her was, when she woke up every morning, she always wanted her windows to be opened. She liked to watch the huge ball of fire arising from the mountains of the east as it settled down in the mountains of the far west. One day, she was lying on her bed while reading her favorite book entitled The Purpose Driven Life written by Rick Warren when I walked over her bed and sat down on her side to change her diapers. I smiled and said How are you feeling today? Nothing had change, Im still in this isolated four cornered room waiting for a miracle to happen. Unfortunately, my doctor told me yesterday that I have two more months to go, she whispered in a fading tone of hope as she wiped the droplets of tears falling onto her face. I replied in a comforting voice, Dont lose your hope Mrs. Padron, always believe in Gods power to heal and relieve your pain and suffering. He will never give you a challenge that you cannot defeat and survive. However, when the trials are starting to get tough, dont hesitate to knock on His door and He will always open it for you. And she answered me with a single hopeless smile. Do you know why I am opening my windows every morning? She asked and looked at me with her teary bulging eyes. If the time will finally come, I will never see the sun rising and settling down again nor the next day, neither the preceding days that will come. You know what? As I watch the rising sun

Viernes 3 every morning, it gives me a little hope and strength that I will I will surpass my illness. I dont know when will be the time that God will take my breath away. All I know is every single second is important for me at this moment. I want to spend my last few months with my two daughters, she paused for a while and took a deep breath. I feel like being punished with my illness in every single day and I feel the dull pain killing me every minute, and tears began to drench her face as she talked stories about her sufferings. She became too emotional in our conversation and yet she keeps on smiling showing hope and strength. My shift was done at eleven, and I was ready to go home. Feelings of discouragement filled me as I helplessly watched my favorite ICU patient, Mrs. Padron, slowly slipping away. Mrs. Padrons illness was weakening her every minute, time was running so fast, and chances of survival were still unclear. I gazed into the dimly lit room and waved a hushed goodbye to her daughters assuring that I would be back tomorrow. We exchanged forced smiles of fading hope. As I was on my way home, I remembered those moments we had spent together in her four cornered room, exchanging stories, laughs and praying for her wellness. She became my loving mother in the hospital. She taught me to read and reflect biblical passages and provided me worthful advice that will guide me in the future. As she continued fighting her health condition, I saw the spirit of hope in her eyes, and I recognized her strength to fight her illness despite of how painful it was to live with cancer. I recognized her strong devotion and faith to the Father Almighty as she held firmly a white beaded rosary in her hand praying for one more chance to live. As the weeks went by, I felt an intensifying feeling of sadness in her room. I did everything I could do for her in order to alleviate her pain. I had been on her side every single day giving her

Viernes 4 strength, love and hope. In the small span of time we have been together I have learned a lot of things especially about her fighting spirit and her strong devotion to God. She began to feel a dreadful pain onto her body, and I immediately went to her side and gave a gentle touch on her shoulder to temporarily ease the pain. Her room became so calm and peaceful as everyone is praying and looking forward for a chance of survival. Suddenly, she stared at every one of us, smiled and voiced weakly, Thank you so much, I will never forget this very moment in my life that even to my last breath, I never felt alone, Thank you. After a few minutes, the time had finally come; an alarming long beeping sound produced by the ECG machine began to unease her family. The blood pressure began to drop, her pulse rate began to slow down, and she started catching her breath deeply in every second. I began to pump her chest to administer CPR in order to revive her vital signs. Unfortunately, I didnt restore her back to life. I felt useless at that time and questioned myself, How would I call myself a nurse, if I cant even save my dying patient? As the sun settled down in the west and the rays of the sun began to fade, her eyes slowly closed and the struggle in her life had ceased. I was speechless at that very moment because it was my first time to actually see a dying person. The environment became isolated with pain and grieving with the family she had left. I salute her, a very strong woman who painted a different meaning of life in our minds despite of her ailment. She was maybe on her peaceful dwelling place right now, I am glad that I have met one person that stitches bundles of good memories in my heart. Now, I realized and understood my purpose as a future nurse more clearly. Nurses stand in a gap like the heart bypass machine in the lives of our patients. One nurse may hold the hand of death, while another holds the hand of life. As my instructor had said, You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give yourself, your wisdom, your time, your caring and prayers to your patients before you can call yourself a NURSE.

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