Marriage OH 1.

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What Genesis 1-3 Teaches about Marriage Adam & Eve’s Response to Sex
Sex: Adam and Eve were not ashamed,
A delicate subject? because they were not aware of evil and had no sinful thoughts.
There are many allusions to sexual behaviour in the Bible – good and bad! The “knowledge of good and evil” had not entered into their lives,
So Christians should not be embarrassed by it! though the potential danger was there, (see Gen.2:17)¨
Provided, of course, they think, talk and act according to God’s Word!
A Pro-creational View of Sex - An Ancient Misconception
To Discuss: The early Church Fathers, including Augustine,
thought sex could only serve God when it led to a pregnancy.
How do most people in your culture think of sex?
Otherwise it was essentially sinful!!
What is the perceived purpose of sex?
• To express love in its most intimate form? To Discuss:
• To let a man have a “good time” with his wife? • What is wrong with this interpretation of Genesis 2?
• Just to perpetuate the human race?
• To rejuvenate the body? Look up Gen 26;8, Is 62:5, Pro 5:18-19
• To bond husband and wife? Corinth’s Degradation of sex
• To provide relief from stress and boredom?
• Any other popular concepts? •Corinth was well known for its sexual immorality.
So some people were reacting by encouraging married couples
The Big Question about Sex
to avoid sex altogether (“Don’t touch! - 1 Cor 7:1)
What wider purpose can the love of wife and husband for each other,
expressed supremely in sexual intimacy and delight, Paul’s High View of sex
possibly serve in God’s world,
except the obvious one of creating a family of “gardeners”? •Paul, however, told them it was much better for a couple to be married and enjoy equal
Marriage & Sex Genesis 2:18-25 “conjugal rights” over each other.
Marriage is instituted by God They owe it to each other to do all they can to satisfy each other’s sexual desires.
and sexual attraction has been built into us by God.
Before Marrying…
Genesis 2:18, 22-25 Marriage & Sex Note: On your wedding day
The Lord God said, you surrender authority over your body to your wife or husband.
“It is not good for the man to be alone. The thought moves So you had better make sure before you agree to marry
I will make a helper suitable for him.”…. from that you trust that person!
The Lord made a woman A: Marriage
from the rib he had taken out of the man, 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
(companion The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife,
and he brought her to the man. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones, to help him) and likewise the wife to her husband.
and flesh of my flesh; through The wife’s body does not belong to her alone
she shall be called ‘woman’ B: Physical identity but also to her husband.
for she was taken out of man.” [The wife does not have authority over her own body,
(bone of my bones, but the husband does. – NKJV]
For this reason flesh of my flesh),
a man will leave his father and mother In the same way, also,
and and physical union the husband’s body does not belong to him alone
be united to his wife. (united… one flesh) but also to his wife.
and to positive Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time;
they will become one flesh. so that you may devote* yourselves to prayer.
C: Sexual awareness Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you
The man and the woman were both naked, (naked and no shame)
and they felt no shame. because of your lack of self-control.
* Devote give time, energy and attention
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Conjugal Rights 4
•We need to avoid anything that diverts our sexual energies Genesis 2:7 Genesis 2:23
away from the one to whom we owe them The Lord The man (‘adam’) said,
e.g. formed man from “This is now bone of my bones,
– Overwork leading to neglect of the spouse the dust of the ground and flesh of my flesh;
– Pornography leading to loss of interest in the marriage (“adamah”) she shall be called
& breathed into his nostrils ‘woman’ (‘ishah’)
For married couples:
the breath of life, for she was taken out of
•We need to pay attention to, and guard, those life-style factors that & the man (“adam”) became man (‘ish’)”
cause sexual delight in marriage to flourish. a living being.
e.g.
–Making regular times for being together A Wrong Exegesis
–Having time to attend to each other’s needs and interests • Can “the breath of life” be equated with ‘energy’?
Cf. “devote” time, energy and attention • God “breathed the breath of life” into man
before he ‘gendered’ him and made male and female
In marriage each owes his or her body to the other,
to give the other all the love and intimacy of which they are capable.
• It is the marriage union (cf. ref. to “wife” in the following verse),
Sometimes there will be sheer delight for both. not “sexuality”, (merely an added comment),
At other times, for one partner this will be more of a costly giving that is “the culminating high point in the story of Genesis 2”.
when, for whatever reason, he or she has little or no desire to be intimate. Genesis 2:24
For married couples: For this reason WHY?
Remember on your wedding day you committed yourself sexually a man will leave his father and mother WHO? WHAT?
to your wife or husband for life. and
Make space for it as marriage goes on; nurture it and nourish it in love be united to his wife, WHAT? WHO?
A Marital Duty and
The Bible forbids sex outside marriage, But it commands sex within marriage! they will become one flesh. WHO? WHAT?
Guard the fires of your heart so that the warmth of your love The man and the woman were both naked,
can spread outwards to others! and they felt no shame.
Transition to One Flesh
A Relationship View of Sex: A Modern Misconception
A deliberate consequence of a man leaving his parents
“The neuter earth creature became gendered. to become united with his wife (and so form a new family unit).
Sexuality is to become the means by which we overcome isolation. Not a casual union of any two people.
It is to carry us past isolation to relationship. A man will leave his father and mother WHO? WHAT?
Sexuality is the culminating high point in the story in Gen 2. and
It is a story of the energy God built into humanity’s flesh.” be united to his wife.

To Discuss:
To Discuss: • Why do some newly-weds live with their parents while others
• What is wrong with this interpretation of Genesis 2? choose to start their own homes?
• Which way does the Bible indicate is the better way of starting
Study the context of both passages following…
married life?
• What can be done to encourage couples to follow the Bible pattern?
 has sound biblical justification.
The married state is thus publicly recorded.
5 There can be no doubt of their new sexual relationship as married couple.
What happens subsequently is privately conducted.
A New Social Order: “United With His Wife” 6
•There is something special that takes place in the union of a man and a woman, To Discuss
and that the union must be preserved intact
without the undue influence of, or addition of, any other people. •Modern secular portrayals of marriage and sex
give the idea that it is “cool” to have a private wedding
A Unique Sexual Union: “One Flesh”
(say, on a remote exotic beach)
•Sex outside of marriage leads to trouble! and that sex can be a public (adult) affair.
Sexually transmitted diseases •Discuss the comparisons between a traditional Shadi in the East
are spread from unions outside the sanctified marriage union and the above scenario often portrayed in the West.
What has Scripture to say about such practices
The Purpose of Weddings
(Eastern and Western)? 5
They Publicise a Marital Union
The Creation of Woman
Weddings in both the Old and New Testaments portrayed as
a public acknowledgement of a new married state. The purpose of sex is not primarily the satisfaction of a need
(to experience a relationship), That would cheapen sex.
Private Intimacy
The beautiful and mutually delightful intimacy of a man “knowing” a God’s Purpose
woman is a private matter Our view of sex changes radically when we stop seeing it in terms of
recognised only in the pregnancy of the (married) woman. meeting man’s needs
Those who took a woman outside of marriage were described as and start to see it as expressing God’s purposes,
“lying with” (rarely as “knowing”) the woman. which began with
“Knowing” is normally hreserved for legitimate intimate relationships A. a garden to be worked and cared for,
So sacred is it that it is sometimes used as a picture of continued with a people called to be
the spiritual intimacy that God wants to have with His people. B. light to the nations,
Public Acknowledgement of a Calling and proceeds now with
Marriage is not just a private matter of two lovers making a C. a Kingdom to be extended
covenant together. through the carrying out of the Great Commission.
Rather it is a calling to which husband and wife are Love
called by God by virtue of being married. The task as set out in the Great Commission
The Public Nature of Marriage can only be achieved through
Further it is a relationship initiated, hedged and bounded by a faithful love for God and for your fellow man.
public recognition and support. This love for the world can only flow from
Hence it should never be totally private, least of all secret. a life which lives out this love
Public Feast – Private Intimacy God’s Purpose for Sex
Placing bride and bridegroom on the marriage bed in front of the cameras A marriage of a husband and wife, who both live out this love
as part of their private experience,
 fulfils the purpose God when He made man and women the difficulty of guarding pure thoughts (Ps. 119:9)
to desire each other in the intimacy of sexual delight. are all examples of the difficulties inspired by sexual desire.
The Purpose of Sex: not to meet needs, nor to create children; The bible is realistic about sexual arousal, noting that it is a fact of life
rather it is to nurture love between husband and wife. (Eze.23:18).
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“Sex created in order to build intimacy and love between the couple Marriage and Public Order
that then ‘explode’ onto the world with the security and experience of a The social consequences of the abuse of sex seen in
private bliss. rape, adultery, molestation of the young, and homosexuality.
The strengthening of relationship, the joy in the midst of life Marriage is an obvious hedge against such abuse.
is vital for the effectiveness of the couple… But the maintenance of public order in sexual matters is not
There is a mutual delight in each other, an intimacy the primary purpose of Marriage.
in the midst of life and household responsibilities.
To refresh and restore one another, to strengthen the relationship To Discuss
which is then able to take on the task given to it.” (IH) •Is it wise to marry off daughters as soon as they reach puberty,
The faithful intimate love of a committed couple or should Christians have another approach to an appropriate age
can provide a centre of stable security, so that for marriage?
this safe home becomes a refuge into which others can be welcomed. What are the advantages of delaying marriage to a later age?
Sex In the Service of God
The Song of Songs is best known for its celebration of
the intimacies of love as experienced by two lovers.
But how does it fit the context of the service of God? Next Session
Gardens in the Bible are not primarily there to provide a beautiful place Having Children
to sit and enjoy the pleasures of its colourful flowers and lovely fragrances.
A garden is there to produce fruit Assumption:
So the lovers revel in the springtime of love The purpose of having male and female, the reason for the existence of sex
because it gives hope for the autumn of fruitfulness. and the essential goal of marriage, is the creation of children.
Fruitfulness is a great Bible picture, not only of children, True? Or not?
but more significantly,
of a world properly ordered and cultivated :the Kingdom of Heaven itself.
The Abuse of Sex
Sex can be a wonderful thing. It can also be destructive and harmful.
e.g. the damage caused by jealousy, abuse and rape.
What is intrinsically good
can be subverted and cause the greatest damage when misused.
Control is required.
Scripture recognises an inherent instability about sexual desire.
The lustful look (Job 31:1),
the adulterous look (Matt.5:27-30),