Sexual Abuse in the Amish Community

The Amish community is a mysterious world within modern America, a place frozen in another time. The Amish live without automobiles or electricity. Education ends at the eighth grade and life largely centers on farming, family and faith.

A Short History Of The Amish Lifestyle

The Amish people in America are an old religious sect, direct descendants of the Anabaptists of sixteenth-century Europe. Not to be confused with the term anti-Baptist, these Anabaptist Christians challenged the reforms of Martin Luther and others during the Protestant Reformation, rejecting infant baptism in favor of baptism (or re-baptism) as believing adults. They also taught separation of church and state, something unheard of in the 16th century. Later known as the Mennonites, after the Dutch Anabaptist leader Menno Simons (1496-1561), a large group of Anabaptists fled to Switzerland and other remote areas of Europe to escape religious persecution. During the late 1600s a group of devout individuals led by Jakob Ammann broke away from the Swiss Mennonites, primarily over the lack of strict enforcement of Meidung, or shunning - excommunication of disobedient or negligent members. They also differed over other matters such as foot washing and the lack of rigid regulation of costume. This group became known as the Amish and, to this day, still share most of the same beliefs as their Mennonite cousins. The distinction between the Amish and Mennonites is largely one of dress and manner of worship.

Amish Settlements in America

The first sizeable group of Amish arrived in America around 1730 and settled near Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, as a result of William Penn's 'holy experiment' in religious tolerance. The Pennsylvania Amish are not the largest group of U.S. Amish as is commonly thought, however. The Amish have settled in as many as twenty-four states, Canada, and Central America, though about 80% are located in Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana. The greatest concentration of Amish is in Holmes and adjoining counties in northeast Ohio, about 100 miles from Pittsburgh. Next in size is a group of Amish people in Elkhart and surrounding counties in northeastern Indiana. Then comes the Amish settlement in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. The Amish population in the U.S. numbers more than 150,000 and growing, due to large family size (seven children on average) and a church-member retention rate of approximately 80%.

Amish Orders
By some estimates, there are as many as eight different orders within the Amish population, with the majority affiliated with one of five religious orders - Old Order Amish, New Order Amish, Andy Weaver Amish, Beachy Amish, and Swartzentruber Amish. These churches operate independently from each other with differences in how they practice their religion and conduct their daily lives. The Old Order Amish are the largest group and the Swartzentruber Amish, an offshoot of the Old Order, are the most conservative. All aspects of Amish life are dictated by a list of written or oral rules, known as Ordnung, which outlines the basics of the Amish faith and helps to define what it means to be Amish. For an Amish

person, the Ordnung may dictate almost every aspect of one's lifestyle, from dress and hair length to buggy style and farming techniques. The Ordnung varies from community to community and order to order, which explains why you will see some Amish riding in automobiles, while others don't even accept the use of battery-powered lights.

Amish Dress
Symbolic of their faith, Amish clothing styles encourage humility and separation from the world. The Amish dress in a very simple style, avoiding all but the most basic ornamentation. Clothing is made at home of plain fabrics and is primarily dark in color. Amish men in general wear straight-cut suits and coats without collars, lapels or pockets. Trousers never have creases or cuffs and are worn with suspenders. Belts are forbidden, as are sweaters, neckties and gloves. Men's shirts fasten with traditional buttons in most orders, while suit coats and vests fasten with hooks and eyes. Young men are clean shaven prior to marriage, while married men are required to let their beards grow. Mustaches are forbidden. Amish women typically wear solid-color dresses with long sleeves and a full skirt, covered with a cape and an apron. They never cut their hair, and wear it in a braid or bun on the back of the head concealed with a small white cap or black bonnet. Clothing is fastened with straight pins or snaps, stockings are black cotton and shoes are also black. Amish women are not permitted to wear patterned clothing or jewelry. The Ordnung of the specific Amish order may dictate matters of dress as explicit as the length of a skirt or the width of a seam.

Technology & the Amish

The Amish are averse to any technology which they feel weakens the family structure. The conveniences that the rest of us take for granted such as electricity, television, automobiles, telephones and tractors are considered to be a temptation that could cause vanity, create inequality, or lead the Amish away from their close-knit community and, as such, are not encouraged or accepted in most orders. Most Amish cultivate their fields with horse-drawn machinery, live in houses without electricity, and get around in horse-drawn buggies. It is common for Amish communities to allow the use of telephones, but not in the home. Instead, several Amish families will share a telephone in a wooden shanty between farms. Electricity is sometimes used in certain situations, such as electric fences for cattle, flashing electric lights on buggies, and heating homes. Windmills are often used as a source of naturally generated electric power in such instances. It is also not unusual to see Amish using such 20th-century technologies as inline skates, disposable diapers and gas barbecue grills, because they are not specifically prohibited by the Ordnung. Technology is generally where you will see the greatest differences between Amish orders. The Swartzentruber and Andy Weaver Amish are ultraconservative in their use of technology - the Swartzentruber, for example, do not even allow the use of battery lights. Old Order Amish have little use for modern technology, but are allowed to ride in motorized vehicles including planes and automobiles, though they are not allowed to own them. The New Order Amish permit the use of electricity, ownership of automobiles, modern farming machines, and telephones in the home.

Amish Schools & Education

The Amish believe strongly in education, but only provide formal education through the eighth grade and only in their own private schools. The Amish are exempt from state compulsory attendance beyond the eighth grade based on religious principles, the result of a 1972 U.S. Supreme Court ruling. Oneroom Amish schools are private institutions, operated by Amish parents. Schooling concentrates on the basic reading, writing, math and geography, along with vocational training and socialization in Amish history and values. Education is also a big part of home life, with farming and homemaking skills considered an important part of an Amish child's upbringing.

Amish Family Life

The family is the most important social unit in the Amish culture. Large families with seven to ten children are common. Chores are clearly divided by sexual role in the Amish home - the man usually works on the farm, while the wife does the washing, cleaning, cooking, and other household chores. There are exceptions, but typically the father is considered the head of the Amish household. German is spoken in the home, though English is also taught in school. Amish marry Amish - no intermarriage is allowed. Divorce is not permitted and separation is very rare. The Amish separate themselves from others for a variety of religious reasons, often citing the following Bible verses in support of their beliefs. "Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (II Corinthians 6:14) "Come out from among them and be ye separate, saith the Lord." (II Corinthians 6:17) "And be ye not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2) Because of their religious beliefs, Amish try to separate themselves from "outsiders," in an effort to avoid temptations and sin. They choose, instead, to rely on themelseves and the other members of their local Amish community. Because of this self-reliance, Amish don't draw Social Security or accept other forms of government assistance. Their avoidance of violence in all forms, means they also don't serve in the military. Each Amish congregation is served by a bishop, two ministers, and a deacon -- all male. There is no central Amish church. Worship services are held in community members' homes where walls are designed to be moved aside for large gatherings. The Amish feel that traditions bind generations together and provide an anchor to the past, a belief that dicates the way they hold church worship services, baptisms, weddings and funerals.

Amish Baptism
The Amish practice adult baptism, rather than infant baptism, believing that only adults can make informed decisions about their own salvation and commitment to the church. Prior to baptism, Amish teenagers are encouraged to sample life in the outside world, in a period referred to as rumspringa, Pennsylvania Deutsch for "running around." They are still bound by the beliefs and rules of their parents, but a certain amount of disregard and experimentation is permitted or overlooked. During this

time many Amish teenagers use the relaxed rules for a chance at courting and other wholesome fun, but some may dress "English," smoke, talk on cell phones or drive around in automobiles. Rumspringa ends when the youth requests baptism into the church or chooses to permanently leave Amish society. Most choose to remain Amish.

Amish Weddings
Amish weddings are simple, joyous events that involove the entire Amish community. Amish weddings are traditionally held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in late fall, after the final autumn harvest. A couple's engagement is usually kept secret until just a few weeks before the wedding when their intentions are "published" in church. The wedding usually take place at the home of the bride's parents with a lengthy ceremony, followed by a huge feast for the invited guests. The bride typically makes a new dress for the wedding, which will then serve as her "good" dress for formal occasions after the wedding. Blue is the typical wedding dress color. Unlike most of today's elaborate weddings, however, Amish weddings involve no makeup, rings, flowers, caterers or photography. Newlyweds typically spend the wedding night in the bride's mother's home so they can get up early the next day to help clean up the home.

Amish Funerals
As in life, simplicity is important to the Amish after death as well. Funerals are generally held in the home of the deceased. The funeral service is simple, with no eulogy or flowers. Caskets are plain wooden boxes, made within the local community. Most Amish communities will allow the embalming of the body by a local undertaker familiar with Amish customs, but no makeup is applied. An Amish funeral and burial is typically held three days after death. The deceased is usually buried in the local Amish cemetery. Graves are hand dug. Gravestones are simple, following the Amish belief that no individual is better than another. In some Amish communities the tombstone markers are not even engraved. Instead a map is maintained by the community ministers to identify the occupants of each burial plot.

Shunning
Shunning, or meidung means expulsion from the Amish community for breaching religious guidelines -- including marrying outside the faith. The practice of shunning is the main reason that the Amish broke away from the Mennonites in 1693. When an individual is subject to meidung, it means they have to leave their friends, family and lives behind. All communication and contact is cut off, even among family members. Shunning is serious, and usually considered a last resort after repeated warnings.

Back to our original subject: Sexual Abuse in the Amish Community

Some 90 percent of children raised Amish choose to stay in the community. But one who did not is 22year-old Mary Byler. "I would read books and I'd imagine. I had a great imagination that would take me to faraway places, you know, places where I was afraid I would never be, but wanted to be," she told "20/20's" Elizabeth

Vargas. Mary says she'd use those fantasies as an emotional escape from what she says was her horrible reality -- a childhood and adolescence of sexual assault and rape. "If somebody was raping me, I'd look up to the ceiling, count the blocks or count the cracks in the wall, or just I was completely not there emotionally. I would have committed suicide many times over if I wouldn't be strong," she said. Through the years, by Mary's account, she was raped by several different attackers. But one abused her more often than the others -- her brother Johnny. Johnny, one of Mary's eight brothers, began assaulting her when he was 12 and she was 6. The assaults continued into her teen years, she said. "I couldn't go to the outhouse because there was always somebody waiting there. I couldn't go anywhere alone. There was just no place I could be alone," she said. As time passed, another brother, Eli, followed suit. "He'd rape me down in the milk house when I was cleaning up the milk house. He'd rape me down in the barn," she said. The violence in Mary's family began with the head of it -- a stepfather who, she says, continually beat both Mary and her brothers. "He hit them with shovels and hacksaws, fists, halters, anything and everything he could get his hands on," she said. A Community of Submission Irene Garrett left the Amish community to marry an outsider and has written several books on Amish life. Sadly, Garrett says, Mary's plight is not an isolated case. "Overall in an Amish community, women are very quiet, they're very submissive," Garrett said. Amish women are not taught anything about sex, according to Garrett, which makes it even harder for a girl who's being abused to describe what's happening to her. Mary said she didn't know how to describe what was happening. "I thought they were being bad to me. That was the only word I had to express it," she said. In an Amish culture unaccustomed to women speaking up, Mary felt she got more scolding than sympathy when she told her mother what was going on. She said her mother told her, "You don't fight hard enough and you don't pray hard enough." Mary said her mother made her feel as if the assaults were her fault. "Every time I would talk about this she would say that they have already confessed in church and you're just being unforgiving," she said. Indeed, Mary's brothers had confessed in church. In this closed society problems are handled internally, the church elders are both judge and jury. And the punishment might be surprising to outsiders. "The Amish emphasize the simplicity of life, plainness of life. They accentuate several themes, such as pacifism, the importance of community," said Donald Kraybill, professor of sociology at Elizabethtown college and author of "The Riddle of Amish Culture." "They feel that the use of force, even legal force, even filing a lawsuit is outside the spirit of Christ, and outside the spirit of Christian faith," according to Kraybill.

Kraybill said individuals who confess to offenses -- regardless of the seriousness -- are banned from church activities for six weeks and only restored to full membership in their community if they are truly penitent. "The Amish church has a very strong emphasis on first of all, the importance of confession, public confession, if you transgress the teaching, but secondly forgiveness for that and then forgetting it, and letting it go," Kraybill said. "The funny thing is that they view drinking alcohol until you puke as bad a sin as raping somebody. They get the same punishment for either one," Mary said. But Amish-style punishment was not going to bring Mary the justice she wanted. And for her, the final straw came when she suspected a younger brother, David, was molesting their then 4-year-old sister. Breaking Community Ties Mary recalled, "She said to me, 'You know, Mary, David is bad to me.'" Mary said her sister told her their mom, Sally Kempf, said she shouldn't talk about it and that she should forgive her brother. So, Mary did something that drew more shock from her community than the sins of her brothers. She called authorities outside the Amish community, and she let them use her to gather evidence against her own brothers. She visited her brother Johnny wearing a wire and he admitted freely that he had sexually abused her. Don Henry from the Vernon County, Wis., Sheriff's Department said he had enough evidence to make an arrest in the case. When he spoke with Johnny, he freely admitted to raping her. The only question was how many times, according to Henry. Henry said, "He wanted to know how many times she had said, and with him alone she said it happened between 100 and 150 times. He thought it was too many and that he thought it was between 50 and 75 times." Greg Lunde, Eli's lawyer, said Eli admitted to more assaults than Mary had alleged. " I think Mary's allegations against Eli were 12 or 13 times. By Eli's own admission, it was 15 or 16." David also confessed to authorities. All three brothers pleaded guilty. David, charged with second-degree sexual assault of a child, was sentenced to four years in prison. Eli, charged with second-degree sexual assault of a child, and with a prior misdemeanor conviction on his record, was given eight years in prison. Johnny Byler's sentencing brought out the largest crowd -- and the most tears -- not in support of Mary, but in support of the confessed rapist. The community's reaction did not go unnoticed by the judge in the case, Michael Rosbrough. "The thought occurred to me," he said, "How many of you have ever cried for Mary Byler? You may have prayed for her, I don't doubt you have, but how many of you cried for her? For the loss of her childhood." Viewing Victim as Villain The community viewed Mary, not Johnny, as the villain, because they had already punished Johnny within the church, according to Garrett. "He went through that process. He was sorry for what he had done, so to the Amish he was forgiven and it should be forgotten," she said. Ironically, Johnny, who raped Mary first and most often, got the lightest sentence. Now married and

with children of his own, he was given 10 years' probation. For the first year he can work in the Amish community during the day but must spend every night in the county jail. The Vernon County court also sentenced Mary's mother to two years probation for failure to protect her daughter. Her stepfather was sentenced to 18 months probation for battery and disorderly conduct. Garrett says Mary's case may strike people as particularly startling because the public has an idealized perception of Amish life. "It's like any other society. You have great families, very well-balanced, but you also have dysfunctional ones. Take the Amish off the pedestal. They're just like everybody else," she said. For some time now, Mary Byler has been living in a radically different world. Her new life has some distinctly not-Amish trappings: a driver's license, a smoking habit and a GED. Just last March, she joined the Army--hoping to pursue a career in nursing. And she's on a mission of her own, to help other abuse victims in and out of the Amish community. She says her life now has not only new pleasures but new responsibilities. And she's on a mission to help other abuse victims, in and out of the Amish community. "If somebody, some girl or some boy or some child who's being hurt by somebody, would get some good out of this story. That would make me feel really good," Mary said. Also, for Mary, there's an ironic carryover from her former life an abiding faith. She said, "I feel like God helps those who help themselves. You know, there's a verse in the Bible to that effect, and I really believe it's true, because, you know what, if you don't have the strength to stand up for yourself, there's really not much he can do for you."