UOL NIGHT SKETCH: A RETRO MUSICAL

SCENE 1 ACT 1 Narrator: It was a dark and stormy night. Oh wait. Someone just farted with the lights off. Here we go again. In the library, two students are busy cramming for the finals. Which by the way, is coming soon to a cinema near you. In May. Kit Yi is studying hard when Shirlene teases her for resembling Hermione Granger. As is well known, Hermione has a clock which can turn back time. Shirlene: Kit Yi: Hey Kit Yi, you kinda look like Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. Ha-ha. Yeay, Im pretty. Thanks Shirlene. (Continue to study and suddenly looked up) It would be nice to have an object that can turn back time like her in the 3rd movie of Harry Potter though.

Narrator:

(She turns around and randomly picks out a book.) Kit Yi: Narrator: Random: My thirst for knowledge is unquenchable. Give me a random book. A random librarian hands her a book. My name is Random. Heres my book.

(When Kit Yi opens the book, Shirlene watches her.) Shirlene: Narrator: each other. That is some random book. Wonder what it is? A strange voice booms. Kit Yi and Shirlene are bewildered and hold on to

Strange Voice: Which era do you want most, to visit? Narrator: Shirlene: Kit Yi: Shirlene: Screaming, they are sucked into a time vortex which spirals. Whats happening? This is a case for Sherlock Holmes. (Point right index finger upwards) What, you mean like the movie? (yells as they are both sucked into the spiral)

UOL NIGHT SKETCH: A RETRO MUSICAL

SCENE 2 ACT 1 Narrator: With their decisive answer, Kit Yi and Shirlene were sucked into the late 18th century. Because they were so clever as to mention Sherlock Holmes, Kit Yi and Shirlene found themselves right in front of the final scene of Sherlock 2: Game of Shadows. Professor Moriarty is delivering the final lesson to Sherlock Holmes, his sworn nemesis. He is yammering on about some fish catching techniques, for some incorrigible reason. All math sounds incorrigible to me, anyway. Moriarty is circling around Sherlock, who is sitting tied up in a chair. They are in an abandoned warehouse. Moriarty: Hah! The great Sherlock Holmes. Not so great after all huh? Without your trusted sidekick Doctor Watson? Sherlock: Moriarty: Oh shush you scumbag. What would you know about Watson? Hes the best. Might I remind you I, a Cambridge professor, am way smarter than that University of London educated Doctor Watson, who isnt even practicing medicine anymore. Says you.

Sherlock:

Narrator: Shirlene and Kit Yi have just stumbled in and barely begun to make sense of the whole situation. Kit Yi: Shirlene: Narrator: Hey, do you know exactly how tough the University of London exams are? Yeah, I still havent finished Dr. Gohs SA5Q Outside the warehouse, Dr. Watson is attempting to free Sherlock, and finds a cannon. At the same time, Col. Moran, Moriartys henchman, is circling around the gates, looking out for Watson. He doesnt see him yet. Hey, whats this?!! Where did you come from? Good always triumphs over evil, Professor. Lets see if your eardrums can triumph over this German opera!

Moriarty: Sherlock: Moriarty:

Narrator: Moriarty begins to show them his turntable skills. He puts on the vinyl and starts beatboxing. (Kit Yi and Shirlene stare dumbfounded).

UOL NIGHT SKETCH: A RETRO MUSICAL

SCENE 2 ACT 2

Narrator: outside. Shirlene:

Kit Yi and Shirlene are still staring when suddenly they hear an explosion

(covers ears tightly) What the hell was that?!!

(They quickly rush to the window to see the following scene) Narrator: Dr. Watson is hiding in the shadows with the cannon, when Col. Moran snipes from his gattling gun. (squints through the gun eyehole, proud of his big gun) Watch it, big ones coming! (Sees a curtain moving, and Watson reveals the cannon hes aiming back at Moran) Hey, thats unfair!

Moran:

Moran:

(Watson blasts the cannon at the warehouse)

SCENE 3 ACT 1

Narrator: Shirlene: Kit Yi: Narrator: Dracula: Narrator:

After the explosion has passed, they are stumbling out of the rubble. My goodness, it must be past 3 am! I bet I look like Dracula! I bet we MIGHT bump into Dracula if we dont get home soon! Just then, a shadow emerges from the mists. It is I, Count Dracula! Who dares talk about me, at this hour of the morn? Another figure comes out of the shadows. This one sports a cross.

Van Helsing: And it is I, your longtime enemy, Abraham van Helsing! Dracula: Oh god not again. This is getting old.

Van Helsing: (hard of hearing) Did you just call me old?!!! Ill have you know, Ive been serving London University long after YOU were around! (Dracula and Van Helsing get into a catfight. Some kungfu and Chinese keongsi moves are displayed.) Kit Yi: You know Shirlene, I always thought Dracula was actually scary.

UOL NIGHT SKETCH: A RETRO MUSICAL

Shirlene: Kit Yi:

I think the other guys scarier. Hes got a stake!!! What steak? I could use some supper right now. In high school I was quite the King of Steak!

SCENE 4 ACT 1

Narrator:

Mentioning steak, Kit Yi and Shirlene were then sucked into the timeframe of Elvis, the King of Rock and a famous steak lover.

(Elvis, played by Random the librarian, appears and starts dancing to the tune of A Little Less Conversation.) Shirlene: Kit Yi: Shirlene: Kit Yi: Hey, isnt he the guy from the library? I always thought the random librarian looked like Elvis. (points somewhere) Kit Yi, look, its a sign. Youre right. We must be careful of what we say.

Shirlene: (interrupted Kit Yi) the book transports us through time according to the words we say. Narrator: They realize they are getting a bit closer to the present day, as they have moved forward in time. Now they need to calibrate their words to reach the library again. However, worry was starting to set in. Oh no, what if I miss the Accounting exam? (arm in arm and looking towards Shirlene) Well, that would be depressing, but you could always go for retail therapy. Shopping; like diamonds, are a girls best friend. Anyway, Miss Marilyn will help you out, Im sure.

Shirlene: Kit Yi:

SCENE 5 ACT 1

Narrator:

Just then, it happened again. They moved forward from Elvis 1950s to the 1960s. They appeared in a scene from Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend, where Marilyn Monroe is extolling the virtues of diamonds. This is bizarre. Wed better run, better do what we can to beat the clock. We gotta beat it. (In the action of trying to run)

Shirlene:

UOL NIGHT SKETCH: A RETRO MUSICAL

Kit Yi:

Err.did you really mean what you just said

SCENE 6 ACT 1

Narrator:

But they were interrupted by a guy singing, Michael Jackson, unrelenting as ever with his style, was all passionate with angst as he swaggered and belted his song.

Xin Ying: MV)

"Owh no, they are fighting, let's run for our life" (fighting scene from 'Beat It'

Kit Yi:

"All these running is making me so tired, luckily I've got my pumped up kicks on" or "All these running is going to ruin my pumped up kicks" (Since they were also running from Elvis scene to Michael Jackson's scene)

SCENE 7 ACT 1

Narrator:

With that, the magic words brought them back to the 21st century, specifically 13th January 2012. They appeared among a crowd of people, and soon realised where they are. "Hey, is that Foster the People?" (pointing to somewhere) (look to the direction) "Oh my god, yes they are! (Excited) I've been wanting to see them perform live in KLCC, but the tickets were sold out. Now I finally got the chance" "KLCC? Performing live? Does this means we are back to the present time?" (suddenly realised) "Yes!!!! We did it!! Damn, we should have visited the future for the exam answers." "We should". (Both sigh.) And thats a story for another time!

Xin Ying: Kit Yi:

Xin Ying: Kit Yi:

Xin Ying: Narrator:

END

UOL NIGHT SKETCH: A RETRO MUSICAL