Home Again

By Rich Van Winkle As I approached the Pearly Gates I was rather stunned I had never expected to get this far. I was never religious, had not attended church, and almost never prayed. I certainly hadnt bought into mainstream theology and would have argued against the existence of this very place. But there he was, a man I assumed was Peter (aka Saint Peter) figuratively holding the keys. He watched me approach with a slight smile on his face. Welcome, he said with a surprisingly mellow voice. I had no idea what to say or do and was suddenly aware of my many shortcomings. His smile grew and I began to wonder if a mistake had been made. Didnt expect this, did you? I could only manage to shake my head. Dont worry, thats quite common. Ive never really figured out why so many dont make it here. After all, you all have a choice. My mind still wasnt quite caught up and I wondered aloud: Are you Saint Peter? Oh, no! Then with a broader smile, he said, I am God. Luckily, I no longer had a physical form, otherwise I would have crapped in my pants. It was then that I realized that I hadnt spoken - he had heard my thoughts. It occurred to me that I didnt have a body how could I speak. Yes, I know everything that you know. Thanks. Thanks? Did God just thank me? Of course, He confirmed. Why do you think you were given life? But then he understood: Oh yes, you never did figure that out, did you? But dont worry, so few of you do. Its one of the great mysteries of the Universe. Life? No. Life is no mystery; the mystery is why the living almost never get it. Finally, my brain no, I mean mind - started to get a better grip on things. But I still hadnt adjusted to having God know my every thought. So, he let my mind ramble on until I stopped it. Then He let me have it No, this is not Heaven. Yes, this is something like Judgment Day. No, this same thing is happening to many others at the moment. God has no space-time dimensions so doing many things at once and being in many places at the same time is normal. Youll have to reconsider the idea of future you have no future. Here is not a place. What youre seeing is entirely imagination its an expectation created by your mind because of cognitive dissonance a relic from living.

Home Again by Rich Van Winkle ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! 2012 BY Rich VW

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Another relic was rapidly taking control mass confusion. But a gentle message filled with warmth and compassion flowed through me. Relax. Try to get beyond your irrational expectations. Let yourself remember this familiar state and return to it. But I couldnt. Or, perhaps, I wouldnt. And then, it happened. My mind was so overwhelmed and the message was so soothing and inviting. I gave in to it. All my worries and fears and silliness faded quickly. And, as all the crud cleared, the memory started to return. Indeed, this was familiar. No, it wasnt just familiar, this was normal. It was as though I was returning home from a long and arduous journey that had so filled my being that I had almost forgotten home. And now, once home again, I was recalling its comfort and familiarity. Ah HOME! My minds image faded and then there was nothing: no God, no gates, no clouds. But there was light. Yes, the light of home - wonderful light. But no, it wasnt light. I couldnt see. What was this glow, this sense? My mind searched for a familiar answer and found none. But then it took a different approach and let the idea form on its own. Ah, yes. The glow wasnt light, it was love. This isnt heaven, this is better. This is. This is. This is. (No, Im not lacking the word or the answer: This is.) So simple. So pure. So profound. This is. The idea was so filling, so complete, and so wonderful. Awe flowed though me and over me and around me. THIS IS! There was nothing needed to complete the thought. Finally, my mind gave up the temporal rigidity that had dominated it for, well, a lifetime. But then I understood or remembered. I had started in this state of being and had been given yes given that other state of being. But just as I started to put it all together, it started to fade away. No, wait. It wasnt fading away, I was. I a concept of individuality. There was a moment of peril and one last fear: Death. And then it faded. Home. Together again. We were able to distinguish what had been me, but it made no sense. It had no context. We had no frame of reference for individuality. We could consider it as a concept, but it was as foreign and unfamiliar as we were to those who are alive. We no more me. And then it began. There was no sound, no sight, no senses. But it sure seemed like giggles. My thought about giggles brought more of the same. I was confused again. If there is no longer any entity to identify as me, how could I have thoughts and memories that were specific to me. God answered gently: Dont worry. It happens every time. You are back with us, but there is a residual field which keeps some parts of who you were intact. We are keeping that part of your former identity intact so that we learn from it otherwise too many of your memories dont make sense. Memories. Indeed, I still had memories. How strange? The only parts of me to remain were memories and thoughts. But the thoughts were no longer just mine and apparently, neither were my memories. You are in transition, a different voice offered and I wondered who it was. Then another: We are all with you and you Home Again by Rich Van Winkle ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! 2012 BY Rich VW Page 2

are with us. Your transition is under way and you will continue to sense time until it is complete. But, if there is no time here, how do I experience it? The same as we do; time becomes the relative intervals between memories and thoughts instead of fixed intervals determined by sensory clues. Im not sure why, but that made perfect sense to me. There is no where, no here. (My thoughts prompted the reply). It simply makes no sense to ask Where am I? There is no you and we are everywhere and anywhere. As for Who are we? - thats a good question. Unfortunately, it is impossible to answer it until your transformation is complete. For now, you have yet to regain a frame of reference which allows an answer. Within your context, We are the collection of souls or spirits which comprise the intelligence behind the Universe. In one sense, we are God. But who was that guy who said that He was God? In an instant, he reappeared. I was created to ease your transition, he offered with a comforting smile. Its helpful because the expectations you created when alive tend to linger with your memories and thoughts. But, it seemed as though you were able to quickly adjust your expectations, so I wasnt needed. Then you lied to me to help with my transition? Oh no, no lies lie within us. The truth is our most sacred goal. But youre not God. That was a lie. Who says? We may not be the God that you were expecting, but does that doesnt change the reality. Then you are God? I mean, we are God? The image faded and so did I. Apparently, the transition was over, but not before I had one last personal thought: Do we have a God?

Home Again by Rich Van Winkle ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! 2012 BY Rich VW

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