Umbrella Issue One

A nev
magazine
lor men
Iashion Architecture Travel Ideas Sport Design

Summer 2OIO
www.umbrellamaazlne.co.uk
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vvv.umbrellamagazine.co.uk
he idea Ior this magazine started with a question: iI we
told you there was a disused Underground station near
your omce, would you want to see it? And everyone we
asked said yes. This led us to believe that perhaps we weren`t the
only men who liked studying maps or reading about secret tunnels
under cities. Yet the individuals we spoke with weren`t your
traditional 'trainspotters`, but males who also loved sport, Iashion
and new ideas. Somcthing was Jcjnitcly going on. The other big
inuence on Umhrclla has been the blogosphere. Blogs, whether
they cover Iashion or urbanism, present content in ways that make
it exciting and relevant. Their appreciation oI detail and knack
oI hnding beauty in the everyday has changed the way we look
at things. So we`ve combined the best oI old and new media Ior
Umhrclla, to create something that truly reects men in the second
decade oI the 2Ist Century. Ln|oy it.
Anthony TcasJalc anJ Matt RcynolJs, LonJon, }uly 20|0
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7 Editions
D8 Bright sparks Indian matchboxes
ID Ncws Amsterdam urban art, NY Subway
map, AIrican moonshines, Nokia 82I0,
Android tablet PCs, GuarJian Iootball guides
I4 Ordinary world I960s Portobello Road
I6 How to cook a. stcak with Hawksmoor
I7 Lcttcr from. Rome
I8 Q&A: Spcnccr Wclls The author oI
PanJora's SccJ on the bad side oI civilization
2D Our favouritc things Aphex Twin`s
SclcctcJ Amhicnt Works (vinyl edition)
22 Thc simplc plcasurcs of. }apanese curry
23 How to stalk a cclcbrity
25 Field trip
26 This is thc modcrn world North
London`s twin |ewels oI early modernism
28 Bcrlin: thc city thcy forgot to hnish
3D Somcwhcrc for thc wcckcnd Umhrclla
goes Ior a little relaxation at Le Meurice, Paris
32 Cycling Rapha Cycle Club and interview
with author oI Bicylc, Helen Addiss
34 Picturc fcaturc 20th Ccntury Travcl
36 Going Ovcrground London`s new line
38 Maps: the British Library`s great exhibition
4I Stories
4I I99D: Thc ycar that changcd cvcrything
42 Rcmcmbcring thc Poll Tax riot
An account oI an amazing, liIechanging day
45 Spikc Island and Glastonbury
46 Italia `9D
48 Ibiza Kevin Sampson`s I990 classic,
A Short Iilm Ahout Chilling
5D Thc powcr and thc glory Mussolini and
the World Cup
53 Fashion
54 Umbrclla lovcs Ralph Lauren`s
Wimbledon collection cricket |umper
56 Chinos
58 Jackcts MA.Strum and Albam
6D Traincrs Adidas Samba and Vans
62 Vintagc Benetton rugby shirt and Sergio
Tacchni Dallas tracksuit
+
64 Mcn and thcir obscssions
66 Coming ncxt issuc
5 Contents
:|o|lcs
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6 Introduction
Umbrella is published by Wool Media, copyright 2010 Editor Anthony Teasdale (tony@umbrellamagazine.co.uk)
Art Director Matt Reynolds (matt@umbrellamagazine.co.uk) Web Mitch Crease (mitch@umbrellamagazine.co.uk)
Advertising Manager Jon Clements (advertising@umbrellamagazine.co.uk) Fashion Editor Natalie Cornish
(natsyc@hotmail.com) Contributors Jon Boon, Terry Daley, Brett Foraker, Alex Rayner, Kevin Sampson, Nick Soldinger
wool
media
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Irom Romc lo Lcwisham via Los Anclcs anJ Livcrpool, lhis issuc`s
wrilcrs rcprcscnl lhc Jivcrsc worlJs oj journalism anJ lmmalin
CONTACT US
info@umbrellamagazine.co.uk
NICK SOLDINGER
Author oI this issue`s piece on the Poll Tax
riot, Nick Soldinger was born and grew up
in southeast London. He`s been Iortunate
enough to have earned a living Irom his
writing Ior the last I6 years in which time
his work has taken him everywhere Irom
Oldham to Iraq. He believes |ournalism to
be the greatest |ob on the planet and wakes
up every day thanking the stars Ior the
Ireedom it allows a man.
KEVIN SAMPSON
Liverpoolborn author Kevin went to Ibiza
in I990 and ended up making the dehnitive
documentary oI the times, A Short Iilm
Ahout Chilling. He talks about it in our I990
special. The hlm version oI Kevin`s classic
book AwayJays is now available on DVD.
His second novel PowJcr has |ust been
made into a movie, too (out summer 20II).
Kevin tells us that "the naughty Ibiza ice
scene made the hnal cut. Hurrah!
NATALIE CORNISH
Natalie Cornish is Umhrclla`s rather lovely
Fashion Lditor. She spends her days
obsessing over men`s clothing trends
(lately, the bow tie and summer |ackets),
running, sewing, travelling and attempting
not to buy shoes (something she Iails
miserably at). This issue, she`s been tracking
down the best chinos, parkas and technical
coats, as well as becoming hxated by cricket
|umpers. She lives in north London.
JON BOON
}on Boon, writer oI our How to stalk a
cclchrity Ieature, is a reporter Ior Splash
News and Picture Agency in Los Angeles.
When he`s not working the latest big
Hollywoodbased scoop, or being shouted
at by a number oI celebrities demanding
their privacy, he can be seen propping
up a rock `n` roll bar on Sunset Boulevard
dreaming oI a Guns `n` Roses reunion.
TERRY DALEY
Terry Daley is a |ournalist, translator and
subeditor based in Rome. He started out
at ICL magazine in 2005 and has worked
in various capacities Ior Maxim, Whcn
SaturJay Comcs and La Gazzctta Dcllo Sport.
A resident oI the Italian capital Ior two
years, in this issue oI Umhrclla he details an
odd experience with a mysterious visitor
to his Roman apartment block.
UMB004
7
I0: Amsterdam, killer

moonshines, Android vs iPad,
I6: Knov your steak
IS: Dr Spencer Wells, plus celeb
stalking, Aphex Tvin, curry Iholoraphy, iJcas, lcchnoloy, jooJ, amuscmcnl
OlJ soaks
Drinkers in Portobello Road, west London
en|oy a reIreshing pint oI old Iashioned
porter, while assorted kids wait Ior
daddy to hnish his nourishment. The
picture comes Irom the book Portohcllo
RoaJ, a collection oI photographs
which documents the area in the
early I960s. See more
on page I4.
8 Editions
www.umbrellamagazine.co.uk www.umbrellamagazine.co.uk
Covered: Collections, matchboxes, India
Indian matchboxes
are a law unto
themselves
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bright
sparks
hat with the British
smoking ban and the
availability of four-
for-a-quid lighters in our city
centres, matches are now little
more than a relic of a time
when everyone pufed and the
only way to light the fre was
with a Bryant and May.
not so in India.
Whether its because people
can happily spark up without
being made to feel like social
pariahs or the lack of those
guns that mums use to light
gas hobs with, matches are
aplenty. and, in keeping
with this colourful, chaotic
country, the diferent brands
of matchmakers ensure an
absolute feast for the eyes.
British artist Matt lee, who
lives in India, is fascinated by
Indias array of matchboxes.
hes made it his goal to collect
as many as he can. Which
sounds dull, but isnt well,
not in Umbrellas eyes.
Walking around Bangalore
city, where I live, you
come across matchboxes
everywhere. cheap and
disposable, they litter the
highways and footpaths,
often to be found scattered
around any roadside chai stall,
cigarette kiosk or dhaba.
the designs range from
tigers (a favourite) and
Bollywood stars (often
wearing sunglasses) to cats
and er giant pencils. there
is no rhyme or reason to any
of them. For Matt, theyre
reminders of where hes been
in this bewitching nation.
each design signifes
a personal memory. together,
the visible scars of all the
battered boxes tell a story;
mapping the places Ive been
and the experiences Ive had.
try explaining that to British
customs ofcers.
W
Details
Bollywood stars vie with
cricketers for cultural
popularity in India. contrary
to belief, Bollywood is not the
whole of the flmindustry
in India, but is just the
most prolifc armof it.
Details
the swastika is an ancient
symbol used in hinduismand
Buddhismto denote good
luck. despite its association in
the West with nazism, its still
displayed without guilt in India.
here, its truly a lucky strike.
10 Editions
Covered: Amsterdam, maps, media
News & information
A selection of the things that make the season worth living
U-feed What Umbrella likes this issue The super-colourful Pantone Hotel in Brussels
brings some brightness to the Belgium capital www.pantonehotel.com 80s Casuals, from
T-shirts with trainers to proper clobber for its winter collection 80scasualsblog.blogspot.
com Taschens Los Angeles: Portrait of a City makes us want to move there 50 years
ago www.taschen.com Sothebys Polaroid Collection auction. Two-hundred-thousand
dollars for a snap Looking at
Steve Jobs in a buttoned-up,
button-down shirt introducing
the iMac in 1998 on YouTube
Acejet170, the best font and
typography site on the net that
weve found. So much enjoyment
from such simple things acejet170.
typepad.com The new and
improved New York subway
map Manhattan, now 30 per
cent bigger! www.mta.info/maps
The birth of
Amsterdam
U n d e r a p p r e c i a t e d
Guardian football guides
With writers as good as Paul Doyle
and Martin Kelner on board, it
shouldnt be a surprise that the
voice of liberal Englands pre-season
supplement is excellent yet were
always blown away by just how ace
it is. Crammed with stuf, you know,
you might actually want to read, plus
shedloads of insight and humour,
the guides are an indispensable tool
for football anoraks and inveterate
gamblers alike. The one the paper
produced for the 2010 World Cup
was a fxture on the Umbrella sofa,
ready to be consulted when the lure
of Mr Hills online betting emporium
proved too much. If this wasnt
enough, every guide is a satisfying
A5-ish size just right to be collected
and put in a shoebox at the back of
the wardrobe, ready to be leafed
through in years to come.
One thing to see this season
If the Maps: Power, Propaganda
and Art exhibition at the British
Library isnt enough, another august
institution is devoting its hallowed
galleries to the study of urban living:
the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.
On The Canals of Amsterdam features
paintings, drawings and exquisitely
detailed maps from the Dutch
Golden Age of the 17th Century,
which saw the city grow into the
most important metropolis in
Europe. By 1672, the population of
Amsterdam was over 200,000 and
the construction of its world famous
half-moon canal system cemented
its place as a vital trading port. Its
this fascinating, expanding city that
the exhibition covers.
The exhibition runs until September 6.
www.rijksmuseum.nl
African moonshines
The illegal drinks that
are sending people crazy.
And yes, they really are
Botswana: Tho-tho-tho,
distilled sorghum brew,
trans: The dizzy spell. Other
local names include O lala
fa (You sleep right here);
Chechisa (Hurry-up); Laela
mmago (Say goodbye to
your mother); Monna-tota
(Real man); and Motse o teng
godimo (There is home
in heaven).
Benin, Togo: Sodabi. Corn
liquor also used as a sterilizer
in voodoo ceremonies.
DR Congo: Kasiki, trans:
I regret; Mokoyo, trans:
The dog that bites.
Kenya: Kumi Kumi,
trans: 10 10, as a glass
costs 20 Kenyan shillings;
Jet 5, distilled alcohol cut
with plane fuel; Hustle,
contains faecal water and
formaldehyde.
Nigeria: Crazy man in
a bottle, a lethal palm wine
distillate; Changaa, trans:
Kill me quick.
Uganda: Waragi, banana
wine cut with industrial
alcohol. The name is a
corruption of the colonial
term War gin.
Zimbabwe: Scud, an
unfltered beer.
Serious note: poorly distilled
spirits contribute to hundreds
of deaths across Africa each
year. The WHO also believes
moonshine contributes to
malnutrition, impoverishment
and domestic violence.
Alex Rayner is the Editor
of bspirit magazine.
www.bspiritmagazine.com
O v e r r a t e d
Weekend fashion supplements
To be a journalist on one of the
big broadsheets style supps is to
have bought the winning ticket in
Easy Streets weekly lottery. Its
not a crime that these mags tend
to be stafed by well-spoken gals
with parents in the media, but their
sheer metropolitan laziness really
does tweek Umbrellas tail. If these
writers ever leave the capital, its
only to write some patronizing article
about how glamourous (ie tarty)
Liverpools women are or why
Newcastles nightlife is so much fun
(ie Lets laugh at the proles). So,
while a certain supp could dedicate
a recent issue to the completely
fctitious new style tribes of (you
guessed it) London, countless scenes,
trends and real tribes around the
UK got missed out. Its not just
politicians who are lazy, is it, ladies?
12 Editions
Covered: Tablet PCs, watercolours, mobile phones
News & information
A real Gentleman
One painters wistful look at the capital
With London changing every day witness the expansion of
skyscrapers that have transformed the City since the mid-
1990s its important that the capital is captured by artists and
photographers so we can see what weve lost or gained in years to
come. This is why Umbrella is so keen on the muted watercolours
painted by David Gentleman, who spent the 1980s documenting
both Londons more familiar central area, such as Primrose Hill
(pictured here in various guises) and the less well-known suburbs
where tourists rarely venture.
Twenty-fve years on, his works have been catalogued in David
Gentlemans London, a gorgeous exploration of the capital city
through the dreamlike medium of watercolour paint. Give or take
a Gherkin or two, London is instantly recognizable, a city with
robustness built into its very fabric, yet here it looks fragile and
otherworldly. If the town does one day sink into the Thames mud,
hopefully well have books around like this to remind us what this
metropolis was really like. For now, however, Gentlemans work
helps us appreciate what weve still got.
David Gentlemans London is published by Antique Collectors Club,
price 25. www.antiquecollectorsclub.com
stasis. They know that you know that theyre
worthless, yet theyre rich and famous and
youre not. Somethings got to give and that
something is usually the name.
Below is a list of some of Umbrellas favourite
actual US weathermen from the past decade.
Please note that a couple of these fellows have
recently retired. Also note that for several years
Dallas Raines and Johnny Mountain actually
worked in the same city. Amazing.
Ray Ban The Weather Channel
Dallas Raines KABC, Los Angeles
Joe Bastardi AccuWeather
Mish Michaels CBS4, Boston
Johnny Mountain KCBS, Los Angeles
Storm Field WWOR (UPN), Secaucus, NJ
Flip Spiceland NBC WXIA, Atlanta, Georgia
Brett Foraker is a flm-maker and scriptwriter
Tip: www.themorningnews.org
Weather by name.
Weather by nature
Ron Burgandys weatherman was,
if anything, an exercise in subtlety
In America, local TV weathermen (or
meteorologists as they like to be called) are a
curious bunch. They exist in a kind of cheesy
m u c h m i s s e d . . .
Nokia 8210
Anyone who says they dont drool over the iPhone 4 is
either a liar or er someone who doesnt drool over the
iPhone 4. Anyway, while Apples latest communicator
pretty much defnes what technology is about at the
beginning of the 2010s (along with HTCs Android-running
Desire), were still in love with the phone that made
mobiles not just functional, but actually objects of desire,
Nokias exquisite 8210.
Weighing in at a tiny 79g with the battery in, and boasting
dimensions of just 101.5mmx44.5mmx17.4mm, the 8210
truly was the most mobile of mobile phones. Small enough
to be slipped in the pocket of a pair of jeans, it would only
alert its owner to call with a discreet vibration. Something,
in those still mobile-phobic times, that non-attention
seekers appreciated.
Today, it seems awfully basic theres no camera,
internet or mobile flm-editing function. And yet truly, an
8210 is really all you need especially if you favour form
and function. So even though Umbrellas is no longer in
use, it sits on the shelf, ready to be turned on once more
should Mr Jobs newest device have a terminal breakdown.
Connecting people, thats what they said and thats still
ultimately what its all about.
Fancy a Moonse?
How China and Google are combining to
take on the iPad
Apples iPad is, like the iPhone before it,
spurring on a whole slew of developers to
come out with rivals. Unsurprisingly, the
most innovative tablets are coming, not from
California, but from China. And Umbrella is
especially intrigued by the Moonse E-7001
from Shenit.com.
Running Googles Android 1.5/6 operating
system, the Moonse is, at seven inches long,
smaller than the iPad, but it boasts two USB
ports, SD slots, an audio jack, front-facing
camera and a single Apple-like navigation
button. It retails at just $160.
Shenit is not the only company looking to
get onto the Android bandwagon Samsung
will release its own tablet, the Galaxy, using
the operating system in the near future. Web
developer Loz Gray says its Android that is
the key to the tablet market.
At the present time, Andriod is looking like
it will be the only serious competitor to iOS
(the system used by the iPad, iPhone and iPod
Touch) for tablets. Whilst they still lead in
the desktop space, Microsoft currently seem
to be trying to force that standard desktop
operating system (OS) onto a tablet. Windows
7 is a great desktop OS, but its designed
exactly for that a desktop machine with a
mouse. For a tablet, Windows 7 is overkill.
Gray also believes that with hundreds of
applications available for Android, it makes
sense for programmers to work with it,
especially as its free to license, which cuts
down the cost to consumers. Then theres
the matter of Webkit.
This is the underlying technology for the
web browsers used in WebOS, Android, iOS
and, soon, RiMs Blackberry, he says. Why
is this important? Because more and more
people are using web applications, such as
Google Docs, to get their work done. If you
were a developer of such an application, why
would you spend extra time and efort getting
things to work with Microsofts browser
technology, a minority in this space, when
you can kill four birds with one stone by
developing solely for Webkit-based browsers?
While the Moonse may not be the answer to
all your tablet needs, its appearance is a sign
that Googles philosophy is paying dividends
all over the world.
www.lozworld.com
Covered: The 60s, photography, London
Ordinary world
How the swinging 60s swerved one of west
Londons most famous thoroughfares
P
ortobello Road is a true
London icon. Known
primarily for its antiques
market and, more recently, a
plethora of organic grocers and
falafel takeaways, this winding lane
is one of the few streets in town
where yummy mummies, frst
generation West Indians and old
school cockneys can rub up together
with little ill-feeling. But while the
area around it certainly at the
upper end in Notting Hill now
contains some of the most expensive
real estate in the world, this hasnt
always been the case.
In the early 1960s, Ladbroke Grove
and Notting Hill were best known
for race riots, slum housing and the
sort of nocturnal dwellings that have
always serviced the vicarious needs
of the capital. This world has been
captured in a new book, Portobello
Road, which features the work of
John Petty, a photographer who
documented the area when it was
still a relic of an older London.
Looking at his pictures, we see
that the W11 of this period was
very diferent to the one of today.
Instead of designer boutiques, we
fnd formidable old women manning
fruit and veg stores, men in fasher
macs searching for paintings and
legions of (very) ordinary folk
supping brown ale and smoking
Embassy outside scrufy boozers.
This terrifc book also reminds us
that no matter how deeply our roots
grow, London, that most impersonal
of cities, soon grows tired of us
and sends us on our way with such
speed that we leave barely a trace
behind. Something the incomers of
todays Portobello Road would do
well to bear in mind.
Portobello Road is published by
Antique Collectors Club, priced 12.95.
www.antiquecollectorsclub.com
An old street
Portobello Road is named after a British
naval victory at Puerto Bello in the Gulf of
Mexico. Originally a rural track from Notting
Hill to the newly-named Portobello farm,
by the end of the 19th Century, the road
was lined with shops and houses. The
current antiques market began
after World War II.
Editions 14
Editions
Covered: Dining, steak I6
HOW TO
here is nothing so satisIying as a decent
steak. At Umhrclla we like ours |uicy
and marbled with Iat (oh, how much we
lovc Iat), pink in the middle and charred
and salty on the outside.
With all the ma|or supermarkets stocking
properly aged beeI, and restaurants like Meet
in Liverpool and The Grill on The Alley in
Manchester providing diners outside the capital
with quality steak, it`s never been easier to
buy the real deal, which, though it costs a little
more, is always worth the investment.
In Shoreditch, east London, an area known Ior
more Ior its trendihcation than its quality eating
houses, steak restaurant Hawksmoor takes its
meat vcry seriously. Lvery day, hungry diners
order chateaubriands, porterhouses and rumps,
all oI which come Irom carcasses that have been
hung Ior 35 days to concentrate their avour.
"Our beeI is produced by the Ginger Pig Iarm
in North Yorkshire, says one oI Hawksmoor`s
owners, Tim Gould. "They`re longhorn cattle
- a rare breed - and Ieed on a diverse range oI
grasses rather than lots oI grain, so they really
taste oI the land they graze on. The Iarm is the
only one in the UK with an abattoir on site,
which means the cows walk past it every day.
It`s only on the day they`re killed that they turn
right instead oI leIt. Thus there`s no stressIul
drive to a slaughterhouse miles away, which
can release chemicals in the animal and in turn
taint the meat so it tastes bad.
FILLET
Position on animal: Back
Hawksmoor says: "The hllet is
shaped like a torpedo and hidden
by other back muscles so it does
virtually no work and has less
avour. But its texture is melt
inthemouth. You can go Ior a
chateaubriand at one end or the
mignon at the other, but as there
are only two hllet muscles in each
cow, it`s the most expensive cut.
A really good tip is to brush your
hllet with bone marrow - so you
get taste anJ texture.
Rccommcndcd winc: A Pinot Noir
Irom Oregon or New Zealand
RIBEYE
Position on animal: Front
Hawksmoor says: "As this area
protects the internal organs there`s
a lot oI Iat around. Add to this the
Iact the muscles here do little work and
you`re getting something with a velvety
texture, but with huge amounts oI avour.
This should be cooked slower - ideally Ior
24 hours in the oven at 50 degrees - then
hnished on a charcoal grill.
Rccommcndcd winc: A Iullbodied
Bordeaux or Cabernet Sauvignon
Hawksmoor, I57 Commcrcial Strcct, LonJon,
LI B}. www.thehawksmoor.co.uk
1
Ccllin lo lnow hccj rcquircs lnowlcJc oj hioloy, aricullurc anJ hulchcry
Cook ihe perleci sieak
Who better, then, to educate Umhrclla about
exactly what to do with the dierent cuts?
RUMP
Position on animal: Rear
Hawksmoor says: "As the muscles oI the rump
do lots oI work, the meat is tougher, but tasty
and low in Iat. It shouldn`t be cooked Ior more
than three to Iour minutes each side. And then
it should be leIt Ior the same period to relax.
Rccommcndcd winc: CaliIornian ZinIandel
SIRLOIN
Position on animal: Lower back
Hawksmoor says: "The sirloin does some
work, but not as much as the rump, so it`s more
tender. The higher Iat content means that it
tastes great too. We cook it on the bone so it
keeps its shape.
Rccommcndcd winc: ChateauneuIduPape
WORLD OF STEAK
Argentina: The steak here is all
about freshness. They dont hang
their beef what youre getting is
less avour, but more moisture.
United States: With little regulation,
a lot of animals are reared too fast
and may contain extra hormones.
United Kingdom: We like to hang
our meat in Britain, which means
the moisture content reducwes and
youre left with avoursome meat.
CHUCK
RIB
LOIN
RUMP
ROUND
BRISKET
PLATE
FLANK
SHANK
Editions I7
LETER FROM ROME
Covered: Tricksters, Rome
Iten in a Roman block oI ats, you`ll
hear the sound oI the buzzer. Mostly,
it`s mates calling up to be let into
the building, or a postman, or maybe even a
spark or whoever else is being employed by
the (the collective oI at owners in
the block) to do bits oI maintenance work. It`s
not a problem letting people in, even iI they`re
|ust pressing any old number outside to gain
access, and I`ve had stilted chats with many
a gru Roman plumber in my time.
Today, I`m working on a Ireelance contract
I`ve recently landed, when the buzzer goes.
I pick up the phone by the Iront door, and
am asked whether I am one "Signor Iommi,
who happens to be our landlord. No, I say,
he doesn`t live here anymore, what`s this all
about? "Well, the voice explains, "I`m the
administrator oI the , and there are
people in the building who owe us money Ior
cleaning in the building, can I come in?
I press the buzzer to let him in the main
gate, and this shambling, bristlylooking chap
trundles up the stairs, walking in a ghoulish
Iashion, like his shoulders are carrying the rest
oI his body and his legs are there Ior show.
Upon arrival, the man shows me a cleaning
bill Ior CI40 and asks me whether I can pay it
now, as it`s been outstanding Ior a while.
I explain in the best Italian I can manage that
there`s no way I can hand over that much cash,
and in any case it`s not my responsibility to do
so. Speak to Claudio, the landlord.
"No, no, he explains, "I`ll come with you to
the cashpoint.
Obviously I`m not getting through to him, so
I call my Italianspeaking girlIriend and ask her
to give him whatIor more uently, as well as
our landlord`s phone number. She then rings
the landlord to have a go at him: iI he`s coming
round, why not Icking well tell us?
The administrator sits at the kitchen
table in a Ioul mood, scowling at the
hallway like a putout loan
shark. I |ust want my money,
he`s clearly thinking, what is it
with these stupid Ioreigners?
Lventually he gets through to the
landlord, who explains to him that it`s
his responsibility to pay, "so come and meet
me at the restaurant later on tonight, and I`ll
give you the cash on the spot.
"I`ll go with him to the cashpoint though,
continues the man, talking about me, "and
you can deduct it Irom his rent. Or I can wait
here while he goes to get it.
"No, we`re not doing that, come to the
restaurant tonight.
The guy hangs up and tells me it`s all sorted,
thanks Ior being patient, beIore dragging
himselI out oI the at. Now, the lady and I are
really pssed o about this, but the landlord
rings up ten minutes later and apologises
proIusely Ior it. It`s an honest
mistake, I let it go.
Later in the evening Claudio is
in his usual spot, the Napolitano
restaurant that his hrm delivers
cuts oI meat to, having a coee and
a bite to eat while he waits Ior
the administrator. Only he never
shows. Now being halI an hour
or so late in Italy is practically
being on time, but this guy
was desperate Ior the money
right now, so where is he? He
calls the administrator to ask
what`s going on - aIter all, he`s not
usually so insistent Ior the cash.
"What do you mean, 'Where
am I?` the administrator asks.
"Well, you wanted money Ior the
O
1he conman and
ihe
}ournalisl cls his jcalhcrs ru[cJ
hy a vcry insislcnl Roman cnllcman
cleaning work a Iew hours ago, what`s going on?
HalIway through Claudio`s phone call, the penny drops.
"This man was a con artist, he explains.
The actual administrator had never done any cleaning work,
and in any case Claudio always pays promptly and by direct
debit. This Iella (apart Irom doing a mean administrator
impression) was going around ats with Ioreign names - in
our case, the name oI our Slovak housemate - attached to the
buzzer button outside in the hope that they`d not have any
idea what was going on. Not only that, he was doing it in the
same building, over and over again, and others on this street.
He`s probably researching his next mark as I write.
II that`s the case, I really, really hope he comes back in here
again. We can have a nice chat.
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Covered: Genetics, pre-history
s head of the Genographic Project,
which collects hundreds of thousands
of DNA samples from around the
world, Wells has been able to build a family
tree for everyone alive today. The results of
these studies form the basis of his new book.
Umbrella spoke to him about agriculture,
AIDS and why fatty food tastes so good
Umbrella: The premise of the book is that
civilization makes us ill
Spencer Wells: Yes, certainly the ancillary baggage
thats involved in it. Its not uniformly bad, but
its not this utter period of joy either. You look
at the disease burden thats increased as weve
domesticated animals and how population density
has gone up. You look at the shifts in government
and people being unable to pursue their dreams
and having to subsist under a regime. Weve lost
an awful lot of freedom.
U: How?
SW: People who study hunter-gatherers call them
the original afuent society because it took very
little efort to go survive in the conditions they
were living in. This meant they could tell stories,
invent tools and innovate. Once you were tied
to the feld, you were working every day, up at
sunrise bringing the kids out there, having more
kids so you could till more felds the population
expanded, but it wasnt because that way of life
was better for us in many ways it was worse.
U: How did agriculture begin?
SW: It was around the time of the Younger Dryas,
[a mini-ice age around 11,000 years ago], that we
were forced to innovate. People were using wheat,
but the climatic shifts made the crop retreat. Yet
people had already made a decision to stay in one
place, build villages and gather wheat, which, if
they did for two or three weeks could feed them
for a year. When this stuf disappeared there was
no way they would go back to being nomadic, so
they had to develop a way to produce more and
the way to do that was to plant the seeds.
U: You point out that our domestication of
animals led to an increase in disease
SW: Before we lived with domesticated animals,
we hadnt been in close contact with them unless
they were dead. When youre living with them for
a number of years anything can jump back and
forth. Youve got all these plagues in The Bible that
come out of this period. Render pest jumps over
from cows and becomes measles and, because
of the high population, theres lots of rodents
about, so smallpox is transferred from them. Even
malaria, which had been around 100,000 years
really exploded then, because we were creating
perfect conditions for mosquitoes.
U: What was killing us before agriculture?
SW: It was trauma: you fall down, break a leg, it
gets infected, you die. You get a tooth abscess
you die. You get into an argument, youre hit over
the head you die. When we settled into densely
populated societies, it became less likely. As I said,
what happens more are these infectious diseases
from other species. Thats the major killer until the
20th Century. Whats killing us now are diseases
from within. That was set in motion back then.
U: And then theres the tooth decay
SW: Once agriculture starts, our tooth cavities go
up by a factor of fve, because of the starch in the
diet. Hunter-gatherer populations living in well-
studied sties in Syria, just prior to the Neolithic
period [7,000-3,000BC], ate 150 plant species.
Immediately after agriculture theyre eating just
ten, and its mostly wheat and barley. Theyre
ingested in the form of starch [wheat, corn etc],
which sticks around and forms acid on your teeth
and suddenly you have cavities on your teeth.
U: Why is that unheatlthy food tastes good?
SW: We have receptors for sweet-tasting and bitter-
tasting things in our food. If things taste sweet its
generally because theyre actually good for us.
Theres a lot of calories, theyre not poisonous
think of a nice, fresh pineapple, everyone likes
that. Were also adapted to recognise bitter things
can be poisonous.
The issue is that now theres an excess of sweet
and fat which, incidentally, is another thing that
appeals to us, because its got lots of calories.
Were adapted to a life when it was difcult to
fnd these things. Prior the 20th Century, sugar
was hard to get, we used to honey, that was rare,
expensive. Refned sugars a great way for things to
taste good. Eric Schlosser says in Fast Food Nation
that if you look at big name burger chains, theres
things that shouldnt have sugar added to them,
but do, because theyre appealing to those ancient
receptors by adding key ingredients.
U: Are there any other ways civilization is
harming us?
SW: Mental illness. The World Health Organisation
estimates that by 2020, mental illness will be the
second-biggest cause of death and disability in the
world after heart disease. Anti-depressants are the
mostly prescribed drug class in the US and some
European countries. Eight per cent of Americans
are on them. This is the frst time in history that
weve taken drugs to feel normal.
Its another example of us being crammed into
massive cities. Can you walk down a street and
say hello to people? No, of course not, but thats
unnatural to our hunter-gather psyche, which
evolved to live in groups of no more than 150
where you know everybody. Think of everyone
in an elevator looking at the Blackberry and not
talking, thats profoundly unnatural. Our minds
are reacting to this.
U: As humans are we not programmed to act
only when we have to?
SW: Its not just about education and incentives.
Without them were not going to act. We need to
see the proximal cost. Global warming, everyone
has a sense this isnt sustainable in the longer
term, but to a lot of people that means, After
Im dead. Basically, the science is saying that its
going to take a millennium for the efects to be
seen. We need to act now, but we dont act unless
we see an immediate beneft. If you penalise
people for not recycling then theyll do it. We need
that sense of urgency, but weve been able to fool
ourselves. Weve been expanding since we came
out of Africa, but for the frst time in the middle of
this century that will plateau.
U: Whats been our worst innovation?
SW: In terms of long-term afects, I do think
agriculture. We were forced into it, but if you
could take a broad view from say 50,000 years
from now, youd pinpoint that as a bad moment.
U: What would have happened if agriculture
hadnt been invented?
SW: Wed still be living as hunter-gatherers, but in
a more sustainable way. Its not easy to imagine,
as civilization, cities, farming are so ingrained in
what we are. And we like a lot of what civilization
gives us I do too. Im just arguing theres some
downsides. We wouldnt have cities, but we wouldnt
have epidemic disease, obesity and AIDS either.
U: Finally, where now?
SW: We have to want less. Greed is not good for
us, it destroys us and the world we live in.
question answer
A
Where do modern
humans come from?
There was an early coastal migration from
the Rift Vally that went along the south coast
of Asia about 50-60,000 years ago and it made
it to Australia. About 5,000 years later, there
was an inland migration that went to the Sinai
Peninsula between 40-50,000 years ago. Most
of us outside of Africa can trace ourselves to
that migration. They would have moved up
into central Asia into the Steppes, hunting
wooly mammoths, then turned left into
Europe about 35,000 years ago.
hoW humans nearly
died out
This phase was sparked by the volcanic
eruption of Toba, which happened 74,000
years ago, the largest eruption in the last two
million years. Hundreds of millions of tons of
ash and sulphur dioxide went into the upper
atmosphere and there was basically a global
nuclear winter for at least a decade. That,
coupled with the shift in the Ice Age, meant
conditions were really tough for hunter-
gatherers. The human population crashed to
as low as 2,000 and we nearly became extinct.
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In his new book, Pandoras Seed: The Unforeseen Cost of Civilization,
geneticist Spencer Wells argues that the human races move from a hunter-
gathering society to one based on agriculture, laid the foundations for
everything from global warming to the present obesity epidemic
The seeds
of desTrucTion
by 2020, menTAl
illness will be The
second-biggesT
cAuse of deATh in
The world
20 Editions
Covered: Ambient, Aphex Twin, vinyl
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ome things are timeless. Its hard, however
to pinpoint what it actually is about these
items (whether theyre material or not) that
makes them able to withstand the assault of changing
tastes. but, its fair to say, that simplicity is probably
the key to their longstanding success.
the aphex twins Selected Ambient Works is a simple
and very beautiful record, both in the way it sounds
and the way it looks. released in 1992 on apollo, the
ambient ofshoot of infuential belgian imprint (note
muso term there, kids) r&s, the album was a clear
signal that techno, the music that had soundtracked
much of the early rave era, was moving in a more
thoughtful direction. apollo, with its focus on
dreamy ambience, was further proof of this change in
philosophy.
richard James, the aphex twin, was already known
for Didgeridoo, the 140bpm single that had taken rave
we thought to its limit. but saW was diferent. With
the drums low in the mix, the album relied more on
James knack for writing catchy melodies than it did
on his ability to make a kick drum sound like someone
digging up the road. In the days before virtual studios,
a drum machine, sampler and some simple keyboards
were all that were needed for the Cornishman to make
beautiful, glacial, home-listening electronica. the fact
that much of it was written, supposedly, when he was
in his early teens made it even more remarkable.
there was mystery here, too. not for James the
arent-we-naughty? drug-referencing titles of his
peers. Instead, his compositions were given names
like Xtal, Pulsewidth and Schottkey 7th Path. these
werent titles that slipped of the tongue.
Finally, there was the design of the album and the
appearance of that logo soon to grace thousands of
t-shirts and the walls of many a lank-haired student.
like all the greatest album covers and indeed, the
greatest albums fuss was dispensed with, the only
thing that mattered was the message. and on Selected
Ambient Works, graphic simplicity knocked fancy new
computer techniques (seen on contemporary records
like sven Vaths Accident in Paradise) into a cocked hat.
god knows what the message actually was, though.
stamped onto two slices of vinyl itself a refection
that more people were dJing and thus needed a louder
pressing SAW is, without sounding too david sullivan
about this, 12 inches of pure bliss. thats why nearly
20 years on, its still gets more rotation on the Umbrella
stereo than anything else. Perfect.
Our favOurite things
The Aphex Twin
Selected Ambient Works
85-92 (vinyl edition)
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James has claimed to have over
100 hours of unreleased music
from the period in which
SAW was recorded.
James odd titles are in keeping
with the aura of mystery that
surrounds him. The name Aphex
Twin, comes from a brand
of audio processing equipment.
Richard James, already aware of
the power of symbols, did away
with track titles on the labels,
replacing them with his logo.
Details
Selected Ambient Works was
the Aphex Twins frst LP. Later
albums include Surfng on Sine
Waves, drukQs and the Analord
compilation of analogue electro.
R&S records was the premier
European techno label of the
early 1990s. It was based in
Gent, Belgium.
Covered: Cooking, }apan, curry 22 Editions
he British love moist Iood. It`s there in our devotion to
smothering our roasts with gravy and our nearslavish
enthusiasm Ior Indian curries and the thick sauces that
make them so inauthentically delicious. In the east oI Scotland,
chippies spray their oerings with 'sauce`, a tangy concoction oI HP
and vinegar, while a 'sausage dinner` in the north west`s takeaways
means two pork bangers, chips and lashing oI dark, unctuous onion
gravy. No doubt about it, we are a wet Iood nation.
Fighting Ior liquid supremacy in the chip shop with gravy is
Chinese curry sauce. Distinct Irom the 'real` curries oI Indian
restaurants, this stu is more oI a thick, spicy gravy, ladelled into
polystyrene cups by elderly Cantonese gentlemen, so it`s still hot
when it`s poured on your steamed pudding and chips.
But it`s the growing popularity oI }apanese cuisine - mostly
through the Wagamama noodle chain - that`s seen this oriental
manna ourish in a new context - namely the chicken katsu curry.
This hearty dish (overwhelmingly ordered by men, according to our
source at Wagamama) takes a deepIried, breaded cutlet oI chicken
and a portion oI rice, and covers them with a ood oI what can only
be described as Grade A chippy curry sauce. It is a wonder to behold,
as can be seen by the hordes oI blokes blissIully happy in the 'katsu
zone` whenever one visits a branch.
It`s no accident that this stu is so well liked by British diners - it
was our greatgrandIathers who introduced curry to the }apanese
through the eastern sea trade. The only trouble is that this meal is
so nice, so utterly addictive, that the urge Ior it comes when one`s
wallet cannot always allow Ior a trip to Wagamama or some such
similar establishment.
Happily - and believe us, Umhrclla was ecstatic when we Iound
this out - this deeply savoury sauce is available to buy in a variety
oI strengths Irom oriental supermarkets up and down the land.
Which means that anyone who lives in a reasonably sized city can
make this meal at home.
All you need to do is buy some breaded chicken, boil a bit oI rice
and mix the curry concentrate with - in true `70s style - a Iew cupIuls
oI boiling water. And there you have it, a hearty chunk oI edible
happiness that sits perIectly with a couple oI bottles oI Asahi and
a rather good Iootball match on the television.
THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF
Tasty
The curry sauce in this dish
contains apples, turmeric,
honey, curry powder and
garlic. We |ust buy the
instant stu.
a }apanese curry
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2J Editions Covered: Celebrities, Los Angeles, the media
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LA rcporlcr
lnows lhc hcsl way lo lail
a HollywooJ slar - anJ il
hclps ij lhcy`rc in on lhc acl
wherever they`re going, but still ash
a smile Ior the camera, give everyone what
they want beIore going about their business.
ProIessional, see. It`s oIten the B and Clist
actors with ego problems that like to try
and outrun you because they "|ust can`t
stand the attention and we`re ruining
their champagnesupping, supermodel
schtupping lives. These types don`t normally
sell anyway, so you`re usually only bothering
to try and stave o boredom while you wait
Ior someone like Tom Cruise. When this
happens, it`s best to do two things: keep
Iollowing him simply to dick him o, then sit
back saIe in the knowledge he`ll be scouring
the blogs Ior pictures oI himselI tomorrow
and, seeing none, have to conclude that he
is, in Iact, irrelevant.
Step 4: The mutual backscratching
Once you`ve been in the game a while, you
realize that it`s not all lurking in the bushes
like a sex oender while a poor, innocent
celebrity goes about her daily routine,
unluckily getting caught rollerblading in a
bikini and a Iull Iace oI slap.
Usually, it starts with a phone call.
Ms X: "Hi, I`m going to be down at Venice
Beach with my new boyIriend in two hours.
Me: "Lr, who`s this?
Ms X: "It`s xxxxxxx [recent divorcee].
Me and my boyIriend will on the promenade
at around 4pm. We want to do a setup.
But you`ll have to do it Irom a distance so
it looks candid.
Me: "OK.
Location sorted. Pictures taken. Lxhusband
thoroughly Icked o by the sight oI his
'cougar` ex and her new |ailbait boyIriend
snogging. }ob done and still time Ior a
cheeky pint aIter work.
Step 5: The undercover op
Things have moved on a bit since the
eyeholescutoutoIanewspaper routine,
and this method can get great results.
Say an international Iootball star is in town,
an international Iootball star who has a rep
as a massive shagger with a penchant Ior
getting a tan - well, you go to where most
oI his work is done: his hotel. Grease a Iew
service industry palms and you`ll know
where people are staying when they`re in
town. Then you book a room overlooking the
pool, and keep your lens trained on it while
ordering room service you can claim back as
expenses. As inevitably as the recession oI
Wayne Rooney`s hairline, he will eventually
come out, babyoil himselI up to cook in
the midday sun and gravitate towards the
nearest set oI scantilyclad women.
Step 6: The night stealth
AIorementioned lothario will probably
want to go out in the evenings too. But
LA is Iull oI hipster clubs crammed with
sweating tossers, so which one will he be
at? This is where your highly trained powers
oI deduction come in handy. Conceal a
compact camera about your person, dress to
ht in with the crowd and head to wherever
Paris Hilton`s going. That`s where he`ll be.
HOW TO
tep I: The classic sitoutsidetheir
houseandwait routine
Lvery celebrity, no matter how
boring (yes, you, Aniston) has stu to do.
You know, like, go to the gym, ponce about
with their agent in swanky restaurants or
parade their dog}child around a local park -
usually while it`s wearing more designer gear
than poor saps like us will see in a liIetime.
Lvery pap worth his comedysized lens
knows where they live, so you pick the one
who`s had the most tabloidworthy scandal in
their liIe recently and wait. They come out,
you Iollow them. Simple, unless.
Step 2: They don`t come out
This can be a problem. II something really
big happens they can |ust stay inside. For
weeks. And iI you live in a luxury Hollywood
Hills mansion this isn`t really a hardship.
So they stay in, sip cocktails and lounge
by their inhnity pool, while we sit outside,
sipping Starbucks and relieving ourselves
behind the bins oI the crooner next door.
Step 3: They try and lose you
Alisters usually put up and shut up.
Lventually, they`ll resurIace and be tailed to
S
Sialk a celebrliy
25 Iield trip
lic|J |rip
26: Modernism in London
2S: Berlin, our viev
JI: Iive reasons not
to go to Brazil
J6: London Overground Archilcclurc, lravcl anJ lransporl
Le Meurice is perhaps Paris`

most Iamous hotel. We explore
its sumptuous rooms, bars
and restaurants on
page 30.
26 Field trip
Covered: Architecture, modernism, London
This is the
modern way
Highpoint, Highgate, London N6
Like Hampstead, its slightly larger
sibling across the Heath, Highgate
seems to have been transported from the
Cotswolds and dropped into the middle
of north London. The village, and it really
does feel like one, is made up of Georgian
villas, rows of elegant Victorian terraces and
several modernist blocks, the best of which is
Highpoint. As an example of urban(ish) living
it really takes some beating.
Highpoint is made up of two blocks (1 built
1933-35, 2 1936-38), both designed by the
architect Berthold Lubetkin, a Russian emigre
who arrived in England during 1931. An
enthusiastic disciple of Le Corbusier, Lubetkin
designed other buildings infused with the
French architects modernist philosophy,
like the Genesta Road terrace in Plumstead,
south London and the Finsbury Health Centre
in Clerkenwell. Infuential though these
structures may be, they cannot match the
timeless simplicity of Highpoint.
Like the Lawn Road fats in Hampstead
(see 2), Highpoint benefts from a stunning
location (the highest point in London, hence
the name) and a large percentage of painfully
tasteful residents, who pretty much defne the
smug metropolitan elite tag. According to
one, St Etiennes Bob Stanley, the block
comes into its own in summer. Lubetkin
based the layout on nearby Kenwood
country house, and the building looks most
spectacular when seen from the sloping
lawns. The swimming pool is always busy on
sunny weekends its your chance to meet
your neighbours Russian cousins youve
heard so much about while the tennis courts
are used by octogenarians who look so ft you
feel ashamed to take them on. Lubetkin was
obsessed with blurring indoors and outdoors;
each fat is heated from the ceiling to give
the impression of the sun beaming down.
The sense of community is heightened by the
buildings bi-plane layout, which means the
fats overlook each other.
However, not everything Lubetkin designed
was as elegant and livable as Highpoint. His
block in Bethnal Green in the East End looks
like the sort of place youd want to throw
yourself of rather than live in.
However, if you do want go and see
Highgpoint youll fnd it about ten minutes
walk from Highgate Tube station. And the
pub across the road isnt bad either.
Lawn Road fats, Hampstead, NW3
While Highpoint boasts a stunning
location that overlooks the capital,
the fats at Lawn Road sit on a pleasant, but
ordinary, street just south of Hampstead
Heath. Its only on further inspection that you
realise just how beautiful they are.
Built between 1932 and 1934 by the London
architectural practice Isokon for 20s yuppies
and their Bakelite telephones, the fats were
described by one resident, the novelist Agatha
Christie, as looking like an ocean liner. We
dont know about that Umbrella certainly
couldnt fnd any retired hairdressers blowing
their pensions but it does have an elegance
undimmed by time. Its principal architect
Wells Coates said:
My scheme provides a place which every
actor in this drama can call his own place,
and further than that my idea of property
does not go. This is where I sleep, this is
where I work and this is where I eat. This
is the roof garden where everyone can turn
out...This is the garden where everyone goes.
Its like a park.
1
Over the years, the fats started to
deteriorate, but in 2001 the block underwent
a restoration, and now look fantastic.
However, much as we love the modernism
the Lawn Road development represents, so
many crimes were done in this movements
name during the 1950s and 60s that it will
always be associated with asbestos-flled
tower blocks, Soviet-style town halls and
the destruction of some of our greatest city
centres (see Birmingham).
The problem is that on a rainy island like
ours, the steel that reinforces the concrete in
even the best buildings soon starts to rust, the
once-pristine cladding goes grey and heroin
addicts become magically attracted to the
convenience of communal living/stealing.
Maybe thats why Le Corbusiers vision of
a machine for living works better in the
Mediterranean. Unless, sadly, its Naples.
Lawn Road fats then are an example of
how constant upkeep should be as much a
part of modernist living as grand ideas about
communal co-habitation. A fresh coat of
paint every year, a caretaker to make sure
the residents are behaving themselves and
as many good summers as its possible to
hope for will keep our modern gems looking
as good now as they did 80 years ago. Lawn
Road proves that maxim perfectly.
North London boasts two
treasures of early modernist
architecture. Umbrella took
the Northern Line to ponder
how time has treated these
jewels of 1930s utopia
Highpoint announces its
presence to visitors
Greek goddesses as supports
Right angles
The beautifully designed
entrance is framed by trees
Highpoint lives up to its name
Lawn Road fats
The fats were described as
being like an ocean liner
Rounded corners and smooth
passages face the street
Shades of 1930s cinema on
Lawn Roads stairwell
The fats still carry the name
of the architectural practice
that designed the building
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Haven
The fats were popular with
Jewish intellectuals several
of whom were architects
on the run from Nazi
Germany.
28 Field trip
Covered: Berlin, cities, metros,
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Berlin 2010: the city
they forgot to fnish
ost big cities have a trendy quarter, or more
accurately a place where privileged arty types
can take over and price the locals out. In paris
its belleville, in london, hoxtons been a magnet for
posers since the early 1990s and even palma, Mallorca,
has (the admittedly fantastic) santa Catalina and its
collection of arty cafes (ie ones with blackboards on
the wall). but after visiting berlin recently, Umbrella
can categorically say that the german capital knocks all
pretenders to the cool throne into a cocked hat. simply
put, every part of berlin is trendy even Wedding,
which looks like the shankill roads rougher cousin.
It takes a while to work out the city out, but it
basically follows the pattern of london: prenzlauer
berg in the north/north east is hoxton/Islington;
Mitte is the West end/City; Unter den linden might
as well be piccadilly, while Kurfestendamm feels likes
a scrufer version of Knightsbridge, largely thanks
to the magnifcent KadeWe department store and its
sumptuous food department on the sixth foor.
as you might imagine, theyre big on the Wall in
berlin. In fact, the further in time we get away from
the ddr, so the more the city celebrates the fact there
was a big wall dividing the Coca Cola-drinking, levis-
wearing cool cats in the West, and the turnip-eaters in
the east. Within fve years therell be a musical about
the stasi or a pantomime based on erich honickers
favourite interrogation methods.
the city is, understandably, more reticent on those
troublesome nazi years, and has still failed to address
what happened here up to 1945. there is no faf-
about museum for the third reich like there is for
east germany, and the terror that was both inficted
on and by the people of this town 70 years ago has
largely been put in a locked cupboard somewhere in
the hope that no-one will ever fnd it. even the slightly
bewildering holocaust Memorial is used by insensitive
imbeciles as a place to run about with their kids in.
despite this gripe, berlin is a brilliant city a proper,
enormous metropolis with miles and miles of suburbs
and a mighty centre. Its not pretty, doesnt really ft
together and, like barcelona, is in danger of becoming
a bit too pleased with itself. but with a huge amount
of eating places, smoke-flled boozers and an iconic
transport system, it has everything Umbrella likes
about urban living. Imagine how good itll be when
its fnally completed.
M
Todays German capital hasnt
quite made up it mind as to what
it is yet, but, argues Anthony
Teasdale, its all the better for it
01 B Tor
The citys gate
separating Unter den
linden from tiergarten,
the Brandenburger Tor
is the very centre of the
reunifed berlin. built
in 1789, its modelled on
the propylaea in athens.
the Quadriga on the top
was added later in 1791.
02 Alex
Red square
named after russian
emperor alexander I
after his visit in 1805,
eric honicker made this
former cattle market the
centre of communist
east berlin. Its collection
of basildon-like brutalist
buildings bear this out.
03 U-Bahn
First class travel
the berlin underground
is perhaps the thing that
Umbrella loves most
about this charismatic
town. Whether its the
temple-like structure
at tauentzienstrasse or
the calm, non-stressed
atmosphere of the
predictably clean trains,
its up there with the
worlds best metros. the
network has nine lines,
173 stations and 147km of
track. When the city was
split, lines from the West
that ran through east
berlin would not stop in
the communist part of
the city, while eastern
lines were blocked at
the border. the U-bahn
now carries 1,400,000
passengers day.
04 U-gear
Souvenirs
oK, theres nothing to
compare with a crop-top
with the word angel on
the front, but we picked
up some great U-bahn-
themed stuf in berlin.
Were especially fond
of our top trumps-like
playing cards (far right).
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Covered: Paris, luxury, hotels J0 Iield trip
Lc |curi:c lo|c|, laris
very city has its Iair share oI decent hotels. And Paris has more
than most. We`re big Ians oI the ultrasmart Plaza Athenee
across the Seine Irom the Liel Tower and the more cosy ones
in and around the LeIt Bank at St Germain. But, best oI all, better, we`re
convinced, than anywhere else in the City oI Light, is Le Meurice.
Let`s get one thing straight. Le Meurice, located right by the Louvre and
Gardens is not Ior you and your mates on a trip to catch your team take on
PSG at the Park des Princes. For that, there are plenty oI decent Ibises and
Campaniles. No, this august institution, Iounded in I8I7, is Ior chaps who
want to show the special woman in their liIe (or, iI they`re that way inclined,
the man) a bit oI proper TLC. It`s everything that a hotel should be.
Le Meurice recommeds that you.
I) Go on a cycle ride around the Tuileries on one ot the hotel`s
very own bikes. Atter all the tood you`ll be eating, this may
well be a very good idea in the waistreduction department.
Don`t trust yourselt on a bike? Have a jog - you can always
have a sly rest on a bench under the trees.
2) Umbrella is always up tor a bit ot indulgence, so you can
have a Glaciers Moisturising Facial treatment at the hotel`s Spa
Valmont, which smoothes away hne lines and wrinkles. Don`t,
under any circumstances, suggest to your spouse that she has
any wrinkles. Perish the thought.
3) Dine in Le Dali restaurant, which ohers a less tormal
experience than the hotel`s main dining room. Look out tor
a chair with stilettos on its legs, a lamp with drawers and the
inevitable lobsterphone. Sadly, it`s not a mobile.
4) Enjoy a drink in Bar 228 where over 5O whiskies and
malts are on display. The bar ohers a hne selection ot cognac
and armagnac, with some ot the labels dating trom the
last century, including the Bas Armagnac Darrose I9OO.
Order six, see what happens when you drink them all.
5) Le Meurice is located minutes trom Place Vendme and
Rue SaintHonor with their abundance ot luxury stores and
designers. Take your lady tor macaroons in Laduree on Rue
SaintHonor and then have a look around Herms. You may
want to bring your credit card.
Lc Mcuricc is locatcJ at 228 ruc Jc Rivoli, 7500I Paris, Irancc.
Tcl: 0I 44 58 I0 I0. www.lemeurice.com
Eat and drink in luxury at Le Meurices
restaurant (left), Bar 228 (above) and
Le Dali, named after the artist who
spent much of his time here.
SOMEWHERE FOR THE WEEKEND
JI Covered: South America, travelling, snakes
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Thc lurc oj Bra:il has lon provcJ irrcsislihlc lo Wcslcrn
lourisls. Ils comhinalion oj Jarl, myslcrious junlcs anJ
cxolic, scnsual cilics promiscs much - hul as rcluclanl lravcllcr
Mull RcynolJs JiscovcrcJ - Jclivcrs lilllc. Hcrc hc lisls his lop
vc rcasons nol lo malc a Soulh Amcrican claway.
It`s not like in the
adverts
Mention the word
'Brazil` to your work
colleagues and their eyes
will light up. In their minds
they`re con|uring images oI
a magical, exotic land where
the sundrenched beaches are
bustling with Gisele lookalikes.
II you believed the hype you`d
think that a visit to Brazil would
be to visit a nonstop carnival
oI beautiIul young people,
writhing in a multicoloured
orgy oI amboyant outhts
and handsome Latin lovers.
You`d be wrong.
The sad truth is that most people`s impressions
oI Brazil are so inIormed by marketing men
Irom drinks companies that the country has
become a kind oI shorthand Ior everything that
the IricnJs generation consider to be exotic:
mystery, adventure, passion, sex, a cheap bottle
oI Bacardi Irom Costcutter. No one here is old,
ugly, poor - or even rcmotcly part oI a cruel,
regularly corrupt political system.
The Iurther this cultural stereotyping is
reinIorced, the Iurther the country is reduced to
an insulting caricature oI itselI - an image about
as accurate as one oI an Lngland populated
solely by Hugh Grant and some BeeIeaters.
Spending time in any third world country
is not a nonstop party, it`s a nonstop reality
check. People might be dancing in the streets,
but they`re dancing in the dirt and broken
tarmac - with no shoes on.
The endlessly repeated images oI buxom
ladies shaking their booties to the tropical
samba beat does nothing but reinIorce the
slightly patronising Western idea that even
though the poor savages might have no material
worth (like us) they are rich in spirit, passion
and rhythm. Nice.
So when you touch down in Rio De }aniero, be
sure to have your passport ready Ior the lady on
the checkin desk - |ust don`t expect her to be
wearing a giant Ieather headdress.
You`ll get ill
And I`m not talking about a snime. II
your constitution is anything like mine
You`ll inevitably tall out

with your girltriend
Needless to say, iI you Jo have a
girlIriend, she`ll want to come travelling
with you. This is to be expected because
iI anyone was to be honest about the
rcal reason they`re putting up with three
months oI sleeping on buses, deep Iried
beetles, grimy youth hostels, trench Ioot,
pickpockets, drug dealers and scammers,
it`s because oI the vague possibility oI a
sexual encounter.
Spending every night in a new town or
city or bus shelter, seeking out a bar (erm,
that`s what I did anyway) means that you`ll
meet a lot oI people. A lot oI them will be
your Iellow travellers and most oI them
will be middle class - and thereIore up jor
it. Seriously, there must be a special law
that says that when you`ve hnished your
media studies degree you havc to spend
six months travelling with a piece oI string
braided into your hair, a newIound interest
in Buddhism and an obligation to sleep with
several anonymous sexual partners. Then
you can go home to Surrey and work at
daddy`s law hrm.
So, in an attempt to stop you Irom trying
to hook up with the Abigails and }emimas
to help them Iulhll that obligation, your
girlIriend will insist on accompanying you.
But she won`t en|oy it: The Iood will be too
spicy, the climate will be too sticky, the men
will be too leery. Her hair will go Irizzy and
there`ll be nowhere to plug her 'GHDs` in.
She`ll hate it, basically and it`ll all be your
Iault. And she won`t let you Iorget it. Lver.
You`ll get eaten alive
Ants the size oI cockroaches,
cockroaches the size oI rats, rats
the size oI crocodiles, crocodiles the size oI,
well, you get the idea. II the most terriIying
oI nature`s beasts you`ve encountered up till
now is a troublesome wasp at a picnic, then
the Amazon rainIorest is not Ior you. Within
the space oI a week I had been variously
bitten by a snake, Iound a scorpion in my
bag, got my legs}testicles bitten to pieces
by ants (aIter accidentally stepping on an
anthill) and had a tarantula placed on my
head by our 'hilarious` local guide as a
practical |oke. You don`t get that at Butlin`s.
You`ll be a clich
Lveryone goes to South America.
Or, Iailing that, Thailand. But
seriously, why does noone ever go
travelling to Norway? It`s closer, cleaner
anJ Iriendlier - plus there`s not a single
venomous snake in sight.
and the Iurthest south your adventures
usually take you is Brighton, then
expect a Iullblown boxer shorts
ruining nightmare.
The trouble with having
a terminally upset
stomach in a Ioreign
city (Belem, at the
mouth oI the river
Amazon, in my case)
is that you dare not
move Iurther than 50
yards Irom your hotel with
its clean, ushable toilets. Not that
you can ush toilet roll in Brazil oI course
you are expected to place that in a tiny bin
next to the loo - because iI you do the terrible
water pressure and archaic plumbing results in
an overowing ood oI tissue, water and last
night`s dinner. And then you have to run away
and hide Irom the cleaners and pretend that you
weren`t responsible. But they know. They know.
Lventually, due to a combination oI boredom,
an angry girlIriend and a sense that every
minute oI this trip is costing you money,
you will venture more than 50 yards Irom
your hotel. Big mistake. This will result in an
embarrassing exchange in a restaurant with
you desperately attempting to locate the loo
by doing a 'mime` oI diarrhoea to the manager
(who speaks no Lnglish) while he shrugs his
shoulders and looks rather conIused.
Failing that, you might choose to take a quiet,
non bowelupsetting walk down by the river
(20 miles or so wide at this point, with a proper
beach and everything) and end up having a
blazing row with your angry girlIriend - "your
stomach is ruining our holiday - which ends
with her storming o while you writhe on the
sand doubled over in pain. Then you`ll start
to panic, thinking "I have to go.. oh God..
where do I go? What do I do? and crawl
into the shallows oI the river Amazon with
the crocodiles and the electric eels and the
piranhas and those weird little hsh that swim up
your willy (or so they claim in IHM) to relieve
yourselI. Then, while you`re wallowing in pain
and muddy water and anxiety and exasperation
- not to mention your own excrement - a little
green snake will swim up to you and bite you
on the chest. Seriously, this actually happened
to me. It was a low.
livc rcasons no| |o o |o lra.i|

Iield trip
32 Field trip
Covered: Cycling
here are few better-looking pastimes
than cycling. Not only are the bikes
often wonders of engineering and
aerodynamic technology, but some of the racing
wear particularly the retro-looking knitted tops
easily fts into a stylish mans wardrobe.
Its for these aesthetic factors that were rather
excited about the Rapha Cycling Club, a pop-up
(ie temporary) shop and exhibition space thats
opened for the summer in Clerkenwell, London.
Rapha, which, to Umbrellas eyes, makes the most
stylish two-wheel wear and accessories, has taken
a space in one of the capitals most cycle-friendly
zones and turned it over to all things bike. That
means exhibitions, race screenings, a cofee shop
and lots of nice Rapha gear to spend your cash on.
Halfords this is not.
Simon Mottram from Rapha: Long frustrated at
having nowhere to watch racing or share the love of
the sport with others, we conceived the Rapha Cycle
Club as the place we would most like to hang out in
the summer. Were looking forward to meeting like-
minded fans, watching the racing and consuming
cycling culture, surrounded by beautiful things.
Certainly worth going through a red light for, then.
The Rapha Cycle Club, 146-148 Clerkenwell Road,
London, EC1. The space is open until July 31.
More info: www.rapha.cc
T
Designer cycling manufacturer
Rapha sets up in central London
Raphalution
constitutes too far, but I think that any bicycle commute that takes
more than an hour each way is pushing it a bit. Twenty minutes to
half an hour is ideal, I reckon. Less than 20 minutes, and youll spend
almost as long each end locking and unlocking it; more than 30 and you
really will need a shower.
U: Were rather fond of our clobber here at Umbrella. How does
a chap about town keep his whistle looking smart?
HP: The smartest bike commuters I know do not transport their suits
by bike, but keep them in the ofce to slip into on arrival. Do this.
U: And fnally, how would you carry a laptop?
HP: Assuming your laptop isnt from the dark ages and is relatively
light, a messenger-style shoulder bag is probably your best bet. For
some extra protection, you can wrap the computer in a padded sleeve,
probably made out of a wetsuity sort of material, which will also help
keep it nice and dry.
Bicycle by Helen Pidd, is published by Penguin, priced 14.99
mbrella: Do new riders need a cool bike?
Helen Pidd: No, Theres no such thing as
the right bike. If you have a roadworthy
bicycle, you can cycle to work on it. But if you want
to buy a commuter bike, look for one with a more
upright riding position and a way of transporting
luggage (a rack or basket or handlebars capable of
carrying a bag). Mudguards and perhaps a chain
guard will keep your clothes clean.
U: Some people (us) are terrifed of coming of.
Isnt cycling really dangerous?
HP: Many novice bike commuters make the mistake
of taking the same route on their bicycle as they
would in their car or on public transport. If you
are thinking of starting to cycle to work, ask your
colleagues for tips on the quietest routes in.
I sometimes plot non-scary commutes for friends
using the very handy Gmaps Pedometer (www.
gmap-pedometer.com). Also try www.cyclestreets.
net and www.bikely.com. If cycling down a big
road is unavoidable, make sure that youre visible,
and dont cycle in the gutter. Though it sounds
paradoxical, the closer you are to the kerb, the
more likely cars are to pass you at scary proximity.
U: What about getting to work all sweaty?
No-one wants to stink out the ofce
HP: If you havent got a shower at work, carry baby
wipes! With the baby-wipe option, do shower before
you leave the house in the morning. That way,
any sweat you do produce while pedalling will be
fresh and untainted by the bacteria that makes you
smell like a meat pie. And baby wipes are great for
keeping your bike clean if you cant be bothered to
wash it properly.
U: Should you cycle to the ofce in your
work clothes?
HP: If you want to cycle in your work outft, you can
minimise the chances of looking a complete state by
choosing a bike that goes out of its way to keep you
clean. Upright, Dutch-style bicycles are generally
the best for this.
U: And if it rains?
HP: Either don some quality rain gear, or leave the
bike at home. The website isitgoingtoraintomorrow.
com is very useful.
U: How long is the ideal cycle commute?
HP: Everybody has their own idea about what
Cycling to work
Author of Bicycle, Helen Pidd answers our questions on
ditching the car or bus in favour of a bike for the daily commute
question answer
U
Gear and gears:
Get the Eddie
Merckx look and a
coffee at Rapha
34 Field trip
Covered: Advertising, design, travel
hen youre stuck in the queue at
Liverpool John Lennon or London
Heathrow, stranded between La
famille Matching Shellsuits and the worlds
rudest Blackberry user (Im getting on this
plane whether you like it or not), its easy to
forget that, until recently, travel was a byword
for glamour and luxury.
A new book, 20th Century Travel: 100
Years of Globetrotting Ads, catalogues how
companies encouraged ordinary people to
take to the seas and skies with beautifully
composed ads, in which every man looks like
Cary Grant and every woman is a dead ringer
for Natalie Wood. As the price of air travel
came down from the 1960s onwards, so more
people could enjoy this experience, but in
doing so, made circling the world at 35,000
feet seem as ordinary as getting the bus.
Travel is now no longer a preserve of the
privileged elite (and a good thing too), but
these adverts show just how the Don Drapers
of Madison Avenue created an ideal we could
all aspire to. And what an ideal it was.
W
20th Century Travel: 100 Years
of Globetrotting Ads is published
by Taschen, priced 27.99.
www.taschen.com
How the globetrotting dream
was sold to a receptive public
The skys
The limiT
36 Field trip
Covered: Metros, London, trains
Going Overground
heres nothing that gets Umbrellas
heart beating quicker than an
elevated urban railway. Were
especially fond of the U2 line on Berlins
U-Bahn, which rises above the heads of the
trendies on Schnhauser Allee, providing
shelter from the driving Prussian rain and an
ideal place from which to sell currywrst. In
London, both the District and Hammersmith
& City lines ferry their passengers above head
height, while the viaducts between London
Bridge, Waterloo and Lewisham thread
mainline trains between modern ofce
buildings and over gloomy Victorian arches.
Thats one of the reasons were so blown
away by the new and improved East London
line, which will link the far reaches of
south east London to Hackney in the north.
The highlight of the extended line, which
cost 1bn to transform, is the area around
the new Shoreditch High Street station,
where it curves delightfully over one of the
capitals great roads, thanks to a beautifully
engineered new bridge. And at 12 (fully air
conditioned) trains per hour, normal people
from places like Croydon will be able to pay
fve quid for a bottle of beer in a deliberately
scrufy pub full of trendies whenever the
need takes them. Way to go, London!
The East London line is just the frst part
of the new Overground network, which
will provide an orbital railway around the
whole of the capital by 2012. And with 14
refurbished stations on the East London
line alone, Transport for London is
continuing the trend of investing in
architecture that it began with the beautiful
Jubilee line extension. All its got to do now is
demolish Highbury and Islingtons super-
ordinary ticket shed and well be sorted.
More info: www.tf.gov.uk
T
Londons new metro is the defnition of upwardly mobile
Shore thing
Shoreditch High Street station
is encased in a sleeve to stop
the rubble from a nearby
building projects getting
on the track.
Imperial Wharf
Transport for London, London Overground, October 2009.
Extension due to open in 2012
Connection with Tramlink
Connection with National Rail
Interchange stations
Step-free access from the platform to the street
London Overground geographic map 2012
MAYOR OF LONDON Transport for London
A new East London train
The elegant bridge at
Shoreditch High Street
Curved rails take the
train through the city
Waiting for passengers
at Shoreditch
01
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38 Field trip
Covered: Maps, art, propaganda
Serio-Comic War Map for
The Year 1877
Tea Revives The World, 1940
The Island, 2008
Map of England, Wales and
Ireland, London, 1603-04
Map of Nowhere, 2008
Map of England, Wales
and Ireland, London,
1603-04 (Detail)
01
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05
06
Mapping the past
n terms of what it means to be a man, a
love of maps is right up there with being
able build your own furniture and knowing
all the names of the England squad for the 1982
World Cup. Has your wife or girlfriend ever scanned
Google Maps, zooming in on an obscure oriental
city, just because shes always wanted to know what
Ulan Bator looks like from the air? Have you? This is
what makes us what we are.
Its this fascination with looking at the world
and how its presented that forms the backbone
of the Magnifcent Maps exhibition at the British
Library in London. Home to more than 4.5 million
maps probably about the same number as your
dads got in the garage the Librarys exhibition has
room for just 100, from an 1800-year-old Ordnance
Survey-like plan of ancient Rome to The Island, an
incredibly idiosyncratic view of modern London
by the artist Stephen Walter.
Since our ancestors frst scratched an approximation
of where they lived onto a nearby rock, man has
used maps, not just as valuable tools of navigation,
but for propaganda and proof-of-ownership
purposes too. From Castilian cartographers putting
the Spanish coat of arms on large, as-yet-unexplored
tracts of South America to the fantastical here-be-
dragons monsters of medieval maps, what was,
and was not, known, was displayed as fact.
Beautifully crafted, hugely ornate maps were
given to kings and political leaders, who would then
display these awe-inspiring works on the walls of
their palaces as a way of impressing on the visitor
just how important they were. Maps meant power.
The bigger the map, the scarier the monarch was.
As Peter Barber, the exhibitions curator, says:
Most of the message is in the decoration rather
than the geographical outline. A map doesnt have to
be accurate or up to date, as long as it conveys
a sufcient message of splendour and power.
People like to know where they are on earth. All
of these maps are trying to associate the viewer with
the viewpoint of the person who commissioned it:
I
The Magnifcent Maps exhibition at the British library charts the
history of cartography and comes to some surprising conclusions
If you look closely at my map, youll
see you have a place in it, you can
inscribe yourself into my world.
Straddling the boundary between
science and art, the greatest maps are
timeless representations of the world,
not just how it was, but how those
in charge wanted it to be. And thats
why, with its insights into how power
works, this exhibition provides more
than just a geography lesson.
Magnifcent Maps: Power, Propaganda
and Art is on at the British Library until
September 19. www.bl.uk
01
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40 Iield trip
02 Figures made real
Beyond the siege
As much a work oI art as it is a piece oI
cartography, the map details the ma|or events
over the I0 months oI the siege. This detail,
however, shows two soldiers indulging in
a game oI dice inbetween hostilities.
03 Power and propaganda
The map as a symbol ol triumph
The hnal segment shows the train oI the InIanta
oI Spain, Isabella Clara Lugenia, on her way
into the town aIter it had been conuered. The
CommanderinChieI oI the Spanish Iorces,
Spinola, is seen at the back oI the procession.
0I Battleready
Putting himsell in the picture
The map, made in I626, details the siege oI the
Dutch town during the 30 Years War between
Spain and the Netherlands. This image shows
artist }acques Callot working on his own map.
Thc Sicgc oj BrcJa
03
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Covered: Maps, art, propaganda
4I Stories
42: Surviving the Poll Tax riot

47: Woodstock at Widnes
4S: Cazza's beautilul game
50: Chilling in Ibiza }ournalism jrom lhc jronl linc oj lhc moJcrn worlJ
199
THE
YEAR THAT
CHANGED
EVERYTHING
The Poll Tax riot. Italia 90. Slim-t trousers.
Why a period of 12 months 20 years ago
denes what we are to this day.
The Poll Tax riot. Italia 90. Slim-t trousers.
Why a period of 12 months 20 years ago
denes what we are to this day.
42 Stories
Covered: Politics, riots, London
m in the Museum of London with my two young sons
staring at supersized photographs of the Poll Tax riot.
Frozen moments of terror in black and white. Screaming
rioters, stick-wielding cops, wild-eyed horses, burning cars
Was this a long time ago, Daddy? asks my eight-year-old.
It was when I was younger, I tell him.
Was it a war, Daddy?
It felt like it, I mumble, trying to fnd myself in the pictures.
Were you there, Daddy?
I was. Nineteen years old, battering on the door of adulthood, open
to anything, up for anything, trying to make sense of the world
around me. Im in my frst year of higher education, away from
home for the frst time and rave culture is in full swing. Im being
illuminated by books, people, music, drugs, ideas and though
I dont know much, I know that prime minister Margaret Thatcher,
with her Poll Tax, has picked a fght with people like me. I also
know that Ive never walked away from a fght in my life.
It was such a sunny Saturday in London. Bright sunshine,
cloudless blue skies. More like the frst day of June than the last
day of March. I travelled up to the centre of town from my mum
and dads house in south London with a mate Id been at school
with. His name is Neil and he lives in America now. Thats all you
need to know about Neil because shortly after we bowled of the
train at Charing Cross station I lost him to the crowd. Remember,
only yuppies had mobiles back then and with what turned out to
be over 200,000 demonstrators on the streets that day, its not that
surprising I didnt see him again until he sent me a friend request
on Facebook about a month ago.
I may have been on my jack but it didnt feel like it. At least, not at
frst. The demonstration which, if memory serves, gushed down
Whitehall towards Parliament Square, before snaking back on itself
and pouring into Trafalgar Square was like a big party. It had the
favour of a rave, and not just because there were plenty of crusties
and pillheads with whistles, but because it was a truly democratic
protest. Sweet old couples and mums with kids marched alongside
seasoned SWPers and tattooed anarchists. Everyone was welcome
and as I walked though the middle of this mighty river of people,
making my way to the front of the demonstration, I chatted to
anyone whod return my smile, and share a quick joke or toke.
The front line of the demonstration was outside the South African
Embassy in Trafalgar Square. A provocative place for the Old Bill to
place their troops, on refection. In 1990, South Africa was still in
the grip of Apartheid and although Mandela had just been released
it would be another four years before their ludicrous racist system
fnally got the boot. To many in the crowd, that building symbolised
inequality, unfairness and a spiteful lack of justice the very things
that had brought so many of us out onto the streets that day. Its
not surprising then that it was the precise spot where the violence
kicked of. I know, because I was there when it happened, just three
rows back from the boys in blue when the spark hit the petrol.
Now historians might tell it diferently but my version goes
something like this. As more and more protestors fowed into
Trafalgar Square they started to push on the backs of those in front
of them, who then pushed on the backs of those in front of them.
These waves of pressure went on and on until I felt somebody
pushing on my back, pushing me onto the row in front of me.
Moments later the front row were stumbling forward, directly onto
the batons and riot shields.
Police a generation ago were diferent and Britain a far more
brutal place than today. When I shufe through the memories of
my childhood, Im shocked at the number of violent images
I regurgitate street violence, football violence, industrial violence,
inner-city riots, terrorism the constant din of it pervaded my
formative years and the men who policed the London streets of my
youth were hardened veterans of it all. Trained by the government
of the day to smash back the erupting chaos, these were hard men
forged by hard times Thatchers thugs, we called them.
When the crowd began pushing against the police line that day,
the Old Bills response was as swift, as brutal and as ugly as it had
been when theyd charged down the miners at Orgreave in 84,
hammered rioters in Brixton in 81 and 85, or battered students on
Westminster Bridge in 88. In an instant, it went from a bit of push
and shove to total war.
It now occurs to me that in that moment there was a crack, a
fssure in space and time irrevocably splitting me from the insulated
innocence of my adolescence, plunging me into the world as
I understand it today. A world where some men are monsters
slavering behind civilised masks.
The police came at us in a mechanical fury, batons whirling.
A smack on the head was all the persuasion I needed to back the
f*ck up as the cops were ordering, but where could I go? There
were 200,000 people pressed up behind me. Still the police kept
coming, slashing and whacking like knights on medieval battlefeld.
As we tried to scatter I saw one woman go down, I saw her blonde
hair and white T-shirt, I saw her disappear down into the feet of
the crowd and as she fell, the policeman kept hitting her. Again and
again and again. I wanted to help but the surge of the crowd taking
a collective leap backwards was too powerful.
By now I had no control over my movements. I was bobbing along
in a sea of people, arms pressed to my sides, being pushed forward
and back. It was like it used to be at football before they made you
sit for a game. Except this wasnt fun-dangerous, this was scary-
dangerous and I was terrifed.
The South African embassy had scafolding up outside it and
there was a greeny-brown tarpaulin stretched over sections of the
building. I remember this mundane detail because some lunatic set
fre to it. So along with hundreds of baton-wielding riot police, we
now had to deal with burning swatches of tarp raining down
I
RemembeRIng
the Poll tax
RIot
Nick Soldinger was just 19 when he got caught up in the
most violent riot central London has ever witnessed.
Here he recalls what it was like to be in the eye of the storm
44 Stories
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on our heads. I remember looking up, to try to protect myselI
Irom the aming clumps and gasping because the sky was thick
with ying sticks. The placards the SWP and other political
organisations had handed out came complete with a metrelong
piece oI plywood. UseIul Ior waving your protest placard about,
or in this case, hurling at the police. The air was alive with them.
It`s how the arrows must have looked like at Agincourt.
A hre engine tried to nudge its
way through the crowd to deal
with the ames but some rioters
started throwing bricks and
sticks at it, egged on by some
bespectacled wanker Irom the
SWP. I could see the terrihed
hremen inside the cab obviously
wondering why the hatred
Ior Thatcher and her Poll Tax
was being turned upon them,
ordinary, working men. People
began rocking the hre engine,
trying to turn it over. The men inside were petrihed.
I shouted Ior the people to stop, but they didn`t listen or didn`t hear
me. Lventually the police, having seen what was about to happen,
rushed in with sticks and boots.
Somehow, I managed to drag myselI out oI the melee and make
Ior a more peaceIul part oI the square where another line oI police
were watching the battle nervously. I asked one oI the coppers iI
I could go through their lines. I was scared, I explained, and wanted
to go home. The copper reIused. The area was being contained,
he explained. When I began remonstrating, he told me to piss o
beIore he nicked me.
Thinking that maybe I`d have more luck on the other side oI
the square, I wrestled my way past the National Gallery and up
Whitcomb Street. This too was blocked o by police who wouldn`t
let me pass. Bizarrely though, there was a pub, The Hand and
Racquet, that in the middle oI all that chaos had its doors open
and was taking advantage oI the additional trade. I wandered
in, openmouthed and saw protestors, some with in|uries, some
with the sticks Irom their placards rested up against the tables,
sucking on cold lagers and laughing over the top oI the screaming,
the shouting, the sirens and sounds oI shattering glass outside. It
was one oI those surreal things that oIten seem to happen when
the world around you has gone
completely insane.
I spent most oI that aIternoon
sitting at Nelson`s Ieet on top oI
a lion, watching the roaring
battle. I watched the cops
cavalrycharge groups oI
protestors, people disappearing
under the hooves, I watched
lunatics |ump policemen and
smash them to the ground,
I watched as cars were torched,
windows smashed, shops looted as
the heart oI my beautiIul city was smashed and burnt and spattered
with blood. It went on like this Ior hours and hours, searing its
horror into my memory Ior ever.
As night closed in, I Iound a way out oI the square. I ran to
Charing Cross station, |umped on the hrst train back to mum and
dad`s, to sleep in the same room I`d dreamt my dreams in as a little
boy and cried until the morning light announced a new day.
"Are you OK, Daddy? my son wants to know. The black and white
photos in the museum have turned my eyes red.
"Come on, kids, I say. "Lets go home.
Within thc ycar Margarct Thatchcr haJ rcsigncJ anJ hcr Poll
Tax lcgislation was in tattcrs, latcr rcplaccJ hy thc Council Tax.
Nick SolJingcr wcnt on to jnish his cJucation anJ now works
jor a wcll known mcn's magazinc
'lLNA1lCS }LMllD
lOllClMlN AND
SMASHlD 1HlM 1O
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47 Stories Covered: Madchester
THE CLOTHES
It the two years previously had been dominated by acid house,
then by the early part ot I99O, the spectre ot mod was rearing its
goodlooking head over the menswear horizon. While the 'teds`
went to Spike Island in ares, Inspiral Carpets Tshirts and
Kickers, the cooler kids were already donning the tollowing.
Old skool everything
Tracksuits that had once been the preserve oI kids whose mums
wouldn`t (or couldn`t) buy them Fila or Lacoste were suddenly 'in`.
Twostripe |obs Iavoured by PL teachers and old Iashioned Adidas
pumps were sold at vast prohts by Iarsighted salesmen in Ameck`s
Palace and Kensington Market. Footwear too went Irom the
ridiculous (massive Travel Fox, Troop and British Knights trainers)
to the sublime (vintage Gazelle and Puma States). The Iact this
movement completely bypassed the likes oI Adidas and Puma led to
both oI these clothing giants setting up heritage subsections so they
could milk our seemingly endless obsession with German sports
shoes. Shop at Size with any regularity? Here`s why.
Flattronted trousers
What do you wear on your legs when you`re going to a posh do?
A pair oI atIronted strides? They appeared as part oI I990`s (sigh)
'neomod` thing and we`ve been wearing them ever since. Pleats
are ncvcr coming back.
White jeans
So sexy! So slimming! So utterly impractical!
Football chic
With Iorwardthinking Iootball Ians in positions oI inuence in
music, media and Iashion, so the game`s iconic hgures started to
appear on clothing - spurred on by the World Cup tournament in
Italy. Most inuential was the 'No All Violenza` tee produced by
London`s Burro, which was worn by the likes oI The Farm and the
Happy Mondays. Duer oI St George`s striped Iootball tops and
the Bill Shankly Tshirts produced by Liverpool group Thirty Five
Summers also carried the soccer message into the mainstream.
Hair
From everyone walking about with a long, curly bob - always
massive at clubs up north - to the 'Soho` or 'French` crop, the
choice oI smarter clubbers Irom Glasgow to Greenwich. Now thc
deIault haircut oI the British male population. Apart Irom dreadIul
'parrotheads` in Cheshire}Lssex, obviously.
Vc rcscrvc thc right to hc complctcly wrong ahout this
199 0
DIGEST
Why, cullurally al lcasl, lhc ycar slill Jcncs us
SPIKE ISLAND
AND GLASTONBURY
Festivals are now so establishment that the BBC spends
millions ot pounds sending its wildly overenthusiastic/wryly
unimpressed presenters out to cover anything that involves
bales ot hay, unchallenging rock music and attentionseeking
blonde women sitting on people`s shoulders.
All this comes Irom two I990 events: The Stone Roses at Spike
Island and the Happy Mondays` appearance at Glastonbury.
For the - ahem - 'baggy generation`, Spike Island, a nature reserve
in Widnes, was their Woodstock. The chance to see the hottest
group in the country - though, in truth the torpor that would dehne
their later period had already set in - was something thousands
oI people simply haJ to be at. Attending this event, like going to
raves, was partly seen through the prism oI knowing that Iuture
generations would be making telly programmes around it. The Iact
that the day was ultimately a disappointment mattered little. II you
went, you were thcrc. Lven iI being there involved listening to Ian
Brown redehne the word 'singer` (but not in a good way) and
a convoluted |ourney home Irom Widnes.
Glastonbury I990, though seen as Iar less epochal, was actually
more inuential, building as it did on the barriers rave had broken
down and getting working class kids to go to the sort oI events
they would have sneered at a couple oI years previously. The
Mondays appeared on the Iront oI the NML with a miniStonehenge
a la Spinal Tap at their Ieet, heralding a new Iestival spirit that
was moving away Irom the standard indie}rock Iare to something
groovier. Lvery Iestival that`s come since, whether it`s Bestival or
Creamhelds, owes its existence to this one weekend. II it wasn`t
Ior Shaun and the lads, there`d be no Ldith Bowman. Oh.
Primal Scream Loaded
This. More than anything.
A Man Called Adam Barefoot
in The Head
Timeless, sun-soaked Ibizan anthem
Lefteld Not Forgotten
Neil Barnes and Paul Daley invent
progressive house

LFO LFO
Futuristic, bass-heavy techno
St Etienne Only Love Can
BreakYour Heart Immense,
dub-meets-indie cover version
Rhythmatic Take Me Back
The bleepiest bleep techno tune
The Farm Stepping Stone
Scouse indie goes house
Happy Mondays Bobs Yer Uncle
Shufing Balearic from Little Hulton
New Fast Automatic Daffodils Big
Abstract, percussive dance music
with a little touch of out-there indie
|990 Top Ninc
48 Stories
Covered: Football, World Cup
was to be his last tournament before he crossed the North Sea to take
over at PSV Eindhoven. The island itself prepared itself for the English
invasion with stories running in both the Italian and English media
about what the national teams supporters would get up to. As far as
football journalists were concerned the prospect for an early return was
certain. But they hadnt counted on two things: the rise of Paul John
Gascoigne and a seismic shift in British society.
Two years before Italia 90, the acid house/rave scene kick-started the
most exciting music movement since punk rock. Bands like The Stone
Roses, The Charlatans, Happy Mondays and The Farm became popular
groups who werent afraid to profess their loyalty to football. At the same
time, fanzines like When Saturday Comes gained prominence, detailing
all the quirky, observational stu that football fans loved to talk about.
Quotes from Albert Camus and Bill Shankly started appearing on T-shirts
with even style magazine The Face running a piece about the iconic No
Alla Violenza tees worn by London and Manchesters hippest young
things. The iconography of football, so common today, began here.
And to cap it all, New Order went and recorded World In Motion, a
brilliant melange of sun-soaked house music, British pop and terrace
cheekiness. It zoomed into the charts at number one.
Peter Hooton, singer with The Farm, explains its appeal.
The track was so good even if it hadnt been a football
record it would have been played everywhere. The fact that
John Barnes did the rap just made it even better. Listening to it
even now just makes me feel happy.
England, as is often the way, started the tournament o
slowly. Placed in a group alongside Holland, Egypt and Ireland,
they ground out two less-than-inspiring draws against the Dutch
and Irish, meaning that to qualify theyd
have to beat the Egyptians in their
nal game in Cagliari, the Sardinian
capital. Happily, a oated free kick
from Paul Gascoigne landed on the
head of Mark Wright, who powered
the ball into the net for a 1-0 victory.
It wasnt pretty and in truth,
apart from the Dutch game when
Robson had experimented with a
3-5-2 formation, England had been
ordinary. But it didnt matter they
were o to Bologna to play Belgium.
Bologna is Italys Oxford, boasting the worlds oldest university and a
beguiling architectural mix of the medieval and renaissance. It is certain
that this ne old town had never seen anything like Paul Gascoigne when
he stepped onto the turf for the game between England and Belgium.
Theyre not big on hyperactive Geordies in the universities of northern
Italy (well not then anyway), but Gazzas beautifully weighted free kick
that David Platt managed to turn in on the volley with just 32 seconds of
extra time left was pure poetry.
In an absorbing, tense match, the goal was the only dierence between
two teams. At the end of game, Terry Butcher and Chris Waddle went
over to the England fans and did a daft dance as the supporters sang,
Lets all have a disco, lets all have disco And at home, people not
just football fans were starting to get excited, inspired by the team, by
Gascoigne and even the Nessun Dorma theme used by the BBC in their
World Cup coverage. Cameroon, the Indomitable Lions were up next.
For those outside of England, the real hero of Italia 90 was Roger Milla,
Cameroons veteran 38-year-old striker whod taken the tournament
by storm with his urry of goals and dance-around-the corner ag
celebration. In the July 1 quarter-nal in Naples, the African side came
very close to putting England out in fact, with eight minutes to go
Cameroon were actually 2-1 up. Thankfully, their clumsy defending came
to Englands rescue, when they gave away a penalty with eight minutes
left Gary Lineker slotting the ball home. In extra time, a precision pass
from Gascoigne set up Lineker for a run on goal but he was scythed down
in the box. Lineker did the business again from the spot and England
were 3-2 winners. England fan, Phil Sherwin was there.
The Cameroon game was very nerve-wracking. I couldnt believe it
when we nally won thanks to Linekerss penalties. This result meant
a bit more to me because I was due to y home the next day to go back
to work, but with a semi-nal against Germany looming that wasnt an
option. I went to Turin and found a hotel.
Back home, the press had forgotten the pre-World Cup doom and were
now in full-on, ag-on-front-page patriotism mode. At the centre of this
mania was Paul Gascoigne, as England player Chris Waddle remembers.
Paul had no fear, he played like he was on the park. He just enjoyed
himself, he was a young lad with no pressure on him. He didnt care
about reputations and thought, Im going to enjoy myself .
Naples was steamy and hot that July 4 evening when Germany faced
England in the semi-nal. England fans, so long derided and maltreated,
outnumbered and out-sang the Germans as the teams prepared to kick
o. Inspired by their supporters and with belief oozing from every pore,
Gascoigne, Beardsley and Lineker set about their opponents, mixing
passion with skill and imagination. For the rst half, the Germans
were rattled. Then on 59 minutes they got a free kick on the edge
of the box. It cannoned o Paul Parker in such a way that it
span into the night sky and back into the top of Shiltons
goal. Never has a goal felt more like being kicked in
the stomach. But the England team, this England
team didnt panic, they carried on with their pressing,
precise football and with ten minutes to go, a cross from
Paul Parker landed on the thigh of Gary Lineker, who took the ball
past two defenders and swept it into the net. One-all.
Extra-time both England and Germany came agonisingly close
to scoring, but the real story was Gascoigne. The worlds second best
player was booked for an innocuous
challenge that meant if England won
the semi, he would miss the nal
through the accumulation of his
second yellow card in the tournament.
The tears of course, came. How could
they not? To Gascoigne, the World
Cup nal was where he was destined
to have that taken away from him
nearly destroyed him. But it didnt.
Because after the initial shock, after
Linekers Have a word, Gazza came
back, ghting for his team. And yet, the
deadlock in this magnicent match could not be broken.
And so to penalties. And we all know what happened there. We know
the heartbreak, the disbelief and the sight of countless mulleted Germans
in their terrible kit jumping on top of each other with unrestrained joy
as the Neapolitan ball boys tried in vain to locate the football from Chris
Waddles penalty. It was over, the daft dream that people had only just
started to believe in was nished. Today, Waddle is philosophical.
Our defeat wasnt unjust, it was unlucky. We hit the bar and post, they
hit the post and missed chances. Its like any competition, you need luck.
When we had our chances they didnt go in. Ask the Germans or anyone
else, theyd tell you England were the best team in the tournament.
But later, out of this wrenching defeat came rejuvenation. The defeat
was put into perspective as the England team came back heroes and
Paul Gascoigne was put on a pedestal he could never come down from.
Paul Simpson, author of Gascoigne sums up his contribution:
You look at every English midelder since the war and only him and
Bobby Charlton have managed to perform at that level. After that, the
tears gave us a classic image to sum up the experience.
And football itself ? It changed forever. Dont believe it? Read this quote
from an England fan in Italy taken from Pete Davies excellent account of
England at the 1990 World Cup, All Played Out.
I went for a beer last night (during the Czech-Italian game) and all
these birds walk in and theyve got their faces painted red, white and
green you cant imagine the girls back home sitting watching in the pub
with the St George cross on their faces, can you?
You can now.
ondon, June 2010. Wherever you looked there were St Georges
ags. Flying from cabs, draped over balconies, stuck to the walls
of seemingly every pub in town. Talk was of nothing but the
World Cup and how England were going to do in it. Plans were hatched
for afternoons o to watch games, while barbecues got organised around
possible xtures in the second phase. The new England away kit was on
the backs of countless individuals, from pop stars to new born babies not
old enough to understand what football is. No matter, because more than
the election and certainly more than the forthcoming 2012 Olympics
how England perform in the worlds biggest sporting event matters for
a vast swathe of the population of this country. How it could not be so?
But turn the clock back 20 years and the mood before the Italia 90
tournament was very dierent. The national side was routinely vilied
by the media for its unimpressive record, while every paper ran stories
of the inevitability of large scale aggro involving England supporters.
The very publications that the fans read themselves (The Sun, The Star)
gleefully anticipated their violent end at the hands (and batons) of the
ruthless Italian police, the Carabinieri. A fate, their blustering editorials
assured readers, that they would most certainly deserve.
Bobby Robson had been in the England managers job eight years when
his team boarded the plane to Sardinia for their group matches in June,
1990. Unloved and constantly criticised by a hostile English press, this
L
How Italia 90 gave birth to modern football
FORZA GAZZA!
PAUL GASCOIGNE
HAD NO FEAR, HE
PLAYED LIKE HE WAS
ON THE PARK
50 Stories
Covered: Ibiza, club culture
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990. I was living in Clerkenwell, London EC1 and working
at Channel 4. In those days C4 had a budget especially ring
fenced for youth programming, and I was number two
in a department of three people who decided how to spend it. It
was great. We commissioned programmes like Network 7, The Tube,
Soul Train, The Chart Show and spent the rest of the time going
to clubs and fending o slobbering charlatans telling us about The
Next Big Thing. But I was 28 and already feeling too old for such
a whippersnappers job. So I left Channel 4, set up a company,
Kinesis Films, with an old pal Paul Oremland, and set about
trying to make and sell TV programmes to the only two channels
interested in youth culture BBC2 and C4.
Around the same time, myself and (Madness frontman) Suggs
started working with the Liverpool-based indie band The Farm.
There was an element of frustration from The Farm that, although
theyd cultivated a loyal, predominantly male following right from
their conception in the early 80s, the music press and record
industry had dismissed them as a football band, largely on the
basis of this boisterous fan core. But in 1990 football became
fashionable, and bands like James, Inspiral Carpets and, especially,
the Happy Mondays tapped into that same laddish fan base
The Farm had come to think of as their own. Baggy was born
and The Farm found themselves isolated; excluded from their own
party and, to all intents and purposes, irrelevant. While the nation
was going potty for Madchesters
dislocated groove, The Farm
were the cod-reggae band
with the brass section whod
supported The Housemartins on
their last tour. The group needed
a complete remix, and the rst
step for me and Suggs was to
get them in the studio with a
credible DJ/Producer.
EC1 still hadnt been trendied
in 1990. It was one of the
few aordable postcodes within
walking distance of the West End, and as such attracted the
creative community. My local was the Duke of York on the corner
of Vine Hill and Clerkenwell Road. Just around the corner was
Heavenly, Je Barretts PR agency and edgling record label. Over
the road was Creation Records. Everyone used to drink in the
Duke, and it was here I rst met a ginger-haired rockabilly called
Angus Cameron. Angus had just made his rst promo for Creation
a brilliant, psychotic cut-up job for Primal Screams Loaded.
Immediately I saw it, I wanted to work with Angus. I blagged him
repeatedly about directing a full-length lm for Kinesis I just
didnt know what, at that point.
Back to The Farm; we persuaded the DJ Terry Farley to work on
the bands rst recording session. Terry had seen his Boys Own
comrade Andy Weatherall hit the heights with Primal Screams
Loaded, and fancied the challenge of giving The Farm a similar
makeover. We brought the band down to work, initially, in Suggss
Liquidator studios and after-hours they took to Londons nascent
Balearic scene like ducks to water. Places like Ziggys in Streatham,
Gosh!, The Milk Bar and Flying were all embracing a slowed-down,
laid-back, Ibiza-kissed soundscape and the clubs took The Farm to
their bosom.
And it wasnt just the clubs who were transforming The Farm
there was a whole community, loosely linked by Boys Own
magazine, whose input could be felt and valued; Fiona from Sign
of The Times, Jonathan Richardson at POP, Matthew Collin, the
photographer Glen Lutchford, hairdresser James Worrall at CUTS.
All of them, along with underground mags like The Positive Energy
of Madness, embraced their new Scouse house guests.
Perhaps the biggest ally, though, was club-runner Charlie Chester.
Charlie was the ebullient entrepreneur behind Flying Records.
He also ran the up-and-coming Flying nights at The Soho Theatre
Club on Charing Cross Road. I struck up an instant rapport with
him, and over the course of a vodka jelly session one Saturday
afternoon, he told of his plans to run a bespoke clubbers holiday to
Ibiza. It was to be in June 1990. Flyings galaxy of regular DJs would
be there Harvey, Dean Thatcher, Rocky & Diesel, Glen Gunner,
Ashley Beadle, Scott James and, naturally, Terry Farley along with
a whole tribe of guest jocks, too; Orde Miekle, Danny Rampling
and Andy Weatherall among the glitterati. And it was one of those
moments many of my stories come along in one, fully-formed
blast like this when everything fell into place all at once in my
vodka-stoked bonce. Wed get The Farm out to Ibiza. Kinesis would
take a lm crew. And Angus Cameron would direct. It all seemed
deliciously simple and crystal clear we were going to make the
greatest lmic testimony to a living, live youth culture, ever.
The lm wasnt without its hiccups and dramas; but it was
inspired. It was inspirational. I knew from the very rst night that
we were getting we were going to get something exceptional.
Our cameraman Tim Maurice-Jones found Herculean reserves of
strength to haul his tank-like gear around the Ku Club (as it was
then), dipping in and out of the bacchanalian crowd, somehow
managing to capture the essence of a danceoor that has just gone
o, lit up, ignited in the way that
club nights just do without
anyone noticing he was there.
There were other sublime
moments; A Man Called Adam on
the rocks by Caf del Mar, tablets
just kicking in as the sun set,
smiling beatically as they got to
the heart of Ibizas spiritual side:
How can somewhere so
beautiful be so mad?
There was writer Jane Bussman
ripping up the danceoor all by
herself in Es Paradis as she had a rave-o with a non-existent
groover (it was a massive big PA cabinet); and one of those
moments you just wish the cameras could have been there for
the great and the good of the London club scene o their trolleys
on chocolate brandies and MDMA powder, all sat cross-legged in
perfect serenity, making animal noises. Andy Weatherall was a frog.
The lm made its debut on Channel 4 on August 31, 1990. It was
loved by the people we made the lm for the club kids, old and
young. Many of the artistes featured on the lm went on to more
mainstream success; The Source, The Shamen, Saint Etienne and,
gladly, The Farm all had mega hit records thereafter; A Man Called
Adams Paul Daley formed Lefteld, while tracks by The Grid
and My Bloody Valentine underscored, I think, some of the most
stunningly moving melanges of music and images youll ever see
prompting many a request for a soundtrack CD and (initially) a
video and ultimately a DVD release. For me though, Ibiza: A Short
Film About Chilling was denitive of its time. It spawned many
imitators, and many a monster, Ibiza Uncovered perhaps being the
nadir. Yet the lm is no more or less than the joint inspiration of a
scene and its people coming together at the right time, in the right
place, with the right attitude. Without wanting to sound too hippy-
spiritual about it, ASFAC was and is an organic moment, captured
and sealed in a time capsule. Its online if people want to nd it.
I dearly hope it will remain elusive and semi-mythologised, out
there in the ether pure, original, innocent and joyful.
The lm of Kevins second novel Powder will be out next year.
Awaydays, his rst movie, is available now on DVD
1
Twenty years ago, a group of DJs, bands and ravers went out to Ibiza in search of the perfect clubbing
experience. Filmmaker Kevin Sampson recorded their antics and in doing so made a timeless
testament to the last great pop music movement
ENDLESS SUMMER
WE WERE GOING TO
MAKE THE GREATEST
FILMIC TESTIMONY
TO YOUTH CULTURE
52 Stories
Covered: Football, Italy, fascism
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ow distinctly unsteady on his feet, former junior sprinter
and long-jump champion Giovanni Maifredi is largely
reliant on his son Enzo to ferry him around Rome. Its an
arrangement which constantly irritates Maifredi Jr, especially as
his ageing father insists on carrying his Young Fascist black shirt
(unworn for more than 60 years) and a photograph of the preening
Il Duce, with jaw tilted at an outrageous angle, around with him,
which he shows to passers-by.
The pair spend most of the time
arguing, not always in a good-
natured way either. The situation
isnt helped by the fact that
Giovannis blind and incontinent
Labrador continually yelps
during our conversation.
The dog should be put down,
and my father is a crazy old
man, Enzo tells me before
adding, with deliberate volume
for his fathers benet, but hell
be dead soon, like his dog, I suppose. Enzos cheek earns him a
clout around the ear from Maifredi Sr. Seventy years ago, Giovanni
was an enthusiastic member of Mussolinis Young Fascists when
Italy hosted the second World Cup and he keeps his black shirt as
a reminder of the time when, Italy felt like it was aiming for the
stars. The national team was Il Duces football soldiers.
Giovanni has plenty of time to think about his life, and football
in particular. Italy has won the World Cup four times, he says.
Twice, in the 1930s, there were strong links with fascism. And in
1982 and 2006, both triumphs came as scandal [Totonero which saw
Paolo Rossi suspended for a year before the tournament and the
Moggiopoli bribery and match-xing scandal which broke during
the 2006 World Cup] engulfed the domestic league. Whenever
Italy wins on the grand stage, there is trouble. Whenever we dont
win, conspiracies y around. Always, there is trouble, whatever
happens. This is Italy, he shrugs. His biggest regret is being ill on
the day he was supposed to parade in front of Mussolini in Rome.
I had food poisoning, he laments. Others in my regiment saluted
him, and he met some of them individually and shook their hands.
It still gives me sleepless nights.
N
The World Cup proved that politicians of every hue are desperate to align themselves with
the beautiful game. But, as Jon Spurling reveals, it was Italian fascist Benito Mussolini
who rst realised that football could be an invaluable propaganda
tool way back in the 1930s
THE POWER
AND THE GLORY
Mussolini was thrilled, describing
it as further evidence of Italys
emergence into genuine power.
Mussolini revelled in the glory
of war, and in the 30s, football
was an entirely new ideological
battleeld. By 1932, there were
sucient modern stadia for Italy
to launch a successful bid for the
World Cup. Il Duce was thrilled at
the prospect of his country hosting
the tournament and not only did he
seek to use it as a propagandist tool
but he also demanded nothing less
than an Italian victory. With backing
from Comitato Olimpico Nazionale
Italiano (CONI), he challenged the
nations foremost sculptors to create
a special trophy (to be presented
to the triumphant Italian side,
obviously), which would reect
the glory of the nation.
The result was the Coppa del
Duce, which consisted of a group
of footballers xed in an action
scene in front of the fasces a
central bundle of rods carried by
magistrates in ancient Rome. It was
carved in bronze by the sculptor
Grazes, who had been responsible
for the winged statue of Victory on
the roof of the Littoriales Marathon
Tower. Standing at almost six times
the height of the Jules Rimet trophy
and laden with fascist iconography
of pure physical power, it was the
ultimate statement of intent by
Mussolini. One ocial press release
announced: Besides the World Cup
oered by FIFA, the football world
championship is blessed by some
of the richest prizes among which,
unique in moral value, is that oered
by Il Duce, who wanted to recognise
the exceptional importance of the
event in such a way. Shortly before
the nals, Mussolini had informed
Italian journalists: Good kicking
is good politics, and it quickly
became clear that Mussolini had no
intention of presenting the trophy to
any other team but his own.
This is an
excerpt from
Death
or Glory, by Jon
Spurling.
Published by
Vision Sports
Publishing, it
is available at
all major book
stores, inc. Waterstones and Amazon.
An ebook can be downloaded for the
Kindle. www.visionsp.co.uk
Father and son are in the midst of packing for their annual
excursion to the Museo del Calcio in Florence. Giovanni insists on
travelling there every April to see the Coppa del Duce, the bronze
trophy awarded to the victorious Italian side in 1934 by Mussolini,
and taking his son with him. My father is just a crazy old fascist,
grumbles Enzo, looking at his dad. Couldnt he just have died
in the war like most of the others?
After seizing control of Italy
in 1922, Mussolini stated his
intention to make the country
great, respected and feared.
During the 1930s, he embarked
on a series of lightning-fast
invasions of Libya and Ethiopia
in a bid to build his new Roman
Empire and gain respect as
an international statesman.
He needed football in order to
mobilise the masses at home
but, added to his military success,
if the national team gained plaudits in the World Cup, it would
conrm his standing, ocial party propaganda claimed, as
our new Julius Caesar.
Under Mussolinis regime, the country embarked upon an
ambitious construction programme, and sporting facilities and
stadia were right at the top of the list. Sports buildings, often with
marble statues nearby glorifying the beauty of the human body,
were designed to showpiece strength and athleticism and act as
a signpost to a new, vibrant Italian youth that the country was in
the ascendancy. Mussolini had a desire to propagate his image
of the new Italian as courageous, physically attractive, vigorous,
sporting, explains Angela Tegy of Rome University. He liked
to think he could lead from the front on this. Newsreel footage
regularly showed a bare chested Italian leader skiing or horse
riding. He loved ashy demonstrations of raw Italian power and
sponsored Major de Bernardis successful attempt to break the
water speed record. Before the Schneider Cup race in Norfolk,
Il Duce sent him a telegram saying, All Italy prays for your
success, as Bernardi prepared to y a Macchi Fiat monoplane.
In front of 60,000, he reached a maximum speed of 246 mph.
MUSSOLINI NEEDED
FOOTBALL IN ORDER
TO MOBILISE THE
MASSES AT HOME
SHOP MAISON MARGIELA RICK OWENS RAF SIMONS JIL SANDER ALEXANDER McQUEEN COMMON PROJECTS NIGEL CABOURN AND MORE
FEATURES STYLE INTERVIEWS PRODUCT ARCHIVES TECH-NI-CAL INVENTORY AND MORE
OKI-NI.COM
umbrella-july10.indd 1 08/07/2010 15:07:18
55 Iashion
56: Ralph Lauren's ultimate

cricket |umper
5S: Battle ol the chinos
60: MA. Strum vs Albam
62: Nev! Adidas Samba Casual Loolin ooJ whcn lhc sun shincs - anJ whcn il Jocsn`l
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The tournament`s over,

but we`re still loving Ralph
Lauren`s Wimbledon
collection. Preppy rules
our summer.
56 Fashion
Covered: Preppy, Ralph Lauren
Cricket jumper by Polo Ralph Lauren
Wimbledon collection, 375
Ralph Lauren
cricket jumper
UMBRELLA LOVES
Complete the look
Cricket chic
They may not play much cricket in the
States, but theres no reason why the Ralph
Lauren jumper cant be at the core of a
classic preppy outt. Were looking at mid-
September as the ideal time for this outt.
Warm in the day, but cool in the evening.
1. Weejun loafers by Bass, 90
2. White pants by Polo Ralph Lauren
3. Cricket jumper by Polo Ralph Lauren
4. Blue and white striped shirt by Polo Ralph
Lauren Wimbledon collection, 95
Stockists: Polo Ralph Lauren Wimbledon
collection 020 7535 4600
Part of the
bigger picture
The jumper is one
of the core pieces
of Ralph Laurens
Wimbledon collection.
Other standout items
include blazers, white
pants and our favourite,
the slim-t polo shirts
Cable knit
keeps it cosy
Proper cricket jumpers
are made of cable knit
cotton. This ones
chunky but not overtly
so, meaning it will
keep you warm if it
gets a bit nippy, but not
leave you sweaty and
uncomfortable
Back to the
golden age
Even though its called
a cricket jumper,
the item in fact harks
back to the days when
tennis players wore
long trousers and thick
jumpers to play their
chosen sport in
Keep it close
to your chest
As its made from cotton,
Umbrella recommends
wearing the jumper over
nothing more than a
vest. Its too close-tting
for a shirt underneath,
so keep it simple
1
2
3 4
58 Fashion
Covered: Chinos
Faded chinos by Polo Ralph Lauren, 95 Blue chinos by Universal Works, 95 Stone chinos by Dockers, 60 Black chinos by Dockers, 60 1969 chinos by Gap, 45
Editors
choice
Now
where did
I leave my
khakis?
For years, the chino was a relic
of the 50s-obsessed late-1980s.
Today, however, the US classic is
rightly regarded as an essential
part from shorts, theres only one solution
when it comes to keeping your legs cool in
the summer: chinos. A staple of American
everyday wear since the 1930s, a pair of khakis
are light and airy enough to stop your pins getting
lightly steamed in the afternoon sun. Obviously,
you should avoid any of the multi-pleated jobs so
popular on Wall St dress-down-Fridays and plump
instead for some better tted options like the ones
we have here. Just dont wear them with brogues.
A
60 Fashion
Covered: Albam, MA. Strum, jackets
tting tribute to
Massimo Osti, the CP
Company founder/
designer whose inuence
can still be found in much
modern menswear, MA.
Strums collections weld
science to style. This jacket
boasts a rubberised interior,
waterproof exterior, all
sorts of pockets and a zip so
chunky you could spend years
playing with it. An essential
coat for the new footy season.
Stockists: MA. Strum
www.my-wardrobe.com
A
Jacket by
MA. Strum, 249
n a little over two
years, Albam has
become one of the
most inuential players in
the mens fashion market. Its
done this by creating simple,
well made items that tap into
our love for old school quality
clobber. With its 1950s feel,
this drawstring parka is just
the sort of thing that appeals
to the geography teacher in
all of us. Righto, chaps,
anyone fancy a stroll?
Stockists: Albam
www.albamclothing.com
I
Hillwalker coat by
Albam, 190
62 Fashion
Covered: Trainers, Adidas, Vans
f youre a gentleman
of a certain age, you
may be reluctant
to invest in a pair of Vans,
fearing that theyre a bit too
skateboard for your tastes.
Dont be. These super-simple
pumps boast a striking rubber
sole, a blue cotton upper and
satisfyingly wide gap either
side of lace holes. Their at,
wide prole means they look
fantastic with jeans or chinos.
Just dont wear them in the
wet no good will come of it.
Stockists: size.co.uk
I
Vans Vulcanized
pumps 40
heres no more
classic trainer than
the Samba, though
what actually constitutes a
Samba these days can be
anything from the original
black and white leather job to
these limited edition crackers.
Constructed of blue suede
with a super-light gum sole,
these trainers boast lovely
trefoil detailing on the tongue
and heel, and a sleek shape
similar to Adidas Dublin
shoe. An undisputed classic.
Stockists: size.co.uk
T
Adidas Samba
Casual, 75
64 Fashion
Covered: Vintage, Sergio Tacchini, Benetton
e may have been a top
tennis player, but to
a generation of British
males, Sergio Tacchini will
always be most famous for his
sportswear. Worn by people
that mattered whether it was
McEnroe at Wimbledon or
Spurs top boys on The Shelf
the Dallas came with a pair of
ared bottoms so wonderful
Umbrella still lusts after them
to this day. Happily, a quick
Google search will see you
furnished with a new pair in
a couple of days. Excellent.
H
nlike many classics
from the mid-1980s,
Benettons signature
rugby shirt has never been
reissued. Something that
Umbrella, which owns an
original (in a childs size!) is
very pleased about. Designed
for Mediterranean teenagers,
it soon became a terrace
staple in England, though girls
also loved it. Alongside the
brands polo shirts and due
bags, it sealed Benettons
iconic status something that
continues to this day.
U
Benetton rugby
jersey, 1984
Sergio Tacchini
Dallas tracksuit
Vintage Vintage
Covered: Collections, publications 66 And nally...
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OBSESSIONS
n the days beIore LoaJcJ, beIore lads`

mags, beIore adverts Ieaturing soIabound
Iootball Ians waving their hsts at imaginary
televisions, the only place you could hnd about our
culture was in Ianzines. We`re not talking about the
punk mags oI the I970s, but `80s Ianzines that talked
about the absurdities oI everyday liIe, a world away
Irom the rarehed atmosphere oI publications like
Thc Iacc and iD. At the centre oI their world was
the Iootball ground, but Thc LnJ and Boy's Own
took in Iashion, music and clubs, as well as people
who sold hot dogs or played Sunday league soccer.
Much oI this writing has now transIerred online
with supersharp blogs like Oncumanship and Swinc,
but that need to tell stories about the ordinary
and occasionally, the extraordinary is as strong as
ever. The collection oI publications pictured here is
testament to the British male`s knack oI producing
something brilliant out oI nothing. It`s a tradition we
at Umhrclla are proud to uphold.
w
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Hell's Kitchen: what happened

to the last working class
neighbourhood ol Manhattan
. creating the perlect pie with
Canteen restaurant. beautilul
London maps and guides ol the
I920s. Autumn lashion special:
clothes you actually want to
wear, photographed in detail.
plus the usual travel, transport,
architecture and sport.
www.umbrellamagazine.co.uk

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A nev

Iashion Architecture Travel Ideas Sport Design

I0: Amsterdam, killer

Le Meurice is perhaps Paris`

You`ll inevitably tall out

livc rcasons no| |o o |o lra.i|

42: Surviving the Poll Tax riot

56: Ralph Lauren's ultimate

The tournament`s over,

n the days beIore LoaJcJ, beIore lads`

Hell's Kitchen: what happened

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