The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical limitations. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, and brief commands ("NO!" "indeed !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he sees, where he goes, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own may prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than observed to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:18 As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy - his skin, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well beyond the cribstage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's wishes increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is each and every indication in the Bible which God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to present his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as do Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, etc.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to build mental and physical self-discipline, and should be seriously considered by home school parents. Self-discipline in a school is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch).

4. The refusal of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work. 5. The actual denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Projects totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] unto Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my personal strength and my protect ; my heart trusted in him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy lord : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that that he desires to do that might develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a young child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had

opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are the problems of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' obligation ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect desires of the flesh. For because he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. Twenty three :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened on to them for ensamples: plus they are written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but diligent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve conflict with the fleshly nature of your child. 2. Train your child to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time training him to be cautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as you do on the training of bodily discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actual presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating selfesteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the actual practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the days are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a child with little selfdiscipline. If you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay a dear price - a kid left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor may he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future adult. View all training because preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a young

child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents possess a great advantage in character building, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are neglecting character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly nature. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me personally, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction and discipline. Train up a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 you'll be able to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build an inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by providing consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to teach to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in himself : it is not in man which walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James one :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8

11. To maintain rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To deny the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to work with no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To deny feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a freedom so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To continue in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. Three :27 23. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:10 27. In order to cooperate with the needs associated with others - to acknowledge his needs for the advantage of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he's old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to perform evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the pattern of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.

SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of time. Be on time to church, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside play at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of your time how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the fishing rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouraged-because the pleasures of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those unfortunate things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would also refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he that hath begun a good are employed in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29