| feature | cambodia |

cambodian lesbian activist chork Suphorn (right); opposite, clockwise from left: campaigner ly pisey; gay women celebrate pride; cambodian pride banner the words say We Who love the Same Sex

SaVing Face or coming out:

cambodian leSbianS Find their place in Society

meghan LeWIS Spent three yearS LIvIng In camBoDIa, WhILSt WorKIng for the Khmer hIv/aIDS ngo aLLIance. DurIng thIS tIme She heLpeD Set up camBoDIaS fIrSt LgBt organISatIon
as a young woman living in 21st century Britain, I have had the freedom to explore, discover and express my own sexuality with relatively few challenges. I feel lucky to live in a society where same-sex relationships are recognized and discrimination laws are in place to protect all people regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. unfortunately, my own experience is not representative of all young lesbians in the uK or the majority of lesbians in the world. Samesex relationships are still illegal in at least 80 countries and many gay and lesbian people risk their freedom and their lives through the simple act of loving their partner. even in more tolerant countries, lesbians often struggle to find their place in society, facing discrimination and isolation. During the three
70 diVamag.co.uk march 2012

years that I lived in cambodia, I was fortunate enough to meet the very brave women who are fighting oppression and living openly as lesbians in their communities. When I arrived in cambodia, I was instantly struck by the warm smiles and hospitality that is ingrained in the countrys customs. I quickly learned of the high value placed on family and culture and the understandable wish to remain true to cambodian traditions and values in the midst of nationwide development and transformation. traditionally, cambodian women are expected to be gentle and subservient; it is taken for granted that they will marry men and fulfill their roles as obedient wives. Long hair, gentle mannerisms and feminine clothing are highly valued. Women who do not

comply with these strong gender expectations often face exclusion from their families. until very recently, the chbap Srey (Womens code of conduct) was taught in schools to educate girls about the role of women in society and it indicates how women are viewed in cambodia. the chbap Srey teaches girls not only how to dress and act in feminine ways, but also how to fufil their duties as a wives: Suppress your emotions to avoid the risk of having your husband insult you; even if your husband has a terrible temper you must never dare to reply. many cambodian lesbians find their identities in constant conflict with the values set out in the chbap Srey. a large proportion of cambodian lesbians identify as the third gender, believing that they were born neither entirely

070_Cambodian.indd 70

19/01/2012 14:58