Against Democracy

(7 short plays of Grand Guignol)

Esteve Soler Translated by Mike Buck

In this world everything is questioned except for one thing: democracy. But how can we talk about democracy if those who really rule the world arent chosen by the people? Jos Saramago

Definition of Grand Guignol: Theatrical genre of French origin created at the end of the 19th century which by means of short sketches intended to reflect the monstrous nature of our times through horror and surrealistic farce.

Press:

...a powerful work, crazy and political at the same time...as entertaining as it is forceful and effective. Le Figaro, Armelle Hlliot

The Ionesco of our times. Elefcerotypa, Ioanna Kleftgiani

Texts that go straight to the bulls-eye. Ta Nea, Yiorgos Sarigianis

Amazing...dark and abysmal....brilliant and strange...moving. Bieler Tagblatt, Christopher Pochon

His burlesque scenes unmask the monstrosities generated by the times we are living in. Weltexpress, Hinrike Gronewold

Death and comedy, humor and horror, go hand in hand in the fantastical scenes of Soler, while the contemporaneity of his subject matter is a revelation. Berliner Zeitung, Ilona Goyeneche.

1. The stage remains full of cobwebs. From them hang a couple, Husband and Wife, wrapped up inside a pair of cocoons, which have been produced by a large spider. The cocoon only allows you to see their face and doesnt give them the slightest freedom of movement, not even enough for them to move their head so that they can see each other. The wife is pregnant. Pause. Wife How did things go at work today? Husband Fine, as usual. The usual problems finding a place to park... Wife And how come they dont sort this out? Husband I dont know. We all arrive together at 8 oclock ... And of course its all chock-a-block. They should plan for this somehow at the town hall... Wife Really... Husband Theres no way I can arrive at work on time! Wife Well, theyve got to sort it out. Husband Im really fed up with it all... Who do they think they are? They havent got any idea of what we could do to them. Wife You should complain... Husband Its really gone far enough. Can someone tell us why we pay our taxes? Wife Exactly... Husband Isnt my vote useful for something? Theyll see when election time comes around again... Wife This time they wont find it so easy Husband Our votes are useful for something... You know what happens if we dont go through with the ritual of putting our vote in the ballot box, dont you? What do they think? That we dont know how to do it? That we cant take this action? Wife They should think about it... Husband I mean its really serious... Were the ones who provide these lazy bastards with a job. What have they been thinking about? To solve this problem and whatever else. Whatever we want! Wife Thats absolutely right...

Husband People are not stupid. And when youve had enough, thats it... These lazy bastards, I wont vote for them, oh no I wont Im not going to move an inch to vote for these ones again, oh no ... Wife Well vote for the others. Husband As everybody says they will. Wife Exactly... Husband Well get them out, youll see... Well get them all out. Well kick them out. Wife Kickem out. Husband Exactly... Pause. Husband And you, hows your day been? Wife Exactly... Husband Hows it been? Wife Oh yes, yes, fine but,... Husband Im glad about that. Wife But when I was cleaning the bathroom, ... Husband - What? Wife I fainted. Husband - Christ... And are you alright now? Wife Yes, fine. It must be the pregnancy... Husband Why didnt you call me? Wife It was only a moment. Husband Did you go to the doctor? Wife Oh, no, Ive told you I was alright. Husband But you never know, the cause could be something thats not easy to see. You should go to see him. Wife Relax. Husband Do you want me to go with you now? To the doctors? Itll only take a moment.

Wife Im perfectly OK, I really am. Husband And how is it that you fainted? Wife I dont know, I dont remember much. I was cleaning and I found a corner, up there, between the mirror and the cupboard It was very dirty and I was about to use the cloth and I saw something moving ... Husband What was moving? Wife The what? I dont know, something or other... it seemed to me that it was moving and then ... Husband What could it be? What was it like? Wife Oh, I dont know, I dont want to remember... Husband Are you sure you feel fine? Do you want me to bring you a glass of water? Wife Well, do you know what? A brief pause. Wife - Yes . That would be kind of you. A brief pause. Wife Nice and cool. Husband O.K. fine. A brief pause. Wife From the fridge. Pause. Husband These politicians... are the limit... theyre all the same... Theyre all corrupt. Theyre all the same. Theres not a clean one amongst them. Wife gradually starts to feel more worried and anxious. Husband But thats going to change. Well make it change. For our little girl. We can change things. Its our responsibility. Something inside the Wifes belly starts to move. Wife gets really on edge. Wife I think that... Husband What?

Wife I think its starting already. Husband Already? Wife Quick... Go and get the car! Husband Im going right now! Start doing your breathing exercises. Wife I know, I know. Go! Wife does it. Husband Im on my way, Im on my way! A long pause. Both of them are really on edge and anxious. Wife Where are you? Husband Im here. Wife Is it far to go? Husband I think were nearly there. Wife Cant you go a bit faster? Husband Were nearly there. The Wifes waters break. Wife I think that my waters have broken! Husband Dont be afraid. Wife Im not afraid, but I want to arrive at the hospital! Husband Were getting there... There are a lot of cars! Wife Were not going to make it! Husband Yes, we will, well make it! Wife Itll be born before we get there. Husband Youve got to trust me. I wouldnt let you down. The woman shouts. Pause. A spider comes out of the Wifes belly. Its horrible and enormous, as if it had been shrunk during the period of gestation and now had expanded to its real size. Neither the Husband nor the Wife look at it, nor can they look at it because of the strong cobwebs which they are caught up in. Pause. Wife What is she like? Pause.

Husband Its just what we were hoping for. She couldnt be more beautiful. Wife smiles. Husband This is the fruit of all our efforts. The little girl of our dreams. The spider comes closer to them. Pause. Wife Describe her. Describe her to me. Husband She seems to have a smile on her face. Were just like her... Its like seeing the two of us in a mirror together. The spider begins to devour the Husband, who gradually realises this and his speech becomes harder to follow because of the pain hes suffering. Wife What would you say to her if she could understand you? A brief pause. Husband We hope to be the parents you deserve. We hope to be at the level expected of us and that youll be able to forgive us if at some moment we arent. I want you to know that if that happens, itll never be because we dont love you. You are the person who has meant most to us in our life and even though we dont know you yet, youve made us the happiest couple in the world. I hope that youll never lack for anything and that we can give to you the happiness that youve given to us at this moment. Pause. Wife Go on. Husband Perhaps it seems selfish to have brought you into a world like this, which is sometimes neither attractive nor pleasant, but it also has its little rewards, which Im sure you will be able to enjoy, Im sure of that. Husband speaks in a voice that expresses unbearable pain. Husband Well try to teach you. Well always be there. By your side to lift you up when you fall. To support you every time that you slip up, to dry your tears The Husbands speech becomes hard to follow as hes about to expire. Husband - ...when you want to cry, to laugh with you when you want to laugh, to listen to you when you need it. Husband begins to lose consciousness.

Wife Can I ask you for something? The spider leaves the half-eaten Husband. The spider comes close to the Wife. Wife Id like a glass of water. Please. The spider begins to gnaw Wifes leg. Wife Nice and cool. A brief pause. Wife From the fridge. A brief pause. Wife I deserve it. Dont you think? Pause. Wife From here I can see the street and I can see what the citys like, full of everything which surrounds us. The streets are all joined up. The city is no longer ours, perhaps it never has been. But one day youll know how to sort it out. Youll change things. The spider stops, leaving Wife with her leg gnawed away, almost to the bone. Wife Youll be the future. The future will be better. Wife loses consciousness. Pause. The spider gets closer to the audience. Fade to darkness.

2.

A futuristic office with an enormous window from which you can see a ruined, almost deserted city. Y looks at it, standing, affected by it but not overwhelmed, whilst X sits beside him. X It was ours, ours by right. Pause. Y What? X The city, the city was ours. We had a right to it. Dont you think so? Y Of course. Y sits down in front of X. X At first we thought of repeating the elections until the result was what wed planned, but then... Y Of course... Whats the point? X I dont know, the fact is that we couldnt be bothered to go through all that farce of the elections again, set everything up for nothing. People running around with those stupid envelopes. What is there inside? What do they think you can say just with an envelope once every 4 years? Y Basically what you did was necessary. X Exactly. In another situation, we would have left them without food, medicine and technology, until they changed their mind. Just like they tried with Cuba. Y A massive relocation of companies also works well to change governments. X Thats true, but we wanted to demonstrate our power directly. This time we said to ourselves: dont be weak, the city is ours, so lets take it. All of it. Y They themselves had lost it with their incompetence. It belonged to you. X Im glad that you realize that. I can see that I wasnt mistaken in calling you. Y I can still remember photos where you could see the stupefied look of those smart ones who were returning a book to the library and saw how the whole building was being taken away. X- Yes, that was a good moment. A very good one. We still remember it here.

Y I also saw a video in which they took away a childs swing with a little girl still on it. X I always look at that one when I want to have a good laugh. Y And slowly the rest is disappearing? Everything? The squares, the traffic lights, the tarmacked road... X In a couple of days, there was nothing in the city, nothing. Sometimes its good to wipe the slate clean, to forget about embarrassing feelings... Y It was fair; they wanted an authentic sovereign will, didnt they? Perfect, from now on, but well see how they manage... X Not a single street lamp, not a single leaf floating through the air, not a chance cry of a woman. Nothing. Y You wanted to be strict with what was yours. Its understandable. Property exists for a good reason. Were there revolts, deaths and things like that? X I never read the pages of the paper with news stories, I go directly to the economy section. Y I understand. X As you know, the people ended up going somewhere else, I dont know where. They formed a travelling band of nomads. Y It must be boring not to be able to do anything in a place if theyve taken everything, including the place. X Anyway, I must tell you that weve got tired of having everything and whats more we want to show it, to show that weve got it all. Y Thats one of the main reasons for having it, naturally. X We werent happy with the citizens, with the population, but that doesnt stop us doing away with them and choosing another in their place. Y And thats where I come in. X Exactly. Have you brought it? Y Yes. As I didnt know if it would bother you here inside, Ive left it at the entrance. Y gets up from his chair, leaves the office and comes back in dragging a very heavy, basic-looking sack, in which there could perfectly well be a person.

X It makes me very happy to know that you too are committed. Y - You can be sure of that. Deep inside of me, 100 per cent. X We want to have a city again with all kinds of things, and even people, but not just any kind of people. Y This time you cant allow them not to respect what is yours. X There must be a logical selection process. Y A selection process to be citizens? X Precisely. We dont want any person who thinks differently to be accepted. In fact thats the main reason for having borders. Y And you want me to X gets up from his chair, goes up to Y and puts his hands on his shoulders. X We want you to choose them. Y Itll be an honour. X And that you make them believe that they need a government. That they need you. Y Do you want me to be a politician? X We want you to be the number one politician. A good politician, fair, honest and ours. Y I wont have problems if I can choose the citizens. Inside the sack something moves slightly for a moment. X Thats our idea. Y And you still want me to organize elections? X We thought about it and we believe that now, with the votes in favor, it could be a good time to try it again. Basically democracy is as profitable as McDonalds. Few franchises have acquired so much prestige, renown and trust as those two. Y And what have the new citizens got to be like? Inside the sack, without X and Y being able to see it, theres more and more movement, as if somebody was waking up. X Without any desire to think...

Y They must like football... It always works, but I dont know if it has already been used too much to manipulate and its too obvious... X Its important that theyre entertained, that theyre laughing all the time, that they cant be bothered to talk about important, decisive topics What would happen if they became obsessed with the problem of solving the world famine problema? But really doing it? They would cause a financial crisis which would make us lose ground with respect to our competitors. Y Anybody or anything which causes ideas to get confused and makes other people think must be immediately isolated and marked out as wrong. X Independent thinking: forbidden, or even better, forgotten. No noisy artists. Politics in art must be always old-fashioned. Y The only criticisms that will be accepted are those which are so cryptic and subtle that nobody understands them. X But it is especially important that they want to have everything and everybody. Y Obsessed with buying everything and with fucking everybody, is that it? X - Can there be a better way of making people become obsessed ? If seduction is established all the time everywhere, then you dont think about secondary matters like dignity. In a society in which everybody is thinking only about changing their partner all the time, theres not the slightest chance of an emotionally sound rebellion. No woman should have you tied down, believe me. Y Agreed. And will an opposition party be necessary when we rule? X We can do 2 things. Either we organize it ourselves and we make the parties almost impossible to tell apart, all of them sponsored by us or we invite the American democrats to come here. Y Id prefer the opposition to do something . X Alright. Lets forget the Yanks then. From inside the sack, there can be heard a slight groan which makes X and Y aware of its presence. Both of them approach it and look at it. X What have you brought? Y What you asked me for. X Is it alive? Completely?

Y I dont know. As you didnt make it clear, Ive simply stunned it a bit. X Is it a man or a woman? Y Let me have a look. Y opens the sack, looks inside and quickly closes it again. Y Its a woman and shes waking up. X Lets see... X looks inside. He cant believe what hes seen. X Where did you get that from? Y Whats the matter? I got hold of one of the nomads and Ive brought her to you, as we agreed, to try and possibly recycle some of them and let them come into the city again.. X Its my ex wife! Y What? X How could you have brought my ex here! Y I dont know! The woman, Z, wakes up and gets out of the sack. Z Where am I? What the hell are you doing here? X Hi darling, how are you? What are you doing? Y Oh, my God! Z looks out of the window. Z What have you done to the city? X Its undergoing a process of redesign. Z Redesign? Theres nothing there! Thats just a horrible, enormous building plot. X Come off it, we wanted to... Z And have you done all that because of me? Y What? Z You said that you would get rid of everything which reminded you of me. Anything at all. You promised me that the day I left you.

X How can you be so selfish as to think that everything revolves around you Z You told me that you would destroy the city because you didnt want anything which would remind you of me, because you didnt want to think of me again. X You spiteful fucking bitch! Y Oh, my God! Z You bastard... How were you capable of that? I intend to tell everybody. I intend to come after you in this new city of yours and make your life unbearable. X Youve always been a bitch... Z And Ill get my friends to help me, especially those that you got on worse with! Y Im really sorry... Z Well tell the whole city why I left you and how pathetic and pitiful you are. Y You should calm down... X tries to put Z back in the sack again. Z escapes. Z This time it wont be so easy for you to get rid of me. Y helps X to put Z in the sack, Z goes on shouting from inside the sack. Y Did you do all that just because of her? Pause. X starts to kick the sack savagely and Y joins in. Meanwhile, David Bowies The man who sold the world plays. Blood starts to come out of the sack. They stop, clean their shoes while they get their breath back. X - Well, perhaps its not such a good idea to set up the city again. Y And what about a super-size brothel? X For my part thats even better. Y Come on, lets go. They take the sack and remove it from the stage. Fade to darkness.

3. A man knocks on his neighbours door. Its the typical landing of an apartment block.

Man Good evening. Woman neighbour Good evening. Man Im sorry to wake you up. Woman neighbour It doesnt matter. We werent sleeping yet. Well my husband was but I wasnt yet. Man Im really sorry. Woman neighbour Dont worry about it. Tell me what you want. Man Excuse me, but I was on my way home and I couldnt stop thinking about it. Woman neighbour Really? Home I was wondering... A brief pause. Man What number comes after 6? Woman neighbour Pardon? Man 6. Which number comes after 6...? Pause. Woman neighbour Mmm. Man Ive spent the whole afternoon thinking about it. Woman neighbour Is this a joke? Man A joke? What? Woman neighbour Excuse me but youve just knocked on my door at 2 in the morning to ask me which number comes after 6? Man I know, Im sorry, its very late Woman neighbour Its not that its late, its that. Its something ridiculous. Man Something ridiculous? Why? Woman neighbour Im sleepy. Tomorrow Ive got to get up early... Man Youve got to understand me... Woman neighbour No, youre the one whos got to understand me. I get up really early and I dont like being made a fool of.

Man Alright then, tell me and Ill leave. Woman neighbour Ehhh... What a cheek to come here drunk and start bothering people... The Woman neighbour tries to close the door. The man gets closer to her. Man What number is it? Just that. Woman neighbour closes the door. The man remains there crestfallen. A long pause. Woman neighbour opens the door, looking thoughtful and a bit worried. Woman neighbour Lets see... Man Yes. Woman neighbour would like to clear the matter up quickly. Woman neighbour First theres 1. Man Of course. Woman neighbour ...then 2 ... after that ... Woman neighbour has doubts. A brief pause. Man 3... Woman neighbour 4, 5, 6... Man And then? Woman neighbour And and thats it. Man No, thats not it. Woman neighbour Blimey ... Home Can you see it? Woman neighbour Its not possible, its not possible... Lets see... 1... 2... A brief pause. Man 3... Woman neighbour Yes, 3... 4... 5... 6... Thats really incredible! Man What comes next? Woman neighbour And how did you realise?

Man I dont know, I was counting something or other and suddenly... Woman neighbour Amazing! How lucky that youve warned us. Man I thought that you who live on the 6th floor should know. Woman neighbour Now Ill tell Eugene. Man But wasnt he sleeping? Woman neighbour Yes, but hes got to know about this. Man Yes, yes... Woman neighbour goes into her flat to wake up the husband. Woman neighbour Eugene! Wake up! Eugene! The man, meanwhile, counts on his fingers but cant get beyond six. Woman neighbour returns accompanied by the Man neighbour, her husband, half-asleep. Man neighbour Whats the matter? Woman neighbour Start counting. Man neighbour What are you saying? Woman neighbour Count. Come on, Ill help you. 1... 2... Man neighbour Whats this all about? Woman neighbour Wake up because this is important. 1... 2... Man neighbour Oh, I dont know... A brief pause. Man 3... Woman neighbour 3! Eugene, 3! Man 4... Woman neighbour What else? Man neighbour I dont understand you... 5... 6... A brief pause. Woman neighbour And? Man neighbour And what? Woman neighbour Its amazing. What comes next?

Man neighbour Well I dont know ... Woman neighbour Theres nothing Eugene, dont you realize. Nothing! Theres nothing! Man I realised as I was coming home today. Man neighbour Its not possible, my dear... There must be something. Woman neighbour Ah, very well then tell me what it is... If youre so clever... Man neighbour Let me think... We live on the 6th floor... Man Its for that reason that Ive come to tell you first. Woman neighbour What is there above us Eugene? What is up there? For Gods sake , you dont realise that its a danger! Man neighbour Oh, I dont know, I suppose theres another floor, I dont know... Woman neighbour But which Eugene, which one? Man neighbour I dont know and thats the truth. Woman neighbour But how could this have happened? Man I dont know, its a mystery, it really is. Woman neighbour Oh, look, Ive just come over all hot and cold. Woman neighbour takes hold of the man, whos a bit surprised. Man neighbour Perhaps in the morning, when were a bit calmer well see everything more clearly Woman neighbour No, no, weve got to sort this out now. What would happen if someone got up before us and found themselves in this situation? Man I wouldnt like to be in their shoes. Woman neighbour Naturally, of course... Man neighbour Perhaps its just temporary... Woman neighbour What do you mean? Man neighbour Well maybe in a short while itll be sorted out and therell be something after 6... Woman neighbour Just by magic, is that it?

Man I think we are faced with a really serious problem. Woman neighbour Do you see Eugene... And you who were saying that there was nothing wrong ... Man Ive been thinking that... I dont know, but I believe that... Woman neighbour Go on, tell me... Im interested... Man It could be that... Its only a hypothesis, but... It could be a conspiracy. Woman neighbour Whose? Man Do you remember when they got rid of schools to make us freer? Woman neighbour Yes. Man Some teachers, a few, remained alive. Woman neighbour Of course... Hes right... Man neighbour Im sleepy. Woman neighbour Its a conspiracy... Man It really looks like it... And that could be very, very dangerous. Woman neighbour Oh, my God Home And we havent sorted out whats on the next floor... Woman neighbour Blimey, thats right, what do you think could be there? Man If theres nothing after 6... One of two things: either infinity or nothing. Woman neighbour - Eugene, go and check it out. Man neighbour Well look at it tomorrow. Woman neighbour No way. We cant delay a second longer. Man Its for the common good. Man neighbour And then Ill be able to go to sleep, wont I? Woman neighbour Oh, come on, go up, its not difficult for you! Man neighbour goes up the stairs. The floor above is lit in a troubling way. Woman neighbour Be careful!

Man Well remember your sacrifice Man neighbour has gone up to the floor above. Woman neighbour What can you see there? A brief pause. Woman neighbour Eugene? Man What is there? Infinity or nothing? A brief pause. Woman neighbour Eugene, answer: infinity or nothing? Man How horrible... Woman neighbour Are you alright? For Gods sake! Answer! Eugene! Man Hes dead. After 6 theres nothing. Woman neighbour And now what are we to do? Man I have to go up. Woman neighbour No, to sacrifice another person wouldnt do any good and Id be left alone. Who will protect me then? Man Well, Ill stay with you. A brief pause. Woman neighbour On which side of the bed do you like to sleep? A brief pause. Man On the left. Woman neighbour Me on the right. Man Thats perfect. We wont have any problems. Pause. Woman neighbour And what time do you get up? Man Between 6 and... A brief pause. Woman neighbour - Well, lets say 6. They both go with firm step into the Woman neighbours flat and close the door. Fade to darkness.

4. An abandoned, scruffy-looking park, on a sultry morning. Man 1 enters with a little catapult in his hand, ready to fire at any moment. Hes

wearing a suit and tie. Hes anxious, waiting for someone to throw a stone at him, a stone just like the one hes got in his hand. Suddenly, both he and the audience hear a stone flying through the air coming near, a stone which turns out to be an enormous rock, which crushes Man1, whose arms are all we can see. The catapult falls from his hand, too far for him to get it back. Pause. Man 2 comes in with his little catapult and dressed as smartly as Man 1 . Cautiously, Man 2 checks that hes hit Man 1. He celebrates. Man 2 Wow! What a good shot! I got a bullseye! Amazing! Man 2 stops celebrating. Oh, sorry, ... Perhaps Ive been rather insensitive with my celebrations, havent I? I wouldnt want to appear arrogant A brief pause. But to tell you the truth, Im happy to have got a bullseye the first time. Its not easy... Sometimes... You need skill to score a bullseye. My children showed me how to do it. I told you they were clever kids... They know everything. A brief pause. Ill leave mine here, alright? On the ground. Next to yours. He does this. Now were on equal terms. I cant attack you and you cant attack me either. A brief pause. I must congratulate you. You were right. Coming out to the park to settle our differences has been very profitable. Ill suggest doing it more often. After a stressful meeting, after a telling-off from the boss. Its like those executives who go somewhere to play paintball What a laugh, isnt it? You have great ideas, dont you ? I enjoyed that, you ... A brief pause. At work theres too much aggression, its sad. Will you let me tell you something? Im telling you because I trust you Sometimes, I have the feeling that the free market only exists so that you can destroy your rivals. Have I used language which is too technical? You know what I mean, dont you? For any moderately intelligent economist, whats the point in having a civilised attitude towards other people? What advantage is there for me in being a good person? None at all.

Its for that reason that when you saw me at a bad moment in the office I was happy that you suggested going out to the park to play for a while. Pause. Its good news for your business when you hear that things are going badly for your competitor. Thats quite clear. Man 2 hits the top of the stone. But, what good can be built using this as a base? And in the same way, its not necessarily bad news for the system that life is made difficult for ordinary people. On the contrary. The easier it is to sack people, in precarious conditions, the better it is for companies and the economy. It encourages people to be bad. Selfish attitudes are considered fine. Whats more, selfish people are seen as clever people who are on a higher level than others. Man 2 is on top of the stone. Theyve made evil quite legal, do you realise? Do you realise? Evil has won. Its really serious. Man 2 breathes deeply, calmly and peacefully. Without Man 2 realising, Man 1 moves his hand slightly, exhausted and in pain. Capitalism is totally incompatible with any initiative which maintains that people are equal, like democracy. Even this false democracy we live in. Therell always be someone whos walking over the others. Taking advantage of them. Man 2 stretches out on top of the rock. Capitalisms greatest ambition is to go for it all. Fill your pockets as much as you can and escape. And do you know what makes the most money? Youll find it funny if you think of the game you were suggesting to me. A brief pause. Tell me. Go on. Tell me. A brief pause. War. Man 1 stops moving his hand. Youve imagined it, havent you? In all the civilised countries we allow the other countries to mutilate each other and to kill each other with the weapons we sell them. Without exception. The West lives from death. Wars create the market and the market creates wars. And war

is the boss. Because war is money. When we are at war, everything is contolled by the exceptional circumstances which means that justice goes to hell. War is the boss. Home 1 moves, feeling the ground. What can our pathetic democracy do faced with that? Nothing. War is on a higher level than people. An aggressive impulse propelled by money is more valuable than thousands of lives, than the will of thousands... And some have the cheek to say that democracy has brought peace to the world. Man 1 jumps from the stone. Capitalism will crush us. A system which believes in infinite growth cannot have a place in a world with finite resources. For that reason, when I said to you that I didnt know what to give my children to eat today, that I was broke, and you said to me that we should go out to play in the park, that it would help me to relax, well I felt moved, I really did. It was a good idea. Ill give you that. Man 2 notices the movements of Man 1. What are you doing? Whats your intention? Man 1 tries to get hold of his catapult, stretching out his hand in that direction. I thought that by now wed given up violence, hadnt we? Hadnt our game finished? Werent you listening to everything I was saying about war? Havent my words had any meaning for you? Man keeps on trying, desperately. We had an agreement not to attack each other, to treat one another as equals. Dont you want us to be on equal terms? Man 2 moves closer to the hand of Man 1. And what upsets me most is that I was being open and sincere with you. I was revealing my innermost feelings to you. Isnt that important to you? Man 2 treads on the hand of Man 1. Thats for betraying my trust. Man 2 enjoys doing it. Believe me, deep down it hurts me more than you.

Fade to darkness.

5. Farah comes on to the stage, dressed in a burka, the Muslim garment which covers the body completely. Farah is a woman of about 45 who

speaks in Arabic while her neighbour Josep, who is in the audience, translates her words for the rest of the audience. Farahs words which are translated directly by Josep are in inverted commas (Farah). I believe in democracy. Pause. You have to know. Its been really hard for me to come here and talk to you. To us, of course. For many, many reasons, but if Im here its because it means an awful lot to me Im very grateful to Josep, ...that is to say, to me... , who lives on the fifth floor, flat 5A, who can translate my words into your language. Hes always been very pleasant to me and my daughter. Thanks, Farah. Im happy about that. I hope that hes capable of making my words reach you with a calmness which I dont feel at this moment. Its a stroke of luck that he knows my language. I would really like to speak in your language one day in one of your neighbours meetings. I dont see why that cant happen in the future. Especially now. A brief pause. I know that Id never spoken to you, even though weve been neighbours for 3 years. Im sure that many of you didnt know that I lived in the same building as you. Perhaps youve run into my husband sometimes but its more difficult for me. A brief pause. I have a deep admiration for your culture, I believe in all the things which you believe in. You can be quite sure about that. My father had a lot of money and he gave me and my sisters an education that most other women in Afghanistan dont have. But I also have my own beliefs. And I want to keep them. A brief pause. There are not so many women who use the Burka. Although I know that it upsets a lot of you. She goes on to make a little joke and says that I know what you thought when you saw me: some of you have felt a little bit afraid, others have found it amusing, most of you have felt a bit ashamed. I can understand you. A brief pause. But from tomorrow onwards I wont wear any. There you are. A brief pause. They wont let me. Thats for sure. Pardon? A brief pause.

You have to think that the Burka is part of my culture and that it doesnt cause me or my daughter any problem. In no way do we feel we are the victims of this article of clothing. Do you feel you are in some way the victims of the mortgage on your home, when in fact the land should belong to everybody? Or do you feel insulted by the victims of car accidents? Speeding on the road is much more irresponsible than dressing up in the clothes I wear. If you want to go on living in a fair society , or rather which seems fair she means, where everybody can do what they want, you have to let us dress like this or as we wish. If you want to live in a fairer society, do away with private transport or make sure everybody has a place to live, but dont bother three or four people who dont pose any kind of threat for you. A brief pause. I wanted you to know that before explaining to you the reason why I came here today . A brief pause. Farah takes her hands from inside the Burka. They are bloodstained. Oh my God! What have you done? ! A long pause. Farah shows her hands to the audience. Why Farah? What have you done, Farah? Pause. Josep has stopped speaking. Farah, desperate, doesnt stop. I dont know if I can continue. My God! She said Please Josep youll have to help me! I dont know if I should translate that. My daughter and I need you. A brief pause. Josep is at a standstill. Farah orders him to go on translating. Yes, yes, Ill go on translating. Oh my God... Ive come here to explain to you what happened a short while ago in my home. Farah doesnt stop speaking but Josep doesnt say anything for quite a while. Oh, no, no, please no. Farah stops and reprimands Josep. Alright, alright, Ill explain it all... Josep, I, was speaking to my daughter from the balcony. Please... Shes a little girl... It wasnt the

first time, my husband knew. Then he saw them and got very angry. How horrible... Im so sorry. He went on and on hitting her, he wouldnt stop, he wanted her to remember that beating, he wanted her never to do it again. I thought he wanted to kill her. ... Josep doesnt know how to apologise. Its unforgivable. I should have suspected. Im so sorry... He lost control of himself. He went a bit further than usual. He didnt accept it and took hold of a letter-opener, not to stab her with, Im sure, but simply to threaten her. I tried to take it off him, but he wouldnt stop hitting her, he was still furious, and in a moment of confusion, when I had it in my hands, I dont know how, it ended up in his neck I didnt want I dont know how . A brief pause. ... Its all my fault. Farah goes up to Josep and caresses him with her bloodstained hands. Farah speaks again. She says that we must help her save her daughter. She says Someone will have to pay for the death of my husband And she believes it has to be her and not her daughter. She says that she believes she is lucky to be able to pay the price on her own, because in Afghanistan both of them would be stoned to death. She says I feel Im lucky. Thats what it means for me to be able to be the same as you A brief pause. She says But I dont want to lose my identity. I understand that Ive committed a terrible crime, which Ill have to pay for, but without the Burka I wont be myself. For me, its much more than something essential. Perhaps for you I shouldnt worry about that , but when the police call, please, you must ask them not to remove the Burka. I dont want to stop being myself. I know theyll want to take it off me. Please, Josep... Im afraid. A brief pause. Im so sorry Farah... She says to you I know that you will report me to the police. I understand, I wont hold it against you. A brief pause. Because youll do it, wont you, ? Will you do it? Id understand. Pause.

Go on. Perhaps one day, when I come out of prison, Ill be able to talk to you in your language and have a chat. A nice chat, she said. Farah leaves the stage. Josep immediately gets up and also leaves going behind her. Fade to darkness.

6.

Night. A couple of parents silently approach the bed of their teenage son. They stand by one another and look at him understandingly. The Mother pushes him roughly and the boy wakes up. Boy Hey! Whats up? Mother Are you awake? Boy What? Father Wake up Xavi. Boy Whats the matter? Mother Nothings wrong. We just wanted to talk to you. Boy What time is it? Father Half past four. Boy And you want to talk now? Whats the matter? Have I done something wrong? Mother We just want to talk to you for a little while. Boy Cant you wait until tomorrow morning? Father Its got to be now Xavi. Dont be such a sleepyhead. Mother Weve wanted to tell you this for a long time. Father - Weve been thinking about it for a long while and Mother Weve been good to you, havent we? Boy What do you mean? Father Not so fast! What your mother means is that youve just turned 18 and we think that you should know certain things. Boy Ah ha ... Whats going on? Am I adopted or something like that? Mother No, I can guarantee you that I carried you for 9 months in my belly. You can be sure about that. Boy You dont want to talk to me about sex or something like that, do you? Mother In a way, yes, we do. Boy Then theres no need for you to tell me anything, I lost my virginity years ago. Father We didnt want to talk about your sex life

Mother ... but ours. Boy What? Have you gone crazy? Im sorry, bit Im not interested at all in knowing what you get up to. Father What we want to tell you is related to the moment of your conception. Mother Do you know what coitus interruptus is? Father When we were young your mother and I made love and before I ejaculated I used to withdraw from her vagina... Boy Please ... Father And I covered her with sperm. Mother Especially on my tits. Boy Thats enough. Mother He still likes doing it. Father O.K. but thats not important, the thing is we werent using a condom and so that you didnt get pregnant, I had to withdraw and come outside. Boy I know perfectly well what coitus interruptus is! What the hell has this got to do with me? Mother Well, this is what we want to tell you: you are the result of a coitus interruptus that didnt work properly. He didnt react in time and he came inside me. Father Its understandable. Pause. Boy Well, Im not sure I wanted to know about this Wow Father Its important that you know everything. Boy I dont know if Ill be able to sleep imagining all that. father He wanted to be straight with you. Boy Wonderful... Mother Thats why we tried to have an abortion. Boy - What? Mother We didnt want to have you. Its normal. Boy Normal?

Mother You very nearly ended up in a plastic bowl in a third-rate hospital, it was a close thing. Boy Pardon? Father It was a great disappointment for your mother and me. You changed our lives and our plans completely. We wanted to go on working, building up the company without Mother Without any obstacles. Father Precisely. Boy And what happened? Father Your grandfather realised. You know how religious they are in Mums family. Mother It was impossible for me to escape in secret to a hospital. And I tried many times. Boy Great. Anything else? Mother I tried to have a miscarriage, but I ended up hurting my leg. Its not easy to lose a baby. Boy It isnt so easy to lose me, Mum, dont forget that you wanted to lose me. Father Were sorry but you have to understand that we wanted to tell you. Boy Of course, you couldnt keep quiet and be satisfied, could you? You had to turn tonight into a nightmare. Mother When you were just a few months old, I threw you into the swimming pool. Boy This still isnt over... Mother It was so frustrating to have you that I wanted to get rid of you any way I could. Father We think that your breathing problems are related to the swimming pool incident. Boy Its incredible. And youre telling me this now ... And how did I survive? Father Your grandfather. Again. He rescued you at the last moment. He stayed with you until you were about four years old. Boy How lucky, at least someone loved me.

Father Well, Xavi, in fact ... Mother No, no, I want to tell him that. When he died, we discovered that your grandfather had been abusing you sexually right from the beginning. He buggered you in a nasty way virtually every day. And he recorded it with a camera. Boy No, no. no. I cant accept that. Mother Do you remember anything about your grandfather? Boy At least he wanted me alive, didnt he? Mother But look at the reason why he wanted that... Boy You dont want me alive. Father But what do you expect us to say? Mother Telling the truth is our priority. Boy And havent I got a relative whos wanted to kill me for Christmas? Or isnt there an aunt living in the Colonies who wanted to torture me ? Mother What were telling you is very serious. Father Very. Boy And very useful. Now youve made me a better person. Mother Well, at least youll know why we killed you. Pause. Boy But Mum what are you saying? Father What you hear. Boy This a totally unnecessary joke. Mother You are the unnecessary joke. An unnecessary joke thats lasted 18 years. Boy What? Father We thought that when you were 18... perhaps it would be a suitable moment to . Well you know ... Boy But have I done something wrong? Mother You dont listen, do you?

Father Weve been thinking that the business of being parents has never completely satisfied us and whats more, the current economic situation isnt exactly the best, and Mother Dont give him any more reasons, theres no need. Father Yes, but everythings got to be said. And if the truth be told, you dont get very good marks. When you leave school... Mother If he leaves sometime... Father We know that youll have problems to find a job Boy But I could work in your company. Father But you wouldnt do it well. Youre the archetypal businessmans son who spends all day causing problems for the real workers Mother Youre hopeless, Xavier, and you know it, youre a perpetual waste of time... Father Thats going too far. Its quite simple, in a word, youre not profitable. Boy And why dont you let me leave? Father Somehow, we feel responsible. Mother If youre not profitable for us, then you wont be for anyone else. Father When the state went bankrupt and that burger chain helped pay off the debt, they opened the door to staff cuts like these. Boy Staff cuts? Mother Well today theres 3 of us, tomorrow morning we will be 2. Cuts. In. Staff. Boy Who do you think you are to threaten me?. Mother In fact you are nobody. You should never have been born, drawn breath, nor had a thought. Nothing.. Father Its quite simple: you shouldnt exist. Boy This is just amazing. Father You should think that thanks to us youve lived for slightly over 18 years. Mother Otherwise, now youd be a dried up sperm on the sheets and a coagulated ovule wrapped up in a used tampax.

Father You are quite simply nothing. Youre a mistake which is now going to be corrected. Boy This is horrible. I want to leave here right now. Boy makes as if to leave, and quite quickly. Father No, dont go. Mother Its a joke! Boy What? Father A joke! Father takes out a gun and kills him. They remain looking at him. Pause. Mother Perhaps somebody would like to fuck the corpse. A brief pause. Mother Provided they pay. Father We could make burgers from him and sell them. Mother Meat pies. Father - Perfect. Father and Mother remove their sons corpse, dragging it by the feet. Fade to darkness.

7. A dark night. A gloomy bar, lit in red. The noise of people. A young waitress is working while , on the other side of the bar counter, theres someone very similar to Dick Cheney, a man of well over 50 dressed in suit and tie. He was vice-president of the U.S.A. during the George Bush Jr. presidency and he is one of the richest, most powerful and influential people in the world. Waitress I dont want to be part of it. Dick What? What the hell did you say? Waitress Now you know. The waitress goes to the other end of the counter. Dick What? (A brief pause) Are you listening to me? Im waiting for a couple of friends. (A brief pause) Hey... Why wont you serve me a drink? (A brief pause) Is this a bar or what the hell is it? What kind of a crappy business is this? (A brief pause) Are you listening to me? The waitress comes over. Waitress I dont want to serve you a drink. Dick I dont want what? Do you know who the fuck I am? You know what my name and surname is, dont you? If right now I wanted to ...... I could arrange it so that nobody knew your name. (Pause.) With just a call. (A brief pause) Dick shows her his mobile phone. Dick First theyd start with you, you wouldnt arrive home. Theyd put you in a truck and theyd inject you with some shit which would make you lose consciousness then later, youd wake up and realize that theyd made you eat your own face raw. The eyes, the nose, the lips , everything. Believe me, nobody would recognize you. Youd beg them to kill you. (A brief pause.) And I could do it just like that. Ive done it on other occasions. (Pause.) With just a call. (A brief pause.) Afterwards I could arrange for your whole family to be wiped out. Normally we stick to parents, brothers and sisters, partners and children. But sometimes we also take care of close friends and associates. One after the other. Theyve got thousands of excuses to let them do it: illnesses which have to kept under control, dangerous terrorists... people dont wonder about where their neighbours have gone if you explain to them that they had a highly contagious disease (A brief pause.) And I could do it just like that. Ive done it on other occasions the next day nobody would know who you were. (A brief

pause.) One poor bitch in my company in Bagdad was raped by 7 of her bosses. Imagine what I could arrange to have done to you. (Pause.) Look. Ive only got to press this button to make the call. Just at that moment King Leopold the Second of Belgium (1835-1909) comes in the door, looking very happy. Hes dressed in uniform and has his prominent, characteristic beard. Leopold Hi everybody! Dick Leopold! Dick cheerfully goes up to him and hugs him. Dick Where were you, you old devil? Leopold Dying to get here and have a drink with you. Has Gregory arrived yet? Dick He must be as busy as usual... Leopold Hell tell us about it... What are you having? Dick Nothing. Leopold How come? Dick looks at the waitress. Dick This one here doesnt want to serve me a drink. Leopold What have you done to her, eh? Dick Nothing, I promise you. Leopold Lets sit done and then well see about that. Dick looks menacingly at the waitress, who remains motionless for a moment and then goes back to her work. Dick and Leopold sit down at a table. Dick How are the kids? Leopold All four of them are fine. You should come and see them soon. Clementine is beautiful, shes the apple of my eye... And little Leopold, well I dont know but I think hell be a great heir to the throne, you can tell. I feel really proud of them, you know? Dick I can just imagine. Leopold I dont want to sound old-fashioned but... As I get older... The more I really believe in the family. Dick I feel just the same way, my friend.

Leopold Its the cornerstone of our society. Dick, theres nothing else, without the family theres just chaos, no society can survive without it. Dick Its life, its love, its the home ... Its everything we fight for. When somebody contradicts you, think about it. Leopold There are only 2 things in which I believe as much as the family: the constitution and freedom Dick You should hear the way you speak... Its an honour to share these moments with you Leopold. Hows your business going? Do you go there yourself? Leopold Never. The Congo is far away and I cant stand travelling by ship. Whats more, I have to rule Belgium. I cant do all that at the same time. And what about you, how did the elections go? Dick Perfectly, like clockwork. Leopold But you lost... Dont try to fool me Dick No, weve got a black guy working for us, just as you did in the colonies like the Congo, thats all. Did you see who his sponsor is, who put the money behind him and his victory ? We did, Leopold, dont be mistaken. We never gamble with whats ours. Leopold A black guy in charge... It seems to me much too exotic. And dangerous. Dick Theres no risk, he himself knows whos really in charge. And what about your blacks, how are they? Leopold Theyve got me worried. Dick Whys that? Leopold They carry out these collective suicides. Im really worried about it. When some of them meet up, they stab each other using the tools for collecting rubber. This is causing the production to go down. What can we do to control them? Dick Fear. It always works. Leopold What do you suggest that I do? Dick Prepare it well and one day, make out that theyre attacking the most important buildings in the country and then you blame them. Youll be able to do what you like to who you like. Leopold I need something more practical, for them Belgium is too far away from the Congo. At the moment, so that they put more effort into their work, weve taken the workers wives as hostages

Dick I dont think itll work as well. (A brief pause.) Wed be accused of being sexist .. You know, that business of why the women and not the men... Leopold If we have to rape in order to demoralise them, its much better to do it to a woman. Because of all the pregnancies which come later... Dick Thats right, of course... Its difficult to get men pregnant... Leonard Dont discount it, some queers try it... Leopold and Dick laugh. Dick How many have you got? Leopold How many what? Queers? Dick No, you know... how many have you got already? Leopold Ahhh... Since we arrived in 1878 we must be getting on for about 10 million dead. But weve topped that figure by a long way if you count hands that have been cut off... We do that to the ones who dont collect enough rubber Dick Thats a lot... You beat us easily. Leopold What counts is the intention. And what about you? How many have you done in Iraq? Dick I dont know... One death more, one death less... They cant agree Leopold Tell me... Everythings fine Dick Being optimistic, a million and a half. But the situation in Iraq is not as favourable as the one you have in the Congo. Leopold It doesnt matter... It doesnt really matter whether there are more or less. The thing that really matters is what weve contributed to the lives of the men and women in these places. Dick Yes, of course... Pause. Dick is doubting. Leopold - Democracy. You should see what they were like before. Dick Much worse... Leopold Much! What do you mean... Dick Before we arrived, there wasnt any democracy in Iraq either.

Leopold Now they can vote for one of their own people to represent them Dick Provided that this person does exactly what we want. Leopold Of course! They have no ideas about how to rule themselves! For example, what will they do with their natural resources? Oil, rubber... Theyd waste it Dick The resources have to be in the hands of those who know how to manage them. Leopold Exactly, in 1884 I was a founding member of the International Society for the international abolition of savage traditions. All the main countries in the world were involved. Dick Perhaps we should take that up again now. Leopold It still exists. Now its called the UN. Dick When I see a Third World child I think... Arent they ashamed... to go on with this lack of culture? They are a bad example which should be got rid of. Leopold Dont forget that with the uranium that we mined in the Congo you were able to make the bombs which you used to destroy Japan. Dick I know, I know Progress cant be stopped. Leopold This word always confuses me. Dick Which one? Leopold Progress. Dick If it benefits you, then its progress, if it doesnt, then it isnt. Leopold You are definitely making progress. What assets have you got? Dick My oil company, the worlds number one oil supplier, according to the latest official figures, had an income of 18.300 million dollars. Leopold This time with those figures you win... Dick Yes, I have to admit it. These are prosperous times. They start laughing. Leopold How many of them have have had their hands cut off by you, you... Tell me... Dick You really are ...

They continue laughing. The waitress, who was passing by, remains frozen with fear when Leopold takes her hand. Leopold What can you get me, darling? Waitress Im sorry. Leopold Why? Waitress Im sorry. I dont want to serve you. Leopold Dont you want to serve us? Why? Waitress Because I know who you are. Dick laughs. Leopold And whats the problem? Waitress You are two of the greatest bastards in history. Leopold Wow! Did you hear that Dick? Dick Amazing. Waitress I have some ideals. You can do what you like, but in my bar youre not going to have a drink. Dick and Leopold start laughing. The waitress leaves. Dick Do you know what? Wed better leave. Here theyre not going to serve us and Gregory wont come, I can feel it. Leopold He must have problems in Rome. Dick Since he had this idea of starting the crusades during his papacy hes really busy. Leopold This desire to give equality and reason to the entire world means that he never gets a break, our Little Gregory 7th. Dick Its a good idea. I havent rejected the idea of copying his idea with China or India in the future. Leopold And Gregory seems so inoffensive when hes had a couple of whiskies Dick Yes, but here they wont let us have a drink... Leopold And if some day all our set-up changed? Dick What do you mean? Leopold Arent you afraid that ..? Its obvious that we still hold power and that cant change, it seems very obvious, but imagine for a

moment that some day people will rise up against us, that they end up throwing stones at our funeral procession ... Dick laughs Dick - Henry Kissinger, the man behind the coups dtat in Chile, Argentina, Cambodia, Laos, the Western Sahara and Uruguay, that bastard Henry Kissinger has the Nobel peace prize! The fucking Nobel peace prize! They both start laughing. While he laughs, Dick stares at the waitress, takes out his mobile again and signals to her. The Waitress doesnt know where to look, terrified, finally she makes a rude gesture with her middle finger. Waitress Get out of here! You fucking scum! Darkness.