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The Girlfriend Training Program

The Reference Guide VOLUME 1
2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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Introduction: Part 1
Introduction
Hey, it is Carlos Xuma here, and I want to welcome you to the program. We have got an exciting path ahead of us. This is one of the programs that I have been dying to do for years, but I really just need to hear from you guys that you really wanted to know all these, I guess, you call them un-politically correct things about relationships with women.
The funny thing is that most guys would not admit to it, but almost single day out there we would love to have that one special woman and be able to keep her for as long as you wanted, and thats the big problem with a lot of guys is we dont know the skills to keep a relationship like that going.
Well, in this program, we are going to cover from start to nish all of the attraction skills you need to have to make sure that you never lose a woman again. I know this is going to be a exciting for a lot of guys out there. We are also going to be covering things, everything from starting the relationship to keeping her to rejuvenating it to ending it, if we need to. So start to nish, we are going to have all the information in there and only the essential information that you need.
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This is one area that I have actually specialized in for a long time and I know it goes against the pickup artist persona, but I actually enjoy and love having long-term relationships with women and it is something that I have actually been able to, I wont say master because I dont think anybody ever really masters it, but to the degree that I can actually control and ensure that I am the one thats in control when it comes to the relationship. In other words, I am not the one who is at the mercy of the woman. I am not the one who is going dumped. I am not the person who is being yanked around on a chain all the time, and you are going to see, unfortunately, that most guys out there are.
Most guys are at the whims and mercies of the women in their relationships, and its not the way you want to do it and its not the way the woman wants it either. She does not want to lead the relationship; she wants YOU to lead it.
So we are going to talk about this with everything in there, but again Im just distilling it down to only the cold, hard facts that you need to be successful with a woman, long-term, short-term, whatever it may be, these are the things you need to know.
Im also going to go into a little bit about a guide to understanding women. So that you can understand how a womans psychology works within the context of relationship. Even within your friendships and your family, you are going to understand how women work to a very, very strong degree.
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We are also going to cover cheat-proong your relationship, which I know is a very big thing for guys, as well as how to win her back if you lost her, and that one is going to be a little bit controversial, so hang in there for that one.
So we are going to get started today with a little bit of an introduction. First of all, my background, what is my background with relationships? Well, I have had dozens of long-term relationships lasting from several months to several years. I have been through the gamut of human experience when it comes to relationships with women, and believe me, not all of them were good. A lot of them were very, very painful, but those were also the relationships that taught me the most about what women really want, about how to keep women, how to keep interested and attracted and how to not lose them.
Early on, I actually had a few women that dumped me, but for the last ten years or more, I have never had a woman dump or cheat on me and the reason is I have mastered certain skills in relationships that do not allow that to happen. So youre going to get this information from somebody who really does understand the dynamics of a relationship with a woman.
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I had many short-term relationships in between as well. Those are kind of counterpoints to the long-term relationships. When you get out of a longterm relationship, the last thing you need to be doing is looking for another long-term relationship. We are going to talk about that in the section later on as well.
What I found is that most of the self-help literature out there is geared towards the ideal, not the realistic for most people. This is the problem with most of the books you are going to nd on the bookshelves at Borders or Barnes & Nobles or any of those places. You can go on Amazon. They are all really good books and they tell you a lot of real good principles, but what they fail to recognize is that human beings are irrational, emotional creatures.
Yes, even you. Even men are very irrational when it comes to these things because we are involving a part of our brain that we dont really want to admit that we have to, and that is the emotional side of our brain.
You may recall from previous programs that Ive created that there is a three-part model to the brain. The rst part is:
The lizard brain thats the part of you that keeps your heart pumping, your lungs going, and if poke you with a stick, you either run or you ght, the ght or ight syndrome. It is the small little nugget of brain at the bottom of your brainstem.
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Emotional brain Evolving outside of the lizard brain is your emotional brain. They call this mammalian brain or the limbic brain. Its a part of your brain that has emotions that allows you to form long-term attachments and feel.
Neocortex Outside of the emotional brain is neocortex. Thats the intelligent part of your brain. Thats the rational thinking part that often comes in conict with the rest of your brain.
So the way this works is if I poke you with a stick, you either want to run or you want to ght. The emotional part of your brain interprets that, thats the next part of your brain that gets the signal and it gets pissed. Its like, Hey, why did you do that? Why did you poke me with that damn stick? Then the rational part of your brain is able to get part of the signal and it says, Oh, wait a minute, you poke with a stick because I was about to accidentally shock myself by touching the electric terminal. Thank you.
So you see how that interpretation goes? If you rely only on the basic interpretation, you either run or just ght the person that just saved your life. Lucky for us, weve got all three parts of our brain. The problem is we dont always engage all three, but as you will see there is a way to leverage the best parts of your brain for each duty that it needs to perform.
So now what we are going to do is we are going to talk a little bit more about what this program is about. What are we going to be talking about in the program?
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First of all, it is a guide to understanding women. You are going to get a lot of information here. Im not kidding you. There is a lot of really detailed information regarding how women work, how to understand them and use this understand in your relationships because without an understanding of women you will not survive a long-term relationship. It simply wont happen for you. If you stay with her or if you get married, you are going to end up in divorce or conict or separation and eventually its going to end and thats why you need to know these things.
You are going to learn how to keep the attraction going long term in the relationship. You are going to learn how to start a relationship. A lot of guys are not really savvy to what it takes to go from the dating stage to the long-term stage. We are going to talk about that.
How to avoid losing her to another guy, otherwise known as yes, her leaving you, dumping you or cheating on you.
How to restart or revive a relationship, if its going a little south on you, if its kind of becoming a little bit bland, if she seems like shes starting to lose interest, you want to be able to kick-start that back forward in gear, and believe me, thats a very important technique to understand in any relationship.
If you need to, you need to be the one to end the relationship, not her, and the most obvious reason is that the dumpee always worse than the dumper. You will never feel good being the person that got dumped, even if you were thinking about doing it, you are pissed because you didnt do it rst. So we are going to talk about how to end the relationship if you have to, as well as how to win her back in the end if needed.
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So what is a relationship in the context of what we are talking about in this program? Relationship is nding one person to explore and bond with for an undened period of time. It might be weeks, it might be forever, whatever that period of time may be. It is just nding that one person which you want to form a really strong bond with. Thats it, thats all you have to really know.
You can put aside the religious implications of having to get married or living together or any of that stuff. We are just talking about the connection between you and that person because all that other stuff is an outside, an outward trapping, if you will. It doesnt really pertain to the real connection you create with that person. Anybody can get married, but it doesnt they are in love, and as Im sure youve seen in your own life, it sure as hell doesnt mean that there is a real connection there.
Now, society is geared towards relationships. Here is the ugly, ugly truth. The ugly truth about relationship is that yes, our society is built around it because we essentially start it out as animals, and as animals we have to reproduce because if we dont reproduce our species would die out, our whole evolutionary aspect.
So random hook ups are simply not the baseline for society. Thats why it will be frowned upon. It will not be looked upon as being a positive thing for you to want to be a pickup artist. I dont think its bad. I think you need to have those skills early on so you can learn what you want from women,
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learn what it is thats going to work for you and be able to get through enough women to nd the right one for you, so those skills are necessary.
But lets face it, its not the norm for society. So there you go, those are the quick and easy denitions of what a relationship is and how we are going to dene it in the context of this program.
You can have your own denitions and this information will still work for you, unbelievably work for you. Now, the principle of truth, this is really important. This goes back to some of the earliest things Ive taught about relationships and about dealing with women. It doesnt matter if its shortterm pickups and hookups to long-term sex or whatever it is you want. The principle of truth always, always manages to be any equation.
The fact of the matter is that some things just are. There is no reason why, and you maybe tempted very often to ask yourself, Why is she doing this? Why is it have to be this way? Why, why, why? The fact is that there is no why. If you ght reality, its simply going to bite you on the ass because it is.
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Its like arguing with a thunder and lightning rainstorm. I can say, Why, oh why is this thunder and lightning happening? And I can go outside and say, I refuse to believe it. I refuse to acknowledge it. And you get struck by lightning and you are killed. Now, its just thinning the herd and that was stupid, but what is it teaching you? You cant argue with reality. It doesnt matter how much you are ghting against the thunder and lighting, its still will be thunder and lightning and it will still have the potential to hurt you.
I hope this is getting through on some level. What Im saying here is that women are a certain way and that way is different than you, and if you keep asking, Why they have to be that way? It doesnt seem logical. They are so irrational. They are so emotional. Why did she do that? I cant believe shes doing that. And believe me, I still do this from time to time. I still catch myself in this line of thinking of, Why? Why are women like this? Oh my God. Because its not my reality, you have to accept it and work with it, WORK WITH IT. Thats the important part.
I come from a martial arts background and I can tell you the most important thing you can learn in the martial arts eventually is not to block somebody or try and stop their punch by hitting them, its to not be there when the punch comes and step aside and let that energy pass by you, and its that skill that will make you successful in relationships.
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You have to accept and work with it the way that an artist accepts the nature of wood or clay, and he doesnt treat one like the other. It sounds kind of poetic and somewhat philosophical, but its very important. You dont see a sculptor that works with clay trying to shape and mold wood. They cant do it. They know that wood is a different substance, and the same thing, a woodworker would not try and chisel clay the same way. So you have to treat women differently than you might treat yourself for another guy, and you have to really recognize that there is an essential difference there.
We dont act like we should act. We act like we do act. Let me say that again, its very important. We dont act like we should. We act like we do. So women will act the way they do as irrational, as emotional. As angering as it may be to you, they will act the way they are going to act and there is nothing you can do about it. You have to deal with it.
So lets get that through our heads and really remind yourself that over and over and over again because it will save you a lot of heartache in the long run because the more you resist the way women are, the less success you will have with them.
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A Few Warnings A few warnings before we get into the deep part of this program. First of all, beware of the advice that falls back on vague or poorly understood principles like trust, giving and these New-Age-white-light-of-love type concepts. They are going to tell you about the way it should be. Human beings should be able to be together in bliss and harmony, and you should be able to experience this empowering embracing light of love. Im already getting sick just talking about it.
It doesnt work this way. Its simply does not work this way, and its one of the important myths that we are going to bust in this program because by busting this myth, you are going to be more successful with relationships. You could keep expecting that you are going to have as great New Age white light of glow and love about you when you are with a woman. If you expect that from her, you are going to be sorely disappointed and disillusioned, and as a result, you are probably going to ruin the relationship you have.
Remember, we are human beings. We make mistakes. We are fallible. We are very fallible, and there is one place that we are more fallible I think than anywhere else and thats in our relationships.
So as far as these concepts go with things like the giving, the trust, the respect, passion, letting go, communication, these are all great words, but
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they are very vague and they dont lead you to any great understanding about how relationships really work, so be careful about them. Now, I will use these terms but not vaguely. Im going to give them specics. Im going to give them more concrete understanding for you, so you are not going to be left going, Yeah, trust. What the hell is that?
So beware of the New Age trap. This is another big one I had to explain to guys. Be careful about New Agey thinking when it comes to relationships. The one example I want to give you is one that came from a seminar I just performed recently, and the guys said, How do you end a relationship on good terms with a woman? And Im using his words here, Because I always want to leave a woman feeling better about herself and being a better person than when I found her, and I just want to have that positive impact on her life. And I remember I was on a stage with somebody else at that time, we were looking and Im going, Forget it. You cant, dude. Thats the worst thing you can do. Its try to think that you can control and save other people from themselves. Be very careful about this.
There is a lot of New Agey principles that come into relationships that will give you the idea that you can somehow have this wonderful impact on other people. Yes, to some degree you can, but if you make this your goal with things like leaving a woman feeling good about the fact that you broke up with her, which doesnt happen.
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Im sorry, but emotions will be what emotions will be, and trying to do that will actually sabotage you in the long run. It will make you a wreck. It will make you one of those wimpy, wheezy little guys who doesnt understand. You will come in with a certain amount of understanding, but you will exit the game with a lot of disillusionment and pain. Trust me on this one.
We are going to talk a little bit more about some of the myths again later on the program, but I want to really warn you about that. Be careful about these New Age thinking processes.
This program will disillusion you in a good way. It is really important you understand this that you are going to get disillusioned and it an important part of the growth process when it comes to relationships. As you go through this phase of being disillusioned and then you become reeducated and then you nd new faith in relationships because you now understand how they really work as opposed to that uffy bullshit speak that most people talk about.
Most people, Im here to tell you this, yes, you. That most people out there do not have a freaking clue about how relationships work, so keep that in mind. Its really important.
The penalty for non-adherence to the principles Im going to teach you is she will eventually cheat on you and then she will leave you.
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I want you to keep this in your mind. This is a very painful thing for me to tell you, but I had to tell you this. If you dont follow the principles with what Im teaching you in this program, she will eventually cheat on you and she will eventually leave you.
One of the big myths out there is that women actually are the ones that are pure, the ones that dont cheat, and that guys are the ones that cheat. The fact of the matter is women cheat just as much as men. They are just damn good at hiding it. Its like a secret, subversive cult where if you are woman, you just know that you never speak of these things in public. So they have maintained a very pristine image, but unfortunately, its not true.
I know this is a painful thing to learn and its also a painful thing to believe, but if you use this in your head as motivation, you wont screw up like most guys do. Women will eventually cheat on you and leave you if you dont follow the right principles.
Im going to pull over our little screen here so you can see this. This is something I just pulled up because a lot of guys dont believe it until I actually showed it to them.
One of the myths out there, this is one of the ones that was on a popular site, Discovery Health. One of the myths is that it is usually men who initiates divorce proceedings.
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The fact of the matter is that two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women, and they say here that the recent study found that many of the reasons really have to do with the nature of the divorce laws.
For example, in most states, women have a good chance of receiving custody of the children, yada, yada, yada. Well, the honest to God truth is its because most men dont realize the relationship is over until its already over. The woman does and shes already preparing her exit visa and you are the one left holding the bag, actually holding the bag of money that you have to give to her because you are getting divorced.
So we are going to talk about that, too, how to handle the prospect of marriage in your life, too. Dark stuff we are going to be talking about, but thats one of the myths. You have to understand, there is a reason why women initiate most divorces, and we will get into that, too.
Some messages are going to repeat in this program, so I want you to pay attention to them. You are going to hear them over and over and over again, like the principle of truth we will repeat. Its true and it will come up in certain situations, and I want to emphasize them when they come up.
There will never be a substitute for critical thinking, so that part of the process is always going to be left up to you. I can give you some rules, some understanding of the process of keeping attraction going with a woman and avoiding a lot of the pain that most guys end up
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experiencing with women, but its up to you to use critical thinking to gure out where you are, critical thinking as opposed to emotional thinking. Im talking about the outside layer of brain, that neocortex logical part of you that can look at things objectively, and I want that part of you to override the emotional brain when its necessary.
So how do you get the most out of this program?

1. First of all, this is a reference tool. Come back to it frequently. Im
going to provide to you a version of this on MP3. You should be listening to it on your iPod or your phone or whatever it you are listening to. With audio programs like this on, you need to be listening to it regularly and reminding yourself of it. I nd listening to a program three times is a minimum. I get the most out of a program after I listen to it maybe ve or six times because you will learn. You will apply it in your life. You will come back to it and you will hear things that youve never heard before, and thats what is more important.
2. The exercises in this program will likely be real life for you. In other
words, you are not going to be able to practice a lot of the relationship stuff. You are going to have to use it in real-life situations, so get to work on using it. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you can use this stuff in a lot of different areas in your life.
3. Use the information you hear and then reect on your past and
current problems that you had and your patterns that youve experienced in your life.
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" " " You are going to see a lot of truth coming out of that. Past experience, past patterns that you have gone into with women and relationships will tell you a lot about you. Im going to repeat " this
probably several times in this program, too. My favorite " aying that I s created was, You will never learn more about " the context of a long-term " to learn more about " yourself than you will in
relationship. In other words, you are going
yourself in the context of a long-term relationship
than " anywhere else in your life and it will happen frequently for you.
4. Talk to men and women who are in relationships, validate the stuff
Im talking about. Im not asking you to just take what Im saying on faith, talk to guys and nd out for yourself if what Im saying is true. You will nd that it is true. Just be able to separate it from the bullshit that most guys bring up when they have to defend their position. When a guy is in a bad spot in a relationship, you are going to learn a lot about his character.
5. Be brutally real with yourself, brutally real. If you put on the
disillusionment goggles, you will suffer when it comes to relationship. There is no two ways about it. A lot of guys disillusion themselves about relationships and what love is and what they should be. And in the end, what they do is they kill themselves, emotionally and spiritually, because they were never really telling themselves the truth. We are going to be real on this program. I am not going to be assuming it. Im going to tell you exactly the way it is.
So thats how you get the most out of this program.
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A few disclaimers before we get started with the real meat here.
All means most. When I say all women do this, or all women do that, or all guys do this, what I really mean is most of us do this. Yes, there will always be exceptions to the rule, and if you try and pick it apart based on the exceptions, we will never get anywhere on this program. You have to understand that all just means most people.
Where there is extreme difculty in your life, I want you to seek help. Frankly, I cant. I am not a health professional. I am not a therapist. I do not have doctorate or a college degree in this area. I have taken classes and many, many years of experience but ultimately I am not a health care professional. So if there is something extreme in your life, you need to take care of that with a therapist or possibly a mental health care professional. Its very simple there.
Dont blame here if something doesnt work for you in one situation. With some of the stuff Im going to tell you, you are going to take and you are going to put into application but you may not be accurate in the way that you do it, and if thats the case, you may screw it up. So even if Im telling you the right thing to do, you might not apply it correctly, or for whatever reason, the woman is not as responsive to that particular strategy. Whatever reason that may be, just recognize one does not make a pattern and there are no black and whites. There are only grays, especially in the area of relationships, but Im going to give you the darkest and lightest shades.
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In other words, I will be able to give you the best concrete advice I can and give you the exceptions along the way, so just accept that. There is nothing but gray area in this area of relationships. Its your critical thinking ability, your intelligence, is going to tell you when a situation meets a certain criteria and needs to be addressed a certain way. Thats up to you. I cant take that away from you, and I wouldnt want to. So dont go into this thinking you can just be damn robot and just follow Carlos rules, youve got to be smart about it. Apply it correctly.
So there you go, that is a brief introduction to this program. If you have to even review this part, I would recommend you do that, but go into the next section which is Starting Relationships.
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Section 1: Starting Relationships!
I want to cover with you all of the essential ingredients for how to get it from the dating stage into the more extended dating phase where you dont have to worry about losing her to some other guy, and when you are in a certain territory at the start and you want to know how to kick-start it off into a more long term or permanent arrangement. front that those are more difcult to maintain. They are exponentially more difcult, but we will cover a little bit of that as we talk about how to Now, this could be with one woman, it could be with many women, if you are one of those guys that like multiple long-term relationships. I will tell you up start relationships.
Now, there is a lot of materials here, so we are going to move fairly quickly through some of it, but as well I want to make sure that we cover everything in detail. So we are going to start with, rst of all, the pros and cons of relationships. This is an important one because a lot of guys dont really think about both sides of this before they get themselves hooked up into a situation that they may or may not want to be in. So lets talk about the pros and cons.
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What are the pros of having a relationship?
There is stability. There is stability, and thats an important aspect of relationships I think that every guy gravitates to. We dont want the unstable, the constant having to go out and meet new women, and the unfortunate thing is a lot of guys get into relationships because they just want to avoid that area that they are just not that good at, which is being able to walk up and approach women and meet women.
I mean, a lot of guys, and I mean a lot, meaning about 80-90% of guys will actually get into relationships because they have no other skills. They nd a women nally that has some interest in them and they are not going to lose this one because God knows what it will take to earn affections and interest of another woman, Whew! I managed to get one. Ive got to hold on to her. Thats scarcity thinking and that will long term screw you because a lot of guys end up being with only the second or third woman that they sleep with sometimes will be the one that they actually end up marrying.
Thats not a good statistic because you need a lot more choices, not just sexually, just in relationships in terms of different women that you meet, youve got to know what different women are like to be able to choose one effectively. So stability is one of the big pros for having relationship. Youve got a stable relationship, you feel like you have ground under your
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feet. You feel much more prepared and able to to take on life. Youve got a partner.
Another pro is the foundation for future growth. A relationship is an awesome place to use as an anchor for you to grow and to experience other parts of life, to take on new things because youve got this one home-base of stable emotional roots for you to come back to. Thats a great way to use relationships, by the way. Its one that I encourage guys to use all the time.
Another pro is the connections that you form with another person. There is really nothing like that, that feeling of sharing your emotions, your experience. What a lot of people talk about when they talk about relationships is this need we have to share the pains, the joys and just to share a life with somebody else kind of validates your existence here. A solitary existence is not the way we were meant to be as far as humans.
Another pro is you are able to build a family. You are able to have a woman and then you can have children with her. You can build a family. Its something that a lot of guys I know actually do enjoy the thought of. Again, with guys we thought of as being the solitary go-out-and-just-bangwomen types, but honestly we all, at some point, have this urge to settle down, and I really dont like that term, by the way, but I use it for the sake of familiarity because we want to build a family and build a stable foundation.
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A relationship also facilitates, again, tremendous growth. What I was talking about before, you are not going to learn more or grow more than you will in the context of a long-term relationship. Your personal growth is going to be fueled by your need to get over conicts, work things out, get through the disagreements, handle incompatibilities and inconsistencies in your relationship. There are a lot of things you are going to learn by virtue of just being there in the relationship, and they are also very, very important. A lot of people I know I would probably not be friends with if they hadnt gotten married or gotten into a very long-term relationship with somebody because they will be just dicks. I cant think of any better way to say it. They wouldnt have worked out a lot of the kinks of understanding how to be with another person, how to be a little bit more seless instead of selsh.
So those are some of the pros of being in a relationship.
What are some of the cons?
Well, you may expect this list to be huge, but its not as much as you might think. There is somewhat of a natural conspiracy that societys expectation is that you get into a relationship. The unfortunate thing is that they would like you to begin the relationship far earlier than you probably need to, so keep that in mind. You dont need to be in a relationship until you are ready to be in one.
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Long-term relationships work against your sexual nature as a man. It is a fact that men are much more built for spreading our seed as opposed to staying with one person. Its just a natural fact of evolutionary biomechanics, and all that stuff. It all comes together in the fact that men are built to procreate with as many different people as possible, and the reason being, again, is evolutionary concept about how we have more diversity in our genes, how we ensure the survival of our species, yada, yada, yada. Its doesnt matter.
What I want you to understand is that it just doesnt matter. Women will try and make you feel bad about the fact that you have a natural aversion to monogamy, and this is something to be careful of because it can trick you into a relationship you dont want to have. Society again has a little bit of a conspiracy against us in that they present relationships as being a necessary part of our life. You shouldnt be with more than one woman, especially at the same time, Whats the matter with you, you bad man? You dog, you cheater, you abuser, you user. And what is underneath all of that? And this is really a very ne sub-text and its very controversial, but underneath all of that is you rapist and its a horrible nasty thing you have to say, but this is what men have to ght every single day in terms of perception.
So recognize that it does work against your sexual nature. You are naturally built to procreate with many women and thats not a bad thing, no matter what any religion may tell, and I have my own personal opinions on that but Ill keep to myself.
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Religions may tell you this as well, and again it all forms kind of a subversive control of you and you have to be aware of that. Most things that are created in society are built to control other people, so there is a certain amount of a pecking order built into our world.
It requires creativity. This is another one of those cons about relationships that a lot of guys may not to admit that its there. You really have to be creative to keep things interesting and to keep her interested. You are going to have to put in some work.
Now, thats not a surprise to you, is it? I mean, you didnt come into this program thinking you are going to be able to just breeze through a relationship and be scot free without having to put any effort in, did you?
Well, trust me, the kind of effort you put in once you understand what effort you need to put in is vastly different than the guys who are just winging it and working their asses off trying to keep a relationship going. Most of them dont have a clue and thats where you are going to do better. Yes, you will have to put in a little bit of energy, but it wont be as exhausting as it will be for the guys that just dont have a clue.
Its also easy to fall into a rut and then rely on your relationship too much, and this is why I think most guys are the ones who the women initiate a divorce on because the guy is much more reliant and dependent on a relationship than the woman is. The fact of the matter is that guys fall into
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this rut very easily when they are more solitary. We dont have the same kind of support systems that women do, so its much easier for women to walk out of a relationship, especially if she determines it as bad for her.
There are many other pros and cons here, but I wanted to point out some of the bigger ones, so that you are aware that getting into a relationship with a woman is not something you should be taking on whim.
So what is love?
Love is that thing we are looking for out there, isnt it? We want to nd a woman to fall in love with, to be in love with, to have a loving relationship. Love, love, love, love. No, Im not going to sing any Beatles here.
Love is really a biochemical reaction. This is important to understand because, again, as humans we like to believe that we are rationally in control of our lives. We want to believe that we can control our thinking and our emotions, and we can but were not. Most people do not control themselves.
Love is a biochemical process, and this is again, this is more evolutionary science for you, maybe more than you want to know, but short term biochemically what happens is when you nd a woman that you are attracted to, you bio-releases chemicals that are literally stronger than
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crack cocaine. It gives you that high, that sense of euphoria that is like nothing else.
Im sure you have experienced this, I have. Its an incredible experience and its one that you dont want to end, and thats the part that starts the addiction because after a little while of this, you no longer want to be alone. You want to be with this woman, What has come over me? Whats going on? I dont want to stay home and play the PlayStation anymore. I want to go out and I want to be with this woman.
Well, its Natures way of bonding you to her, so that you will stick with her long enough for her to have a successful procreation, have a kid and you will be around to provide for it. It sounds kind of clinical, scientic, but its real.
Long term, those feelings change and they change subtly and the chemicals in your brain actually change subtly from the endorphins and the dopamine and all things that get released. By the way, this is all stuff you can look up readily, whether its online or getting a good book about it, and I can recommend a few to you.
Long term what happens in a relationship is it turns into more like a heroine addiction. Now, for those of you that arent druggies, Im not a druggie. For those of you that may not be familiar with how this works, crack cocaine is intense in its effects and its very devastating.
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Its very powerful. Heroine, on the other hand, is a much more slow burn. It makes you feel good kind of on a consistent level to a certain degree, but when that feeling or that drug is removed, you go through intense withdrawal, and its the same thing. A guy can be in a relationship with a woman and not feel those highs of really being, Wow! This is fantastic. Because it does change, it loses a little bit of that.
What will happen later on is if hes been in a relationship or marriage with a woman for several years and then she leaves him or they break up for whatever reason, he feels it and he doesnt even realized it until hes out of it. Hes like, Oh my God, this is awful. He feels the devastating impact. Thats the long-term effect.
Most of those are biochemical reactions in his head. You are not logically in control of this stuff. Your rational mind would probably tell you, What? You want me to stay with one woman, sex with one woman for the rest of my life? Are you out of your mind? Can you get the idea now on how your brain has to trick you a little bit?
Its a mating imperative. Basically it makes it possible for us to create kids and force you to stick with them long enough that something positive might come out of the whole affair. So biochemically thats what love is, and I know this can be disillusionment for a lot of guys out there, but thats the reality of whats going on in your brain. Its an emotional response but its also a chemical response that you are not aware of.
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Why is it so damn hard to stop the downhill slide, this falling in love. Well, it is literally an addiction process in your brain. Its sometimes called love addiction because we do get addicted with that rush. There are people out there, and I was one for a short time, that would get addicted to the feeling of being addicted to a woman. Its hard to explain, but you just want this feeling. You want that rush, you want that jolt of energy and motivation you get from having a woman thats interested in you and you are interested in her. You are hot for each other. You are having this wild, crazy monkey sex and it just feels great, right?
Well, ultimately that becomes an addiction itself. You become addicted to that feeling and its not easy to see why. Its a biochemical thing. So we are going to lose a little bit of the romantic shine in this program because I need you to see through to what love and relationships are really about, so that you dont get screwed so that women dont leave you or cheat on you or cause any of the immense amount of pain that they can cause for you.
Lose a little bit of this romantic aspect. You have to be a realist up front, so that you can risk letting go later on. In other words, right when those chemicals are hitting you like crack cocaine, you need to be in control. You need to be holding the reins on this poppy, and if you are not, you are going to be in trouble.
The most important buying decision of your life is the woman that you choose to be with. Let me say that again, the most important buying
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decision you are going to make in your life is the woman that you are going to be with over the long term because she will either enable a wonderful life or she will cause you crushing misery. Trust me on this one. Its very, very important, so choose wisely.
I am going to give you specic criteria that you need to look for in a woman. Ive got some guest speakers on this topic as well and we are going to talk about specic things you are going to be looking and specic things you need to avoid.
Structure of Relationship
Now, lets move on to the next part here. Lets talk about structure. What is the structure of relationships? Well, I work within my own model here. I created this model called Find, Connect, and Keep.
What we will be talking about in this program is a little bit of the connect, but a lot of the keep, the latter part of it. The nd and connect part, for the most part, had been covered in almost all of my other programs. We will not going to go into detail here. I am not going to talk about approaching women. I know that approaching women is the number one topic for most guys, but here is the sad fact, approaching women gets you nowhere if you cant keep her. Thats what we are talking about here, the Big Keep.
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So, thats the structure of a relationship, its nding a woman that you can connect with, connecting with her and then learning the skills to keep her over the long term.
The guiding principles of relationships and starting relationships that I want you to follow:
Remember that there is no such thing as forever when it comes to relationships. There is only until it serves you, or it does not serve you. You stay in the relationship for as long as it benets you AND HER, not or her and they are not forever. So dont think in terms of forever when it comes to relationships. Its another romantic concept we have to let go of.
Dont become dependent on the security of a relationship. There is no security in a relationship. Thats the fact of the matter. The reality is that a woman can leave you at any time for any reason and you, my friend, cannot control that. Well, most men cant control it. You are going to learn how to control to a certain degree in this program, but the ultimate truth is, we cannot control another human being. Something wild can happen and her wires might get fried and she decides she wants to go off to Bolivia to live with some woman and she has been a closet lesbian most of her life. Im creating the craziest shit here, but you know what happens. It will happen and eventually you are going to wonder, What the hell happened? Well, dont become dependent on the relationship to keep you aoat. If you do, if something happens, if, if, if, you are going to be in a bad and troubled boat.
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" " " I think the boats name is Titanic, if it happens to you and I dont want you to be there. I dont want you to be the one running around on the deck looking for a life boat when there are none.
How men become destroyed by divorce? Well, Ill give you a statistic. More than two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women. There is this pattern that men fall into, and Im not go into detail here, but the pattern is basically where a guy lets himself fall into a relationship mostly for the security, mostly because he does not know how maybe to get the woman he really wants, so he takes what he can get. He settles and then he fails to put in the effort and the energy. The woman becomes more disillusioned and before he knows it, he thinks things are going along great, even if it is good for him, and eventually she says, I dont know if this is working out. I need to nd myself. I need to be free. And she packs her bags and trucks on out that door. Thats, again, something that should never happen to you when you learn whats going to covered here.
Men are destroyed by divorce more than women because men have fewer support systems. They have less coping skills with those sorts of things. Women are much, much more capable. Even though they show a lot of emotions, they are much more capable at managing them and handling them than the men are. So when a guy goes into that heroine addiction phase of relationships, he doesnt understand how to handle it when he has to go back to withdrawal. So watch out for the pattern. The pattern is very frequent with guys and we have to avoid it.
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When the relationship actually starts? Well, in general, if you are still dating a woman after two months and there is forward movement, then you probably have a relationship going. If things are still progressing after two months and you are dating her and you are seeing her regularly, congratulations, my friend, youve got yourself a relationship, whether you wanted it or not, you do.
In most cases, guys do want it. Once they nd a woman thats pretty cool and there are no big red ags, hey, you want to keep this thing moving forward. If you are wondering if you have a relationship, ask if she or you would be hurt if it ended right now. If there will be a good amount of hurt there and I dont mean just, Oh, that sucks. No, I mean some pain, with some distinct pain, well, then chances are youve got a relationship because there is emotional bonding that has happened there, so that is a good easy criteria for you to ask when you want to know, Hey, am I in a relationship? Thats the one.
Its very important to understand, a relationship does not need to be declared by you. What do I mean by that? Well, why should a relationship not be needed to be declared? You dont need to be the guy that says, Hey, I want to have a long-term relationship with you. I want to date you long term, whatever you want to say. You dont have to say, Lets have a relationship. It will happen naturally on its own.
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In fact, you dont want to be the one to say it. Im going to cover the reasons why in a little bit. I dont want to tell you yet, but its really important. Think about it between now and then. Why is it that you dont need to be the one that declares or establishes a relationship with you and this woman you are with? We are going to talk about that, but you dont need to do it. Just know that you dont, and we will talk about more why in a bit.
Lets talk about the most important attitude. The most important attitude in a relationship is that you choose a relationship you do not need it. Another one you should be writing down, by the way, if you are taking notes which should be in this program, you choose the relationship. You do not need the relationship. You control it. You stay because you want her, not because you are afraid of the pain of being alone or having to nd another woman or any of that crap. Recognize that you stay because you want her, not because you are afraid of the pain of not wanting or not having her. This is another common trap that we fall into. Dont let it happen to you.
Another attitudinal aspect to understand is you dont want to settle below your standards. We are going to establish some standards for you in this program. You are going to learn exactly what it is you want in a woman so that you never have settle. You dont have to feel like, Oh, shes okay. Shell do.
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This is a tee-shirt that my friend Adam designed and on the front is a bride and a groom, and the bride is saying, I do. And the groom is saying, Shell do. And you dont want to have that happen. You dont have a woman that is somebody you are just settling for thats below what you want.
If there is a part of you that could walk away and deal with the fact that you are leaving a relationship behind, but you choose to stay anyways because you really do want her and you want this relationship, then you are probably in the right zone for a relationship.
It sounds kind of odd to say it that way, but it really is true. If you could nd yourself leaving this relationship willingly, walking away from it, it will cause you some pain. Yes, it would be a little difcult, but if you could do that and still decide you want to stay, you are in the right place for a relationship because you are not going to be tempted by a lot of things you would be tempted by otherwise and you wont be drawn into any of the traps and disillusionments.
There is this thing called the Serenity Prayer, you may have heard this. Let me read it literally here. Ill put it up, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. This actually comes from somebody named Reinhold Neibuhr. I guess thats the originator of this and there is
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more to it actually. Its more of a religious prayer, but that rst part of it, its called the Serenity prayer.
It is used frequently because its actually really important. You do need to know that there are certain things you cannot change. There are certain things you can change and you have to have the ability or belief in yourself and the courage to be able to do it, and knowing the difference between the two is probably the wisest aspect of any man, knowing what you can and cant change. So keep that in mind in your relationships.
You really cant change a person, but you can lead them in the right direction. You can help them get there, but you cant change them, not directly. So shape by example. There is a three-step method. My friend explained to me how he handles relationships. I want to share this with you. Its a very powerful formula if you will and you can use this at any point in a relationship.
Explain what it is you want. If there is an area of conict or tension in a relationship like shes not cleaning the house like you want her to. You wanted her to keep the house clean, maybe you area guylike me and you like a clean house. Number one is to explain what it is you want. Tell her what your expectations are, You know what, honey? Id like to really keep this house clean, and I want to see if we can do that together as a team?
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Demonstrate by doing it. You do it and you show her exactly what it is you do, so that she sees it in action. She sees you doing it. Its just not words.
Award her when she actually does what it is you want her to do. When she cleans the house, you recognize it. Always recognize something if you want her to repeat, so you say, Honey, awesome! Im glad you are helping me out keeping this place clean. It makes me so much happier that we can do that together.
Boom! Thats the three-step method. If you use this in every area of your relationship, you are going to nd that we removed a lot of conict and tension and you will motivate her correctly. You cannot motivate somebody consistently with a stick. By the stick, I mean the stick that you hit them with, the punishment that you are throwing behind them, If you dont clean this house, damn it, Im leaving. That doesnt work quite as well as this does.
Remember, punitive measures create this atmosphere of resentment where they wont want to help you out. They wont want to work with you on anything. She is just going to do it out of spite, just because she can, and you dont want to set up that kind of atmosphere. So its really important, review these three steps.

Explain what you want and what your expectations are. Demonstrate what it is by doing it, so she sees it in action. Reward what she does when she does what you want.
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Remember that punitive measures, these things we do to punish somebody for not doing what we want, they dont work. This is really the method for getting somebody to change or to go in the direction you want them to go in. Remember that. Its an awesome powerful method.
So there you go, that is a little bit about the important attitude in a relationship and that most important attitude again is that you are choosing to be in a relationship for your own reasons, for the relationship itself, not because you are so tied up in the emotions or that you are afraid of losing the relationship. You are there because you want to be. Thats really important.
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Hi, welcome back. Were going to talk about discovering your own needs next. This is going to be another active area participation on your part because were going to gure out what it is you really need here. An active exercise I want you to take, I want you to get out your journal, and whether you do it now, if youre listening to this in your car, obviously do it later on. If youre watching this right now, you should be stopping the program, pausing. If you are just going straight through from start to nish, yes, youll get some understanding on enlightenment, but the real enlightenment comes from doing the things that I tell you to do throughout the course of the program.
Number one is I want you to list all of your attitudes about relationships that you have right now. List all of them out. I did this early on, and Ill tell you, it was really an eye opener for me because I discovered how it is I really felt about relationships.

What it is I really felt about them? What do you think works? What do you think doesnt work in a relationship? What it is you think you want? What it is you dont think you want in a relationship? What are your attitudes about relationships in general? What relationships have you experienced? What relationships have you seen like between your parents?
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A really big one is your parents relationship because it will shape and mold the way you treat your own.
So list your attitudes about relationships. Everything you can think of. I mean Im leaving this wide open for you primarily because its kind of a therapeutic tool. Its like me asking you, So tell me how you feel about relationships. And then you just start to blabber around at the mouth about how you feel about them. Youre going to have more insights just by hearing yourself talk or writing it down than you will any other way I can possibly tell you about, so list those attitudes. Youre going to nd ones that will make you go, "Huh, they really feel that way about relationships?"
And you might nd that youre in a place right now where you know that there are some things about relationships you need to get over. One of the ones that I gured out from my own list of attitudes was I had the attitude of, Well, the woman is in control. And I thought to myself, Whoa! Dude, that sucks." I dont honestly think I want to get into a relationship where I believe that, but its what I do believe, so no wonder Im having so much problems or so many problems in the relationships I have. It is because Ive been having this misplaced belief that woman are the ones in control. I need to get that control back before I get into another relationship. Do you see how it goes? So list your attitudes about relationships.
List your conicting emotions and be aware of them because we do have conicting emotions. At one hand, were attracted to woman.
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We love women. On the other hand, we may resent the amount of sexual control that they hold. We may resent the fact that maybe a past girlfriend wielded that control over sex to manipulate the relationship. We may also resent the fact that women are more emotional as men and we dont have the skills or the patience sometimes to deal with them.
List the conicting emotions that you have about it, the ones that works against your ability to put in the effort for a relationship. Be aware of these along the way. The more aware you are, and this is a big part of relationship success, by the way, is knowing how you are and how your own identity gets in the way, because thats really what a relationship does.
When we get into a conict, what we are talking about are two separate identities that are clashing. I have beliefs. She has beliefs. Sometimes they dont match, so were trying to put this puzzle together and it wont go together like two pieces that wont quite t. But they do t if you turn them a little bit. Were just avoiding some of the interfacing between our belief systems, our prejudices, whatever.
Those conicting areas have to be at least resolved and by understanding yourself, youll be way ahead of the game when it comes to resolving conicts. Because let me tell you, conicts are going to happen in a relationship no matter what you do. If you have the skills though to manage them, and this is something I worked really hard on and Ive got a really clear cut set of skills that Im going to teach you, when you learn
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these skills I will teach you in handling conicts and handling arguments and how to get past them with women, youre going to nd your life is so much easier. Not just with women even, with everybody, because the same things happen in arguments with friends, your family, the people you work with, its all the same. There is a little bit more emotional content when it comes to a relationship.
List your past patterns regarding relationships. What are the things that happen to you typically in relationships? Now, if you havent had a lot of relationships, its okay. Break down what you have experienced, but for the most part, what are your past patterns and how will you mange this when it comes up again, because it will.
If you know that after three months, youre going to get tired of a woman, what are you going to do to maintain that relationship? Now, what do you want long term? Have you gured out the patterns youve got in your past that may eventually come up and probably will come up, how are you going to deal with those? Well, the best thing to think of is what is it you want, long term in a relationship? You have to have two lists. You have to have your must-haves and you have to have your nice-to-haves.
Your must haves are the things you absolutely think you have to have in a relationship or its not going to work for you.
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You must have sex. You must have fun. You must have a common interest in movies. You must have the ability to eat good food together.
These are things that are important to certain people and you must have. There are some universal must haves which every relationship needs.
And then there are some nice-to-haves. The things we would like to have but maybe arent necessary to keep a relationship going. This usually fall into common interest categories like, Well, it would be nice if she was interested in the same kind of books that I read. Youve got to recognize that theres a difference there. And youre going to change this list because you have a frame of comparison.
You start out with this list, and then you date many women. Thats the frame of comparison, date a lot of women, the skills that I teach you is in terms of attraction and the ability to meet and be with many women. And youre going to have an idea of, "You know what? I thought it was important if she had the same kind of taste that I did in music, but honestly no. Im pretty wide open myself when it comes to music, so Id be more amenable to listening to her music than other way around. It doesnt really matter to me. Great, you can move it from must-have to nice-to-have, or even take it off your list entirely.
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But you dont gure this out until you have a relationship to gure it out in.
So lets get then into the next. It will evolve. Your list will evolve. Your needs will evolve and your understanding will evolve for the rest of your life. If you think what you want now is seven stone and will never change, please, it goes right along that saying, Never say never. Never say always, and never say never because it will change. Your needs will change, and youll discover that, You know what? Im lightening up a little bit. Im not such a hard ass about this or that, and thats way I am. I think most guys get that way when they nally realized, Do you know what? Its not that big deal. So you may become unglued from some of your own needs or your own desires as you get older or just wiser or more experienced.
And, can you be uncomfortable with the uncertainty of relationships as part of your needs? Can you yourself, Im asking the rest of you right now, yes, you, can you be comfortable in this whole uncertainty that youre going to have over relationships? Because the fact that matter is that all relationships come without a guarantee. In other words, there are no relationships that are guaranteed. None, absolutely none, nothing is guaranteed in a relationship.
Ultimately, you can never be completely secure that this person is going to be with you. You can never be. You may want to be, but when you fall back on that reliance thats you usually when things start going south.
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You must always be an independent entity of a man. You must always have the ability to go on and carry on no matter what happens to you in life. You must be a survivor. And to be a survivor you must realize that maybe this woman wont be with you for the rest of your life, maybe.
You cant control another person. You can never control another person. You can only choose them with a critical eye. If you have a critical eye, you can choose the right person up front, but you dont have to change them later on. Trust me. This is a lot better than the other way around. If you choose a woman hoping to change her into what you want, no, my friend, you are in for a world of hurt or opening a hurt locker, as they say.
Whatever relationship you get is going to have to be temporary, youre going to be ne. If you can deal with that, thats great. If you have to have this woman waiting for the rest of your life because thats what your emotions tell you and thats what your insecurity tells you, youre going to have a lot more problems in a long run. You got to get rid of that insecurity. Youve got to realize that no matter what, no relationship comes with a guarantee.
Relationships should also not be a crutch for your own insecurities. In other words, you dont get into a relationship to make you feel better about yourself because youre an insecure person. It doesnt work that way. If anything, your insecurities will make that relationship almost intolerable. Again, recognize that relationships do not cure anything.
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They dont solve anything. Theyre not meant to x another part of your life. If you dont come into a relationship whole, youre not going to have a whole relationship. It sounds like one of those clever New Agey things out of a book, isnt it? But its true.
There is a saying, you know, one plus one makes one in a relationship with one person plus one person makes one person, and thats a grand romantic concept. But again, its only myth. Its not real. One plus one makes three and this is my addition, and this is my math, the new math of relationships. One person plus one person means you have two people and it also creates a third entity which is this relationship thing when they come together. But you should still be separate individual, whole and secure people.
If you come in not whole, youre going to have a lot of issues and insecurities that are going to come up within the relationship. And you dont want have to work them out that way. But do you know what? They can also work for you too.
So there you go. Can you be certain or comfortable in the uncertainty of relationships because all relationships are uncertain. Dont think they are saving grace. Dont think that they are going to be the life boat to save you from your own problems or your own insecurities, or your own issues in life. They wont do it.
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So discovering your needs. Choosing well, I want to cover this again. Im going to cover one of the bonuses on this program. But for now, lets talk about how to choose a woman well and this is a big topic, let me tell you. First of all, screen for a good mother material. What do I mean by that? You want to screen rst the person, the woman that will be a good mother to your children because ultimately thats what she could be. Trust me, man. All takes is one broken river, one forgotten pill, and youre a dad.
Now, if that could happen so easily, and it can, it can happen way easily, especially if she works to engineer that situation, and believe me, that happen, too, youve got to be willing to live with the repercussions. Is this the woman that you would want to have as the mother of your children? Seriously ask yourself that question because thats the most important relationship that any child has is with his mother or her mother and not to put down what dads do, believe me, but its there, it is a very distinct relationship.
So what do you screen for? She should be a nurturer. These are concrete things, by the way, so you should be writing these down. These are things you need to look for. The woman that you chose in your life, these are must-haves. They are non-negotiables.

She should be a nurturer, a nurturing personality. She has to have good communications skills. Shes got to be able to tell you whats going on in her life. Not keep it to some cryptic, enigmatic, weird thing thats going on only in her head and not be
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able to get it over to you so that you can help her with it. Shes got to be able to communicate with you. Without communications, you will not be able to handle a relationship.
She has goals. She has a clear idea of the future, at least some idea where shes going on life. If shes completely oating out there with no idea, its going to be tough. Youre going to nd that she could fall onto anything. And as long as you provide that direction, this is only one thats could be overcome, by the way, if you provide that direction, and its what she genuinely wants, not because shes just following along. If she wants to go along with it, thats great. And you can provide her those goals and a path. Ive seen a lot of guys do it.
She should be responsible. If you were to go away for a week and you came back, and lets just say she did have your child, Im getting way out in the future here. This is maybe way more commitment than you are willing to make at this point, but lets just say it because its important to understand. We are screening for a good mother material after all. Is she going to be a responsible? And then you are going to come back and nd the house a wreck. Is she cleaning? Is she keeping up with things? Is she a responsible person? Can she handle the necessary day-to-day responsibilities of living? Or is she just another whacked-out teenager in a womans body? Because trust me, there are a lot of women like this, too, a lot of women. Just as many men, just as many women have failed to grow up as anybody else. So this is another key criteria, its the responsibility level that she has. Youve got to be able to trust her on
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a certain level to be responsible for herself, for you, for her child. Can you see how this goes?
Is she cool under stress or does she freaks out? Does she lose it? Does she have her own level of emotional control and ability to talk herself down and cope? Thats what really this comes down to, can she cope, or is she going to be one of those whacked-out women that look for relief and just about every other thing in her life? Is she going to look for her sanity in something else, or is she got to nd it within herself? Its pretty important.
And above all, is she loyal? Does she stick with you? Does she follow through on what she says? Does she have character? I mean thats another part of this. Loyalty and her character. Loyalty is what youre looking for because you dont want a woman thats going to bale or jump ship at the rst opportunity. Shes got to be loyal to you.
So, that are some of the key criteria that youre looking for when youre screening for good mother material.
Attracting the right kind woman up front, thats what its all about. Save yourself months and years, time and energy by avoiding the poisonous woman that are out there, and trust me, there are a lot of them. Im going to tell you about specic ones you needed to avoid, the specic poison women you need to avoid.
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All relationship problems and breakups stem from choosing a wrong woman at the start. Let me say that again, pretty much all relationships, and again, remember all means most, all relationship problems and breakups stem from choosing the wrong woman at the start, from choosing poorly. Thats why its so important to get this criteria down pat now while you still can while your mind is clear before those beautiful boobies and nice jiggly ass get you all caught up in it. You start having sex, the chemical starts getting released and youre thinking is distorted. Thats right, you will be brainwashed by that thing. It happens.
Here are some bad mom indicators. Weve talked about the good mother material. Here are some bad indicators to watch out for.
Is she self-destructive? Is she a party girl or she just cant seem to control herself and she
winds up with her head face down in the toilet half the time. This is a kind of a younger thing, but this criteria, you can see it later on in life too.
If she doesnt have good self-preservation mechanism, you cant
control that and then youre going to have tough time with kids. Maybe she doesnt want kids or she tries to hide the fact that she does or doesnt want kids, and youve got to look at that. Some women will hide the fact, by the way, because theyre embarrassed about it. Its a common known thing that women want kids. Most women want kids, and she might be afraid that that fact will scare you off, so she may hide it. Beware of that. But if she doesnt want kids, that is kind of a bad mom indicator.
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If its a real indication that she doesnt want kids and shes not young
and shes not in her teens or early 20s or any of that and shes getting a little bit up there and she still doesnt want kids, well, I mean you can ask yourself that question, do I want kids? Maybe I dont. Maybe I do want a woman that doesnt want kids. In which case that becomes okay. But for the most part, most women want kids, so if she doesnt, youve got to ask yourself why.
Shes a gold-digger. Shes materialistic. This is a bad, Bob. If shes
a goal-digger and she is purely into materialism, thats going to be a bad indicator and bodes poorly for your relationship.
Is she selsh? You cant have that. Sorry, my friend. In women, its
particularly destructive to a relationship because a womans nature is to nurture. And if she doesnt have that nature and she only nurtures herself, shes selsh. And what do you think shes going to do for you? Do you think shes going to be asking you if you want a massage or if shes going to dote on you? If she just going to give you attention that you need or your kids?
Is she obsessed with youth and vanity? I see this on a lot in women.
Have you ever seen those older women who are dressing way too young? Theyre obsessed with their youth and vanity thinking that their appearance is all theyve got. I mean appearance is really important, but women, dont get me wrong on that. I think sometimes its actually, we talk it down but theyre really is important. At the same time, obsessing with it, not a good sign.
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Shes not a nurturer or impatient and poorly tempered. I talked
about this actually before. The overall nurturing aspect you want to have, but you can also tell when shes not a nurturer. But if she is impatient and doesnt have a good temper, thats something to watch out for. I wouldnt want her on my kids. Maybe shes neurotic. She is a perfectionist or critical. Not good again. Shes going to be picking at you. Shes going to drive you crazy. Shes going to be a nagger. Shes going to drive your nuts. Just bad indicators over all and imagine what the kids are going to turn out like after that.
Violent tendencies. Youre going to see this in women too. Women
do have violent tendencies of their own. It just comes out in some very sneaky and passive ways at times. Women socially are cultured to be non-confrontational, non-violent, but they do have the ability to be violent. Why do you think women get off and watching men ght in the ring? Thats just as much a turn on for women as anything else. They kind of like carelessly live through that kind of conict. So if she has an overly violent tendency. Watch out. You could be looking at a possible woman that either is going to start spousal abuse or God knows what else because it really gets complicated after that point. You dont know how her anger and violence will come out.
So there you go. Those are some of the bad mom indicators to watch out for, the bad ones, THE BAD. And if you see any of these, take a good close hard look at it and see it for what it is.
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Again, what Im trying to do is give you some power of your intelligent mind to control the rest of your mind, the emotional part, before its too late. Because once that emotional mind kicks in and you become reluctant to let her go, things get really, really disturbing.
We will be in the next section. Were going to talk about Compatibility Elements, what you really need to look for in a woman and the process of screening her so that you can choose her well.
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Compatibility Elements Now, lets talk about compatibility elements. These are the elements that are really important in a relationship and we are often disillusioned about what they really are. I think a lot of guys have a problem understanding whats real compatibility is in a relationship, even women really struggle with this one. Real compatibility is often very different than what we tend to think of when we think of being compatible with another person.
Overall, the concept is sound. Being compatible means youre with the person, what real compatibility is anyway is being with the right person for you thats going to compliment you in the right way, so that you dont have constant struggle and strife because what were talking about is no drama. We as guys dont want constant drama, constant argument, bickering and ghting, all that BS that makes relationships a pain in the ass to keep that makes you want to go into a new one or get out of the one youre in.
Well, heres what you must have in terms of compatibility. I talked about some of these before but these are slightly different.
Nurturer
First of all, the nurturer, that one has got come up again and again and again. If a woman who is not a nurturing personality type, youre going to have problems. Youre going to have a lot of problems, and the primary reason is that it is such an important part of essential femininity that without it, shes not truly a woman in a lot of ways. So she has got to be a nurturer. She must have this.
She should listen to you. In other words, hear what youre saying. Listen to you not through you, not so that you feel like when shes listening, shes waiting for her chance to speak. Listening to you is something that is really
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important. She has to take in what you are saying, process it, feed it back to you in a way that makes you believe that yes, she is really hearing you, and you needed to do the same thing for her, by the way. This should be tops on her list, and it is for almost single woman, and thats how we dene listening. It is that the other person actually takes in what we say, processes it and thinks about it, and then has the intelligence to be able to feed it back to us so that we know they got it. They got us. She should get you and by getting, what I mean is that she understands you on a fundamental level. She knows your personality quirks, and she works with them not against them.
A woman who gets you knows how to compliment the parts of you that are not like her, so she understands the way you are about things. Maybe you are the kind of guy, who has, and every guy does, we all have these peculiarities. Like on a shelf on a garage, you want everything lined-up neatly with your motor oil next to your coolant, next to your windshield wiper uid, next to your cleaning products, and you want them in that order, and thats like your one little weird thing, and maybe she gets that and she understands it and she doesnt ght it. She doesnt make a big deal out of it. She doesnt whine, complain and nag, Oh, why do you have to have it that way? She doesnt do that. She gets you and she works with it. Do you see how important that is? Shes not in need of exerting her own personality. She does not have to prove herself in a relationship. She is just accommodating the way you are, and you should be able to do it again the same thing for her.
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Relatively Secure I have to think long and hard with how I want to phrase that. I was just going to say security, it would not happen. Women by nature are not secure people. Men need to be, women do not need to be. It is just not in their make up. They are so emotional. They are sometimes conicting internally that true security in a woman is very often hard to nd, at least not by our denition. Their denition probably differs slightly. So what we see as security, feeling secure about herself, you are never going to get that in any great amount in a woman, and you have to be willing to understand that pretty much for the life of the relationship, you are going to have to be strong enough for the two of you.
Thats right. That is a job of a man. Our responsibility is to be strong enough for her and ourselves. We keep it together. We keep things just whole as far as relationship is concerned, and we also keep up the other persons condence. So your condence also has to be strong enough for both of you.
Self-Aware
Self-aware is another big important capability and denitely a compatibility element because being aware of yourself and knowing how you are, what your own weaknesses are, and being willing to admit them is such an important thing. Most people go through life trying to cover up their weaknesses, trying to pretend they are not there, trying to make sure you do not see them, and whenever they do get bumped into you by mistake, they are kind of like walking through a dark room and stabbing your toe, do you know what happens? There is a lot of screaming.
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Well, same thing happens when you run into or stab your toe on the way another person is when they are not willing to admit it. That is where you run into really strong defense mechanisms, and those defense mechanisms will keep you from true intimacy, again, using one of those New Agey terms, but it will keep you from true connection with her overall.
What you must not have in terms of compatibility. You need a minimum of anxiety. In other words, you want a woman that is relaxed. I am trying to state this in positive terms, but the reality is that you do not want a woman that has a lot of anxiety. That is just going to cost you much more problems than you need. Women are by nature much more emotionally complex, as if you didnt know that one. They are much more complex in terms of their emotional life, but the anxiety that is related to that life shows that she has not quite come to grips with her own nature. She does not understand her own emotional nature, and she has not gure out coping mechanisms to deal with it. That is what anxiety indicates really, and youve got to watch out for it because it will creep up and take you in the ass on a regular basis in a relationship. Her anxiety will cost you anxiety and pain and ulcers and stress.
Anger
You cannot afford to have a woman that is angered all the time. She is angry about this, about that. You see, women have their own compensations. Men have a way of kind of demonstrating our anger and our frustrations and our weaknesses as men. They come out in terms of sometimes violence, sometimes just anger in our explosive tempers and our inability to control our emotions. We learn as we mature how to control that.
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Women, on the other hand, they take their anger and they subvert it, and they do whats known as sublimate, they turn it into something else. Maybe her anger turns into an inability to have an orgasm, or the necessity of picking on you, or nagging on you, or doing these weird things. It will come out, so watch out for the anger.
The types of women that you can run into out there, and this is just another subset, and I am going to talk about it actually in a separate part of this program, in the bonus, I will talk about the specic types of women that you will run into in relationships and what to do about them and how to manage them.
But the types of woman that you are going to nd, you are going to nd: A marriage chick. She wants to get married. She is on the path to get married. That is her big thing ever since she has been four or ve years old, she has been subscribing to Bride Magazine and is waiting, salivating to have her big wedding. The contentious chick, she wants to ght with you over everything. Everything is a struggle with her. You are going to hate life with her. There is the fragile chick. She is the one that is just a mess when you say the slightest thing, What do you mean by that? Do you mean my lips are fat? But you like kissing me, but my lips? She is a freak. Now, there is vanity chick. She is into nothing but herself and her appearance and she does everything to maintain it. Its another scary one. She is a drag chick. This is the girl that is always a downer. It is like dating Eeyore. Its kind of like, Oh, oh, oh, everything is a downer. Everything is a drag. Trust me, shes not a fun person to be around. The taking selsh chick. All she does is take, take, take, take, take, me, me, me, me. Watch out for her.
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The dull at line chick. This is the woman that is kind of like, Yeah, Hmm. She is dull. She does not say much. She does not talk much. She does not emote for some reason. For all the women in the world, she seems to be less emotionally capable than a man. Watch out for her. And last but not the least, the anxious-crazy chick. This is the one that, Oh, oh! She is ready to freak out at a drop of a hat. She is just waiting for you to say the wrong thing to open her big bag 64ounce big old sack of crazy. She is just dying to unload it.
Now, these are the main types of woman you should denitely avoid, or at least be very aware of. Marriage chick you can get by with. If you can cut through the BS, you can often nd a real woman in there that will kind of show you what she is all about, but be aware of what is her primary focus. With contentious chick, again, it is a struggle. And all these women can be compensated for, but again, why do you have to? Why not choose well up front so you do not have to deal with this kind of crap.
Red ags to watch out for
Oh, I got a lot of them. You are going to love this list. We are going to talk about red ags. First of all lying or dishonest. If she is a liar or she is dishonest with you, be very careful. These are warning signals, by the way. They are not immediate write offs, but they are signals that you should be paying attention to. Do not let them sneak up on you and bite you on the ass because they are telling you something, and after you have broken up with her and youve gured out, Oh, that was a signal, you are going to wish you should listen to Carlos. The ex is still around when it is not necessary for him to be around. If shes out of a marriage and had kids, well, yeah, she is got to have to deal with him and you are going to deal with her dealing with him,
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and you are going to have to deal with him. There is a little complicated, little triangle you are going to have to deal with when you think about nailing one of those males out there. So if the ex is still around when it is not really necessary for him to be, there isnt kids in the picture, ask yourself why he is still around.
You are not the center of her attention and you are not a priority. This is important. You need to be a priority in her life. A woman needs to make you her priority. If she does not now, she never will. And my friend, you are going to hate that wife.
She hates your friends or you hate her friends. If you hate her friends, it is going to be a tough road. Really, it will be a tough road. If you do not get along with them, they are going to make it difcult for you too.
She is too focused on you. This is the opposite of the one over here where you are not the center of her attention, well, now she is too focused on you. She is obsessive. She is jealous. You know this chick. Freaky, scary stalker chick.
Here is another red ag. The pacing is you are too fast or way too slow. You too need to match up on your pacing for the relationship. If she is slowing you down all the time, constantly putting off sex or if she is accelerating it, yes, there are a lot of woman that try to sleep with you faster than you may want to sleep with her, which by the way, makes it harder for you to form a relationship with her, there is a natural ow to these things that you have to obey. And believe me, one-night stand is not necessarily the way to go. It is more difcult because it works against our natural pacing. You get no chance to have an emotional connection, but if the pacing is too fast or to slow, look at that as being a red ag.
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If she is abusive in anyway, sexual, mental, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, anyone of those four ways, specially with those four, any kind of abuse that you determine is in the mix, watch out it. It does not get better. Frequent problems communicating and understanding. She does not have the ability to communicate with you very well, and she is also does not demonstrate a good capability of understanding what youre going through or seeing from your perspective, or understanding you in anyway. That is a red ag. Controlling behavior. She tries to control you. She tries to control your life. She tries to control in anyway is, generally speaking, a bad thing. Some control, yes, a lot of control, no, especially if it is out of proportion or out of timing. Overly dependent behavior. This is where she really seems to need you. You know what I mean. Need you, like to lean on you 110% of the time, its not good. It will eventually graduate into stalker-type behavior, but over the long haul, you will nd it tiring, exhausting and you are not going to maintain a relationship this way. Drug or alcohol abuse. Again, it is abuse of another kind. It is selfabuse. Watch out for it. Anger issues. She is pissed, pissed about something, pissed about everything. It does not matter, but if she has anger issues, or if she lashes out in anger, its another red ag. Criminal activity. She shoplifts. She is an embezzler. She is doing naughty things at work that are against the law, anything, again, against the law. She has mental illness of any kind. This is could be bipolar depression, binge behavior. Its two extremes, of course, we all binge on occasion. Like you nd a food you like a lot, but when you really binge, you know it. Maybe she plays mind games, or she is frequently hot and cold. These are areas of mental illness that you need to watch out for.
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Again, I think that every single person on this planet has a little bit of mental illness, and there is a saying when you study social work or psychology or any of that stuff having to do with mental health that when you look at the DSM IV, which is this big fat book of all the possible things that can be wrong with you mentally, everybody nd something in there and you start to worry, Oh my God, I do that. I must be OCD. Oh my God, I do that. I must be paranoid. The reality is that we all have a little bit of these things. It is when it hampers our ability to cope with life that it becomes an illness. So if it is a sickness, it is one thing. If it is just an occasional thing you do, it is not so bad. But look at them with a cautious eye with women. There are a lot of woman with real mental issues out there.
I think this is the compensation that women have for the way man are. In other words, men tend to be a little bit more physically violent, a little bit more physically aggressive and just, Grrr.
Women internalize their issues and it becomes mental illness for them, and this is why I really feel that men have to be especially careful when selecting women is the way they internalize and manage their issues.
Extreme detachment is a red ag as well. If she is extremely
detached from you or life or just things in general especially you, watch out. Her detachment is a coping mechanism. Its a defense mechanism and it will prevent you from connecting. You are doing all the work. Are you the one doing all the work in this relationship? If it feels that way, there is a good chance that it could be actually real, which means there is no investment from her. That is a red ag.
Watch how she treats other people. You can tell anything about any
person by how they treat people. They do not need to treat well. Like I always used to look at the people in high school and see how they treated the janitor. Now, it may seem kind of funny because the janitor was usually they are kind of the old man or they are
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kind of Huh? Or they are total stoner dude who cannot get any job.
You think of all these different things when you think of the janitor, but the reality is that whatever you may judge him to be, he is still a human being. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they choose to treat that person. Do they make a fun of them or do they try and connect with them on some level, even though they may not be on the same level. Its really important to see this. You will see it especially in restaurants. Watch how a woman treats the wait staff because she is watching how you do.
Sexual issues and incompatibilities. Sexual incompatibilities, in
specic, of course, this is a red ag. Sexual issues are something you must watch out for. This will eventually sabotage your relationship because even up front you think you are going to have this wonderful, emotional connection. Your great white light of love, but when it comes right down to it, you are going to bump all of this. You are going to get it on. You are going to hit that thing, and if you cannot do that with the clear conscience and a minimum of issues where you two can get in to it and enjoy it, it is going to be hard down the road.
Is she super selsh and really focused on herself? Again, a red ag. Is she a blamer, or she constantly shifts the responsibility? There
are a lot of women that are very good at this. They will make you believe that it is your fault. She could take a gun out, shoot the person next door, and then proceed and make you think it was your fault she did that. I am not kidding you. They are incredibly clever, and they will mess with your brain. Watch out for her.
I called them the head gamers, and I really did make them a part of
this list, but you know what I mean, that is another red ag, head gaming.
No female friends or no friends at all. You should be able to see a pattern of balance in her life. She should have some male friends, a
lot of female friends. If its just the other way, interesting. If it shifts way one way, or she only has one gender, that is an issue.
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Gold digging. Enough said there, thats the red ag right off the bat because shes only into you for your money. Are you going to accept that as the terms of love? I do not think so, dude. That is not real emotion. That is self-preservation. Money issues, how does she handle her money? Is she a spender? Is she in a lot of debt? Does she have poor control over her spending? This is a red ag, and you have to realize that this is an especially important one because money issues are the number one reason, or at least quoted as the number one reason, for break ups and for a conict within relationships. Number one, does she have a pattern of cheating, or a pattern of disloyal behavior, a red ag. Is she always trading up? In other words, is she always having a lot of short-term relationships, but nothing that really pans out for long, like maybe longer than a year? There is an issue there. Again, patterns people demonstrate tell us all about them. Do your family or friends disapprove of this woman or girl, or have any reservations about her? Wow! This is a big one because when we get caught up in that emotional high, that crack pipe, we light it up, Oh God, I am so attracted to her. She is so hot. She is everything I want and we have fantastic sex. And what happens, yes, your rational thinking goes right out the window when your family sees things that you cant because they are not as emotionally involved with her. They will just get the ride, and you know what? Most of the time, theyre absolutely freaking right.
So watch out for those. Those are red ags. I gave you a ton of them there that you should watch out for, and those are important ones. Those are probably the most important ones. Its not to say there arent more that will come up, but those are the big ones to watch out for.
So we talked about the compatibility elements on which you must not have to finish this compatibility area. Do not even entertain a
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relationship with a woman that does not understand gender reality with the things that I teach you, that men are men and women are women, and that is why we are attracted to each other. If she is too busy trying to be a man, trying to take on the role of the leader, trying to live up to this new feminist ideal, trust me, you are in for a world of hurt there. You are going to be in pain for a long time.
She has to understand that men should be men, and that is if, of course, you can be a man, and Im assuming you can. Most guys out there today cant, so this is what is happening, we see man that are way over here in the masculine spectrum and the women over here in the feminine spectrum are starting to come together and they are starting to change places. So now women are trying to be men, men are trying to be women and this is how we are coming together and the polarity is too close. It is almost as in neutral. They are not attracted. They are not really attracted as if they were on the right ends of the spectrum. Believe me, that is an analogy that you will come to know and understand well in your search for a real good woman. Every woman has some bad qualities. Every woman does, but the trick is to decide how much is too much. How much is too much for you. This is that critical thinking aspect I talked about. When you know what is going to be enough for you and what you can take and what you cannot take, you are going to know when you are going to say, Bye-bye. I am done. I am over. This is done. I cannot do this anymore. You will have a criterion for leaving and you should always have that criterion, by the way.
You should always have a point to nd in your mind where you say, It is too much. I cannot do this. I know this would not work. I have to ip the switch in my head that says, I am out of here. Maybe not today, but very soon, I am going to be working on my exit visa, getting my passport stamped, and I am nding a ight out of here. It is important that you do that because, again, without that criterion in advance when you get caught up in the crack pipe of attraction you are going to be wishing you could see things clearly, especially after the wreckage has shifted through
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and you nd out that what kept you there longer than you had to be was your own emotions.
So those are the incompatibility elements. The screening process is you should go through all these different things. These are exercises for you to do with each woman.
Check her mental health history. Find out if she is in therapy. That
is not a bad sign that she is in therapy, it such a good sign. She is trying to get some kind of clarication in her life, but what is her relationship to that therapy? Is she dependent on it? Is it working for her? Is it not working for her? Why?
What is her relationship history? What is she typically had for
relationships? If she has had only long term relationships? Were he broke up with her? That is actually kind of a dangerous sign because it shows that maybe she is a little clingy, maybe she is a little needy, maybe she is a little bit too much in the relationship. I do not know. These are things you have to gure out with your critical thinking as you look at her relationship history.
What is her relationship to her family, especially her mother?
Especially her mother, you are going to see so much about her personality come out because women do tend to turn out like their moms, at least in most cases. Thankfully my girlfriend does not have that problem, which by the way, I have been with her for several years now. So again, if you are wondering whether or not Carlos himself can hold down a relationship, yes I can. The longest relationship I had is about ve years, of which the last year is debatable as to whether its relationship at that point, but I have had really upwards of a year to ve years, and beyond that at this point in this as far as I am concerned.
Patterns of previous boyfriends. Find out what the character and
type of guy that she is normally attracted to is. Find that out, and why it ended, who ended it, and why? Find out who ended the relationships. Find out what her pattern is with other guys.
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" " This is a real important one, because it will tell you all about her taste in men, and what her patterns are with relationships.
Again, how does she treat other people? Watch how she treats
other people because that will tell you how you are going to get treated in the long run.
How does she treat herself? Its really important here. I think that
there is a real strong correlation with how a woman treats herself in her overall level of self-esteem and self-condence and just her selfimage. If she treats herself well, that means she values herself which shows good positive mental health, self-condence, and her own self-esteem is good and strong, whereas if she treats herself poorly, think about how is that going to translate into a family? Is she going to treat your kids like that, I hope not.
So weve talked about the various aspects of starting a relationship in terms of decision criteria. Now, I want to get into a few of the side aspects before we get into the real meat here, which Im sure youre dying to nd out, its how to start this things up? How do you start up a lasting relationship with a woman?
Long Distance Relationships
Well, rst of all, lets talk a little bit of about long distance relationships because a lot of guys have some misperceptions about this, and they are important ones to get clear. The truth is that long distant relationships are a kind of false of intimacy, and I can tell you this from experience. Ive had long distant relationships, and Ive actually relocated over a thousand miles
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for a relationship. It did not work out, primarily because I did it from a wrong decision.
When youre in a long distance relationship, I have to say your thinking is distorted because you cant see the person. So you fabricate intimacy and emotions that do not yet exist. Its almost like an accelerant because you cant have this person, you cant see them, and both of you have become locked into the imagination of what it would be like. So you create a pattern of relationship in your head, not a real relationship. So its not real, its not a real relationship. Its never a real relationship until you can actually be with that person and experience them in person because they going to seem perfect to you. A thousand, two thousand, ten thousand miles away, theyre going to seem like the best person in the planet for you because you cant have them and because you cant see all the negative stuff youll be experiencing when youre with them.
Trust me, it does not matter, you are creating a glossy supercial image of that person, not the actuality. So the truth is that most long distance relationships are built on false intimacy.
Now, there really are two choices to this. Im going to talk about it in a second here, but there are a lot of guys out there that fall into this situation because they are shopping for a wife that is probably not American, maybe an overseas bride or some kind, which Im not going to say as bad necessarily. Its just depending on the reasons for you doing it. I
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personally have found that, on the whole, American women are very different than a lot of women around the world. Most countries out there where women really do understand who they should be to satisfy and please a man, not just to be supplicating, not just to be passive, no, they have a certain role they understand works with men.
These women are what they called the, Alpha Women. They understand their femininity and they know how to make it work with a man. So if youre shopping for a wife out there, a non-American wife, I hardly encourage it actually, but when youre doing it overseas, youre going to nd some difculties here and thats because, again, it creates a false sense of intimacy. You have to be with that person for a long period of time to really know that they are there for you. So how do you actually do it? How do you make a long distance relationship work? Well, rst of all, you have to have regular physical presence. You still have to see this person regularly and spend time with them with longer periods of time. The longer you can spend with that person, the more you are going to see, the more you are going to understand, Oh, this really is a real person. Im kind of creating an ideal image in my head when shes not around, and Im pretending and making myself fall in love with the person that I really dont have any experience with. Thats the realization you come to, so you have to have regular physical presence with that person. You must be with her in person, whether its vacation you spend together for a long period of time, you have to have an extended period of time together. There is no way around it.
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You have to have regular communications. This is deep communication, and that means using the phone a lot. Because email is so one way, you have to have that chemistry of talking with the person on the phone, and this does sound like a small thing, but dont do it over cell phones. There is small delay thats introduced in communication over the cell phone that Ive noticed, and Ive also noticed that it leads to a kind of weird chemistry where you never know when the other person is actually talking. Sometimes youll start talking and that person starts talking, and then you go back and forth with it, No, you talk. No, you talk. Its because of that delay in the communication, and it actually throws off the conversation quite a bit and it actually magnifies when youre talking to a woman. So talk with a woman on a landline and insist that shes also in a landline and you have the concentrated time to really talk with her. It sounds like a small thing, but its actually a big thing because you pick up a lot on chemistry.
Eventually you have to have a plan for getting together to see if its going to work. One of you is going to have to relocate, one of you is going to have to take the big plunge and come together. I dont know another way to say it, whether its the Beatles version or the Aerosmith version, youve got to come together right now. Its going to tell you whether or not its for real or if its a fake. If its imaginary intimacy, then you are going to need to figure it out, but its going to happen. If you rely on staying
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on a long-term relationship, youre just mentally masturbating. Its going to have a long hard road ahead of it.
So thats all Im going to say on long distance relationship because, overall, I dont recommend them. I really dont recommend that you spend any time on a long distant relationship. If anything, long distance must turn into short distance right away. Long distance relationships, on the whole, do not last and are built on the false intimacy, the false knowledge of the other person, and they are not as likely to succeed. So again, they can succeed but theyre going to take a lot more work, and you have to recognize what you want to gamble on, the two-to-one odds or the one thats ten thousand to one. Whats more important?
Myths of Love and Relationships
What are the myths of love and relationships? This is an important section. Im going to do some more disillusioning here, so that you would get the right idea as we go into the important parts of the program. What are the myths of love and relationships?
Well, one of the myths is, Love conquers all. Do you hear that one a lot? Im sure you have. Love does not conquer all. Love make it seems like you can conquer all because youre so blinded from the crack pipe. Im using the crack pipe a lot because you really have to understand what a distorting impression that gives to you. So love conquers all is another myth. Youve got to watch out for that one.
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" " "
It doesnt conquer all. Sometimes you can be in love with the person, but you just cant be with that person, and thats an important recognition to have and realization to have. To leave her better than you found her is another one of those myths that I talked about earlier on the program. It was at one of my seminars when he came up with that one and I was like, Dude, thats not up to you. You can try to do that as best you can. You can have that positive inuence on her, but overall, leaving her better than you found her can often lead you to being over-invested in something you cant control. Is she invested and being better than when you found her? She has to be as just as invested as you. And if shes not? Youre going to fail with this, and it wont even be your fault.
Love is forever. Love is not forever, not necessarily, and if you want thing forever, it being eternity, then denitely it isnt because weve all got to go sometime. So there is only one type of relationship that last forever and thats the one that you eventually die in, like a long term marriage or something like that. Thats it, and even then it ends, so every relationship comes to an end in some form or another. So forget about the forever aspect. Just focus on the quality today and perpetuating that quality day after day after day. Thats it. Thats really how relationship is all about.
You need to talk about relationships. Its another one of those common misperceptions. The fact is the more you analyze and talk about the relationship, the worst the relationship probably is.
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" " " The thing Ive noticed about relationship is the more that you feel like you have to analyze and talk about the relationship like its a third party entity and you have to analyze it and take it apart, Our "
needs to be worked out. Lets work on our relationship. The "more you have to focus on as being separate from you, the "worse it generally is. If youre doing it right, she wont need to " talk about it other than the
where is this going. This is the ip " side of this. If the relationship is working right, shes not need " going to talk about it other than her usual so where is this " going? Where is this leading? Whats going on? Because " that is " l" "
its " good in the present, she wants to continue it and know going to continue. The woman focus is on a safe secure
long-" term connection with a partner that can ensure her survival. I know its not very romantic, is it? Beware talking about the relationship as a separate entity from you and her. Again, this goes back to what I said before. If youre talking about the relationship as if its a separate thing thats not you and her together as a relationship, well, thats dangerous territory, youve got to watch out for that.
Relationships require a lot of work. Its is one of those myths out there. Well, they do require work, but the only work is to overcome the limiting parts of your own personality that are keeping you from connecting with hers. Let me say that again, the only work is to overcome the limiting parts of your own personality that are keeping you from connecting to her, because thats what is happening with her too. She has got to overcome herself to get through to you and connect with you. Its getting past our walls of ego and dysfunction,
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so that we can properly connect with another person. Or recognizing that even though you think you want a relationship, youre just insecure. We do this all the time. Human beings do this all the time. We fall back in our relationships as a way to cure our problems, to solve ourselves. Were just insecure and we gure relationship will help that, wont it? Sometimes yes, most times no.
So those are some of the myths I wanted to debunk for you. I hope that isnt too much of a shock. Theres a lot more and there are going to be more to come up here on the course of this program, but those are the important ones.
Starting Up a Relationship
Lets talk now about how you start up a relationship. Well, the assumption is that there is attraction. I have to come into this program with you under the assumption that you have built some level of attraction with a woman. Once youve done that, we can now move on, we can now move forward. But if you havent built attraction, we are nowhere near talking about a relationship. Youve got to have attraction to start a relationship. It has to be there. There has to be this genuine desire to be with the other person. She has to want you and it has to be some degree sexual. One-itis is an important thing to watch out for because when you start up a relationship, youre going to be tempted to fall into one-itis.
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One-itis is that unhealthy focus we have on one woman and it will bite you on the ass because youre not going to be able to really maintain a level of separation you need to from the woman to get a relationship started. Oneitis is in direct conict with starting a relationship. As much as guys dont seemed to get that, I have to repeat it. One-itis, the focus on one woman is being the only for you is going to get in your way of actually getting her for that relationship.
We just dont meet many women is really where it comes from. We just arent meeting many women, so you gure this has to be the one woman. Its unhealthy and its created by the fact that youre just not meeting other women. You become reliant on the one that you do get.
We idealize women based on supercial knowledge. Thats really where one-itis come from. Its an idealization of women based on just a little bit of knowledge about them, not an in-depth understanding. The best cure for one-itis is what you are going to learn in this program. You are going to learn that women are not all wholesome and pure. They are not as ideal image of femininity. They are great. They are fantastic. They are wonderful creatures, but they are still human beings, and they are also very awed human beings.
Dispel the obsession by getting in touch with her aws right away. This is the habit that I brought into my life and brought into my relationships that have served me so well, and I want to pass it onto you.
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You can get rid of this one-itis obsession by immediately looking for and nding a few aws that you can use to really frame her in a realistic way.
For instance, Ill start dating a woman and Ill nd something thats kind a like, Hmm. It is not a red ag, its Hmm. Thats how I dene it. I cant try writing that one down. So when I see a Hmm, I take a moment to think, There could be something here. This could be a aw. This could be something that I would have to deal with for a long time. Am I prepared to do that? Yeah, I can probably do that, but it still something gets me a little bit of concern so Im going to watch it. Its a little bit of a signal, not a danger signal or an alarm, but a Hmm.
Regularly connect with many women, not just this one woman. Connect with many women, even in a friendship basis, because you are going to learn a lot about women in the process, and it allows you to have a frame of reference for the woman that you are focused on so badly. The reality is that anyone woman out there could be the one for you, any woman could be, but its up to you to choose that woman.
We see one woman that we happened to get emotionally involved with, we take a hit from the crack pipe, and she is the one only because our brain chemistry has convinced us of this, and we dont have a self control to keep the separation. So it all comes down to emotional self-control. Dont jump on the pool when you cant see the bottom. That is a little clever witticism for you to use in relationships, Dont jump in that pool until you
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could see the bottom. So emotion self-control is the operative word or words. Thats for one-itis.
How to Transition From Dating to Longer Term Relationship
Heres the transition. This is how you transition from dating to the longer term relationship. How to go from casual dating to relationship?
The rst step is to ensure that there is genuine attraction. Now, by genuine, I mean sexual attraction, real physical attraction, not the, Oh, hell do kind of attraction because thats kind of a weak attraction. I studied physics and particle physics just as like a hobby. I know its geeky, but there is a thing called the weak attractive force and the strong magnetic force that we can strong forces anyways within sub-atomic particles, and this is just exactly like that. The weak attraction is when a woman thinks, Hell do. Hes got enough of the things that I am looking for. Hes a nice guy. I could stand being with him. Thats not attraction, thats just, again, settling. Its better than nothing. Make sure its genuine attraction where youre hot and heavy for each other.
Get sex. This is important. I dont think many guys realize just how important it is. A real relationship with a woman is based on sexual attraction, the need to get down and dirty, to go to the bedroom with each other. Yes, youve got it. With that thing you may or may not have had issues about. Getting sex is a vital part of it. Without sex there will be no relationship.
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Physical intimacy is a prerequisite of all relationships. Let me say that again, physical intimacy, Im not necessarily talking about sex, although I would actually prefer to kind a say sex, I think physical intimacy or like strong physical contact, because I know that some peoples beliefs dont necessarily condone this. Physical intimacy is a prerequisite of all the relationships you will start. Without it, you dont have genuine attraction.
Progressive Milestones In a Relationship
These are important to understand.
First comes regular dating. This where we should be starting with the conversation right now. This program is built around the fact that you are now regularly dating a woman and you dont want to lose her, or you are planning to date a woman long term and you dont want to lose her. Regular dating means an emotional connection. You created some kind of emotional connection with her and now you want it keep it going.
Then comes, hopefully, some regular sex. Youre getting some regular sexual, either intercourse or physical intimacy, and its hard for me to kind of dene that because I tended to dene it in terms of sex, but it could be a strong make-out session. It could be heavy petting for you guys that just want to hold off.
Youre committed to future events together. We are going through a progression here of how you will know youre starting to move
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through a relationship. So the next thing you have to be working for after you start the regular dating is regular sex and it should be
enjoyable sex for both of you. Then comes commitment to future events together. In other words, youre able to say, You know what? Next month there is this concert coming into town, and remember you said you like the band, so lets go see them. You just made a commitment in the future to be with this person and youre assuming that youll have a romantic connection between now and then. Thats a form of commitment. I know I use the C-word. Im so sorry. Then comes somewhere in there meeting her friends. Thats a big step. Shes introducing friends. She doesnt want to introduce her friends to somebody thats not going to be around long, so thats usually a good indicator, and the same thing for you, meeting your friends is another indicator of progression in a relationship spectrum, so you need to make that happen. Another thing that has to happen is meeting her family, meeting your family. There has to be some meeting of people that shes directly related to. It can start with brothers and sister, uncle and aunts or whoever shes close to, but eventually it should culminate in her parents if theyre still around. If they are out of town or lived in other state, you still going to work it in there. It maybe more of commitment of time and it may also make this a more significant step in the building of a relationship. Another progressive milestone is traveling together. A real important one here because youre going to find out a lot about the person without having to live with them. Its really why traveling together is so important. Youre going to see her
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habits. Youre going to see how she gets ready in the morning. Youre going to see how she handles bedtime. Yeah, theres going to be a little bit of gloss of trying to put on your best face for the person, but traveling together brings out the, Ha, this is trial of what it would be like to live with her for the rest of my life.
Then comes more distinct verbal commitments as you start talking about things more intimate details about your relationship together, how committed you are to each other, how you genuinely feel about each other with more sharing and expression of feelings. You are going to make more distinct lifestyle commitments. Maybe she has a toothbrush over your house now, maybe you both share a certain interest in a food or youll bring something to her place, shell bring something. Again, there is more a little small lifestyle commitments that make it more apparent that you two are together and sharing a similar life.
Then comes the big one, living together. I will talk about this later in the program as to the decisions about this when you want to do it and when you dont want to do it, but recognize that it is a signicant step in pushing a relationship further.
There is stuff in between, but generally coming next would be marriage, children and with most relationships, this is just as fact in life, most relationships just keep going on to auto pilot after about six months to a year. This is how most people approach relationships. These things happen automatically because we just let them happen. We dont take any conscious thought into either making them happen or whether they should happen.
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" " " And when they do start to happen, we are starting to fall down on a progressive chain of events that lead us then to a relationship, whether we want to or not. So what Im telling you is rather " than
letting yourself fall in to a relationship after a rst few hits on the pipe, youve got to go on more rational thinking. You have to take conscious cognitive control because most people go on auto pilot and they just assume its a relationship after a certain period of time, and they dont really plan, or do " anything, it just happens to them. You dont want a relationship "happening to you. You want to create it. Thats a distinct " difference between how an Alpha man thinks about this and " how
the average guy does, especially the nice guy.
So those are some of progressive milestones to a relationship. Heres a simple plan and again, I dont want to complicate things. I will only give you the essential steps you need to know to do these things. The simple plan for how to start a relationship or how to get into relationship mode is rst of all:
To keep seeing her at least once or twice per week. Once or twice per week. Once per week is the rst signicant milestone. After that, it becomes more frequent per week, and then it starts to become more established in your head. Youre teaching her a pattern of interaction with you and if it goes good, that means the relationship is building. There are going to be natural expectations of commitment if you do this path. If you meet her once or more per week, you are creating a relationship. If you dont want the relationship, you need to slow that down. Its very important
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because again guys are going to fall into, Well, I guess I ought to see you again this weekend. Or you feel like you should and what you unknowingly do is create the pattern in her head that says, Hey, Ive got a relationship with this guy. And shes going to assume it too, and then you are both going to be in for a world of hurt when one or both of you doesnt agree on what this is.
Keep moving the agenda forward. It should sound obvious but its not always done. In other words, you need to keep moving through those milestones I was talking about. Back here with these progressive milestones, youre the one who is in charge of the progression. You make it happen, and then watch. Is she making a few of those steps happening, too? Is she helping them along? Then shes probably into it with you and you should follow along and keep going. If shes not into it or doesnt seemed to want to go along in the same track but isnt saying no, you still have an issue and you need to get to the root of it. Remember its always in the thing she isnt saying that you need to nd the truth. Thats where relationship success comes from. Looking beyond the supercial, knowing that women will not confront you, they will not bring something up, and they will actually hold things back to test you, to test your perseverance, to test your willingness to be in a relationship. So keep the agenda moving forward. Remember keep moving forward. If youre having sex with her, great. But thats not the end of the relationship you still need to be making progressive steps forward.
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Keep your mouth shut, if you want a relationship to go, this goes back right back to what I said earlier, you do not need to talk about the relationship. It will become a relationship on its own if you start if you start to create it and talk about it like its this thing in the middle of your desk. If its like this glass, and you use this as being the relationship. Lets talk about relationship, look how the relationship sloshes back and forth. Its only half full. Is it half full, or is it half empty? If we start talking about the relationship like its an entity, its going to go bad. Dont tell her your feelings before she has told you. This is going to meet with some controversy and Im sure more than a few raised eyebrows. Dont tell a woman your feelings before she has told you hers. The reason for this is:
1. You want to be somewhat more in control of your emotional
state than the woman because thats the guys role. Its just the way it is. So even you do love her, wait. I guarantee you she will tell you and when she does you will feel better for it.
2. The other reason is that you wont really know if she feels it
unless she tells you she feels it. If you tell her rst youre going to always wonder if she told you just to not to be uncomfortable to match you, to just say it to not make it weird. Does she really mean it? The only way youre going to know if she initiates it. Its better if she is the one thats wondering than you.
3. Dont make any future plans in the early stages. In other
words, if you just started dating her, things are going good, dont make a lot of future plans, at least, not for very far out.
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You can make them a week in advance, but not too many weeks out. The more temporary this feels, the more shes going to feel loose and anticipating whats coming up ahead, and shes not going to feel like shes being jump into, or youre being clingy or needy or obsessive, so its very important that it all falls under keep your mouth shut.
Keep the attraction going. Keep doing the things you are doing before to build the attraction. The exact same things are applicable, with the same romantic gestures, with the same things that you were doing that you are building attraction with, whether it was from the pickup side of it or what, its still there. Keep playing with her palm, and after youre done reading it you can now play with it and have fun with her. There is lots of room for playful interaction with a woman. You have to do that. I cant emphasize that enough. Primarily complaint from women is that men stop doing what they did to get her into it. Keep building connection and intimacy, so attraction is one aspect, connection, intimacy and rapport, keep working on those. Ill talk more about how thats done.
Keep her on her toes. This is one that is often overlooked by guys. Constantly challenge her and hold up under testing. So what I mean is you need to challenge her on a regular basis because shes going to be challenging you back. Shes going to be testing you and you need to be able to hold up under that testing. When you can do that, youre going to be able to keep her on her toes and youre going to be on your toes. This should be a very high alert kind of situation,
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not where you are anxious, but you are like there. You feel present. Its really interesting.
Keep taking the lead. You must have the initiative. You must be the one to keep things moving. Ive said this time and time again, you are the leader and you own this relationship. Now, you have to make it happen.
Back to alert again, stay alert. Watch her behavior, and watch for deltas. This is really important. Im not telling about a river delta here. Delta, its a triangle in the Greek alphabet. Its a symbol in mathematics, and it means change. The change of one thing is what were looking for here, and youre watching for any changes that happen in the context of your relationship. When you see a change, take note of it, watch it and gure out why its changing. Is she becoming more warm to you? Is she becoming more physically affectionate? Or has she started to chill out a little bit, cool off a little bit? Dont go getting worried about this like it is the end of the world, but ask yourself, Ha, I just noticed that. What the hell does that mean? Track these patterns because this is the one thing that most guys fail to do, and they are always wondering what happened after it happened to them. They dont stay alert. They dont keep an eye on her behavior. They are just riding along for the fun of it. They dont keep an eye off for the changes. If something changes, they dont notice it and then they wonder, What the F? What happened? And then theyre not seeing patterns and not noticing what they are.
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Those are the simple steps to starting a relationship up. Its not complicated. There is no specic one thing you need to do. Its all general.

Keep seeing her. See her a little bit more frequently than the last time maybe. Keep your agenda moving forward with those milestones. Keep your mouth shut. Keep under control of your emotions. Do not talk about your emotions.
Keep the attraction building, so keep doing the fun and energetic stuff. Build a connection intimacy.
Keep her aware and on her toes. You keep testing her. I actually am going to you a test by the way that you can use to check her in a relationship and get the right answers that you want, and then stay alert.
Thats it. Its not complicated. I know that it might be a letdown for some of you, but actually it should be very, very relieving. Its not a complicated process. You just keep going, and if she doesnt stop you or doesnt put on the breaks in any big way, youre moving forward. Congratulation, my friend, youve just started the relationship.
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Now, I know that can be scary, so what we want to do is keep it going without drama, without pain and heartache and were going to talk more about that.
Let her be the one to declare the relationship, not you. If you do it, youre always going to wonder if she really wanted to have a relationship, like if you wanted to commit to being monogamous or whatever it maybe. If she does it, you will know for sure where she stands because shes the one who initiated it. Leave her wondering a little bit. I mean, you dont have to answer doubtfully like, Yeah, sure, I can, you know, just date you. Yeah, yeah, sure. Dont answer like that. Be enthusiastic. Be there with her. Be present, and be like, Yes, denitely. Thats what I want. But at the same time, youre going to be the one who knows for certain thats what she wants and you need to know that.
She will start it. Dont worry. With most of the work, shes going to do it. Shes going to do most of the work. Just make sure you know where you want to go rst. Make sure you really want this to go into a relationship because shell take you there, whether you want to go or not. A woman will progress naturally with or without you. This is usually predicated with a wheres is this going talk. In other words, youll know a relationship is starting when she starts to talk about, So where are we? So how do you feel about me? So, what do we got here? So what is this thing? When she starts doing that, thats the indicator to you that shes starting to get invested in feelings and she wants to check herself before she gets hurt.
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Get her to voice her desires rst. Ive said again and again, its really important, because if you say it, you become the emotional needy guy. If she says it, shes the woman.
Express your interest in terms of being aligned with hers, instead of creating confusion with your own verbalization. What the hell do I mean by that? Actually thats me saying that, What the hell do I mean by that? When you express your interest in terms of being aligned with hers, you are just simply saying, Do you know what? I love to do this with you or that with you, instead of trying to say, Do you know what? I have this feeling with you that Id like to take you away to Paris or something like that. That is actually less connecting to a woman than just expressing how you see yourself tting into what she already experiences in her life.
Show how you feel like you could t it to that picture and the bigger picture unfolds. Its just another way of handling that aspect of where is this going. You dont have to say, Well, I see us moving to France and being together forever, or I see us living backpacking through Europe together. Those are great things to talk about on occasion, but really when you can nd a place to insert yourself in what she already experiences and describe it to her in a way that shows that her life is now somehow incomplete right now without you in that picture, that actually magnies attraction and starts the relationship faster because she cant wait to have that with you. Its what she already has. Now, its suddenly, Oh, its not enough because youre not there. Youre not in that picture. What was once enjoyable is now more lonely to her. I know it sounds like a
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horrible way to do it, but honestly thats what she wants. Thats the way she wants to perceive it. Its actually not horrible. Its actually a good thing.
Last thing were going to talk about in the starting up phase is the whole topic of MILFs, mothers I like to have fun with. Really this is a term you can use for any woman that has kids that you can get involved with. You keep that in mind.
That any woman who has kids that you get involved with, its going to be a null situation because its not just you, its her kids. Recognize that this woman has a priority of her kids. You are secondary and you will always be secondary to that. Thats another thing to recognize in relationships. You have to handle the fact that you will not always be the priority. You have to know how youre going to feel about her kids and in general. Know how you feel about her kids and just in general about this relationship with a woman that has kids.
Recognize your own need to procreate. A mom who already has
kids, if its natural, shes going to give you kids as well. She will want to give you children. Shell want to do that for you. Most women would because they understand how it works. Coming into a full nest already is very unnatural for men, and she will recognize this and shell know that while she does expect you to play kind of a fatherly role to her kids, she knows that youre not their biological father and that is a big stretch, my friend. It is a big stretch. It is not
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the same as having your own children. Your own children are never the same as somebody elses.
Relate to her an understanding of her situation. In other words when
dealing with the woman who already has kids, shes a mom already, a single mom or whatever it maybe, relate to her an understanding of her situation. She has got it tough. This is something you can just assume right off the bat. Shes got a tough life right now in dealing with raising her kids, being both a mom and a father to her kids, making sure she has time for herself, making sure she is not all stressed out. Balancing all these factors in her life with one person having to do all of it, its very challenging.
Acknowledge her value as a woman beyond being just a mother.
Thats what shes dying for. She wants to be recognized as something else other than this mother unit to the children. "" If you can see those things and recognize her as being " somebody
that is whole and independent of those kids, she will really gravitate to that. And with the whole MILF situation, you just got to be more direct. If youre going to look at dating a mom or somebody who already has her own family, maybe you " have your own and youre kind of linking families, I dont know what is it, but youve got to be more direct. Women like this " " need to have a much more rmly established footing. They may at rst want to just have fun, but eventually being more direct " with communicate on a
them will denitely get you further. She will want to " more direct level. I want to throw this in " lot of guys do run into, hell, "
because this is a situation of a
younger and younger these days because
when women get "married young they get divorced young and they may
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have a kid " or two from it because they had a kid thinking the kid will solve " " " " " " all their problems, but no. Children are wonderful. They are fantastic thing to have in life. I have a boy myself, and I can tell you that they are great, but I do know that if I have to start a relationship with another woman, hes the priority, not her, and thats the way it always has to be. So dont be surprised if this kind of situation is a little different and if you cant handle it, " thats
ne, man. For a long time I knew I couldnt start a relationship with a woman that already had other kids and it took me awhile to get over that and realized, You know what? I can deal with it. But if you cant, thats ne. Just make sure youre only dating the kind of woman that you want to date. Dont put yourself in a situation where its more difcult to get "what you want. It sounds kind of like a no-brainer, but you would be amazed how many guys dont do it. Well, there we go. That was a pretty exhausting session there. This is the Starting Relationship section that we just nished. Now, were going to go into a very big section next coming up, which is Keeping Her. How do you keep a girlfriend? Were going to go through a lot of elements here. This is a long section. Were going to break it up. It has got some really tight stuff. You are going to love the information in this section, so dont waste any time, move into the next video.
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Morpheus Productions, LLC.
The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services of trained professionals in any eld, including, but not limited to, psychological, nancial, medical, or legal matters. In particular, you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment, action, or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates, or any of their afliates, will be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages that may result, including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death.

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The Girlfriend Training Program

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

So how do you get the most out of this program?

relationship. In other words, you are going

yourself in the context of a long-term relationship

So thats how you get the most out of this program.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

So those are some of the pros of being in a relationship.

What are some of the cons?

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

Red ags to watch out for

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.