Bereavement and the Sentimental Object

Andi Harriman MTJW 724 Spring 2011

Ownership of a sentimental object is not about materiality or consumerism, nor does it imply presumptuous or ostentatious representations of wealth. It involves the potency of an object within the realm of the self, a bond quite unfathomable to those outside of the interior sphere of the owner. Personal value of the sentimental object is embedded in the structure of nostalgia and memory when elevated in the course of mourning for a loved one the object becomes a component to the process of healing. Souvenirs, keepsakes and heirlooms envelop private narratives, ones that can only be signified those intimately involved with the object. Because the owner defines the personal value of the object from experiences and memories, others are unaware of its psychological foundation, which creates a sequestrated shield to those unbeknownst. This structure of intimacy within the sentimental is built from the discourse of public and private space. Through this, the practice of private isolation as a reaction to mourning can be concealed internally even though the object retains its outward appearance of public display. Mourning of the deceased is not only imbued within the object itself the act of making the object creates opportunity for the survivor to lament, temporarily allowing the hand to react instead of the brain. Progressive steps towards healing are fulfilled upon the memorializing of the absent through the creation of an object it signifies the intimate time spent during the release of working. Grief and renewal, mourning and memorialization, along with the separation of public and private realms are all factors within the sentimental object; from the relationship of the present and absent, stories are transferred through the sentimental by building complex layers

of meaning. Intimacy implies isolation, a solitary moment or a contained experience with few components involved. Suzanne Ramljak explores the intimate object in her essay Intimate Matters: Objects and Subjectivity, writing that objects or events of the intimate form assist in strengthening bonds within the self; this empowerment wills the psyche to fortify the inner body from outside influence (190). Secretive objects, Ramljak says, [represent] an extreme form of privacy, and, as such, can engender a powerful sense of knowingness and self sufficiency (190). The engagement with the sentimental object is increased by the tactile quality it beholds and the ability to embrace and to interact with the item recollects remote memories of the absent. Isolatory interaction strengthen the private intimacy and sacredness of an object and in return, the self builds fortitude against lingering sorrow. The practice of mourning within society seems to mirror certain aspects of the intimate object. As a reaction to death, there are three categories the survived must attain as a societal standard. J. Todd DuBose, author of The Phenomenology of Bereavement, Grief and Mourning, says the first stage is bereavement, which is simply the moment of the death of a loved one (368). Grief follows as the emotional response to the precedence of bereavement, while mourning is the more public expression of loss; it is the act of endurance and the ability to carry on one way or another (Dubose 368). The body is seen as a container to be emptied and filled. Moreover, the body is viewed as a self-contained capsule, or better yet, a self inhabited capsule. Bereavement takes place outside the body, grief takes place inside the body, and mourning takes place inside the body as it reacts to the outside

world (Dubose 369). Quite similarly, an object, such as a pair of eyeglasses once belonging to the deceased, become a container of memories upon the instant of bereavement. The collected moments involving the object are encapsulated signifiers of an irreplaceable history that the eyeglasses now embody. The eyeglasses, though once belonging to a loved one, have changed its identity. They now become a precious object of meaning that project memories onto those who remember the absent individual who once interacted with the glasses by wearing them, folding them into their shirt pocket or placing them on top of the daily newspaper. Those unfamiliar with the eyeglasses psychological properties might perceive the item as simply an orphaned object stripped of its functionality. This change represents the rationalization of the human mind, the interpersonal significance of inward grief and an outward display both containing separate meanings. The personal narrative of an object defines its value; none is more exemplary than the souvenir in order to express this conundrum of human instinct to transport memories. Susan Stewart, author of On Longing, believes that the souvenir, like all intimate objects, cannot function without an imbued narrative constructed by adjoining participants (136). Significance of the object is created and without this interplay, meaningfulness of a souvenir is lost (Stewart 136). The significance of Stewarts statement resonates in the souvenir of the deceased the objects that carry on their former owners remnants of life. Stewart says the heirloom becomes the souvenir of the dead in which the mere material remains of what had possessed human significance is portrayed (Stewart 140). The transformation of the

heirloom converts meaning into materiality while the souvenir marks materiality to meaning (Stewart 140). Thus, the heirloom contains meaning before the materiality of the object is considered while the souvenir is an empty container that is required to be filled with personal significance. Valued possessions are items we keep close and hold dear; they are the items we relate to our individuality and personal being. Eyeglasses, for example, though functional to the owner, are indicators of personality through its color, shape and size. E.H. Cameron calls the desire to own an object an instinctive human trait, a universal and hereditary characteristic of mankind (156). The accumulation of certain objects influences a persons feeling of worth and is in a real sense the inner workings of our selves (Cameron 163). And it is no surprise that people bond closely to objects that remind them of past experiences. Objects, like a coffee cup inscripted with the words Graceland can have a surfaced, superficial meaning to the public viewer: its Elvis former home and burial site. But to the owner of the object, the intimate importance of the mug provides psychological stimulation through its inherited memory it could represent a gift from an individual now deceased. This interplay of the public versus private value of a cherished possession draws on the inconspicuous nature of a sentimental objects worth. The old 1960s Singer sewing machine that sits in the corner of my room with its wobbly legs and nicked wooden table has become an object of such value. My grandmother bequeathed it to me when she bought a new sewing machine because, maybe only subconsciously, she knew how important it was for me to own the old Singer. On that machine, she taught me how to follow a pattern, how to backstitch,

and how to master the speed of the needle by controlling the temperamental pedal. Those experiences heightened any formal definition of the sewing machine from its intended function as an object. With its dings and scratches, the old Singer would probably have little value to those outside of my private life. But personally, the monetary worth of the sewing machine is almost priceless. Marsha Richins in her article, Public and Private Meanings, believes that these special objects are sacred memories and experiences that can no longer be lived and are encapsulated in the irreplaceable object (505). Even with an exact replica, the replacement could never sustain the memory of the former object (Grayson 17). The dents in the wood and the patinaed surface of the brass handle on the sewing machine are scars from lived moments surrounding it. I am reminded of its functionality through memory the physical interaction of the object from the past as well as the psychological intimate interaction of the present. Many individuals from my family have experienced a moment set around the old Singer and perhaps the sight of the sewing machine would catapult stories from each persons childhood involving my grandmother. A shared experience can arise within objects the involvement of multiple persons creates additional sentimentality of an object through the communal and individual experiences with the object. The collected narrative, for example a memory quilt, is created from signifiers of memories passed. The impact of storytelling instilled in each remnant square begins to evolve into a mythical artifact within the family. This transcendence from object to artifact develops psychic energy which is otherwise known as the directed efforts of energy put forth upon an object (Belk 144). The

layering of meaning, like fabric squares used within a memory quilt, invokes the psychic energy to thrive. Through this process, the object becomes detached from its historic origins and is replaced by supernatural powers legitimated through family stories and myths (Curasi, Price and Arnould 610). Repetition of storytelling in relation to the object is essential in the longevity of psychic energy; the rehearsal of these stories help to assure the sentimental endorses a social order acknowledged from generation to generation (Curasi, Price and Arnould 616). The more psychic energy a person invests into an object, a more sacred build up of nostalgia occurs which assists in heightening the overall importance of the object (Grayson 23). Therefore, unlike an heirloom, which is historically centralized, the ability of the object to possess such an abundant psychic energy allows the item to become a family artifact. It is by no accident that certain heirlooms, souvenirs and keepsakes are passed down to the survived family and personal relics, photographs and objects of particular importance are offered to loved ones. The items bequeathed to the survived are symbolic to the past life of the deceased, becoming objects of the extended self (Belk 150). The narrations of the deceaseds life are retained in such objects of value that help to contribute in the development of character. This is primarily done because objects are the only remaining symbols of how a person wants to be perceived and remembered. Artifacts that portray idealized identities of ones self is known as an identity kit which is a strategical performance in collecting objects that are symbolic to his or her legacy (Unruh 340). The careful planning of an identity kit reveal how the dying desires to be remembered: as a

nurturer, businessman, or spiritual person, for example. When the dying, who are individuals usually in the later stages of life, consider their legacy and the completion of a collection that integrates personal achievements and experiences. The preservation of personal identity becomes accepted by the survived and is defined through the objects bequeathed to them (Unruh 340). Heather Whitmore studied extensively on elders route of identity preservation through their possessions in the essay Value That Marketing Cannot Manufacture: Cherished Possessions as Links to Identity and Wisdom. Within her research she found that possessions of older generations remain concrete representations of their achievements and social relationships (Whitmore 59). These connections are lost social and personal objects that link to their identity mainly items of greatest importance are ones that support their legacy of life experiences (Whitmore 59). Elders, in their quest to preserve identity, keep mementos of events that retain feelings of self-continuity through objects such as colanders, diplomas or even hand-made shelves (Whitmore 60). Within the active collecting of symbolic objects, the elderly are forced to believe that their keepsakes will become sacred for many subsequent generations to follow. The potency of memory preservation in owning a sentimental object can be reinforced by the act of creating an object during the mourning process. By distilling memories, the handmade object is no longer a thing it possesses psychological significance. These indicators can be represented through the importance of familial heritage. Russell W. Belk in the essay, Possessions of the Extended Self, believes that possessions are a convenient means of storing the

memories and feelings that attach our sense of past (148). For example, an heirloom recalls family heritage much like a national monument that memorializes the nations history (Belk 148). Heirlooms are objects that become relics to symbolize former generations that are now gone from the physical world. Similar to a monument, an heirloom commemorates heritage and ancestry. Objects that are handcrafted by the deceased are extremely relevant in the heirloom as sacred object. The creator retains identity to the object as long as it remains associated to the maker (Belk 150). With the time taken to construct a quilt, a stool or a dollhouse, intimacy and dedication of the self involvement in the completion of the object becomes attached to an individuals self and identity. A sense of family history is enriched by the continuation of a skill particular to generations past the inheritance of a lifestyle or career path is a sacred process. By accrediting ancestry through the act of making, the craft learned becomes a bridge between the veil of life and death, bringing those survived much closer to the deceased with the participation of in the skill-set taught or valued by the absent. Similar to the sentimental, the act of making can bring about memories of loved ones, like a keepsake that transports the owner to an experience that has become sacred. Sonya Clark, a fibers artist, acknowledges her ancestors as the igniters of her passion for craft. Clark treats her skill much like an heirloom a cherished possession that connects her to her childhood memories. The wisdom of the hands that once wrought tools of a craftsperson motivate her desire to continue in the intimate conversation between the hand and the medium (Halper 39). She says, it is to this notion and legacy that I dedicate my own making: the hands that preceded

me, those of my ancestors known and unknown, wise and knowledgeable hands, the hands that imbued objects with their stories (Halper 39). Again, the empowerment and psychic energy of mythical storytelling accelerates interest from the survived to infuse meanings into the object, or in this case, the act. Most importantly, Clarks craft memorializes her grandmother who inspired her to become the craftsperson she has excelled in today. Yet every time I thread a needle, the memory of her is conjured. For a moment, I am ten again, at her knee, hearing her voice. Once the medium is engaged, the stories rush in and her presence is felt (Halper 39). Clarks hands, through the act of making, become the capsule and conjure ghostly memories of cherished experiences during her youth. The craftsperson, as a maker of objects, understands the relationship of the hand to the head and heart. Immanuel Kant said, The hand is the visible part of the brain (Clark 39). Making as a response to the mourning of a loved one helps in coping with the trauma of loss while promoting the ability to accept death. A fibers artist, Lois Bryant, began to focus solely on her weaving during the mourning process of her deceased daughter as a way of getting on with life without abandoning the past (42). While keeping the hands busy, the mind is allowed to become numb or to sift through memories of the deceased. During the experience of making, the self has composed its own being of presence and absence the body chooses what is present for the activity and what is free of emotional weight (DuBose 370). Bryant claims this repetition and continuance of her weaving helped to get her through the darkest of days (43). In the case of making as healing, the

craftspersons head can be absent from the process and is able to simply trust the wisdom of their own hands. The effort of distracting the grief that occupies the mind during the healing process can be numbed by disrupting the harshness of reality through the outlet of creativity. In the essay The Work of Mourning, the French author Georges Perec is discussed as a writer who found consolation from working through his own grief. His mother died in Auschwitz while his father was killed as a soldier in the war, leaving him an orphan and left with a burden of sorrow that remained with him for the rest of his life (Motte 56). Perecs sustained mourning was evident in his writings, which provided a source of emotional healing if only as a means to carry on with his own life. Perec undertook in work as a tool to cope (Motte 58). It presents itself as effort, as labor, as toil, and as behavior that is above all purposeful. Perec seeks an active engagement with his grief, recognizing that, if left unattended and undirected, it would threaten to cripple him (Motte 58). In text from Perecs W Ou le Souvenir Denfance, his necessity for writing as a means of survival is projected: I write: I write because we lived together, because I was one amongst them, a shadow amongst their shadows, a body close to their bodies. I write because they left me in their indelible mark, whose trace is writing. Their memory is dead in writing; writing is the memory of their death and the assertion of my life (Motte 61-2). Fortitude against sadness comes from the act of erecting pieces of work; the ability to prevail in the battle of grief exists as a solitary exercise of the self.

However, the actions of the survived are supplemented in order to continue daily life. The response to bereavement, both inward grief and outward mourning, are treated differently both within the private sphere and societal structures. None the more ostentatious and dramatic is the Victorian era; death and grief became romanticized by the mourning process and had cultivated into a public necessity. Outside of the house where death had occurred, the blinds were drawn, black crepe was tied in great bows on the doors brass knockers and the processional routes were lined with the crepe as well (Curl 7). Such display of mourning became a ritual within the Victorian age if families did not participate, no matter the class, it was disrespectful to the dead as well as the community (Curl 7). It was during this time that mourning jewelry became in vogue, as a way of representing the deceased through adornment. Though decorative and indicative of mourning to others, the personal implications the jewelry held evolved into deeply private symbols that addressed the survivors loss and memorialized the deceased. The miniature portrait, specifically, became the purveyor of such ideas. These small-scale works of art embodied the intimacy of jewelry by its outward public display that was also embedded with private meaning, immortalizing a loved one. In the book Love and Loss, Robin Jaffee Frank says the portrait replaced the public language that was missed in order to express an individuals loss (123). Mourning miniatures express a private grief in a public language that was understood by the mourners family, friends and neighbors (Frank 123). Even though such grandiose symbols of mourning are no longer practiced, the necessity of the object remains constant

through history. Mourning jewelry encompassed nostalgia for moments preceded as they also encompassed a private yearning for what has been lost similar to the role of the heirloom or keepsake. The advent of mourning jewelry in the mid-19th century enhanced the psychological value of a pendant or locket, protecting what wished to be hidden while exposing the fact that the wearer was performing the outward display of mourning. Marcia Pointon, in the article Surrounded by Brilliants: Miniature Portraits in Eighteenth-Century England, attests to the fact that the psychological functionality of the portrait miniature oscillated between the self and the absent; it refined the immediacy of memory and fashioned a longing for the person depicted within the portrait (63). In order to complete the function of the portrait miniature, the implication of distance between the owner and the embodied image is essential in its sacred narrative (Pointon 63). The object, being held and gazed at, sets up the fluctuation between affirmative self recognition and the frustration of the disunified body (Pointon 63). The gaze of the owner can only be temporarily satisfied by the depiction of the absent presented on the miniature and its comfort facilitates the pain of disconnect. Jewelrys ability to be held increases the intimacy of the miniature whether worn on the body for public display or held in the palm of the hand to caress. Even though adornment of the body focalizes in attracting the attention of others, sentimental jewelry shields the viewer from complete understanding, thus recognizing the intimate psychological interaction between the deceased and the survived.

Within the contemporary jewelry realm, the concept of mourning jewelry has almost completely faded into the pages of historical jewelry books, leaving the outward emotion and significance of mourning to be a concealed and internal practice completed by the individual. The modern standards of mourning have completely shunned the communal practices of the Victorian era, allowing unsatisfactory time for the heart to heal. As an artist or maker, the time spent at the bench, in the studio, and within a sketchbook become a time of solitude and inner peace. Jewelry artist, Constanze Schrieber, elevated the act of making one step further. By appropriating the functionality of mourning jewelry in the Victorian era, Schreiber translated the power that resonated from the mourning jewelry of past and began to challenge the lack of outward grief in contemporary society. The result of the concept was fleshed out in Abschiedsfest, where she included symbols of mortality, such as skulls, in addition to applying symbolic value to her process. Schreibers intensely personal pendant, Portrait I, exemplifies this progression (Fig. 1). The porcelain pendant was constructed with two cast silver horns attached on either side. When the piece was fired, the silver melted into the cracks of the porcelain pendant, dissolving the silver that once existed and filled in errors of the porcelains surface (Schreiber). Conceptually, when knowing the process in her creation of the necklace, the viewer can understand her need to dissipate her pain and fill in the indentations from the void once filled by a loved one. A personal memory creates preciousness in the act and the finalization of creating an object (Schreiber). The memory of the pre-fired horns became a private narrative shared intimately with the self. The outward symbolic worth of Portrait I provides

symbolic imagery for the viewer while fulfilling Schreibers private conversation as means to mourn. Jewelry is an intimate object on its own its scale, small in nature, is easily carried with the body. It provides a direct form of bodily contact, concealed or revealed, its meanings differentiating between public and private conversations. Jewelry makers understand the idea of intimacy in relation to the body, enhancing its isolated symbol of private functionality. In Sentimental Cuts, this idea is exposed in saying the ambiguous structure of revealed function and hidden story is condensed in the jewelry because it exposes the value of the object and connects it to the intimate sphere of the body (Holm 140). The participants within this private conversation conduct a secretive form of seclusion from others (Holm 140). The sentimental value of jewelry seems to be a unique object of sacredness; jewelry provides both private isolatory moments with displaying public adornment. Finding the balance of psychological comfort through such objects while still maintaining the public mourning ritual all belong in the process of healing. Bereavement cuts deep into the soul, but the object is the bandage on the incision of grief it comforts and partakes in storytelling as a means to heal. The value, condition or age of an object is irrelevant when considering its preciousness and inherited sacredness. As triggers of memory, a certain few sentimentals stitch together time the past and present are once again reunited after the loss of a loved one. The sewing machine not only reminds me of my grandmother, but of her love for making things which, in turn, confirms my decision to be a maker as well. From making objects, I am memorializing her memory and by keeping bits of her

extended self within my private sphere, I feel that she is close by, snipping off loose threads and winding her bobbin.

Fig 1. Portrait I by Constanze Schreiber. Constanze Schreiber. Web. 20 May 2011. < http://www.constanzeschreiber.com/site/en/2/18/5>.

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