Mission: Connecting Youth to their Purpose In Christ Vision 1: Youth Grounded in Christ and Equipped for Service Vision

2: To be the authority on Youth Ministry in SA

Red: The sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ Yellow: The fire of the Holy Spirit Blue: the cleansing

Result?

By of the blood of Jesus Christ, youth become empowered by the fire of the Holy Spirit, to cleansed and committed and obedient to God 4Life

And so they are: vSouled out 4Christ 4Life.

WORK IT OUT [All Counselors] Now so we keep saying its not legalistic its not about work. So what do we work out with fear and trembling Points to remember 1) 2) 3) 4) God loves you so much Hes willing to let you hurt Him [Hosea 3] God loves you so much Hes willing to let you kill Him [Psalms 22] God is so powerful He talks and things have to happen [Genesis 1] God always gets His way with a true believer, an obeyer, a worshipper [ void ] 5) God wants to save you [John 3] 6) God wants you to get to know Him [John 16] 7) God lives inside the believer [John 14] 8) God is inside you right now working on your mind and your spirit [Philipians 2] 9) God does everything [Romans 8 not by faith boast] So whats my part in all this? Pursue God the same way you would the love of your life. Search for intimacy. Hunt for His mind. Chase His love. Dig deep into His heart. How? In comes Prayer | Bible study

MORNING MANNAH Prayer SESSION 1: [Divide into two pieces 10 mintues each] This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears uswhatever we askwe know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14 Pre-requisites to prayer
(1) Personal relationship with Jesus Christ as ones Savior.

John 14:6
(2) Walking in fellowship: Sins confessed and Spirit-controlled.

Psalm 66:18
(3) Living by the Word (cf. Ps. 119).

Proverbs 28:9 John 15:7

(4) Praying in faith trusting in the will of God.

Matthew 21:22 Prayer is personal but if we model biblical prayer they all share the following. Pieces of Prayer if you try to keep these pieces regularly in your prayer life you will experience a deeper walk with God 1.Thanks/Praise/Worship (connect) it sets your heart/mind on the right track. You cant really worship God and not be connected give a few examples out loud 2. Confession (get right with God)- our biggest problem as Christians is guilt. Christianity doesnt have to be a guilt trap. Get rid of the guilt so you can move on to deeper stuff. Discuss why this is so important? 3. For others (put youre life on the line) intercession is Christ. Compassion comes from the heart of God. It says a lot about your relationship with Him by your ability to pray for others. If you want to get into God deeper, you have to imitate Him. Sacrifice yourself for others especially in prayer. What does that mean? 4. For yourself (needs vs wants based approach) God knows what you eed. So why ask Him? Simpleso you can both discuss it. God wants to engage your hearts desires. Also God wants to be there for your not be there for your shopping list. But a heart aligned with the heart of God can ask for both needs and wants and get both. The answer depends on faith. - Share with each other different times in your life when God has come through for you. - How does it make you feel hearing other peoples testimonies of how God came through? (challenging and encouraging) - How does it make you feel remembering how God has come through for you over the years? (why count your blessings) Now spend individual time as each member and Go through the 4 stes in an individual prayer THANKS | CONFESSION | FOR OTHERS | FOR YOURSELF

MORNING MANNAH SESSION 2: Experiencing the Prayer life of Christ Goals for this session to open your mind and heart afresh to the prayer life of Christ to help you anticipate and recognise the activity of God in your prayer life as He conforms you to the image of His Son to exhort you to obey and respond to all of the fullness of God Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as He develops your prayer life to help you see the urgency of the hour we live in

to show that immediate and thorough obedience is key to a power packed prayer life The desire for you that we have as 4Life is that this is not just more information but that turns into a life-changing encounter with Christ. I real-life WOWmoment. The Bible is full of wonderful passages about Scripture but nothing beats or nothing models or demonstrates the power of prayer that God wants for our life, like our Lord Jesus Christ. END TIMES: Weve reached a point in universal history where we dont siimply need more payer. We need the prayers of Christ to become our prayers. We need His power, His connection, His faith, His hearing, His obedience, His Guidance. His Holy Spirit.

MISCONCEPTIONS: 1) Theres a big difference between Christs prayer life and mine. A gap. And its sooo big! 2) Ill never experience the dynamic characteristics of the prayer life of Jesus THE RIGHT STUFF NEEDS THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

1) Dont become discouraged, ask Lord why is there this difference between Christs prayer life and mine? 2) Why? : Through the Holy Spirit God desires us to be just like Jesus in every way to be conformed into the image of His Son Romans 8:29, Galatians 2:20 The Jesus Model 1) DMP (deep meaning prayersation) Luke 5:16 Jesus always found time to be alone with His Father. You need to have that special time. [Ask if campers have it] 2) Make it special (find early morning hours time) Mark1:35/Luke 6:12 Jesus used this time because He knew there would be no distractions and it was totally private. Our days are packed. Find a time that suits you. But before you knock it , try it the way He did. See what happens. The Father wants us to imitate and be empowered by the life of Christ. Find regular planned solitary times for prayer. [ask if they agree with waking up and why] 3) You can be just like Christ. But Jesus was the son of God, of course His prayer life was oustanding theres plenty in the Bible to refute the implication that we cant have what Jesus had. Hebrews 5:7-9/Phil 2:7-8 [how close to your nature was Jesus nature. If its close and He expereinced victory can you?] 4) Always make it real. Especially when its hard and your not feeling it. offered petitions (for everyone else) and supplications (for Himself) With vehement cries and tears. Hebrews 5:7 [discuss the implications, why tears, why pray for others and Himself habitually] 5) The relationship: is God your real Father, really. Jesus said God is your Father. Do you believe it? If you dont how does it affect your prayer life that you believe in God being God but not in Him being your Father Luke 11:2/Luke 3:21 [Jesus said He was in His Fathers bossom while He walked here on earth, and you? How does it make you feel that the person sitting next to you shares the same Father? Heaven opened up for Jesus when He prayed and the Holy Spirit came down, how bout for you?] 6) Jesus reverenced His Father with those tears: Hebrews 5:7 Jesus was heard because of His submissive reverent attitude. [What attitude do you have when you pray, how can you be boldy reverent? How can you be comfortably and reassuringly submissive? Is it possible that youre attitude of submission and reverence has an element for fear and separation? And maybe then youre missing out on deep intimacy with an

Almighty God in your prayer life. Jesus was God with us Immanuel yet He feared His Father. How bout me and you? Discuss] Summary and time for prayer as individuals then facilitator close it up 1) choose a place make it special, make it holy (devil cant come in) 2) choose a time make it a date, make it deep (treat God special) 3) pray with intensity make it real, make it intimate (when ur not feeling it then pray about not feeling it, when your feeling it sing cry weep laugh shout) .. see why you need youre privacy? Thats why Jesus sought high mountains to be real honest alone deeply undistracted and intensely focused. Will you commit to finding your prayer time and climbing your prayer mountain?

MeFirst!
Thesuccesstocultivatingmeaningfulrelationshipswithothersiswhollydependant ontherelationshipwehavewithourselves.Knowingoneselfisdifficultbecauseit requiresdeepintrospection.Itmeansbeingwillingtoseeoneselfwithoutbiasand defensivenessanditrequiresexercisingthecouragetofaceonesownfears.Before onecanmanageandleadtheworldaroundoneself,oneneedstoestablishadeep understandingofonesownself,whichcanbecategorisedunderthefollowing headings:
Basicmotivation Corefears Bestenvironment Whatyouacceptandreject Majorstrengths Majorweaknesses Communication Emotionalresponse Valuetoateam Behaviourundertension TimeManagement Decisionmaking Relationalneeds

Selfawarenessleadstoselfimprovementandselfcorrection,whichultimately arrivesatselfacceptanceforthematureindividual.

Christian Growth Tools

1. Self-discovery: what kind of life are you living?
1. Natural Man (one who has not received Christ) "A natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised" (1 Corinthians 2:14).

2. Spiritual Man (One who is directed and empowered by the Holy Spirit) "He who is spiritual appraises all things...We have the mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:15).

3. Carnal Man (One who has received Christ, but who lives in defeat because he is trying to live the Christian life in his own strength)

"And I brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to carnal men, as to babes in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still carnal. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshy, and are you not walking like mere men?" (1 Corinthians 3:1-3).

2. What if I find myself sinning now and then?

Salvation in Christ provides us with the means of dealing with sin in a victorious way, but it does not exempt us from the problem of sin and the temptation to sin. Our attitude and commitment is to be (a) that we do not sin (1 John 2:1), (b) that we must not continue in sin that grace might abound (Rom. 6:1). Being human, however, we are going to sin as long as we are in this life. This is clearly stated in 1 John 1:82:2.

1 John 1:5-10: What promise does God keep? He forgives the confessed sins, and also cleanses the Christian from all unrighteousness. But How? 2 Samuel 11 tells the story of David and Bathsheba Immediately after this whole thing takes place, Nathan confronts David [2 Samuel 12]. After the confrontation David writes this Psalm showing the process he walks through coming out of a life of sin. 1. Change of Mind and confession [verse 1-6]

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Recognizes some things about God: unfailing love, great compassion In midst of his pain hes acknowledging these two attributes of God Recognizes some things about himself: hes sinned, he needs cleansing from God only He can do it, and David has a desire to have it all washed away. He has a desire to be sinless sin is heavy on his heart. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Recognizes that sin is against God and He has total right to judge David. Gods thoughts all are that matter. Recognizes that hes always been a sinner Acknowledges that God wants truth in his inner most being and that He needs God to teach him wisdom he doesnt naturally have it on his own.

First John 1:8-10 directs our attention to the following three aspects of confession: (a) Confession of the principle or guilt of sin; (b) confession of particular sins; and (c) confession of the practice of sin.
(1) Confession is a responsibility to truly see our sin for what it is. It is harmful to us and others, dishonoring to God, ugly, and as that which needs not only Gods forgiveness for continued fellowship with Him, but removal from our lives by His enabling grace. We dare not treat sin lightly. We are to come to hate sin as God does. Proverbs 28:13-14 (2) Confession is the call to be ruthlessly honest with ourselves about our sin and what God defines as sin in His Word. Our tendency is to avoid facing the reality of personal sin. We tend to rationalize it, deny it, or blame it on others as Adam and Eve did when confronted by God in Genesis 3:7-13.

There is humility here in regards to his sin. When Nathan confronted him he couldve been totally hard hearted, bitter, etc. but instead he approached his life humbly, and listened. Our first inclination (typically) when someone confronts us

is to defend ourselves. This is pride/arrogance, not a proper perspective. What we see here is David recognizing his need for God!!!! 2. Desire to be Cleansed and Restored [verse 7-12] Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 1. Hyssop: plant found in rock crevices shape allowed it to be used like a paint brush and was used to sprinkle blood in OT ceremonies 2. Bones you have crushed: theres a brokenness that occurred. 3. Hide your face from my sins: sense of the shame he feels here 4. Create in me a pure heart: comes from God 5. renew a steadfast spirit within me: he wants to give up. He was broken to a point where he just didnt even think he could go any longer. 6. Restore to me the joy of your salvation: obviously is in a lot of pain 7. grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me: he needs something to keep him going. 3. Accept and Believe for your Forgiveness Once we have this change of mind, an honest desire to be forgiven by God, and understand the way God works with forgiveness we will then have a change in attitude toward life. Just 10 chapters after his episode with Bethsheba and Nathan, David writes this: 2 Sam 22:21-25 The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not done evil by turning from my God. All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees. I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin. The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight. 1. To most of us, we would think David is a complete hypocrite, but thats only because we dont truly understand Gods mercy and forgiveness. He does! 2. When you have a change of mind about sin, confess that sin to God (agree with Him on it), you will have a changed perspective. 3. You are freed. 4. Shame, or guilt is not from the Lord!

5. Once we truly repent we stand before God as a holy and righteous person (Ephesians 1:1-3). When we mis-understand Gods forgiveness we shrink back into our guilt and shame - out of ministry and being a part of what God is doing in the world. This is the most detrimental thing to the Christian. 4. Change of Attitude [verse 13-17] Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Once David agreed with God about his sin, hes restored into a right relationship with Him. He is also reengaging in ministry by teaching people out of his brokenness. As a college-age person you need to understand that God can and does use your brokenness. However, you must first understand that shame does not come from God, it comes from sin. Understanding the grace and forgiveness of God catapults us into a life of ministry and engagement with the God who forgives. How does God Deal with our Sin? Christ is our Advocate-Rom 8:34, Rev 12:10, Luke 22-31-32 Christ is our Propitiation-2 Cor 5:14-15, 19; Heb 2:9.

3. Reading the Bible

Hebrews 4:12 begins with, "For the word of God is living and active..." (NIV) Now slow down and read the book verse by verse, breaking down the text, looking for deeper understanding. Are you starting to get excited about Bible study? What a powerful statement! Now let's see what it looks like under a microscope, as we begin breaking down the text. Using a Bible dictionary, look up the meaning of the word living in the original language. It is the Greek word 'Za' meaning, "not only living, but causing to live, vivifying, quickening."

You start to see a deeper meaning: "God's Word causes life to come about; it quickens." Because God's Word is alive, you can study the same passage several times and continue to discover new, relevant applications throughout your walk of faith. Therefore, putting aside all malice and all guile and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babes, long for the pure milk of the word, that by it you may grow in respect to salvation. 1 Peter 2:1-2 Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word. 10 With all my heart I have sought Thee; Do not let me wander from Thy commandments. 11 Thy word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against Thee. Why Read the Bible? Sword_______________________________________________________ Critic/Judge__________________________________________________ Lamp/Light___________________________________________________ Mirror______________________________________________________ Rain/Water___________________________________________________ Food/Bread___________________________________________________ Gold /Silver__________________________________________________ Fire________________________________________________________ Hammer_____________________________________________________ Seed________________________________________________________ Honey_______________________________________________________

How to read the Bible

Preparing to Truly Hear Gods Word Therefore Consider Carefully How You Listen (Luke 8:18) HUMBLE CONTRITE POOR Are we like the one God esteems or looks for in Isaiah 66:2 God is looking for people who have a holy reverence for the Word and His plan for learning and applying it. [Whats youre attitude when you open the Bible? Are you

reading or are you listening to the King of Kings] This means truly hearing Gods voice in the Word. God is the master communicator and biblical history is not only the story of redemption but it is also the story of communication and revelation from God. He encodes and transmits, and we are to decode and receive.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Pray Read. Refer Think Write it Down

The process looks something like this: COMMUNICATION: Listening to God COMPREHENSION: Understanding what God says CONFIDENCE: Trusting in what God says CHANGE: Being transformed by what God says

The Word-Filled Life Developing the Mind of Christ Because of what it is and does, the Bible is the most important book of the Christians life. Note the following sampling of verses:

Matthew 5:18-19 For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass away from the Law, until all is accomplished. 19 Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. [its not enough to know the Bible, God expects everyone to be able to teach from it because God wants us all to great in His eyes do you want to be great.. can you teach?] 2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. [do you want training? Are you willing to be trained? Sometimes our attitude makes the Bible just a story instead of magical book that can change you] 2 Peter 1:18-21 and we ourselves heard this utterance made from heaven when we were with Him on the holy mountain. 19 And so we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. 20 But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of ones own interpretation, 21 for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but

men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God. [ Did you know you can interact with the Holy Spirit every time you open the Bible? Can you commit to make a conscious effort to engage the Holy Spirit when you read it? Even if at first you dont know how to engage Him, are you willing? He can teach you as Jesus promised]

4. Seven Subtle Snares of Worldliness

1. Materialism * ExplanationMatter is all that matters. * Its DistortionDeformed view of the world. * The SnareI am what I own. * The EffectAffluence, accumulation, occupied with things, consumer mentality, neglect spiritual things. 2. Activism * ExplanationI must fill my life with activity. * Its DistortionDeformed view of work. Seeking from work what only God can give. * The SnareI am what I do, what I produce. * The EffectNeurotic, consuming ministry. Seeking significance from work rather than from the Lord. 3. Individualism * ExplanationI must depend on no one but myself. * Its DistortionDeformed view of self. Produces a me-ism society. * The SnareI am the source of my own life. * The EffectLoneliness, resistance to authority, inability to work on a team. 4. Conformism * ExplanationRecognition by others is primary and necessary. * Its DistortionDeformed view of the importance or the opinions of others. * The SnareI am who others recognize me to be. * The EffectPraise dependent, seeking significance from the approval of others. 5. Relativism * ExplanationIt matters not what you believe as long as you believe something. * Its DistortionDeformed view of truth. Refuses to recognize revealed truth. * The SnareI am whatever I want to believe. * The EffectSubjective approach to life, to Scripture; experience oriented, uncertain faith, emotional. 6. Secularism * ExplanationMan has no need of religion. Man is sufficient.

* * *

Its DistortionDeformed view of man. Fails to take into account mans sinfulness. The SnareI am sufficient to handle my affairs. The EffectSunday only kind of Christian. Fail to integrate God into all areas of life or reject God completely.

7. Religionism * ExplanationIf I am good, go to church, etc., I will be okay. * Its DistortionDeformed view of God. * The SnareI am okay because of my religious works and activities. * The EffectHave some facts about God, engaged in some religious activity, but lacking in inner reality. Fail to integrate God into all areas of life.

Biblical Solutions 1. Materialism * Biblical ValueSpiritual and eternal values, treasures. * ResponsibilityRenewal, reevaluation, trust in God rather than in things. * ResultAbility to follow God, ministry, laying up eternal treasures.

2. Activism * Biblical ValueChrist-directed ministry, His initiative. * ResponsibilityFellowship, prayer, sensitivity, openness. * ResultPeace, fruitfulness, rest, absence of burnout.

3. Individualism * Biblical ValueBody life, co-worker, no man an island. * ResponsibilityTeam work, submission to others, loving one another. * ResultEdification of the body. 4. Conformism * Biblical ValueBiblical sense of who I am in Christ. Accepted, belong, capable. * ResponsibilityLearn to live as unto the Lord while resting in Him for my significance. * ResultContent, relaxed, able to love others and put them above self. 5. Relativism * Biblical ValueBiblical absolutes based on the index of the Bible. * ResponsibilityObjective Bible study based on exegesis, not eisegesis. * ResultConfidence, divine guidance, knowing truth which gives freedom. 6. Secularism * Biblical ValueBiblical view of God and man.

* *

ResponsibilityTotal dependence on God. ResultExperience God in all areas of life.

7. Religionism * Biblical ValueFinished work of Christ plus obedience. * ResponsibilityRest in Christs work, honesty, openness, worship, faith.

ResultAbility to truly love God and people.

Getting to know the Holy Spirit - ANDREW While there is a degree of divine mystery to the nature of the Holy Spirit, He definitely is not a bundle of warm feelings or good memories. Neither is He a vague cosmic force. In this lesson, you will study biblical evidence proving that the Holy Spirit is a real person who loves and cares for you. You will also discover why He came and how He can make a difference in your life.

1. Personality (a person) is composed of intellect, emotions, and will. In I Corinthians 2:11, what indicates that the Holy Spirit has intellect? What evidence do you observe in Romans 15:30 that the Holy Spirit has emotions? How does the Holy Spirit exercise His will as recorded in I Corinthians 12:11?

2. Find the word that describes the nature of the Holy Spirit in each of the following references. (John 16:13, Romans 8:2, Hebrews 10:29, Romans 1:4)

3. What is His function, or role? (John:14:16,26, I Corinthians 3:16, John 16:13-14, Acts 1:8)

4. What specific actions does the Holy Spirit perform? (Acts 13:2, Acts 8:29, Romans 8:14, John 16:7-8, Romans 8:26, II Thessalonians 2:13)

5. What are His attributes? (Hebrews 9:14, Psalm 139:7, I Corinthians 2:10-11) Why Did He Come?

1. What is the chief reason the Holy Spirit came? (John 16:14)

2. What will be the logical result when the Holy Spirit controls your life? How does the diagram below compare with your life?

3. How does the diagram below compare with your life?

Life Application 1. Write one new insight you have gained from this lesson concerning the Holy Spirit:

2. In what area of your life do you believe the Holy Spirit needs to be more in control?

3. What will be the result when He is in control?

The Work of the Holy Spirit 1. Explain in your own words what the Holy Spirit does for the Christian according to the following verses. (Romans 8:16, Romans 8:26-27)

The Results of Being Filled with the Holy Spirit 1. Can a person be a Christian and not have the Holy Spirit dwelling in Him? (Romans 8:9) Explain.

2.

What is the main reason to be filled with the Holy Spirit? (Acts 1:8, Acts 4:29,31)

Life Application 1. Complete the list below: HOW I VIEWED THE HOLY SPIRIT IN THE PAST:

HOW I VIEW THE HOLY SPIRIT NOW:

2. Are you filled with the Holy Spirit? How do you know?

3. Do you really desire to be filled with the Holy Spirit? Why?

How you can be filled with the Holy Spirit What You Must Know 1. What is the command found in Ephesians 5:18?

2. What is the promise found in I John 5:14-15?

3. According to these Scriptures, why do you need to be filled with the Spirit? (Galatians 5:22-23, Acts 1:8)

The fruit of the Spirit is never an end in itself, but only a means to the end. We win men and women to Christ, which in turn brings glory and honor to Him. (John 15:8) What You Must Feel 1. What is one prerequisite to being filled with the Spirit according to Matthew 5:6?

2. How are you applying this to your life?

What You Must Do 1. If your desire to be filled with the Spirit is sincere, what will you do now? (Romans 12:1-2)

This means there can be no unconfessed sin in your life. The Holy Spirit cannot fill an unclean vessel. He waits to fill you with His power.

2. How then are you filled with the Holy Spirit? (Matthew 7:7-11, John 7:37-39)

3. Will the Holy Spirit fill you if you ask Him? How do you know? (I John 5:14-15)

Life Application 1. You can be filled with the Holy Spirit only by faith. Prayer is one way of expressing your faith. If you truly desire to be filled with the Holy Spirit, you can pray this prayer now:

Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have been directing my own life and that, as a result, I have sinned against you. I thank you that you have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite you to again take your place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as you commanded me to be filled. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank you for taking control of my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. 2. What must you have when you ask Him to fill you? (Hebrews 11:6)

If you have asked the Holy Spirit to fill you, thank Him. God is dependable; His word is true. If you are sincere, He has filled you.

3. What should be your attitude from this day forward? (I Thessalonians 5:18) Fact, Faith, and Feelings 1. Fact: Why should we be filled with the Spirit? (Ephesians 5:18)

2. Faith: What is our assurance that we have been filled with the Spirit? (I John 5:14-15)

3. Feelings: When you were filled with the Spirit, did you feel any different? Do not depend upon feelings. The promise of God's word, not our feelings, is our authority. The Christian lives by faith in the trustworthiness of God Himself and His Word.

This train diagram illustrates the relationship among fact (God and His Word), faith (our trust in God and His Word), and feelings (the result of our faith and obedience). (John 14:21) The train will run with or without the caboose. However, it would be futile to attempt to pull the train by the caboose. In the same way, we do not depend upon feelings or emotions, but we place our faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God and the promise of His Word. Life Application Though you may not be aware of a change immediately, with the passing of time you will see some evidence of your being filled with the Spirit. If there is no change, the Holy Spirit is not in charge. 1. Do you think a person can be filled with the Holy Spirit and not be aware of it? Explain your answer.

2. Ask yourself these questions: Do you have a greater love for Christ? Do you have a greater love for God's word? Is prayer more important to you? Are you more concerned for those who do not know Christ as Savior? Are you experiencing a greater boldness, liberty, and power in witnessing?

Faith under Fire

Classic situation
Troubling event ________________________________________________________________ _________ Element of injustice and unfairness ________________________________________________________________ _________ Silent God who could have intervened but didnt ________________________________________________________________ _________ A million unanswered questions ________________________________________________________________ _________

Exercise 1: Life Stress Test

a) In the last 12 months, which of the following major life events have taken place in your life? b) Put a tick on the left of each event that you have experienced this year c) On the right fill in the points for each event. d) When you have finished, add up your total score. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. ___ Death of spouse ___ Divorce ___ Marital separation ___ Jail term ___ Death of a close family member ___ Personal injury or serious illness ___ Marriage ___ Fired from work ___ Marital reconciliation 100 73 65 63 63 53 50 47 45 45 44 ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____

10. ___ Retirement 11. ___ Change in family members health

12. ___ Pregnancy 13. ___ Sex difficulties 14. ___ Addition to family 15. ___ Business readjustment 16. ___ Change in financial status 17. ___ Death of a close friend 18. ___ Change to a different line of work

40 39 39 39 38 37 36 35

____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____

19. ___ Change in number of marital arguments 20. ___ Mortgage or loan over R100 000 21. ___ Change in work responsibilities 22. ___ Trouble with in-laws 23. ___ Outstanding personal achievement 24. ___ Spouse begins or stops work 25. ___ Starting or finishing school 26. ___ Change in living conditions 27. ___ Change in personal habits 28. ___ Trouble with boss 29. ___ Change in work hours/conditions 30. ___ Change in residence 31. ___ Change in schools 32. ___ Change in recreational habits 33. ___ Change in church activities 34. ___ Change in social activities 35. ___ Mortgage or loan under R10 000 36. ___ Change in sleeping habits 31 29 29 28 26 26 25 24 23 20 20 20 19 19 18 17 16

37. ___ Change in number of family gathering 15 38. ___ Change in eating habits 15

39. ___ Holiday 40. ___ Christmas season 41. ___ Minor violations of the law

13 12 11

____ ____ ____

Your total score:

This scale shows the kind of life pressure that you are facing. Depending on your coping skills and ability to deal with stress (or inability to deal with stress), this scale can predict the likelihood of you falling victim to a stress-related illness.

Life Stress Scores: 0 - 149 50 - 299 Low susceptibility to stress-related illness

Medium susceptibility to stress-related illness: Learn and practise relaxation and stress management skills, as well as a healthy lifestyle. 300 + High susceptibility to stress-related illness: Daily practice of relaxation skills is very important to your well-being. Take care of it now before a serious illness occurs.

Signs and Symptoms of Stress

Physical Headaches and pain in the neck Diarrhoea / Constipation Trembling Sweaty hands Sleeplessness Pounding Heart Nervousness Emotional Anxiety Negativity Depression Angry outbursts Lack of interest Uncontrollable crying Lack of patience Cognitive Lack of concentration Obsession with the past Attention deficit Forgetfulness Negative selfevaluation Less creativity Behavioural Under-eating Over-eating Social withdrawal Excessive anger Nervous laughter Compulsive behaviour

Mistakes in judging Carelessness

distances Muscle tightness Extreme fatigue Stuttering Obsession Low self-esteem Over-alertness Disorganisation Feeling of being trapped Extreme fantasy life Substance abuse Aggressive driving Listlessness

Signs and Symptoms of Depression

Emotionally gloomy, often irritable. Cognitively

Behaviour

hopeless, slowness of the normal Reduced activity, is tired, process, insomnia, increased worrying, /decreased sex drive, negative increased /decreased self-blame appetite, self-cutting, dangerous behaviour obsessive indecisiveness, self-image,

socially withdrawn and thought

and delusions of guilt

Survival Tools
1. Identify the enemy and his weapons All Christians fall into one of three categories, where do you fall?:
In a fight with the devil Just come out of a fight with the devil On their way to a fight with the devil

Satan is not just the adversary, he is YOUR adversary, destroying YOU, stealing from YOU. Lying to YOU, destroying YOU. He does not play fair (remember how he took everything from Job). In what areas of your life do you see this? ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ Isaiah 54:17____________________________________________________________ ___

________________________________________________________________ ________ ________________________________________________________________ ________ The devil has been getting humans to doubt Gods goodness from the Garden of Eden. Settle in your mind that God is good, then the devils schemes cannot affect you. Psalm 27:1314______________________________________________________________ ____ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ What is the devils objective? ________________________________________________________________ _________ What does this mean? ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ What can we do? 1 Peter 5:8-9 ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ Ephesians 6:10-17 ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________

________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ___________________________ 2. Dont stop believing Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). John 20:29. 2 Chronicles 32:31 ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ Our examples: Joseph, Moses, ________________________________________________________________ _________ Our prime example: Jesus (Mark 15:34) ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________

PAUSE: But this is so hard!!! Well, lets keep it all in perspective: Be still and know

God has NO obligation to answer your prayers ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ __________________Matthew 11:1-10 tells us a very important principle: He is able________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ In John11:4 we realize that Mary and Marthas faith was already strong enough to believe Him for healing but God wanted to take them to another level. They needed to have a greater opinion of Him than they had before. In which areas of your life have you witnessed this? ________________________________________________________________ _____ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ___________________________

There is a plan
1 Cor 10:13 tells us He will never give you more than you can bear. He KNOWS you. You are still Christian, right? Jeremiah 29:10-12. Most misunderstood verse as Christians tend to ignore verse 10.

In all things, GOD-Rom 8:28

Theologically: The Scriptures never attribute good will and active working to "all things." If good things are being made to happen, it is because God is at work, transforming "all things" into something it would not be on its own. To summarize . . . Romans 8:28is not about "all things working out" but rather about "God working in all situations." Dont bail out before all the pieces come together

OK! More tools... 3. Stand Firm

Eph 6: 10-13 Having done all to STAND

Christian life is not the absence of storms but the ability to stand after storms. So actually the storm does not come to harm you but rather to validate you faith and show those around you the power of faith. The fact that you are still standing when its all over shows that u are built on something that is worth them building on. Jeremiah 1:19. They will fight but not prevail. Fight is promised, but victory is promised. If they never fought you, you would not know your power to prevail. You will prevail. The fact that you are still standing after the weapon formed against you is PROOF God is victorious.

4. Attitude
Phill 4:12_____________________________________________________________ ____ ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ 2 Timothy 2:34____________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ ________

5. Be Comforted
He understands your pain-He wept. Who shall separate us from the love of God? Romans 8:35-39 He left so He could send you the comforter. With God, even when nothing is happening, something is happening. Luke24:13. Matthew 28:20____________________________________________________________ _ ________________________________________________________________ _________

Proverbs 18:24____________________________________________________________ _ ________________________________________________________________ _________ Psalm 34:18____________________________________________________________ __ ________________________________________________________________ _________ Isaiah 66:13____________________________________________________________ ___ ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________

6. Pray to Him
Phill 4:6 1 Peter 5:7

7. Dont miss the next level

The enemy sees your anointing, your gifting and talent. He sees your potential more than u do and also he see the evidence and signs of breakthrough. So many times, just before breakthrough, an attack is launched to keep it from happening. So when attacked, say My Lord Im under attack so something big is getting ready to happen. The devils just given himself away because he wouldnt be fighting me so hard if I didnt have something BIG coming. The devils attack is actually what will take u to your next level! E.g. Joseph. Moses, Jesus. Which period of your life have you been under attack the most and can you encourage yourself to get to the next level? ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _________________________

Lifeline Exercise

List 3 people who are your lifelines and can keep you accountable 1. 2. 3.

List 3 ways you could be a Lifeline for others 1. 2. 3.

EVANGELISMSTYLES
Questionnaire
Recordyourresponsetoeachofthe36statementsaccordingtowhetheryouthinkthe statementappliestoyou: 3Verymuch 2Somewhat 1Verylittle 0Notatall Whenyouarefinished,transferyourresponsestothegridattheendofthequestionnaire andtotaleachcolumn: _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ 7.Idonotshyawayfromputtingapersononthespotwhenitseemsnecessary. 6.Iseeneedsinpeoplelivesthatothersoftenoverlook. 5.IenjoyincludingoraddingnewpeopletoactivitiesIaminvolvedin. 4.Iamapeoplepersonwhoplacesahighvalueonfriendship. 3. I often tell stories about my personal experiences in order to illustrate a point I amtryingtomake. 2.Ihaveahardtimegettingoutofbookstoresorlibrarieswithoutgettingatleasta bookthatwillhelpmebetterunderstandissuesbeingdebatedinsociety. 1. In conversations, I like to approach topics directly, without much small talk or beatingaroundthebush.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

8.Itendtobeanalytical.

9. I often identify with others by using phrases like I used to think that too or I oncefeltthewayyoudo.

10.Otherpeoplehavecommentedaboutmyabilityfordevelopingnewfriendships.

11. To be honest, even if I know the answers, I am more comfortable having someonebetterqualifiedexplainChristianitytomyfriends.

12.Ifindfulfilmentinhelpingothers,ofteninbehindthescenesways.

13. I do not have a problem confronting my friends with the truth even if it risks hurtingtherelationship.

14. In conversations, I naturally focus on the questions that are holding up a personsspiritualprogress.

_____ 15. When I tell people of how I came to Christ, I have found that they have been interestedinhearingit. _____ _____ _____ _____ 19. I believe that real love often means telling someone the truth, even when it hurts. 18.Iprefertoshowlovethroughmyactionsmorethanmywords. 17.IfIknewofahighqualityoutreacheventthatmyfriendswouldenjoy,Iwould makeabigefforttobringthem. 16.Iwouldratherdelveintopersonallifeissuesthanabstracttheologicalideas.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

20.Ienjoydiscussionsanddebatesondifficultquestions.

21. I intentionally share my mistakes with others when it will help them relate to thesolutionsIhavefound.

22.Iprefergettinginvolvedindiscussionsconcerningapersonslifebeforedealing withthedetailsoftheirbeliefs.

23. I tend to watch for spiritually strategic events to bring people to (such as Christianconcerts,outreachevents,etc)

24.Whenpeoplearespirituallyclose,Ihavefoundthatmyquietdemonstrationsof Christianlovesometimesmakethemmorereceptive.

25.Amottothatwouldfitmeis:Makeadifferenceoramess,butdosomething.

26.Ioftengetfrustratedwithpeoplewhentheyuseweakargumentsorpoorlogic.

27.Peopleseeminterestedinhearingstoriesaboutthingsthathavehappenedinmy life.

28.Ienjoylongtalkswithfriends.

29.Iamalwayslookingforamatchbetweentheneedsandinterestsofmyfriends andthevariousevents,books,etc.,thattheywouldenjoyorbenefitfrom.

30.IfeelmorecomfortablephysicallyassistingapersoninthenameofChristthan gettinginvolvedinreligiousdiscussions.

31. I sometimes get in trouble for lacking gentleness and sensitivity in the way I interactwithothers.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____

32.Iliketogetattheunderlyingreasonsforopinionsthatpeoplehold.

33.IamstillamazedathowGodbroughtmetofaithinHimandIammotivatedto tellpeopleaboutit.

34.Peoplegenerallyconsidermetobeaninteractive,sensitive,andcaringkindof person.

35. A highlight of my week would be to take a guest with me to an appropriate churchevent.

36. I tend to be more practical and actionoriented than philosophical and idea oriented

Confrontational

Interpersonal

Invitational

Testimonial

Intellectual

1_____ 7_____ 13_____ 19_____ 25_____ 31_____ Totals

2_____ 8_____ 14_____ 20_____ 26_____ 32_____

3_____ 9_____ 15_____ 21_____ 27_____ 33_____

4_____ 10_____ 16_____ 22_____ 28_____ 34_____

5_____ 11_____ 17_____ 23_____ 29_____ 35_____

6_____ 12_____ 18_____ 24_____ 30_____ 36_____

Serving

TheConfrontationalStyle
BiblicalExample:PeterinActs2 ThemeVerse:2Timothy4.2 Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favourable or not. Patientlycorrect,rebuke,andencourageyourpeoplewithgoodteaching. Traits: Confident Hasstrongopinionsandconvictions Direct ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________

Cautions: BesuretoseekGodswisdomsoyouwillbeappropriatelysensitiveandtactful. ____________________________________________________________ Avoid judging or laying guilt trips on others who approach evangelism with a differentstyle. Suggestionsforusinganddevelopingthisstyle: KeepinmindPaulsphraseinEph.4,speakingthetruthinlove.Bothtruthand loveareessential. Prepareyourselfforsituationswhereyouwillstandalone(readaboutPeterinActs 2).Thenonbelieveryouconfrontwiththetruthwillsometimesfeeluncomfortable. Even nonconfrontational Christians who are with you will sometimes feel that discomfort.Thatsokay!UnderGodsguidancechallengepeopletotrustandfollow Christ,andHewilluseit.

Itiscriticalthatyoulistenandvaluewhatotherssaybeforetellingthemwhatyou thinktheyneedtohear.

IntellectualStyle
BiblicalExample:PaulinActs17 ThemeVerse:2Cor.10.5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture theirrebelliousthoughtsandteachthemtoobeyChrist. Traits: Analytical Likestodebate Moreconcernedwithwhatpeoplethinkthanwhattheyfeel __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________

Cautions: Avoidgettingstuckonacademicpoints,arguments,andevidence.Thesearemainly toclearthewaybacktothecentralGospelmessage. Suggestionsforusinganddevelopingthisstyle: Set time aside to study and prepare. This style, more than the others, relies on preparation.Takeseriousactiononwhatitsaysin1Peter3.15. Avoiddoingallthepreparationinanacademicvacuum.Getoutandtalktoothers. Try out your arguments and answers on real people, and make refinements as needed. 1Peter3.15saystohavegentlenessandrespect.

Talktopeopleabouteverydayevents,andwhatishappeningintheirlifeandyours.

TestimonialStyle
Biblicalexample:Johnthedisciplethatloved Themeverse:1John1.3a Weproclaimtoyouwhatweourselveshaveactuallyseenandheardsothatyoumay havefellowshipwithus. Traits: Seeslinksbetweentheirownexperienceandthatofotherpeoples Goodlistener _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________

Cautions: Be sure to relate your experience to the life of your listener. This requires first hearing enough about your friends life to know how to relate your story to their situation. Challengethemtoconsiderhowwhatyoulearnedmightapplytotheirlife. Avoiddownplayingthevalueofyourstorybecauseitseemstooordinary. Suggestionsforusinganddevelopingthisstyle: Practicesoyouwillbeabletotellyourstorywithouthesitations. KeepChristandthegospelmessageasthecentrepieceofyourstory.

Keepyourstoryfreshbyaddingnewandcurrentillustrationsfromyourdailywalk withChrist.

InterpersonalStyle
Biblicalexample:MatthewinLuke5 Themeverse:1Cor.9.22 Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. Traits: Cautions: TellingthemtheyaresinnersinneedofaSaviourwilltesttherelationship. Do not get so involved in the process of building friendships that you forget the ultimategoal:bringingpeopletoknowChristas__________and__________. DowhatyoucanandleavetheresttoGod. Suggestionsforusinganddevelopingthisstyle: Sensitive Friendshiporiented _________________________________ _________________________________ _________________________________

Thisstyletenstoworkmoregraduallythanothers.Lookandprayforopportunities toturnconversationstowardspiritualmatters.

Continually create and plan opportunities to interact with new people through social events, sports, etc. This will put you in a position where your style can flourish.

InvitationalStyle
Biblicalexample:___________________ Themverse:Luke14.23 So his master said, Go out into the country lanes and behind the hedges and urge anyoneyoufindtocome,sothatthehousewillbefull. Traits: Committed(believesinthethingsinwhichheorsheisinvolved) Persuasive __________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________

Cautions: Donotletothersdoallthetalkingforyou.Yourfriendsandacquaintancesneedto hear how Christ has influenced your own life. In addition, your friends have questionsyoucouldanswerconcerningtheimplicationsofthegospelintheirown lives. Lookforonesthataretrulysensitivetospiritualseekersthatwillhelpthemintheir journeytowardChrist. Their refusal could be an opportunity for a spiritual conversation. Also, their no todaymaybeayestomorrow.

Suggestionsforusinganddevelopingthisstyle: When inviting people, try to get written details about the event into their hands (eitherprintedorhandwrittenout). Atevents,putyourselfintheplaceoftheotherperson.Askyourselfifyouwerethat person, whether the event would relate to your concerns and mindset. Reinforce thosethingstothepersonyouinvited. Offer ______________ and ____________________ feedback to the event sponsors consisting ofspecificandrealisticideasonwaysyouthinktheycouldimprovetheeventand makeitmorecompellingtothepeopleyoubring.

ServingStyle
Biblicalexample:DorcasinActs9 Themeverse:Matthew5.16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone willpraiseyourheavenlyFather. Traits: Attachesvaluetomenialtasks Seesneedsandfindsjoyinmeetingthem _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

Cautions: Remember that although words are no substitute for actions, actions are no substituteforwords.InRomans10.14Paulsaysthatwemustverballytellpeople about Christ. You can do this in many ways as you point to Him as the central motivationforyouractsofservice. It is your style that will reach those persons who are the most negative and hardenedtowardGod.Actsoflovingservicearehardtoresistanddifficulttoargue with.

Donotdepriveyourselforyourfamilyofneededcareandattention.

Suggestionsforusinganddevelopingthisstyle: Find _________________, _______________ways to communicate the spiritual motivation behindthephysicalactsofserviceyouoffertoothers.Itcouldbethroughaword,a card,aninvitationinresponsetothanksforyourservice.

He will open your eyes to areas you would have missed. Be ready to follow His leadings,eveniftheyseemabitoutoftheordinary. Becarefulnottoimposeyourserviceonothers.Prayforwisdomsoyouwillknow wheretoinvestyoureffortsinwaysthatwillbestrategicfortheKingdomofGod.

Sharingyourtestimony

Whyyourstoryisimportant:
Ourfriendsareinterestedinwhathashappenedtous o WhatGodhasdoneinourlivesisanimportantpartofwhatwhowe are Ourfriendscanrelatetoit o Weallhaverelativelifeexperiences o Dont overload people with past experiences if it distracts for the centralmessageofthegospel Noonecanarguewithyourstory

Howtoorganizeyourstory: StoryTips:
Theme The central issue in our lives that shows the contrast in our spiritualoutlookbeforeandafterknowingChrist o Needstoanswerthequestion:HowamIdifferent? o Whyisthisimportanttome? MiddlehandleWeneedtokeepitsimple,clear,andrepeatable

PaulsStoryActs26

o Whatcanyourfriendrememberaboutyourstory?Willtheybeable torepeatwhatyourexperienceswerethatmadeachangeinyourlife? Dotheyrelatetoyourexperiences? o RemembertheKISSprinciple ConclusionEndwithaquestionorstatementthatrequiresaresponse Scripture Think of whether there was one key verse that really opened youreyes.Ifnot,donotforceit. LanguageAvoidreligiousclichsandGodtalk LengthBebriefandtothepoint.Lettheenvironmentdictatetoyouwhat needstobedone SequenceWithpracticeyouwillbeabletostartandendatanyoneofthe handles,dependingonthesituation. Putting others first Keep your focus on your friend; Emphasize those aspectsofyourstorythatwillrelatetohisorherconcernsandinterests.

Howtoorganizeyourstory:PaulActs26
B.C. A.D.

Handles

Verses

Concluding question

Unifying theme

NEWINSIGHTSABOUTMYSELF
MYFUNDAMENTAL FEARSANDBASIC BELIEFS THEPATTERNSOFMY LIFE MYAHAMOMENT

MYWEAKEST WHATARETHEFEARS HOWDOMYFEARSAND BEHAVIOURSTHATNEED THATSTOPMEFROM RESULTINGBEHAVIOURS ADDRESSINGNOW LIVINGPOWERFULLY INJUREME ACTIONIMUSTTAKETOMAKEPOWERFULCHANGESINMYLIFE

Singleness Quiz Answer each question either yes, no or sometimes.

1. I have at least one friend of the same sex with whom I can share my feelings.___________ 2. I have at least two friends of the opposite sex (single or married) with whom I can comfortably talk._____________ 3. I am involved in one group where there are both men and women.____________ 4. I am involved in one group where there are singles and marrieds.____________ 5. I am aware of travel and service opportunities open primarily to singles.__________ 6. I have studied the Scriptural view of my sex directly from the Bible so I have determined for myself what assumptions about my sex are true and what are not._____________ 7. I can point to three personal improvements I have made this last year to make myself more aware, interesting, and better rounded to serve God as a total person.___________ 8. I honestly like myself. _________ 9. I like my body, my hair, and my clothes._________ 10. I'm glad I'm the sex I am. ___________ 11. I can list at least four advantages a single person of my sex often has over his/her married counterpart. ____________ 12. I accept my sexual drives as good, and I purposely channel that energy into other areas. I am certain that in this area of my life I am in fellowship with God.____________ 13. I look forward to having sexual relations with my wife/husband if I should marry.________ 14. I can be alone without being lonely._____________ 15. I have a job or am in training for a job which I am proud of and through which I can earn my own living._____________ 16. The job I have or am training for has equal advancement opportunities for both sexes._____

17. I can manage money. I can handle contracts, credit, business arrangements, and car and household repairs. (This involves knowing whom to contact for expert help.)____________ 18. I see myself as head of my home/apartment, responsible to God for hospitality and service, just as a married person would be._____________ 19. I look forward to the future. ___________

Dating Relationships- The Untold Story How would you describe your ideal life partner?___________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ What is your plan for acquiring this person?______________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________ Read Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7. What are the responsibilities of a wife?____________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ And a husband?________________________________________________________ ____ ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ How far are you from reaching these requirements?________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ ________________________________________________________________ _________ What happens if married couples do not reach these requirements?____________________

________________________________________________________________ _________ Dating Unscriptural The temporary enjoyment of another without full commitment, little security, and little responsibility. Courtship Unscriptural Parentally authorized romantic relationship focused on serious contemplation and hope of future marriage; hopefully, but not necessarily so Betrothal Scriptural Romantic relationship following publicly announced, irrevocable commitment to marriage; allows couple to "fall in love" before marriage, but after commitment is made. E.g. ___________

1 Cor 7:32-35

Your single time is a time for you and your Master to grow deep in love. Before you give your heart to someone it should be saturated with God.
If you can't be monogamous with your creator, I don't know what makes you think you can with a man that your creator created. If you are divided in your focus/commitment/emotions now, you will be later-Shelley Warren But God, to a Christian says, "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone; with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me; having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the best human relationship I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, stop seeking and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching and trusting me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening to and learning from the things I tell you. You just wait. Thats all. Dont be anxious. Dont look at the things others have gotten, or what I have given them. Dont look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking up at me, or you will miss what I want to show you. And when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me, you won't be able to experience the life I have prepared for you. Scriptures to consider

1 Tim 5:2_____________________________________________________ Mark 4: 18-19_________________________________________________ Jer 17:5_____________________________________________________ Jer 2:37_____________________________________________________ Heart Matters- Emotional Promiscuity Map out your own personal sellotape diary. Where has your heart been?

What is Love? 1 Cor 13. How many of these characteristics do you consistently exhibit with people you are/have been involved with?_____________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ Turn your mind away from romantic projects. You mingle with your religion a romantic, lovesick sentimentalism, which does not elevate, but only lowers. It is not yourself alone who is affected; others are injured by your example and influence. . . . Daydreaming and romantic castle building have unfitted you for usefulness. You have lived in an imaginary world; you have been an imaginary martyr and an imaginary Christian. {Adventist Home pg5} What has dating taught you about members of the opposite sex? And about love?____________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________ Dating Steals from Marriage ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________Misconceptions.... Umjolo helps me know about girls/boys______________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Umjolo helps me prepare for marriage_______________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Umjolo helps me find a wife_______________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ CounseltoaRomantic,LovesickGirl.Youhavefallenintothesaderrorwhichisso prevalentinthisdegenerateage,especiallywithwomen.Youaretoofondoftheothersex. Youlovetheirsociety;yourattentiontothemisflattering,andyouencourage,orpermit,a familiaritywhichdoesnotalwaysaccordwiththeexhortationoftheapostle,to"abstain fromallappearancesofevil...{AdventistHomepg52} Saved and Single Shelley Warren What makes you think that just because I am an attractive woman of Godly intelligence that I'm incomplete without a mate? Who told you that without a man something's missing from my life? And if so, what would that be? Love? I love myself and more importantly I love the Lord. He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart. Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory. Intimacy? Now, how's a man going to get to know me when he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord. See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth and a gem does not seek, it is sought. I'm single and that's all right with me. See, it's not that I oppose relationships it's that I detest co-dependency. As a woman I know it is not my role to chase after any man. Esther 2:14 reads that I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me he will call me by my name. My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate. I am to be cherished,

Relished, Valued, and Honored. It's not my job to convince him or convict him of that. My mate will already know it and consistently show it and he will stay on his knees daily - not just to adore me but to praise the Lord for the virtuous woman he has found. So, when you see me by myself - I'm not alone. I know what I have coming to me. I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be! So, How do we get Hitched?... It is better to be single wishing you were married than married wishing you were single. NOTHING can prepare u for GodsPerfectPlan:Adam& ofmakingadecisionon marriage. Its too big, its too Eve whotomarry,basedon spiritual. The only thing u can do is anearlierdecision(who One Man Woman, One Woman follow Gods willl for your life and todate)whichwasnot Man marry who He shows you. If you motivatedonweshare cant trust God to find a spouse GiveyourhearttoOne similarvalues,goals, for you, what in the world are you Person purpose,andcharacter doing trusting Him for your salvation? If He can take care of the big things, I'm quite ShareIntimacywithOne of Person sure he can take care of the little ones as well. Not only can He take care it, but He can do a much better job at it than we can. Giveyourbodytoone person Dating is expressly saying: I am not sure you are the one, but I will get emotionally involved with you anyway, before I am sure.
Dating is using flesh (self/human reasoning), rather than God, to find your spouse: I have dated him/her for 3 years, personal preferences (my type), feelings, selfishness, ulterior motives. Generally, it is giving self the room to rule. Let go, let God. I am too lazy to have the kind of relationship with God I will need to have for him to tell me She is it. You need to consult with God. Once He says She is the One - Its done! Nothing can get u unsaved like marriage. Which is why the devil uses our ignorance in keeping God OUT of our marriage agenda and choosing for ourselves. Dating is a past time. Its supposed to be fun. This has serious implications. Marriage brings out the worst in a person and if the only thing you used to choose a partner is their show of bestness which does not exist, you are in for a shock. Biggest marriage killer is disappointment and unmet expectations. They are Donotmakethemistake

comparing marriage to dating. He/She has changed. NO, he has not changed. You are meeting him/her for the first time.

Practical steps 1.Research, then Commit not Commit, then Research Stop looking for someone to love, so you can commit to. Start looking for someone to commit to, so you can love! ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ _______________________________________

God took Eve from something close to Adams heart (his rib). God puts desires and dreams and likes and dislikes and gifts in a persons heart. To truly connect with another, those same characteristics or at least an appreciation for those characteristics must be in the other persons heart too. It is for instance impossible for a Christian to be truly united with a non-Christian, or to be united with someone with totally different dreams, values or lifestyle. A man and woman can only love one another deeply, if they can see a reflection of themselves in the other person.

2.Seek to please God before yourself-Matthew 6:33 WORLD Body KINGDOM Spirit

Soul

Soul

Spirit

Body

Remember, the most important thing you need in a spouse, is someone who fears the Lord. Someone who fears the Lord will not mistreat you intentionally, and because they have a living and personal relationship with God, they can be corrected by Him and they can repent. The hardest thing for men is to love. The hardest thing for women is to submit.

These are both impossible without God. His Holy Spirit will make this possible in your life. Do not compromise on this. Any sign that the person is not under the Lordship of Christ is not to be ignored! We are not saying people must be perfect, but where they go wrong, there should be a sorrow that will cause them to see the error of their ways and repent. Nothing less. Guidelines on assessing the spirit and soul of someone

Compatibility - How compatible are we in spiritual beliefs, intelligence, energy level, interests and activities, and values? Character - How would I judge his/her character in vital qualities such as integrity, honesty, faithfulness, reliability, humility, self-control, and gentleness? Communication - How would I rate our communications skills in: Disclosure Willingness to share about each day and about our lives Negotiation Ability to reach win-win decisions Conflict resolution Capacity to resolve issues and restore intimacy

More questions What is his/her vision for his/her life for the next five years? What is his/her purpose in life? What does he/she believe is the purpose of marriage? What does he/she think is the purpose of a husband; a wife? Is there anything that you feel he/she may bring to the table of marriage, which may be negative? What preparations is he/she doing now to be a better husband/wife? What is his/her top motive for wanting to be married someday? What does he/she fear losing by getting married? What are the things he/she need most in a marriage? Staying single increase your chances for a successful marriage: Why? The Conclusion of the Matter: By its fruits you shall know it Fruits of Singlehood

Get to know & love yourself #Build a good self-esteem # Find your interests and preferences #Get to know others #Decide what you would value in a partner #Deal with your issues #Enjoy the FREEDOM #Develop as an individual #Learn intimacy with your God. Fruits of Dating ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ _____________________________ 2 Tim 3:4-5!!! Which Christian are you?

Contact Details of 4Life counsellors

NAME Neli Mabaso Andrew Adar Vezamazulu Gwebu Dave Griffiths Lyndelle Smithwick Adrian Ravie Govender Jean Pierre Seger

CONTACT neli@paradigms.co.za andrew@activatedjesus.co.za vezamazulu@gmail.com dave@ushakatrading.co.za Lyndell.saved@gmail.com ravie_govender@yahoo.co.uk jpseger@gmail.com

FACEBOOK / SKYPE N/A Both Both FB Both Both Both