Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
ART OE CONVERSATION.
WITH
NEW YORK
,
CarletoUy Publisher,
LONDON
:
Madison Square.
GEO. W. CARLETON.
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Southern District of
New York.
CONTENTS.
Pagt
Preface
.7
INTRODUCTION.
Of
Conversation in Greneral.
.15
I.
Attention in Conversation.
.24
29
37
.
IL
^
Of
m.
'
Personal
Appearance.
Dress.
Orna.
ments
rV.
V.
VT.
~Vn.
Vlii.
Of Satire, Sarcasm and Teasing. Of Censure and Fault-Finding. Of Compliments. Of Egotism in Conversation.
.
.
.
.
40 46 49
57 71
81
Politeness
^Its
basis
Its Applications.
"IX.
X. XI.
Of
Stories,
versation.
Of
Questioning
its
^Its
Misapplication and
.
advantages in Conversation
90
93
Taking
Liberties.
^Impudence.
Staring.
VI
Chap.
CONTENTS.
XII.
XTTT.
Of Argument in Conversation. Of Men who are " always in the right." Of the'Influence of women in Conver.
Pagf
9^
sation;
Married
Ladies.
104
Ill
XIV.
Of
XV.
XVI.
The Paradox
in Conversation.
114
Of Of Of Of
.118
.
XVII.
Conversation at Dinner-Parties
Silent
124
130 135
XVni.
XIX.
people.TimidityIts
Cui-e.
SELF EDUCATION.
XX.
XXI.
Of Of
145
149
Com,
XXn.
Of Reading
Moral and Mental Philosophy.
.
.156
165
.
XXin. XXIV.
XXV.
XXVL
XXVn.
Of Art in Conversation.^Esthetics 167 Of Studying Languages 174 Of Curious and IMiscellaneous Eaiowl.
edge
180
.
Of
Science.
184
APPENDIX.
XXVnX
Of Vulgarisms
in Conversation
i99
PREFACE.
is
often
follqwing,
teach
practical
me
to write the
it
ensuing pages.
And
having borne
in
chapter, I trust I
may be pardoned
Conversation
b
in
like
as of the
which may
be
The
school,
truth
is,
is
all familiarity
elegant arts of
to create the
was
JIRT
to
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
be comprehended by the multitude.
mystery never
mode
or fashion,
It is
style "
themselves members of
society
thanks to their
efforts,
were
late
to
and the
and
editor.
Social intercourse,
even in royal
circles, is
ta
distinctly intelU
PREFACE.
gib*e,
real,
even in a book.
fifty years,
and
an affected and
quette for the natural dictates of the heart, and for a social
man
as a gentleman,
is,
Republicanism
in
oddly
That the
is
spirit of the
infinitely
book
by no one who
such leaders
sincere effort
is
And
will,
trust, give
their
sympathy
be without
effect in disseminating
among
the
young men
sense, in
culture,
10
^RT OF
COJVVERSATIOJV,
others, instead
etiquette
which
subject, that an
all
seemed
imitative of
real con-
it
was with
numbers.
That
their effect
must be
to
make
gentlemen,
is
work
tells its
A little
is
book entitled
The Art
as indispensable to a gen-
ume
and by
far the
de-
of " a
and
own vanity
ers."
Anothw work
make
the great
to abstain
from
its
hero of
PREFACE.
a diary being a youth
11
had not Worked
who
regretted he
!
a performance
is
but which
so
The same
terms
what he
disasters
sation, that
you
learn to
dress "
this dressing,
be
observed, constipoliteness.
manual of
but
make
teach
great mischief, in
common
.
with
all that
is
pretends to
young
a matter of bows,
;
or on the other
hand that
it
life
as
it
should be among
12
The
-^iRT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
book
is
object af this
is
There
and of
rights
common
to all,
and
to treat
every one as a
civilly.
tacit-
To do
this,
common
we must
on
this
ground that I
would
ture.
and of
cul-
The reader
do not mean
diamond buttons
in the
is still
common
more pro
institutions.
As
would
ly
having during
to persons
many
commended them
partly neglected,
casea
PREFACE,
results
13
been induced
to
beyond
my
expectations, I have
may be
generally
tested.
It
is
a few leading
of adding to
up
into
new forms
all
tho
memory
of the whole
by
association,
My
effort
been
to
by which
system
may be
branches of learning.
It
may have
in
peculiarities
own
nation.
II
14
ART OF
COJVVERSATIOJV,
to
would be preposterous
citizens
to the
and
intellectual
culture
is
constantly
in every dithings,
vision of society
among
Progress in
all
and
is
above
all
in
to heart,
and
which they
and have
their being.
In
this truth,
thousands, as I
it
now
and
for
aU
to
advance
the
sum
total of
human
happiness.
social culture
which occupies so
arts of freely
If
by the publication of
a few chapters, most sincerely written in the hope of doing good, and which I trust are not entirely without somo
basis of observation
and study, I
though but a
little,
those arts,
my
wiL be fully
realized.
The Authob.
INTRODUCTION
OF OONVEHSATICJr IN QENEBAi.
HERE
is
is
no
social
art in -vvnich
it
in Conversation.
The man
fil
or
ful-
all
the
conditions
of talking
well, has at
command a means of
when
directed
success which,
by
common
With
it
the
woman
of mod-
lose their
charms
to tho
16
at times
JIRT OF CO^rVERSATJOJ\r.
grows wearisome.
But
the pleasure
of
its
We
love power
and of
all
agreeable
ence.
is
eminent
by
their
They
to the
impressing those
whom
dom
they meet.
And
they
sel-
make
rapid progress.
and yet
it
would be
diflScult
to point
we
find
But
it is
concerned.
will de-
a degree of
aixy society.
By
C OJVVER SA TIOJV
practising dancing
IJV
G EJVERAL.
;
\7
you learn
and
by studying
all
the
you
will
among
those
Conversation
from
art,
and for
this
he
owed much,
as he confessed, to reading
what had
No
in a great
all
measure due
and yet
of those precepts
If the reader
tlie
may
is
be given in black
conscious of any
and white.
who
deficiency as regards
set
earnest to
remedy
his defects,
may
be confident of success
13
ART OF
to ensure
it
COJ^VERSATIOJ^.
Nil sint
But
labore
nothing without
at all times.
is
lowed
There
this
its
practice
demands no
loss
it
of time.
saves time.
On
the contrary,
when properly
applied
more
any
one, iie
may turn
knowledge
to advantage.
The
with
your
officer,
your
friend,
may
all
be
it
made
so
it.
erful
any
you
will, as
an elephant
may
you choose
to
simply
Rules
even
rules in books
cojvrER SA Tiojsr
Language
of the
life
is
ij\r
g ejveral.
19
He who
it.
endeavors to
In leaving
ofl
thinking
faults
evil of others
for
the
men
have
few.
Many may
No man
the art of conversation, and of thereby making himself generally acceptable in society, without ridding
himself of
at least
many
defects,
which
if
To
converse
morality
and
is
taste in matters of
Hence
it
where a
20
^RT OF
COJVrERSATIOJV.
is
exactedj
and "which
is
oonversation, genius
clogs
works.
Tal-
who
aim
at constant eleganco
thia
cause of the
development.
won-
No
one doubts
average of talent
countries
may
But
how much
is
greater
The
it
-
that
circle is
formed whose
mem
mutual intelligence
versation and
of
con-'
in
imparting
to
each
not
merely a general
also
COJ^VERSATIOJ\r
what they themselves
are.
^J\r
GEJ\rERAL.
21
who
communicated
Tones,
gestures,
glances,
attitudes
and
A single reminiscence of
my mind
Lord Byron,
Lady Bles-
con-
may
As
regards the
need be said.
One
is
enough
an
air of
22
'
-fiRT
OF COJ^VERSATIOJf.
soirSe ;
to
sustain
fci
draw together
in
any
draw out
of every
one to advantage, to
and
It
is
to
is
"disposition"
natural
"gifts."
Much
ability or to
"advantages," but I
am
firmly con-
all it is chiefly
owing
to the expansion
which
is
given by judicious
The world
full
of
eminence but
to
elevate
others with
that
is
them
"if
hotr"
It
may
But
may by
persever-
ance do as
much
for himself;
COJ>rVERSATIOJ\r
ceeded in
LX GETTER AL,
23
my
may
fall,
and
who may be
treats, to strive to
remedy the
defect.
ART
OF'COJS'VERSATlOJf
CHAPTER L
A.TTENTION IN CONVERSATION.
/%^^
HE
ers "
"
a funda-
You may be
your
thrill
wit,
move by your
all
pathos, and
with your
eloquence but
ired in a loquacious
silence.
a few
flashes of
The
more limited th
ATTE^TIOJV
IJ>r
COJ\'VERSATIOJV.
25
maj
will
whom you
Bclf,
talk, the
more
will
and the
less
he desire to
you,
example of Sir
Walter
Remember
persons from
whom you
is
that everything
worth knowing.
the
become a
listener
and which,
if
apropos, will
make the
greater impresthe
first
Patience
is
is
of
all
virtues,
but Silence
maid.
And
will
you
seldom
may
I can safely
my own
studies of conversafavorin-
able impression on
all,
No
degree
26
^^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOSr
will
of brilliancy or of knowledge
impress
well
self-command.
/aire, or
It
is
"knowing how
is
under
all
circumstances," which
man
It
of the world.
would be well
if
reflect
into trouble
by saying
too
little,
There
bility in
is
when paid by
any
to
children to parents
by young
girls or ladies to
who
by young men
any one.
But
it
and
to-
noble
when manifested by
inferiors.
either old or
young
wards
Many
much
listen
with interest to
ble,
all,
humoi
affectation of interest.
ATTEJVTIOJVWhile
IJ^iT
COJVVERSATIOJV.
and while
left,
97
silent in conversation
listening,
and be careful
Look
if
he of
to
will be
an admonition
be concise, for
it
is
who
stow
it.
in seeming to be inat-
tentive or in a reverie
when praised by
is
another,
to
or
when
a flattering allusion
in
To
at
attend to
many
persons,
or to look steadily
modifications.
I have soen
women
uttered,
men who
to whatever
lightest
mi^ht be
never
to
not
excepting the
jests,
say,
"I
will
know
you
cainot de-
ceive
me."
No
One may
to
To recur
in
my
28
it is
-^RT
OF
C0J\rVERSAT10J\r.
the
muse of Eloquence
herself
is
repre
employed
sets off
language to tho
best advantage.
COJ^FIDFJ\rCE
IJ\r
COJ\rVEESATIOJV.
29
CHAPTER
n.
REQUISITE
restrained,
element of agreeis
able conversation
that
it
be un-
and to do
this
you
must
inspire
confidence in your
discretion.
Strive
by every means
in
your
power
a
to avoid the
reputation of
to a soul
tattler.
Never repeat
Make
it
Few
told them.
Most
much which
80
-ART
OF
COJVVERSATTOJSr.
secret,
it
may
all
of these confidences,
them from
all
consequences.
How
more
But
those
who
exaggerate.
man
is
enough
He
who hopes
to
become a
ing the
impression
to
that
the
most
trivial
secret,
is,
whether imparted
But
it
will be vain
it
be foundcirculation
ed in fact.
A
to
and doubt as
your
fidelity.
soon elevate
it
to
something remarkable.
is full
people
to
whom
like gold in a
child's pocket,
burning to be issued.
COJSTFIDE.VLE
often tormented for
IJ>r
COJ\rVERSATIOJV.
31
whom
And
on those
who
will
to
bestow friendship.
it is
To
those
who would be
in
such confidence
In connection with
this
subject I
may
properly
who cannot
know
whom
it
is
addressed, or
who cannot
find any-
picking
it
up.
is
acter of society,
superior in
a type of base-
Bear continually
of conversation
in
mind the
kJ
the secret of
much
in
knowing what
,
to say, as in
what
to avoid
Baying.
intelligence can
82
-ART
OF COJVVERSATIOJ\r.
in correct language,
become a good
it is
talker.
But
to
become a good
conversationalist,
necessary to
influe-nce the
Jk
minds of others.
You must
esUblisb
whom you
would
dis-
approve, or to which
To do
this is
sists in
^
y
^'
Xfeose^lease most
who
It is not
enough
to refrain in conversation
from
tleman or lady
am
difficulty
of
determining what
or
is not,
proper to be discuss-
ed of other people.
Many
things
must be known,
The most
in relation
to^iem,
COJVFIDFJVCE
IJ\r
C0J>rVERSAT10.Y.
it is
33
know.
And a
tunes of those
whom you
may have
a se-
All of
those
this,
may
be adduced by
who defend
Yet
it
those
who
least indulge
To be
able
comments on the
family
hnt
tact,
culties resulting
The lady
or
tri-
umph
will at once
and of
society.
It
may
youthful reader
why
this should
be
so,
but
if
he or
life
time.
And
may
appropriately ob*
84
Berve
its
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
I refer to tact
to that
judicious
so useful in
life.
And
with
it
may
also
by which one
It
is
enced in life
Let
to
very
This, with
will
be certain to
fidence which,
when
They
common
COJVFIDEJVCE
gant
is
IJV
COJyrVERSATIOJV.
35
man
or
woman
At
this
anc!
the heartless
maxims of
now
studied
class,
know
that the
young are
still
and
manner and
in conversation,
have nothing in
common with
good
I
in every
way
to old
know
that
it is
Bat
it is
a great
all
of these
latter fascinations
may
of a good heart.
dissipated
were
less
The
truth
is,
86
ART OP
COJVVERSATIOJ>r,
among
those
who
best
know
it
and
there
is
no reason
why they
should
who
is
desirous of excel-
more
than once.
I might per-
page
so confident
am
much
purified at heart
social
would through
all
encouragement frcm
PERSOJ\rAL APPEARAJ^CE,
gT
CHAPTER
PERSONAL APPSABASrCB.
nr.
OBNAMESTTS.
DRES3.
a well
To
those
who would
may
of the entire
The reason
there should be
S8
ART OF
COJVVERSATWJSr.
he countenance, or from the
The
slightest neg-
of cleanliness
is
may
agreeable feeling
us,
for
ciations.
commended,
pliment to
comfor a
all
with
whom you
associate.
But
to
form con-
may pay
themselves,
than to rely
Cheap
imitative elegance
is
indicates the
mere
fac-simile of
what
is
in itself a<
APPEABAA^CE, HRESS,
ORJ\'AMEJ\rTS.
39
It
ia
by
Pimch
'
Believe
me
charms
Were to-morrow locked up in the pawn-broker's arms. Some trifling advance to repay, Thou wouldst still be the snob which this moment thou Let thy vanity think what it will
art.
Jrr those shining red buttons, that breast-pin so smart. And those studs, show vulgarity still *'
!
am
many men
is
the ten-
irrepressible.
it is
is
matter of
should be promptly
may
birds
A lady being
replied
'*
:
young gentleman,
I can remember
ball
Do
it all
not
ask
me !
nothing of
on
his cravat,
my
ideas and
40
ART OF COJVFERSATIOJV
CHAPTER
IV.
^EVER
when
it
saj
anything
unpleasant
avoided.
It
is to
satire
erally
Many
persons
seem
It is indeed too
The temptations
form
They
SATIRE.
find that
SARCASM.
TEASIJS'G.
4,1
many men
artists,
who would
still live in
to their hearts.
They
manner
by
wit,
social
by the
fear of
pointed ridicule.
sarcasm out-balance
A majority of
source.
it is
Where impertinence
is
In nearly
all instances
it
of
will
some manner
far
more cred-
one replying.
And
who
to
fail
who
is
fair
game, they
end by setting up an
the wnole world.
It has
'^
infernal
42
-^RT
OF
COJ\rVERSATIOJ\r.
we end by
disco\ering not
an equivalent.
So
it
will be
found that by
bomg
its
real
Even when
it is
of
you should
remember
that
it is
your disinclination
skill
to inflict pain.
Such
triumphs of
whose admiration
It
is
worth winning.
may
famed
was ever
professed
at heart
The
"wit"
A man
whose head
seize the
it
but he casts
aside
when
all
pelled
him
to use
it.
It is
r.-r^
SATIRE. SARCASM.
and
tart sayings.
TEASIJVG
43
At a certain depth
of vulgarity ^e
cess
He
can-
may
be repeated
Douglas Jerrold,
vated society.
is
There
is
with, which
by those desirous of
indulge in
" churlish
flings
keen irony.
fops,
who wish
are
to be
men
of the world,
It
much given
abounds, however,
people,
among
who think by
and of early
as*
44
sociations.
'^RT
OF COJ\rVERSATIOJV.
that an elegant air
is
They think
may
which
be
put on as a garment.
Nothing
so easy indeed to
vein,
ia
assume as
this ironical
and personal
intended to only slightly annoy, without being carried so far as to give serious grounds for a quarrel.
It
vulgarity
though
it is
Avoid
liberties.
manner of
_ilTeasing "
is
is
Yj^
jn^pj, and
i^yJiM'^^^^Q^l
victims, to such
an extent as
to utterly ruin
dispositions
lent.
and
insult.
directly or indirectly,
may
be possessed of
many
to true respect
nor
is
any
one,
who
fails in
respect
The
incurable
is
^'
annoyances,
intellect is in
some respect
deficient or disordered,
and who
is
therefore to be avoided.
Such persona
SAITS^E
SARCASM. TEASIJVG.
45
13
whom
thej are in
ART OF COjyVKRSATlOnf
CHAPTER
r.
HOSE
who would
excel in conver-
some one,
The
faults
of others
They
down
seem
and, to judge
to be forever looking
them by
their
own
being.
It is unfortunately true that a
CEJ\rS UR E.
absent.
FA UL T
FIJVDIJSTG
47
Here and
there,
indeed,
we encounter a
avoids
it.
lowed out at
temptation.
vice,
he may indulge
of any land.
speaks
ill
of others as of truly
noble character.
by no
and
uncharitableness.
Very
elegant
highly accomplished
women
accomplish this great triumph over the most insidious fault of our nature, and thereby wonderfully
increase their abilities in the art of pleasing.
48
-^RT OF COjyrERSATIOA".
It is within
young person
to
any one
a fortune
earnestly
If such
ojQTered
dependent
this,
!
how
And
all
yet no
carping and
Owing
it
in others.
If you have
thrice a
it,
subject,
set
down
day
every
face, or
K you
you
in all probability,
habit
OF COMPLJMEXTS.
49
CHAPTER
VI.
OF COMPLIMENTS.
HE
spirit of a
compliment
is
the
ly
condemn
it,
of pleasing
is
more or
that of complimenting.
The most
much
of
its
compliment that
delicate
homage by which we
Women
or
men
3
who
50
Ai^T
OF COJVrERSATIOJV.
and perhaps
feel,
a dislike to compliments.
They
case,
they
compliment with
an adroit answer or graceful reply, and are consequently rather vexed than pleased with
it.
Much
It is needless to
may
Some
clumsy, others
if
we
it is
in
The
flattest
flattery implies
it,
at
a desire to
commend himself to
OF COMPLIMENTS.
51
I have already intimated that the crownirg excellence of conversation, as a mere art,
is,
not to ac-
it,
lest
through
we
lose naturalness.
To pay compliments
especially to
sometimes phrase
it,
ready.'-
Yet
and admiration
really a compliment,
it is
evident
studied
clared to be none at
acceptable to most
And
it
oral.
Ex-
pressive
adroit
and
respectful
stares,
belong to the
art.
If
we
carefully study
any
Of
in
all
52
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
and
is
at the
When
offered in this
manner
to a lady
she
is
doublj
gratified,
first
having
Beautiful
women are
readily convinced
by a glance
when
the
first
tribute
is
paid, be best
accomplishments,
''spirit,"
kindness
very beautiful
woman who
her beauty
especially if
it
is
always gratified.
"I
''
There
more gratifying
to a person
who has no
any
other.
established
And
aa
worth repeating,
compliments in
it
is
all sincerity.
iT\or
OF C0MPLIME.YT8.
or
le.5S
5<,
Men,
know
women have
ttat they
praised
them
dames.
that
versed with
in reference to him, as
to give
a favorable
by referring
to
it,
especially if
If
will assuredly
There
said
on the
women
attractions
he or she
to
may
all
claim
be
fiiitb
beautiful,
clings
to
the
very last to
in a certain
ly appreciated,
must
admiration.
And
little
of
54
-^RT.
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
first
report cf
thrilled
a really genial
compliment
fire.
paid
them,
is
This
all
sometimes the
when a
sister
has attracted
the admiration.
why
she
is
admired.
lover of art,
who had a
who had
young
to
praise of
her beauty.
this will
us,
Very
which
the secret,
boys and
are
girls,
who
extremely
critical
judgment of personal
attractions, while
men
In
of wide
far
more generally
short,
where wo wish
Bv
seldom
wanting,
when our
Compliments
are
frequently
uttered as good
OF COMPLIMEJ^TS,
natured jokes, not to be taken
literally,
55
and yet
to
Tlma
book on
Italy, a
picture of Louis
his
court,
is
XIV
represented as remarking
"he
To which
Frenchman
is
knew no
credit
j^entleman
with more
to himself, or,
more agreeably
a
to the ladies.
Such
a compliment
mere
trifle,
it
ter impression
Do
you
say, the
manner,
style, ad-
as
much
to
do with
success,
as
the
sentiment.
others
Many
people smirk
when about
to speak;
coming.
Some
is
acquire a
manner
it
not agreeable, as
betrays
effect.
an
In short, there
is
be natural
56
ART OF COJVVERSATIOJf
By
carefully observing
scores of compliments,
made an agreeable
impression, and
by studying and
to attain
classifying
social garden,
and he certainly
word
his
aptly.
This will be an
who
will
ad-
dressed to themselves,
by no means
if it is
small.
A compliment
it
is
nothing
EGOTISM
IJV-
COJVVERSATJOJV
61
CHAPTER Vn.
OP EGOTISM IN CONVERSATION.
conversation
make
as few refer-
Beware of giving
indication that
the
slightest
you habitually
realize
however,
equivalent
first
to
prin-
and
to
it
since no one
Egotism
of merit.
is
No
may
be, self-consciousness
child,
and even a
It is the greatest of
blem-
58
-ART
OF
C0J\rFEIlSAT10JV,
pulously shunned
j
in
its
French
manner could
(I be detected
i
rietics of
such people.
The
truth
is,
for
it is
must be
does
tlte
cured^ not
disguised.
egotism
not
mean
destroying
life,
and
is
said of
it,
or studying
it
produces.
The
fault is rapidly
developed
by much
above
all
of
'
families,
engagements,
is
'^
atten-
tions," fortunes,
\
and what
said by everybody of
every body
else.
Men
enough
affairs
ridiculous stamp.
induce
man
or
woman
current chronicle of " the fashion " in any city, village or hamlet.
EGOTISM
the
^'
IJ\r
COjYVERSATIOJ^.
59
alis
understand
that
the
giving
much
no
little
v^hallow vanity.
\He who
is
reflectIng~onrwGat people
think
keep a place
himvery
This
is
the reason
why
in
all is killed
by
re-
peculiarities.
/ Many
\
ing, or of
humorous gasconading
who however
by
ut-
all
their
habits
of vaunting.
He who
Self
is
not
foe,
even to burlesque
it.
in fun will
In
may
suggest, however
whom you
effect
you produce.
60
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJy.
in detail of them-
and
their
others
who cannot
some
wittout
ridiculous
consciousness.
I
'
at
least
much
as possible indulging
them
in their
idle gossip, if
vanity.
Ignorance
art, or
amusements, or beautiful
*'
The more
may
and
egotists, intimate
them
as quietly as
you
can,
you wish
If
you persistently
weeks you
refrain
will realize to a
is
endeav-
him
for
it,
morally
vile.
EGOTISM Lr
COJVVKRSATIOJ^r.
is
Q\
not one
and
gossip, yet
we seldom
it
made
to extirpate
them, and
bat
fair to
with
persons
will actually
to
successes,
and private
of people, or
it
to
Had
been
so,
bestowing on us reason or
intellect.
Do
not in conversation
scenes in which
to great
people
whom you
cesses, or
have known
to
to
your
travels,
may
If possible, avoid
vanity.
Do
avoid
all
62
fortunes.
-^J^T
OF COJVVERSATIOJ^.
this to
an ah
from the
or what they
This
ia
Many
" honest
from a
is
traveller, or
achieved what
to
them
at least a celebrity,
may
Such excellent
for
souls can no
more comprehend
motives
reserve than
Whenever you
can appropriately and modestly draw upon your experience for an illustration, do so.
that opportunities will not be wanting.
Rely upon
it
Do
habitual
or with rich
is
people.
in
very
common
of
many who
other respects.
an insidious
fault,
and one
is
full
the
the aifecta-
when thej
EGOTISM
IJV
COJVVERSATIO.X.
It
68
ia
wealthy
man
When
off,
especially before
is
who
are not so
prosperous,
truly
contemptible, even
offence
when no
is
given.
Such people
talk
sables
and three-pile
velvet.
Others
roll
neighborhood of a
is
man who
It
shown
in a
tendency to increase
when
speaking of sums.
sum
at less
ij
64
-^^2'
OF
COJVVERSATIOJSr.
ar-
belonging to others
a thing which
that
itself
sliould be
ogy
or
at
least
with
straight-forwardnesa
a pressing
If you
have a specialty in
direction,
it
any other
will
others
If you
are
any
arts,
of discussion.
affairs to
many
solemn secresy as
matter relative
to
yourself or friends.
Weak
seldom
fail,
on
reflection, to a4;tribute
it
to
mere
vanity.
Of
all
follies,
EGOTISM
eral
IJV
COJSrVERSATIOJV.
(55
attract
too
many
cases, be
entirely neutralized on
whom you
may
confide.
That
is
its
More absurd
faults
the confesspecies of
your private
and vices
now becoming
generally
On
this
subject a
of yourself, since, if
it
be an eulogium, people
if
regard
it
as a lie
while
you
criticise
yourit
as an article of faith."
In
short,
circumstances, where
excellencies or defects.
It is very vain to use strong
tions,
and emphatic
asser-
such as "
tain,"
It is
'
" Yes
7 know," " I am positively cer- J but / happen to know all about it."
irritates,
66
^RT OF
COJ\rVERSATIOJ\r.
your declaration.
" I believe," "
It
Always
substitute
" I
tliink,'
enough
to
your words in
this respect,
is
pressions
"
!
H'm
"
" Pshaw
"
"
Much you
"
!
know about
''
Fiddlesticks
them of a strongly
by any
are
one under
all
sis
any
is
circumstances whatever.
They
rude, as
vanity
is
shown
practical significance,
idea.
!
One
be
may
"be
industrious
thrifty
be enterprizing "
but
most cases be
to irritate
EGOTISM
Nevei talk simply
fect.
IJSr
COJ\rVERSATIOJ>r,
Q*l
Be
especially on
thia
it
will be
to create a
impression.
But
all
displays of vanity
are unfavorable.
Beware
The
par-
lor lecturer is a
common form
of vanity, especially
among men
of humble origin
public consideration.
Small
They
own
voices
all professional
Never undertake
not
lead in conversation.
Do
when you
it
Never try
to be a
I have seen a
gentleman noted
68
of a large
-^RJ^
OF COJVVERSATIOJSr.
for
tell
company
an hour, because
anptliei
person ventured to
his
own.
It is all vanity.
If
to do so.
Nonchaele-
at best
is
gance, and
now
It is gen-
who
deliberately cultivates
it
countless
many
acts of real
re-
rudeness.
To
is,
affect
to forget
member
first
after all,
untrue
and
the
qualification of a
gentleman or lady.
I would
unfortunately
If
still
prevalent
classes of society.
you
really cannot at
recal
(and eagerly,
you
cumstance
course.
in
connection with
your former
inter-
Whenever any
strikes
it
you
in others, note
down and
If
strictly avoid
in future in
EGOTISM
JJV
COJVVERSATTOJV.
69
effect^
Nearly
all
eccentricity
Avoid odd'
you
will soon
become noted
French writers on
eti-
In a work which
in
many
least attempt to
*'
appear so."
is
*
it is
neces-
so,
and that
that virtue
may
will
be acquired by practice.
By associespecial
who
excel
you
Pai
70
ART OF
COJTJrERSATIOJS'',
And
remember, he who
cul-
In acquiring
it
you
is
fidence
and firmness.
Impudence
generally the
POLITEJK'ESS.
ITS BASIS
7|
CHAPTER Vm,
POLITENESS.
ITS BASIS. ITS APPLICATION.
HE
kindness.
real,
U^"
If you con-
away your
you
will
dis-
'-^''
become
likes
polite.
Most of our
little
have very
foundation.
idle gossip,
large proportion of
from fancied
slights, or
our temper
it
which we
really our
interest to do so.
But
it is
who
is
To do
this
7:^
.iRT OF COJ>rVERSATlO.\-
^o: opportunity
\
/
to
escape,
however
trifling,
of gratify-
ing others.
Bite
in politeness,
is
alert to recal
anything
may
whom you
no matter how
l)ered, includes
trifling.
Politeness, be
it
remem-
to their
J\ The
j
first
step
to be
any
society.
/ Tf
y^our
knowledge creditable,
eccentricity
and
'
if
to avoid
making yourself
conspicuous," there
no reason
why you
should
not vex
assured, anywhere.
Do
and a
little
if
any
effort
whatever be
made
to
conciliatory way.
POLITEJVESS.
ITS BASIS.
73
company.
iy^
you
to do
society, banish
or say forthwith.
self but act
Do
promptly.
Ask
for
an introduction
to
something better
is
suggests
itself.
The
first
step in politeness
to
make such
efforts,
In society
to
Do
not think
it
for
ly or indifferently.
mind be
active, {a7id
it
so
will occur to
attention
courtesy
fore
is
and there-
you
will probably
And
if,
a minute
to render the
same
74
that
vice.
ART OF COJVVERSATIuJV
you do
it all
The young of
/
remember
that all
home
circle
and others, as
begins
at a party,
like
charity,
at
home.
Boys and
girls
whatever, from
all
The higher
ety,
ladies or
in soci-
politeness, the
more
humble people.
French
ladies
and gentlemen
acquaintances, while
it
who
minister to their
God
they were so
discreditable
it
many
machines.
Of
late years
little
this
modified, but
is
still
very general.
If
it
7ft
it,
may
see
it
as soon as possible.
Remember
tht t
to
la-
to
dies, gifts,
however
shell,
trifling,
and that a
lany
little
thing
is
[pliment indeed.
in-
You
your
not,
may fancy
that
that
But do
grumble over
that
it,
to yourself or to
Remember
you have
at least exercised
Persevere in your
will soon find the
you
reward
i?i
yourself.
it
Remember
the
Arab proverb
If the fishes do
God
will."
all
By
your
remembering
which
fall
under
not in body.
The one
Begin by
strictly ob-
handing
'
ART OF
COJ^VEHSATIOJSr.
by rendering
all services
and
and
fit.
Do
whom you
acting.
care very
.
little,
nor
it if
I neg-
Be up and
skill in conversation, to
him
If you would
know what
it
is
to feel noble,
motive,
A man
artist
who can
ease anywhere.
It is said of Callot,
an eminent
French
tury, that he
in a pasquinade
by
At
that time, to
dom and
it
Callot*s an-
POLITEJSTESS.
ITS BASIS.
77
To
this
day the in
cident
soul.
is
cited as
Politeness
foibles of
faults
and
those
whom
you. meet.
Cultivate this
is
The world
severe in
faults
of
be.
may
feud.
It is not
which you
may have
received
from any one, unless there exist some urgent necessity for so doing.
Politeness
I
is
whom you
meet, and
It is
[in
manifesting a cordial
little
interest in them.
shown by devoting a
" remembrances "
for friends.
from
whom you
dress,
conform
your
may
after
be.
It
is
polite
and complimentary
to inquire'
^8
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJSr
It is polite
when you
are
oth-
make
those
who
are assembled
in any place,
avoid
who
enters
your house or
office,
you
are, the
more widely
people.
will
tesies to
/ /
humble
It is polite to do every-
him or her
and
is
not unreasonable.
to
It
is
polite to
make no
al-
J lusions
age.
It
is
women
trifles.
It is
polite to take
It
is
polite to
gratify others
who
differ
with you.
in
It is polite to to punish
never take
it
upon yourself
it
any way
POIITEJ\rESS
jolite
ITS BASIS.
any one or hurt
it.
79
his
offended
feolings in
to apologize for
as clearly
more vulgar
man
is,
the
which
dear to others.
It is
to accept
humshow
and
it is
polite to
who have
something
And
it
is
more than
polite to interpose
practise
the politeness
in every hut
and workshop.
He may show
it
it
every
time he speaks to
act in
^ny
is
in every
which another
concerned.
If in addition
to constant courtesy
make
a good
bow
is
prompt
and become
much
to
qualify
himself
for
that
conversation^
inter-
which, as
80
-^RT OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
itself
be entirely qual
by the nature,
it.
habits,
maintaining
I trust that
if
the reader
who aims
at this accom-
rules,
it
of
"mere
book.
To bow
and always at
ease, to
lit-
walk
tle
and many
awkward
self well in all respects at table, require either familiarity with people
who do
all
But
to form,
even unaided,
is
pos-
It is a
81
CHAPIER
IX.
is
The same
is
and other
illustrations of a
more
for-
mal
He who
aims at con-
Yet
in the
in limiting
your
stories to
same party,
two
stories.
g2
to laugh at
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV
and the
man who
known by repeatmg a
small
What
shall I say cf
men who
who
practise
it for
Do
/
/
you think
it
new, oi
will be
new
to
your au-
Lot
it
be m place
that
is
to say, illustra-
tive of son:)ething
tion, for
a story forced in at
hazards
is
very
ridiculous.
Of such awkward
introductions the
:
"
An
Old gentleman
tell
he was wont to
As
it
was
sometimes
difficult to
an opportunity to intro-
duce
ent.
'
it,
he
would exclaim
^y
gun? By
the
And
There
also
m company
necessary
to
83
At
last, at
strongest
man
Not
so,''
"
You
your-
than Samson."
"
How
"
to be
The
jest
com-
mended.
In telling
and yet
If
you can
tell
improved.*
The
best story-tellers
it
seldom mimic
and even
Charles Lamb,
in his
own joke,"
the
human nature." ' This is," man to give a treat without partaking of it to sit esurient at his own table, and commend the flavour of his venisop upon th
;
it
himself."
84
-^RT
OF C0J\rVERSAT20Jy.
by avoiding
exaggeration.
Never vamp up an
faces.
new
dates and
It
is
you
to
as
you certainly
will be.
at being
hundreds of years
his
own
What
is
to be
thought of a
for veracity
and honor
a jest
?
is
An
effort at
to
be avoided, since
many
Europe display
in narration,
effort at effect
their
own stories, and others who will fondly ask " Did you hear that little thing I got off the other day ? "
Some
that
by informing you
you have already
Others will
in-
it is
it,
heard
as
it is all
85
or
praise
by inquiring
if it
As
would converse
stuff, lest his
well, against
Unclean-
liness
in
details of personal
of being disgusted,
and incidents of
No
It is
wicked"
jest general-
ly
flits
away
mains
to be too
often
memory.
SQ
ART OF
COJ\rVERSATIOJ\r.
all
It
is
not at
all
dis-
would
make
indulge in
many
varieties
of verbal
filth
me when I
attribute
the .development of
after
much
results in vice
mor, which
is
it
may
there
is
nothing
manly or
spirited in
all
man
or
woman
of the world,
all
Anecdotes should by
are little insulta
means be new
old ones
A French
87
A good anecdote,
aptly told,
;
is,
however,
serving,
it
may
be,
A
;
man who
never
an anecdote
is
generally dull
is
little else
in conversation
frequently described as
I/'
who
exhorts his readers to invariably attribute the paternity of puns and conundrums to some other person,
you
not
But
it
certainly
is
that
such an elaborate
of wit, as a
it,
pun often
that if
seetris to be, is
your own.
Depend upon
much
desire,
reputa-
tion as a punster as
though
but there
is
something petty
in
St Meurice.
gg
-ART
OF COJSrVERSATIOJV.
is
generally
and
why
the
as such, with
much
respect.
while
modern
own
but there
certainly no
they
elicit.
Good puns
They
may
force
point a moral,
and give
A pun on the
When
Charles
may have
nounced
like
(/a7i(j
a glove), he made,
it
is
true, a
It
is
and other
are
anecdotes
for
such matters, he
mH
thug
gfj
the shoddy
a
mny
'
not
make himself
'
by repeating
old
Joes
90
ART OF COJSrVERSATW^t
CHAPTER
r QUESTIONING.
X.
ITS MISAPPLICATION,
AND
ITS
ADVANTAGES Ul
CONVEBSATION.
EVER
pated.
reluctant
answer
may
be antici-
some
persons shape
versation.
much
of their con;
is
The
habit
one which
who
Without meaning
it,
he either puta
OF
thing, or compels
QUESTIOJVlJsrO,
91
evasion.
The
What
do you
all
tliink of
the
the temptation.
able,
Many show
manner
make
little in
If
and
say: ''Oh
see;"
or,
"Ah! a
friend?
bog pardon."
Women
''
and shrewd, or
It
is,
it
freely.
in fact, a species of
is
resorted
and supe-
riority.*
Most of
sons
my
"
who once
:
vaguely
*
What do you
think of A., or B.
" ex-
in his novel
Mr. Chakles Dickens has in the character of '* Rosa Dartle,** David Copperfieldy set forth, with great skill, manj
92
-^RT
OF COJVTERSATIOJyr
pecting no news, but hoping for a display of weakness or dislike on your part.
serpents of society.
It is
with them
questions.
all
impertinent,
The
it
however, find
an easy matter
to
answer with a
medium
People are
tioned.
own
is
exploits,
may
be induced to impart
will frequently,
much
that
interesting,
and he
and perhaps
T^KIJVG LIBERTIES.
98
CHAPTER
TAKDIO LIBERTIES.
Xli^: i
IMPUDENCE.
8TABIK0.
HOSE
spired
tf^^^viil jISXs
whose conversation
is
in-
by courtesy and
refined
by
known
There are
entirely
gar,
circles,
among the
liberties
where
are continuis
ally taken,
even
an impression that
them
spiritless.
This belief
is is
encour-
effect that
" there
nothing
impudence
to succeed
" brass
is
better
94
-ART
practical
OF
COJSrVERSATlOJV.
it all is
The
meaning of
of others
may
suits the
so,
especially if he can
by
Let the young reader determine from the beginning that anything which
dence
is to
may
be secured to
much
by
all
by
respect.
Firmitself,
and boldness
observed.
in a piiblio
who cannot
They ask
fidence
TAKIJ^TG
LIBERTIES
whom
95
they treat
irri-
in
as inferiors,
table.
To remedy
they take
liberties
apd defy
the consequences.
A very common
staring at ladies.
is
the
ia
To do
so in
is
contemp-
Ignorant young
men
it is
frequently do this
able to the other sex and that they are in fact pay-
often
masked under
is
re-
would think
differently.
I have heard
subjected themselves to
left
many
an-
good graces.
I have
96
ART OF
COJVVERSATIOJV.
and take a
It is difficult to
vantafire
Yet a
is
of the kind
which
many
donable.
Never
lation
infringe
it
be
what
it
A young
lady
may
be aa
and a
girl of the
utmost
spirit, originality
is
for-
knows
will
is
men may
all
in correspond
mg
regard to the
feel-
suspicion of
''
slowness."
in others
and bo
TJiRlJ\rG
LIBERTIES.
.ireluctant to
i
/people.
For
1/ less fitted
//
honesty
is
always questionable.
Insolence
is
of
it-
others
9H
ART OF
noj\rvEBsaTT:)jr.
CHAPTER Xn.
Of JLXGUMSirr in CONTEBSATION.
IN TDE
of
who ABE
**
ALTTATI
Riam
To prove yourself in
show that another
It is ill-bred to
the right
is
to
in
the
wrong.
do
this be-
fore witnesses,
and
it is
courteous to
avoid
time.
it,
so far as
is
possible, at
any
Men
It
is
are
much more
much
as possiis
gained
AR G UMEJ>rT
IJ\r
COJVVER SA TIOJST.
inferior
99
mind, experience,
ridiculous.
If you are
known
who
You
ing over
much more
evading a
it.
strife
name,
in-
man.
Much more
skill
the one
who
make
determined to
The inconvenience
well illustrated
by a French story
les'soL
which I
translate,
The author
The
treasons
the Marquis do
Madame
men
Geoffrin,
who assembled
of letters
iOO
-^^^
OF COJVVERSATlOJr.
man
9f learning,
known
dj
many
"
political
economy.
Geoffrin received
Madame
him kindly,
as she
and
protegd
never
and no
One
day, how-
when about
to enter,
Madame
'' ^
How
is
she
gone out
But I
see
Monsieur
Morellet
there
Why,
at the
!
the
Abbe
!
Delille,
humming an
1'
air
window.
is
Ha
is
Abbe
How
"
'
Madame,
sir,
" 'But
she
ill,
then?
Of
Madame
Geoffrin
Sir, I
ARGUMEJVT
''
IJ^
COJVVERSATIOjyT.
IQl
irresistible,
bowed
lite to
to his patron
to tell
of yesterday.
his strange
"
tion.
He
make nothing of
recep-
Had he
or in vain,
in order to
prove that
Madame
Saint
Lambert
you are
in
my
friend
When
seal,
and presented
it.
it
him
to
read
The
latter
opened the
frin,
letter.
Lam-
"
'
I close
my
door,
;
my
learned
M.
bo vexed to death
little
am
still a
attached to
life^
102
-^RT
OF coj^vehsatiojv.
is,
Your M.
in short, intolerable
'
he
is al-
ways in
*'
the right
to the learned
assured, gave
him a long
logical
very annoying.
Madame
Geoffrin.
M.
B
;
He
circle
and
his conversation,
He
became
men
Even
in inferiol* society
:
we may hear
il
uttered, as a
reproach
''
" Tiens
veut avoir
du raison
in
''
Ah
the
AR G UME ATT
right
!
103
"
who have
me
that
in society
is
indeed misplaced.
It is
wrong
104
ART OF
COJ^VERSATIOJf.
CHAPTER XHL
Of IHB ETPLUEKCB 0? WOMEN OK CONTERSATIOK.
MARBTtn
HE
may have
consisted exclusively of
From
tellect
the days
when
all
the in
Aspasia,
down
to the
French
sa-
centre of the
at
chorus,
we
find that
any
has owed
its
men.
105
but their
many
tricity,
may
The
women
Lord
ment.
polish,
best part of
and
from assid-
who has
in her
ity,
has
it
power
and
do
much
good.
It
is
scholar, the
artist,
they
also require
may
rub off the rust of retirement, and realize with pleasure that they are really in the world, and of
it.
When drawn
more readily
refined,
and the
rough diamonds of their knowledge are cut and polished into the most attractive forms.
Such women
sion,
intuitively
its
to be agree-
able to
and
to elicit
6
106
ART OF
COJVVERSATIOJV,
best qualities.
attentive to
all
The
young
who has
is
often
whom
ordi-
nary
civilities.
He
does not
know
that
it
is
her
pride to
make something
raw
woman
is
elevated
by her own
all.
abilities,
the more
versation
make
is
most
p(?i'fectly
developed.
ert
is
The
beneficial influence
in consequence incalculable.
The eminent
may
developed in the
summer of
IQ?
to
less the
is
conscious of possessing
assemble those
who may
be thereby benefitted
all
vanity, and
may
be
left in all.
If she
may
to be regretted that in
England and
in
Amer-
when favored by
wealth.
be,
.
for
way
The
their
result
is
that ladies
when
and ex
out
frequently shut
108
es, in
-^RT OF COjYVERSATIOJST.
certain circles, constitute
and
is
would
people dance."
come what
tation
is
it
should,
when
possi-
homes
company has
enough
to
moting conversation among them, without the additional anxiety lest a supper be well served,
and
lest
la-
ring, but it is in
own power
to
remedy the
evil.
Let them
re-
In
our large
cities,
or with very
little,
much
good, but
''
par-
still
prevalent.
that
Young men
remember
that
man
is
to be pitied
social in-
109
He whc
influ-
The lowest
orders,
it is
true, can-
and
who aim
on
such a
basis.
young men
is
to cul-
This counsel
every
that^
where given.
to use a
French expression,
or,
there are
women and
women,"
A young
cultivates
confined to second-rate
and depreciation
is
may
any rasteadily
man, and
least of all to a
man who
is
and
Fortunately
it is
He who
reads much,
who
expresses him-
110
self well,
-ART
OF COJVVERSATIOM,
will, if
he make
every
effort,
who have
seen
much
of the world,
to all
is
therefore
to be strongly
commended
To
"He who
Ey
would the
"rauaj;^
with t he mojher
cial intercourse
is far
begin."
beginning in so-
more likely
ladies
who
are
any
DISAGREEABLE SUBJECTS.
Ill
CHAPTER
XIV.
HE
Samuel
nasty ideas."
I do
To be scrupulously
much
a matter of habit
But
of their neatness as to
their
make
a constant parade of
They
112
JlRT OF COJVVERSATIOK.
the
though
discussing their
own
ailings,
and
^P^sia or liver-complaint
body.
at
any time
any
Some
will enter
ance.
Can
it
really interest
any one
to
know
that a per-
it
it is
seldom agree-
company
that
it
he
is
eating very
little ?
''
would be
ing
!
to exclaim,
"
When
who
much
food, does
it
suggest
siology,
any agreeable
and does
it
prove
We
all
know
DISAGREEABLE SUBJECTS,
bad servants, children's teethings, the
cines, casualties
effects
US
of medi-
also be
more or
who
are
bj no means absurdly
There
sity of talking
it is
very cer-
in society," but
among
his
most familiar
associ
ates.
The
sonal topics
panions,
all times.
generally formed
is
among
intimate com-
As
with
reform,
it
should
114
ART OF
COJSrVERSATIOJSf
CHAPTER XV
XHB PARADOX IN CONVEESATION.
OMMON -PLACE,
talking
steady men,
among
themselves,
may
stories,"
But with
women,
and
volatile
men
fun finds
Again, an
"
that
Why
is this ?
"
Has
men
THE PARADOX.
invariably resemble
habits of thought ?
115
men
same fun
brilliant success
among
his
>
are, as I
A para-
dox
is also
worth hearing.
true in
all to
fact,
is
at once felt
by
whom
addressed.
To
represents
^the
ugliest of all
t he
beauties, or the
is
mo^t
^^arming of alLthe
may
contain
plain
women,
a paradox which
much
It is a
much
as facts, unless
be figures, since
these,
means of presenting
" There
is
no
fool
"
Men who
the last ditch for their country, are generally careful to avoid the first,"
116
-ART
OF COJ^VERSATIOJS".
in-
imitatii
a jeweller's window.
"Not
since I
"I
can
rudely to a
replied.
girl.
''
The paradox
on a topic
is
easily cultivated,
is
of any importance,
not unfrcqucntly
reflections.
The mind
pun
;
may be
it
trained to form
it
as readily as the
but
latter, that it
may
pun
The paradox
not an element of
first class
im-
portance in conversation.
it
But
it
very commonplace.
There are
those, however,
;
who abuse
as,
this
form of
for instance,
men
much
special
THE PARADOX.
studj and research that some
opinion
is false,
117
generally received
mixed
society, startle
and
When
no objec-
But
it is
who
partee.
among
those
who
fails entirely to
produce the
may
young
ladies
He
the only
his sanity
result
118
ART OF C0JWERSTIOJ>r
CHAPTER XVL
01 SELFISHNESS IN TRITLES.
SMALL SACBIFIGEB.
MAN can
world,
he learn to
little
sacrifice selfishness
in
many
fort of others.
men
the
often intensely
shrewd
some of the
making way,
not
all
SELFISHJV'ESS
tics,
IJST
TRIFLES.
trivial
119
courtesies
while
little
sacrifices
and
the
it
incense of vol-
Hence
by
^'
very nice"
girls
to the
These excellent
may
have been,
standard in value,
great.
while
It
is
the
so that he
man
may
be,
he
is
sacrifices
of comfort
If bad
men
make themselves
them
son
at their
attractive,
good
men
should beat
is is
there
no rearapidly
why they
The world
120
-^^r
OF COJ\rVERSATIOj\
and uncouth
Puritanism which in
its
No
conversation
little
Yet such
is
the pic-
ture which
is
would
many
Such examples
and should
and boor-
the breaking
any precept
far
in the Decalogue.
The man of
talent,
the
Jn
the
first place, as
all
ability is
SELFISHJV'ESS
intercourse with society.
IJV
TRIFLES.
125
And
the
man
he
others
who should
whom
may
Some of
men who
habitually spoken of
its
among
those
who
are ignorant of
One
of the
sacrifices
very com-
beauty, or
"a
and
flirt
or laugh
till
supper time.
But
if
one does
all
must
with
somebody.
'those
groups,
who
till
They gather
chair
by chair
the whole
room beis
in the
charmed
stars."
circle
is
friend with
whom you
122
-^RT
OF
COJ>>rVERSATIOJ\r.
you
will soon
stream.
No
lady
any gentleman
piqued should
may
little tact.
It is well to ascertain
who
friend
when
it
devolves on
you
to
make
dis-
strangers acquainted,
cretion,
it
and ascertain, or at
whether
duce much
who
captive,
two by two.
If you
know anything
of music,
Few
If there be a
maa
SBLFISHJVESS
or
IJ\r
TRIFLES,
it
123
woman
of celebrity, present,
to desire
ral for
you
an acquaintance.
If you are
in
entertainer,
you
will be appreciated,
by
any
ladies
who seem
to be silent
and
In the
social
Then,
if
ever,
you should
make every
your acceptance.
A sacrifice
of this nature
is al-
ways appreciated.
ate,
and
it
ill
you can
must be
ture.
regard
it
it
as a debt of honor
which
paid,
and save
Remember
so
that in
as
it
any
case
it
will not
have
to
cost
you
much
gentleman
124
ART OF
COJ\rVERSATIOJr
CHAPTER XVn.
OF CONVERSATION AT DINNER -PARTIEB,
HEN
each
is
dinner-party
ability possessed
by each
to
converse well.
who assemble
fashionable," or
*'
rather fashionable."
''
It
may
be
extremely conservative,"
highly respectable, or
it
may
be one of the
It
numerous
two or more of
these.
may
DIJVJSrER-PARTIES.
the younger branches, or
125
to the respect-
by marriage,
it
able and
fashionable,
and
may
consist of nice;
island,
unknown
which
maintains very
little
continent of society.
political,
may
be diplomatic, or only
and
it
may
be sectarian.
The lady
of the
house
as decidedly
immersed
German.
It
may
be the party of
a rising
is
young
who
or of a real es,
tate auctioneer, or
prominent editor
or
it
may
be
If you
entertainer,
you
may
character of those
Of one
thing you
whom you are invited to meet. may be certain, that the more
inter-
course,
and the
less
acquaintance
among them.
There
is
a freemasonry
Much
126
-^I^T
OF COJVVERSATIOJV
who
will readily engage
to
of a congenial disposition,
in animated conversation,
all
around, and
is all
ren-
who seems
reserved,
some
trifle
cannot
fail to
suggest.
On
Lead your
may happen
to be familiar,
dis-
it,
There
it
is
no
soil in
which some-
no woman who
may
him, or bestow
it.
Much may
be done in ascertain-
whom
Avoid
all
egotism whatever,
DLYJSrER'PARlIES.
direct or implied.
127
Many
it
among
strangers
is
necessary
give auto-bio-
Rely upon
it,
if
enough
by a
diffident
woman,
or,
what
is
on
Absolute reis
unpardonable
tainer,
it is
will be
if
you cannot
it
find someto
animated
Be always on
the alert to
128
-ART
OF COJVVERSATIOJ\r.
them every
Never
of hospitality,
to relieve the
would be well
;
if those
who give
dinners
aa
is
to
sideration,
and
to give
you an opportunity
your good
to display
your
intelligence, or cause
qualities to be
may
and other
thousand
which
rise
up
at every instant
when
saloji,
what you
see done
by well-bred
persons.
The
aristocratic
DIJVJVER-PARTIES
parlor where good
129
it
company assembles,
will be
an
effect, ^^
*
is
the touch-stone
of a gentleman.
vulgarity in
who may
successfully conceal
life,
is
sure to
betray
*
it
La
Viti
BoiHSE.
Paris, 1858.
ISO
dRT OF COJVVERSATIOM
CHAPTER XVIIL
Cr KLBSn PEOPLE.
TIMIDITY.
ITS
CUWL
jHERE
are
men
nity to
rudeness.
Speech
it
is
said is golden
and
silence is silver,
it
to brass.
encourage in
defect of
manner a natural
gives
them an
air of digni-
fied reserve.
There could be no
greater mistake.
When
in compelling
him
an
in-
burden of conversation.
It is
and of cynical
no place either
DJJVJVER'PARTIES,
131
perfectly
humane art of
conversation.
To endeav*
silence
is
by mere
not
sustained
by the intellect.
them
are women,
who are
silent in society
and
avail
them-
when
in
Among weak
and
and
own
who
own "set*'
they
ness,
''
re
afflicted
varied
by
little
talk."
employ them
in sustaining differences of
an unpleasant impression.
accomplished conversationalist
may
at least practice
He
will often
make a highly
when no word
at the
132
-ART
OF
COJ\rVERSATIOJ>f.
Should he persistently
fail to
achieve a com-
it
actually becomes a
"
it
will
wear
off,"
to cure
itself
It
may
evil effects
life,
in the
its
rules in
company with
He
versationalist
who
is
and
such a person will always take pleasure in conquering the painful diffidence of others, and in breaking
away the
limits
^*
life."
I33
Many
when
the truth
versed
that,
*'
it
will be
found
in
these
If you are so unfortunate as to feel a tremor at the thought of encountering strangers in society, re-
member
sons,
with
have no
difficulty in
conversing singly.
whom
You
it
no
diffiis
plunge, which
who
no notice of
it
above
you a^oid
134
-ART
OF
COJSrVERSATIOJSr.
when
you
make you
may
aid
your success in
life.
CORRECT LAJVGUAGE.
186
CHAPTER
XIX.
SPEAK
correctly,
is
dic-
defective,
and your
you
will
probably use
many
expressions
which, you will be surprised to learn, are, if not incorrect, at least to be avoided.
Do not
suppose them
136
to be trifles.
^R'J^
OF COJVVERSATJOjY.
sosiet^z^^ilifiu-slightfist
In good
inacc^^
tage.
"entirely
of a
peculiarity
pronunciation
if
which
betrays
early ignorance.
But
you converse
correctlyy
you
When
it
is
timidity
in
ex-
your language
ous reception.
you
to
a courte-
it is
sure
of respect.
You would
by turns
In the be-
CORRECT LAJSTGUAGE^
137
very
difficult to
positive
expressive,
When we
very promptly.
And
impediment with
and
fluently,
have to contend.
vA^jglan^
_phraseia^redlx J^^J[iftJorJbh^
trouble in
Jhinkin^ But
for this
very reason
it
should be avoided.
Endeavor
to exert
your inge-
slang expression.
is,
and express
it
Re-
member
purity,
that those
at the
who
and
employ slang.
Q The
arid correct
N
\
which cannot
aid
him materially
in the pur-
The
first
indication
X38
-^^^ O^ COJ^VERSATIOJ>r.
of genius in
Such a habit
bad
grammar, and
But
to
modify a fault
is
not
remove
it.
Resolve
that
you
easy to give
it
English, than
make
However great
which earns
for
may
be,
the labor
never
lost
habit-
difficult
for
those
opportunities for
conversation with
educated
may
be of
common
oc-
currence in books.
As
CORRECT LAJVGUAGE,
Lovels,
it
139
remember
unfor-
who
strive to express
liable.
Its effect
it
is
itself, it
may
may
foi:
Whenever you
you
are!
it
^^f
be great, resist
it
for rely
upon
it,
if
there be in
slightest doubt
on the
subject,
you
make a
mistake.
its
meaning can
it
is
both
rude and
possibly
silly to
may
not understand
But never
attempt,
140
-^-Rr
OF
coj\rvER8ATioj\r,
belongs.
If
you have
will
a very vul-
gar error.
much
manners.
but after
many
However
cornectly
fails to
an actor
fall into
may pronounce
English, he seldom
CORRECT
BIS
life,
LAJSTGUAGE.
141
and of
action,
His business
life,
it.
is to
extravagant in
is to
while tb
subdue
Do
not, however,
II Should you do
sustain
to
it
so,
fail
become
is
The
and
great
this is
charm of conversaunavoidably
lost to
tion
to be natural,
is
his thoughts
Eemember
that
wHen according
orator:
to
Whately,
we exclaim of an
"how
exists.
elo-
quent
SELF EDUCATIOIJ,
QEA^ERAL KJVOWLEDGE
145
CHAPTER XX.
OF ACQUIRINQ GENERAL KNOWLEDGE.
NE
still
is
may
converse well at
times
essential
who
would
excel in conversation.
The
literary information
which
two-fold
derived
whose educa-
degree that
lar plan
site.
it
will be unnoticed.
To do
this,
is
a regu
all that
requi
Knowledge
Tie
46
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV,
for
he
will
have
who
least
is
desirous of
mastered the
scrupulous care.
tries
and their
cities is
I have heard a
five
languages,
in America.
In connec-
from reviews,
each country.
all
I have already spoken of the advantage to be derived from the association together, in a club, of per-
If such a club
were
rate
also to take
that he
subject,
it.
there
would be
Aa
QEJVERAL KJ\rOWLEDGE.
I47
name should be
it
legibly written on a
illus-
and gov-
meeting
till it
may
be presumed that
with them.
world
may
ence
to
subject,
review
what
it.
knowledge
you
A
to
it it
though
Bible.
obtain
to sell
every book
Re-
to
continually.
it
determining from
ciation of
But beware,
ary
as
many
do,
you
memory.
148
JlRT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
grammar, that joui
Bear in mind
object
is
in studying the
much
greater
than
if
indifferent teacher.
After becoming somewhat familiar with the general principles of the language, it will be time to be-
For
this
purpose, I
recommend Gold-
the
you
follow.
Re-
to study,
understanding
inevitably succeed.
Having done
tc
down
in
the
ensuing chapter.
will
now
daj
fail to realize,
by day,
its
LITERARY COMPOSITIOM
149
CHAPTER XXI.
Of SELF-INSTRUCTION IN LITERARY COMPOSITION, OR WRITING.
T HAS
added,
gantly,
talk well,
might be
write ele-
will be
sure to exert a
If a young
man
he would do
and
sion
copij
from
it
become familiar
Having done
let
this
till
he has
filled
a few quires,
150
were
-^^^
telling
OF COJVVERSATIOJ^l.
a slate.
From
of
and,
re-
what
write
is
it,
greater
importance,
should then
have observed
culti-
Revolu-
tionary war,
who were
raised to
offi-
became excellent
By
humor
into
composi-
When
confident that
letter,
to
com-
Do
"Love,"
or
Rather describe, as ao
LITERARY COMPOSITION.
cttrateiy as possible,
\^\
conversation,
and endeavor
it is
to
use
short
words.
called, is rapidly
going out
So
you
written.
Many
defects
observation.
who
will
ment
to his revision
him
for advice
you do
Rely upon
that
it
will
latter.
If
you
can, after
months of constant
in writing,
advanced rapidly.
Literary composition
is
and
to
and especially
152
-^RT
OF
COJ\rVEBSATIOJ)r.
grammar and
dictionary
Many
of those
who have
possibly been
into
noyed by entreaties
for
I would however encourage every one to cultivate the art of writing so far as to be able to " pen
an
to
when
there
is
an occasion
do
so.
themselves in
and
may
frequently be
turned to advantage.
to be
will entitle
him
to esteem.
No
the time
to
tions.
all
ele-
carefully.
It is better to
do
this,
LITERARY COMPOSITION".
writing,
153
Parker's
Exercises
if it is
to be
commended
but
The Elements
The
of
Henry Coppde,
(Philadel-
H. Butler &
Co.,) and
Scholar's
Com-
panion, by R.
to be excellent
W.
Whately's
Lectures on
to
Elements of Rhetoric,
and Blair's
may
next be studied
for obtaining
from perusing
Enquiry
into
Kames.
I can not too earnestly
insist
on a steady adher-
To keep
154
itself
-^RT
an
art,
OF COJVVERSATIOJ^,
i
difficult
of application.
al^
for instance, bo
made
com-
As
to,
the
read-
at every step
more
identified.
he will
find that
common
and
that,
in consequence,
it
the
acquisition of
gresses.
pro-
that
tween the
difibrent branches
of study.
Let him
here laid
perfectly master
the
first
principles as
facility in their
management and
more
application,
and he
way
clearly as he advances.
He
will
however be
forming groups of
facts,
to
his
life,
LITERARY COMPOSITIOJV.
acquires,
tion
Ifg
and rapidly
loses,
which he would
retain,
it
of
to
comes
knowledge,
some group of
facts
fre-
quently reviewed.
It is wonderful
how
rapidly the
mind gathers
it is
retained,
in this
some months
practice of noting
down
them
at
intervals,
whole by occasional
strengthening the
with the young.
results
in
memory
156
-^^T
OF COA'VERSATIOJ^
CHAPTER XXn.
OP EEADINQ.
F IT
ton
good Cyclopaedia.
is
at present,
to be
recommended
relative
as containing
to
information
America
which
work.
is
to be
found in no other
When,
in the course of
your
conversation, or reading, a
is
subject
and as
far as
is
on
your memory.
The student
will
derive
great advantage
from
OF READIJVG.
bound blank books, with a wide margin.
157
On
refer-
its
name and
definition in
your book
adding to
it,
may be
acquired :n
Write
down
the
name
extracts from
its
to.
read withoutwriting,
to be guilty of
downrighl
Make
out a
list
language in both prose and poetry, giving the preference to those of long established reputation, and
may
occur to
do
it
so.
Read
will assist
you materially
author's style.
It will be well in
many
by reading
travel,
essays, biographies,
standard books of
;
since
am
the surest
means of
solid literature.
Young men
158
ART OF
COJ>rVERSATIOJV.
I
to devote .himself
to
months of reading of
first class
historians.
For
interest,
everything
almost
memory
as soon as perused.
For
this reason I
would recomare
mend a
careful perusal of
as, for
Days
of Pompeii," which
Roman
in
Antiquities.
made
centre
around which
group further
set
down
either in
memory or
If this habit
hered
to,
gratifying.
Every newspaper
will be
found to con-
tain paragraphs
tivating knowledge,
members
these
to obtain
AmoAg
OF READlJVa
the following
159
"
may
find
place
Lippincott's
Gen
Critical Dictionary of
Eng-
by the Appletong
and G. P. Putnam, of
New
York.
To
these
may
of
men
Compendium of English
Litera-
andHallam's ''Introduction
to the Literature
Centuries."
also
Handbook of Gen-
eral Literature,"
by Mrs. Botta.
should
Every American
make himself
its
tho-
Let
this
object
There
is
no more
infallible
results.
Shakespeare
is
60
>ART
OF COJ^VERSATIOJ^.
Make
it
a matter of
of every
name
to
have some-
by teaching
a.
we have
contributed, as
If
this fact
will not
in vain.
The reader
Gris wold's
" Prose
enable him to
of which
it
the subject
Triibner's
" Bibliographical
in
Guide
to
Lon-
1859.
It is
it
gives,
under
American
literature.
OF READIJVG.
The study of general
literature
161
may
be advanta-
Let tha
with
Introductions
and Biographical
Beginning
Notices,"
"with
by Henry W. Longfellow.
is
what
by frequent
it
up by ob-
volume.
He
make
beginnings,
is
He
Let
it
all
be col-
Copy and
circle
all
clip assiduously.
Bring
into
your
reading
facts
them
freely.
In connection with
rive great
Sismondi, (Bohn's
Standard Library
' ;
'
to be
ob-
162
delphia,
-^^T
1848)
OF
*'
COJS-VERSATIOJSr.
bj George Ticknor
Literature of Europe,"
Sheldon
&
'Co.
1863);
Max
to the
Miiller's
"German
Xiy.
*'
ton,
by Abraham
Mills,
(Boston,
Litera-
1854)
ture,"
Roman
Classic
verse
by Charles
Abraham
Elton, (Philadelphia
F- Bell, 1854.)
& Brown,
of Boston,
Henry G. Bohn,
in London.
These
books
a catalogue of which
;
may
be obtained from
every bookseller
which are
at a
sale
in
our
principal
American
cities,
shortei
OF
may
consult the
''
REAJDIJVG.
163
col-
3358.)
This
list
may
fully read so
many
As he
progresses,
and
his inter-
awakened, he
may
history,
From
easily
life.
As an
vol-
may
be
commended
to
young
readers.
To peruse
but,
what
is
worse, weak-
be convenient, one
may
pro-
know what
is
general knowledge of
154
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJ\r.
It is mel-
many men
intellects.
Never
Its
let
make your
conversation
MORAL
AJSTD
MEJ^TAL PHILOSOPHY,
165
CHAPTER XXm.
HOBAL AND MENTAL FHILOSOPHT.
ONE
even
partially
with
the
in
philosophy,
as
it
is
of
meta-
Erudition
as
is
much
or in
To make
" The
beginning
in
general
literature,
166
History of
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
by Dr.
0.
S.
Philosophy,"
Henry,
Brothers,)
may
be commended,
followed by the
Philosophy," by G. H. Lewes,
ton,
tory of
With
may
be con-
" Fleming's
Vocabulary
list
of
Philosophy,"
containing a valuable
of which
it
treats,
edited
by Rev.
C.
P. Krauth,
(Philadelphia,
*'
Smith
&
English,
I860,)
and
(New York,
sources
Appleton
&
Co.)
find
From
his
will readily
way
I
original
commend a
it
careful study
is
unquestion-
and
classi-
man who
has mas-
science,
and
JESTHETICS.
167
CHAPTER XXIV
01 ART IN CONVERSATION.
^STHEIICS.
ART
in
some
form
is
fre-
is
ad-
that
possess
regarding
been made in
literature, a
know-
much
of our reading.
If this be
will be of
more
real avail
in irregular
"dilettantism,''
or
168
-^^2"
OF COjYVERSATIOJST
any kind,
art
to
whom
The study
branches
may
be ad-
vantageously pursued,
general history
first,
and
principles,
and secondly,
in
and observation
present themselves.
who would be a
at least the
names and
to
become familiar
4of
l.'world,
and
is
to
know something
Archi-
tecture
and
is,
his-
religion, literature,
each other,
and/
common
national feeling.
All of
reflected in their
As
soon as a
new
style of architecture
mSTHETICS.
spread over Europe,
it
169
you
will
have advanced
"the study of
aesthetics,'" or
and
fine arts."
Do
Unless you do
is
so,
you
There
is
no such thing
mere matter of
taste."
Anna Jameson,
especially in her
Ticknor
Also, for
Sculptors,
l70
-^^T OF COJVVERSATIOJS,
Eipley and Bayard Tayloi^
compiled by George
(New
sible
Por reading.
"The
"
(New York,
1847,) "
Works
0. Miiller's
"Art
Hints, "
also
"Art
Studies,"
United States,
ble,
JESTHETWS.
1823.) and
''
171
bj Winkelmann.
In Ruskin there
is
much
Esthetics by
reputation
is
its
His
writ-
have
books
may
be safely read.
to sim-
"Whatever
is
read
172
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
Having " been
art,
to
it
Euhas
-who
rope "
is
no proof of a knoivledge of
unless
man
know
far
more on the
subject
all
the
Beware,
country
artists,
is
too, of indiscriminate
prolific
admiration.
This
in
self-taught,
very
ignorant
hy the
old masters.
Become a
scholar,
dazzle you.
Never imagine
tures,"
that
any one
is
''
a judge of pic-
or an
you know
is
history,
and
also a
much
general
knowledge.
may
indeed have
*'
up many
details,
and possess
a picture-
little else.
Painting
so nearly
ignorant
man who
has become
is
with the
a pamful incongruity.
173
a gallerjj
we may be reminded
man
of
error,
it is
was devoted
efforts,
to
art
and
it is
by
great results.
The
to fully
understand that
all that it
and
that
as unrea-
sonable to underrate
ent, as
it
it
would be
to decide
fruit.
174
ART OF
COJ\^VERSATIOJV:
CHAPTER XXV
OP STUDTINQ LiLNaUAGES.
LEARN
tice
a language
is
to prac-
an art
principles of languages
aflSnities
in their
and
;
history,
known
as
philology
ence.
is
to investigate a sci-
on
Language,"
I
all
commend a
In con-
An
Clark,
(New
STUDYIJVG LAJVGUAGES.
I75
"The
Philoso-
Language," by
Grammar "
With
which
it
may
much
to cultivate
pursuit of
knowledge.
I would advise the reader to master his
own
to
lan-
read
ease,
in doing
which he
much
poldt,)
but
may
Grammar
To
its
dialects,
176
-^RT
OF CO.rVERSATIOJV.
to
dcA^
own
noble language in
its earlier
forms,
is
one of the
With
may
be also studied
of Anglo-Saxon Orthography;
of Anglo-Saxon Root-Words;
and of Anglo-Saxon
(New
York, 1854.)
Spanish, Italian and German,
To study French,
in separate
Having mastered,
New
York, or of any of
its
agencies, a
French
New
Testament.
vides the
modern languages,
also
according to
my experience
its
extremely cour-
agents, in obtaining
STrDYIA'G LAJVGUAGES.
quent reference to the grammar, the student
translate
ary.
177
may
many
diction-
The
will be
found a mat-
of no difficulty.
He
cises,
which he may do
to advantage
dorff's
commend
New
Guide
to
Modern Conversation
1863,
''
d' Avranches^^^
Mme.
^^
C. R.
Lam^
Fleury's
Histoire
de France^-
la Neigej'^
by
emy,
(Philadelphia,
F.
Leypoldt.
New
York,
Carle ton.)
the other
readily
acquired
the
''
Ollendorff"
is
very
diffi*
character,
according to
the method of
Ahn, by
Fiillborn,
(Philadelphia^
B. Lippincott.)
178
ART OF
COJSrrEBSATIOJSr.
lest the
study of languages
step in learning
and that
to a
man
or
woman who
to deserve a
to be intelligent,
and
in
then, since
best to take
first,)
For
this purpose,
I suggest the
Very
it
commended
this
method, and
As
said, literal
their meaning.
remembered than
in
The
STUDYIJVa LAJSTGUAGES
grammar siouTd however be
if it
IJS
be frequently written.
Bible
is
invaluable.
met with an
asser-
and
that,
exceptions, no progress of
studies
is
any
m the respective
bered,
them
Let
it
be
remem-
guage
180
JRT OF
C0J>rVERSJlTJOJV
CHAPTEE XXVL
OF CUBIOUS AND MISCELLANEOUS KNOWLEDGE.
HERE
no
are certain
little
topics of
it
is,
(/reat value,
on which
imparting
information
on
them
il-
When
a lady, you
may
of Finger
Lithiaka
or
Gems and
istry,
Chem-
MISCELLAJVEOUS KJVOWLEDGE,
181
York, Harpers, 1859,) or from " Jewelry and Precious Stones," (Philadelphia*, J. Pennington, 1856.)
At
may
Mary att's
"Collections
Pallatt,
(London,
1849.)
Perfumes
may
"Art
of
Odors of Flowers," or
in
1853.)
At
with
many amusing
number of curious
facts,
which
may
be gleaned from
Pettigrew'a
"Medical
''
Superstitions,"
are discussed.
182
'^RT OF COJVVERSATIOA",
appropriate
storj.
"
Arthur on
of
Family Family
Names,"
and
Lower's
" Dictionary
Names," are
excellent works
when
mon
of
subject
is
discussed
much
interesting to smokers.
Among
other works
Letters,"
(Philadelphia, J. B. Lippincott,)
for social entertainment,
an amusing work
Lexicon,"
in
Costume
England,"
by F.
"
W.
Fairholt, (1846,)
New
Curiosities of Literature,"
by George Soane,
Lazy,"
(New
1849,)
"The
Rose;
History,
Poetry, &c.," by S. B.
Parsons,
(New
York,
1847,)
MISCELLAJ^EOUS KJ^OWLEDGE,
\%Z
E. Tilton
&
Co.,
1863,)
''
of topics,
''The
Sea,"
{La Mer) by
Hoyle's
*'
Michelet,
(New York,
''
Carleton,)
Games," and
Literature,"
by D. W. Fiske.
(New York,
Carleton.)
some
mere erudition
sive,
is
when advanced
184
ART OF COJSrVERSATWM.
CHAPTER XXVn.
OF SCIENCE.
HAVE,
traced
in
the
preceding chapters,
of
the
studies
geography,
from their
first
principles,
reader
how
it is
possible to pursue
them
to
their
higher
developments,
where
they
may
knowledge
that
leads
to
Science,
which
far
I do not
recommend any
h'"anches,
sciJEj>rvE.
135
unless they be
science.
of moral aD'J
qualified
mental
philosophy,
The
merely
literary
mind
is
not adapted to
the present age, and its habits of thought lack preciseness and strength.
The area
that
it is
of scientific study
is
however
so vast
possibility of
mastering even
its
principles without
from Bacon
to
Comte.
If he has mastered
to
Of Acquiring General
Knowledge," and of " Moral and Mental Philosophy," he will readily appreciate the outlines of the
great growth of practical and positive philosophy.
If,
&
A simple and
is
Power," by
186
delphia, G.
-^I^T
OF
COJSrVERSATIOJ\r.
W.
now be found
mind
for
physical
which
it is
NATURAL PHIJiOSOPHT.
Algebra, and Geometry, and Plane and Spherical
all
who
find
on
Prom
this
great measure, possible or impossible, according to the power of application possessed by the student.
in
may
be com-
mended
pcience.
Bouvier's
''
delphia, G.
W.
commended by the
SCIEJVCE.
187
W. H.
C. Bartlett, Bou-
not beyond the grasp of a practical mind, even withIt is needless to say, that to every
all
and
factories.
In connection with
this subject,
practical
and
if it
the object
till
The
knowever
that no
man
acquired
it
without finding
it
a capital capable of
sin-
and
to
commend
I
each subject.
this
am
now
vances
188
^RT OF
COJSrVERSATIOJSr.
is
wave on the
beach of learning.
that if he has for
can
and
if
after
by such experiments as
his
own natu-
may
suggest,) to ascertain
by inquiry,
mechanism.
GEOLOGY.
Among
Ma-
of Geology,"
(New York,
T.
Bliss
St.
&
Co., 1863,)
an
excellent work
sciEJ\rcE.
for private students.
189
To
these
may
be added Sir
Geological
man from
Evidences," (Philadelphia, G.
W.
Childs.)
One
or
the
study in
its
higher branches.
And
while
who has
resolve that
line shall
its
general out-
by
his
scheme of gen-
eral knowledge.
to Science,
what archior in
tecture
art
;
may
be assumed to be in
aesthetics,
is
the history of
mankind.
CHEMISTRY.
Notwithstanding the rapid advances constantly
being made in chemistry, the following works
still
may
science.
translated
by
C.
H.
Pierce,
(Philadelphia, E. II
Butler,)
Silliman's
Chemistry," Fos-
190
ter's
''
-^RT
OF
COJ\rVERSATIOJ>r,
First
Book of Che-
Lehmann's
''
Class
To
these
may
Chemistry
is
Fortunately, there
to such
may
not be obtained
by every
It
is
one who
concerned
there
it
is
not
may
SCIEjYCE.
nitely ductile
painting.
191
to
NATURAL HISTORY
The study
of
regarded as optional to
at being
Fortunately,
it
is
extremely
entertaining,
affording
an
several
other
branches of science.
Among
History,"
tory,''
and. the
John D. Godman.
useful information
reading,
much
may
of the
*'
"Annals of
York."
the Lyce-
um
of Natural History of
New
Godman' s
inci-
192
-ART
OF
COA''VERSATIOJ\r.
BOTANY.
The
utility of a
knowledge of Botany
it
is
so gen-
nearly
all
colleges,
Those who
of
it,
may
Among
the
many works on
the
Letters on Botany,"
the
to
Study of Botany,"
"The
gamia," by H. Coultas,
(Philadelphia,
1853 and
(a
1855,)
work
ny," Gray's " Manual of the Botany of the Northern United States," Hovey's "Fruits of America,"
Wood's
*
"Class
Book
of
Botany," Torrey's
ern
and
Fruit
Trees of America."
SCIEJ^CE.
193
PHYSIOLOGY.
It has
know
own
bodies
is
as essential as
It is
or learning whatever.
is
on
displayed, as this.
The
which health
if
is
based
and
it
is
the
many
invalid
ing,
we should soon
see
un-
Comstock's
*'
Coming's
Class
of
Book of Physiology,"
Anatomy."
Book
Among
Human Anatomy,
''
man
olgy,
Physiology," J.
W. Draper's
Human
Physi-
work of
194
-^^T OF COJVVERSATIOJS'.
Magendie's "
J.
decided merit.
translated
Human
Physiology/
" Treatise on
by
Eevere, Lowget's
"Illustrated
System of
Human
Anatomy,''
Reese's "Analysis of Physiology," Sdquard's " Experimental Researches," Carpenter's " Principles of
Human
eral
and hor
Off-
by P.
S.
Townsend.
If
what I believe
who have
care-
physiology,
may
at least gather
much
valuable infor-
mation from
all that
is
entire proficiency
impossible.
JURISPRUDENCE.
I recommend every one who
is
resolved to become
our
own
is
founded.
With
8CIEJVCE,
would do well
to peruse very carefully
;
195
'
'
Blackstone^a
Commentaries
"
to
become
familiar
with
legal
some
attention, the
work on the
practice
of law which
state, the
may
name
of which work
may
be obtained from
any lawyer of
to
his acquaintance.
Should he desire
go further, he
may
Law
of Con-
Ge*o. T. Curtis,
a merit due
to
country,
among
the
many
people
who
matters.
196
'
^I^T
OF COJVVERSATIOJ^,
on the Criminal
Law
of the
[Iritctl
expect to
tested the
pay attention
to this remark.
We
continually read
trates or juries,
ed had
tiiose
is
capable of extract-
APPENDIX
trULGARISMS
IJ\
C0JVVERSAT10J)r.
|.99
CHAPTER XXVra.
or TULGAXUMg IS OONTEBSATIOK.
ARE
should be
taken to avoid
writing, as
These
may
Dic-
tionary of Americanisms," to
''
Live
fre-
(New York,
Garrett
&
Co.,
1856,) or
to
the
article
on "Americanisms"
in
"Appleton'a
Cyclopaedia."
200
-^-R^
OF COJ^VERSATIOJ>r.
strictly
Among
the
words or expressiona to be
am
princi-
profit.
About
According
to
Above
my
my
power.
{to)
instead of to admit
Across
lots,
Aggravate,
All to pieces
smash, Entirely
destroyed.
Along.
To
Among
Among^
Aint, instead of
not.
Anything
else.
vulgar affirmative.
VULGARISMS
JLny
IJV
COJSTVERSATIOX,
201
it.
Approbate.
As
As
We
the North.
At
that.
And
as well.
as,
the avails
of their
own
industry.
difficult,
or very.
become
obsolete.
Jhesus answeride
and seide
ble, cited
to him,
'
Thou
"
Wicliflf's
Bi-
by Bartlett.
equivalent
expressions
are
to
back
202
-^RT
OF
coj\rvERSATioj)r.
Advancing and
retreating.
term
luggage.''^
I confess I do
not see
why
it is
heavy
Beat out
as beautiful butter.
Obsolete theological
boast.
Blow out
,
at, instead
of to abuse.
deter, to put
To
down, or
repel.
VULGARISMS
lA"
COJ^VERSATIOJV.
203
or resolved.
I'm
bound
to go.
Brown
{to do up).
To do anything
to perfection.
Bubf bubhy.
From
the
German
Biibe.
or capital.
Burned
uj),
name of
'He went by
Bartlett.
I feel bad.
Bad,
instead of
ill
as,
Done
bad.
Back
02it,
make
smaller.
not.
In
this
204
County.
-^^T
OF COJ\rVERSATIOJV
we shculd
but dexterous,
Cloud upj
{to) instead of to
grow cloudy.
instead of as well
Common.
as usual.
As
well as
common,
*'
This
been
many
others,
by Webster."
Bartlett's
Die-
tionary of Americanisms.
Considerable, instead of much, or considerably.
Crowd,
instead of company.
mar-
Cut round,
display.
{to) instead of to
VULGARISMS
Come^
JJV
COJSTVERSATIO^N;
20ri
Cut under
corporal, belcnging
We
punishment, and,
God
is
an incorporeal being.
Deed,
{^to)
instead of to transfer
by
deed.
Dessert.
This word
is
other delicacies brought on the table after the puddings and pies, but not to the puddings and pies
themselves.
as.
This word
is
Dissipate
{to).
To
Do
tell !
instead of really
or indeed
Done, instead of
did.
DorCt
is
a contraction
do
not.
206
-ART
OF COJ^VERSATIOJSr,
Doion upon.
DoxDn
cellar
J
Used
to express
enmitj or
dislike.
instead of
down in the
cellar.
Dragged
by
uneducated people
for the
phasis to an expression."
Bartlett.
man."
at ? instead of
?
Drinking.
Never say
'^
he's a drinking
Driving
at.
What
are
you driving
Dumpj
instead of unload.
Egg
Elect
in favor of
as,
travellers
will elect to
as,
elegant pies.
Emptyings^
to approve, or confirm.
in.
Erperience.
and their
instead
result.
Experience religion,
verted.
{to,)
of to be con-
VULGARISMS
Expect, {to)
is
IJV
COJ^VERSATIOJ\r.
207
of future events.
believe, or
know.
fell
tree.
Fancy.
jective
This word
to
is
an ad-
signify ornamental,
stylish,
women.
Vulgarly used as a verb.
Fellowship
{to).
Female.
female sex.
female,
is
To speak
of a
woman simply
as a
ridiculous.
to halt suddenly.
to begin.
when one
says,
cent."
One may
a residence at
;
New York
fix
fixed opinions
you may
fix
preacher
may
a fixed body.
208
fact.
-f^RT^
OF COJ^VERSATIOJV.
phrase, according to
fail,
or to perform imper-
Flunk, instead of to
fail,
to retreat
as, to
flunk out.
Fl^.
To
fly
around, instead of to
stir about,
or be
active.
as, I'd
Fore handed,
Foreigner.
"Virginians
Americana
foreigners?"^
Eartlett.
instead of to pay.
flood,
Fork
oner
or up,
Found,
instead of fined.
Freshet, instead of
but
is
now
VULGARISMS
Funk,
Funkf
IJV COJSTVERSATIOJST.
209
alarm.
Garrison, instead of
fort.
Gather, instead of
to take up.
One may
gather
as,
To get religion,
So
vulgar.
ou*.
and
Given name,
Go
by,
A Iott
Southern expression.
Go for, Go it.
to
or
go in for,
As, to go
it
it blind,
go
it
with a looseness,
go
figure, or the
whole figure.
Go Go
off,
perience.
Go
as
the going
is
bad
bad going.
210
-^RT
OF COJSrVERSATIOX,
who
is lost.
of.
Gone
Good.
in,
As, what
is
gone
with him ?
An
he reads good
is
it
Very
vulgar indeed
no
good.''
Gouge, instead of
to
government.
Grand,
as, it ia
a grand day.
to vouchsafe; as,
grant to
Grass widow.
it
Vulgar
in
any
sense.
In England
a
child.
American
editors,
ladies
its
real meaning.
he
is
a great Christian
big, instead of
she
is
Great
very large.
green Fresh.
man.
VULGARISMS
IJV
COJVVERSATIOJ^.
211
Guess
{to)
means
to conjecturej
and not
It
to believe,
was once
obselete.
Had
have.
this.
known
Had not
Hand,
ought
as,
you are a
Hand running,
rectly.
instead of consecutively.
carefully, steadily, or cor-
Handsomely, instead of
Hang.
To
Hang fire, instead of to delay, Hang around, instead of loiter Hang out, instead of dwell.
Happen
in, {to) instead of to
or to be impeded.
about.
happen
tc Cfll in.
Hard
case.
is
Used
one who
212
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV,
nm, hard upj
instead of hard
Hard
Haze,
pushed^ hard
pressed.
Hide, instead of to
beat.
High falutin,
Hire,
house.
is
rented, while
a vehicle
hired."
Bartlett.
Hold
Hook,
instead of on his
;
own
account.
corruption of iota
.
as,
I don't care a
Hopping mad,
Horn
(in a).
Expressing dissent.
spirits.
It is also
Old
boss.
VULGARISMS
IJ\r
C OUTERS ATlOJf,
218
How?
*
instead of what ? or
accents in
tlie
Do put your
proper spot
? for
Don't
let
me
beg you
what ?
**
0.
instead of
?
W. Holmes.
How
come ?
how
did
it
happen?
Human,
Hung.
instead of
human
heing.
is
Very
low.
Rev. a. C. Geikib.
Hunk,
Hush
up,
to be
silent.
lUy.
silly amplification
of
ill
as,
I have been
illy entreated.
as, to
in town.
Independent fortune.
become independent of a
Institution.
A word
214
'ART
OF
coj\rvERSATioj\r.
Jag,
Used
to express a parcel,
or load
is
also a
;
on a moral jag
fashionable
class
of
Jump (Jrom
J
Keel
Keep^ instead of
Keep a
stiff
upper
instead of to keep
up
one's
Keep company,
love.
{to)
instead of to court, or
make
Kerslap.
Used
Kick up a row,
turbance.
Kind
of, instead
of in a manner, or as
it
were.
twist.
Also
VULGARISMS
Knock, instead of
knocks me.
IJV
COJSTVERSATWJV',
or overwhelm
as
21b
that
|,stonish
Knock
LaiTup, instead of
beat.
Law,
as,
he
laid
down, instead cf
he lay down
Lai/.
to sleep;
or,
Terms of a bargain,
pation or
employment of any
one.
;
a lengthy oration.
of to let alone
;
Let
as, let
me
be
to mention, to disclose.
rip,
went,
travel,
circulate,
agitate^
relief.
is
personages,
In England
word
is
restricted to
morning receptions."
of
Appleton's
French
Cyclopcedia.
As
the
word
is
origin,
from levir, to
rise,
and was at
first
216
ART OF
COJSrVERSATIOJSr,
who attended
will
be seen
to
an
evenmg
J
very absurd.
or exertion.
fast.
Licks instead of
^
efforts, strokes,
of more willingly,
Also, im-
Like, instead of
as,
or as
if,
or as though.
expression.
A very
alit.
common
Like I
to
ways
do.
He
promising, or able.
Also used
to signify beauty.
Limb.
the horn.
sequently to a vagabond.
instead of to settle
in.
A perfect looseness.
^'
like.
VULGARISMS
83,1(1
^JV COJVVERSATIOJV,
217
a lad J.
"
You
child or husband,"
who
was present.
hummocks^
"
low word."
Pickering.
Mail^ instead of which the
post.
is
Make a raise, {to) instead of to obtain. Make tracks, instead of to go or to run. Marm, or Ma'am, instead of Mamma, or
mother.
My
Ma'am
says so.
Mate, or match.
gloves, for fellow.
Used
in speaking of
shoes or
Mean,
instead of means.
Mean^
Middling
Midst.
is,
intei^est, instead
There
expres-
properly, no such
is
noun
as midst.
The
i3
sion
become
vulgar.
218
-^RT OF COJSrVERSATIOJT.
;
as,
mighty
nice.
Mind^
remember. Abo,
Missing.
Mistake.
Mixed
superlative terminations.
"
A more
full
vocabu-
lary."
See
the preface to
Worcester's Dio
cards.
tionary^ 1856.
More fond of
MovCj
dence.
Much.
Used
in praise
or dispraise.
I d
is
not
much
Muss,
of a man.
From
" r .ongrel,^
instead of a quarrel.
{to) instead of to disarrange, to disorder.
Muss,
a.
"
"
Nary
Narrate.
Used by good
Noi^ate
is
excellence.
Nigh
unto, u^
m,
instead of nearly'^
o^lmost.
VULGARISMS
IJV COJ^VERSATIOJST.
219
Nimshi, instead of a
foolish fellow.
Nip and
No
not.
Some
as,
tives;
I wont no-how;
aint,
neither;
no-account
A vulgar
affirmation.
It aint noth-
else.
trifles.
Nub, instead of
point, or significance.
Obliged
to be, instead of
must
be.
Odd
Of.
stick, or
eccentric person
feel,
Many
it.
to taste,
as, to
smell
of
To
fly
off"
into a
passion.
To go
handle^
instead of to die.
Offish^ instead of distant.
220
-^^"^
OF CO A" VERSA no
instead of father.
,
He
it,
lives
on a
street, instead of in
a street
passage on a steamboat.
On
9^^
it,
or be-
lieving in
handj instead of
at hand, present.
Ojice
and again^
J
instead of occasionally.
On
Oncet, (pronounced
for once
wunst^ and
twicet, or twisty
and twice.
A
to.
Saxon form.
On
Ought.
to,
Wrongly used
in hadn't ought,
had ought
don't ought.
aa,
His house
is
VULGARISMS
IJV
CO.YVERSATIOJST,
221
may
be patented.
Peaked
Peg
A common affectation
Pending the
session.
Pesky
Pile^ instead of
money amassed,
or fortune.
Plaguy, plaguy
or very much.
Plank, instead of
to lay, or
put down.
Play
Played
Plum,
plum
He
looked
me
Poke fun,
Pokerish, instead of
Poky, instead of
Pond.
''
stupid.
Used
in
America
to signify a
body of wa-
either natural or
banks.
plies
confined
by an
artificial
bank." Appleton's
Cyclopcedia.
22
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJS,
Pony
Posted
of fully informed.
CI
Pray erfIllness
Prayerlessness.
lect of prayer,
A word of
Primp
up.
Dressed up stylishly.
English writers generally use the word
Profanity.
profaneness.
who
is
As
title,
the word
is
an university or
as,
proper frightened.
is
Proud,
instead of glad.
He
proud to know.
Sir,
you do me proud.
Pucker
{in a).
it,
Fright, agitation.
instead of to walk fast, or run.
instead of to remain in order.
off.
Stay put,
To decamp.
VULGARISMS
Pvi
the licks in.
Ijy
COJVVERSATIO.Y,
223
To
exert oneself.
Put
rail.
{to^ instead of to
make
Rake down.
To
reduce, to mortify.
to think or imagine.
Reckon, instead of
Rehash, instead of
repetition.
Remind,
instead of remember.
Reropen.
rectness.
To open
again.
A word of
doubtful cor-
Resurrect, instead of
to
reanimate.
amusinf]^.
In England
word
is
restricted
Rights
{to), right
aioay, right
off,
instead of
di-
rectly, or at once.
224
-^RT OF COJSrVERSATIO.W,
large, or great.
To make angry.
Provincial in England.
Rope
in,
Rounds.
is
called
an Americanism in England.
Rowdy,
Row
up,
rebuke.
instead of to quiz.
Run Run
personal appearance.
to the
ground, instead of
to carry to excess.
Rush,
River,
English say
'*
''
Ameri-
cans say,
roots.
make
sure, or to kill.
Saw
To run
a saw on
him
Scallawag, instead of
vile fellow, or
scamp.
VULGARISMS
Scare
tip,
IJV
COJYVERSATIOJV.
225
instead of to find.
Scooped him
Of
doubtful propriety
to ridicule.
as,
a set man.
or to obstruct, or to stop.
He
settled in the
Shake a
stick at.
A vulgar comparative.
fop.
1
Shanghai, instead of
226
-^^2^
OF COJVVERSATIOJV
Shimmy
instead of chemise.
^hin round.
S/ii?idi/,
To
flj about.
Shi?ie.
Show, display.
She cut a
shine.
Also, tc
succeed with.
y
He
shines
up
to her.
/
^ Shingle instead of
sign.
Shinplaster,
Shote.
small bank-note.
Shyster.
word of
to use.
filthy
Ger-
man
Sick.
origin,
Sickness
common Ameri-
ill.
A great many,
a deal.
to escape, or to
depart
Skimped^
instead of scanty.
Slantendictdar.
Aslant.
fine.
Slop*.
Smart.
In America, smart
used as signifying
it
quick, or shrewd.
In England,
meaning of showy.
VULGARISMS
Smart chance^
it,
IJS"
COJSTVERSATIOJST.
22T
Like
we have a smart
Smouch,
land
is
A Jew,
in
Eng-
Snake
{to).
To crawl
like a snake.
To cunningly
finical,
or conceited.
,
Prof.
who has
ac-
Bartlett.
final
argument, or blow.
Sock.
Sock down.
Some.
Of some
account, famous.
Of
the same
application,
some pumpkins.
Sooner, very soon, instead
Sozzle.
To immerse.
the goose.
horses.
To move
whi^e dipping.
Sound on
True, staunch.
Span of
pair,
An
Americanism applied
to
"The word
to
hcrned cattle."
{to).
Bartlett.
Spark
Spat.
To
court.
slap, a quarrel.
228
-^^^ OF COJKTERSATIOJV.
Specie
is
hard mDncy.
interval.
turn of work.
A time,
an
iSpit curl.
Split.
A division,
To inform
on.
Splurge.
dash.
A blustering demonstration,
A
Mud,
silly fellow.
a swagger, a
Spoopsy
Sposh.
Spread oneself
Spread
eagle.
To make
great
efforts.
It is rapidly
Spree
{to).
To
severe initiation.
The
term
is
" Vegetable.''
Spry.
Lively, active.
Provincial in England.
Spunk.
Spirit, vivacity.
To
wriggle.
Squush.
Stag.
stag party.
Stamping ground.
of resort.
A favorite
VULGARISMS
Stand.
J,V
COJ^VERSATIOJW
229
The
Stand
treat {to).
To pay
for a treat.
Stave along.
Steamboat.
Steepj or
tall.
To hurry onward.
A dashing,
go-ahead character.
Great, magnificent.
Stick
{to).
To impose upon,
to render liable.
Straight out.
Downright, candid.
*
Strapped.
Wanting money.
^
Streak
it {to).
To run
fast.
Continuously.
row, a number.
Pattern, sort.
Stuffy.
Angry,
{to).
obstinate, sulky.
Stump
Suck
Sucker.
To
challenge.
To confound
One who
in {to).
Swap,
Systemize,
instead of
to
systematize.
"
Worcest Eii
230
-^-^2^
OF COJVVERSATIOJSr,
To
it is
Take
'
to
J
do
(to).
take to task.
not.
To
T^prove.
Taint instead of
Take
Take
To
recede.
the rag
{to).
Take on
of To
{to).
To
surpass.
grieve,
mourn.
Tavern.
lodging,
noft
provided at a tavern.
What
it ?
Team.
A person of
.,
energy.
He
is
a whole team.
Teetotally
Entirely, totally.
report.
Tell^ instead of
tell for
A compliment
as, I've
you.
Tell on {to).
To
Many
persons say, he
The
correct
mode of
There.
Used
am
as,
I'm
there.
This
Those
sort
sort of things.
VULGARISMS
Throw
Tie
in.
IJST
COJVVERSATIOJS'
231
To
contribute.
Tight place
squeeze, instead of a
in,
diflSculty.
To, instead of
or at.
He
is to
home.
{to).
To
fulfil obligations.
Top
notch.
The
highest point.
Touch.
No
touch to
it.
Not
to be
compared to
it.
Trainers, trabiing.
for exercise.
The
militia
when assembled
Try
Tuckered
Tuck,
Fatigued, exhausted.
for took.
Transient.
A transient boarder.
Not used
in this
sense in England.
Transpire, instead of
to happen, or to be done.
Uncommon,
instead of
uncommonly.
Up
to the hub.
To
the extreme.
[the).
Upper ten-thousand
Use up,
282
Vamose.
-^RT
OF COJVVERSATIOJV.
go.
(Let us
off.
Spanish.)
Used
instead of
depart, be
To vamose
the ranch.
Vum, (/)
Wake up
Walk Walk
the
wrong passenger
{to).
To make
mistake as to an individual.
chalk.
into
To walk
{to).
straight.
To
of.
To
Walking papers.
Orders to leave
beat.
;
dismissal.
Wallop
{to).
To
Wamble
Wa^nt,
cropt.
Depressed
humiliated.
not.
instead of
to
was
not,
and were
Want
Ways,
know
Do
tell 7
Very vulgar
inter-
jections.
Way,
distance, space.
Ways.
is
No
do
tivo
ways about
it,
just so.
to
Well
off.
We?it.
You
Whap
over {to).
To knock
over.
largo.
vt
Whapper, whopper.
Anything uncommonly
for a
is
What for
a.
What
man
is
that ?
instead
that ?
VULGARISMS
IVhichj instead
of'
JJV
COJVVERSATIOJT.
233
Also very
or until.
Whittled down
to.
Reduced.
all,
Whole heap.
Whole
soided.
Many,
several,
''
much.
Noble minded.
A phrase in great
Bart-
LETT.
Whole team.
possession of
A general compliment,
many
To
powers.
instead of on the alert.
implying tho
Wide awake,
Wilt down
{to).
depress.
;
Wind up,
Wire
strip
instead of to silence
to settle.
edge.
in the form of a
It
is
when sharpening
incorrectly
Wool
draw
the).
To impose
on.
Worryment.
Trouble, anxiety.
of,
Worst kind
manner.
Wi^ath.
Like
all
Yank.
A jerk.
To yank,
to bring forth
pull out
manipulate.
234
-^RT
OF
C0JVVERSAT10J>r,
to
Yellow cover.
Applied
first
litera-
ture; so called
works.
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