The London Tourism Guide

We're slightly wary when it comes to man-built tourist attractions in London. After all, there are so many real sights that we prefer to concentrate on those. However, 'The London Dungeon' 'The London Eye' and 'Madame Tussaud's' are big crowd pullers. A lot of money is spent on promoting tourism in London and it's difficult to find an objective source of information (which is what this website is about). Don't rely on leaflets or brochures produced by the attractions for anything but opening times, admission prices etc. and do always get a second opinion. It's worth booking or getting tickets in advance for any major attractions including The Tower of London - which will save you a lot of time - sometimes the queues can take hours - you can usually book online by following the links below. Tourist offices sell tickets - for example for the London Dungeon which enable you to avoid the 400 metre line of frustrated teenager. Tourist offices Tube stations sell combined tickets for travel and admission which can be good value and avoid queues, at least those at the attraction. Oyster Cards often have good offers so worth periodically checking their site, or asking at a ticket office if you can find an open one without a long queue. We include some museums here, those that have 'events' or 'experiences' - reconstructions rather than real artifacts, or have artifacts presented in new and original ways. Most of the places featured on this page are seen from an adult perspective, visit our Kids page as well if you're bringing the family.

ATTRACTION FATIGUE: London, as we tell people so often, is not a theme park, like Disneyland, or a film set,
and a holiday that consists of rushing round to tick attractions off a list will prove disappointing. Especially if that list has been compiled from commercial information, hearsay and viral marketing. If you really think you can see four or five attractions a day, rushing from castle to waxworks to theme event you will soon find out that, well, you can't. You may start off with vim and vigour, but the process will take over and the attractions blur into one as your wallet bleeds. This particularly applies to multi-admission deals (see below), whether with transport included or not. You'll see four on day one, three on day two and if you can bear it, maybe only one on day three. Day four you'll spend in bed with a headache. And you'll not have saved a penny. Planning is a good idea in London because it's huge, but try to get some variety in your diet. A walk, a church, a museum and an 'attraction' with some hanging-out works better. And have a variety of options...you never know what you'll feel like after lunch or what the weather will be doing! We've a whole page on grouping things to do, on the basis of geogriphical location. Really research whether what you thought would be a good visit when you were 5000 miles away, is as good when you're here. A lot, and we mean a lot, of money is spent above and below the line promoting attractions in general and particular. Many brands are not really worth it... apart from the Queens Galleries, we find Buckingham Palace a bore. But the brand name is so well known, and no-one cares about what a little boy thinks of the Emporer's wardrobe. The basic rule is: if there's one like it in your hometown (or nearby city) then don't bother. If you live in the Carolinas then you have great Victorian and Georgian architecture, not bombed and over-developed.

If you live in a capital city, chances are you have a waxwork horror museum. Try to seek out what you can't get on a supermarket shelf... after all you spent a lot of money getting here and hotels are expensive... If you really think you can get around a lot of stuff (and we mean a lot) in a day you could (just) save money with a Londonpass. At 44 for a day per adult you'd only be better off if you took in 4 major attractions - which is going some, and you'd have to be capable of supersonic flight to manage to see the good ones. The only way we see this as saving you money is if you visit The Tower, Shakespeare's Globe, HMS Belfast AND the Britain at War Experience in a day, as they are quite close by. Start as they open in the morning. It's calculated to look more attractive than it possibly can be. Some attractions, such as the Chislehurst caves (not a major tourist attraction by any measure) or Windsor Castle (reasonable, but Hampton Court is better) are a day trip in themselves and you'd actually lose money trying to see them on a Londonpass. The card gets better value once you increase the days (and the price) but you'd really have to want to visit a LOT of what's on their rather restrictive list. Without Tussaud's or the Dungeons up there we can't see how this is anything more than a waste of money. At present we can't recommend it - and we've been offered a lucrative commission deal to endorse/sell it through our site. Remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch, especially for passing trade.

Obiectives Toursits
The London Dungeon: In the bowels of London Bridge Station this famous waxwork museum of torture
focuses on the dark side of life. As such it can paint an artificially grim portrait of London: Jack the Ripper is small fry by today's serial killer standards. Stocks, executions, torture machines, rats, plague are the main crowd attractions. The queues stretch right up Duke St Hill for at least 100 metres, unemployed actors in period' costume and ghoulish make-up keep them amused while they're waiting. Life in London was undoubtedly hard for the poor or those who for some reason were ostracised by society, worth remembering as you go round, for example, Hampton Court which paints an equally biased view of a rosy Olde England. Their younger, Paris branch for some reason claims it's the original - we suspect branches will be spring up everywhere, even in your suburb. There a restaurant inside and sometimes nightclubs are held there. Their very atmospheric website gives you a flavour of the place.

Madame Tussaud's: Most large towns have waxworks museums, and

this is just another one, albeit much bigger. It's a big crowd puller - the queues can be horrendous - but you can pre-book a ticket online and walk jauntily by the unfortunates if you wish. Has worked hard over the years to achieve a semi-official status, like the Guinness book of records. Have your photo taken next to Charles , the artist formally known as Prince (if the crowd will part for long enough), or the artist formerly known as Prince (or whatever he calls himself today). Also on the site is the planetarium, which is much like all other planetaria, only more so. We

think there are much better things to do in London, especially considering the steep admission price thousands disagree. It's on the Marylebone Road, 100 yards from Baker Street tube, and conveniently close to Sherlock Holmes' fictional residence which maintains a small 'Museum' - visit only if you're a diehard fan. Recently tourists have taken to having their photo taken by the horrible statue of Sherlock Holmes outside Baker Street tube. Please don't - you'll cringe later on. If you get that stuffy feeling after Tussaud's walk 400 yards north to Regent's Park - and beyond to Primrose Hill for a great view over London. On the weekend it's an easy walk right through to Camden Market.

London Eye: A huge modern version of Vienna's Prater ferris wheel which dominates the river skyline
opposite Parliament. Queues were horrendous, but the new ticketing system has improved things markedly. The capsules can get very hot in sunny weather - you can book a whole capsule if you wish (some famous uses include advertising cars, having sex, cocktail parties). Take a telephoto lens if you want to get good photos from the top - London is a big, big city. Our favourite natural vantage points are at the top of Greenwich Hill - near the Ranger's House or the Observatory there which are much more atmospheric as the sun slices, Bunuel fashion, down the city skyscrapers. Another good vantage point is Parliament Hill, on Hampstead Heath or Primrose Hill in Regent's Park. As far as the wheel goes make sure there's good weather before you go up as it's a really depressing ride when it's rainy and overcast. Nb Usually closed for annual maintenance at the end of January/beginning of February, but this can shift so check their website.

London Aquarium: If it's just fish you're after then the aquarium
in County Hall (vide infra) has great atmosphere and is quite beautiful, with its Easter Island statues immersed in a multi-story pool. Well designed and well put together, it's not very 'London' but more a refuge from the hustle and bustle of the city - that is if there are no school parties around.

THE 02: The Milennium Dome, resurrected as a music venue, and exhibition centre, owned by a
telecommunications company. The whole area is very like Paris' Parc de la Villette and equally far out. Decent Exhibition space, if a bit large and intrusive. However the lobby and common areas are truly repulsive, the effect is redolent of the the worst of American shopping malls - hard sell of crap products. The main auditorium is like most and has a god sound system, when working properly, but the smaller 02 indigo is a great place, a bit

like Paris' Trabendo where you can get closer to bands than you might want to. The Original Dome was set up as a temporary home/away tourist attraction and was the most visited tourist attraction in the UK, but even so, failed to meet its targets, attracting only half the visitors it needed to pay its way. Despite frequent government handouts it went bust several times and sat around empty for years. It's worth stopping at the Jubilee Line tube stations along the route - they took the coveted prize for the best architecture of 2000, which annoyed the Dome considerably. The Independent newspaper puts Westminster station in its list of the 50 best designed buildings in the country. We also like the art-deco St John's Wood tube station. Opposite Southwark Station is The Ring - one of London's last boxing pubs which until very recently maintained a boxing ring and training gym on the first floor. It's on the Cut, a fast-changing strip of restaurants (Tas, Livebait, Tapas bars and Gastropubs) A view of the dome can be had from the Waterfront at Greenwich or the river cruise that takes in the London Flood Barrier will give you good views - but do it on a clear and sunny day... The Chinese restaurant on the ground floor of the nearby Holiday Inn is the best place to eat locally - very very popular with the large local Chinese community. On Sundays be prepared to queue.

Tower Bridge Exhibition: We like Tower

Bridge, it's a real achievement of Victorian engineering, and looks great, especially at night when it's well illuminated. We don't think it's necessary to go inside to appreciate it, though the engines that lift the two drawbridges are a miracle. The bridge is opened on average once a week - it's timetabled and you can find out when in advance which is quite spectacular. If there's a large yacht moored next to HMS Belfast then it's probable that it'll have to go out through the raised bridge soon check at the ticket office or on their website.

St Pauls Built: on the site of a Roman Temple to Diana, this impressive part of the London skyline was raised
by Sir Christopher Wren in 1697, after the previous one had been destroyed in a the Great Fire of London. Wren had submitted plans to demolish and rebuild that dangerous structure only six days before the blaze itself, but the commissioners refused to have the old Norman building pulled down. Even though St Paul's is big, the earlier Norman Cathedral was even bigger and had the tallest church spire ever built - the stone was brought from Caen in France by boat. Wren, however, created the domed masterpiece we see today, which took 35 years, and Wren is buried in the crypt below the dome he built, alongside Lord Nelson. However it's comparatively stark inside, containing few monuments. It became a symbol of British resistance to Nazism during the blitz when it 'miraculously' suffered no war damage, due to a team of vigilantes who defused every bomb that fell in the precincts at great personal risk. This probably explains why it's a bit militaristic inside - more like the

kind of glorification the Imperial War Museum is moving away from. Worth visiting the dome and whispering gallery. The sad thing is that you have to pay. Linked by an impressive modern bridge (nicknamed 'the wobbly bridge', it closed three hours after opening as users felt seasick, then spent two years being modified..) to the South Bank's Tate Modern, so you can pop across.