The Fairly OddParents

“Totally Spaced Out”
#128

Written By: Jack Thomas First Draft: 6.27.01 Second draft: 7.5.01 Final Draft: 7.10.01

Nickelodeon Animation Studios c 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

2

EXT. - TURNER HOME - DAY TIMMY, walking home from school, reaches his front door. TIMMY Awright! The weekend! No school, no Vicky baby-sitting, just a nice fun weekend with my parents! CUT TO: INT. TIMMY'S PARENTS' BEDROOM - 1/2 SECOND LATER Timmy stands in the doorway while MOM and DAD pack a SUITCASE. There seem to be a lot of BEACH ITEMS getting packed. SWIMSUITS, TOWELS, FINS, etc. TIMMY (immediate) You're leaving?!? MOM AND DAD On a weekend business trip! DAD To Oceanside Resort Springs Beach. Dad pulls out a BROCHURE. DAD They've got golfing, not business, fishing, not business, snorkeling, not business, deep sea not businessing and eight different restaurants! TIMMY Where's the business? DAD Well, they've got a copier... That makes adult beverages! TIMMY You're going for the whole weekend? DAD

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

We're all busted up about it too, Son, but you'll be protected by Vicky!

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A PAINTING OF A BOAT hangs on the wall. On the word "Vicky," the boat sinks. Dads notices the painting.

DAD I hope our fishing boat… I mean BUSINESS MEETING… doesn't do THAT. DISSOLVE TO: INT. HALLWAY – LATER As Timmy walks to his room, Cosmo and Wanda appear. TIMMY Darn it! Vicky's gonna torture me all weekend unless we can figure out a way to get rid of her! Cosmo conjures up a BEAR holding a big KNIFE and FORK and wearing a VICKY BIB. TIMMY Too messy. COSMO Hey! He's wearing a bib! TIMMY Come on guys. Think of something! Something that'll take Vicky a million million miles from here! Cosmo poofs up a TAPE MEASURE. COSMO I'm on it! Cosmo flies out the window and into the sky. They're just standing there… Timmy, Wanda and the bear. Then the bear realizes… IT'S A BEAR! BEAR ROAAAR!!!! As the bear leans in towards the two, we… CUT TO: EXT. - THE DREADED WAR PLANET, YUGOPOTAMIA – SAME TIME

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

The dreaded war planet looks ominous as usual. Cosmo flies into frame, with the measuring tape... COSMO One million nine hundred thousand and one... One million nine hundred thousand and two... CUT TO: INT. MARK CHANG'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME MARK CHANG, warrior prince, sits with his two best buds, JEFF and ERIK, unenthusiastically opening GIFTS as the KING and QUEEN watch. QUEEN JIPJORRULAC Happy birthday, Mark! KING GRIPPULLON. Open it up, Pal! It's from your Mom and me! The present revealed: A TUB OF RADIOACTIVE WASTE. ERIK Radioactive waste?! JEFF That's the most awesome kind of waste there is!! My parents only got me medical waste! MARK Whatever. Jeff hand him a big, HEAVY GIFT. JEFF Open this next! RRRRIP! TAX FORMS? ERIK Tax forms! Those are way hideous! MARK It does not matter how horrifyingly bad these gifts are (holds up VICKY'S PICTURE) Nothing can fill the hole in my heart left by losing my one true love, Vicky of Earth! KING GRIPPULLON.

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The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

Enough! You are next in line to be the evil ruler of this planet! QUEEN JIPJORRULAC Get this Earth girl out of your head and enjoy your birthday!

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King Grippullon and Queen Jipjorrulac storm out as Mark looks longingly at Vicky's photo. CUT TO: OUTSIDE MARK'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME The King and Queen exit, oblivious to the fact that Cosmo is now measuring right to Mark's front door. COSMO One million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine... One million one million! Whew! Cosmo rings the DOORBELL. CUT TO: INT. MARK'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME SFX: Doorbell (sounds like Close Encounters tones). Mark opens the door to find Cosmo in a DELIVERY OUTFIT. COSMO Federation Express. I have a message for Mark Chang, from Vicky of Earth. MARK Awesome! Give it! Or I shall tear out your still beating heart and use it to play badminton! Cosmo produces what looks like a flashlight. It projects a small HOLOGRAPHIC VICKY ala "Star Wars." VICKY Help me, Mark Chang. You're my only hope. I, like, miss you and stuff! Won't you take me away from this planet forever and ever and... MARK Jeff! Erik! ROAD TRIP! DISSOLVE TO: EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

INT. VICKY'S ROOM - Vicky is looking at Timmy's picture and packing a suitcase full of nasty items. VICKY (sweetly, to picture) I know, Timmy! I'm just as excited as you are that I get to watch you for the whole weekend!!

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Vicky tosses a POWER DRILL and a BALL AND CHAIN into the suitcase. VICKY We're going to have so much fun!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - SAME TIME With an idling SPACESHIP in the BG, Mark, Jeff and Erik walk to Vicky's door all packing very cartoony laser pistols. MARK Announce our presence!! Jeff rings the bell. At the sound of the buzzer, all three wheel, point their guns and blast the doorbell. JEFF / ERIK It's an attack! / Get it! As the smoke clears, Vicky opens the door and sees the three CLEARLY ALIEN LIFE FORMS standing in her doorway. VICKY You! I remember you! You're Timmy's geek friend from Europe with the stupid alien costume! MARK "Exactamundo!" She looks at the other two aliens standing with Mark. VICKY What? Is there an idiot convention in town? JEFF Uh… Uh... SHE'S ON TO US! DO SOMETHING! Erik hits a BUTTON on his YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR BELT and Vicky gets sprayed with KNOCK OUT GAS. VICKY

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

(coughs) Is this some sort of French perfume? 'M sleepy... Vicky falls into Mark's arms. JEFF Now what? Dissection?

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MARK No! We shall take her with us! But we must make sure she's not missed by the Earth authorities. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY'S LIVING ROOM – LATER Timmy sits on the SOFA, watching Mom and Dad pack. Wanda is near him as a WANDA VASE. DAD Boogie boards. (off Timmy's glare) I mean business boogie boards. Cosmo reappears as COSMO FLOWERS in the vase. WANDA Where have you been? COSMO Wait for it. SFX: DING DONG! JEFF / ERIK (OS) It's an attack! Get it! We hear the sounds of laser blasts at the door. When Dad finally opens it, he sees Vicky standing there, CLEARLY ASLEEP, held up by Tentacles. Jeff and Mark - standing behind Vicky - use her like a ventriloquist's dummy. They're not very good. MARK (VO) Uh... hey, Earth guy... I just wanted to let you know... I have to go to, uh... your... Uh... Your... DAD ...Europe? The aliens huddle out of sight and whisper furiously. Then...

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

MARK Yeah, that'll work. Later.

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The aliens use Vicky to shut the door. Timmy high fives Cosmo and runs to his Dad. Wanda isn't sure she likes this. TIMMY No baby-sitter means you guys can't go on your "business" trip now!

DAD Well, you'd think that, Son, but when it comes to the safety and welfare of our business trip, we always have a plan B! DISSOLVE TO: INT. - FLAPPY BOB'S LEARNATORIUM - A FEW MINUTES LATER Timmy now stands inside FLAPPY BOB'S, holding Cosmo and Wanda as LUGGAGE. Timmy's parents drive away into the distance. TIMMY Flappy Bob's PeppyHappy Camp Learn-atorium? That's plan B? DAD (CALLING BACK) Hey, Plan C was military school! MOM (CALLING BACK) We love you Timmy! There are SIGNS in goofy lettering. "Sneaking Education Into Kids Since 1997" "Spontaneity Free Zone Ahead." The place is lousy with planned wackiness. Weird GIZMOS, GAMES and flashing LIGHTS everywhere. WANDA Well, it could be worse. Timmy walks over to a BALL PIT. He is about to pick up a BALL, when two overly enthusiastic TEENS - BETTY AND GARY - intercept him. BETTY Whoa there, special guest! You can't just dive head first into the PeppyHappy ball pit! GARY And we're going to explain why... In Song! GARY pulls out a PITCH PIPE and blows a perfect D flat.

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

GARY (SINGING) I'm happy peppy Gary! BETTY (SINGING) I'm peppy Happy Betty! GARY AND BETTY (SINGING) We're peppy happy happy peppy peppy happy hap! BETTY (SINGING) Ask Peppy Happy Gary! GARY (SINGING) That ball pit's kind of scary! BETTY / GARY (SINGING) So before you leap, you must put on these helmet, foam and pads! Yay! Timmy is instantly covered in SAFETY GEAR. TIMMY Am I having fun yet? DISSOLVE TO: EXT. - A SPACE PORT - YUGOPOTAMIA - SAME TIME

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The SPACE SHIP lands. Mark, Jeff and Erik walk down the steps holding the semi-conscious Vicky. MARK Beloved, semi-conscious Vicky! Behold Yugopotamia! Most feared planet in the galaxy! VICKY (Dazed) Can I have a cookie? All three of them gasp. MARK Do you not see why I love her? She is unafraid of one of the most lethal of all poisons found on our planet. She rocks! Now I must fetch her the deadly...cookie!! Mark exits. As he does, Vicky snaps awake. VICKY Hey! What? Where am I??

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

JEFF / ERIK You're...uh...you're, uh... They huddle and whisper furiously. They break the huddle. VICKY Well? Jeff hits his belt and blasts Vicky with a death ray! She's vaporized! ERIK (TO JEFF) Idiot!

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Erik hits a button on his belt. Vicky is re-integrated and back to normal. JEFF Sorry. Jeff hits his button again and sprays Vicky with knock-out gas again. She instantly passes out. VICKY ...I don't wanna be a ballerina... She falls into their arms just as Mark returns, wearing a RADIATION SUIT, holding a big COOKIE in gigantic TONGS. Various YUGOPOTAMIANS mull about behind them. MARK Behold! The chewy-soft goodness of a freshly baked cookie! YUGOPATAMIANS AAAAAAA!!!! Citizens in the space port run screaming in terror. Mark notices the sleeping Vicky. MARK (RE: VICKY) What is wrong with her? JEFF / ERIK Jet lag. / Rabies. INT. FLAPPY BOB'S - SAME TIME Timmy walks away from Betty and Gary, but they keep singing at him, throwing PILLOWS around him as he walks. GARY AND BETTY Safety safety safety! Safety must come first! Anything but safety is the worsty worsty worst!

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

Timmy's pissed. Suddenly, he sees a SMACK-A-MOLE GAME! TIMMY Finally! Something mindless and violent I'm totally excellent at! Timmy starts playing, but is immediately stopped by Gary. GARY Stop! You must learn! TIMMY How to smack?

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BETTY No, silly willy walnut head! About that mole!! And how it feels about being smacked! Gary and Betty happily clap twice. The lights dim, and the entire smack a mole game turns into a TV SET that starts the black and white show-- "The Mole: An Endangered Species." CHET UBETCHA appears, wearing a big, fuzzy MOLE SUIT. CHET UBETCHA I'm Chet UBetcha, narrating... The Mole: Smack Me To Extinction. CLOSE ON CLOCK - as the hands spin. SIX HOURS go by. DISSOLVE TO: AT A TABLE - LATER Timmy - drooling - sits in front of Gary and Betty. Betty hugs a STUFFED MOLE like it's the cutest thing ever. Cosmo and Wanda are on the table as soft, fluffy TEDDY BEARS.. BETTY And that's why smacking is bad... and cuddling is good! Now -- Who wants cookies and ice cream? TIMMY I do! GARY You don't! They're not approved food groups! Who wants soy cubes? Betty runs up behind Timmy and raises his hand for him. BETTY I do!

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

TIMMY Well... I want to go home! GARY You can't! You don't have proper adult supervision, and you're supposed to stay here until your baby-sitter returns from Europe! TIMMY But she's never coming back! BETTY / GARY Yay! We're going to be friends forever! TIMMY (whispered to Cosmo and Wanda) Guys... I never thought I'd say this, but I wish Vicky were back. They wave their wands and the fart noise comes out. TIMMY Oh, man! Lemme guess...That alien kid loves Vicky and… WANDA Our magic can't goof up true love. COSMO Exactamundo! TIMMY I've gotta get Vicky back. I'm going to need a distraction... (points OS) Look! A pointy object! GARY AND BETTY WHERE!?!

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While they're distracted, Timmy runs for the ball pit. They try to stop him but Timmy makes a dive for it... INT. - THE BALL PIT Poof! Wanda and Cosmo pop in as PINK AND GREEN BALLS. TIMMY I wish we were on Yugopotamia! POOF! They're gone! OUTSIDE THE PIT, Gary and Betty desperately claw at the balls.

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

GARY He's gone! BETTY We are so fired! DISSOLVE TO: EXT. - A YUGOPOTAMIAN MARKET - DAY Timmy (in CRASH NEBULA GEAR) and Cosmo and Wanda, beam in. TIMMY Why am I in my Crash Nebula space suit? COSMO It's Spacey and form fitting? WANDA You wore it last time you were here! TIMMY You think they'll remember me? YUGOPOTAMIAN MALE It's Timmy Turner! The Earth warrior who eats the dreaded chocolate!!! YUGOPATAMIANS Slither for your life!!! Mass hysteria! The crowd flees in every direction. YUGOPATAMIANS (terrified walla) COSMO I'd call that a "yes". ON A CORNER - A GUARD and TWO PARTNERS. PALACE GUARD We must inform King Grippullon and Queen Jipjorullac we are being invaded! CUT TO: INT. - THE THRONE ROOM - LATER

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The King and Queen smile as they look at MARK'S BABY PICTURES. Various YUGOPOTAMIAN PARTY GOERS mill about. KING

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

I remember when Mark was first spawned, my queen! You never looked more hideous! QUEEN They regenerate so fast. Mark was so disappointed with his gifts, I hope this surprise birthday party cheers him up! YUGOPOTAMIAN #1 He's coming! He's coming! The lights go off. Everybody hides. THE PALACE GUARD runs in.

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EVERYBODY IN ROOM Surprise! Beat: Realization. It's not Mark. EVERYBODY IN ROOM (Groans in disappointment) PALACE GUARD HORRIBLE NEWS! TIMMY TURNER THE WARRIOR CHILD FROM EARTH HAS RETURNED! KING GASP!!! An invasion! QUEEN JIPJORRULAC We can't let this spoil Mark's birthday! YUGOPATAMIAN #1 He's coming! He's coming! Lights off. Everybody hides. Timmy and the Godparents enter. EVERYBODY IN ROOM Surprise! (Beat) AAAAAA!!!!!!! KING We left your planet in peace! What do you want with us! TIMMY (pained) I demand the release of the Earth girl, Vicky! KING Vicky? She's here? Mark??

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

YUGOPATAMIAN #1 He's coming! He's coming!

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Lights off. Everybody hides, including Timmy. Mark, with the dazed and confused Vicky, enters. EVERYBODY IN ROOM AAAAA! (Beat: It's Mark) Surprise!! The King and Queen walk up to Mark. Mark is holding Vicky's hand as she flops around like a rag doll. TIMMY (TO COSMO AND WANDA) It's Vicky! Hide! POOF! They're FURNITURE. Timmy walks up to Mark and strikes a heroic pose. TIMMY Surprise. MARK No way! TIMMY Way. KING GRIPPULON (TO MARK) You have brought the wrath of Earth upon us! Give him his mate back! MARK No way! KING Way. TIMMY MATE?!?!? MARK It's my birthday, I am a man now, and I will not relinquish my love! I challenge the Earth punk to De-Chah-Fat! Everyone gasps in horror. TIMMY I accept. What kind of chocolate- eating, cookie-crunching, flower- dancing horror is De-Chah-Fat?

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

MARK I'm sorry, I sneezed. I meant to say Death Combat. TIMMY (croaks out) Excuse me? The Palace Guard walks up to Mark. PALACE GUARD You know the rules of De-Chaf-At. MARK Geshundheit!

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PALACE GUARD Thank you! Each round lasts 4000 Yugopotamian Hours. TIMMY What? PALACE GUARD Two of your earth minutes. Each warrior may choose their own arena of combat. And since it is Mark's birthday, he may choose first! MARK I choose the Yugopotamian war arena!! The guard stomps his battle AXE on the floor and Timmy, Mark, and the Guard all "beam" to.... INT. A YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR ARENA The place looks like the "Thunderdome". The Palace guard stands between Timmy and Mark, who stand about 50 feet apart, scowling at each other. PALACE GUARD Let the battle BEGIN! MARK In the name of Vicky, prepare to totally meet your doom! He charges at Timmy firing the SMASHGRINDER 7000, a truly devilish weapon with all sorts of barrels, blades and pointy stuff jutting out from it.

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

ON TIMMY - as Cosmo and Wanda <Poof!> into scene. TIMMY I wish you were amazingly cool hi-tech protective space weapons!!

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POOF! Cosmo becomes an all purpose UTILITY BELT, Wanda becomes an amazing high-tech SPACE-TYPE GUN. TIMMY Bring it on, soap scum! COSMO "Alien" scum. TIMMY Whatever! He launches himself at Mark. They meet in mid-air (think subway fight in The Matrix). Timmy's Wanda gun fires pillows at Mark. They hit... MARK AHHH! FEATHERY SOFTNESS! Mark wipes a FEATHER from the corner of his mouth. They both spin away from each other. TIMMY Pillows? WANDA Yugopatamians hate fluffy and nice and good and sweet! COSMO Yeah, Timmy! On this planet you have to fight fire with fun! Mark fires glowing PLASMA BULLETS at Timmy which the Cosmo belt deflects. IN THE STANDS, Yugopotamians cheer Mark on. Except for Vicky, who is out cold and drooling on Erik's shoulder. IN THE ARENA - Timmy shoots FLOWERS at Mark which he ducks as they float past. Mark keeps moving in and firing. He gets Timmy backed up against the wall. Several extra BARRELS pop out of his gun. The crowd is up on it's tentacles. Timmy is cornered!! Nowhere to run!! MARK Checkmate, dude!! SFX: DING!

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

PALACE GUARD That is the end of the first round! (To Timmy) You may now choose the battle arena. TIMMY Think, Timmy... Think. Fight fire with fun. They hate good, and nice is icky. Good and nice combined... Timmy smiles a "cat that ate the canary" smile. WE... INT. LEARNATORIUM - SAME TIME Gary and Betty have their BAGS packed as KIDS mill about. GARY So, here's the deal. We send these kids home and then? BETTY We're in Mexico before anybody figures out the ball pit ate a child. GARY Exactamundo!!

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FWASH!!! Timmy and Mark appear in the ball pit, ready for round two. GARY I'll take credit for finding him. You unpack and keep that squid moist. Mark and Timmy face off, but Mark is distracted by the happy peppy surroundings. MARK Those colors! Those animals... aagh! It's all so fuzzy and nice! Timmy drops Wanda, and reaches into a nearby JAR of something that looks like it could be candy. MARK No, not jelly beans! TIMMY No! FAT FREE SOY BEANS! MARK AAAAA! WAY TOO HEALTHY!!!!

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

Timmy throws them as though they were grenades. Mark dodges, and lands in the arms of a STUFFED POLAR BEAR. POLAR BEAR I'm Pete, the Polar Bear! Can you save me from extinction? MARK AAA! Children cheer! They love the excitement. The spontaneity. BETTY / GARY Stop! This is not an approved activity! A FREEZ-O BEAM from Mark's SG721, popsicles them. The kids cheer. They're out of the loop. KIDS HA! HA! HA! MARK The laughter of children! I cannot take the laughter of children! Timmy smugly walks up, holding something behind his back. MARK Dude. No. Please! TIMMY Now... Cuddle the Mole!!! Timmy reveals the mole. Mark collapses in horror. MARK I CANNOT CUDDLE THE MOLE! I SURRENDER! YOU WIN THE DE-CHAF-AT! GARY AND BETTY Bless you! MARK Yeah.

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Suddenly, The King, Queen, Jeff, Erik and the dazed Vicky beam in. The King and Queen see all the kids and freak. KING Earth child, once again you have won fair and square. Here. Take your woman and kindly slay our son.

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

VICKY …Tuesday is applesauce day…

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Vicky staggers over to Timmy. Timmy SHOULD catch her, but lets her drop like a sack of lead. Timmy walks up to the clearly crushed Mark. TIMMY Hey, Man... She's not my woman! She's my baby sitter! And once I'm 16, you can have her back for good! MARK Six years? That's like a gabillion Yugopotamian hours. This birthday stinks.

TIMMY Well... I do feel bad about spoiling your big day so I will give you two gifts! One, I will spare your life! MARK Awesome! TIMMY And two... DISSOLVE TO: INT. - YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR SHIP - LATER Mark, Jeff and Erik stand before a big SMACK-A-MOLE game. JEFF Dude, that Earth kid isn't so bad. ERIK Yeah, check out his present! The smack-a-mole game starts. Gary and Betty, still frozen, pop out of the holes. Erik and Jeff smack them with FOAM MALLETS. Mark looks out the porthole at a receding Earth. MARK Foolish human! When I'm done with this combat training device, I will return for Vicky, yet again! GARY AND BETTY Soy cube? MARK

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out”

third draft script by Jack Thomas

7.10.01

Niceness! Run!!!! As Mark, Erik and Jeff run OS we... DISSOLVE TO: INT. - TIMMY'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

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Timmy, normally dressed, and Cosmo and Wanda, as goldfish, sit next to the still-dazed Vicky on the couch. TIMMY Well, Mark's gone, Vicky's back and babysitting, I'm not in happy town anymore and everything's right in the world! COSMO And you're not dead! Vicky comes out of it. VICKY I... Uh... HEY! Where am I? What am I doing here? And why aren't you miserable? YOU'D BETTER... Timmy hits a button on his belt. PSST! Knock out gas. Vicky drops. And on Timmy smiling, we... IRIS OUT

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