It is very important to know one's self for at least three reasons: First, you have to live with yourself

24/7. No one in your life will be with you as much as you are with yourself. Would you live with a stranger for so long without knowing anything about them? Essentially, it is about self-awareness.Who you are, what you like and want, where you are going, what makes you happy and what makes you irritated. Those are very important things to know if you are to improve the quality of your life and take advantage of the things which make you glow. Second, self-awareness builds confidence. The more you know about you, the greater you will feel emotionally and the more adept you will become at dealing with situations. You then become more intuitive about what works for you and what doesn't. Self-awareness is a powerful tool for improving competence because you will be pushed along directions which make you feel good rather than living in a vague way from day to day, not knowing how you feel or what you should do. Finally, self-awareness boosts identity. If you don't know much about your background, history, culture, gender and what you value, how will you get on with others in mutual respect? They cannot respect what they don't understand. People who lack self-awareness tend to be ambiguous and make others feel uncomfortable because they are never sure what to do. So ignorance about the sel is not a good thing. Self-awareness builds self-esteem through personal appreciation. Knowledge is power, but the greatest power is self-knowledge. If you do not really know much about you, how can you appreciate others? Most important, how can they value and appreciate you too?

What does it mean to know oneself? Knowing yourself is beyond figuring out your favorite color, your ideal mate, your favorite pet or everything about your best friend. We are no longer in high school thank heavens where being yourself meant being just like everyone else, acting stupid and defying our parents and teachers! Knowing yourself is a deeper, greater and slower process. It is a road that is long and winding and you must be ready to travel it. It brings you face-to-face with your self-doubts and you need your inner confidence to push through it. But it is a journey that pays in abundance, the magnificence of this rose blossoming before you.

Knowing yourself means respecting your values in life, your beliefs, your personality, your priorities, your moods, your habits, your magnificent body, and your relationships. For me, knowing myself means devoting time to my yoga because the body movements and br eathing take me to where I truly belong. Knowing yourself means understanding your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and fears. It means being aware of your eccentricities and idiosyncrasies, your likes and dislikes, your tolerances and limits, your insecurities and your fears. Knowing yourself means knowing your purpose in life. You are not born knowing yourself. You do not get to know yourself simply by growing up and growing old. Knowing yourself is a conscious effort; you do it with intention and purpose. Not knowing yourself becomes obvious sooner or later. A quiet frustration lives in your heart when you do not know yourself. You may choose to live with it and ignore it or you may choose to start getting to know yourself. A Get to Know Yourself Mini-Guide: 1. Get to Know Your Personality: Maybe are the type to take personality and assessment tests. Maybe you can just observe and listen and collect bits and pieces of the puzzle that will make the

whole come clear for you. I prefer the latter but either way, get to know your personality inside out. Who are you behind your name? What are your characteristic traits? What image do you portray to the outside world? What is true nature as a person on a happy day, on a sad day, in face of a challenge or a great reward? How do you react to the world around you? 2. Get to Know Your Values: When I work with my clients, one of the first things I ask before the coaching sessions is a list of their values. I learned this from a great mentor once. The list of lifes core values all sound good but the question is which ones feed the flames of your fire? In your work, in your home, in all aspects of your life, which ones can you not compromise on? Is it honesty, integrity, security or flexibility? Is it dedication to others, wisdom and learning, financial comfort or fun? Do you value loyalty above excellence, responsibility above ambition, or innovation above improvement? 3. Get to Know Your Body: I used to think I know my body. How silly of me! The more I learn about my body now, the more it surprises and delights me, it amazes me. Yours can too. How well do you know your body, your breathing, your limits of balance and flexibility? Or have you wrongly decided that you cant do this and that your body type wont do that already and thus closed the door to wonderful possibilities? Have you taken enough time to become truly intimate with the loveliest temple on earth, your own body? My greatest meditation discovery is a program I have used it, love it and trust it: ReAwakening (my affiliate link). As you may know, I have a hard time meditating and staying still. The soothing voice of Angela and the calming music are great but MOST OF ALL, ReAwakening goes through a powerful system with the story telling that guides you into a meditative zone where you go deep into a heavenly zen state. Grab your own copy of this incredible meditation program! 4. Get to Know your Moods: Your moods can be good and bad, harmful and delightful; dont underestimate their subtle power. Get to know what frustrates you and what brings you peace. Understand what makes you react a certain way and how can you manage a poor mood at critical times in your life. Learn your best and worst moods and find ways to manage the poor ones and ways to enhance the good ones. Learn to release your bad moods through powerful sessions meditation with ReAwakening. 5. Get to Know your Likes and Dislikes: Oh my favorite, what we like and equally important, what we do not like. Have you taken the time to define them just for you and not in a peer group with your friends and family? Defining your own likes and especially dislikes takes some guts. It is not nice to talk about our dislikes but it is far less nice to deny our true desires so choose wisely. If you do not like camping or traveling or visiting your friends in another state, dont do it. If you love eating out or shopping online or learning Japanese or eating a raw food diet, stop making excuses to please others about your guilty pleasures. Stay true to your likes and dislikes.

NDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN Topic(s): Gender Differences, Home Page 33 Comments I would venture to say that most marital difficulties center around one fact men and women are TOTALLY different. The differences (emotional, mental, and physical) are so extreme that without a concentrated effort to understand them, it is nearly impossible to have a happy marriage. A famous psychiatrist once said, After thirty years of studying women, I ask myself, What is it that they really want? If this was his conclusion, just imagine how little we know about our wives. You may already be aware of some of the differences. Many, however, will come as a complete surprise. Did you know, for instance, that virtually every cell in a mans body has a chromosome makeup entirely different from those in a womans body? How about this next one? Dr. James Dobson says there is strong evidence indicating the seat of the emotions in a mans brain is wired differently than in a womans. By virtue of these two differences, men and women are miles apart emotionally and physically. Lets examine some of the differences between men and women. MENTAL/EMOTIONAL DIFFERENCES: Women tend to be more personal than men. Women have a deeper interest in people and feelings building relationships while men tend to be more preoccupied with practicalities that can be understood through logical deduction. Men tend to be more challenge-and-conquer oriented competing for dominance hence, their strong interest in sports such as football and boxing. Why would a woman be less interested in a boxing match? Because close, loving relationships are usually not developed in the ring! Also, watch what happens during many family vacations. He is challenged by the goal of driving 400 miles a day, while she wants to stop now and then to drink coffee and relax and relate. He thinks thats a waste of time because it would interfere with his goal. Men tend to be less desirous and knowledgeable in building intimate relationships, both with God and with others. For example, women are usually the ones who buy marriage books. They are usually the ones who develop the initial interest in knowing God and attending church. When a man realizes his wife is more naturally motivated to nurture relationships, he can relax and accept these tendencies and choose to develop a better marriage and better relationships with his children. Do you realize that your wifes natural ability for developing relationships can help you fulfill the two greatest commandments

taught by Christloving God and loving others (Matt 22:36-40)? Jesus said that if we obey these two commandments, we are fulfilling all the commandments. Think of it! Your wife has the God-given drive and ability to help you build meaningful relationships in both these areas. God knew you needed special help because He stated, It is not good for the man to alone; I will make him a helper [and completer] suitable for him (Genesis 2:18). If you let her, your wife can open up a whole new and complete world of communication and deeper relationships. Dr. Cecil Osborne, in his book The Art of Understanding Your Mate, said women become an intimate part of the people they know and the things that surround them; they enter into a kind of oneness with their environment. Though a man relates to people and situations, he usually doesnt allow his identity to become entwined with them. He somehow remains apart. Thats why a woman, viewing her house as an extension of herself, can be hurt when its criticized by others. Women tend to find their identity in close relationships, while men gain their identity through vocations. Because of a womans emotional identity with people and places around her, she needs more time to adjust to change that may affect her relationships. A man can logically deduce the benefits of a change and get psyched-up for it in a matter of minutes. Not so with a woman. Since she focuses on immediate consequences of a relocating, for example, she needs time to overcome the initial adjustment before warming up to the advantages of it. Men tend to express their hostility through physical violence, while women tend to be more verbally expressive. PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES: Dr. Paul Popenoe, founder of the American Institute of Family Relations in Los Angeles, dedicated his more productive years to the research of biological differences between the sexes. Some of his findings are listed below: Woman has greater constitutional vitality, perhaps because of her unique chromosome makeup. Normally, female outlives male by three or four years in the U.S. Womans metabolism is normally lower than mans. Man and woman differ in skeletal structure, woman having a shorter head, broader face, less protruding chin, shorter legs, and longer trunk. Woman has larger kidneys, liver, stomach, and appendix than man, but smaller lungs. Woman has several unique and important functions: menstruation, pregnancy, lactation. Womans hormones are of a different type and more numerous than mans. Womans thyroid is larger and more active. It enlarges during pregnancy and menstruation; makes woman more prone to goiter; provides resistance to cold; is associated with her smooth-skinned,

relatively hairless body and thick layer of subcutaneous fat. Womans blood contains more water and 20 percent fewer red cells. Since the red cells supply oxygen to the body cells, woman tires more easily and is more prone to faint. Her constitutional vitality is, therefore, limited to life span. (When the working day in British factories was increased from ten to twelve hours under wartime conditions, accidents increased 150 percent among women but not at all among men.) On the average, man possesses 50 percent more brute strength than woman (40 percent of a mans body weight is muscle; 23 percent of a womans). Womans heart beats more rapidly (average 80 beats per minute vs. 72 for man). Womans blood pressure (10 points lower than mans) varies from minute to minute, but she has less tendency toward high blood pressure at least until after menopause. Womans vital capacity or breathing power is significantly lower than mans. Woman withstands high temperatures better than man because her metabolism slows down less SEXUAL DIFFERENCES: A womans sexual drive tends to be related to her menstrual cycle, while a mans drive is fairly constant. The hormone testosterone is a major factor in stimulating a mans sexual desire. A woman is stimulated more by touch and romantic words. She is far more attracted by a mans personality, while a man is stimulated by sight. A man is usually less discriminating about those to whom he is physically attracted. While a man needs little or no preparations for sex, a woman often needs hours of emotional and mental preparation. Harsh or abusive treatment can easily remove her desire for sexual intimacy for days at a time. When a womans emotions have been trampled by her husband, she is often repulsed by his advances. Many women have told me they feel like prostitutes when theyre forced to make love while feeling resentment toward their husbands. However, a man may have NO idea what he is putting his wife through when he forces sex upon her. These basic differences, which usually surface soon after the wedding, are the source of many conflicts in marriage. From the start, the woman has a greater intuitive awareness of how to develop a loving relationship. Because of her sensitivity, she is initially more considerate of his feelings and enthusiastic about developing a meaningful, multi-level relationship; that is, she knows how to build something more than a sexual marathon; she wants to be a lover, a best friend, a fan, a homemaker, and an appreciated partner. The man, on the other hand, does not generally have her instinctive awareness of what the relationship should be. He doesnt know how to encourage and love his wife or treat her in a way that meets her deepest needs.

Since he doesnt have an understanding of these vital areas through intuition, he must rely solely upon the knowledge and skills he has acquired prior to marriage. Unfortunately, our educational system does not require a training program for a husband-to-be. His only education may be the example he observed in his home. For many of us, that example might have been insufficient. We enter marriage knowing everything about sex and very little about genuine, unselfish love. I am not saying men are more selfish than women. Im simply saying that at the outset of a marriage a man is not as equipped to express unselfish love or as desirous of nurturing marriage into a loving and lasting relationship as a woman is. Now that you know WHY men and women cannot understand their respective differences without great effort, I hope you will have more hope, patience, and tolerance as you endeavor to strengthen and deepen your relationship with your wife [or husband].

Psychological differences between men and women Recent researches, psychology and biology have pointed out many differences between men and women that can help us understand them both in a better way. Sometimes the main reason communication problems happen between men and women is that they don't quite understand the differences between themselves well. Had men and women understood their psychological and biological differences they would have understood each other better and less problems would have happened between them. In this article i will point out some of the major psychological and biological differences between men and women. M Major differences between men and women 1) Communication skills & body language The communication center inside a woman's brain is much larger than the communication center inside a man's brain. Women are generally better able to process words and to use language than men provided that all other factors are constant.Women pay special attention to words, read in between lines and can notice the body language of people along with their facial expressions in a much better way than men. (see also Understanding body language better) ) 2) Sharing vs problem solving: Men in general are more independent than women. They even prefer to solve their problems alone without talking about them. Women on the other hand become distressed if they didn't share their problems with their friends even if their friends weren't able to provide solutions. This is a famous point of conflict where a woman tells her man about a problem with the intention of sharing it with him then becomes surprised by the man's single

line answer (which is intended to provide a solution to the problem). This is also the reason why women go to bathroom in groups, they just like to share the experience of the day t together in a place where no man can watch them 3) Attraction and sex: The area inside the brain responsible for sexual desire is much bigger inside the man's brain and as a result: 1) Men think about sex more often than women 2) Men care about looks much more than women care about looks 3) Men can easily get attached to a woman just because she looks hot. In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that women do care about looks as well as other important personality traits and resources while men idolize physical looks and can sacrifice many other traits for the sake of getting along with the most attractive woman (see also Do looks really matter to women) ) 4) Aggression vs diplomacy: Women are biologically wired to avoid conflict unless some other psychological factor comes into play and affects their original nature (such as hating their identity,see Masculine protest). Men on the other hand are much more aggressive in general. Researches have shown that men are better than women in recognizing angry faces and this enables them to quickly notice their opponents. A typical woman would try to avoid conflict and maintain peace while a typical man will hardly back off if someone threatened or challenged him. 5) Logical thinking vs emotional thinking: Men in general can take decisions without being emotionally affected that much while women in general take into consideration other factors that are related to emotions that most men overlook.