How much do we appreciate?

Last Sunday, His Eminence Kyabje Khamtrul gave a teaching on "Buddhism in day to day life" at the College of Science and Technology, Rinchending for the faculty members, college students and residents from the nearby places. His Holiness ta lked on how happiness and peace of mind result from small factors and that the k ey to achieving happiness in life is to appreciate who we are and what we have. Does happiness come from a sense of satisfaction or from external, something outs ide? Rimpochhe questioned. And He went on to cite an example - if someone is offe red a huge sum of money, he/she would be extremely happy. Is it because of the m oney? However, if a few days later that person realizes he/she has a dreadful di sease, then he/she would be more than happy to part with the money without any r eservation! We need internal happiness to have appreciation and a sense of satisfa ction about life, was Holinesss message. How much do we appreciate who we are and what we have? This is a very relevant q uestion all of us must ask on this day and age, when we are gradually sucked in by an increased materialism and lack of appreciation towards life. And the way i n which people dare to end their lives is an example of our lack of appreciation of who we are and what we have in life as we are gradually hauled into an immea surable crater of materialism sans appreciation and satisfaction. What is appreciation and why do we need it? Cheryl Nordyke, an American writer a nd the co-owner of Waves of Gratitude Jewelry and Apparel, defines appreciation as the ability to find the beauty and freshness in life that surrounds us daily w hether we live in the city or the country. an understanding that there are thing s in the world that surround us that are never exactly the same from day to day and have a beauty more magnificent than anything we could ever purchase. Often we are unhappy with our parents, spouses, children, jobs, bosses, salary, work place, colleagues, subordinates, friends, etc. This is because our concepts and ideals of caring parents, happy marriage, obedient children, fulfilling car eers, understanding bosses, large incomes, comfortable workplaces, helpful colle agues, subordinates and friends are different from what they really are. But do we appreciate that we have good wishes from our parents? Do we appreciate how lu cky we are to have children? How many of us are thankful of our jobs that feed u s and our family members? Because there are out there so many people, who are no t so lucky to have parents; people who are either divorced or widowed; people wh o continuously pine for children without much result. And there are hundreds sti ll looking for jobs. We tend to forget that happiness doesn t come as a result of getting something we don t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have, said Fre derick Keonig (1774 1833), a German inventor. How relevant this profound wisdom is even in the twenty-first century! After so much hassle of job hunting in a clogging market, we manage to land in s ome ministries, agencies or organizations. And finding one makes us happy. This is a big accomplishment, but soon we realize that this is not what we have expec ted. And this is the source of our frustration and unhappiness. There is a heavy clash of sky-high expectation and a ground-flat reality. But there are people w ho go knocking from door to door all day long, every day in hope of finding a jo b. However awful jobs we may be in, arent we happy that we at least have somethin g to hope for? This is what His Holiness means when He talks of sense of appreci ation unlocking happiness. We want something because we think that it will make u s happy. We go for it. When we get it, it is not enough and it doesnt make us hap py. We want something else and we get that. We need something else again. The yo ung people will think that the old people who are successful must be happy. The old people are still chasing after something they feel significant.

We complain of meager salary and demand and whine for pay hikes. Well I agree, e veryone needs enough to feed his/her family members. But sometimes I wonder how all these daily wage workers survive on the income they generate. Their monthly income is far lesser than our allowances. Their families never go hungry, which means they manage with what they earn. And yet we keep pining for more even when ours is ten times more than that of daily wage workers? How about beggary? These beggars on the streets have nothing in life. Their entire livelihood is at the mercy of those passing them. Some are crippled for life. Some are blind, deaf an d mute. Where is the scope for hope? But besides all that still they survive. Do we appreciate of what we earn? And likewise, if we appreciate our spouses and be thankful for the joy and happi ness they bring in our life, divorce cases would be rare for it is last option a vailable. Marital happiness results from our appreciation of our wives and husba nds; good or bad, beautiful or ugly, short or thin, fair or charcoal black. In short happiness results from our appreciation of who we are and what rightful ly have in our life our parents, children, careers, workplace, colleagues and fr iends - being satisfied and grateful that we have them with us.