Self in Interpersonal Communication

Chapter 3, Part 1 Devito 10th ed.

Chapter 3 Who are

you.really?

Objectives: Self-Concept
1. 2. 3. Define self-concept; explain how it develops. Explain how culture influences self-concept. Define & give examples of ego boosters/busters. List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept. Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example. Explain why self-concept is often distorted. Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be changed.

4. 5. 6. 7.

I. Self-Concept
A. Definition
1. How you view yourself; self-image 2. Feelings & thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses 3. Relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself: emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, etc.

B. How the Self-Concept Develops

1. Others Images of You
a. Looking Glass Self b. Reflected Appraisal: c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters

2.

Social Comparisons
a. Superior/Inferior b. Same/Different

3. 4.

Cultural Teachings Your Own Interpretations & Experiences

Sources of Self Concept

Others Images

Social Comparisons

Self Concept

Your Interpretations & Evaluations

Cultural Teachings

Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise

Recall an ego booster who helped enhance your self-esteem. Recall an ego buster from your life. Recall a time when you were an ego booster to someone else. Recall a time when you were an ego buster.

Cultural Influences on Self-Concept

Individualistic Cultures Self is separate, unique indiv; should be independent, self-sufficient Should take care of self & immediate family Reward individual achievement; value individual decisions; individual credit/ blame Value autonomy, youth, change, individual security, equality Collectivistic Cultures Emphasize extended families or in-groups; we orientation Should care for extended family before self Reward contribution to group goals; group decisions valued; shared credit/blame Value--duty, order, tradition, age, group security, status, hierarchy

C. Characteristics of Self-Concept
The self-concept: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. affects communication. is subjective. resists change. is flexible, if it is healthy. is multi-dimensional

1. Self-concept affects communication.

High Self-Esteem
1. Likely to think well of others 2. Expect to be accepted 3. Evaluate own performance more favorably 4. Perform well when being watched 5. Work harder for those who demand high standards 6. Feel comfortable with those perceived as superior 7. Able to defend self against criticism

Low Self-Esteem
1. Likely to disapprove of others 2. Expect to be rejected 3. Evaluate own performance less favorably 4. Perform poorly when being watched 5. Work harder for undemanding less critical people 6. Feel threatened by those perceived as superior 7. Have difficulty defending self against criticism; easily influenced

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
1. We make a prediction based on a belief. 2. We act toward person/situation as if prediction/belief is true. 3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is true, it becomes true. 4. We observe this effect, which strengthens our belief.

2. The self-concept is subjective.

a. Obsolete information b. Distorted feedback c. Emphasis on perfection d. Social expectations:
Modesty vs. Egotism

3. The self-concept resists change.

a. Cling to existing self-concept, even when evidence shows its obsolete b. Cling to negative outmoded self-perceptionwhether negative or positive c. Can produce self-delusion and lack of growth

Cant Exercise
Write a sentence which states something you cant do. Cross out the cant and replace it with wont or havent yet. How does this change the meaning of this sentence? What does this have to do with selfconcept?

4. A healthy self-concept is flexible.

a. We change:
-from moment to moment. -from situation to situation. -over longer periods of time.

b. We need to constantly adjust our self-concept as new data becomes available.

Changing the Self-Concept

Have realistic expectations Strive for a realistic perception of yourself Have the will to change Develop the skill to change

The self-concept is multidimensional.

5. The self-concept is multidimensional.

a. PRIVATE ME
1) Perceived self 2) Person you believe yourself to be.

b. IDEAL ME
1) Desired self 2) Picture of person you wish you were

c.

PUBLIC ME
1) Presenting self 2) Face you try to show others

Defining My Three Selves Exercise

Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label the first column, Perceived Self. Write words and/or draw pictures that best describe the person you know yourself to be. Label the second area, Desired Self, and repeat the process using words/pictures that describe the way you would like to be. Label the third area, Presenting Self. Us words/pictures that represent the way to present yourself to others. Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas.
(Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)

Objectives: Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Explain the Johari window. Compare & contrast Johari window for two different relationships. Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure. List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure. List & explain guidelines for responding to self-disclosures of others.

II. Self-Awareness
A. Johari Window -- a tool that represents your communication behaviors

Goal is to be as open a communicator as appropriate.

Known to Self

Not Known to Self

Known to Others

Open Self Hidden Self

Blind Self

Not Known to Others

Unknown Self

Johari Window

III. Self-Esteem your own evaluation of worth CLUES?

Attack your selfdestructive beliefs. B. Engage in self-affirmation. C. Seek out nourishing people. C. Work on projects that will result in success.
A.

IV. Self-Disclosure -sharing previously unknown personal information with another

A. Factors Influencing SelfDisclosure 1. Who You Are

2. Culture 3. Gender 4. Your Listeners 5. Topic

WOMEN

MEN

Weigh the rewards against the risks before deciding to selfdisclose.

B. Rewards of SelfDisclosure
1. Get to know self better
2. Increases communication effectiveness 3. Increases physiological health

C. Dangers of SelfDisclosure
1. 2. 3. Personal risks Relational risks Professional risks

Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website

Guidelines for Self-Disclosure

Consider the:
motivation. appropriateness. disclosures of the other. possible burdens.

Guidelines for Responding to Self-Disclosures of Others

Use active listening skills. Support & reinforce the discloser. Keep disclosures confidential. Do not use disclosures as weapons.

Objectives: Apprehension
1. Define communication apprehension & distinguish between state & trait apprehension. List 7 apprehensive behaviors. List & explain 7 influences on apprehension. Explain how cultural differences impact apprehension. Briefly describe 3 apprehension management theories.

2. 3. 4. 5.

V. Apprehension
A. Nature of comm. apprehension
1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety about interaction 2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm., regardless of situation 3. State apprehension--specific to a given comm. situation

B. Apprehensive Behaviors
1. Decrease in frequency, strength, & likelihood of engaging in comm. 2. Less willing to volunteer 3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating 4. Talk less & avoid leadership 5. Disclose less 6. Avoid jobs requiring comm. 7. Less likely to get job interviews

C. Influences on comm. apprehension

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Degree of evaluation Subordinate status Degree of conspicuousness Degree of unpredictability Degree of dissimilarity Prior success & failures Lack of comm. skills & experience

D. Culture & apprehension

1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity 2. Higher if you have stereotypes, prejudices 3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status, perception of evaluation

E. Apprehension Management Theories

1. Cognitive Restructuring--change unrealistic beliefs which cause fear of failure 2. Systematic Desensitization--unlearn apprehension--creating hierarchy of behaviors leading up to desired behavior 3. Skill Acquisition-a. b. c. d. Prepare & practice Focus on success Familiarize yourself w/situation Try to relax

The End

Presenting Self?

Appropriate Self-Disclosure?

NOT!!!!!

Surveys/Exercises
*Weighing Rewards & Costs of SelfDisclosure Self-Concept Scales Locus of Control Scales Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons & stories Self-Actualization Survey Self-Disclosure Survey Self-Monitoring Survey