THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

A number of clarifications are needed to

properly understand the true meaning of the commandment: 1. That its original meaning referred more to the obligation of grown children, now adults, to take care of their aged parents. My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives, Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him; revile him not in the fullness of your strength (Sir 3 :12f)

2. This original focus on taking care of aged

parents highlights two meaningful points that were present in the third commandment. a. Human life and parents are not to be evaluated in terms of productivity. Aged, unproductive parents like Sunday rest and worship have their own fundamental personal value and worth which must be respected. b. Also like worship and rest on the Lords

day, this respect for aged parents is a necessary virtue not just for the individual family, but for the community as well. Respect for the aged is creative of, and actively builds up, the Christian community. 3. Both parents are to receive equal respect. The OT books of Exodus and Deuteronomy have Honor your father and mother (Ex 20:12 ; Dt 5:16), where as Leviticus has Revere your mother and father (Lv 19:3), showing a balance

which unfortunately has not always been kept in ensuing ages. The fourth commandment is not based on either patriarchal or matriarchal patterns of society. Rather, it reflects the primal force of human love from which human life is continually generated, according to Gods divine plan of sharing his creativity. 4. Despite this obvious correspondence with Filipino cultural values, the fourth commandment is often not the easiest to keep.

 Three obstacles to honor your father and

mother are encountered: 1. It is the sad fact that not all fathers and mothers act as loving parents. Though child abuse is [hopefully] still rare, child neglect in one form or another is not. Some parents impose on their children unreasonable burdens that come close to enslavement. More often poverty and destitution prevent even self-sacrificing

Filipino parents from providing their children with even the basic necessities of life. 2. The obstacle arises from the stages of the childrens and youths natural growth and development which demand a certain distancing from parents. These periods of growing up are painful and potentially destructive, unless handled well with parental patience and understanding.

3. The generation gap that cultural history

has always created between parents and children, but which has become much more intense in contemporary times because of the speed and extent of cultural change. Today many traditional Filipino attitudes, values and institutions are questioned so critically by the youth that ordinary, common sense respect for authority is often gravely weakened.

 This obstacle demands enduring and loving patience on the part of both parents and children, especially through the difficult years of growing up. Such patience is admirably fostered by an active prayer life and openness to Christs Spirit. In a sense, these 3 common obstacles to honoring father and mother can be viewed as a positive force in helping us learn how to respond authentically to Christs command to love others.

A. The Family: originating context of life

God wills all persons to share in His divine life, to become Gods people. The family is the basic means for carrying out this plan, since it is a community of persons, serving life through the procreation and education of offspring, participating in the development of society, and sharing in the mission of the Church (PCP II 575). Filipinos have traditionally recognized children as a gift from God.

 Moreover, this cooperative work of God

and he parents does not stop at birth, but continues all through the years of nurturing and educating the child (cf. CCC 220-6) Paul indicates the depth relationship between family and God when he writes: That is why I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name (Eph 3:14). The nature of the family can be considered under three titles:

 Covenant relationship This idea of our family covenant simply means to bring out this truth: There is more to the daily acts, talk and events in the family life than first meets the eye. The more is love, and a love that goes all the way back to God as its ultimate source. It is a covenant love because it creates and sustains the basic

 community we need to become and survive as persons. Our family is the covenant where we truly belong and find our home. Second, the Christian family Beyond being this covenant relationship, constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason, too, it can and should be called the domestic Church (FC 21: cf. CCC 2204).

 For the family is not only where new citizens of human society are born, [but] by the grace of the Holy Spirit received in Baptism, these are made children of God, thus perpetuating the people of God through the centuries. Thus the family is, so to speak the domestic Church (LG 11) We exercise the daily Christian virtues of generous self giving in active charity, in mutual forgiveness and obedience, in prayer and thanksgiving.

 Actually, our Christian families, like the Church itself, in some real way share in the communion of persons and love of the Blessed Trinity (cf. CCC 2205). Thus, by its nature as an intimate community of love and inspired and sustained by the new commandment of love, the Christian family is placed at the service of the building up of the Kingdom of God in history by participating in the life and mission of the church (FC 50, 64. 49).

 Finally, the family is also the first vital cell of the society (CCC 2207) When Philippine society is becoming more depersonalized, the family constitutes an irreplaceable school to developing, guarding and transmitting the social virtues and values of respect, dialogue, generous service, justice and love.

B. Family Relationship

Filial respect for parents is demanded of children and adults by the fourth commandment. The wisdom literature of the Old Testament advises: Observe, my son, your fathers bidding, and reject not your mothers teaching (Pr 6:20). Read Eph 6:1-3

 Jesus also showed filial reverence to his

parents in the book of Luke 2:51-52 But it is important to understand that obedience here cannot mean the automatic, unquestioning submissiveness that some Filipino parents seem to hold up as the Christian ideal for their children (cf. DCPD 20-23). Often such blind obedience shows more servile fear than authentic filial respect.

 True obedience arises, rather, form a

willingness to listen to what is being asked, and to respond in a fully personal, conscientious manner (cf. CCC 2216). The commandments to honor, then, means showing proper gratitude, affection, respect, obedience and care to parents (cf. CCC 2214f) The act of honoring, far from being merely a convention of social custom, is basically a religious act, whose deep roots and true nature are revealed in the Sacred Scripture.

 In the Old Testament, extreme punishment

was decreed for transgressors: Whoever curses his father or mother shall be put to death (Ex 21:17) A blasphemer is he who despises his father, accursed of his Creator, he who angers his mother (Sir 3:2-3: CCC 2218) In honoring our parents we honor God himself. This is expressed positively in the rewards promised to those who obey the commandment.

For the Lord sets a father in honor over his children: a mothers authority He confirms over her sons. He who honors his father atones for sins; he stores up riches who revere his mother (Sir 3:2-3; cf. CCC 2218) Parental respect and responsibility for children. Care and respect for their children as persons in their own right are rejoined by the fourth commandment.

 Thus we read in the Pauline letters: Fathers, do not nag your children lest they lose heart (Col 3:21) Fathers, do not anger your children, bring them up with the training and instruction benefitting the Lord (Eph 6:4) In Christ teaching in Luke 11:11-13, he himself offered a very positive picture of human parents.