Restorative Approaches an emotionally literate approach to behaviour and relationship management

If we are not modelling what we teach then we are teaching something else
Helen Flanagan

S.E.A.L. - social and emotional aspects of learning

Key Themes :

self awareness managing feeling motivation empathy social skills

Department of Children, Schools and Families (DCSF), UK

2 children, John and Nathan, are squabbling over a piece of sports equipment during P.E. Class.

self awareness
understanding what I need to work at my best knowing what I am thinking and how that relates to how I am feeling being able to take responsibility for my actions (ie my choices)

managing feelings
being able to identify and recognise a range of feelings and express them in ways that do not hurt myself or other people knowing that thoughts, feelings and behaviour are linked understanding that changing the way I think about people and events changes how I feel about them

motivation
setting goals and thinking of the long term consequences to myself and others making choices about how activities and tasks can be tackled helping to shape my own classroom ethos and environment

empathy
understanding and respecting another persons point of view and how they might be feeling knowing that all people have feelings but recognise that they might experience and show them in different ways or in different circumstances knowing that my actions affect other people for better or worse

social skills
being able to live and work as part of a community (in class/school/at home) valuing friendships and relationships with people in my community working well in a group, cooperating to achieve a joint outcome being able to resolve conflicts solving problems by thinking of all the options, identifying advantages and disadvantages and evaluating outcomes in due course

John
Awareness of self and others; Managing of feelings; Whats happened John? What were you thinking when that happened and so how were you feeling? Who has been affected by what has happened? What do you need to feel better and put things right? What can you do now? And next time?

Empathy
Motivation Social skills of co-operation and problem-solving Motivation (empowerment and goal setting);

Nathan
Awareness of self and others; Managing of feelings; Whats happened Nathan? What were you thinking when that happened and so how were you feeling? Who has been affected by what has happened? What do you need to feel better and put things right? What can you do now? And next time?

Empathy
Motivation Social skills of co-operation and problem-solving Motivation (empowerment and goal setting);

The Restorative Approach models and teaches all the key S.E.A.L. themes

Restorative Theme One

Work together on the problem by sharing perspectives/experiences

Let everyone express how they personally experienced what has happened or is happening.

self awareness / empathy/ social skills

Restorative Theme Two

Express Thoughts and Feelings

Invite people to express what they were / are thinking and how they were / are feeling as a result of these thoughts
self awareness/managing feeling/empathy/ social skills

Restorative Theme Three

Harm and Affect

Invite each in turn to consider who has been or is being harmed / affected by the situation/event and how. Encourage accountability and responsibility.
self awareness/managing feeling/empathy/ social skills

Restorative Theme Four

Needs
Invite each in turn to consider what they need now to repair harm/solve the problem, to feel better and to move on.
self awareness/managing feeling/empathy/ social skills

Restorative Theme Five Repair and Reflections for the Future

Invite each in turn to consider how each of the needs expressed can be met, what support they might need to do this and how they will do things differently in the future.
self awareness/ motivation / social skills

What happened? What were you thinking? How were you feeling? Who else has been affected by this? What do you need, and what needs to happen now, so that the harm can be repaired ?

Modelling and developing S.E.A.L. when managing behaviour and relationship problems
Inviting all involved in a situation to share their perspective and experiences Encouraging everyone to express what they were thinking and feeling at the time Clarifying who has been affected and how Eliciting the needs of all those involved Identifying, from those involved, what needs to be done to put matters right
Negotiating how this can be achieved realistically to mutual satisfaction of all involved

Awareness of self and others; Empathy

Managing of feelings; self awareness Empathy Empathy and motivation

Social skills of co-operation and problem-solving

Motivation (empowerment and goal setting); self awareness

A child comes up to you in the playground in tears, saying another child has been horrid to her.

Child not getting started during a lesson swinging on chair and looking out of the window.

2 children are found fighting on the school field at lunchtime.

The caretaker comes to complain that she has caught a child in her room it is unclear what he was doing in there.

Parent comes in to complain their child feels picked on by their class teacher and blamed for things they did not do.

A child is rude to the coach driver on a school trip; after the driver shouts at him for standing up during the journey.

A cover staff is upset and tells you the class has behaved badly during the day.

Classroom assistant approaches you very upset and says that the class teacher is not listening to her and keeps giving the children different advice and work to do.

A member of the canteen staff comes to complain that a young person has made a rude comment to her about the food.

A child is found stealing a watch from the P.E. teachers drawer, where it had been placed for safekeeping during a lesson.

A child has sworn and made rude personal comments to a member of the teaching staff.

motivation
Restorative Pedagogy and Leadership Ask rather than tell - not just in conflicts but also during lessons and breaks, meetings and school trips!
what do you think? what needs to be done here? how could we/you do it? what resources do we/you need? how will we/you review / assess it?

When dealing with wrongdoing or conflict, is your response modelling the social and emotional skills you are teaching?
Do you invite young people to give you, individually, their perspective on what has happened? Are you genuinely curious about their thoughts and feelings at the time of the incident and since? Do you invite them to consider who else may have been affected? Do you ask them what their own personal needs are for closure and repair? Do you invite them to consider what needs to happen to put matters right and expect those responsible for any harm caused to become accountable by putting things right?

Do you manage to avoid:

Giving your own opinions and imposing your own values Offering unasked-for advice Assuming you know whats going on (even when you were present !) Assuming you know best Imposing solutions Taking sides Rushing people

Schools
To read more about restorative approaches in schools please visit our website on www.transformingconflict.org
Read : Just Schools (Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2004) Peer Mediation and Mentoring Training Manual (Optimus Education 2007)

Transforming Conflict National Centre for Restorative Justice in Youth Settings, Mortimer Hill, Mortimer Berks RG7 3PW Tel/fax 0118 9331520 info@transformingconflict.org www.transformingconflict.org